259
u/Supreme_Moharn 1d ago
This was always me. I wonder what causes this. Is it just a lower sense of self esteem or a kind of social anxiety that makes you do this (and makes other people do this to you)?
117
u/KrazyKatsBrick 1d ago
Yeah, for me it's this plus the fact that i can't talk to people to save my life, so i'm often not the one involved in the conversation.
54
u/aminervia 1d ago
In my experience it's just the fact that I'm the only one who cares, or the first one who notices
20
u/Zepangolynn 1d ago
If I am in the right position, I move to the front when this happens to hopefully make the people I was with more aware too. But I do know I will never be the one who gets to just stay next to somebody because in a group of three, I will never be the closest friend. That's not a dig at myself, at least not anymore. I know who I am, and that is not a best friend.
7
u/greatkerfluffle 20h ago
I have acutely high pattern recognition and can identify a sidewalk traffic jam long before most anyone I would be walking with. It’s a gift in some situations and a curse in others.
2
u/yogurtchicken21 1d ago
Sometimes I put myself there because I just want to listen to other people talk lol. Other times it’s because I’m in a run club and I’m slow af
2
105
u/AndreasDasos 1d ago
Was just hiking with two friends. We all naturally took turns being that one.
66
6
u/SakusaKiyoomi1 7h ago
Having a better friendgroup made the 'walking behind' time a quiet mental resting time for the person who does it. It feels better to know you can always go up front again once you're up again, while another person can stay back to recharge themselves
78
u/Weary-Writing5372 1d ago
I'm willingly that guy, I don't like having people walking behind me
I'll always stay behind on a group and check that no one is left behind
35
u/ZenMasterOfDisguise 1d ago
I don't like having people walking behind me
"I never let anyone walk behind me. 7 out of 10 attacks are from the rear" -Dwight Schrute
5
u/CorrectRange7312 1d ago
Same. I'm so bad at walking if someones behind, cause I sometimes randomly stop or slow down.
130
u/NoTimeForCautionCoop 1d ago
I was the fourth friend that the other three would run away from while laughing, while you’re trying to catch up to, not fully understanding why they didn’t want to be around you. Eventually given up and walk home alone.
15
u/Andromevas 1d ago
My condolences, buddy. If it's any comfort, I also have a core memory of my group of "friends" looking at me and suddenly running away laughing. They managed to lose me in the parked trailers behind a fair. That shit burns like hell, but, in the end you're better off without those people... I guess.
71
u/alexhaase 1d ago
If you're tall, like myself, it's just natural to walk behind the shorter friends. Everybody can see ahead of themselves, and you don't have to project your voice or repeat yourself.
21
u/Andromevas 1d ago
I had to walk behind the tall one. Couldn't see anything. I think that's a special kind of third wheeling...
8
u/Mikhail_Mengsk 1d ago
Also you are forced to keep the same pace instead of sprinting forward and having to slow down all the time.
And you can lean forward to tell something to both without having to slow down or turn back.
I always prefer to stay in the second line.
16
48
u/Squeaky_Ben 1d ago
you guys had friends?
-11
u/FearlessVegetable30 1d ago
yup. still do. its weird having a healthy social network you work on and put effort into
2
u/Squeaky_Ben 1d ago
Weird is definitely the defining word.
-14
u/FearlessVegetable30 1d ago
yeah, i can imagine thats how it seems when you dont have any friends or social connections
3
u/Squeaky_Ben 1d ago
used to.
Things just kinda broke apart at some point.
-15
u/FearlessVegetable30 1d ago
thats what happens when you dont put any effort into a friendship typically
10
u/Squeaky_Ben 1d ago
I think I draw the line of lamenting my situation at "it is all your fault, actually".
-7
u/FearlessVegetable30 1d ago
it sounds like it is given your "woe is me" attitude". just holding up the mirror to you
13
u/Squeaky_Ben 1d ago
I think I am done talking to you.
No hard feelings, but as much as I am a social failure, you sound like a social asshole.
7
u/Kfalkon 1d ago
You got this guy good. If he had as many friends as he claims to have I don't think he'd be begging you for attention so much like a lonely child acting up for their parents attention. I would genuinely be embarassed beyond belief to comment the things he said to you.
→ More replies (0)-1
2
u/MimicoSkunkFan2 1d ago
When you get older and your friends have had terrible life events that they couldn't handle and the only way they could cope was a crippling addiction, then you'll understand just how ridiculous you sound.
Also, lots of people have the kind of job where you travel around a lot so they have lots of friends, just not where they work right now, which can feel lonely.
Enjoy your mirror you self-absorbed twat :)
23
u/neckbishop 1d ago
And then you find out years later when you thought you were the third friend you were self isolating in the back when the homies wanted you to step up.
9
u/Unfair-Potential4527 1d ago
I was always that friend that everyone made fun of and was the butt of everyone’s joke
6
7
u/CilanEAmber 1d ago
I had that. Then it was the friend who was left out.
I'm not sure what I did wrong, but I don't blame them tbh.
6
u/KeyLimeGuy69 1d ago
That was me with a girlfriend in high school. I drove her and 2 of her friends to the mall, where her 2 friends were meeting up with a group of guys, who I was not friends with. Spent the whole time walking behind all of them. That's when I knew the relationship was done lol
6
6
u/ParkingShelter9634 1d ago
For me it was the fact that my friends don't have spatial awareness of how this causes inconvenience for other people. Plus it looks goofy when people walk like a wall.
Hence why i always picked the lone people/groups with odd number of people to walk home with.
A few of the comments here were genuinely depressing to imagine. I hope they have good times ahead in life.
3
u/ness-xergling 1d ago
Reading the comments. I'm sorry guys, I relate very much as that was my childhood, always being on the outside somehow. I'm sorry so many of you experienced that too. It slowly eats away at you.
4
u/ikindahateusernames 1d ago
Some people understand what a single-file line is, and don't take up the sidewalk like a neanderthal.
3
2
2
2
2
2
u/ReggieCorneus 1d ago
Most often it is because the other two are blind deaf and dumb, someone has to change the formation or they will stumble to the nearest light pole. It baffles me how clueless a lot of people are when they move around.
2
2
2
2
u/ianscuffling 1d ago
I was the third friend for most of my youth, now I guess I’ve become a slightly bigger deal in my new friend groups, but I still instinctively drop behind when the path is too narrow.
Problem is now that because my new friends (and wife) care enough about me they slow down with me, so I constantly have to say “keep walking, I’m going behind because there isn’t enough room”. And they’re like what? Why? Like they’ve never understood this situation.
I just can’t stop doing it.
2
2
u/PembrokePercy 1d ago
My daughter is 18 and is incapable of not being in the front with someone beside them. She will nip your heels and hover over your shoulder until you slow a step and then she jumps ahead. It's actually infuriating.
2
2
u/blue-jaypeg 1d ago
My house is on a pedestrian route to the High School/ Middle School. Kids never make way.
I have started scolding in a Stern School-Marm manner. I stop abruptly right in front of them and say, "single file when you meet oncoming traffic."
Complete n00bs. Utterly unsocialized and inept.
1
1
1
u/SyedHRaza 1d ago
You can walk on the road next to them if traffic isn’t bad or better yet I like to walk ahead
1
1
1
u/Large_Ad6683 1d ago
I’m the first friend now but I wasn’t in high school. I never let that 3rd friend feel like that. I figure it out.
1
u/LactasePHydrolase 1d ago
What about the friend who always gets stuck going first and then I spend 10 minutes looking backwards to be in the conversation?
1
1
u/FrequencyHigher 1d ago
This happened to me so often that my friend group started using my last name as a verb to describe the phenomenon.
1
1
1
1
u/headstone-headcase 1d ago
I always did that from the vanguard. Run ahead, don't drop behind.
It kinda puts you in charge and has your friends naturally looking/talking in your direction, which is pretty main character. You end up kinda talking over your shoulder and have to be a little light on your feet, but I've always been a pretty "active" walker anyway.
1
u/Catrescuemamma 1d ago
Fuck that! I’m the third friend who walks in the street to protect my sidewalk friends 🤣🤣🤣
1
1
u/LttlGrmlnTrblmkr 1d ago
I'm that friend voluntarily. A mix of agoraphobia and natural submissiveness makes me deeply uncomfortable about making decisions for others. If I'm in the back, I never have to pick what direction we go, or worry about how to navigate through a crowd. Friends of mine have gotten annoyed with me for it on several occasions when I did that even with plenty of space on the path.
I hope everyone here who feels stuck as that friend finds their copilot in life, and/or learns to appreciate the social down time it can provide.
1
1
u/Sad_Variant 1d ago
It's how they take it for granted that pisses me off tho. Like in the sidewalk and in life in general.
1
u/DisputabIe_ 1d ago
the OP _ValePetite is a bot
1
u/Exact-Difference-422 1d ago
Some of you were never the one friend that didn't pair up with each other in the group, then had to watch all of them break up and was the only one left in the group.
1
u/augustrem 1d ago
Wait, I always volunteer to be that person because I have more situational awareness and notice people coming from the other side.
Is this something to feel bad about?
1
u/cursed_tomatoes 1d ago
I'm already walking behind regardless of the sidewalk size. That is this? Amateur hour?
1
u/WriggleNightbug 1d ago
How does one learn to be the first or second friend?
1
u/PinkFlurffyUnicorns 1d ago
you can't really force it. you can only find closer friends/learn to become more confident in general so people want to talk to you.
1
u/Exotic_Call_7427 23h ago
Aah, the weird human wish to occupy the entire damn sidewalk as if nobody else needs to traverse on it
1
u/Pleasant_Network3986 22h ago
uh....maybe not walking, but it hella hurts to be running with your xc teammates (notice how i didn't say friends) and they all surge ahead at once in one line and all of a sudden they're 5-6 wide in front of you and you're alone in the back.
1
u/thedaymanahaha 22h ago
I always walked behind to guard my friends in front because I can also see in front of them snd they cant see behind
1
1
1
u/DoughnutSecure7038 11h ago
Bro try being the third family member lmaoooo this was me with my mom and brother growing up
1
u/Niveker14 10h ago
If there's one thing I've learned from being that third friend and not being that third friend, its that: if you're in the back of the group it's because you put yourself there.
1
1
u/jaguarjuice3 8h ago
One time i was fourth-wheeling my boyfriend, my best friend, and her boyfriend. Felt so awesome! Walking behind the three of them on the sidewalk:)!
1
1
u/Kelly4President 2h ago
I was so often the third friend that I’m now conditioned to back behind, get in the backseat, etc. I’ve just accepted my place in life lol
1
1
u/TallulahBob 1d ago
I was always the ice cream cone friend. There when you needed me to hold you up, only ever called/invited when “needed”, but the second the ice cream is gone I’m discarded. It took a long time for me to accept that and move on from that type of group.
1
u/Hugsomebunnies 23h ago
Ah, yes, me too. When I was growing up, I thought it was because the other people in the group didn't value as much so I was always expected to trail behind, but as an adult I think maybe they were just oblivious dumbasses.
0
0
u/Total-Strategy1331 1d ago
Why would you walk behind? Walk ahead, be a leader, don’t take that disrespect lol.
1
u/Unlikely_Chemical517 23h ago
Until you look back and noticed they went around a corner and didn't say anything
0
751
u/IWouldntIn1981 1d ago
Ugh... I am that friend, always have been.
Just last weekend I sat in the middle at the bar... it threw everything off and no one had a good time, except for me, Mr. Popular for an hour.