r/sixwordstories 6h ago

Masculinity isn't toxic. Your agenda is.

16 Upvotes

296 comments sorted by

11

u/Itchy-Technician-433 4h ago

Masculinity is different than "toxic masculinity"

(Also 6 words)

34

u/Mission_Mud429 4h ago

How come none of you know how to write a story that is fun or entertaining?

-10

u/Nvr1toPanic 3h ago

I took a glance at your contributions to six words, post some, start a trend

5

u/ComprehensiveGap285 3h ago

that's not what the sub is called

3

u/Dangerous_Suit_3099 1h ago

Incels blow goats all the time

-5

u/mxlplyx2173 4h ago

Go for it! Show us how it's done!

9

u/Mission_Mud429 2h ago

I just think it's bizarre that all of these are weird gender statements. It's sad.

-1

u/mxlplyx2173 2h ago

You see it as sad because of how your life is/went. Not saying I know anything about you but that's not where my brain goes when I see something like this, because of how my life was/went. We see things through our own lens and people who see sad usually are.

u/Ok-Loss7948 50m ago

Dude, this is very very obviously a political post with a non-veiled agenda. What exactly do you see it as

0

u/Mission_Mud429 2h ago

Cool I guess. That pretty much meant nothing.

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26

u/GladClock2212 5h ago

Toxic masculinity is the idea that expressing emotions isn't "masculine" that being open to exploring the sides of your personality that society deems 'feminine' is not 'masculine' and being confined to strict gender roles that mentally and physically harm men, that's toxic masculinity. It often looks like the Alpha Male type but it can look like other things. It can be the guy that doesn't go to the doctor because it seems weak, or the guy who kills himself at work because he thinks men are providers and not nurturers, or the guy who thinks that anger is the only acceptable emotion to express. That's all toxic masculinity. It hurts everybody but it hurts guys the most.

-1

u/[deleted] 3h ago

[deleted]

8

u/Greedy-Win-4880 3h ago

It's not "incredible control over emotions", these are the same guys that will punch their fucking fist through the wall when their team loses. Men commit almost all violent crime and they have extremely high suicide rates because so many of them refuse to actually deal with their emotions.

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0

u/Good_Ad8057 2h ago

You have zero clue what you’re talking about.

7

u/RottedHuman 4h ago

Masculinity isn’t toxic, toxic masculinity is toxic.

6

u/towergod5000 3h ago

Masculinity isn’t toxic. The men masquerading as masculine are very toxic.

18

u/flamingeyebrows 4h ago

'Toxic masculinity' doesnt mean all masculinity is toxic. Why would it.

-7

u/Kaisha001 2h ago

Because that was the reason feminists coined the term. Notice how there is no equivalent 'toxic femininity'...

7

u/CemeteryFieldOps 2h ago

The term "toxic masculinity" was coined in the 1980s by psychologist and Mythopoetic Men's Movement figure Shepherd Bliss, a man.

-5

u/Kaisha001 2h ago

And since co-opted by every feminist and activist. The media throws it around like a given, APA has guidelines on it. The best they have for 'toxic femininity' is a throw-away opinion piece that just glazes women.

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2

u/HexicDragon 2h ago

You don't believe people can exhibit toxic anti-social behavior in the name of femininity?

You realize everything doesn't need to be tit for tat. Toxic masculinity is a huge societal problem. If you feel more drawn to discussing or countering toxic femininity, then go ahead. But you don't need to pretend two issues existing cancel one another out.

1

u/Kaisha001 2h ago

You don't believe people can exhibit toxic anti-social behavior in the name of femininity?

That is literally the exact opposite of what I said...

1

u/HexicDragon 2h ago

Yeah, I was a bit sarcastic pointing out the ridiculousness of your comment attacking the concept of toxic masculinity. You say there's no equivalent to toxic femininity when there literally is.

You can raise awareness and discuss toxic femininity without attacking the existence of toxic masculinity. Just like how someone can advocate for policies that protect all citizens without attacking people who say "Black Lives Matter" because they're a member of a community disproportionately on the receiving end of injustice.

2

u/Kaisha001 1h ago

You can raise awareness and discuss toxic femininity without attacking the existence of toxic masculinity.

No you can't, OP proved that.

Just like how someone can advocate for policies that protect all citizens without attacking people who say "Black Lives Matter" because they're a member of a community disproportionately on the receiving end of injustice.

No you can't.

In both cases all you can do is parrot exactly what the activists demand you to say. Anything else is blasphemy and you will be attacked. Case in point.

0

u/HexicDragon 1h ago

Yes you can? Believe it or not, plenty of people who believe black lives matter also support universal human rights, universal worker rights, public safety generally, public services for all, etc. Plenty of people like me who are aware of toxic masculinity are also aware of toxic femininity.

You and OP aren't being attacked for raising awareness of toxic femininity. OP is getting negative feedback for saying toxic masculinity doesn't even exist. You're getting negative feedback for also invalidating the existence of toxic masculinity and presenting a false dichotomy between it and toxic femininity.

1

u/Alec_Ich 2h ago

Can you give some examples of what you would consider toxic femininity

1

u/Kaisha001 2h ago

Bullying, lying, controlling, emotional manipulation, virtue signaling, professional victim...

Course if you go by the APA's opinion its 'being so amazing that you put everyone's priorities over your own...'. Because women can do no wrong...

2

u/Alec_Ich 2h ago

Okay but everything you just listed are both feminine and masculine. I'm talking about specifically feminine traits that can be toxic

1

u/Kaisha001 2h ago

All the 'traits' listed under APA's definition of 'traditional masculinity ideology' (aka toxic masculinity) could be both masculine and feminine...

0

u/Alec_Ich 1h ago

Suppressing your emotions as to not appear weak is very much a masculine trait.

1

u/Ok_Knee2784 2h ago

Dated quite a few. Insufferable.

u/Steals_Your_Thunder_ 34m ago

It's so funny to read this kind of insufferable whining while never, ever having struggled to navigate the concepts of masculinity, toxic masculinity and feminism. I've never been called toxic for the traditionally masculine aspects of my personality, largely because I'm not treating other people like fucking shit while I'm doing it. Similarly, almost all of the people in my life would describe themselves as feminist and yet somehow don't resemble anything like the man-hating, vindictive harpies you guys make them out to be.

In fact, the moment you remove yourself from the red pill, manosphere and incel infested echo chambers of the internet, you tend to find that people are able to live happy, normal lives, enjoying masculine interests, gendered sports and generally coexisting without feeling constantly oppressed by this fictional version of feminism you guys describe as omnipresent.

0

u/Think-Location3830 1h ago

I would say “pick me” types. As an example.

1

u/Alec_Ich 1h ago

Speak on that

1

u/HonestlyKindaOverIt 1h ago

Accusing women of being “pick me”s is misogynistic, so I guess the accusation is a good example of toxic femininity. Being well informed and educated enough to go against the grain, is not.

1

u/Ok_Knee2784 2h ago

There is now.

1

u/OwnLife9448 2h ago

There is: hysteria

15

u/Individualchaotin 5h ago

Ideas of masculinity can be toxic.

5

u/umlaute 3h ago

Forcing someone to exhibit or expecting them to have certain traits solely due to their sex is inherently toxic. 

4

u/GreenBlueStar 4h ago

Yeah so does ideas of feminity

1

u/Jealous-Audience816 3h ago

Perfect comment, damn

34

u/CarelessSeries1596 5h ago

Masculinity isn’t automatically toxic. Calling yourself a dominate alpha male is a pretty good example of toxic masculinity though.

7

u/normal_hombre 4h ago

Is this n American thing? In Europe, I've never heard a single man say this, regardless of their nationality.

1

u/glitterbaby95 2h ago

I’ve absolutely heard British men say this

-2

u/Big_Psychology_3 4h ago

Never even heard this in the USA. It’s some silly contrived example.

-3

u/Nvr1toPanic 4h ago

Wow. That'd be great if it doesn't exist. Maybe i just made the term up and nobody's really mentioned the term for the last 10 plus years.

7

u/philosophyclown 5h ago

Haha. It is an excellent example of someone being a clown 🤡. If you are an alpha male you don’t need to say it or do things to make others think you are masculine. It will be apparent. And you don’t need to put others down either to make yourself look better.

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2

u/mrkpxx 4h ago

There are men who are willing to take responsibility; why is that bad? You don't have to accept it.

4

u/BladdermirPutin87 4h ago

Where did anybody say that men taking responsibility is bad?

1

u/Nvr1toPanic 1h ago

Agreed, mrKPXX

0

u/CarelessSeries1596 3h ago

I really don’t understand your comment. No where has anyone talked about men taking responsibility. What are men taking responsibility for?

1

u/mrkpxx 2h ago

Because masculinity represents a specific kind of responsibility.

1

u/CarelessSeries1596 1h ago

Being a human requires the same.

1

u/mrkpxx 1h ago

Men and women are different.

0

u/Ok-Method-8045 2h ago

No one calls this themselves in the real world. Stop living chronically online.

1

u/CarelessSeries1596 1h ago

I said that because OP has it in his profile. That’s all.

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18

u/mochitochini 5h ago

Masculinity is leading, nurturing, protecting.

Not selfishness, aggression, oppression and control.

3

u/Elmer_Fudd01 4h ago

Thank you

11

u/Pleasant-Pop-5184 5h ago

Masculinity being associated with leading is propaganda

1

u/OneMagician289 5h ago

why

3

u/Exceon 3h ago

Because it implies that it is not masculine to follow others, or have moments of weakness where one might be too tired to lead, for example.

-2

u/philosophyclown 5h ago

How is masculinity being associated with being a good leader propaganda?

16

u/Dddddd92 5h ago

Because leading is not related to one gender. Both men and women can be good leaders.

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5

u/Impossible_Still5452 4h ago

Some of the best leaders I've ever had were woman.

I wouldn't describe them as masculine.

1

u/Nvr1toPanic 3h ago

Thank you- Impossible still- I've worked with and for some incredible women. Strength in women impresses me. Not intimidates. No different than strengths in men impresses and doesn't intimidate me.

4

u/Pleasant-Pop-5184 5h ago

Because being a good leader has nothing to do with gender and is not an inherently masculine trait

-5

u/Actual-Woodpecker-95 4h ago

It’s a common masculine trait. Not a common trait of women. Generally, Women also like to be led in dating

1

u/Pleasant-Pop-5184 4h ago

Women are the ones that raise children?

0

u/Actual-Woodpecker-95 4h ago

I’m not arguing that they lead children. Not exactly equivalent to leading adults though

3

u/Pleasant-Pop-5184 4h ago

I mean the scientific studies done found that women rate much higher than men in 9/12 of the leadership qualities they tested for, and I tend to trust them over someone on the interest

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0

u/Nvr1toPanic 1h ago

Imagine, IMAGINE how onesided and sexist that statement is. Not a sole except the OP ...... myself.....commented Men are the breadwinners!!! Hmm. I raised 2 successful daughters and have 2 grandaughters. Oh. Oh yeah. Almost forgot. So did my wife. She also worked.

-3

u/mochitochini 5h ago

😮‍💨🙄 then.. say stability, guiding. Whatever tickles your fancy.

3

u/Pleasant-Pop-5184 5h ago

None of those things are inherently masculine lol

4

u/November-8485 4h ago

Nor is confidence. Or any other trait. In fact no trait is inherently male or female. But as a society we do have expectations for participation in society and what it is to behave like a good member and a bad member of society.

So yes, it’s ok for good traits to be attributed to what it means to be masculine or feminine.

0

u/Nvr1toPanic 4h ago

Thank you November

4

u/mochitochini 4h ago

Can we please for once not make this a toxic gender war thing? I didn't say it's EXCLUSIVELY to men. I said this is what true masculinity is supposed to be, and not the clownery of wannabe alpha males.

0

u/Nvr1toPanic 4h ago

Backtracking to "wannabes". Noted

-1

u/mrkpxx 4h ago
  • Protection
  • Resources
  • Humour
  • Social Proof and Status elevation
  • Leadership
  • Physical Strength
  • Fatherhood
  • Emotional Containment
  • Sexual Polarity
  • Discipline and Accountability

2

u/Pleasant-Pop-5184 4h ago

There’s no way you just said humour is a masculine trait. That’s how I know not to take anything you say seriously.

0

u/Nvr1toPanic 4h ago

You're half right. It can be a trait of both.

-3

u/Big_Psychology_3 4h ago

These are female chauvinists who reject attributing anything positive to masculinity. In their worldview, masculinity has only negative attributes, no positives.

3

u/November-8485 4h ago

That’s a wildly presumptuous over generalization.

2

u/Big_Psychology_3 4h ago

Then tell us - what are some positive traits of masculinity?

2

u/November-8485 4h ago

Action, strength. Realistically they’re positive traits whether belonging to a man or woman.

0

u/CemeteryFieldOps 2h ago

What traits are we talking about? Physical, characteristic, or personality?

2

u/philosophyclown 5h ago

That is toxic masculinity in a nutshell yes. Oppression and violence

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0

u/normal_hombre 4h ago

Protection and control are closely intertwined. In a real world setting there is no difference, a "protective" man will always tell a woman what to do or not do.

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3

u/Perfect_Valuable_938 3h ago

Anything can be toxic, it just depends on dosage.

7

u/CTGamerBear 5h ago

The only people who make statements like the OP are the same people who show signs of toxic masculinity

2

u/Nvr1toPanic 4h ago

That's a stretch. People commenting they've never even heard of TxcMscy, and your making groups of them.

2

u/CTGamerBear 3h ago

You should also stop having chatgpt try to get an analysis of a post because taking a looking through, the majority of people are acknowledging Toxic Masculinity exists, but not all masculinity is toxic

The whole trope of "alpha males" is entirely toxic by the very idea that there are some males higher than others. That is toxic

you call yourself an alpha male in your profile - hence you are toxic.

u/Whole_Secretary5573 29m ago

Who has to abbreviate toxic masculinity? How often are you talking about it? 

0

u/mrkpxx 4h ago

There are men who are willing to take responsibility; why is that bad? You don't have to accept it.

2

u/CTGamerBear 4h ago

Yeah, how about you define what that "responsibility" is

Op by their own admission calls themselves an "alpha-male" which goes to the whole BS that they are the *true* masculine men and others have just been pussified. Yeah, that's toxic masculinity.

2

u/Nvr1toPanic 3h ago

My profile is accurate and lived by at the time of writing it. My circle is a very broad, open minded mix of people who enjoys each other's company. I hate drama. I hate gossip. I don't make judgements about others. I despise condescension. That said, I'm going to add hating condescension from assumed opinions not facts. That will weed out many of you to show your true colors.

3

u/CTGamerBear 3h ago

Please stop using chat GPT to write things for you.

6

u/I_Went_Full_WSB 4h ago

No one said masculinity is toxic. Be less desperate to be a victim.

-3

u/Actual-Woodpecker-95 4h ago

Probably the dumbest comment here. Just look through this thread once.

2

u/I_Went_Full_WSB 4h ago

The fact that I called out their incredibly stupid lie is dumb?

1

u/Actual-Woodpecker-95 4h ago

So i guess you’re not even gonna read this sub.

0

u/[deleted] 4h ago

[deleted]

2

u/Educational_Map_7000 4h ago

Bad behavior is…

3

u/sfaviator 4h ago

At the heart of it Masculinity is about protecting others emotionally or physically. Some people think the only way to protect something is to have absolute control over it and that’s toxic.

4

u/darchangel89a 4h ago

Nobody ever said masculinity is toxic. Just that there are certain aspects of masculinity that are toxic. Such as men being told that they cant cry, or show any emotion other than anger.

1

u/Arguz_ 3h ago

That’s not masculinity

1

u/darchangel89a 2h ago

It is 100% something that society teaches men from birth. A man cries, and gets told to "man up". He shows emotion and gets called a sissy. If he is a stay at home dad, hes told hes not a "real man". These are all examples of toxic masculinity.

0

u/Arguz_ 1h ago

I don’t live in such a society.

1

u/darchangel89a 1h ago

So you dont live on Earth?

7

u/ButcbMasculinity 6h ago

You're an example of toxic masculinity.

3

u/Nvr1toPanic 5h ago

I'm whatever you want to believe i am .

1

u/mrkpxx 4h ago

There are men who are willing to take responsibility; why is that bad? You don't have to accept it.

2

u/ButcbMasculinity 4h ago

I don't understand why you are saying this to me. OP isn't taking responsibility for anything.

2

u/mrkpxx 4h ago

Because masculinity represents a specific kind of responsibility.

3

u/ButcbMasculinity 4h ago

No it doesn't.

1

u/Nvr1toPanic 4h ago

How did you ever come up with a notion that I am not taking responsibility for anything , in six words? I'll wait

2

u/Dddddd92 5h ago

Modern masculinity is fragile and toxic. Because what do you mean your masculinity is affected by how other people act around you

0

u/Big_Psychology_3 4h ago

A fragile and toxic person can be a man or woman, Einstein. Don’t peddle your misandry here

2

u/Dddddd92 4h ago

When have you ever seen fragile feminity Einstein?

It's not misandry. It's a fact.

-1

u/Big_Psychology_3 4h ago

You claiming that a woman can’t be toxic or fragile. This is the definition of misandry and female chauvinism.

1

u/Dddddd92 4h ago

No i said fragile femininity does not exist. It's not misandry it's a fact.

Like men say "I don't feel like a man if my wife does xyz". femininity is never like that. There's nothing that you can do to make me un-feminine.

I hope your brain works to understand this.

1

u/Actual-Woodpecker-95 4h ago

That’s plainly false. “Fragile femininity” can show up when a woman feels threatened or demeaned because she isn’t seen as feminine enough. People just don’t attack femininity so the term isn’t used. For example, being mistaken for a man, having a partner earn less, being infertile, aging, or not meeting beauty standards. Femininity can absolutely depend on social validation, just like masculinity can. Your conviction doesn’t prove the concept doesn’t exist. Moreso that it isn’t used as a term.

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1

u/GuardSubstantial676 3h ago

Confidence not equal to toxicity

1

u/SaltEntertainment943 3h ago

Masculinity can be healthy too

1

u/TrainerAggressive721 3h ago

Not everything needs a villain

1

u/Extinction-Events 3h ago

Toxic masculinity doesn’t imply masculinity is toxic. It refers to toxic behaviours men may feel pressured to adhere to in the pursuit of masculinity.

Being masculine and enjoying traditionally masculine things isn’t toxic. The message that men need to ignore all sorrow or pain in order to be a man is toxic.

1

u/Unable_Temperature22 3h ago

Being masculine isn’t something to apologize for

1

u/Hot_Cancel_5124 2h ago

Toxic people are toxic, pretty simple

1

u/National-Cupcake-836 2h ago

Masculinity didn’t write the agenda

1

u/ozzalot 2h ago

Hammers aren't toxic intrinsically, but they sure are when there's a psychopath wielding it smashing people's heads.

1

u/Different_Row1958 2h ago

Strength and kindness can coexist

1

u/CemeteryFieldOps 2h ago

The term "toxic masculinity" was coined in the 1980s by psychologist and Mythopoetic Men's Movement figure Shepherd Bliss, a man.

Toxic masculinity isn't stating that masculinity is toxic. Someone else here explained it correctly, so I won't.

Some of you need to research things. You are misinformed.

1

u/WoodenAssist7642 2h ago

What's our agenda? To not want to live in fear of those testosterone fueled beasts called men?

1

u/Prestigious-Error355 2h ago

Being confident isn’t toxic

1

u/Wild_Ant5797 2h ago

The real issue is bad behavior

1

u/No_Chip_6412 2h ago

Masculinity is fine, misery isn’t

1

u/HexicDragon 2h ago

Classic straw man. Virtually nobody says MASCULINITY is toxic. Masculinity CAN be toxic, and "toxic masculinity" refers to anti-social toxic behavior people do in the name of masculinity.

1

u/AdWooden9170 2h ago

I bet your dick is massive.

1

u/Nvr1toPanic 2h ago

AdWoodie... Grab a mirror and some cheap mascara. You'll know

1

u/Murky_Toe_4717 2h ago

Toxic masculinity is toxic. Non toxic masculinity isn’t. Though personally I find effeminate and pretty men far more attractive/interesting personally.

1

u/kittenTakeover 2h ago

Toxic masculinity is thinking that in order to be a man you can't show emotions, have to be sexist against women, have to dominate everyone, can't apologize because it shows weakness, can't show love for fellow men because someone might think you're gay, can't go to the doctor because it shows weakness, can't ask for help because it shows weakness, etc.

1

u/Think-Location3830 1h ago

Man. Thats not what toxic masculinity is. We really do need to bring back critical thinking and literacy in schools.

1

u/plastroncafe 1h ago

I guess all hats are baseball hats. Or all trucks are garbage trucks.

0

u/Nvr1toPanic 1h ago

Plaztroncafe. That's deep. Prolific. Unmatched

1

u/Chocolate_76 1h ago

At this point I hate the label of masculinity

1

u/Nvr1toPanic 1h ago

Poor AdWOODIE. Bashful

1

u/Desperadoscress 1h ago

People who say masculinity is toxic are the one who rely on it the most for their life style

1

u/HonestlyKindaOverIt 1h ago

Love the comments proving your point, OP. Peak Reddit.

u/Odd_Road6150 31m ago

No, masculinity is indeed toxic. I'm a 54 year old autistic man who has studied this his whole life.

u/Whole_Secretary5573 31m ago

Don't drink the toxic water.

"water isn't toxic" 

Op

u/notokintheslightest 14m ago

Nobody said masculinity is toxic.

Toxic masculinity is toxic, not masculinity period.

1

u/Jumpy_Cap_2361 6h ago

What if my agenda is doing toxic males?

0

u/Nvr1toPanic 6h ago

You do you. You do me.

1

u/SvitlanaLeo 4h ago

Well, feminists do not say masculinity is toxic, they say it can be toxic. That some forms of it is toxic.

1

u/Loquat_Natural 3h ago

Without the US we wouldn't have to put up with so much shit in here.

1

u/Most-Sail-9957 3h ago

There’s a difference between masculinity and insecurity

1

u/MDLmanager 3h ago

No one ever said masculinity is toxic. "Toxic masculinity" is a subset of masculinity that absolutely is toxic. Not all masculinity is toxic but toxic masculinity is, is kind of a all thumbs are fingers but not all fingers are thumbs situation.

1

u/Good_Ad8057 3h ago

Nope. Also there’s a difference between masculinity and toxic masculinity. Given you don’t know that, I’m guessing you’re on the toxic side.

0

u/[deleted] 4h ago

[deleted]

1

u/Otarmichael 4h ago

It’s okay to be a nun. 

1

u/ElementalPink12 3h ago

Then go do it

1

u/Otarmichael 3h ago

I guess I need to mansplain how nuns work, too. Sheesh. 

1

u/[deleted] 3h ago

[deleted]

1

u/Otarmichael 3h ago

And you might find peace once you finally visit a convent. I think you’ll fit in nicely. 

1

u/Big_Psychology_3 4h ago

Open misandrists. Such haters are so normalized today

0

u/[deleted] 3h ago

[deleted]

1

u/Big_Psychology_3 3h ago

I reported this hate speech

1

u/ElementalPink12 3h ago

Good for you

0

u/mrkpxx 4h ago

Feminism is fucking grotesque.

0

u/mike-rodik 4h ago

Toxic masculinity is not a thing, only toxic individuals.

Op is correct

0

u/twinters01 2h ago

No one has ever said "masculinity is toxic". They've criticized very specifically "toxic masculinity".

-1

u/OrdinaryAvailable708 5h ago

You’re right.

The modern idea of masculinity is toxic however. There’s more to being a man than liking money and pussy, only caring about yourself. I like to try and remind people that both men and women are under some form of attack via media consumption. There is agendas for both sides being manufactured and distributed.

2

u/Big_Psychology_3 4h ago

A fragile and toxic person can be a man or woman, Einstein. Don’t peddle your misandry here

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1

u/Schuy_View0022 4h ago edited 4h ago

It goes beyond the media, media is just a way to deliver the sociopolitical… “framework”.

1

u/Actual-Woodpecker-95 4h ago

Imagine engaging with so much anti men content that this is what you think the general man cares about

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0

u/Adventurous_Foot7681 1h ago

Talking about toxic masculinity doesn't mean that masculinity is toxic, please learn to read.

-1

u/[deleted] 4h ago

[deleted]

4

u/I_Went_Full_WSB 4h ago

Gets what, brain damage?

1

u/Schuy_View0022 3h ago

No propaganda… many are oblivious and ignorant, clearly.

-1

u/Adventurous_Bike7638 4h ago

Exactly, confidence isn’t the problem

-1

u/DistributionFine9811 4h ago

Facts, toxic behavior is toxic