I feel like I need to rant because i’m mad and grossed out but i matched with a guy on a datingapp and he wanted to “compliment” me by saying that i look beautiful and look 10 years younger than i am. Mind you, i’m only 27 and i definitely look like my age. So a man in his 30s loves that i look like a 17 years old in his eyes?

I’ve seen this so much already that women after 25 are considered old by some men. I’m so done with it.

The restaurant I (24F) was eating at today was so packed that I guess the staff must’ve gotten permission from their manager to ask first if they could seat strangers with each other. They probably wanted to reduce the wait time for the people sitting in the lobby. I was eating alone at a table that could seat six people, so as usual, I guess the solo diner’s expected to make room for groups.

The waitress was really sweet and looked stressed out because of the long wait time, so when she asked me if I was okay with letting this one group of men sit at my table since it was so packed, I froze up for a minute because I didn’t want to give her trouble. I felt bad for her because I know how stressful it is in customer service when you can’t give customers what they want when they want it, so I shrugged and then said, “Sure, go ahead, I was just leaving anyway.” I wasn’t lying per se since I was eating dessert, and luckily, since I paid before I ate, I would be free to go.

Well, what do you think happened? The group of six guys who seemed to be around my age took their seats and started cussing, making crude jokes, acting disruptive, and being weirdos. When one of them started hitting on me, I just got up and left. I felt like flipping him off with the middle finger for calling me a gendered slur, but didn’t want to escalate it.

The reason I put “TIFU” is because I have a bad habit of letting other people do whatever they want because I don’t like to say ‘no.’ I genuinely didn’t want to make the waitress’s job harder by saying ‘no’ when the customers wanted a table. Part of me also wonders if I did something wrong by breaking some unspoken social norm about groups not sitting with you when you’re eating alone. To be honest, I didn’t expect my gender to be an issue when they sat down at the table. In fact, I thought they were just going to mind their own business and use civil inattention just like me, but apparently not.

I wouldn’t do that shit if I had to share a table with a man sitting alone in a diner because it’s crowded. I’d just keep talking with my group and give the stranger space because I don’t know them and don’t want to make them uneasy. Why was that a foreign concept to those guys? I don’t get it.

I wanted to post this in the TIFU subreddit but I didn’t want to trigger some people. I figured this community would understand more. Also, in my defense, I didn’t have control over how packed the restaurant got. I didn’t pick a table with six seats just to be greedy. I sat there because why the heck not? All the other tables that had two seats were taken.

I’m honestly just looking for some support from other women right now, especially if anyone has been through something similar or knows someone who has.

I recently found out that the man I was supposed to marry was cheating on me while I was pregnant with his baby. Dating apps, sleeping with women, pursuing other women, talking about women with his friends, all of it. He even suggested the name of one of the women he was cheating with when we were picking names for our baby, which is something I still genuinely cannot wrap my head around.

The pregnancy ended and was extremely traumatic for me, and I really don’t want to get into the loss itself. I’ve also found out that the cheating continued in different ways afterward.

I think I’m just coming here because other women feel like the safest place for me right now. Which is kind of ironic because after going through his phone, the amount of women who knew about me and still encouraged or participated in it was honestly astronomical lol. That has been its own really upsetting thing to process.

But I still have faith in women, so hi. If you’ve survived something like this, I would really love to hear from you. I feel very alone right now.

This is inspired by a story from my friend I saw yesterday. She and her new squeeze were waiting to have sex, as they're in their 30s but are trying to approach relationships differently. They've been dating for a few months now, things are going well, and so they finally gave in and "broke the seal" lol her words, not mine.

But she was talking about how it's been a few times now so she's gotta start figuring out a birth control plan since Plan B after every time is not fun, or sustainable. Apparently her last experience with an IUD was not great on her moods, mental health, and period symptoms. She'll make him wear condoms going forward, but that's not always enough and birth control adding peace of mind is needed in this case.

I just feel like this is such a common thing. The weight and burden of preventing pregnancy (which is caused by TWO people), always falls on the woman. It's so much more rare to hear about guys even pitching in on that effort, or at least being chill with condom use. They get the easy pass all the time, while we wreck our bodies to prevent pregnancies. But god forbid you suggest a man takes some of that responsibility into his own hands, including a vasectomy.

My mom is also in the dating pool, and this is a grief of hers as well. Men are so quick to reject the idea of a vasectomy, even the ones that she meets - in their 40s-50s, no longer wanting to have kids. Like bro. Fkin snip it. You'll be fine.

For their entire lives, women are just expected to bear the entire burden of pregnancy prevention. No matter what it does to our hormones, bodies, mental health, etc. they have to initiate the "talk" about contraception, combat condom pushback, all that so he can get some and probably do a mid job at attending to a woman's sexual needs anyways.

Just tired and venting about this issue being so one sided, when pregnancy is a two sided responsibility. The normalcy of this is what's upsetting, yk?

for context i’m 18F and been eaten out on 3 separate occasions by 3 different guys.

the first time was the best, but it just felt like nothing but warmth.

the second time i was drunk and it felt like absolutely nothing and i also wasn’t that attracted to the guy so i chalked it up to that being the reason i couldn’t get off.

however a few days ago (about 10 months after guy #2), every time he went down on me it just was really uncomfortable and a little painful. i’m also a D1 gooner and use my vibrator almost every day, including that morning. so idk if i was just extra sensitive or if i’ve fucked up my nerve endings lol. i also find my urethra gets a little sensitive after using my vibrator. (i try to take a week long break from my vibrator if i know i’ll be hooking up w someone, but this time caught be by surprise.)

i’ve always wanted to get eaten out but now i really don’t care for it even though id love to actually feel something while it’s happening…

does anyone else have a similar experience? or any tips?

CW: Mentions of SA

I, 17F, find myself becoming more scared of men day by day. Not exactly in the sense that I'll run away or start screaming If I happen to see one in public (although, if I were alone at night, I'd definitely take caution). More in the sense that, from what I've seen, most men have an underlying maliciousness that they're either comfortable exposing online behind some random 'user7291718' account, or a maliciousness that exposes itself later in the course of a relationship.

Regarding the online side, I've seen men insert themselves into conversations of women sharing their horrific experiences caused by men. I've seen men invalidate these experiences, demean them, say the woman 'deserved it' for whatever reason or 'it's not all men'. The latter is particularly jarring to me; of course it's not all men. everyone knows that. But the average person meets/ interacts with around 40,000 men over the course of their lifetime, and I can assure there are plenty more than 40,000 hateful, misogynistic men making themselves known on the internet. So, yes, there is a mathematical chance that a majority of the men someone meets in their lifetime do possess such resentfulness, particularly against women. How do I know if a man I open the door for, who makes me coffee, who I might pass isn't the street, isn't online telling women to 🔑 themselves, threatening r*pe or worse?

This unknown is what has ruined many people's lives. I've seen thousands of women engage in relationships with men who appeared entirely normal - 'one of the good ones'. Ah. That is until you discover your husband of 50 years who you've loved dearly has been s\*x trafficking you to other men in your sleep (Gisele Pelicot's experience). Until your loving boyfriend of a year starts beating you up in a drunken haze because his favourite sports team lost a random game. Until you reach puberty and your father can't distinguish between his own daughter and a s\*x object. Millions of women have suffered experiences like these at the hands of men. And when we beg and plead for men to address things, we are met with defensiveness and retaliation. We're simply telling the reality of the world we live in.

I'm very thankful to live in a country where men and women can walk on the street semi-equals. I know that many women across the world suffer from much harsher patriarchal oppression (for example, Afghanistan), and have s\*xual violence used against them as tools of war (DRC). What's scary is that many men amongst the western societies we praise for not being like those, would happily commit the same acts if it was socially acceptable.

I'm not trying to come at all men. There's a reason I've consistently said 'many', 'majority', instead of all. I simply want to know how I can find someone who won't assault me on the first date or quite literally kill me later on. And please, for the love of God, don't say 'Just avoid the people who seem sketchy'. They *don't* seem sketchy. That's how they have the opportunity to do these horrible things in the first place: They gain people's trust. So yes, I have a reason to be paranoid. I simply want to know the indicators for in which situations I can let my guard down a little and open up to a man. I want to date, and I think I want to get married, but from what I've seen, in a room of 10 heterosexual women, 2 are in a happy relationship, 6 have been emotionally traumatised by previous partners and 4 have been either killed or 🍇. Please. I just want to navigate my love life without worrying something *literally* horrible (not just a few tears or a break up) would happen to me. How do I know he's the right one - not just for the first year, or the first ten years, but forever?

Hi! I (29F) currently work in an office as a Program Coordinator, but I find the work to be soul sucking (as we all do 🥲) and I want to change my career. I live in Vancouver, BC if that’s helpful

I’ve recently discovered that I have a passion for working with/helping women specifically. My first thought was to become a naturopath that specializes in women’s hormones/health, but my partner and I are planning to start trying for a baby as early as next year so it feels like too big of a commitment to commit to naturopath school for 4 years

I’m wondering if anyone has recommendations for jobs where I can work with 95% women - preferably something health-based and not beauty-based.

Here are a couple careers I’ve looked at to give you an idea:

- naturopath
- doula
- holistic nutritionist

Even better if you work in a women-based career and can tell me about your experience!!

i know i'm not saying anything new here but it's never fails to astound me how men think they are are just entitled to pretty women. just because they want them.

this is the equivalent of going to a porsche dealership, lusting after 911, and asking the dealership to give it to you...just because. just because you want it. That's it. No other reason. Not because you have the money to pay for it. Not because do a promotional exchange for the car (eg, be a spokesperson, film a video promoting the car, etc). You should just be allowed to have the car because you want it.

Astounding.

Okay so coming to yall as a 22 year old woman: is it normal for my pants after the day to kind of smell like pee?

What I mean is that after a general day of doing my thing I come home and my underwear is often kinda damp and I kinda smell like piss. Always, and it’s embarrassing because of how quickly I go through underwear and being unable to rewear pants a lot of days.

I can’t tell if this is like normal? I feel like I do a lot more laundry because of it but i can’t tell and I’m too embarrassed to ask for help.

I shower in the morning, I wipe when in the toilet front to back every time and try and make sure I’m not still wet. Occasionally I do the classic run into the bathroom and barely get my pants off deal but that like once a week maybe.

Advice?

Okay, some background. I was on anxiety and depression meds for years and it numbed my body and killed my sex drive. I also gained 100 pounds! But, I moved out of state, and my doctor saw right away that the meds were bad for me, and advised me to get off of them. So, I did. I have never felt better. I have lost those 100 pounds, and naturally, I have my mojo back.

My husband seems to not appreciate my new found sexuality. He says he does not want to have sex with me (or anyone else, either, he says) but is secretly masturbating. When I called him on it, he says that masturbating does not imply he needs or wants sex. He says he has done it all of his life. Is it just some necessary biological release or something? I don’t get it.

I’m 26 and I’ve been single for about 4-5 years, and I know I have a chance at attracting someone, as I’ve always been told by variety of people that I’m am “beautiful” or “an attractive person”. Do I feel that way? Nope but sometimes I do. I know I can drawn men’s attention but that’s as far as it goes, I never have any guy come up to me or show genuine interest beyond throwing me a flirty look.
I’m very shy, like veeerrryyy shy, so it’s hard for me to put myself out there. I tend to do that self-sabotaging thing where I immediately look away when an attractive guy looks at me and I hate myself for it every single time.

So I’m living at my parent’s home while I work and save up so I can buy my own house. It’s been a long journey but I’m almost there. So the roofers show up yesterday and already my mom texts me and is like “look out the window, really cute guys your age” and she was right, but there is this one that keeps catching my eye and omg.
So there on their break and sitting in my parents drive way when I make my way outside to go to work as my car is parked at the end of the driveway. One of the guys notices me and raise his coffee to greet me, and then gives a nod to his friend who happens to be the one that I find very attractive. He turns around and says good morning to me and when I was sitting in my car warming it up, I looked up at them again and he raised his coffee at me in a greeting.
This is the problem here…..it’s nothing major, like he just acknowledged my existence but idk if my brain is taking a small thing and running a mile with it or if I’m actually picking up on something, either way I know how delusional and crazy I sound.

I hate spending money on pads, pain killers, panty liners, wipes and tampons every month. I hate getting cramps a few hours before my period starts. I hate that very first feeling of blood coming out of my vagina. I hate the wet feeling of a pad. I hate wearing tampons with the constant fear of me staining myself. I hate having to pee in public toilets when I’m on my period. I hate sleeping with a pad on. I hate waking up to a wet pad. I hate the smell of my period blood when I’m sitting on the toilet. I hate how painful my cramps can get. I hate the blood trickling down my ass crack. I hate wiping after I poo or pee when I’m on my period. I just hate it. I absolutely hate it.

Hi everyone

I just see the result and it really upset me...

My AHM is 0.32 and I'm 37...

What can I do to increase it? Is it possible?

I'm single and I know it shows health status for the future...

I'm very curious if there are any hygiene tips that aren't commonly mentioned or spoken about. I want to improve my hygiene and It seems like everything out there is some influencer being paid to promote a product or a fake doctor

I'm primarily worried about genitalia hygiene but other tips are very much wanted

I'm not generalising this, and I know that a lot of women have genuinely good friendships.

But I have always struggled to maintain good female friendships. I agree that when I was young, I was dumb and made dumb choices that did tarnish some friendships. I have always made sure not to repeat those mistakes.

Now that I'm in college, I still feel that female friendships are difficult for me. Everybody seems to hate everybody for no reason and is low-key jealous and threatened. When I succeed academically or look nice, they roll their eyes. I have noticed that even though I treat women with kindness, they hate me for no apparent reason. The friendship starts normally and sweetly, and I try my best to be a good friend, but then they start hating me and avoiding me. There have been many instances like this.

A lot of these friendships are also one-sided, where I'm the one putting in the effort to be present, while the other person just enjoys it and doesn't reciprocate. I'm so deprived of female friendships that I keep pouring into these friendships, but I receive nothing in return.

I'm an above-average-looking woman. I'm not bragging or seeking validation, but I do get decent attention. I can see that a lot of women feel threatened by me, and that's sad because I don't try to make them feel that way. They just feel threatened for no reason.

I do have guy friends, but I feel that their ideologies don't match with mine, and that leads to clashes. Men, in general, are also very critical, and emotionally bonding with them is a little difficult.

Can I get some advice on how to make better female friends, even though I feel like I really do everything I can?

I'm a senior in college, and I'm a virgin, and maybe I'm ovulating or something, but I want to sleep with this guy. I think I've let society and this religion that I've finally freed myself from convince me that I should wait till marriage, but I want to feel good, and I know that it would only be this guy I'd sleep with. I really want reasons that this isn't a bad idea. I know I won't catch feelings, and I do plan on being safe.

hello im 20F and i dont know if this is the right subreddit to post but if you have had a cystectomy or a c section, pls advise.

not pregnant nor had a baby but my OB cut me up like i had a c section because i had my ovarian cyst taken out. my aunt who had a c section before told me she couldn't walk properly for MONTHS and im so scared. i think im too young for this. i dont know what to do. i keep crying rn because im scared that if i move it might harm the incision. this is my first time going under operation and i have a belly binder on to help with the cut but im still scared.

pls advise how i can manage or how i can help make the cut heal faster.

im a working student and my job gave me 2 months to rest, my uni gave me 1 month.

thank you.

I've become weirdly skeptical of anything marketed as something that's going to simplify my life. Half the time it just becomes another thing that needs charging, cleaning, organizing, or finding a place for.

These days I appreciate things that quietly do their job without needing attention. Maybe that's part of getting older, but I'm becoming much harder to impress with anything that promises to completely change my routine.

Sometimes the simplest option really does end up being the one I stick with.

im 18F, everytime i post a video i get grown men commenting weird things or hating on me (not to mention the amount of message requests i get from them). i dont even try to present myself in a male gaze way, i just put on makeup and im always covered up. the thing is i have never had a boyfriend and i’ve never gotten attention from men, but when i post on tiktok suddenly all the weird and rude men comment.

I barely get women interacting with my videos, and I hate it. I try and dress up cute and do my makeup cute to fit the female gaze more, but it doesnt work.

i barely even get comments, and when i do its men being like this, it actually makes me feel horrid. what do i have to do so less men view my videos and more women do?

So I (F28) went to a bachelorette weekend party. I recently got married to my husband (M28), less than a year ago. I told him when we were planning that we might hire a stripper or go to a strip club. He didn’t say anything probably cuz he trusts me.

Then he got added to the groom’s bachelor party group. Who by the way is his friend only through my friend. And he told they’re just doing a one evening thing, which involves a strip club too. And my immediate reaction was I mean you don’t do anything there okay, just go for him (also cuz that’s what I was doing for my friend too- didn’t wanna be a spoil sport but wasn’t myself gonna do anything). He said no no anyway I don’t think clubs in Toronto are safe bla bla. So I thought ya we are clear we won’t get involved.

Cut to tonight when I got back. I told him what all we did showed him pics bla bla. Then he told about strip club. So apparently he went to those room thingy. And I was like taken aback. I said why did you go. He said “everyone was going”????????? By that time he didn’t realise my tone had changed. And he described as when he went inside she was doing whatever and said “you know you can touch me right”, and then he said to me that he realised it wasn’t hygenic there either way so he didn’t do anything. I mean, not cuz of me, but cuz not hygenic??? I was so freaking annoyed and disappointed and angry all at the same time.

I stopped replying to him properly and incomplete responses and he’s like what happened and all. The. I said dude I also went to a strip club full of hot guys with abs and all. All my friends touched or took a lap dance. I wanted to experience too but I just couldn’t do it thinking about you and what our relationship means to us. Also the people he went with all are unmarried so it’s not fair of him to say everyone was doing so he had to.

Then later he came back saying sorry and all but I feel like he’s just saying it cuz I got upset. He didn’t even feel like he did anything wrong.

I had a interesting dream when I was an early teen. Not just any dream though. It was a baby dream. I remember being the same age I was at the time, 15, and it was the summer before sophomore year. Late August and I was pretty pregnant to the point I could feel him elbow me and be able to see it through the skin. It started with just feeling him move around and thinking about my labor plan as we drove to a market that was down the street from my hospital. When we got there, I walked around and looked at all the little trinkets and food stalls before deciding on a gelato stand.​​​​​​ I remember getting a few looks, because I was so pregnant and so young, but it didn't really faze me because I had my little boy. The time between eating that and going into labor is fuzzy, but I know that the next thing I saw was them handing me my little boy and placing him on my chest. I still can feel his weight on my chest, his tiny little fingers around mine, and is thick hair tickling my face. I wish my mom was there, even if it was just a dream. I remember the exhaustion and the happy tears that fell on my face. I ended up drifting off in my dream​​​ as he slept on my chest. Then I woke up. I didn't even get to name him. Or show him to my mom. I still miss him a lot for a baby I never held. So I'm wondering if anyone else had a baby dream when they were younger and if I could get a good reason why I'd have a baby dream when I didn't want kids?​​

My last period was July 21, and there’s no chance of pregnancy. Around Aug 12–14, I started having very light slimy brown/red discharge, around when I expected to ovulate.

Since then it’s gradually become more bleeding and less discharge, but it’s still very light — one pad can last the whole day and it never becomes a normal period.

I’m also getting small clots, ranging from tiny pieces to about dime/nickel-sized, sometimes dark brown/black and sometimes red. They can come out at different times of day, sometimes when I pee/bear down, and sometimes I get a small gush when I get out of bed.

It’s been 2+ weeks now.

Has anyone had something similar? Did it eventually turn into a normal period or stop on its own?

Why its always like if you are in this deep hole they say like oh you'll get over this you'll be better and i believed that, but then I get into other hole and its just gets darker and depper, like bro wtf, i do everything that I can but its just one happy day for a month of anxiety and depression.

Like its this constant pain and loop, like try fail and repeat.

And things just gets harder and i feel so selfish if I try to say out loud the whole thing.

I must say it was never easy, I was born months earlier than planned so my healthy was never good, my dad is straight bullshit, it was rough but manageable because my mom will always cheer me up, but since she passed it is so hard nothing makes me happy, I have trouble sleeping and I dont mean like oh yeah I spend till 2 am last 2 weeks.

I mean its been almost 5 years and I still can spend 3 hours just staring at the ceiling.

I just miss her so fucking much, she was my reason.

Almost a year or 2 ago my sister tried to scape home, and since then she just keeps making stuff that affects us.

Last week I found out the last partner my mom had, and a pretty important person to me was sick and he couldn't explain a lot, because he was not allowed to have his phone with him and i haven't heard from him since.

I feel like a zombie with no path.

Does anyone have felt this way??

(I, early 20s, F) had my first visit with a new gyno and I'm not sure if the problem is me or her. I've seen a gyno before, but this was my first time having an exam/Pap smear. This doctor has great reviews and everything I've heard about her says she take time to listen to patients' concerns and is very caring and helpful. I...did not get that experience.

For starters, I arrived on time but wasn't seen until a full hour after my appointment time. Doctor walked in and immediately started asking questions. The whole visit felt really rushed and there wasn't really time for me to ask her questions. She left and had me undress, and then came back with her nurse. I understand why a nurse needs to be there? But I wasn't expecting that beforehand and it was SO unnerving to be in a vulnerable position and have an extra person come in unexpectedly. Having to spread eagle for a doctor whom I barely knew, plus a total stranger, was the worst. The procedure was really quick but it just felt like "here's what it looks like, you're going to feel xyz, some bleeding is normal, ok bye!" And then I was by myself again before I'd even processed anything that just happened.

I was actually looking forward to this visit, because this is a doctor I'll have for a long time and I was looking forward to establishing care and trust with a a gyno. I did not leave with a feeling of trust toward her. I like her? Sort of? But I felt like she looked more at her laptop than she did at me (I barely saw her face) and she left me a pamphlet that was not in my primary language. On my chart, she listed both a diet and a health issue I have not had for over a year, and I feel like I was pretty clear that I don't have that diet + issue anymore. I felt like she cared more about my uterus than me as a person.

She did order extensive lab work for my hormonal/hypothyroid issues, which was great. But I just left feeling really confused. Am I expecting too much? Are gyno visits normally like this? Was I just nervous and reading things wrong? Advice from you wise and learned ladies welcome.

I'm a 28 year old woman and I never really had a serious relationship. I never had any luck finding men within social IRL spaces so I'm left with no choice but to hop on the dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble. I recently go on there today during my break and I swiped right on a few guys and we matched. Not long after I swiped right on this one guy, he immediately messages me and starts off by saying "Hi OP! I'm M!" (For privacy reasons I will be using initials) "I think you're really pretty!" Now, that comment I don't mind. I was really flattered when he was complimenting me. But, then when I tried to ask him how he was doing he proceeds to say "Oh I'm doing really good now especially since we've matched! You really brightened up my day!" And then as we talk and get to know each other he proceeds to keep saying "You have been the biggest breath of fresh air for me like oh my God you're so gorgeous and I would love to give you my number so that I can take you out and have you be my girlfriend and ugh I just need someone so pretty like you!" So basically, he's being overly sweet in these messages. I've heard of love bombing before and I cannot help but be super anxious over this because this is how narcissists trap their partners. He then proceeds to ask me where I live and he wants me to give him my number. Like, I don't a part of me feels like he could be a nice guy and I'm just too avoidant or is he being too forward? like the way he's talking to me is like he's known me for years. I feel like he's moving too fast for me.

Edit: He also sent me a message at 2am while I was asleep in hopes that I would reply back to him right away. He also told me that women hardly swipe right on him and he says that he's really grateful that a beautiful woman like me gave him the time of day.