There's a guy at my gym who has been giving me unsolicited advice for the past few weeks. It started small, like telling me where my feet should be or suggesting a different exercise. The first couple times I just thanked him because I didn't want to make things awkward.

Yesterday I was doing squats and he came over again, watched a couple reps, then started telling me what I was doing wrong. I told him politely that I appreciate him trying to help, but I have my own routine and I'd rather just work out without being corrected. His whole attitude changed. He said he was only trying to help and that there was no reason for me to be rude about it.

That annoyed me because I really wasn't rude. I didn't raise my voice or insult him. I just finally said no. After that I was playing on my phone between sets and noticed him talking to another guy while looking over at me, which made the whole thing even more uncomfortable.

I don't understand why declining someone's advice gets treated like you're rejecting some huge favor. I go to the gym to put my headphones in and do my workout, not to have a stranger supervise me every time we're there at the same time.

Has anyone else dealt with this? I'm wondering if I should just keep ignoring him from now on or say something to the staff if he keeps approaching me.

Even if my point isn’t good, why don’t I get the respect of the platform of being able to say something stupid?

So I just saw a photo of Bonnie Blue with her baby after giving birth. I'm not 100% convinced that it's not just a doll and this entire pregnancy wasn't just a stunt. The photo blurs the "baby's" face but it just looks off to me, idk.

Anyway - real or not, her online activity related to her pregnancy has been super controversial, to say the least. And I feel kinda conflicted about her. I do not watch porn. I know that her content is pretty extreme. But the online conversation of "she should be thrown in jail and gave her kids taken away" ... For...?

Is it the recording and posting it that we're mad about? Because really, if a sex worker gets pregnant should she just be out of work once she's showing? If a pregnant lady wants to let men pee on her for money, is that so horrible or damaging to the baby? We can say we feel like it's weird or wrong, but why? Or having sex with different people - sex doesn't hurt the baby in the womb. Does she lose the right to record her body how she wants because she is pregnant?

I'm not trying to go to bat for Bonnie Blue specifically, just something about a bunch of people online wanting to have a say so badly in how a pregnant woman decides to use her body, feels very gross to me.

There's also the issue of Bonnie getting all this criticism for her extreme content, but who buys it? Who is making her a millionaire? Should we not discuss the much larger system rather than one woman who capalizes off of it?? There is one Bonnie Blue; how many men showed up to sleep with her? How many subscribers?

A few months ago, I had a medical emergency. It started with constipation and stomach pain. I decided it was PMS. However, after a sleepless night and a few bouts of vomiting, I knew I needed to go to the hospital.

Now, if someone else were experiencing similar symptoms and called me for advice, I would tell them, “Go to the hospital immediately.”

What did I do? I started cleaning the apartment. I folded the laundry, did the dishes, put some stuff away, vacuumed and mopped the floor, took a shower, groomed myself, washed and blow-dried my hair, made arrangements for my cat, and took the train to the hospital.

Turned out I had a burst appendix.

When I told that to my mom, she laughed and said, “Only a woman would do that!”

You have shows and movies across media talking about those rapists and seriel killers, analyzing their psyche and other "interesting" stuff bla bla. They even go into detail about how their victims are raped or dismembered.

Sometimes I feel sad that nobody talks about the victims enough. Most of them are women mind you. What about those lives these predators took? Why don't they go onto detail about their lives and their families and friends, what future they had and what future they were deprived of.

The woman who got raped in the Bible, she got cut into pieces as a display of "justice". People emphasize on justice, men taking revenge to show God's punishment. What about the woman? Raped and then had her corpse cut into pieces. Like how the media cuts these victims into pieces figuratively to impose judgment upon the seriel killer.

I suppose women are just like pigs and other animals, we are here to facilitate some profound human reflection by men. Our suffering is their philosophy.

I've been 4 years out of a terrible abusive relationship. I currently have an active case against my ex boyfriend. I have a hard time remembering the majority of the relationship, but I was with him for 5 years (first started dating when I was 16 and he was 19).

I've been getting more flashbacks and memories, and one recurring one is that I remember on multiple occasions I would wake up with my clothes off. I would be embarrassed and he would always laugh it off and say that I got so hot that I removed my clothes. Mind you I sleep cold I always need a blanket and I have never woken up that way before dating him nor after we had broken up.. and I had slept through every alarm (I am a light sleeper) and now have a chronic sensitivity to light (I never had this before).

I saw an EMDR therapist during my break up and they were the ones to first suggest that I may have been getting drugged. The thought never crossed my mind. At the time the thought made me so uncomfortable I didn't want to accept it but now that I'm finally confronting it, it feels insane. Has anyone else had a similar experience? I don't even know how I would have been drugged or by what? I know I won't know for sure but I just wish I had some sort of answer.

Last week I had an appointment to get Paragard installed. I feel like my provider did not adequately prepare me for what to expect. I of course had heard stories from women online who said it was very painful and were very crampy afterwards. I was still not prepared for how badly it hurt. When she first measured my uterus with the sound, I actually cried out in pain. Tears came to my eyes before I realized it and my first instinct was to apologize for crying lol. Then it was the same pain again when she launched the little device inside of me. I stayed supine in the exam room for a few minutes trying to gauge the level of pain. I made it outside to schedule the follow-up ultrasound and limped back out to my car. I took some advil and waited for it to start to relieve the cramping. It didnt help. I was writhing in my car for over an hour, with pain so bad that I vomited. My partner had to come pick me up because I was unable to drive. I thought I had a pretty high pain tolerance; I have multiple tattoos and piercings, including in sensitive areas, and a history of SH, meaning to say that I'm not a stranger to pain. But this was something else. It's been five days now and I still feel crampy and bloated and like there is something inside of me. Please tell me this goes away and I'll feel like myself again soon.

Regardless of your opinions on weddings, marriage, or how much people should spend on them, the way people talk about brides is so blatantly misogynistic.

Weddings seem to give people socially acceptable permission to absolutely tear women apart.

A bride posts her flowers? “I would NEVER spend that much on flowers.” Her dress? “Imagine spending thousands on something you wear once.” Her venue? “What a waste of money, I got married at the courthouse.” She cares about the color of the napkins? Suddenly she’s shallow and doesn’t actually care about her husband or about being married at all and it’s just for Instagram and the marriage will never last.

Why is a bride not allowed to care about the fucking napkins?

Men spend absurd amounts of money on bachelor trips, cars, golf, gaming setups, watches, etc. etc. etc. (other things they care about, enjoy, and want to spend money on), and it generally isn’t treated like evidence that they’re vain, stupid, narcissistic, or morally defective (Because it isn’t!)

But women cannot win. If you don’t spend enough on your guests, you’re cheap and selfish and only care about yourself. If you spend too much, you’re narcissistic and financially irresponsible and obviously headed straight for divorce. Have a huge wedding? Wasteful. Have a small one? Selfish because grandma’s eighth cousin wasn’t invited. People act so high and mighty online because they “prioritize experiences“ and had a big honeymoon instead of a big wedding.

But how is a wedding not an experience? For a lot of people, it’s the only time in their lives that everyone they love will be together in one place. There may literally never be another day where all of those people are together again.

And I just find it so ironic that weddings are enormously centered around everyone else anyway. Guest comfort, dietary restrictions, travel, hotels, transportation, accessibility, seating, food, alcohol, entertainment, family expectations. So much of that planning and emotional labor falls on the bride, who is expected to accommodate everyone while somehow not caring “too much” about the event herself. Brides have to pull off a perfect event where everyone is happy and their guests‘ every need is catered to but also not spend any money because it’s selfish to spend that much “on yourself” and also not care or try too hard.

Obviously unreasonable brides exist. Obviously people should not be spending above their means or going into debt for a wedding. Almost all of the weddings on social media are unattainably expensive. Wedding costs have skyrocketed after Covid and the whole industry has major issues. But are women not allowed to find joy in planning an event hosting her loved ones? Why is she not allowed to care? What is so inherently wrong with that? People (and not just men) seem almost gleeful about finding reasons to call women spoiled, shallow, crazy, controlling, or “bridezillas”

There was a bride on the wedding planning sub asking if it was reasonable for her to ask her bridesmaids to wear their hair up. Instead of a “yes” or a “no” or a “why don’t you ask them“ the comments basically all devolved into calling her crazy and that she’s going to get divorced within the year. and I’m pretty sure that sub is all women!

I saw another comment from a guy recently acting like it was insane for people to be engaged for a year and plan for a year because his wife did it all in 2 months and it was “so easy” and that any bride planning for longer than that is vapid and just doing it for Instagram.

EVERY post revealing any amount of money spent on anything wedding related turns into a competition and starts bashing the bride. “My catering was $10000” “$10k? The only bride I knew that spent that much was divorced in a year.” “I only spent $2500” “$2500 on one day? We didn’t even do catering, just $1000 for cake and punch” “If I had $1000 to waste I’d donate to charity”. It‘s like spending money on a wedding is some kind of moral failing and its just a race to the bottom.

And the automatic assumption that the husband / father is paying for the whole wedding also drives me insane.

I’m ranting but at some point it stops being criticism of wedding culture and starts looking like what it is: a very convenient excuse to bash women for caring about something associated primarily with women

What if the world was made of pudding? What if Nazis won World War 2? What if I was killed by a car the moment I walked out of here and nothing we did mattered anymore? What if you focused on the patient actually in front of you instead of a nebulous idea 20 years in the future based on a stereotype of what 'everyone' should want? What if you let me worry about my mind and you used your medical degree to worry about actual medical considerations and complications and educate me so that I can make my own informed decision?

I yelled “get the f*ck out of my face” at a man who catcalled me today. I typically ignore it but I was so fed up and he kept going after I had initially ignored him. I haven’t raised my voice in so long and he said “damn” and looked shocked.

It was kind of cathartic but then I got scared that it put a target on me. I take public transit and it’s the way I get home from work everyday.

Feeling a weird mix of being proud of myself for standing up to him and also feeling kind of dumb for making myself memorable. Don’t really know how to feel :/

After 5 years of wasting my time 😃 any movie or video game (PC) recommendations? I don’t want to think about anything ever again.

VERY LONG POST - A LOT TO BE SAID:
I’ve (nearly) decided to break up with my boyfriend of two years, but I need to know how to go about it.
I don’t know what’s happened within the past week but I very suddenly feel at the absolute end of my tether so I really want to rip the plaster off and do it despite the fact that I’ll be left in a bad living situation afterwards.

Our thoughts on equal housework are not the same. I have had over two years of trying to sort this issue, to no avail. I have genuinely had countless discussions with him (calm and not-so-calm) about how stressed and upset it makes me that our contribution to the housework is in no way equal despite us both having full-time commitments, and it never has been since I moved in (I realise I should’ve left as soon as it became an issue, but I stupidly didn’t).
His cleanliness is non-existent (and his hygiene is even worse but I won’t get into that). He won’t pick up after himself or do any chores unless I ask him to.

I have to ask him over and over again to do one chore (or pick up trash that he’s left lying around or laundry he didn’t put in the basket), meaning I have to constantly keep tabs on everything around the house. Then, it’ll be four-to-five days later and it still hasn’t been done so I just decide to do it because I am SICK to death of asking/reminding him and mess stresses me out.

Then, as soon as he hears me doing said chore for him, he’ll rush in and exclaim “I was about to do that!” and blame me for “not letting him help” as he says I “always get to it before he can do it himself.” (This, I’ve learnt, is a load of BS and just an easy way to counter my argument or make me feel stupid).
I explain that I know he wasn’t “just about” to do it, because if he was then he would’ve done it 3/4 days ago instead of sitting playing his video game all the time (I’m a gamer too so I understand the feeling of not wanting to do chores, but I still do them without anyone asking me to).
It really fucking pisses me off that he is always conveniently “just about to do it” as soon as he hears me in the middle of it to try and prove that I’m inhibiting him from helping. But if I don’t decide to do it myself, he’ll somehow never be “about to”, and it’ll get left there indefinitely.

I’ve explained this in these exact words time and time again for two years straight, and I’ve told him how incredibly stressed it makes me, even to the point where I’d have to leave if nothing changed, so he’s begged me not to go and has said he would change more times than I can remember. But he never has, and two years later here we are.

My mum gave me some advice that I should make a “chore chart”, so me and my bf sat down and did it together - we wrote down all of the household chores and then split them into what seemed fair between us both so it was visual and no confusion could be had. Needless to say this worked for about a week and then somehow I went back to doing both of our chores because he stopped doing his half.

He says he adores me and says repeatedly that he will do anything for me/to keep me, but apparently that doesn’t apply to basic tasks and doing his part around the house. Why is this???

Despite everything I’ve said, I do love him and I’ll be devastated to leave him behind, but my resentment is ever-growing and I’m losing attraction quickly. To add to this, my 22nd birthday is at the start of October and him & his parents (who I love so much but they have no idea these issues are happening) have booked us a holiday in Greece for three weeks and I’m pretty sure they paid thousands and cannot get the money back for it. I’ll feel incredibly guilty that their money will be wasted, but at the same time I really don’t want to stick around just for a holiday because that’s gross.

Btw I don’t like the ideas that get given to women that we should “stop doing his laundry to make a point” or “leave his dirty dishes/trash on the side for it to pile up so he gets the message” because why should we have to live in our partners’ filth just to prove a point which most likely will never get across? We are not their mothers and I shouldn’t have to choose between asking my grown, adult partner to pick up his dirty laundry five times or stepping over it every day.

I don’t know if I should tell him it’s because of this to prove that I was serious about leaving if it never changed, or just try to pack my shit and leave without a trace when he’s out, block him and never explain myself. Thank you all.

EDIT: A few people keep mentioning ADHD so I’ll just put this in here. I have ADHD, so I have been thinking that he could, too, for a long time, and have suggested that he should look into ADHD symptoms/traits and go to the drs if he thinks he wants to be tested. I have suggested this multiple times, as well as offering to help him if the task seemed overwhelming.
Alas, he said he would, months ago, but never did - further adding to what I’ve said. I refuse to do this for him among everything else. So I just want to leave now.

Ugh, disgusting behavior continues from the winery owner and ex-Mayor of Windsor, CA

Now let me start by saying it is a deeply flawed informal study, completely off the cuff, and my scientific background is incredibly low level. But I think you all should help me interpret the data anyway.

Background (personal): I’m pretty sure I’ve been suffering from body dysmorphia- I genuinely have no idea how I look to others and the way I look to myself isn’t fixed- it varies day to day, actually minute to minute.

So I found myself trying to interpret other people’s actions to see if others found me attractive. But then I wondered if beautiful people actually get more verbal praise or different treatment?

Which leads to my Question: Is verbal praise a reliable indicator of positive looks?

Hypothesis: Women who meet the current beauty standard will be praised more and treated better in perceived flirty conversation.

Methods: I have taken a group of unsolicited Reddit predators that show up in my inbox looking for photos and sexting. They initiate conversation. I respond in a friendly and cordial manner. Eventually, ALWAYS, the subjects ask to share a photo. Half of the group was sent a catfish photo of a woman who meets the beauty standard. The other half were sent a catfish photo of a woman who does not meet the standard. Conversation directly after the sent photo was interpreted for amount of praise, interest, and positivity given.

Findings: of the thirty or so participants about 12 were given the beauty standard photo. Another dozen the non beauty standard photo. 6 were excluded prior to photo share for pure douchebaggery and safety concerns.

The beauty standard photo of an “attractive” woman was met with little to no praise. One word comments were common. Degree of excitement was low, verbal descriptions of looks were vague and unenthusiastic. Examples include “You look nice” “pretty eyes”. The participants did however want to continue conversation and a few thought they were “falling for” the experimenter.

The non beauty standard photo on the other hand recieved more positive responses, with higher degrees of enthusiasm, punctuation, and emoji use, while lacking respectfulness. “Wow, you’re beautiful” “those lips would look so good around me” “you look like such a good girl! 😈” “ I bet you have big titties, don’t you?” participants in this group were noted to push much harder toward sexual conversation much more quickly.

Conclusion: women who meet the beauty standard seemed to get less and less enthusiastic praise. Non beauty standard women were praised and sexualized aggressively.

Just had a conversation with a neighbour because a tree on my property caused some damage to his guttering during a system. I agreed straight away to split the cost (he had told me 3 weeks ago that he would be trimming the tree but it wasn't done in time), but the comment of 'tell your fella, he owes me £50' just wound me up.

We both live here, and it's actually my property, I paid the deposit, I cleared the mortgage and I am the higher earner but apparently the Boomer next door doesn't understand that!

Hi all,

I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months now. Well, half a year now. Everything is going well. There is one thing though.

We were having sex one day without protection. It’s stupid, I know. I feel embarrassed to even admit this. The one test I took was a positive. I’m freaking out. I don’t know how far long I am. He’s telling me we can talk about it. That he loves me and he’s not going anywhere, and that we can make an appointment to actually find out if I’m pregnant or not. I keep thinking it’s a false positive but I know I should also be not delusional.

The one person I want to talk about this with is my mom but she’s dead. I don’t know what to do.