My husband & I came into the relationship with baggage - me a 3yo son, him a 4 year old husky & 2 cats. We moved together when my son was 4, married a year later. My husband doesn’t have any small children in his family so his exposure is limited. Naturally, so is his dog’s… which was clear to me when sudden movement by my son made her visibly anxious.

A month after we got married, I was working in my office while my freshly 5 year old was playing on the floor. The dog was sleeping nearby & was making strange noises in her sleep. My curious, animal loving son went to check on her & next thing I knew I hear a blood curdling scream and blood is everywhere. She bit him on the mouth out of sleep startle. He had to get stitches & we had him evaluated with a plastic surgeon to be safe. He has a permanent scar on his lip.

It was an emotional time for us & we explored options but ultimately decided to keep her with the understanding she’d undergo rigorous behavioral training & we’d keep them separated. Husband was a wreck & I had no idea what to do, I just knew I’d never see this dog the same. My son begged to keep her around too. Well.. months later I had to remind him to sign her up. Muzzles were ordered but never used. We kept them separated but the more I learned about dogs, the more I realized she has some serious behavior problems for her age. She can’t be left alone even in a room or she’ll either destroy something or pee/poop. We’ve had to get an expensive kennel because she breaks out of the traditional ones. Even with the maximum security kennels she is covered in her own drool from trying to get out, & barks the entire time. She jumps on people that come over & once calm she’s at it again. She essentially knows no boundaries.

Fast forward to today & we have a 2 month old. Pregnancy & postpartum made my tolerance for her 0. The mental load of managing the hair, drool, chasing the cats (she got hurt pretty bad from one of them defending themselves), watching what she’s getting into, and constantly being aware of where she is is so much right now. It’s only going to be worse when he starts crawling and walking. Husband isn’t aware of this because he’s never been around babies/toddlers. He got to skip all that when he came into our lives!

I know rehoming is a controversial topic, but I do regret prioritizing his feelings at a time it made the most sense to rehome. Now I feel like someone else is going to get hurt & it’s going to be my fault because I wasn’t honest. I feel like my baby won’t get to pull himself up on furniture, toddle around, drop Cheerios, squeal, fall over, and generally behave like a baby without us constantly calculating where this dog is and I don’t think husband grasps the severity of that.

My son is six and he’s been a YouTube obsessed kid for probably a year or so. Mostly gamers (Minecraft and Mario type stuff), but he’s gotten into some weird stuff and his behavior has been bratty and impatient and too much like his most watched YouTubers.

Anyway, mostly just looking for reassurance from those of you who have cold turkeyed YouTube also.

Ladies. I just need to vent somewhere and get this off my chest. And maybe have someone tell me they’ve been through it too and everything turned out fine.

My 3 year old was running around the house today, as kids do, and then slipped and smashed her face into the hard base board of the couch, followed by the most gut wrenching cry I’ve heard and lots of blood. One front tooth immediately fell out and the other one was hanging very loose.

Long story short, dentist says loose tooth is definitely coming out too and they recommend putting her under general anaesthesia and doing a cast for dentures since it’s still another 3-4 years before the adult teeth come out.

This is going to affect her eating, her speech…hubby is concerned about her getting ridiculed and teased in school about the dentures (she’s still home with me). Nevermind the trauma of probably holding her down to get the IV needle in for anaesthesia. And we’re both just so heartbroken over this. She doesn’t deserve this. No kid does.

Tell me it’s all going to be okay?!

My daughter, an 8 year old girl, was using the bathroom going number 2 at her grandma's house. Her 10 year old male cousin walked in on her (apparently the lock doesn't work) and he laughed and called their other male cousin (8) over. She got up to close the door and they fought her trying to keep it open. Grandma's was outside with the other 2 kids.

I arrived not long after it happened. She was still in the bathroom. I heard her crying but thought she was upset I brought her baby sister over (different issue).

Finally she came out and asked to go straight home so we did (we live a couple houses down the road).

She then told me what happened. I had noticed at her grandma's she smelled like poop. And sure enough there was poop over the waistband of her jeans and all over her legs and butt.

When her dad got home I told him what happened and he said it's not as a big of deal as I'm making it. His brother's friends did that to him as a kid. I pointed out that they were all boys, this was a girl against two boys, and he said I was weird for bringing gender into this because 10 year olds don't view gender like we do.

ETA this is my husbands family. His mother, and his 2 brothers' sons.

That’s the post.

Like seriously though, kiddo is 4. She’s barely done half a year of classes and I’ve already paid the dance school more than a thousand dollars for class fees, uniforms, class materials, etc etc etc. PLUS the recital she’ll perform in happening in a few weeks. That cost money too of course.

The teachers are wonderful and I’ve seen snippets of the classes with the older girls so it does seem like a very welcoming environment (a lot more than the ballet classes I attended when I was her age and eventually left because the older girls kept making fun of my size). But MAN. Dance is expensiveeeeeeee!!

Anyway, kiddo really loves it and she just flourishes so much when she’s in class doing her thing. So I’ll keep smiling through the glass at her and sobbing behind her back as I open my wallet. Again. Lolll

My husband was supposed to take our son (3) to the doctor this morning. Little boy hasn’t been feeling well (he tested positive for strep two weeks ago and I was worried it came back) and his daddy offered to be the one to take him to the doctor because I’ve been really busy at work. He told me to make an early appointment because he had more flexibility in the morning, so I made it for 8:50. Knowing that he had volunteered for this, my husband decided to stay at his office all night and didn’t get home until 4:30 am. I had my misgivings (and I should’ve listened to my intuition) but he’s gone to bed really late and still gotten up early to make it to things before. This morning around 7:15 when I went to leave I couldn’t get my husband to wake up for me to tell him bye and remind him about the appointment. I was still trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and left a note about the appointment wrapped around the phone and slipped out. I’d like to mention that my son was still asleep at this point and we are pretty lucky because he will sleep until around 8 if nobody wakes him up, so I figured it was ok that they were both still asleep. When I got to work at 8 I texted my husband to let him know the baby’s backpack was packed and there was a fresh water bottle in the fridge in case he was able to go to daycare. No response. That’s not unusual for him so I tried to let it go. Then around 8:30 I texted him to ask if he was up. No response. At 8:50 I texted him again to see if they’d made it. No response. At 8:55 I called the doctor’s office to see if they’d checked in and the girl said they had not. I started to panic because my son was probably awake and if his daddy was still asleep that hard then he was basically alone. I called my husband, he didn’t pick up. I called again, nothing. It’s 9:15 at this point and I text him to tell him I’m about to send my parents to the house to check on our 3 year old son. I give him 5 minutes to tell me not to but no response. I call my dad (my parents live 10 minutes down the road and I work 30 minutes away so sending one of the was faster) and he says he’s happy to go check it out. That was at 9:30, my dad had to get dressed and drive over to the house so he gets there at 9:50. He said when he walked in there was no movement until he got to my baby’s room and he was sitting on his bed crying. My dad got him changed, grabbed a sippy cup and his backpack and took him back to their house. I let my boss know what was going on and he said I was fine to go get my child and work from home. I go flying out to my house first, throw our front door open, and start screaming. By this point it is 10:50. It scares my husband enough that he finally wakes up and jumps out of our bed and I ask him if he knows where our son is. This is then followed up by me calling him irresponsible (this is not the first time he’s stayed out late like that) and told him if he wants to be at the office so badly then he should probably start sleeping there and that he better not still be at the house by the time I got back with our son. All I could focus on was that our 3 year old was essentially by himself for an hour and it would’ve been longer if my dad hadn’t been able to go get him and there are so many things that could’ve gone very badly in that time. Did I overreact?

I’d like to note that I do not think my husband is cheating on me and that isn’t the point of this story anyway.

TLDR; my husband volunteered to take our 3 year old to the doctor in the morning while I was at work, then stayed out until 4:30 am and was asleep so hard that my child was basically home by himself for about an hour and I lost my shit on my husband when I could finally get back to my house.

Remember that haze after giving birth? How scatterbrained you might have felt for weeks or months after?

I thought that had gone away now that my toddler is 18 months old and I decided to go back to work a few weeks back. I thought enough time had passed.

Every day since going back, I feel like a bumbling idiot instead. I feel like I’m less intelligent, less socially capable, my executive functioning skills are worse, my short term memory is garbage and I can’t seem to get myself organized. And all that stuff is really important since I am a teacher and I’m just failing at it all, at least compared to how I used to be.

Did any of you experience this when going back to work? Did it get any better?

How many kids do you want/ have and where do you live? (Like city or rural, what state if the U.S)

I’m just curious if it’s true that people in cities tend to have 1-2 kids versus in rural areas people tend to have 3+

For those of you who have experienced gender disappointment, how were you realistically able to get over it? I feel so, so guilty for feeling the way I do, but I physically feel heartbroken. I feel like I’m mourning something I never had and that’s really troublesome to me.

I was obviously wanting a girl this time around. I wasn’t letting myself even fall to the idea that it could be because I just knew it would be a boy and I didn’t want to be in the position I’m currently in.
My husband got exactly what he wanted, again, and I’m trying to just be happy with a healthy baby. And I’m very happy that we’re blessed with another baby, but we agreed this was our last one. We had one more shot. I feel like such an a-hole for feeling this way. But I can’t stop my tears when I think of the experiences I’ve been so excited about since I was young, knowing I’ll never have them.

3 boys will be fun. Exhausting, but fun. I know I need to look at the positives. But I just feel lost right now. Sorry for the dramatics - I know I’m not the only one to go through this by any means.
My oldest son wanted a baby sister so bad. I’m really not looking forward to telling him he’s going to have another baby brother 😅😂 he might take it harder than me!

Edit: I also had a miscarriage (too early to tell gender) when my second son was 6 months old. I will always wonder if that was “my girl” or not. So I’m just in my head a little extra about it.

I work 4 days a week in the office. I am about a year post partum, have been back in the office for 5 months, and I'm running into the problem where I have a lot of downtime in the office, and the old things that used to get me through the day before baby (reading, scrolling, watching tv, reselling) aren't doing it. I think of all the things I could be doing at home, but I'm stuck here.

I usually do my grocery shopping online while at work and make to-do lists for when I get home, but is there anything else I could be doing that would help with home life?

Yes, I realize how privileged this sounds. I am getting paid to just be a body in a space, but I am starting to spiral a bit. I have been using PTO for days I really know will be slow, but I would rather find things to do at work that will help me feel productive.

To sum up what has happened today…

We had a slow morning with both my 2yo and my 4mo. The baby actually slept in today, I got my toddler breakfast. We all got ready to go to the library for story time, everything was great.

Not even 5 minutes at the library and we have a medical emergency, my toddler split her eyebrow on a table corner. Call 911 and my husband because I cannot juggle both the toddler who is TERRIFIED of doctors and the 4mo. It’s 9:30am.

Go to the hospital. 1cm gash. Deep. Needs stitches. 4mo is being an absolute trooper, but there’s one problem. I only packed 1 bottle for her and I don’t have a breast pump. She doesn’t nurse. The hospital has ready to feed formula but she REFUSED to eat it. Oh well you won’t starve.

So note to self, always pack 2 bottles of milk and have a hand pump. Kids are fine, I’m fine, husband is fine. We got McDonald’s after 🥲

So today after I picked my twins up from their dad not even 5 mins later he sends this self righteous text about the messiness of my car. It’s not that bad for starters. I’ve had worse. But I literally cart around twin toddlers who sometimes throw their food on the ground and there’s been a heat advisory so cleaning it out isn’t my top priority.

Anyways he’s all like “don’t you care about their long term health?” After mentioning all the things wrong with my car on the inside. We went back and forth for a while and he just straight up said “clean your car” like dude who are you to think you can tell me what to do anymore anyways? I’ll get to it when I get to it. They can’t get anything on the floor for they are in car seats. Idk what the issue is. It’s not a health hazard. He just nitpicks everything I do now. He recently called DCS on me claiming I’m “too impaired” to take care of the boys. Everything he does is perfect apparently and everything I do is wrong. 🤷‍♀️

We just started my 4yo daughter in a new preschool. We were happy at her old school but my employer sponsors a center and so we switched.

I’m concerned how they handle naps and not sure if I’m overreacting. They have a 2 hr nap period and the children are expected to lie on their mats the entire time whether they sleep or not. My daughter hasn’t napped in months. I asked if she could do some quiet activity and the teacher told me they couldn’t. I raised it with the director and she told me they could do puzzles or draw as long as they stayed on the mat. But when I followed up with the teacher about those specific activities, she reiterated that no activities were allowed and she could have a second stuffie but that’s it. Her old school didn’t do it this way. They had a short quiet time but kids could do quiet activities if they didn’t nap.

This seems excessive to me. I’d be bored if I was lying around for 2 hrs. I would be fine if the rest time was shorter, or if she was allowed to do some quiet activities while other kids napped. But it’s 2 hrs of lying around with nothing to do.

I also don’t like how the director and teacher are communicating different things. The director actually told me the teacher must have been confused when I asked about nap time and doing quiet activities and she said that wasn’t allowed, because their policy is to allow quiet activities. It felt like she was blowing me off and makes me lack trust in the facility. I tried really hard to approach the question from a place of curiosity and not seem critical.

What do you all think? Am I overly concerned about this or would it bother you?

Im staying at my brothers place with my baby for 2 weeks and they have a 4year old and a 10month old. I have a 6month old. Ive been enjoying maternity leave as my baby is very chilled, peaceful and just a joy to be around. Now im not saying that it is or always will always be 'easy' with her but she is the cutest baby and laughs a lot and barely cries

Ofcourse i love my brothers kids but they are so loud.. the younger one screams sooo loud and high pitched multiple times an hour (my eardrums are ruined for life), the older one whines and complains all the time and you have to constantly tell her 'no'

Im honestly scared of ever having another baby as my brother and his wife seem so tired and exhausted all the time, im not sure they are actually enjoying life right now.

How do you mummas with more than 1 kid do it? Are you happy and enjoy your kids? Do you have fun or are you just dying inside? Ive always wanted 2 kids but oh my lord im so done after less than a week

My daughter is approaching her 4th birthday in a couple of weeks, and she still favours her father. Since she was somewhere between 18 months and 2 years old, she has had a parental preference for him. I did the googling, the research here on Reddit, and most of the time “it’s a phase, it’ll pass.” Well, here we are years later, and it’s still going strong. It’s not only annoying (today she went crazy because the man went for a gd shower), but it really hurts me. I KNOW I’m not supposed to take it personal, and I know it isn’t personal (supposedly). But damn I’d be lying if i said it doesn’t hurt. She wants him for EVERYTHING - right down to going to the bathroom (for help wiping #2) and brushing her teeth. She wants to sit by him, not me. She excludes me from things, like “me, Baba, and [baby sister].” It honestly makes me feel like shit and like I should just disappear because I’m not wanted here anyway.

Mainly just a rant, but every time I manage to get a really solid workout routine going and stay consistent in the gym for a few weeks, I end up getting sick and have to take a week off! I have a toddler ( 1.5 year old) who consistently goes to Sunday school, and I swear we're fighting a cold at least every 2 months, if not more often. 😅 Anyone else experience this? Is it normal to get sick this often with a toddler? I assume it is, but maybe I need to get better about taking vitamins.

I had a pretty crappy medical thing happen last week. Sinus infection + a neglected tooth = a massive facial abscess that resulted in an emergency tooth extraction and the feeling of someone draining a mass of infection out of my face through a hole in my jaw (0/10 Do Not Recommend).

My daughter is 2 and some change. We're best friends. The surgery happened while she was at daycare on Thursday and an emergency at her Dad's work meant I had to limp out of the house with a swollen face to pick her up.

She didn't notice anything wrong at first, but on the way home in the car she kept staring at me in the mirror. Eventually, she touched her own cheek and said "Mama Bobo?"

I explained to her in toddler terms that Mama had a bobo in her mouth and it was going to get better now, that I had gone to the doctor and was fixed. She thought about that, nodded sweetly, and said "Otay Mama".

We get home, get into our comfy clothes and get ready to play for a bit before we make dinner and she turns to me with her hand on her right cheek (same as my swollen one) "Ouch!", she cried.

I asked her what was wrong and she confidently tells me "Baby fall down outside!" while rubbing her cheek. I opened my arms for her and she fell dramatically into them while I kissed her cheek and asked if she was okay.

"Yeah mama. Otay. Baby see doctor. Otay."

And I cannot get over it. She told me a story. She remembered what I told her and she made her own little story out of it. She's never done anything like that before and I am already so obsessed with her that it feels like my heart is going to explode.

We had matching bandaids on our cheeks by the time Dad got home.

I hear all the time that motherhood damaged their body, saggy boobs, back aches, head aches, pelvic floor dysfunction.

After all of this, what helped you get better? Hydration? Physical therapy? Anything?

Our son is 1.5. His doctor never performed any type of blood panel except a prick on his finger to check lead and something else (I don’t remember what it was). All I know is that it was standard practice at that visit. But my friend who has a 1 year old said her pediatrician performed a CBC blood panel as part of a routine check up. I want to switch pediatricians because I’m not a huge fan of ours but just wondering if we’re missing stuff?

I never thought I’d consider this, but hear me out. I have a 2.5 year old, and the last few vacations with her were anything but relaxing. She would often wake up at 5am because she’s not sleeping at home, plus a lot more whining. It’s true when they say it’s parenting in a different place; I feel more relaxed when I work and she’s at daycare than traveling with the her, tbh. Plus, there’s many things we can’t do with her - like dinner and drinks at a later time, going on a hike, etc. I’m also pregnant again (and exhausted!) so I’m considering this even more.

So, has anyone here ever hired a nanny or babysittter abroad? How did this work out for you, and how did you find them? I’m thinking something like 4h a day, that the nanny/babysitter either spends fully with all of us, so she’s basically just another set of hands, and/or 4h of her keeping our toddler busy while my husband and I do something for ourselves (hike, sightseeing, massage, sleep etc).

I don’t know what this would look like in real life because can I even trust someone that I just met? Will I just constantly worry? Or will my toddler be absolutely unhappy with another person there? Please share your experiences. Thanks!

I’m 6 weeks pp with 2nd baby. My oldest started TK so suddenly she’s gone everyday and I’m home with a baby. I find myself missing my old life with my oldest so much. I’m way more sad this time than I thought and then to top everything off I had to put my dog down today. Nothing feels real I’m just in a fog! My life doesn’t feel like mine right now. When will this cloud lift off of my life?! I don’t exactly regret having a 2nd baby but I’m having a harder time connecting this time around. My first baby was so magical and I felt bonded right away. Has anyone else experience this with second baby?

I think I hate my husband. And I fucking hate that I feel this way.

I want to be a good team. I want to appreciate his efforts. I want to see him as a wonderful father. But I don't. I see glimpses that give me hope. But overall, we fight about stupid useless things *constantly*.

I'm constantly having to double check that he put the diaper on correctly, or that he's giving our one year old age appropriate foods (why do I have to keep saying no raw apple or cucumber or a whole ass pickle??!), or that he put the harness on correctly in the car seat, or that he packed what's required for a daily outing. Then 9/10 times I have to fix the diaper, fish a chunk of raw apple out of baby's mouth, tighten &/or untwist the carseat harness, repack the bag with weather appropriate clothing and enough diapers and etc etc. And his phone OH MY GOD THE PHONE for fucks sake. It seems like every day I have to tell him to put his phone down and watch the baby, then I hear the baby crying and turn around to see husband on his goddamn phone. Like hello???? Your baby is crying and reaching for you and you're too busy to notice. What the actual fuck. He also can't seem to spend time with our little one without headphones in - listening to a podcast or audiobook. The lack of ability to be present is pissing me off.

The thing is, we've been together for almost half our lives. We had an almost 15 year relationship before having a kid, and it was an amazing relationship. I genuinely thought we'd be great together as parents. We've been talking about it for years - the kind of parents we wanted to be, the parenting styles we like/don't like, what our family would be like. And like I said before, I see glimpses of this version of him, but I need more of this. I feel like I have 2 toddlers sometimes.

Anyways I just needed to rant. Please tell me if I'm in the wrong, I'd like to do what I can to make this work and to be a better parent & partner. And please share if you've been in a similar situation and what you did to make things better.

I just need to vent. I write this as I lay defeated on the couch while my toddler climbs on me like a jungle gym. I have an almost 2 year old and I’m currently 8 months pregnant. We’re going on 6+ weeks of my toddler being sick. No one in the house has slept in what feels like forever. Her cough has gotten worse and now she has diarrhea, so I took her back to the pediatrician. She’s terrified of shots and taking her to the doctor is a nightmare now. I have to put her in a “restraint hug” so the doctor can quickly examine her. She’s flailing- screaming, kicking, crying- while the pediatrician is trying to listen to her lungs and look in her ears. She has a new virus and her ears are still infected from the last virus. The antibiotics didn’t work, despite the torture it was to get her to take them. We are prescribed stronger antibiotics to treat the ears, which will likely worsen the diarrhea. Which will likely worsen the diaper rash she already has. Lovely.

She finally calms down and I waddle her to the car. It starts raining and, of course, our umbrella is MIA. I get her in the car seat and she starts crying again. We start to drive home and it’s now down-pouring. The car is yelling at me to get gas. I’m not going to make it home, so I need to stop somewhere. My toddler is screaming, I’m trying to calm her down, my unborn child is kicking me the sh*t out of me, it’s pouring out, and I can barely see the road. To say I’m overstimulated is an understatement. I pull into the gas station and thoroughly scrape the side of my car on one of those concrete pole barriers. Awesome. I have an audience of people at the pumps watching this happen. I waddle out to see the damage. Not terrible, but definitely not pretty. I’m pumping gas and simultaneously trying to feed my overtired screaming toddler cheddar bunnies so she will settle. The screaming kid probably didn’t help the onlooker situation. I don’t even care, I just power through so we can get home for nap.

We finally make it home, I look back, and she’s asleep. Not good. It’s still drizzling and I waddle up to the house with her bundled in my sweater. I change her, get her settled, give her some milk and put her down for a nap. We’re both exhausted and she only slept for maybe 5 minutes in the car. Surely she’ll take an actual nap? HA! Nope! She’s wide awake and bouncing around the crib. I give it some time before giving up and taking her out. Nap time is definitely not happening today.

So here I am- waving the white flag and fighting to stay awake until my husband gets home to take over. She’s climbing on me like a jungle gym, watching Ms. Rachel, and littering my living room rug with crushed cheddar bunnies. We’re definitely ordering pizza tonight.

Send thoughts and prayers 🫠