I’m a single father to a 2 month old boy. He’s my absolute world, but I do crave some adult interaction. I think it’s been hard for me because a lot of my friends have gone off to college etc and now I don’t have much aid in that regard.

Honestly, I don’t know if this is a great place to put this but I’d just love to have a few people in the same boat I can talk to.

My 12 year old nibling is with me full-time now and yesterday was their first day of school. I didn't realize how emotional it would make me. I have a remote job but I also have an in person office and can go in when I choose. I chose to go in yesterday because I'm behind on some work and was hoping I could catch up. I ended up keeping my office door closed most of the day because I was sobbing. I was exhausted. Not enough sleep (maybe fell asleep around 11pm) and up at 4:45am to help nibling get ready for school. Their school starts early and so their bus comes early (around 6:45am). I hardly got anything done at work yesterday and I was worried about nibling at their first day. My mom (raised nibling from birth until now) stayed with us from last Thursday until this morning. Her being here was somewhat helpful - with cooking and dishes and just having another adult here so I'm not the sole adult. But she has an awful temper, projects her anxiety onto nibling, and has a generally negative attitude. Before I left for work yesterday she said "you're wearing that??" So it's confusing to have her for here for help, I love her but also she can be very hurtful. And I'm constantly on guard to protect nibling when ever mom goes from 0 to 100 out of nowhere.

Now it's Tuesday and I'm exhausted. I got better sleep but not enough still. Maybe fell asleep around 10:30/45pm and up at 4:55am. When I got nibling to the bus stop, they were feeling nauseous and like they were going to throw up. I suspect maybe anxiety and I feel like I wasn't helpful. I said to take deep breaths, breath the fresh air. Talked with them about their tv show and they lit up a bit. But then once on the bus they were texting me they feel really sick. I said they're probably tired and it can feel like that in your body when tired. I said to drink water and eat their granola bar. They said "trust me, that isn't going to help."

The last 2 year of school when they were with mom they missed school frequently due to nausea (I think anxiety and not getting good sleep). I don't want to set the precedent that nausea means you get to escape whatever is making you uncomfortable. But I also don't want to dismiss her and leave her to deal with it all on her own. I know it's the first week of school and we're both getting used to this new routine. They're also in a new city in a bigger school.

I'm just so exhausted and I start grad classes tomorrow (working toward my CPA) and I'm still worried about when I will get the brain processing power I need to catch up at work let alone take on studying.

I suspect I have ADHD and that thus far in life - I've been able to kind of coast by without medicine because my life was flexible enough. I spent 2 hours down a rabbit hole trying to find a doctor - with no success.

I am just TIRED and EXHAUSTED.

How do single parents do this?? When also working full time, having virtually no support system, and going to grad school, and possibly having ADHD???????

Background:

My son was 2 when his dad and I split and has lived with me the entire time since. His dad moved back east and has prioritized himself and career over his kids which was frustrating but just as well. His dad recently remarried a woman who is well connected faculty and a prestigious university. My son is high school age started his junior year and he made the decision to move with his dad to try to capitalize on the benefits of step moms connections for his future schooling. It was hard for me because his dad has never been supportive of the person my son is and my son is always miserable there but the decision was made with maturity and motivated by future goals. I decided to allow the move and made sure the updated custody agreement allowed for him to return should he decide to. At that time I had said to my son I'd like him to complete a semester because I wanted to deter hasty and emotional decisions.

He left mid July and has been struggling. Some of the things to know is my son is very sweet, sensitive, kinda science nerd and musician. He's not a sports guy and my ex is. And that's what he wants his son to be. My son has expressed a lot of sad feelings to his sister (older, living here) and I talk with him but he kind of down plays it for me. He's supposed to be getting therapy but that hasn't been started so I had already brought that up to his dad recently.

TODAY:

Today I find out he was taken to the ER for being suicidal.

And my ex...? Never told me. No call no text. Nothing.

I texted him. He tells me he was too busy to let me know. I beg your pardon?? Oh he was working so he didn't have time to tell me. I told him that needs to happen immediately from him or step mom and I should be a part of that discharge planning.

I can't tell you how angry I am right now.

Livid. Absolutely LIVID. I'm so ready to take him back home. His sister wants him here. His grandpa. I do. His dad doesn't deserve him.

Thanks for reading.

I’m a 19 yr old single mom with a 1 year old daughter and my baby dad left officially a week ago… I’ve not been handling it well mentally I’ve barley got sleep (averaging 5 hours a night) I can’t bring myself to eat actual meals I’ve been surviving off peanut butter crackers and tea and it just feels like I’m a childcare robot everyday… I love my daughter to death and ik if I don’t fix my mental health it’ll start affecting her too but I don’t know how and I don’t wanna be put back on antidepressants because they never work :/ if your mental health was like mine please give me advice on how to get better (I don’t have enough money for gas right now so getting out and doing something is not a option sadly)

I'm a single dad in my late 40's and my daughter is 10. I have full custody of her and her brother (14). As she's gotten older, she's started to become very harsh, demanding, ungrateful and rude. Since the start of 4th grade, getting her to go to school has been getting harder and harder and this year (5th), she's been begging to skip school, trying to fake being sick, etc etc. To the point where she has screamed she hates me, I'm the worst dad ever, I'm never going to speak to you again, etc etc etc... Those phrases aren't limited to going to school either, and she seems to be struggling with controlling her anger and frustration in general. If anything goes a little bit sideways, she'll melt down and lash out at me, even if I had nothing to do with it.

I've talked to her about school, if anything is going on to make her not want to go, are people mean to her, etc, but she just says 'it's boring' and 'she wants to stay home and do what she wants to do'. I've spoken to her teachers last year and this year, and the feedback I've gotten every time is that she is a delight to have in class and they're not seeing any bullying or anything like that.

I lost my job a few months ago, so I have no insurance to go to therapy or seek out help via that method for the time being. I'm completely mentally exhausted and feel myself shutting down at times, and to be honest, I'm scared. I want to be a good parent and help her, but I feel like I'm failing.

I do my best to stay calm, talk things out with her, and I have a hunch I'm too lenient. I've always preferred to talk things out and avoid any major punishments if my kids show they understand what they did wrong and make changes, but that not working anymore with my daugher. I've developed a bad habit of threatening a punishment (i.e. no electronics for x amount of time), and then not following through or cutting it short. It seemed to have worked well with my son, but not so much my daughter.

Other than venting a bit since I can't afford therapy, the point of this message is to see if anyone has experience in changing their parenting ways this late in the game? I'm scared that changing up on my daughter now and stating clear expectations and rules + sticking to punishments no matter what, will push her away from me and make her hate me more. I'm worried that it will set her to avoid me, seek self-harming behavior or act out in worse ways than she already is. I feel like the answer is staring me there in the face, but I'll be 100% honest, I'm scared and exhausted and just looking for some friendly advice from other single parents.

tldr: Having behavior issues with my daughter, I think it might be because I've been too lenient on (reasonable) rules and punishments, and I'm scared to switch it up now that she's already 10. Any advice on how to do it, if it's not a great idea, or other ideas/advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you!

I (35M) have been single for nearly two years and have shared care of my two boys, one of whom is neurodivergent.

I came out of a long-term relationship (14 years) after being cheated on and abused, but I was too dumb (and autistic) to do anything about it until I eventually got kicked out of the house so her new partner could move in.

Nearly two years later, after some therapy and a load of fun memories with my kids — including a trip to Cyprus last week (highly recommended, lovely place!) — I'm thinking about getting back out there again.

I'm happy on my own and with my kids, but I'd also like to have some company rather than spending my kid-free time watching episodes of The Mentalist and Marvel movies.

I just wanted to know how people have found getting back out there again, and what the best way to go about it is since I'm kinda new to this.

TIA 🙂

I’m a single dad and I have my son (7) 99% of the time. His mom decided that she would only spend time with him when her work schedule allows (she’s a doctor), which is next to never, despite the fact that I’ve lost count on the number of times she’s FaceTimed him from some vacation she’s on saying “look where mom is! Look what I’m doing! Ohhh I miss you so much”.

She sees him maybe once every two or three months for a few days at a time. I feel bad for even saying this because he’s such a good kid and, for all intents and purposes, we live a comfortable life but mentally, I’m struggling. We have no family here and it’s just me ALL of the time. My son is lovely but I’m so tired of having to always make decisions, do all the running around, engaging even when I just want to be silent, doing my best to keep my patience even when I’m frustrated, always taking care of the household, trying my best every day to raise him right, the meal prep which I struggle with. He talks CONSTANTLY, even when I tell him I just need a few minutes of silence, he won’t stop talking. Because it’s just him and I, he always wants my attention, even when I try to distract him with something else that engages him, he wants me to be there with him. He still comes to my bed in the middle of the night so I lose any proper sleep after about midnight, so I’m always exhausted. I have a few hours in the day when he goes to school but it always feels like I have to choose between the things I want to do because I only have limited time. I feel like my diet is a mess and cooking has always been challenging for me and a high stressor but I do it because it’s important and I try my best. I can hire a sitter occasionally but it’s so expensive. We spend time with friends but even when we do I’m always in dad mode so I can never fully relax.

All I can do is take pride in the fact that he’s growing up so well. I love him so much and he’s my whole world but I wish I could focus on me from time to time. The single parents I’m around here have set schedules where their kids see both parents equally. Even if I had that, at least I could count on the days when I know I’d have time to focus on myself. I don’t have a career and even though we’re financially okay for now, I’d give anything to build a career for myself so I’d have something I can be proud of myself for. I feel like a such a loser because I don’t have a career I can call my own and one day he’s going to want to know what I do, how can I explain that to him without him thinking I’m a failure? I have a dad bod and I just want to get in shape but I feel as though I’ll never be able to. I can’t date, because I never know when I’ll have time, heck I can’t even find the time to actually meet anyone to date, and I can’t even progress the way I want with hobbies I do have because I can’t practice as I’d like to.

All this being said, I’m a naturally patient person. I know this all won’t last forever and I’m okay with that. He’ll grow more independent and it pains me to know he won’t need me in the same ways at some point. I just feel as though by the time he gets there, my best years will be behind me. I’m already in my 40’s and I’m beginning to feel my age.

Meanwhile, it absolutely sucks because I have to be the one to console him when he talks about how much he misses his mom, when she won’t even answer his calls sometimes. I still have to coparent with her, which I do well, even though she was the one that had a two year long affair which I’m still carrying the scars from. And I have to do all this while she gets to live her life to the fullest in plain view of him and I.

I’m seeing someone professionally so none of what I say ever makes me spiral to the point where I’m not functional, because shutting down is something I literally cannot afford to do with him. Even though I have help to cope mentally, the feeling of sadness is still there. I feel sad. I have no one to talk to about any of this stuff and no one ever asks me how I’m doing because from the outside looking in, I always look like I have it together and I’m always composed, so no one ever thinks to ask me if I’m okay. I’m just so sad. Today is the first time since I can’t remember when, that I actually feel like crying. I cry at movies and sad songs but I never just cry because I feel sad. I want to cry right now because I feel sad but I don’t have the energy to explain to him in a healthy way, why I’m crying. Even as I type this, I’m sitting on the couch with him while he watches his cartoons and because he sees me typing, he’s been constantly trying to “snuggle” so he can see what I’m doing. I can’t even vent to internet strangers in peace.

I guess I just needed to vent. I feel so alone and yeah, I’m just really sad today.

Edit: I just wanted to edit the post to say thank you to ALL of you who commented. I appreciate every kind word and all the helpful suggestions. Even more, I appreciate the show of support. I'm sure everyone in this situation has moments where they feel isolated in their own journeys, so knowing we're not alone is truly reassuring. Thank you all!

I recently just signed a lease for two years, We have not moved yet but I am getting everything in order I looked at schools prior to applying and saw three that were within at most 8 minutes away, which worked with my work schedule. Now upon actually looking at each individual school and what they need for KK enrollment, Two of the three schools are out of district. I called the school to see if they would let child attend, it was a hard no. The closest school in district is 11 mins away minimum, I wfh and tend to go get my child on my last break which is only 15 minutes There would be no way for me to get child even if I tried to go on my lunch break I would essentially have to check my child out everyday which I know is frowned upon.

I contacted the bus transportation, as a back up plan even though I really would like to wait on riding the bus as he has never done that before but when calling they could not find future address as a stop I am currently waiting for someone to call me back on this. I just can’t help but to feel like I was doing something good for us now to find out I may have royally screwed up.

I really need other parents’ opinions because I’m struggling with what the right decision is, especially because I have a 4-year-old daughter who already struggles with anxiety and gets very attached to people.
I’m 30F and my boyfriend is 41M. One thing I want to explain upfront because it’s important: my daughter has known him for about a YEAR, but he and I have NOT been dating that entire time. But he’s a known person and will continue to be.

He actually works maintenance where we live, so before anything romantic ever happened between us, my daughter already knew him and was used to seeing him basically every day. He was already a familiar person in her environment. There was never anything romantic happening in front of her, and when we eventually started dating, we still weren’t being romantic around her.
So this wasn’t a situation where I started dating a random man and immediately introduced him to my daughter. She already knew him and was comfortable with him long before our relationship changed.

That’s part of what makes this harder for me.
My daughter already deals with anxiety, and I’m very conscious of stability and people coming in and out of her life. She’s used to him being around. At the same time, I know staying in an unhealthy relationship just because my child knows or likes someone isn’t the answer either.
The relationship itself has gotten to the point where I genuinely don’t trust him.

And I REALLY want to emphasize this because I feel like it’s the biggest issue: **I have found deleted/hidden conversations with other women from dates when he and I were absolutely together.**

Not broken up. Not “it’s complicated.” Not taking space.
**Together.**

I actually went back through my pictures and messages to double-check the dates because I wanted to be fair to him. There were conversations with women from August 2nd and 3rd, for example, and we were completely fine and together during that time.

But I couldn’t actually read what was said because he hides his phone from me and will physically snatch it away if I start looking at his messages.
That’s a HUGE part of why I’m suspicious.

He is extremely protective of his phone around me. If I have it and start going anywhere near his messages, he takes it back immediately. I am NOT allowed to actually see these conversations and understand what the context was.

Yet he has gone through MY phone extensively.
More recently, we were laying in bed together when a Facebook Messenger notification from a woman popped up. I saw the message with my own eyes:
“I love you too, thanks babe.”
Obviously I immediately asked who she was.
He said she lives in California, has a fiancé, and they’re basically just friends/acquaintances. He told me he’s sent her money for coffee before.
But his reaction is what I cannot get past.
He immediately said something along the lines of, “Oh shit, I need to delete that.”
I said, “Okay, then let me see the conversation before you delete it.”
**He said NO.**

I asked him again to just show me the conversation. He refused and said he was going to delete it because “it isn’t important.”
That’s what makes absolutely NO sense to me.
If your girlfriend just watched another woman tell you “I love you too” and call you “babe,” and there is a completely innocent explanation, why wouldn’t you just show her the conversation?
Especially when she’s literally asking you to see the context BEFORE you delete it?
Instead, he refused to let me see it and deleted the conversation right in front of me.
I ended up messaging the woman myself because I wanted to understand what the hell I had just seen. She told me he had congratulated her on a post involving her and her fiancé. Then she got extremely defensive, told me never to contact her again, and blocked me on everything.
Maybe she simply wanted absolutely nothing to do with someone else’s relationship drama. That’s completely possible.

But I still don’t know what their actual conversation said because **he made sure I couldn’t see it.**
There’s also another woman, Kacey, who was part of the deleted messages I originally found. I recently found that he’d messaged her “happy birthday” and then later asked, “Are you still mad at me?”
He says she’s just a friend.
Okay… then why hide the conversation? And why are you concerned about whether another woman is still mad at you?

Then today we were in the car and he was doing something on his phone. I looked over and he immediately exited whatever he was doing.
I asked what he was doing and he said Maps.
I asked for the phone and looked at the open apps. Maps was there. I will 100% admit that I could be overthinking that specific incident because he could genuinely have just been looking at Maps.

But then I went into Facebook Messenger.

He immediately **snatched the phone out of my hands.**
That’s the pattern that bothers me.
It’s not simply “my boyfriend values his privacy.”
It’s that I’ve already found questionable/deleted conversations with women **while we were in a relationship**, I’ve literally watched another woman call him babe and say she loves him, and when I ask to see the context, he refuses, deletes it, hides his phone, or takes the phone away from me.
Meanwhile, the rules seem completely different for my phone.

And I want to be transparent about my own behavior because I don’t want advice based on half the story.
We broke up for a couple of days recently. We genuinely thought we were DONE and weren’t talking. During that breakup, I texted an ex because I was upset and wanted someone to talk to. I later deleted those messages.
My boyfriend went through my phone and searched basically everywhere until he found them. He found the guy’s number and actually contacted him himself.
So yes, I understand why he was upset about that, and I’m not claiming I’ve handled everything perfectly.
But **we were broken up when I sent those messages.**

That’s the distinction that keeps bothering me.
Some of the conversations I’ve found on HIS phone are dated during times when we were absolutely together.
And somehow he can search through my phone until he finds deleted messages, but when I try to see conversations on his phone, he snatches it away before I can read them.

He gets angry and says things like, “You always think I’m fucking doing something.”
But I’m sitting there thinking… how am I supposed to STOP thinking something is going on when you won’t let me see the exact conversations that are causing the problem?

He insists he doesn’t cheat. He says that’s not who he is.
Maybe he’s telling the truth about physically cheating. I genuinely do not have concrete proof that he’s slept with another woman.

But I’m starting to wonder if I’m focusing way too much on proving “cheating” when the actual problem is that I don’t trust him anymore.

And then there’s my daughter.

She already has anxiety. She knows him. She likes him. She’s used to seeing him because, again, he was already around our apartment community and part of her normal environment before we ever dated.
That’s honestly one of the reasons this hurts so much.
Part of me thinks, “What if I’m wrong? What if I end this, my daughter loses another familiar person in her life, and I blew up the relationship because I was insecure?”
But the other part of me thinks my daughter needs a mother who models what a secure, healthy relationship looks like.

I don’t want her growing up thinking love means constantly wondering who someone is talking to, checking dates, finding deleted conversations, being told you’re crazy or suspicious, or watching someone hide their phone from you.
I also don’t want my anxiety about my daughter losing that familiarity to become the reason I tolerate things I otherwise wouldn’t tolerate.
I’m honestly exhausted.

Would you end the relationship based on the secrecy and lack of trust alone, even if you couldn’t prove physical cheating?
And how would you handle it with a 4-year-old who already knew and cared about this person BEFORE the romantic relationship even started?
I genuinely want honest opinions because I feel too emotionally involved to know whether I’m seeing this clearly anymore.

It’s hard too because he’s nice to me and treats me well.

Buckle up because this is a long one. I (32F) have been co-parenting with my ex (37M) for over a year now. To ensure my identity stays a secret as my ex is on here a lot I am changing some details.

Back story: we have been separated for well over a year, I left him due to a long list of issues which included a lot of cheating on his part, gaslighting for many years, verbal abuse and so much more.

My ex has been with another woman for almost a year (yes they met relatively quick after I had separated from him) and I had kept my distance for some time. Me and ex and I co-parenting relationship is a lot of ups and downs constantly. However, my ex lies about everything even when we were together. He can’t help and just constant lies about everything. Not only that but he still tries to sleep with me and there is a lot of back and forth. He also is inconsistent with the kids, puts her before the kids a lot, and doesn’t seem to make much of an effort and blames it on our dynamic. He also has said some things about her and her past which caused a lot of red flags and he seems to have completely morphed into her world. He lives with her because he can’t afford his own place, she takes him to all his appointments, etc. she also cheated on her boyfriend with him. For the most part when it comes to the kids we are okay and we are finally hitting a point where things are settling down.

My ex and I share 50/50 right now and he comes over to be with the kids 3 times a week no over nights and no weekends. And I primarily pay for everything and ask for money when needed.

Recently an incident happened and I think I had responded not the most correct way as my ex and I are very blunt with each other and sometimes I am not always the nicest. Yes we both have some anger problems at times and he can frustrate me to the max. With that being said his girlfriend decided to reach out to me about the incident that occurred and how she did not like how I responded to the incident. I agree I could have been nicer and I did apologize but I was kind of freaking out because this accident left my ex in a situation where he cannot fully take care of our kids. (I will not state the incident that occurred due to privacy). With that being said me and his girlfriend exchanged some words and I felt extremely disrespected as she was assuming things about me and I was assuming things about her. I don’t hate her but my one boundary was I just simply didn’t want her hanging out in my house while my ex was over at my place watching the kids. He didn’t like that very much and I don’t think she did either. Mine you she is 10 years younger than my ex and does not have kids.

I have left out a lot of details as I think this would be a book. If I said all of it but our dynamic is strange and different but I do respect him and he is the father of my chillen and I want us to get along for the sake of the kids. BUT I am hurt by all of this and he is taking his girlfriend’s side. So a few follow up questions I need to ask fellow single parents who co-parent:

1. Is it reasonable for me to be upset about his girlfriend getting involved?
   
2. Did she have a right to get herself involved in this because of the response I have made?
   
3. Do you think my ex is in the wrong for allowing her to text me?
   
4. Does co-parenting get any easier? This shit is hard and constantly changing every day….
   
5. What should I do moving forward?
   
6. Was it wrong of me to not allow her in my home even before this incident? (I just didn’t want to see my ex with someone new)

A few more things I have been asking him to download the parenting app I was trying to do, I am seeing a divorce lawyer next week, and I am trying to move on. Also, this is my point of view and his point of view may be different. I have been learning a lot of this in therapy and am trying to change but my old habits and CPTSD has caused a lot of issues since we split as I did not realize how fucked yo my mental health was while I was with him. We were together for a very long time and I know he’s hurt. I do want what’s best for him but I feel like I’m going crazy for having normal reactions to things that have happened to me. I need some advice and some help!!!!!!

A few weeks back I posted in a different group about my employment (being a nanny but having to bring my 12 month old with me) search not going very well. Unfortunately, I didn’t get much advice from people in that group so maybe I figured I give it a try here.

I’m a single mother, the father and I were supposed to save up and move together. That didn’t work out, he essentially abandoned me while pregnant, and then left me to fend for myself and our kid. I had no job so my (amazing) previous employer co-signed an apartment for me and I was able to find a great apartment for my baby and I. I, of course, am taking him to court for child support but this process is so incredibly slow. So I applied for TAFDC (a government program here in Massachusetts that will essentially pay me ‘child support’ but take the dad to court to repay them back). I’m still waiting to hear back from them but on to the issue.

Since I was having such a hard time finding employment after maternity leave, I applied for unemployment to help get me through. All was going fine and dandy - I was still looking for work with no luck - but it ran out the first week of August. Luckily I had a part time job to help me with some of the bills but the family also stated that since school was starting back up again and they financially couldn’t afford a nanny anymore that my last day would be the 31st. The mom has been kind enough to post on FB groups as a recommendation, I get some inquiries here and there but eventually they decide to go a different route or they didn’t read the part where I would have to bring my son with me. So as you can see I’m in a predicament, life just keeps getting worse and worse.

I can’t find a childcare job (mainly nannying) because families don’t feel comfortable with me bringing my son - which I totally understand - and I’m trying to find daycare jobs but they pay little (I was making $35 an hour previously and daycares only want to pay roughly $25 hourly) plus ask for a crazy amount if I want to bring my son or they just don’t have space for him.

I’m at my wits end here, I don’t have rent money for September, no prospect of a job, I’m trying to see if there are any other programs to help single mothers out there. I’m utterly and truly scared for my future and I fear I have no one to turn to. I don’t know what to do and I’m really scared, if anyone has any advice or if they’ve been through something similar and managed to get through please let me know. I need some sort of hope. Thanks in advance.

Hey everyone. One of my best friends just safely navigated her way out of a financially and psychologically abusive relationship and is starting completely from scratch in a new apartment with her 10-year-old son. I’ve always been a “girls’ guy,” and my personal love language is aggressively solving problems and fixing things. I really want to help her get set up, but I also want to be hyper-respectful of her newfound independence. I know that as a guy wanting to help, there’s a fine line between being a solid, reliable support system and accidentally overstepping or feeling overbearing to a woman fresh out of a highly controlling dynamic.

So, for those who have rebuilt their lives from zero: what kind of practical help *actually* makes a tangible difference right now? Should I straight up but gracefully financially contribute to her new start, discreetly send her grocery or store gift cards, sourcing decent furniture, focusing on getting stuff to keep hey 10-year-old boy entertained, make his room a very cozy safe space for him to scape to when he needs to or just showing up to build her IKEA dressers in silence and then immediately leaving? I’d love your straightforward advice on the best ways to offer real, functional support (money, kid stuff, house stuff) without making her feel smothered or like she's a project. What do you wish a handy friend had done for you in the early days?

Ladies, I feel I should also add - I am gay AS FUCK. This is not a creep trying to get some by taking advantage of a fucked situation. Despite my deep love for the d I am "masculine" (whatever the hell that means) so I can quite literally just be the muscle when needed. Or the bodyguard. Or the on-demand male role model adjacent figure... Whatever. The point is, I know she needs help but I also know I'm still a dude presenting dude and that works against me right now.

I love my husband, but as of late I’ve been wondering if it would simply be easier to be single.
He’s a good man, and a good dad. He does everything I ask of him. He works less so I can work more.
Idk what’s wrong with me. I know most women would kill for a man like him. But being around him just pisses me off. He’s always in my space, always wanting access to my body. I can never do anything by myself, there always has to be someone there, either him or the kids. I know if we were to split we’d have shared custody, and I’m starting to think that’s the dream, just so I can just have some time to myself.
We also live in a small house on his parents property, it’s janky and there’s always something wrong with it. I’m just dreaming of a little rental that I can fill with my things, cook the food that I want and not clean up after anybody else.
Did anyone else feel this way and left? Is it better or worse? Don’t sugar coat it either

Solo parent here, kiddo goes to school he's 5 so in prep 9-3 sees his mother supervised each Thursday from 3.30 -4 and 9-4 every second weekend. How do other solo parents manage to get back into work? I've got shitty knee and ankles and trying to do study cert 3 in business. Any advice would be great 👍

call me a conspiracist or what you will but I've thought about this since the day I left my ex but what's y'all's plans if/when shit hits the fan? the government warning us of an 18 month blackout??

our original plan was to go to canada (im a citizen and have family there) but that plan is no longer plan a at this point. having to think about coparenting while the free world slowly collapses sucks.

How do you maintain a positive attitude while being everything? Hygiene helper, hairstylist, Schedule manager, private chef, personal maid, academic tutor, on-call nurse, activity planner, and boundary enforcer.

My daughter is 8, so she requires assistance or oversight with most tasks and her father lives in a different state, so he’s no help.

I do have tools in place to help ease the burden - gentle alarms to keep track of our daily schedule, timer in her bathroom, morning and evening routines taped to her mirror, and an incentivized responsibility chart.

But it’s still a lot. 50% of the time I can be all these people with grace, and 50% of the time I’m annoyed. Right now, I’m in the “this fucking sucks” percentile

The “do this, do that, don’t forget this, did you remember that, take a second look - does that look right?” Is what kills me. I hate having to ask twice or remind her to do the same thing every single day. I hate being nit-picky, I feel like a micro manager.

I love my daughter, I want the best for her. But damn, this is a lot.

Do you have any ideas on how I can maintain a positive attitude despite? Is there another perspective, something I’m not seeing?

Seeking advice. I'm based in the UK.

I am currently in the later stages of pregnancy with an unplanned baby. The baby's father and I weren't together long (only a few short but happy months) when I unexpectedly fell pregnant. I didn't think I could conceive as I had complex fertility problems and the BD left me within 4 days of me telling him because I was struggling to book an abortion. We are 35 and 40 respectively. No other kids. He did say he wanted to be a dad in the future but not like this.

He's refused to see me since I was 6w pregnant, ghosted and blocked me. I was miserable most of the pregnancy and disconnected from my baby until I began to feel him kick when my mindset shifted.

At my 21w scan I found out my baby has a serious heart problem requiring at least one open heart surgery at birth, if the baby makes it. If the baby has a serious genetic issue linked to the heart, I may have to terminate or they may be stillborn.

I don't have my exes' medical history (which doctors are asking for) and am very reluctant to bring him into the fold given how he's treated me so far. I really don't want to have to share legal parental rights with a man who doesn't even want this child to exist, and have him potentially block consent for medical treatment and go through a court process at risk of my baby dying in the process.

Do I have an ethical duty to inform him of the baby's health:
Now?
Once born?
If the baby dies?
Never unless he actively attempts to get parental rights?

My life is honestly a nightmare and I feel strongly that I need to protect this little baby from a father who has shown no care for us at all.

I’d love to hear your simple, mostly free, ways to make long lasting memories for your little family. It’s just me and my kids so some things we’ve made tradition over the years are:
*once the Christmas tree is up, before we put the ornaments on, we throw all our Christmas bears at the tree letting out our frustration that we struggle a lot during this season
*on 4th of July we cut out stars out of cardboard making stencils and use flour to make stars all over our front yard cause I can’t afford much fireworks
* we do “chicken on a plate” when I’m not feeling good. It’s just chicken nuggets and fries baked on the pan and I squirt ketchup and mustard on the pan and lay it out on a palate made in front of the tv and we have back to the future marathons.

This is mostly just a vent, I hope that’s okay.

My husband and I have been together since middle school, got married and started our family young. When I got pregnant at 17, I told him I understood if he walked away and didn’t want to be involved, as he wanted an abortion and I did not. He made the choice to stay and has been an active father to our now 5 year old, as well as our 3 year old.

It’s become increasingly apparent that he regrets his choice and resents not only me, but our kids. He’s become irritable and totally detached from us. There were more reasons, mostly related to the way he treats me which has caused my mental health to deteriorate. When I told him I wanted to separate, he didn’t care at all. All he had to say was “okay.” We recently moved across the state, away from all our family, and when I talked about moving back he said he will not be moving and he plans to stay here.

When I would ask in hypotheticals, he’s always said he would want 50/50 custody. Given the change in his attitude, I figured that wouldn’t be the case, but maybe every weekend? When he said he wouldn’t be moving back, I asked him what his plan would be for custody, and he said he’d be “fine” with every other weekend but he didn’t want any more than that. I remember once making a joke that he seemed like an “every other weekend kind of dad” and he told me that was insulting. Yet, here we are.

I’m struggling to wrap my head around how he can be a present and active father for five years, develop a relationship with the kids, and suddenly regret all of it. I can’t stop wondering if he’s always felt this way and just went with it because it was “convenient” or he didn’t want backlash from his family.. but how can someone put up a front like that for so long?

My heart is breaking for the kids. They love him, he’s all they know. I worry how they’re going to feel as they get older, if they’ll feel abandoned or unwanted.

I’ve thought about leaving him for a while now, but never followed through because the idea of being a single parent has terrified me. I have a decent career, but not quite enough to support us on my own. I have no idea what child support will be like. I don’t know what I’ll do for childcare, since his parents have been our only reliable support system, and I’m not sure how willing they will be to help me after we tell them we’re separating. I know they’ll maintain a relationship with the kids, they adore them, but I don’t know what that will look like moving forward.

It’s just so overwhelming. I know it will be worth it, and I genuinely believe we’ll all be happier once we’re on the other side of this, but I’m struggling to wrap my head around everything.

It all happened so quickly. It’s been less than two weeks, and we’re already moving out because my husband’s behavior has continued to get worse, and I just can’t deal with it anymore.

I think I’m mostly just scared of what actually comes next. I’ve spent basically my entire life with this person, and now I’m trying to figure out how to build a life for myself and my kids without him. I know I’ll figure it out eventually. It just feels impossible right now.

Homelessness won’t last for too much longer! I got a call today and it’s happening I got hired. another work from home job that starts in September and thankfully the training is in office so it’ll give me time to save a couple checks to get into an apartment. I’ll just have to figure out where my kids will be staying while I’m at work. Anyone know who can help with hotel vouchers? I’ve tried so many shelters but no luck :( I just don’t want them in the car while I’m at work. Also I lost everything after being evicted so if anyone has any clothes they no longer want. Size large please please DM me I have nothing to wear to work

Years ago before I got married and had child I made it a point to not meet people’s kids until we were serious and had been dating for awhile.

After my divorce I wasn’t all that interested in dating and refined that too 6 months. It didn’t seem that big a deal because I do week on week off parenting with my ex.

Well it wasn’t all that big a deal when I was dating people I wasn’t all that emotionally into. I’ve now started dating someone amazing who I really like and am struggling with waiting a full 6 months because I like her and want to spend time with her.

However, she vapes (nicotine) and I don’t want to model that behavior around my child. She’s working on quitting but I also know just how hard that will be for her. I don’t like the vice but while smoking is a hard no vaping doesn’t seem to bother me outside my concern for the negative health effects. So if it wasn’t for my teen seeing that behavior I don’t think I would care that much.

We’ve been dating for about 2 months right now and are on a path to a serious commitment. As lesbians we’re quite aware of the Uhaul’ing trope and doing what we can to avoid that. My 6 month rule is one aspect of that.

So assuming you had week on week off parenting how long would you wait to introduce your partner to your teen.

Single Parents who were rejected by their mother/father growing up and later having your baby daddy/mama reject and walk away from the child. How did that hit you and how did deal with it?

I am a single mom to two kids, and I work full time as a program manager to two group homes of adults with intellectual disabilities.

So... my days consist of being bombarded by 4 adults who have the mindset of young children constantly asking me for things all day, but add the inability of impulse control. (Please dont take this as me complaining about them bc they are the sweetest human beings and I absolutely adore them and love what I do) HOWEVER, I am also a manager and we have been short staffed so I have been working the floor on top of trying to do management things and my clients have the mindset of toddlers and little kids, so while I am sending emails and cooking and cleaning and making phone calls, attending meetings, and ensuring medications are good, I am being asked over and over again "can u paint my nails, can we go do this, can u help me with this" ALL day with no break, my one client will literally repeat herself 20 times and follow me all day asking me questions, and then I go home to MY kids and have the same thing from them. I do not get any breaks besides the ride home in my car. I have been so stressed lately and I normally never yell at my son but the past few weeks I have been noticeably irritated when I get home, especially with my 7 year old because he makes messes and I am cleaning all day and he is old enough to pick up after himself. He asked me yesterday "why are u so mad today" because i had asked him 5 times to get in the bath and clean his room and he still hadnt, and then I felt so bad because 1-him asking me that shows I dont typically act like that and 2- I dont WANT to act like that. I hate raising my voice and sounding mean. I am just burnt out after work and just want to sit in silence for a few hours 🙃 idk the point of this post, I really just wanted to vent. It gets exhausting being a caretaker 24/7 and never getting a break from it. Typically I only have office hours at work but 6 people quit at the same time so I have also been dealing with that too. I am tired as hell 😭

Those that are working full time and completely burned out by the weekend - what are we doing with our kids? Do you take them places? Make sure they get out?

Lately I’ve been really struggling with this and feeling severe burnout. I have no energy and need some ideas on what I can do because I don’t want my kid being a couch potato

UPDATE: Thank you for all the responses. Reading everything made me realise I’ve been doing far too much of the work to maintain a connection that he isn’t making any effort to have himself. I’ve deleted his number and I won’t be sending photos anymore. I’m not preventing him from having a relationship with his daughter, but I’m done facilitating one for him. If he wants to know how she is, see her or have pictures of her, the effort needs to come from him now.

My daughter’s dad hasn’t seen her for around 4 years.
He saw her a handful of times when she was 4–5 months old, then once when she was 3. That was the last time. She wouldn’t even recognise him if she walked past him in the street. She doesn’t remember ever meeting him.
Years ago he asked me to send him pictures of her, so I did, and I’ve carried on doing it occasionally ever since.
But he doesn’t actually ask for them anymore. He barely asks how she is or anything about her life.
What’s making me want to stop is that whenever I send a picture of our daughter, it seems to become an excuse to start some completely unrelated conversation with me.
The other week I sent him a photo of her and he literally responded with a selfie of himself.
I ignored it because… why are you sending me a selfie? I sent you a picture of your daughter 😂
At this point I feel like I’m doing the work of keeping him connected to a child he makes no effort to actually see or ask about.
I would never refuse him a photo if he asked for one. But I’m starting to think I should stop volunteering them.
If he wants pictures of his daughter, surely he can actually ask for them? And ask about her??
Would you stop?