My daughter, an 8 year old girl, was using the bathroom going number 2 at her grandma's house. Her 10 year old male cousin walked in on her (apparently the lock doesn't work) and he laughed and called their other male cousin (8) over. She got up to close the door and they fought her trying to keep it open. Grandma's was outside with the other 2 kids.

I arrived not long after it happened. She was still in the bathroom. I heard her crying but thought she was upset I brought her baby sister over (different issue).

Finally she came out and asked to go straight home so we did (we live a couple houses down the road).

She then told me what happened. I had noticed at her grandma's she smelled like poop. And sure enough there was poop over the waistband of her jeans and all over her legs and butt.

When her dad got home I told him what happened and he said it's not as a big of deal as I'm making it. His brother's friends did that to him as a kid. I pointed out that they were all boys, this was a girl against two boys, and he said I was weird for bringing gender into this because 10 year olds don't view gender like we do.

ETA this is my husbands family. His mother, and his 2 brothers' sons.

My husband & I came into the relationship with baggage - me a 3yo son, him a 4 year old husky & 2 cats. We moved together when my son was 4, married a year later. My husband doesn’t have any small children in his family so his exposure is limited. Naturally, so is his dog’s… which was clear to me when sudden movement by my son made her visibly anxious.

A month after we got married, I was working in my office while my freshly 5 year old was playing on the floor. The dog was sleeping nearby & was making strange noises in her sleep. My curious, animal loving son went to check on her & next thing I knew I hear a blood curdling scream and blood is everywhere. She bit him on the mouth out of sleep startle. He had to get stitches & we had him evaluated with a plastic surgeon to be safe. He has a permanent scar on his lip.

It was an emotional time for us & we explored options but ultimately decided to keep her with the understanding she’d undergo rigorous behavioral training & we’d keep them separated. Husband was a wreck & I had no idea what to do, I just knew I’d never see this dog the same. My son begged to keep her around too. Well.. months later I had to remind him to sign her up. Muzzles were ordered but never used. We kept them separated but the more I learned about dogs, the more I realized she has some serious behavior problems for her age. She can’t be left alone even in a room or she’ll either destroy something or pee/poop. We’ve had to get an expensive kennel because she breaks out of the traditional ones. Even with the maximum security kennels she is covered in her own drool from trying to get out, & barks the entire time. She jumps on people that come over & once calm she’s at it again. She essentially knows no boundaries.

Fast forward to today & we have a 2 month old. Pregnancy & postpartum made my tolerance for her 0. The mental load of managing the hair, drool, chasing the cats (she got hurt pretty bad from one of them defending themselves), watching what she’s getting into, and constantly being aware of where she is is so much right now. It’s only going to be worse when he starts crawling and walking. Husband isn’t aware of this because he’s never been around babies/toddlers. He got to skip all that when he came into our lives!

I know rehoming is a controversial topic, but I do regret prioritizing his feelings at a time it made the most sense to rehome. Now I feel like someone else is going to get hurt & it’s going to be my fault because I wasn’t honest. I feel like my baby won’t get to pull himself up on furniture, toddle around, drop Cheerios, squeal, fall over, and generally behave like a baby without us constantly calculating where this dog is and I don’t think husband grasps the severity of that.

My son is six and he’s been a YouTube obsessed kid for probably a year or so. Mostly gamers (Minecraft and Mario type stuff), but he’s gotten into some weird stuff and his behavior has been bratty and impatient and too much like his most watched YouTubers.

Anyway, mostly just looking for reassurance from those of you who have cold turkeyed YouTube also.

That’s the post.

Like seriously though, kiddo is 4. She’s barely done half a year of classes and I’ve already paid the dance school more than a thousand dollars for class fees, uniforms, class materials, etc etc etc. PLUS the recital she’ll perform in happening in a few weeks. That cost money too of course.

The teachers are wonderful and I’ve seen snippets of the classes with the older girls so it does seem like a very welcoming environment (a lot more than the ballet classes I attended when I was her age and eventually left because the older girls kept making fun of my size). But MAN. Dance is expensiveeeeeeee!!

Anyway, kiddo really loves it and she just flourishes so much when she’s in class doing her thing. So I’ll keep smiling through the glass at her and sobbing behind her back as I open my wallet. Again. Lolll

Ladies. I just need to vent somewhere and get this off my chest. And maybe have someone tell me they’ve been through it too and everything turned out fine.

My 3 year old was running around the house today, as kids do, and then slipped and smashed her face into the hard base board of the couch, followed by the most gut wrenching cry I’ve heard and lots of blood. One front tooth immediately fell out and the other one was hanging very loose.

Long story short, dentist says loose tooth is definitely coming out too and they recommend putting her under general anaesthesia and doing a cast for dentures since it’s still another 3-4 years before the adult teeth come out.

This is going to affect her eating, her speech…hubby is concerned about her getting ridiculed and teased in school about the dentures (she’s still home with me). Nevermind the trauma of probably holding her down to get the IV needle in for anaesthesia. And we’re both just so heartbroken over this. She doesn’t deserve this. No kid does.

Tell me it’s all going to be okay?!

I hear all the time that motherhood damaged their body, saggy boobs, back aches, head aches, pelvic floor dysfunction.

After all of this, what helped you get better? Hydration? Physical therapy? Anything?

I think I hate my husband. And I fucking hate that I feel this way.

I want to be a good team. I want to appreciate his efforts. I want to see him as a wonderful father. But I don't. I see glimpses that give me hope. But overall, we fight about stupid useless things *constantly*.

I'm constantly having to double check that he put the diaper on correctly, or that he's giving our one year old age appropriate foods (why do I have to keep saying no raw apple or cucumber or a whole ass pickle??!), or that he put the harness on correctly in the car seat, or that he packed what's required for a daily outing. Then 9/10 times I have to fix the diaper, fish a chunk of raw apple out of baby's mouth, tighten &/or untwist the carseat harness, repack the bag with weather appropriate clothing and enough diapers and etc etc. And his phone OH MY GOD THE PHONE for fucks sake. It seems like every day I have to tell him to put his phone down and watch the baby, then I hear the baby crying and turn around to see husband on his goddamn phone. Like hello???? Your baby is crying and reaching for you and you're too busy to notice. What the actual fuck. He also can't seem to spend time with our little one without headphones in - listening to a podcast or audiobook. The lack of ability to be present is pissing me off.

The thing is, we've been together for almost half our lives. We had an almost 15 year relationship before having a kid, and it was an amazing relationship. I genuinely thought we'd be great together as parents. We've been talking about it for years - the kind of parents we wanted to be, the parenting styles we like/don't like, what our family would be like. And like I said before, I see glimpses of this version of him, but I need more of this. I feel like I have 2 toddlers sometimes.

Anyways I just needed to rant. Please tell me if I'm in the wrong, I'd like to do what I can to make this work and to be a better parent & partner. And please share if you've been in a similar situation and what you did to make things better.

Im staying at my brothers place with my baby for 2 weeks and they have a 4year old and a 10month old. I have a 6month old. Ive been enjoying maternity leave as my baby is very chilled, peaceful and just a joy to be around. Now im not saying that it is or always will always be 'easy' with her but she is the cutest baby and laughs a lot and barely cries

Ofcourse i love my brothers kids but they are so loud.. the younger one screams sooo loud and high pitched multiple times an hour (my eardrums are ruined for life), the older one whines and complains all the time and you have to constantly tell her 'no'

Im honestly scared of ever having another baby as my brother and his wife seem so tired and exhausted all the time, im not sure they are actually enjoying life right now.

How do you mummas with more than 1 kid do it? Are you happy and enjoy your kids? Do you have fun or are you just dying inside? Ive always wanted 2 kids but oh my lord im so done after less than a week

For those of you who have experienced gender disappointment, how were you realistically able to get over it? I feel so, so guilty for feeling the way I do, but I physically feel heartbroken. I feel like I’m mourning something I never had and that’s really troublesome to me.

I was obviously wanting a girl this time around. I wasn’t letting myself even fall to the idea that it could be because I just knew it would be a boy and I didn’t want to be in the position I’m currently in.
My husband got exactly what he wanted, again, and I’m trying to just be happy with a healthy baby. And I’m very happy that we’re blessed with another baby, but we agreed this was our last one. We had one more shot. I feel like such an a-hole for feeling this way. But I can’t stop my tears when I think of the experiences I’ve been so excited about since I was young, knowing I’ll never have them.

3 boys will be fun. Exhausting, but fun. I know I need to look at the positives. But I just feel lost right now. Sorry for the dramatics - I know I’m not the only one to go through this by any means.
My oldest son wanted a baby sister so bad. I’m really not looking forward to telling him he’s going to have another baby brother 😅😂 he might take it harder than me!

Edit: I also had a miscarriage (too early to tell gender) when my second son was 6 months old. I will always wonder if that was “my girl” or not. So I’m just in my head a little extra about it.

I see so many online conversations about how hard labour and childbirth are, but why does barely anyone talk about how awful pregnancy itself can be? 😭

Constipation is driving me insane. I’ll go multiple days without being able to go at all. My stomach blows up like a balloon. And when I finally do need to poop, I’m scared to push too hard. I genuinely don’t know what else to do.

How many kids do you want/ have and where do you live? (Like city or rural, what state if the U.S)

I’m just curious if it’s true that people in cities tend to have 1-2 kids versus in rural areas people tend to have 3+

Hey moms! Trying to get some input on what’s considered normal and what isn’t.

My girl is 2.5 and started in a new Casa room at the beginning of the month with the older kids. It’s the same daycare, but this room has an 8:1 ratio, with 24 kids and 3 teachers. The class goes from 30 months up to just before preschool age.

On her first day in the new class, she came home with two deep scratches on her arm. We didn’t say anything because kids will be kids, and my daughter has scratched other kids a handful of times too.She was then off for a few days because she was sick. The second week back, she came home with a huge scratch on her face. She told me “Bobby” scratched her. This was the same name she gave us the previous week. My husband picked her up that day and asked what happened. One teacher said she didn’t know, and the supervisor suggested that she may have hurt herself while opening a lid.

The following day, I went in and spoke with the supervisor about the repeated scratches and the fact that my daughter was consistently saying “Bobby” scratched her. What really surprised me was that the supervisor told me there was no Bobby at the school. I know for a fact there was a Bobby in her previous class, and I had been told he moved up to this room a few months ago. The supervisor continued to deny it, while also reassuring me that everything was fine.

Fast forward two weeks to today. My daughter came home with another deep scratch on one side of her body and three noticeable pinch marks on the other side.My husband asked the teachers and supervisor what happened, and all three said they didn’t see anything and that it must have happened recently.When she got home, my daughter told me she was sad and cried at daycare. She even said she hit a wall and cried.

At this point, I’m pretty upset. I completely understand that toddlers will have conflicts, scratches happen, and no daycare can prevent every single incident. My concern is that every time my daughter comes home with an injury, nobody seems to know what happened.
If another child hurts her, I’m not expecting the daycare to magically prevent every incident. But I would expect the teachers to have some awareness of what is happening in the room, especially when there are multiple visible injuries.

For moms who have kids around this age:

• Is this considered normal in your experience?
• How often does your daycare have no idea how an injury happened?
• Would you be concerned about the repeated unexplained injuries?
• How would you approach the daycare/supervisor about this?
• Is there anything specific you would ask them to do going forward?

I’d really appreciate hearing other moms’ experiences before I decide how strongly to escalate this. Thank you !!

Update - thanks for all the responses everyone ! I’m reading them all .. very helpful ! Plan to respond to everyone as soon as I can ! The thing is I can’t easily leave the daycare . I’m from Ontario Canada and daycare spots are so limited here . Going email the daycare to see what they say and take it from there . Any more red flags and we have some serious decisions to make . Def feels nice to know I’m not overreacting here and others feel the same .

I always wanted to be the family that ate together every night, but it’s admittedly really hard to come up with adult meal plans every week that my kids (6, 6, 3) will also eat. I just can’t be bothered a lot of the time. It’s so much easier to make them kid meals and then figure something else out for my husband and I. We try to do at least one dinner all together a week so that makes me feel better. Just wondering what others do, and if you do eat together most of the time, what are you making that the whole family can/will eat?

Remember that haze after giving birth? How scatterbrained you might have felt for weeks or months after?

I thought that had gone away now that my toddler is 18 months old and I decided to go back to work a few weeks back. I thought enough time had passed.

Every day since going back, I feel like a bumbling idiot instead. I feel like I’m less intelligent, less socially capable, my executive functioning skills are worse, my short term memory is garbage and I can’t seem to get myself organized. And all that stuff is really important since I am a teacher and I’m just failing at it all, at least compared to how I used to be.

Did any of you experience this when going back to work? Did it get any better?

It still feels like such a weird dream, going from finding out I’m pregnant to slowly adjusting to all of this. I’d heard so many stories about how hard pregnancy and birth can be, and I really thought I was prepared mentally. Turns out I’m not nearly as strong as I thought I’d be.

I know I’m lucky. My morning sickness isn’t nearly as bad as what some people deal with. Even so, I keep realizing pregnancy really feels like this quiet battle you fight mostly by yourself. Is it hard? Yeah. I almost didn’t even want to type this out, but I’m scared I’ll forget exactly how this feels once the baby gets here.

I feel like I’ve lost control over my own body. Random bouts of hunger, nausea out of nowhere, my belly changing, and I’m constantly exhausted. My mood is all over the place. I knew going into this there would be body changes — weight gain, not feeling put‑together, losing that freedom I used to have. Still didn’t expect how non‑stop the discomforts would be this early. Stomach aches, lower back pain, peeing all the time basically summed up my first trimester. It’s either bloating or awful acid reflux and heartburn. I’ll get this shaky starving feeling, eat a couple bites, then immediately feel bloated and gross. Constant headaches, dizziness, just worn out all the time.

I only throw up once in a while, so everyone keeps telling me how great I have it. I just don’t bother bringing up the rest. What’s the point? It would just make other people worry. And I keep wondering what new aches and annoyances are waiting for me in the second and third trimesters.

And that’s just my body. The emotional stuff hits so hard out of nowhere. I get these random low moods I can’t explain. Little comments or small things hurt way more than they should. It’s like I barely have a grip on my own feelings anymore. I can fall apart over tiny, stupid little things. If I say how I feel, I just sound petty. I feel so fragile these days. I keep trying to pull myself together, trying my best to stay in a decent headspace.

I also can’t stop thinking about labor or a c‑section. I keep thinking about how brave you have to go through that. How painful it must be, how stripped of dignity you feel in that moment. Those thoughts make me so anxious. Becoming a mom isn’t just your body changing. Your emotions, your mindset, who you see yourself as — everything gets turned upside down and you have to piece it back together. The whole world keeps moving like normal, meanwhile I’m changing in every single way, and a lot of these feelings have nowhere to go.

I’m not trying to complain or be dramatic. I just want to be seen. I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. I just hope what pregnant people go through can be acknowledged and understood. That’s all I really want. I wanted to write this down so I can look back and remember how I feel right now years later.

That being said, it’s not all bad. There are so many sweet moments too. I’m really grateful for my baby, she's been pretty kind to me so far.

My daughter will be 10 in October. She just started 4th grade and is still such a kid, which I love don’t get me wrong, but she’s getting older and it’s still a battle to have her shower and actually wash her hair properly. She also refuses to brush her hair or have it brushed. She’s a level 6 gymnast so she needs to shower whenever she has practice, which is basically daily, and because it’s already such a battle to get her to shower (she’s getting a bigger attitude, talks back, moans and groans, etc), I don’t even bother with brushing her hair. So it’s always tangled and stringy and she’ll just tie it in a low pony for school/gymnastics and call it a day. I thought the influence from other girls at school and gym who are literally into Sephora, skincare, makeup, etc would rub off on her but it hasn’t and she just does not care about any of it. Again, not mad that she wants to be a kid, just wish she cared more about hygiene and not sure how to get her to?

My husband was supposed to take our son (3) to the doctor this morning. Little boy hasn’t been feeling well (he tested positive for strep two weeks ago and I was worried it came back) and his daddy offered to be the one to take him to the doctor because I’ve been really busy at work. He told me to make an early appointment because he had more flexibility in the morning, so I made it for 8:50. Knowing that he had volunteered for this, my husband decided to stay at his office all night and didn’t get home until 4:30 am. I had my misgivings (and I should’ve listened to my intuition) but he’s gone to bed really late and still gotten up early to make it to things before. This morning around 7:15 when I went to leave I couldn’t get my husband to wake up for me to tell him bye and remind him about the appointment. I was still trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and left a note about the appointment wrapped around the phone and slipped out. I’d like to mention that my son was still asleep at this point and we are pretty lucky because he will sleep until around 8 if nobody wakes him up, so I figured it was ok that they were both still asleep. When I got to work at 8 I texted my husband to let him know the baby’s backpack was packed and there was a fresh water bottle in the fridge in case he was able to go to daycare. No response. That’s not unusual for him so I tried to let it go. Then around 8:30 I texted him to ask if he was up. No response. At 8:50 I texted him again to see if they’d made it. No response. At 8:55 I called the doctor’s office to see if they’d checked in and the girl said they had not. I started to panic because my son was probably awake and if his daddy was still asleep that hard then he was basically alone. I called my husband, he didn’t pick up. I called again, nothing. It’s 9:15 at this point and I text him to tell him I’m about to send my parents to the house to check on our 3 year old son. I give him 5 minutes to tell me not to but no response. I call my dad (my parents live 10 minutes down the road and I work 30 minutes away so sending one of the was faster) and he says he’s happy to go check it out. That was at 9:30, my dad had to get dressed and drive over to the house so he gets there at 9:50. He said when he walked in there was no movement until he got to my baby’s room and he was sitting on his bed crying. My dad got him changed, grabbed a sippy cup and his backpack and took him back to their house. I let my boss know what was going on and he said I was fine to go get my child and work from home. I go flying out to my house first, throw our front door open, and start screaming. By this point it is 10:50. It scares my husband enough that he finally wakes up and jumps out of our bed and I ask him if he knows where our son is. This is then followed up by me calling him irresponsible (this is not the first time he’s stayed out late like that) and told him if he wants to be at the office so badly then he should probably start sleeping there and that he better not still be at the house by the time I got back with our son. All I could focus on was that our 3 year old was essentially by himself for an hour and it would’ve been longer if my dad hadn’t been able to go get him and there are so many things that could’ve gone very badly in that time. Did I overreact?

I’d like to note that I do not think my husband is cheating on me and that isn’t the point of this story anyway.

TLDR; my husband volunteered to take our 3 year old to the doctor in the morning while I was at work, then stayed out until 4:30 am and was asleep so hard that my child was basically home by himself for about an hour and I lost my shit on my husband when I could finally get back to my house.

I work 4 days a week in the office. I am about a year post partum, have been back in the office for 5 months, and I'm running into the problem where I have a lot of downtime in the office, and the old things that used to get me through the day before baby (reading, scrolling, watching tv, reselling) aren't doing it. I think of all the things I could be doing at home, but I'm stuck here.

I usually do my grocery shopping online while at work and make to-do lists for when I get home, but is there anything else I could be doing that would help with home life?

Yes, I realize how privileged this sounds. I am getting paid to just be a body in a space, but I am starting to spiral a bit. I have been using PTO for days I really know will be slow, but I would rather find things to do at work that will help me feel productive.

My daughter is approaching her 4th birthday in a couple of weeks, and she still favours her father. Since she was somewhere between 18 months and 2 years old, she has had a parental preference for him. I did the googling, the research here on Reddit, and most of the time “it’s a phase, it’ll pass.” Well, here we are years later, and it’s still going strong. It’s not only annoying (today she went crazy because the man went for a gd shower), but it really hurts me. I KNOW I’m not supposed to take it personal, and I know it isn’t personal (supposedly). But damn I’d be lying if i said it doesn’t hurt. She wants him for EVERYTHING - right down to going to the bathroom (for help wiping #2) and brushing her teeth. She wants to sit by him, not me. She excludes me from things, like “me, Baba, and [baby sister].” It honestly makes me feel like shit and like I should just disappear because I’m not wanted here anyway.

To sum up what has happened today…

We had a slow morning with both my 2yo and my 4mo. The baby actually slept in today, I got my toddler breakfast. We all got ready to go to the library for story time, everything was great.

Not even 5 minutes at the library and we have a medical emergency, my toddler split her eyebrow on a table corner. Call 911 and my husband because I cannot juggle both the toddler who is TERRIFIED of doctors and the 4mo. It’s 9:30am.

Go to the hospital. 1cm gash. Deep. Needs stitches. 4mo is being an absolute trooper, but there’s one problem. I only packed 1 bottle for her and I don’t have a breast pump. She doesn’t nurse. The hospital has ready to feed formula but she REFUSED to eat it. Oh well you won’t starve.

So note to self, always pack 2 bottles of milk and have a hand pump. Kids are fine, I’m fine, husband is fine. We got McDonald’s after 🥲

So today after I picked my twins up from their dad not even 5 mins later he sends this self righteous text about the messiness of my car. It’s not that bad for starters. I’ve had worse. But I literally cart around twin toddlers who sometimes throw their food on the ground and there’s been a heat advisory so cleaning it out isn’t my top priority.

Anyways he’s all like “don’t you care about their long term health?” After mentioning all the things wrong with my car on the inside. We went back and forth for a while and he just straight up said “clean your car” like dude who are you to think you can tell me what to do anymore anyways? I’ll get to it when I get to it. They can’t get anything on the floor for they are in car seats. Idk what the issue is. It’s not a health hazard. He just nitpicks everything I do now. He recently called DCS on me claiming I’m “too impaired” to take care of the boys. Everything he does is perfect apparently and everything I do is wrong. 🤷‍♀️

Mainly just a rant, but every time I manage to get a really solid workout routine going and stay consistent in the gym for a few weeks, I end up getting sick and have to take a week off! I have a toddler ( 1.5 year old) who consistently goes to Sunday school, and I swear we're fighting a cold at least every 2 months, if not more often. 😅 Anyone else experience this? Is it normal to get sick this often with a toddler? I assume it is, but maybe I need to get better about taking vitamins.

Our son is 1.5. His doctor never performed any type of blood panel except a prick on his finger to check lead and something else (I don’t remember what it was). All I know is that it was standard practice at that visit. But my friend who has a 1 year old said her pediatrician performed a CBC blood panel as part of a routine check up. I want to switch pediatricians because I’m not a huge fan of ours but just wondering if we’re missing stuff?

Feeling embarrassed and stressed and just want to vent. I had my baby in June. We put our kid on my health plan, and decided to start contributing to a dependent care flexible savings account, or DCFSA. He starts daycare October 5. I can’t believe we didn’t realize this, but my benefits end on 9/30 and resume 10/1, so we’ve been contributing to this account and we will have nothing to spend the money on. It can’t go towards the deposit, because the plan will only cover “services rendered”. I think this is where our math failed us. The account currently has about $1550, and only $660 will roll over into next year’s plan on October 1. Never mind the fact that I will be on unpaid leave for the month of September, so I have to pay for my benefits out of pocket this month, including this FSA that I CANNOT use. I’m sick over this. Learn from my mistakes. If you think you’re being very careful and methodical while planning out your benefits, just dial up the intensity one notch.

Is it just me, or is there something about becoming a first-time parent that makes you suddenly have zero tolerance for your own parents’ BS?

Pre-baby me was able to shrug things off or laugh at their idiosyncrasies…things would annoy me but ultimately weren’t a big deal. Nowadays I feel myself wanting to say STFU all the time.

It’s frustrating because I love them, and I’m close with them, and they’re good to me/us. But there’s a part of me now that that is so irritated by them and I can’t figure out if it’s because I’ve naturally changed or what. It’s pretty interesting how much the dynamic shifts once you have your own baby