I need an outside opinion, because this is the first time this has happened to me in my life and i don't know how react for this. I am a F(40 yo), my partner a M(40 yo). We met 3 years ago and living together for 2.5 years. We have 7 months old baby, and i also have a child from my first marriage (10 yo), he loves him and raises him as his own son. Our characters are similar - he explodes easily, but quickly calms down, I am also impulsive, but if there is a quarrel, I need more time to cool down. Despite our two hot-tempered characters, we have a fairly peaceful relationship, after quarrels we discuss everything, apologize if necessary, seek a compromise, because we understand our shortcomings. Every day we have a lot of laughter, jokes, dances, games... And over these years we have had only 2 big scandals, and what I will describe below is the third. English is not my native language, I have been living in this country for 4.5 years, and I came as a refugee because there is a war in my country. I will note right away that finding a relationship and staying in this country was not my goal, because I have everything I need for a good life in my country, it is just extremely dangerous there, and here I really fell in love and in fact he and now our child are all that keep me here.

So, he often makes me notice that I look at my phone when we have time together. I don't think so, because if I need to do something on my phone, I do it (reply to a message, look up a product, make notes, add to calendar something, translate a word I don't know) because later I will simply forget to do it. It doesn't look like 1 hour together, I spend 40 minutes on my phone, more like a quick glance, reply to a message, maybe longer if I have to choose what to buy. Because with two children, everything flies out of my head very quickly. In addition, I try to stay in touch with friends who stayed in my home country. And my morning ritual is coffee, news and if there was shelling, then a messages to my friends whether everyone is alive. He is also constantly on his phone, playing mini-gsmes, although not when he is next to me.

Two days ago we were going to visit friends. I was cleaning the kitchen, while chatting on messenger with friends we were going to about plans, food, bbq, etc. When it was time to feed the baby, we had a conversation:

Me - can you feed the baby because I haven't finished cleaning the kitchen yet.

He - you didn't clean the kitchen because you were staring at your phone too much?

Me - don't make such remarks to me, because I will remind you about staring at your phone.

He - what are you talking about?

Me - yesterday when you were putting the baby to bed, she fell out of bed while you were playing games on your phone. So which one of us is staring at the phone? In 7 months she fell out of bed 3 times, and all of those times were with you.

Then he just exploded and started screaming at me like crazy: "Fu..k you, fu..k, you fu..ing cu..t, fu...ing tw..t, fu..k you...Why did you say that, you know I'm blaming myself for the fact that she fell. My little girl fell, I'll never forgive myself for this....When she fell, you took her from me and didn't give her back, as if she needed to be protected from me...You said that specifically to hurt me..." and so on. He broke down and screamed this while sitting in front of the child, he scared her and she started crying. Then he came up to me and screamed this in my face, until saliva was flying, he hit the wall, his eyes were bloodshot, he seemed possessed.

I note I don't blame him her fell. First time was after the birth, we both were exhausted and she was sleeping on his chest and rolled over. The second time was about 10 days ago when he didn't put the blanket around the bed to make a nest and went to talk on the phone and the third time was two days ago. Every time she fell on the carpet and apparently nothing happened to her, her behavior did not change, she ate and slept as usual. I understand that this can happen to anyone, and it happens a lot with children. I wasn't going to judge or blame him, but it looked hypocritical he was making a remark to me, but it was his staring at his phone that made her fall out of bed.

About 10 minutes later he came over and tried to apologize. But an apology in the style of "forgive me, but you..." and then shifting the responsibility for what happened to me. I don't consider that an apology. AIO? I was shocked by his reaction, no one has ever treated me like this in my life. Can a person insult and humiliate their loved one with the most disgusting words? Did I really say such a terrible thing to him and his reaction was appropriate? I'm overreacting that i don't want to accept his apologies?

My wedding happened a couple weeks ago and it went amazing. Everything went perfectly and I couldn't have asked for anything better.

There is a cousin I was having discourse with before the wedding because she wanted to hand out her invitations to her wedding in February during my wedding.

I squashed the idea but still allowed her to attend. She did wear a white dress with flowers but I don't care honestly.

The next morning I get a call from my mother from my cousin's mom being worried we didn't get her card because she didn't know who she handed it too and it had a lot of money in there, she claims 300-500. My mother and I spent 2-4 days calling and emailing people just to make sure it didn't pop up anywhere. We figured out it was in the right place thankfully since both of them were making a fuss about the card possibly missing.

Well we are doing the thank you cards and we find the card from my cousin and her family and open it. Its two gift cards from Total Wine and Pottery Barn. I've never been to Pottery Barn and I don't drink too much, but I was greatfull nonetheless. Until I noticed the pin part was already scratched off both cards and the total wine one said "Merry Christmas".

I'm not mad about the used cards, reuse reduce, recycle your heat out, but I had a feeling I should check the balances just to see how much is on each card, especially Pottery Barn is pricey and I was curious how the money was split. I'm not a superficial person but it was $80 in total.

I am now at a point where I feel like I've been gracious even letting my cousin attend the wedding after the invitation drama. And now to make me and my mom panic about cards possibly being stolen only for it to be to used cards to places I never shop at, but my cousin does.

I'm at the point where I don't want to go her wedding in February anymore but I will be regifting the cards right back. AIO?

Edit: to clarify some things; she is 28, I'm 24. And as for the money concern she works at the lab and gets paid over 100k. I do want to reiterate I'm not mad about the amount, it's just the underlying meaning and how they made it into a huge deal. They know who's family, I had several people hand me cards to me or my mother (which that is my aunts sister).

Edit 2: when the wedding drama happened, my mother asked my aunt to let her daughter not pass out invites. My aunt said "I don't see the problem with Beth handing out invitations because we are family"

Edit 3: The wedding is in a different state at least 8 hours driving. Im hesitant to spend time and money to deal with something similar at her wedding.

I sent a message asking this person to pick up a Wii game I put on hold at the library. I put this Wii game on hold for them as this is a specific game they asked for from the library so they know I did this. Today was the last day the library would put the game on hold for me and I didn’t have time to pick it up before work so I asked them to do it. Then you see what they said.

This isn’t the only person that just sends “?” To me. I don’t get it. Am I stupid? Everyone I message whether it’s friends or coworkers or anyone will always just send “?”. I don’t understand what this means. Are they confused about something? If so, what are they confused about? Does it mean they don’t want to pick the game up? Every time I just get a question mark after explaining myself I tend to just ignore it now because they won’t tell me anything else even after asking to elaborate, everyone just sends the same thing again. A question mark. What am I missing here?

I have asked everyone I know not to send me this and just say why they are confused or if they have a question about something I said.

AIO for just ignoring people after “?” Now since they won’t tell me what it means?

Does anyone else have this problem?

Clarification for the last text seen: They asked me how therapy was because they knew I was coming from that. I didn’t say anything though because I was just upset I don’t know what “?” Means.

I, (F33) met my friend (F34) back in university around 14 years ago and we have been friends since then.

I had moved away in 2019 and we stayed in touch and she even visited me (two hour flight, different timezone) and then I moved back home in 2023.

In 2023, she bailed me on twice and then in 2024, she bailed on me four times. Each time she seemingly had a new excuse for why she couldn't make it and she would literally tell me the morning off. Once she told me after I got to the place that she was not coming. It was really frustrating because it was an hour away for each of us so I had obviously left an hour before and she would have known that she wasn't going to be there at the scheduled time.

In 2025, I distanced myself because I was fed up of making plans and getting stood up. She messaged a few times asking how I was and what I was up to so I replied back and I told her I was pregnant around Christmas when I was 7 months. I wanted to tell her earlier but months went by with neither of us messaging each other so by the time I told her, it was super late.

This year she visited once to see me and my baby and it was wonderful and thus, we made a plan to go downtown which is 1.5 hours away for both of us.

I had tickets that I got as a gift for a baseball game that were around the $600 mark each. I invited her three weeks ago and she said yes.

See the photos for what ensued.

Please note that she offered to uber when the game was about to start aka like 25 mins out. But she is over an hour away.

AIO if I cut her off and block her and basically never talk to her again?

AIO my (F33) Fiancé (M34) has booked us a honeymoon / babymoon to somewhere he's always wanted to visit, and to some extent, so have I. The trip is in a few months and he has just told me that where we're going is actually where his ex fiancée now lives with her new bf, not only that but she is picking us up from the airport and she is staying in the same resort as us while we're there (not the same hotel) so we can meet up with her and she can show us around etc. AIO for saying that's not right and it should be just us two on our honeymoon, not his ex playing 3rd wheel? I'm seriously re-thinking even marrying him at this point. Are my feelings valid or am I blowing this out of proportion?

For context he has lied about her in the past, I have known about her since we got together 6 years ago but he first said she was just an old friend before I found out about a year ago they were actually engaged.

Also I am not yet pregnant (thankfully) but we had planned to start trying on the honeymoon and it will be our last big vacation before we have a family which is why I called it a babymoon too.

Perhaps I should ask -- DID I overract or was my husband trying to poison me, as this took place in 2020. Due to a lengthy divorce (all items finalized only last year), it's taken me a long time to to feel like the marriage/divorce trauma is behind me. Sorry that this is long, but I thought some context was necessary.

I (now 43F) was served with divorce papers by my now ex-husband (48M) 1 week prior to my state going into lockdown for the Covid 19 pandemic. Due to the timing, we were unable to secure a hearing with a judge to get any temporary orders in place addressing important matters like who must move out of the marital home, and who has custody of our daughter. So, for 4 months, my ex and I were forced to live under the same roof (average 3-bedroom home in the suburbs) despite a tumultuous divorce already being in the works.

About 3 months into the pandemic, I began baking/cooking a lot. Here is where things got weird and I became increasingly more paranoid that I may be in a dangerous situation. After months of very little communication outside of our attorneys, my ex husband began taking an interest in what I was drinking. An avid Pepsi drinker for our entire marriage, I had switched to a diet version of the soda in a misguided attempt to consume less sugar. He noticed. Sometime shortly after that, I enjoyed a full sugar version again and he commented on the switch again. Later that same day while my son and I were watching a movie in my bedroom, he came and offered me a Pepsi - a fountain drink from the local gas station. This wouldnt seem odd when we were in a happier stage of our marriage as we both drank gas station fountain drinks regularly. But, this was after weeks of practically no in-person communication and certainly no positive interactions between he and I. He set it down on the dresser, and I basically forgot about it as I already had beverages that I was drinking next to me on the nightstand (water and a soda). He came back to our room a bit later and asked why I hadn't drank it, so I explained that I had already had an opened soda when he offered, but thank you for the gesture. So without saying anything to our son or on any other topic, he grabbed the cup, walked out and said "I'll throw it out for you then."

Not long after that I was baking in the kitchen and had a 20 oz bottle of soda (with cap screwed on) sitting on the kitchen island next to my cookbook. I went to the bathroom and returned a few minutes later to the cap screwed off of the soda and sitting next to the bottle. I thought I was simply misremembering whether I had opened the top of it at the time, but my ex once again came into the kitchen and said "aren't you thirsty? you've had that soda for awhile, it's going to waste." I literally shrugged and told him I'd probably get to it eventually but wasn't super thirsty right then and that I had my hands full with what I was doing. He left the room only to come back maybe 15 minutes later, and sees the still-unconsumed soda. He got visibly irritated and yelled at me for "being so wasteful" and said something about how if I wasn't going to drink it he'd just throw it away for me, and then continued to pour my bottle of soda down the drain and take the empty bottle with him out of the room (instead of discarding it in the kitchen trash).

He offered me an additional soda one more time, which I simply declined to accept given how I was feeling about the situation. Some of my friends had told me to be careful about anything I eat or drink while in the same home. I wish I had been smart enough to accept and take it to be tested, but I wasn't at the time. Thankfully we were able to see a judge and create a temporary agreement for the main issues including moving and custody. I moved out on the last day of June 2020 and we've shared 50-50 custody on set schedule ever since.

Clarification: The people who were close to me were guessing that my ex was trying to poison me to either A) get rid of me entirely, or B) somehow paint me as unsuitable to share custody. No, there was no abuse on my part in the marriage. I was not an alcoholic or addict, and I always maintained a full time career until Covid layoff. Despite it being a clear-cut case for 50-50 custody, from the get go he asked for full legal and physical custody without visitations for me. That's why my friends took the odd behavior as his attempt to get rid of me. He also placed a tracker on my car (discovered by my now-husband much later), and put at least one camera in my bedroom - which became clear when he would text me about things I was doing in my bedroom with the door closed. Both of these items were used against him in our divorce trial. So, Was I Overracting when I became paranoid about living in the home with him?

I'm going to start by saying I didn't know how to title this but to give context I (21F) and my fiance (27M) have an apartment with 2 cats, a ball python and a guinea pig. He works as a produce production at a grocery store full time, hes in a freezer cutting, juicing, and all the fun stuff that ends up out front. Hes usually a 12pm-9pm shift with occasional 4am-12:30pm shifts.

I am a part timer at the same place but as a cashier, I go to school ft in college, and have an internship which I need to dedicate 20 hours weekly on top of a minimum 30 hours at work to help pay bills with him. My degree is veterinary so I'm always having some where to go.

Before I had my internship and an apartment with him, we were long distance and when we got an apartment he couldn't move just yet so I took it upon me to clean everything around the house, because it was me at the time. I didn't have cats either so it was just my snake before my parents gave me my guinea pig I had to leave behind for college. When he moved in, we split chores up equally-ish as he was working full time and I was part time still with part time school as it was winter/spring and was figuring out community college stuff. I would cook, care for mochi(snake) and then my guinea pig because they were my responsibility. I would also clean our living room, dining room, laundry, and main bedroom floor, and occasionally tidy up main bathroom (we have a 2bd 2bth apartment)

His chores consist of, keeping his desk clean in his game room, dishes after dinner, and trash. Even then, he has me put dishes up because he says he doesn't know where things go, even though we have been living here for a year. And has me refil the trash because he takes it out. I started trying to tell him to refil the trash can because it's his job to do the trash fully that includes putting a new bag in but because it was simple I rather not argue over something small so I just suck it up and do it. Same with the dishes I suck it up and put them away.

Hes always wanted kids and still does and I don't mind it if we get a proper home and I'm not busy with school. We got 2 cats because he's always wanted pet cats and I love cats and can use them as my testers when I want to learn or visually see something for my studies. I just had a rule because to get him used to it because if I'm pregnant I cannot do a liter box clean as it is a risk to pregnancy. The cats are his responsibility, which include feed them 2x a day, liter (we have a auto liter box so basically needs emptying every 2 or so weeks) and water when our fountain says its out with a bright red light. Before the automatic liter box we had a normal one and I would have to keep reminding him every week to empty it out and he would complain saying he needs help because it's heavy. So I asked dif this would help a auto liter and he said yes he will be better with it.

To this day I would have to remind him to refil it, and every time I would tell him "hey liter box is flipped(meaning it's closed and cats can't go in) and needs to be empty" and he always says "didn't know or see I'll do it rq" and does it. He barley feeds them himself, theoretically in a week time that's 14 times to fill their food bowls, 10 of them would be me and the other 4 are if I'm closing a shift at work and have him feed them at night. They get fed at 11am-12pm and 8-9pm as they eat slower at night.

When I started to get frustrated with the lack of household help was when we did a house reset because school was about to start and I want a clean home while I'm very busy. We split up all the places and things to do evenly. In the end he spent a whole day either eating on the couch, or walking around, and when he did something he goes to saying "we should work together and tag team this" even though I spent the day cleaning 3 rooms, without food or a break, and even knocked out part of his chores. When his chore was to clean the liter box and vacuum the liter that was tossed he said "ok liter box done can you vacuum since I don't know how to use a vacuum" I almost flipped and when I said its his job he got upset saying we should be working together.

Now that school started, nothing has changed chore wise, I have to beg him to clean dishes and even then they still overpile even when I haven't cooked in a bit, I feed cats almost daily, and even after 3 reminders of fill liter box, when he does it he never changes it out so he goes to work and I'm doing liter. He shrugs it off everytime and I feel like now that I'm roughly doing the same amount of work outside the house, or just straight busy, we should be equaling out chores more but he doesn't agree with it because he works 40 hours and just says "welcome to my world but I got to get up at 3am sometimes"

Am I overreacting to getting mad at that or does something need to change?

My boyfriend and I were playing around and having playful banter when out of nowhere, he got really serious and said, “I’m on my last straw with you.”

I didn’t realize he was being serious at first, so I playfully grabbed the back of his neck because he was looking down at his phone and I wanted him to look at me. I asked him, “Wait, on your last straw with what?”

He slapped my hand away, then grabbed my neck back much harder and started pressing the sides of my neck. That immediately shook me up. He got upset and asked why I was grabbing his neck like that. I instantly apologized because maybe I grabbed him harder than I intended to.

But then I told him I didn’t grab the sides of his neck and press/squeeze them the way he did to me. He insisted that I did, and I genuinely swear I didn’t. At that point I felt like he was trying to make what I did sound exactly the same as what he did.

Then he kept telling me, “Go upstairs, bro.” I kept asking why he was telling me to go upstairs and what I had done because I was confused and had already apologized.

He got up and started walking upstairs, and I followed him because I was still trying to understand what was happening. He started yelling and asking why I was following him.
As we were going up the stairs, he waited for me to get in front of him and pushed me from behind while I was walking up the steps.

That’s when I started crying because I felt like everything had escalated way beyond what happened at the beginning.
I went into the bedroom and he went back downstairs. Then he came upstairs with a bottle of water and splashed/threw it all over my body and the bed. He called me a “dumb ass,” said I was antagonizing him, and walked out.

The part I’m also confused about is him saying I was antagonizing him. Before he suddenly got serious, we were literally joking around, play fighting, and going back and forth like normal. So when his whole demeanor changed out of nowhere, I kept questioning him because I genuinely didn’t understand what had just happened or why the situation suddenly became so serious.

I wasn’t following him around trying to make him angrier or trying to keep a fight going. I was asking what I did, why he was suddenly so upset, and why he was telling me to go upstairs because the switch from us playing around to him being genuinely angry was so abrupt.

Nothing like this has ever happened between us before, which is also why I was so confused and kept trying to understand what was going on.

I know grabbing the back of his neck was wrong, even though I meant it playfully, and I apologized for it. I’m not trying to act like I did nothing wrong.

But now I’m genuinely questioning myself maybe I’m missing something?

Hey everyone, so a bit of background context:

I’m a 30yr old woman in a relationship with a 30yr old man. When i was younger (child/teen), a lot of trauma happened, a lot of creepy old men etc etc, I’m not going to go into detail on here but i just feel a certain way about creepy old men, always will. It boils my blood.

My bf has a brother who’s 45. He has been struggling to find the “right one” for ages now and tbh after yesterday, I kinda know why.

There’s a house opposite ours that has a lot of young teenage girls coming in and out constantly. They all look around anywhere between 15-20 ish.
My bf’s brother was out in the front garden yesterday and he was talking to me through the window. Next minute, a young girl who (IMO) didn’t look older than about 18, walked down the road and went into the house opposite. My bf’s brother noticed her and then ran up to the house and popped something through the door. I didn’t think anything of it and just carried on with my day.
When my bf walked in the room, he noticed his brother running back from the house with a smile on his face. My bf’s instantly got up and smiled and asked him what he was doing over at that house and his brother replied back saying “Just popped my number through the door. Saw a really really hot girl who was about 20” and my bf laughed and walked away.

I had a certain look on my face and my bf asked me what was wrong. I tried explaining to him that i found the entire thing creepy, considering his brother is old enough to be this girl’s dad. I was clearly “triggered” a little bit by this and my bf knows about my past. He seemed to think what his brother did was okay and this bothered me.

I know it’s all legal, and nothing “illegal” is happening. But i just can’t help but feel his brother has gone down majorly in my opinion of him. This sucks because i wanted to start a whole art stall with him and i’m just feeling a bit ergh about it.

AIO?

!!Posting from throwaway!! My (25M) friend and I (22F) have been friends for almost 8 years, we met through mutual friends over the internet and became really good friends ever since.

When we first met I had a small crush on him but never took it seriously because he ended up moving to a different state and I knew it wouldn’t work out plus he wasn’t interested in younger girls, fast forward to like 2024-ish he starts coming onto me sexually so we start talking to each other sometimes in that way (again NOT romantically purely sexual).

Before I move on to the next part I want to emphasize that we were REALLY good friends before things got complicated I would call that man for anything we’d be on the phone very frequently and I definitely considered him one of if not my best friend at the time.

A short while after he started coming onto me he randomly ghosted me for a bit because he got back together with his ex and only admitted to it when I texted him and asked if thats why he wasn’t talking to me, I made it clear that I don’t care abt him getting back together with her I’d just like him to let me know when he’s gonna poof out of my life for a while and everything was cool until like a couple weeks ago.

Things got extremely sexually charged and we were sexting pretty much every day every time we talked, one night i texted him something along the lines of “you’re bad for me but I really like the attention you give me” the only reason I said that was because we had a conversation a couple times about relationships and he was very blunt about using people for attention and using people for pleasure, they’ve said many times they don’t see themselves being married or settling down with anyone ever and I genuinely did like the attention!

I ended up realizing I was blocked after not hearing back for a couple days so I stupidly sent them a message on another platform saying how it was fucked up that they did this again and theyre a coward for running away from something they started seeing as theyre the one who started coming onto me and blurring the lines.

A few days later they text me back and apologize for blocking me saying they got scared because they started talking to a woman and I guess things started getting serious between them (again I had like 0 knowledge of this person besides a mention of them in passing) and I guess he either thought she would find out abt me and get mad or that he wouldn’t be able to stop talking to me sexually and also have a relationship with her

I still have no idea exactly what exactly he was scared of but either way in his message he made it clear that my friendship meant something to him and he appreciated me in his life and that he was sorry, I text him back saying that im hurt that he did that again but I appreciate his apology and thought things were ok between us again.

He continued to not respond to me and I simply asked him if he could just tell me whether or not we’re friends to which surprise surprise he did not respond, I feel foolish to keep trying to pry an answer out of him but it’s frustrating because he’ll pick and choose when to reply and I still don’t understand why he’s incapable of just being regular friends with me when we did it for so long especially when I know we won’t be together and I never expected us to ever end up together which is something that I clarified to him many times.

AIO for wanting him to just tell me he doesn’t want me in his life and be straight with me?

My boyfriend (30M) and I (27F) recently broke up after about a year together, and even though I was the one who ended it, I’m struggling with whether I overreacted.
I love him very much, and there were a lot of genuinely good parts of our relationship. I was at the point where I was seriously thinking about marriage and whether this was the person I wanted to build my life with. Early last week, he even mentioned going ring shopping.
The biggest problem throughout our relationship was his trust issues. He’s been cheated on in previous relationships, and I’ve always tried to understand where his fears come from. But over time, I started feeling like I was paying for things other women had done to him.
Over time, completely normal things started becoming reasons for suspicion.
If we weren’t spending the night together, he would sometimes randomly FaceTime me late at night. It wasn’t a normal “hey, what are you doing?” call. There would often be this suspicious, slightly angry tone that made me feel like I was being checked on or almost scolded. I would usually answer immediately, but eventually those calls started giving me anxiety because I felt like I had to demonstrate: See? I’m home. I’m alone. I’m where I said I was.
If I happened to scroll Instagram before texting him, he could get upset that I was active but hadn’t messaged him yet. If I wasn’t responding much during the workday for a few hours, his mind could go to the possibility that I had someone at my apartment. Meanwhile, I work in corporate. I’m in meetings. Sometimes I don’t text for three hours because I have a job.
Another time, I was out with friends and didn’t answer his text for a few hours. Once I responded, he FaceTimed me from the club. I immediately answered and showed him where I was. I got home about an hour later, and because one friend wasn’t in the Uber with me, he questioned whether I had secretly stopped at another man’s apartment between the time we FaceTimed and the time I got home.
One night he became desperate and frantic to go through my phone and at one point said, “Fine, let’s break up, but show me your phone.”
I initially refused because I didn’t want to establish a relationship where I was guilty until I proved my innocence. I eventually gave him my phone and obviously, he found nothing.
We also shared locations, and I started becoming hyperaware of things I never used to think about: how quickly I answered, whether I’d been active on Instagram, whether my location was displaying correctly, how long it had been since I’d texted him.
Beyond the anxiety, it honestly hurt and offended me. I was telling this person that I loved him, wanted something serious, and wanted a family and marriage. Meanwhile, I felt like I was repeatedly being treated as though I might secretly be living another life behind his back.
I didn’t want that to become my normal.
About two weeks before our breakup, I went to Hawaii with two friends and one of their moms. It was an incredibly wholesome trip. We were waking up around 6 AM and usually in bed by 11. But if I put my phone away for even an hour to enjoy myself, he’d question why I wasn’t responding, what we were doing, or whether we were meeting people at the resort. He’d repeatedly FaceTime and ask who was around me or why I hadn’t answered immediately.
The last night of the trip, he was FaceTiming me again to see what I was doing and I had enough. I was so frustrated that I finally answered almost specifically to show him how ridiculous the suspicion was. There I was, exactly where I’d said I was, sitting with my two friends and one of their moms and made him say hi to him.
He actually seemed embarrassed once he saw everyone and apologized to me saying “I don’t know why I think this way.”
When I got home, I had a conversation with him. I told him what happened while I was in Hawaii couldn’t happen again. I shouldn’t have to spend a spa-like vacation constantly reassuring my boyfriend that I’m not secretly cheating on him.
I told him clearly: if this happened again, I couldn’t continue the relationship.
About a week later, it happened again.
I had been sick for two days. He spent the first night with me but couldn’t spend the second night. The next day he came over, and instead of believing I was actually sick, he became suspicious that I was lying and that someone had come over the night he was gone because I hadn’t been answering for long periods of time.
It escalated to him going through my trash looking for evidence.
Something in me just broke.
It wasn’t only the trash (even thought I thought it was kinda crazy)- I had literally just told him after Hawaii that I couldn’t keep living like this, and within about a week we were right back in the same place, except it had escalated further.
I started thinking beyond the immediate argument.
I’m ready for marriage and a serious life partnership. How am I supposed to make huge, life-altering decisions with someone who, after a year together, can still become convinced I’m cheating because I was sick for two days?
So I broke up with him in person.
He was devastated. He begged me to give him another chance and promised he would change. He was extremely upset that I wouldn’t give him “another chance,” but I’ve communicated multiple times how terrible this made me feel, how much anxiety it caused me, and how much I just wanted trust. Plus, I had explicitly warned him after Hawaii that I couldn’t do this again.
That’s why I’m struggling now.
I don’t think he’s a bad person. I understand where a lot of this comes from. I think he’s terrified of being cheated on and of not being enough. I still love him, and I miss him terribly.
Part of me wonders whether I should have stayed and given him the opportunity to actually work through it, especially because he was begging me not to leave and promising that this time would be different.
But another part of me thinks I would have been hurting myself while waiting and hoping he’d eventually become capable of trusting me. I don’t want to marry someone based on who I hope they’ll eventually become.
After the breakup four days ago, I sent him a long message telling him I love him, that I wished I could stay, but that I couldn’t keep doing this and hoped he would heal.
He didn’t respond for two days. Then his only message was that he wished I’d been there to see him play pool at a bar we used to go to together. He didn’t acknowledge the breakup or anything I’d said. I don’t really know what to make of that.
I’m heartbroken. I miss him enough that I keep questioning a decision I felt very sure about when I made it.
AIO for ending the relationship after the final incident instead of giving him another chance to change, even though I still love him and he was asking me to stay?

So my husband (32) recently figured out that his mom (64) tried to get rid of him during her pregnancy. They were in a house party casually chatting, talking things about the past with each other’s close friends. Let’s just say some sort of mini reunion with childhood/hometown friends.

I noticed since then my husband would talk differently to his mom each time they’d have an argument.

He won’t admit anything nor comment about it, but I think it affected him greatly. Or is he overreacting?

Edit: im only asking bec i want to understand him as a wife. People in our circle would look at it as him being simply rude during the arguments. But when I look at the bigger picture he could be coming from a place of hurt.

i just got back home after six extremely arduous and grueling weeks away, including multiple trips between cities, medical appointments, embassy stuff, illness, family obligations/drama, airports, and generally feeling like i haven’t had a second to breathe.

by the time i finally came home, i was completely physically and emotionally enervated. i was looking forward to exactly one thing: getting back into my own room, my own bed, and having some privacy and familiarity again, to cope with the separation from my long distance partner of 3 years with whom i spent the entire 6 weeks. I fucking miss him. anyways, instead, i immediately noticed my room felt “off.”

my stuff had been moved around and misplaced, the room was in disarray compared to how i left it, and then i realized someone had been sleeping in my bed. my sheets were stained/dirty too and damp on two sides.

turns out my mom had allowed one of her female patients to stay in my room while i was gone, my sister told me despite my cunt mom trying to force her to not tell me.

for context, my mom works in medical tourism. she isn’t a doctor, but she coordinates treatment for international patients coming from abroad for things like plastic surgery and dental work. she communicates with them constantly, translates between them and medical staff, organizes things, accompanies them to procedures, picks them up, etc.

apparently she decided this particular patient could just use my bedroom instead of staying at a hotel.
the problem is that i have explicitly told my mom before that i do not want strangers sleeping in my bed or using my room while i’m gone. i’m extremely private about my personal space and belongings, and she knows that.

what irritates me even more is that this patient was clearly not incapable of affording accommodation. the same night i came back, this woman was apparently urgently wanting to go shopping for clothes and spend money, so this wasn’t someone stranded on the street with nowhere to go.

she was literally sitting in the passenger seat when my mom picked me up from the airport, talking nonstop while i was already exhausted, and i had no idea at the time that she had also apparently been living in my room and touching/moving my belongings.
then i get home and discover everything.

i completely lost it. i cried, got extremely angry at my mom, cursed at her, and basically shut down.
i keep thinking even if she was going to ignore my boundary and let someone use the room anyway, couldn’t she at least have changed and washed the sheets and put my belongings back before i came home?

instead, i came back completely exhausted and immediately had to deal with the feeling that my personal space had been invaded.

my mom seems to think i’m making too big a deal out of it because it was “just a woman staying there” and she was trying to help a patient.

but to me, it isn’t really about the woman personally. it’s about my mom knowing i strongly object to people using my bedroom and bed, doing it anyway, apparently not telling me, letting my belongings get moved around, and then not even restoring the room before i returned.

i feel like my room is the one sacred place where i should be allowed to have a boundary without being treated like i’m unreasonable.

aio for crashing out over it, or would you consider this a genuine violation of privacy and boundaries?

I’m 20F and my friend is 19F. We’ve been friends since high school and used to be really close. She moved to another state, but we stayed in contact and FaceTimed often, so I decided to visit her this summer.
I was really excited, but once I got there, she seemed annoyed that I was there and was constantly rude to me. I was also dealing with relationship problems at the time, which she and her family knew about, so I was already emotionally drained.
One night, I was exhausted and I was sunburnt bad, to the point that it hurt to sleep or even wear clothes. I didn’t want to go out, and she ended up crying to her mom about it.
(She made me feel really bad for not going but I stood my ground and stayed in )
Later that week, she was talking rudely and down on me so I asked her not to talk to me like that, she loudly was like “BITCH FUCK YOU” I told her I didn’t appreciate being spoken to that way and walked away to her room to scroll on my phone instead of arguing. (She said me walking away is disrespectful and childish)

Throughout the trip, we’d talk about our disagreements, and whenever I expressed how I felt, I felt like she would invalidate the way I felt or tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way. Meanwhile, whenever she told me how she felt, I would acknowledge her feelings and apologize that she felt hurt, even if I didn’t necessarily agree with her perspective.
She then brought her mom into the conversation, making it feel like a 2-vs-1 situation.
At that point, I felt so unwanted and uncomfortable that I booked an earlier flight home, costing me $450

Her parents even asked if she was going to take me to the airport, and she said no, so I paid another $60 to uber to airport. What hurt most was that she didn’t even say goodbye to me. The friend who came with me did, though, and honestly, I’m glad he was there because it made leaving easier.
I know my friend didn’t technically owe me a ride or a goodbye, but combined with everything else, it made me feel like she genuinely didn’t want me there.
I went there because I cared about our friendship, spent money to visit her, and ended up spending even more money just to leave because I felt so uncomfortable.

I should mention we having talked since the night of our argument when I booked the flight home early.

Am I overreacting for being this hurt?
Would you try to repair this friendship or just distance yourself?

My husband (28M) and I (22F) have been married for a little over a year. About 7 months ago, he started sharing his location with 20+ of his friends. They can essentially see where he is 24/7.

I’ve told him that this makes me uncomfortable. It’s not that I necessarily think he’s doing anything wrong by sharing his location, but I don’t understand why so many people need to have constant access to his whereabouts.

His reasoning is that it’s for “safety.” My issue is that many of these friends live in completely different states or have jobs/families of their own, so realistically, most of them wouldn’t be able to immediately come help him in an emergency anyway. There have also been a few occasions where his friends have asked him why he was at a certain place because they saw his location.

What bothers me more is what feels like a double standard around privacy.

He has told me that he believes our marriage should be private and has said to me, “The sanctity of a marriage lies in the beauty of its privacy.”

We were previously on the verge of divorce, and during that time I spoke to two close friends about some of our marital problems. I also brought them with me as witnesses when I met with an Imam about our issues. He was very upset that I had discussed details of our marriage with them because he felt our marriage should remain private.

At the same time, he shares his physical location constantly with 20+ people.

He also refuses to post us on social media because of “privacy” and the evil eye. He isn’t comfortable with me posting him/us on TikTok either, even if I’m wearing hijab and the post is otherwise modest.

I understand wanting privacy in a marriage, and I don’t think couples need to broadcast their relationship online. What I’m struggling with is why our relationship is considered too private to share publicly, while his literal whereabouts are shared with dozens of people 24/7.

I just don’t understand why he seems to have such a strong standard about keeping our marriage private while being completely comfortable with so many friends knowing where he is at all times.

AIO for feeling like this is a double standard? Or am I making the location-sharing thing into something bigger than it actually is?

My birthday will be coming in less than a month, and this specific birthday is a big milestone, so I expected my parents would put at least a little bit of effort this time, but it doesn't seem to be the case.

For context, last year, around the time of my birthday my dad was away because he was abroad for a couple of months to find a place to rent since my parents wanted to move, which means that he wasn't there for my birthday last year, but that's not exactly the problem, since he didn't really have a choice back then.

The issue is that last year when I woke up on the day of birthday I went on with my normal morning routine (during which my mother was already) since it was a school day, and through the whole process she never acknowledged me or wished me a happy birthday, she just sent me a text later on while I was at school saying how she forgot because in the morning her head isn't clear or whatnot. Same thing for my dad, he didn't text me until late afternoon.

This year, apparently my dad had some business to deal with abroad (AGAIN), only that this time he could've decided to go a couple of days later to get present In my birthday for this year at least. But when I suggested that he said "why would I post-pone it and stay abroad one more weekend to catch the flight back when I can just do it earlier?", Which means that this year he won't be there again, only that this time he had a choice.

Then there's my mother. Apparently her and my dad decided that for my birthday they'll pay for my drivers licence. Now, I don't want to sound ungrateful, but I would've prefered if for a birthday this important they bought me something I WANT and not something I NEED, especially since I overhead my mother talking to my sister saying that the only thing that she'll do is buy me one of those 15€ corner store cakes and nothing else for the actual day.

Am I just being ungrateful like they keep saying? I feel like I'm going insane

First, for the sake of clarity, let’s call my girlfriend (28MtF) Pam and her friend (20sMtF) Sarah. I’m (25FtM).

I met both of them at the beginning of last year, in a WhatsApp group for kinksters in our town. At the time, Pam and Sarah had some sort of FWB situation going on, but when my girlfriend and I became official (around a year ago), that stopped. Pam’s friendship with Sarah has never bothered me. She has always assured me that she doesn’t have any sexual feelings for Sarah anymore, and I trust her.

When Sarah’s birthday came around last year, I was already dating Pam. Pam was invited, but I wasn’t. The explanation was that Sarah had a lot of friends who didn’t get along with each other, and she didn’t want any drama at her party. I was okay with it, since I hadn’t known Sarah for very long at that point.

Now, my girlfriend just texted me saying that she was invited to Sarah’s birthday again, and that she was planning on going. I asked if I was invited as well, and Pam said that this year’s celebration was for close friends only, so no.

I told her she was more than welcome to go, but I found it weird that I was being excluded for the second year in a row, especially since the reason seemed to be different this time. I asked if Pam thought Sarah had a problem with me, and she said her friend just seems “closed off” when it comes to letting new people into her circle.

I just don’t know what to think. I have no intention of telling my girlfriend that she can’t attend, but I haven’t been able to hide how anxious this makes me feel. I know Sarah and Pam talk practically every day and are very close friends, so I’d really like to know if I’m being unreasonable for feeling so weird.

AIO for being bothered by the fact that my girlfriend’s former FWB has excluded me from her birthday party two years in a row or I’m reading more into this than I should?

At some point we had 3 cats who lived together.

Our first cat to go was a miniature cat, who came up to us scared when she was a kitten. After about 3 years, she started throwing up due to anxiety, she was the definition of a scaredy cat. My mom would hit her with a belt every time she threw up and eventually drove her somewhere left her and didn’t tell me or my sister where.

Our second cat we rescued from the rain when she was a kitten. We raised her for 6 years, I had to live elsewhere, but where I lived I couldn’t have pets so my mom had to care for her. After a year when I saw the cat again she was very matted and when I said I couldn’t take her, she made me pay to have her put down or she would take my car so I had to pay.. she was second to go.

The 3rd cat is current, he is also about 6 years old and he started throwing up recently, I think due to only eating hard food for most of his life which I stated. She is tired of it so she made him an outside cat and she does not allow him in. He has never experienced being outside. She is hoping nature will take care of him so she won’t have to deal with him any longer. It is my little sister’s favorite cat who she has to watch him stay at our door outside and not be able to have him in her bed like she used to. She has to listen otherwise our mom would hit her. I live in a different town now so not much I can do.

I believe all the cats have experienced getting hit with a belt at some point as well.

But I am not sure if i’m overreacting for not having any feelings at all for her or caring about her wellbeing anymore due to her just being a careless person in general and in several ways throughout my whole life. But the animals is the final straw..

I can’t tell if I’m just being oversensitive or if this is an actual issue, but whenever I suggest any change to my appearance (hair colour, piercings) my boyfriend really shits on it. One time I pranked him that I went blonde (which I’m planning to do anyway - now brunette) and he genuinely got MAD. I’ve brought this issue up to him before but he says he’s just being honest and doesn’t want to lie to me and just be the yes man, but I wouldn’t have thought that you would have to lie to be supportive of your girlfriend. Anything he suggests about himself of the same nature I am super supportive and it’s genuine too.

Is it good that he’s being honest and I’m just overreacting, or is this an issue?

Tash (mid30s f) and I ( mid30s f) have been friends since 11-12 with a wider friend group of 3 other girls.

-After university she moved to the other side of my small country so it become longer distance but we would keep a messenger chat and i would fly to see her once a year?

- after covid she went down the "natural" rabbit hole, and also had children ( i dont have them) and so we grew increasingly apart because of our differing point of views and focuses. I found it hard to see her want to put so much effort into raising her kids a particular way.

- inthe last five years she has become a mum influencer, and because of her business, lifestyle including homeschooling, social media, me and other friends would notice when she would be horrible with contact but would continually post on social media.

- 3 years ago another friend from our group Amelias' dad had deteriorated from cancer and he was battling to survive to attend her wedding. Tash had not regularly checked the messenger chat and Amelia was angry and did not want to invite Tash to the wedding. I messaged Tash to check the chat and they made up. At this time I also realised I needed to pull back communication as i knew i was always the one sending Tash memes, jokes and asking how she was.

Since the wedding Tash has gone through personal battles where the group has been there via chat. Some of these battles included the safety of her children and as I am trained social worker, i listened but i explained why agencies would want to get involved. I can imagine she probably felt judged by me.

I also flew down to her city 3 months ago to see her and others and drove a couple hours especially to spend time with her where i felt like I had put in effort to talk about our lives and hear more about how things had settled.

Two weeks ago my grandpa passed unexpectedly. He was 96 but seemed in good health the day before.

I messaged the chat, and everyone but Tash checked the chat and messaged me their thoughts and Amelia has been really supportive.

I have also made a couple stories and a post going throuhh hard times, flowers and included a funeral booklet on social media where Tash posts.

Tash has seen some of these stories but has not reacted and still has not checked the chat.

Tash knows my family, and is probably the only one of my close friends not to comment. I find myself hurt and frustrated and feel like cutting her off as a friend. Would I be over reacting if I did?

AIO about guy I’ve been seeing cancelling our plans?

So I’ve been seeing this guy about 8 months now… don’t have an official label or anything but talk every day and see each other pretty much every week consistently. Usually when we see each other though, it’s us going to drink somewhere. Lately I’ve been a bit upset in my head because it felt like I was always the one initiating plans, I brought this up to him and we talked about it and it seemed like after that he was trying to do a little better.
Fast forward to last week, there’s this place about 30 minutes away I’ve been really wanting to visit and I asked him and he said he’d go with me. I was super excited because this was finally a day time thing that wouldn’t just be us having drinks. I bought the tickets and was so excited to go, and then he ended up telling me a few days later he’d pay me back for the tickets but we have to wait and reschedule (with no time frame) because he’s going to go a day earlier to see his mom (who he sees it feels like every week) so we can’t go now. I of course expressed my disappointment, and then he was like “it’s fine let’s just go. I’ll change plans and see my mom the next day” but of course in my head I’m like change plans???? From when we already had plans set for that day??? And I don’t even want to go with him anymore because it feels forced.

AIO? He’s been saying shit like “I want to go! I never said I didn’t want to go” but at this point it just feels like he’s saying that so I won’t be upset, and I’d much rather go with someone who actually wants to be there.

So I'm 16F and my neighbors are a newly married couple in their late twenties. We live in an apartment complex and although we live in different flats, we still share a balcony.

We both hang our clothes in the balcony, and whenever I go outside to bring them in or hang them in my normal clothes, they would be doing the same. We'd smile at each other, chit chat a bit, and do our work. I never thought anything of it, much less of the clothes I was wearing then, but the wife did.

The wife found me in the lift 2 weeks (we were the only two there) and asked me to please stop wearing such revealing clothing. I didn't understand because all I wore were tanks and shorts, but I said okay, and switched to wearing t-shirts. I should add here that temperatures in my city can reach up to 44 degrees in the summers, which is why I couldn't wear like pants and stuff.

It was apparently not enough since she talked to me in the park again a week ago about my clothes, and said it was distracting her husband or something (I'd known this dude for three years since he lived here first (and she moved in 1.5 years later) and he'd never given me creepy vibes before so I didn't take this seriously). I told her that I couldn't keep the AC running all the time and since it got so hot, t-shirts were all I'd be able to do. She told me to wear longer shorts and I told her okay to humor her and get out of the situation.

Today, I came back from our ground shop with some chips and she was waiting by my door. She started yelling at me, saying she'd been asking me to do one simple thing for her for 2 weeks, and I'd been ignoring her. I just zoned out until she said "do you want to steal my husband or something?" and I just burst out laughing because oh my goodness.

First of all, I'm a kid, he's an adult, ew. Even if we ignore that, he can't keep a job (lived on his daddy's money before, and his wife's money after), can't keep his house clean (according to what she's told my mom crying, and his mother has told my grandma sighing), and expects her to do mostly everything as a partner and a "proper wife". He also mansplains EVERYTHING (my dad can't even have one conversation with the two of them because he gets so ticked off by this barely employed guy explaining his wife's job like she's stupid or something). He's just so pathetic I'm surprised he's even married.

This is why I said what i wrote in the title. She was PISSED. She said I had no right to judge her husband, that I didn't know how their marriage was like etc. and if I had a problem with her, I should've targeted her, not him. I could see her point with the last line, and I'm wondering if I went a little too far. So AIO?

EDIT: Holyshit this post blew up. Tysm for your kind responses y'all. Just writing this as many people are advising me to take some legal action (or threaten it), I cannot do that. Unfortunately, where I'm from, this behaviour is just normal neighborhood drama, and the police or courts won't take this seriously. Also, there's no such thing as a restraining order in my country. That's all, love all the positive ppl here <3

UPDATE: Okay hi I kind of forgot to do this in the morning so sorry about that lol. I told my parents last evening. My mom was very weirded out and my dad was pretty quiet. They said they'd talk to both of them on the phone once (and in person when they come back from their respective business trips).

the pictures attached are a screenshot of his instagram story that he posted 3 hours ago. we literally talk constantly through instagram, i dont know why he wouldnt assume that I would see things like this. he has posted other shady things in the past that seemed directed towards my mom too.

for context, they have been together for 6ish years(?) and they met at their shared place of work. since then, my mom had developed some health issues that no longer made it safe for her to work there, and so for the last year and a half her only source of income has been doordash and uber because most jobs are too physically demanding and she can't get any offers. our car that we've had since I was little had a lot of issues also and so he (ill call him jack) gave his old car to her to borrow until we could get it fixed or get a new one.

the first few years of their relationship I was very fond of jack. he was very sweet, caring, had a lot of the same interests as me and we would talk about them a lot, and he would always bring home food to make sure my mom and I were eating. even though they weren't married I always considered him my step-dad, and would introduce him to others as such. my mom never talked bad about him until about a year ago. I didnt really think much of it at first because I always seen him as a nice guy, and my mom tends to be a bit of an over-reacter, but it became clear after awhile that she was telling the truth with how often it was happening. it started off with anytime he was upset with her, he would ghost her. for days. literal weeks sometimes. what 40 something year old gives the silent treatment? he constantly belittles her and makes her seem stupid. any time she would make even a minor mistake he would blow up in her face and tell her how dumb she is. some of the things she told me he said to her absolutely enraged me.

my husband is moving me across the country soon to live with him as he's in the military. my mom is extremely upset about this because I am honestly the only person she talks to besides jack. I feel terrible about leaving her but we plan on moving her with us when we know where we are staying indefinitely. the other night she expressed this to jack, said that she was crying to him about how she would miss me, and the best thing he could think of to say was "Why dont you just adopt another kid then" .......

this felt very insensitive to me. why would my mom just replace me when I go. why would that be the thing she wants to hear when she's sobbing about me leaving. another thing he said on the topic of this was "Why don't you just move with her when she leaves next month instead of waiting? at least I would have something to look forward to."

my mom was in tears when she told me he said this. it became clear to me in that moment that he really was the huge asshole my mom was telling me about. it absolutely disgusted me, how can you say that you can't wait for the person you're supposed to love to leave?

there are plenty and plenty more things that I could use as examples but the last one ill use is one of my own.

my husband and i's engagement party was a few months back, and we invited literally everyone from our family and friends so that they could meet each other. jack was invited because none of this had come to light yet. the party was great! everyone seemed to get along, and I was frantically going around introducing everyone to each other. I introduced jack to everyone as my step-dad, again, as I usually would, and I thought nothing of it. but when I got home, my mom told me that as soon as I would walk away he would turn to the person and say "im not apart of the family im just here for the food"

words escape me even now on how this made me feel. for years I have considered him family, looked up to him, I was always excited to get him gifts for christmas and his birthday, and you think youre 'just here for the food'??? apparently he thinks me and my husband are a joke as well. he told my mom that we're morons for getting married this young and that we're throwing our lives away and we're gonna divorce in a year. says the man who lives at home with his mom and works a dead end job that he hates 🫩 thanks for the encouraging words

because my mom has been having trouble finding a traditional job, she has asked for a little help from jack here and there with bills. obviously we dont expect him to just throw money at her but he used to be so willing, and now any time she would ask he would bitch and whine the whole time and make her feel worthless. he eventually told my mom last month that he isn't helping us anymore. it would make sense to me if she really did have money or the means to make it, or if she was using his money to buy things she didnt need, but she's desperate just to keep the lights on in the house. she is behind on so many bills and she can barely afford to eat. so I guess his reasoning for treating her this way is he is sick of giving her money. but if you seen the person you "love" struggling like this, wouldnt you want to help them???

at this point my mom said that the only reason she stays with him is because she's lonely and she has no car. I spoke with my husband and we decided to buy her a car so she can hopefully get the courage to leave. I scrounged up every cent of my savings and with a little extra help from my husband I got her the car for her birthday. she was ecstatic, but we have to wait to give jack's car back until she can afford to get it registered and insured. my mom has begged me not to say anything negative to him until its over, but im really really struggling not to chew him a new one. do you think im over reacting? as i talk about it out loud I feel like I sound a little intense, but I dont know. I love my momma to death and she does not deserve to be treated this way.

I recently started a teacher assistant job at a small preschool. I was really excited about it, and I genuinely loved working with the kids. I still feel kinda guilty about leaving them, and I miss them.

The problem was my lead teacher.

Every day I went in knowing with 100% certainty I was going to make a mistake and my teacher was going to try and be patient with me until she decided she could no longer work with me anymore.

It felt like she expected all the kids to behave all the time. 

The confusing part is that she could be genuinely wonderful at times. Some days were great. She could be kind, encouraging, funny, and a really good teacher. A good day was when she was mostly nice and only a little condescending once or twice.

A bad day was when the entire classroom environment became scary enough that I wanted to quit, and that fear would linger into the next day even if she was nice again.
I went to HR multiple times, the principal twice. I didn’t know what to do anymore because while they kept repeating they were taking my words seriously, they didn’t do anything that I could see, except have chats with my teacher about her tone. They were giving a lot more grace to her than my teacher was giving to me or the kids she was responsible for.

During my first week, before the students started:

She spent several days telling me I was doing well and then pulled me aside after shutting our classroom door to tell me that nothing was done to her standards.

Some of the things she said included:

“Tell me what you’re good at because clearly none of the work I’ve given you.”

“HR told me you’re a newbie and to train you but I don’t know if I can.”

“I’m trying to be honest with you here. I’m trying not to cry. I feel like I’m doing everything alone here.”

“I’ve only given you easy tasks so far but nothing has gotten done.”

I was unable to respond at the time because I was blindsided and I don't handle sudden emotional confrontations well.

The first day of school:

There were multiple instances where she told me, in front of students and in loud tones, that she didn't want certain children in her classroom or that she would talk to the principal because the kids' behavior was unacceptable, mainly because they were crying.

One child was crying because the teacher had raised her voice at another student. Another child also became upset. My teacher kept being mean to them, saying “stop crying!” which obviously didn’t help.

During a drill, she physically positioned one of the crying children in a way that made the child cry more. The kid then urinated themself, as not all of the children are potty trained, and my teacher was loudly discussing having to call another staff member and repeatedly said she couldn't have this kid in her classroom.

This kid eventually withdrew from our class because her mother said the kid had developed some kind of fear about school she couldn’t understand.

There were also things I witnessed involving other students:

• She called one child (a non-english speaker, who is just now learning english with us) a “very very bad girl” multiple times, loudly, for not putting her feet on the floor while sitting in a chair. She also loudly said in front of the kids multiple times, “Something is wrong with her. She has something, I just know it. She needs to go get tested.” She's often loud and rude to this kid (“Oh look, she’s going to throw another tantrum,” or once asking another kid who sat beside this child, “Are you really sure you want to sit THERE?” In a negative tone). This child does not listen to directions well-- not out of spite, but because the child's mind seems to wander a lot and makes it hard for her to focus on us. 
• My teacher repeatedly told me, “I feel like I’m doing everything around here.” I was trying. I didn't just stand around when I saw there were things to do. I never sat down with nothing to do except during my break.
• She told me multiple times, “I'm trying to be patient with you,” or would take a long breath and exhale with her eyes closed when I made a mistake, like she was trying to find it in herself to handle the situation.
• She repeatedly talked about not wanting one of the students back in her classroom, saying things like, “She's the one who kept on crying, remember?” and “I hope she doesn't come back, imagine how she'll mess up the classroom.”
• One day, a child kept crying and she was VERY loud with him. Like, yelling at him in his face while wearing a mike. My teacher told me she couldn't deal with him anymore and couldn't have him in her classroom. I took him out and calmed him down. When I brought him back, she said, “No—take him anywhere but don't bring him back here. I don't want to see him.” She was very loud with him, asking him, “Are you going to cry?” repeatedly until he started crying again. She said loudly enough for the children to hear, “I can't wait until he's done with this class,” after he had an accident in the bathroom.
• She repeatedly told students “I don't care!” loudly enough that they started repeating it to each other.
• She asked students multiple times, “What is wrong with you?” when they didn't immediately listen.

I had already asked HR whether I could be moved to another classroom, but they said that if it didn't work out with her, they weren't sure where they could put me.

So I quit.

Sometimes the kids would look at me like they wanted me to do something, and I couldn't. I could only step in where I could, or be extra nice to students after they got yelled at by her. I could handle everything else about the job, but I didn't want to feel like a bad person or pretend I was alright with how my teacher talked to the kids. After school everyday, I felt dis-regulated and off, because I was around someone who was just so high-strung all day. My teacher always felt like she was teetering on some edge, like one bad moment from snapping.
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AIO for quitting?