I, (F33) met my friend (F34) back in university around 14 years ago and we have been friends since then.

I had moved away in 2019 and we stayed in touch and she even visited me (two hour flight, different timezone) and then I moved back home in 2023.

In 2023, she bailed me on twice and then in 2024, she bailed on me four times. Each time she seemingly had a new excuse for why she couldn't make it and she would literally tell me the morning off. Once she told me after I got to the place that she was not coming. It was really frustrating because it was an hour away for each of us so I had obviously left an hour before and she would have known that she wasn't going to be there at the scheduled time.

In 2025, I distanced myself because I was fed up of making plans and getting stood up. She messaged a few times asking how I was and what I was up to so I replied back and I told her I was pregnant around Christmas when I was 7 months. I wanted to tell her earlier but months went by with neither of us messaging each other so by the time I told her, it was super late.

This year she visited once to see me and my baby and it was wonderful and thus, we made a plan to go downtown which is 1.5 hours away for both of us.

I had tickets that I got as a gift for a baseball game that were around the $600 mark each. I invited her three weeks ago and she said yes.

See the photos for what ensued.

Please note that she offered to uber when the game was about to start aka like 25 mins out. But she is over an hour away.

AIO if I cut her off and block her and basically never talk to her again?

My wedding happened a couple weeks ago and it went amazing. Everything went perfectly and I couldn't have asked for anything better.

There is a cousin I was having discourse with before the wedding because she wanted to hand out her invitations to her wedding in February during my wedding.

I squashed the idea but still allowed her to attend. She did wear a white dress with flowers but I don't care honestly.

The next morning I get a call from my mother from my cousin's mom being worried we didn't get her card because she didn't know who she handed it too and it had a lot of money in there, she claims 300-500. My mother and I spent 2-4 days calling and emailing people just to make sure it didn't pop up anywhere. We figured out it was in the right place thankfully since both of them were making a fuss about the card possibly missing.

Well we are doing the thank you cards and we find the card from my cousin and her family and open it. Its two gift cards from Total Wine and Pottery Barn. I've never been to Pottery Barn and I don't drink too much, but I was greatfull nonetheless. Until I noticed the pin part was already scratched off both cards and the total wine one said "Merry Christmas".

I'm not mad about the used cards, reuse reduce, recycle your heat out, but I had a feeling I should check the balances just to see how much is on each card, especially Pottery Barn is pricey and I was curious how the money was split. I'm not a superficial person but it was $80 in total.

I am now at a point where I feel like I've been gracious even letting my cousin attend the wedding after the invitation drama. And now to make me and my mom panic about cards possibly being stolen only for it to be to used cards to places I never shop at, but my cousin does.

I'm at the point where I don't want to go her wedding in February anymore but I will be regifting the cards right back. AIO?

Edit: to clarify some things; she is 28, I'm 24. And as for the money concern she works at the lab and gets paid over 100k. I do want to reiterate I'm not mad about the amount, it's just the underlying meaning and how they made it into a huge deal. They know who's family, I had several people hand me cards to me or my mother (which that is my aunts sister).

Edit 2: when the wedding drama happened, my mother asked my aunt to let her daughter not pass out invites. My aunt said "I don't see the problem with Beth handing out invitations because we are family"

Edit 3: The wedding is in a different state at least 8 hours driving. Im hesitant to spend time and money to deal with something similar at her wedding.

AIO my (F33) Fiancé (M34) has booked us a honeymoon / babymoon to somewhere he's always wanted to visit, and to some extent, so have I. The trip is in a few months and he has just told me that where we're going is actually where his ex fiancée now lives with her new bf, not only that but she is picking us up from the airport and she is staying in the same resort as us while we're there (not the same hotel) so we can meet up with her and she can show us around etc. AIO for saying that's not right and it should be just us two on our honeymoon, not his ex playing 3rd wheel? I'm seriously re-thinking even marrying him at this point. Are my feelings valid or am I blowing this out of proportion?

For context he has lied about her in the past, I have known about her since we got together 6 years ago but he first said she was just an old friend before I found out about a year ago they were actually engaged.

Also I am not yet pregnant (thankfully) but we had planned to start trying on the honeymoon and it will be our last big vacation before we have a family which is why I called it a babymoon too.

I sent a message asking this person to pick up a Wii game I put on hold at the library. I put this Wii game on hold for them as this is a specific game they asked for from the library so they know I did this. Today was the last day the library would put the game on hold for me and I didn’t have time to pick it up before work so I asked them to do it. Then you see what they said.

This isn’t the only person that just sends “?” To me. I don’t get it. Am I stupid? Everyone I message whether it’s friends or coworkers or anyone will always just send “?”. I don’t understand what this means. Are they confused about something? If so, what are they confused about? Does it mean they don’t want to pick the game up? Every time I just get a question mark after explaining myself I tend to just ignore it now because they won’t tell me anything else even after asking to elaborate, everyone just sends the same thing again. A question mark. What am I missing here?

I have asked everyone I know not to send me this and just say why they are confused or if they have a question about something I said.

AIO for just ignoring people after “?” Now since they won’t tell me what it means?

Does anyone else have this problem?

Clarification for the last text seen: They asked me how therapy was because they knew I was coming from that. I didn’t say anything though because I was just upset I don’t know what “?” Means.

I need an outside opinion, because this is the first time this has happened to me in my life and i don't know how react for this. I am a F(40 yo), my partner a M(40 yo). We met 3 years ago and living together for 2.5 years. We have 7 months old baby, and i also have a child from my first marriage (10 yo), he loves him and raises him as his own son. Our characters are similar - he explodes easily, but quickly calms down, I am also impulsive, but if there is a quarrel, I need more time to cool down. Despite our two hot-tempered characters, we have a fairly peaceful relationship, after quarrels we discuss everything, apologize if necessary, seek a compromise, because we understand our shortcomings. Every day we have a lot of laughter, jokes, dances, games... And over these years we have had only 2 big scandals, and what I will describe below is the third. English is not my native language, I have been living in this country for 4.5 years, and I came as a refugee because there is a war in my country. I will note right away that finding a relationship and staying in this country was not my goal, because I have everything I need for a good life in my country, it is just extremely dangerous there, and here I really fell in love and in fact he and now our child are all that keep me here.

So, he often makes me notice that I look at my phone when we have time together. I don't think so, because if I need to do something on my phone, I do it (reply to a message, look up a product, make notes, add to calendar something, translate a word I don't know) because later I will simply forget to do it. It doesn't look like 1 hour together, I spend 40 minutes on my phone, more like a quick glance, reply to a message, maybe longer if I have to choose what to buy. Because with two children, everything flies out of my head very quickly. In addition, I try to stay in touch with friends who stayed in my home country. And my morning ritual is coffee, news and if there was shelling, then a messages to my friends whether everyone is alive. He is also constantly on his phone, playing mini-gsmes, although not when he is next to me.

Two days ago we were going to visit friends. I was cleaning the kitchen, while chatting on messenger with friends we were going to about plans, food, bbq, etc. When it was time to feed the baby, we had a conversation:

Me - can you feed the baby because I haven't finished cleaning the kitchen yet.

He - you didn't clean the kitchen because you were staring at your phone too much?

Me - don't make such remarks to me, because I will remind you about staring at your phone.

He - what are you talking about?

Me - yesterday when you were putting the baby to bed, she fell out of bed while you were playing games on your phone. So which one of us is staring at the phone? In 7 months she fell out of bed 3 times, and all of those times were with you.

Then he just exploded and started screaming at me like crazy: "Fu..k you, fu..k, you fu..ing cu..t, fu...ing tw..t, fu..k you...Why did you say that, you know I'm blaming myself for the fact that she fell. My little girl fell, I'll never forgive myself for this....When she fell, you took her from me and didn't give her back, as if she needed to be protected from me...You said that specifically to hurt me..." and so on. He broke down and screamed this while sitting in front of the child, he scared her and she started crying. Then he came up to me and screamed this in my face, until saliva was flying, he hit the wall, his eyes were bloodshot, he seemed possessed.

I note I don't blame him her fell. First time was after the birth, we both were exhausted and she was sleeping on his chest and rolled over. The second time was about 10 days ago when he didn't put the blanket around the bed to make a nest and went to talk on the phone and the third time was two days ago. Every time she fell on the carpet and apparently nothing happened to her, her behavior did not change, she ate and slept as usual. I understand that this can happen to anyone, and it happens a lot with children. I wasn't going to judge or blame him, but it looked hypocritical he was making a remark to me, but it was his staring at his phone that made her fall out of bed.

About 10 minutes later he came over and tried to apologize. But an apology in the style of "forgive me, but you..." and then shifting the responsibility for what happened to me. I don't consider that an apology. AIO? I was shocked by his reaction, no one has ever treated me like this in my life. Can a person insult and humiliate their loved one with the most disgusting words? Did I really say such a terrible thing to him and his reaction was appropriate? I'm overreacting that i don't want to accept his apologies?

Hey everyone, so a bit of background context:

I’m a 30yr old woman in a relationship with a 30yr old man. When i was younger (child/teen), a lot of trauma happened, a lot of creepy old men etc etc, I’m not going to go into detail on here but i just feel a certain way about creepy old men, always will. It boils my blood.

My bf has a brother who’s 45. He has been struggling to find the “right one” for ages now and tbh after yesterday, I kinda know why.

There’s a house opposite ours that has a lot of young teenage girls coming in and out constantly. They all look around anywhere between 15-20 ish.
My bf’s brother was out in the front garden yesterday and he was talking to me through the window. Next minute, a young girl who (IMO) didn’t look older than about 18, walked down the road and went into the house opposite. My bf’s brother noticed her and then ran up to the house and popped something through the door. I didn’t think anything of it and just carried on with my day.
When my bf walked in the room, he noticed his brother running back from the house with a smile on his face. My bf’s instantly got up and smiled and asked him what he was doing over at that house and his brother replied back saying “Just popped my number through the door. Saw a really really hot girl who was about 20” and my bf laughed and walked away.

I had a certain look on my face and my bf asked me what was wrong. I tried explaining to him that i found the entire thing creepy, considering his brother is old enough to be this girl’s dad. I was clearly “triggered” a little bit by this and my bf knows about my past. He seemed to think what his brother did was okay and this bothered me.

I know it’s all legal, and nothing “illegal” is happening. But i just can’t help but feel his brother has gone down majorly in my opinion of him. This sucks because i wanted to start a whole art stall with him and i’m just feeling a bit ergh about it.

AIO?

I'm going to start by saying I didn't know how to title this but to give context I (21F) and my fiance (27M) have an apartment with 2 cats, a ball python and a guinea pig. He works as a produce production at a grocery store full time, hes in a freezer cutting, juicing, and all the fun stuff that ends up out front. Hes usually a 12pm-9pm shift with occasional 4am-12:30pm shifts.

I am a part timer at the same place but as a cashier, I go to school ft in college, and have an internship which I need to dedicate 20 hours weekly on top of a minimum 30 hours at work to help pay bills with him. My degree is veterinary so I'm always having some where to go.

Before I had my internship and an apartment with him, we were long distance and when we got an apartment he couldn't move just yet so I took it upon me to clean everything around the house, because it was me at the time. I didn't have cats either so it was just my snake before my parents gave me my guinea pig I had to leave behind for college. When he moved in, we split chores up equally-ish as he was working full time and I was part time still with part time school as it was winter/spring and was figuring out community college stuff. I would cook, care for mochi(snake) and then my guinea pig because they were my responsibility. I would also clean our living room, dining room, laundry, and main bedroom floor, and occasionally tidy up main bathroom (we have a 2bd 2bth apartment)

His chores consist of, keeping his desk clean in his game room, dishes after dinner, and trash. Even then, he has me put dishes up because he says he doesn't know where things go, even though we have been living here for a year. And has me refil the trash because he takes it out. I started trying to tell him to refil the trash can because it's his job to do the trash fully that includes putting a new bag in but because it was simple I rather not argue over something small so I just suck it up and do it. Same with the dishes I suck it up and put them away.

Hes always wanted kids and still does and I don't mind it if we get a proper home and I'm not busy with school. We got 2 cats because he's always wanted pet cats and I love cats and can use them as my testers when I want to learn or visually see something for my studies. I just had a rule because to get him used to it because if I'm pregnant I cannot do a liter box clean as it is a risk to pregnancy. The cats are his responsibility, which include feed them 2x a day, liter (we have a auto liter box so basically needs emptying every 2 or so weeks) and water when our fountain says its out with a bright red light. Before the automatic liter box we had a normal one and I would have to keep reminding him every week to empty it out and he would complain saying he needs help because it's heavy. So I asked dif this would help a auto liter and he said yes he will be better with it.

To this day I would have to remind him to refil it, and every time I would tell him "hey liter box is flipped(meaning it's closed and cats can't go in) and needs to be empty" and he always says "didn't know or see I'll do it rq" and does it. He barley feeds them himself, theoretically in a week time that's 14 times to fill their food bowls, 10 of them would be me and the other 4 are if I'm closing a shift at work and have him feed them at night. They get fed at 11am-12pm and 8-9pm as they eat slower at night.

When I started to get frustrated with the lack of household help was when we did a house reset because school was about to start and I want a clean home while I'm very busy. We split up all the places and things to do evenly. In the end he spent a whole day either eating on the couch, or walking around, and when he did something he goes to saying "we should work together and tag team this" even though I spent the day cleaning 3 rooms, without food or a break, and even knocked out part of his chores. When his chore was to clean the liter box and vacuum the liter that was tossed he said "ok liter box done can you vacuum since I don't know how to use a vacuum" I almost flipped and when I said its his job he got upset saying we should be working together.

Now that school started, nothing has changed chore wise, I have to beg him to clean dishes and even then they still overpile even when I haven't cooked in a bit, I feed cats almost daily, and even after 3 reminders of fill liter box, when he does it he never changes it out so he goes to work and I'm doing liter. He shrugs it off everytime and I feel like now that I'm roughly doing the same amount of work outside the house, or just straight busy, we should be equaling out chores more but he doesn't agree with it because he works 40 hours and just says "welcome to my world but I got to get up at 3am sometimes"

Am I overreacting to getting mad at that or does something need to change?

Perhaps I should ask -- DID I overract or was my husband trying to poison me, as this took place in 2020. Due to a lengthy divorce (all items finalized only last year), it's taken me a long time to to feel like the marriage/divorce trauma is behind me. Sorry that this is long, but I thought some context was necessary.

I (now 43F) was served with divorce papers by my now ex-husband (48M) 1 week prior to my state going into lockdown for the Covid 19 pandemic. Due to the timing, we were unable to secure a hearing with a judge to get any temporary orders in place addressing important matters like who must move out of the marital home, and who has custody of our daughter. So, for 4 months, my ex and I were forced to live under the same roof (average 3-bedroom home in the suburbs) despite a tumultuous divorce already being in the works.

About 3 months into the pandemic, I began baking/cooking a lot. Here is where things got weird and I became increasingly more paranoid that I may be in a dangerous situation. After months of very little communication outside of our attorneys, my ex husband began taking an interest in what I was drinking. An avid Pepsi drinker for our entire marriage, I had switched to a diet version of the soda in a misguided attempt to consume less sugar. He noticed. Sometime shortly after that, I enjoyed a full sugar version again and he commented on the switch again. Later that same day while my son and I were watching a movie in my bedroom, he came and offered me a Pepsi - a fountain drink from the local gas station. This wouldnt seem odd when we were in a happier stage of our marriage as we both drank gas station fountain drinks regularly. But, this was after weeks of practically no in-person communication and certainly no positive interactions between he and I. He set it down on the dresser, and I basically forgot about it as I already had beverages that I was drinking next to me on the nightstand (water and a soda). He came back to our room a bit later and asked why I hadn't drank it, so I explained that I had already had an opened soda when he offered, but thank you for the gesture. So without saying anything to our son or on any other topic, he grabbed the cup, walked out and said "I'll throw it out for you then."

Not long after that I was baking in the kitchen and had a 20 oz bottle of soda (with cap screwed on) sitting on the kitchen island next to my cookbook. I went to the bathroom and returned a few minutes later to the cap screwed off of the soda and sitting next to the bottle. I thought I was simply misremembering whether I had opened the top of it at the time, but my ex once again came into the kitchen and said "aren't you thirsty? you've had that soda for awhile, it's going to waste." I literally shrugged and told him I'd probably get to it eventually but wasn't super thirsty right then and that I had my hands full with what I was doing. He left the room only to come back maybe 15 minutes later, and sees the still-unconsumed soda. He got visibly irritated and yelled at me for "being so wasteful" and said something about how if I wasn't going to drink it he'd just throw it away for me, and then continued to pour my bottle of soda down the drain and take the empty bottle with him out of the room (instead of discarding it in the kitchen trash).

He offered me an additional soda one more time, which I simply declined to accept given how I was feeling about the situation. Some of my friends had told me to be careful about anything I eat or drink while in the same home. I wish I had been smart enough to accept and take it to be tested, but I wasn't at the time. Thankfully we were able to see a judge and create a temporary agreement for the main issues including moving and custody. I moved out on the last day of June 2020 and we've shared 50-50 custody on set schedule ever since.

Clarification: The people who were close to me were guessing that my ex was trying to poison me to either A) get rid of me entirely, or B) somehow paint me as unsuitable to share custody. No, there was no abuse on my part in the marriage. I was not an alcoholic or addict, and I always maintained a full time career until Covid layoff. Despite it being a clear-cut case for 50-50 custody, from the get go he asked for full legal and physical custody without visitations for me. That's why my friends took the odd behavior as his attempt to get rid of me. He also placed a tracker on my car (discovered by my now-husband much later), and put at least one camera in my bedroom - which became clear when he would text me about things I was doing in my bedroom with the door closed. Both of these items were used against him in our divorce trial. So, Was I Overracting when I became paranoid about living in the home with him?

So my husband (32) recently figured out that his mom (64) tried to get rid of him during her pregnancy. They were in a house party casually chatting, talking things about the past with each other’s close friends. Let’s just say some sort of mini reunion with childhood/hometown friends.

I noticed since then my husband would talk differently to his mom each time they’d have an argument.

He won’t admit anything nor comment about it, but I think it affected him greatly. Or is he overreacting?

Edit: im only asking bec i want to understand him as a wife. People in our circle would look at it as him being simply rude during the arguments. But when I look at the bigger picture he could be coming from a place of hurt.

My girlfriend thinks I don’t care that she wants to move in.

So let me paint the picture here. I recently got myself a place after living in an uncomfortable place with a parent. My girlfriend is on the fence of moving in with me. She’s expressed that she wants to move in, which I’m hella down for.

Last night after helping me move some stuff into the house she starts getting stressed out and crying saying she’s spending too much money on her car insurance and says she’s doesn’t have money for herself. This is after asking her to send me some money for this fast food that I got us.

I’ve been getting the food and dinner recently. We also just had an anniversary and I spent a good amount. I also just spent couple thousand on this new place for the deposit and first months rent, + helping my dad pay the rent for his place(not gonna get into that rn).

Anyways she says she might not see me for a while cuz she has to save money for gas and insurance. Sure, I get it. It kinda hurt but I understand. Then she texts me while I’m at work saying “I’m gonna move in!”. I respond “ayyyeeee”, “I love youu”, “Don’t feel pressured though my love”.

Later that day she tells me she’s been feeling sick. She left work early to go home and rest. I try to call no answer, no answer. My first thought is she’s sick sleeping.

I get off work and head to Home Depot to get packing materials. I get call from her. She sounds sick tells me shes doing better. I say great love. I then proceed to tell her that I’m packing. She asks can she help. Me trying to be understanding I’m like “it’s alright my love, you should rest I know you’re sick and you need to save gas money. I then tell her I’m driving and if I could call her later.

She calls me sad saying I shut her down. She says that I’m not excited for her to move in. She tells me that I didn’t express my excitement for her to move in. I tell her I forgot in that moment. My said “I’m sorry I was just in go mode trying to move”. I reassure her that I want her to live with me. We then just get more into it and start spiraling. I said this you said that. She ends up hurt saying I don’t care about her. I’m frustrated trying to prove that I do.

Am I over reacting. Yes I did forget in that moment to express my happiness. Am I in the wrong. I’m just confused tbh.

Edit:

I’m a 24m she’s a 24f. She does help with food occasionally and helps with household items. She said she would pay half the rent (800$). Currently she’s living at her parent’s house rent free. She does have job. I do make more.

My boyfriend and I were playing around and having playful banter when out of nowhere, he got really serious and said, “I’m on my last straw with you.”

I didn’t realize he was being serious at first, so I playfully grabbed the back of his neck because he was looking down at his phone and I wanted him to look at me. I asked him, “Wait, on your last straw with what?”

He slapped my hand away, then grabbed my neck back much harder and started pressing the sides of my neck. That immediately shook me up. He got upset and asked why I was grabbing his neck like that. I instantly apologized because maybe I grabbed him harder than I intended to.

But then I told him I didn’t grab the sides of his neck and press/squeeze them the way he did to me. He insisted that I did, and I genuinely swear I didn’t. At that point I felt like he was trying to make what I did sound exactly the same as what he did.

Then he kept telling me, “Go upstairs, bro.” I kept asking why he was telling me to go upstairs and what I had done because I was confused and had already apologized.

He got up and started walking upstairs, and I followed him because I was still trying to understand what was happening. He started yelling and asking why I was following him.
As we were going up the stairs, he waited for me to get in front of him and pushed me from behind while I was walking up the steps.

That’s when I started crying because I felt like everything had escalated way beyond what happened at the beginning.
I went into the bedroom and he went back downstairs. Then he came upstairs with a bottle of water and splashed/threw it all over my body and the bed. He called me a “dumb ass,” said I was antagonizing him, and walked out.

The part I’m also confused about is him saying I was antagonizing him. Before he suddenly got serious, we were literally joking around, play fighting, and going back and forth like normal. So when his whole demeanor changed out of nowhere, I kept questioning him because I genuinely didn’t understand what had just happened or why the situation suddenly became so serious.

I wasn’t following him around trying to make him angrier or trying to keep a fight going. I was asking what I did, why he was suddenly so upset, and why he was telling me to go upstairs because the switch from us playing around to him being genuinely angry was so abrupt.

Nothing like this has ever happened between us before, which is also why I was so confused and kept trying to understand what was going on.

I know grabbing the back of his neck was wrong, even though I meant it playfully, and I apologized for it. I’m not trying to act like I did nothing wrong.

But now I’m genuinely questioning myself maybe I’m missing something?

My ex (40m) and I (39f) have a very friendly and functional coparenting relationship. The kids are with him every other weekend. We mediated the divorce and custody out of court, we get together occasionally. Him and his gf's new baby will call me Auntie. It's been nice, albeit bumpy at times. He has been struggling with our 3 kids lately, as too much screen time has turned them slightly beastly and they haven't been cleaning up after themselves as much, along with some slight attitude. Things that I deal with here as well, and actively address and have seen progress at my house. But they also have the new baby, which can complicate feelings...Anyway, we agree that less screen time is a great place to start. We try to stay on the same page, which is helpful.

The kids are 15m, 12f and 9f.

I met him at our exchange meeting point Friday, he was friendly, we joked, all was well. Not long after they got to his house, I get a text from my middle child saying that she doesn't want to be there, she says they're being punished and she understood why but she was very upset. I tried to comfort her and let her know she would be ok without a phone, and to try and have a positive attitude..

They weren't at his house for 2 hours when I got a call from my ex saying that everyone was melting down because he took phones away, and our oldest was having a panic attack bc of it and he was considering taking him to the er for evaluation.

I'm on the phone trying to understand what the hell transpired in the 1.5 hours they've been there, when my oldest starts texting me that he needs to leave, he needs to come home. I'm seeing that while still on the phone with my ex, so I get off with him and let him know that I'm going to try and see what's going on with our son and try to help.

I text my 15yo and he doesn't respond.

In that moment I get a text from his gf, telling me that he's been texting her for an hour telling her that his dad unleashed on them on the drive to his house. He told them that their behavior has made him consider su*cide, that he's considered checking into the hospital because of their behavior and that he dreads the thought of them coming over. They give him panic attacks he told them.

Wtf.

This is what sent my son into a panic attack, this is why my middle was asking to come home.

I tell my ex that I have no problem picking them up if they're all having a tough time, that if he's struggling, I can take over, it's fine. I can cancel plans and head right over. He agrees and his gf drives them to meet me. I'm keeping calm for the sake of peace.

I get the kids in the car and they instantly break down and all say that as soon as I pulled away after exchange, their dad said all of that stuff, punished them all and ranted for the 25 minute ride home.

I text their dad to see what was said in the car and he didn't deny.

I've decided they won't be going there any time soon. I'm not sure what I or they need in order to feel safe and comfortable with him again, but I know it will take time. I don't want to damage their relationship, but I need to protect them.

Am I overreacting (I have been accused of this for this situation)? Because I honestly feel like I'm under reacting . But I'm so scared to do any damage and act too impulsively or out of anger. I just want my kids to be ok ( I want him to be ok too) so I'm following that instinct of mine.

Please note, he has a history of mental health issues, was admitted for a short time stay right after I told him I wanted a divorce, battles with depression, off and on meds...but he's never crossed the line like this before, in this way.

Please be kind... This has been tough.

Tash (mid30s f) and I ( mid30s f) have been friends since 11-12 with a wider friend group of 3 other girls.

-After university she moved to the other side of my small country so it become longer distance but we would keep a messenger chat and i would fly to see her once a year?

- after covid she went down the "natural" rabbit hole, and also had children ( i dont have them) and so we grew increasingly apart because of our differing point of views and focuses. I found it hard to see her want to put so much effort into raising her kids a particular way.

- inthe last five years she has become a mum influencer, and because of her business, lifestyle including homeschooling, social media, me and other friends would notice when she would be horrible with contact but would continually post on social media.

- 3 years ago another friend from our group Amelias' dad had deteriorated from cancer and he was battling to survive to attend her wedding. Tash had not regularly checked the messenger chat and Amelia was angry and did not want to invite Tash to the wedding. I messaged Tash to check the chat and they made up. At this time I also realised I needed to pull back communication as i knew i was always the one sending Tash memes, jokes and asking how she was.

Since the wedding Tash has gone through personal battles where the group has been there via chat. Some of these battles included the safety of her children and as I am trained social worker, i listened but i explained why agencies would want to get involved. I can imagine she probably felt judged by me.

I also flew down to her city 3 months ago to see her and others and drove a couple hours especially to spend time with her where i felt like I had put in effort to talk about our lives and hear more about how things had settled.

Two weeks ago my grandpa passed unexpectedly. He was 96 but seemed in good health the day before.

I messaged the chat, and everyone but Tash checked the chat and messaged me their thoughts and Amelia has been really supportive.

I have also made a couple stories and a post going throuhh hard times, flowers and included a funeral booklet on social media where Tash posts.

Tash has seen some of these stories but has not reacted and still has not checked the chat.

Tash knows my family, and is probably the only one of my close friends not to comment. I find myself hurt and frustrated and feel like cutting her off as a friend. Would I be over reacting if I did?

My boyfriend (30M) and I (27F) recently broke up after about a year together, and even though I was the one who ended it, I’m struggling with whether I overreacted.
I love him very much, and there were a lot of genuinely good parts of our relationship. I was at the point where I was seriously thinking about marriage and whether this was the person I wanted to build my life with. Early last week, he even mentioned going ring shopping.
The biggest problem throughout our relationship was his trust issues. He’s been cheated on in previous relationships, and I’ve always tried to understand where his fears come from. But over time, I started feeling like I was paying for things other women had done to him.
Over time, completely normal things started becoming reasons for suspicion.
If we weren’t spending the night together, he would sometimes randomly FaceTime me late at night. It wasn’t a normal “hey, what are you doing?” call. There would often be this suspicious, slightly angry tone that made me feel like I was being checked on or almost scolded. I would usually answer immediately, but eventually those calls started giving me anxiety because I felt like I had to demonstrate: See? I’m home. I’m alone. I’m where I said I was.
If I happened to scroll Instagram before texting him, he could get upset that I was active but hadn’t messaged him yet. If I wasn’t responding much during the workday for a few hours, his mind could go to the possibility that I had someone at my apartment. Meanwhile, I work in corporate. I’m in meetings. Sometimes I don’t text for three hours because I have a job.
Another time, I was out with friends and didn’t answer his text for a few hours. Once I responded, he FaceTimed me from the club. I immediately answered and showed him where I was. I got home about an hour later, and because one friend wasn’t in the Uber with me, he questioned whether I had secretly stopped at another man’s apartment between the time we FaceTimed and the time I got home.
One night he became desperate and frantic to go through my phone and at one point said, “Fine, let’s break up, but show me your phone.”
I initially refused because I didn’t want to establish a relationship where I was guilty until I proved my innocence. I eventually gave him my phone and obviously, he found nothing.
We also shared locations, and I started becoming hyperaware of things I never used to think about: how quickly I answered, whether I’d been active on Instagram, whether my location was displaying correctly, how long it had been since I’d texted him.
Beyond the anxiety, it honestly hurt and offended me. I was telling this person that I loved him, wanted something serious, and wanted a family and marriage. Meanwhile, I felt like I was repeatedly being treated as though I might secretly be living another life behind his back.
I didn’t want that to become my normal.
About two weeks before our breakup, I went to Hawaii with two friends and one of their moms. It was an incredibly wholesome trip. We were waking up around 6 AM and usually in bed by 11. But if I put my phone away for even an hour to enjoy myself, he’d question why I wasn’t responding, what we were doing, or whether we were meeting people at the resort. He’d repeatedly FaceTime and ask who was around me or why I hadn’t answered immediately.
The last night of the trip, he was FaceTiming me again to see what I was doing and I had enough. I was so frustrated that I finally answered almost specifically to show him how ridiculous the suspicion was. There I was, exactly where I’d said I was, sitting with my two friends and one of their moms and made him say hi to him.
He actually seemed embarrassed once he saw everyone and apologized to me saying “I don’t know why I think this way.”
When I got home, I had a conversation with him. I told him what happened while I was in Hawaii couldn’t happen again. I shouldn’t have to spend a spa-like vacation constantly reassuring my boyfriend that I’m not secretly cheating on him.
I told him clearly: if this happened again, I couldn’t continue the relationship.
About a week later, it happened again.
I had been sick for two days. He spent the first night with me but couldn’t spend the second night. The next day he came over, and instead of believing I was actually sick, he became suspicious that I was lying and that someone had come over the night he was gone because I hadn’t been answering for long periods of time.
It escalated to him going through my trash looking for evidence.
Something in me just broke.
It wasn’t only the trash (even thought I thought it was kinda crazy)- I had literally just told him after Hawaii that I couldn’t keep living like this, and within about a week we were right back in the same place, except it had escalated further.
I started thinking beyond the immediate argument.
I’m ready for marriage and a serious life partnership. How am I supposed to make huge, life-altering decisions with someone who, after a year together, can still become convinced I’m cheating because I was sick for two days?
So I broke up with him in person.
He was devastated. He begged me to give him another chance and promised he would change. He was extremely upset that I wouldn’t give him “another chance,” but I’ve communicated multiple times how terrible this made me feel, how much anxiety it caused me, and how much I just wanted trust. Plus, I had explicitly warned him after Hawaii that I couldn’t do this again.
That’s why I’m struggling now.
I don’t think he’s a bad person. I understand where a lot of this comes from. I think he’s terrified of being cheated on and of not being enough. I still love him, and I miss him terribly.
Part of me wonders whether I should have stayed and given him the opportunity to actually work through it, especially because he was begging me not to leave and promising that this time would be different.
But another part of me thinks I would have been hurting myself while waiting and hoping he’d eventually become capable of trusting me. I don’t want to marry someone based on who I hope they’ll eventually become.
After the breakup four days ago, I sent him a long message telling him I love him, that I wished I could stay, but that I couldn’t keep doing this and hoped he would heal.
He didn’t respond for two days. Then his only message was that he wished I’d been there to see him play pool at a bar we used to go to together. He didn’t acknowledge the breakup or anything I’d said. I don’t really know what to make of that.
I’m heartbroken. I miss him enough that I keep questioning a decision I felt very sure about when I made it.
AIO for ending the relationship after the final incident instead of giving him another chance to change, even though I still love him and he was asking me to stay?

My husband (28M) and I (22F) have been married for a little over a year. About 7 months ago, he started sharing his location with 20+ of his friends. They can essentially see where he is 24/7.

I’ve told him that this makes me uncomfortable. It’s not that I necessarily think he’s doing anything wrong by sharing his location, but I don’t understand why so many people need to have constant access to his whereabouts.

His reasoning is that it’s for “safety.” My issue is that many of these friends live in completely different states or have jobs/families of their own, so realistically, most of them wouldn’t be able to immediately come help him in an emergency anyway. There have also been a few occasions where his friends have asked him why he was at a certain place because they saw his location.

What bothers me more is what feels like a double standard around privacy.

He has told me that he believes our marriage should be private and has said to me, “The sanctity of a marriage lies in the beauty of its privacy.”

We were previously on the verge of divorce, and during that time I spoke to two close friends about some of our marital problems. I also brought them with me as witnesses when I met with an Imam about our issues. He was very upset that I had discussed details of our marriage with them because he felt our marriage should remain private.

At the same time, he shares his physical location constantly with 20+ people.

He also refuses to post us on social media because of “privacy” and the evil eye. He isn’t comfortable with me posting him/us on TikTok either, even if I’m wearing hijab and the post is otherwise modest.

I understand wanting privacy in a marriage, and I don’t think couples need to broadcast their relationship online. What I’m struggling with is why our relationship is considered too private to share publicly, while his literal whereabouts are shared with dozens of people 24/7.

I just don’t understand why he seems to have such a strong standard about keeping our marriage private while being completely comfortable with so many friends knowing where he is at all times.

AIO for feeling like this is a double standard? Or am I making the location-sharing thing into something bigger than it actually is?

At some point we had 3 cats who lived together.

Our first cat to go was a miniature cat, who came up to us scared when she was a kitten. After about 3 years, she started throwing up due to anxiety, she was the definition of a scaredy cat. My mom would hit her with a belt every time she threw up and eventually drove her somewhere left her and didn’t tell me or my sister where.

Our second cat we rescued from the rain when she was a kitten. We raised her for 6 years, I had to live elsewhere, but where I lived I couldn’t have pets so my mom had to care for her. After a year when I saw the cat again she was very matted and when I said I couldn’t take her, she made me pay to have her put down or she would take my car so I had to pay.. she was second to go.

The 3rd cat is current, he is also about 6 years old and he started throwing up recently, I think due to only eating hard food for most of his life which I stated. She is tired of it so she made him an outside cat and she does not allow him in. He has never experienced being outside. She is hoping nature will take care of him so she won’t have to deal with him any longer. It is my little sister’s favorite cat who she has to watch him stay at our door outside and not be able to have him in her bed like she used to. She has to listen otherwise our mom would hit her. I live in a different town now so not much I can do.

I believe all the cats have experienced getting hit with a belt at some point as well.

But I am not sure if i’m overreacting for not having any feelings at all for her or caring about her wellbeing anymore due to her just being a careless person in general and in several ways throughout my whole life. But the animals is the final straw..

I’m 20F and my friend is 19F. We’ve been friends since high school and used to be really close. She moved to another state, but we stayed in contact and FaceTimed often, so I decided to visit her this summer.
I was really excited, but once I got there, she seemed annoyed that I was there and was constantly rude to me. I was also dealing with relationship problems at the time, which she and her family knew about, so I was already emotionally drained.
One night, I was exhausted and I was sunburnt bad, to the point that it hurt to sleep or even wear clothes. I didn’t want to go out, and she ended up crying to her mom about it.
(She made me feel really bad for not going but I stood my ground and stayed in )
Later that week, she was talking rudely and down on me so I asked her not to talk to me like that, she loudly was like “BITCH FUCK YOU” I told her I didn’t appreciate being spoken to that way and walked away to her room to scroll on my phone instead of arguing. (She said me walking away is disrespectful and childish)

Throughout the trip, we’d talk about our disagreements, and whenever I expressed how I felt, I felt like she would invalidate the way I felt or tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way. Meanwhile, whenever she told me how she felt, I would acknowledge her feelings and apologize that she felt hurt, even if I didn’t necessarily agree with her perspective.
She then brought her mom into the conversation, making it feel like a 2-vs-1 situation.
At that point, I felt so unwanted and uncomfortable that I booked an earlier flight home, costing me $450

Her parents even asked if she was going to take me to the airport, and she said no, so I paid another $60 to uber to airport. What hurt most was that she didn’t even say goodbye to me. The friend who came with me did, though, and honestly, I’m glad he was there because it made leaving easier.
I know my friend didn’t technically owe me a ride or a goodbye, but combined with everything else, it made me feel like she genuinely didn’t want me there.
I went there because I cared about our friendship, spent money to visit her, and ended up spending even more money just to leave because I felt so uncomfortable.

I should mention we having talked since the night of our argument when I booked the flight home early.

Am I overreacting for being this hurt?
Would you try to repair this friendship or just distance yourself?

I can’t tell if I’m just being oversensitive or if this is an actual issue, but whenever I suggest any change to my appearance (hair colour, piercings) my boyfriend really shits on it. One time I pranked him that I went blonde (which I’m planning to do anyway - now brunette) and he genuinely got MAD. I’ve brought this issue up to him before but he says he’s just being honest and doesn’t want to lie to me and just be the yes man, but I wouldn’t have thought that you would have to lie to be supportive of your girlfriend. Anything he suggests about himself of the same nature I am super supportive and it’s genuine too.

Is it good that he’s being honest and I’m just overreacting, or is this an issue?

Hi friends. I just want to preface that I might miss some info in my post so if you need more context, please let me know. I also want to apologize if this post is all over the place.

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I’m a 29F who got married and moved from Canada to the US at 25. My husband (29M) is American and is in the trades.

Shortly after moving here, all I could do was wait for my work stuff to be processed so in the meantime, I took care of the home and everything else so all my husband would need to do is go to work and come home. I felt that this was the least I could contribute since he works 10 hours a day (50 hrs/wk). He also told me that he didn’t care if I worked or not.

A few months later, my work stuff finally got sorted but I had trouble looking for work because I was mainly looking for remote jobs since we only had 1 vehicle at the time. I ended up picking up a hobby which I transitioned into a small business. Everything was entirely online. I wasn’t making a livable wage my any means. I was making about $10k in revenue a year with low maintenance costs while working about 10 hours a week.

As someone who’s never had any experience with running a small business, I genuinely struggled. I had to learn everything from scratch and in 2025, I almost got sued for someone else’s mistake. I was also dealing with loads of health issues (was throwing up everyday for 3 months straight with no diagnosis) and something in me just broke. I had multiple mental breakdowns and this led my husband to just have a negative view of the business I was trying to grow.

Fast forward to 2026, I made an announcement that I was taking an indefinite leave from my business. My husband and I agreed that it’s good for me to get a part-time job for more income stability and just less stress.

Recently, I’ve been getting the itch to go back and run my shop again because I genuinely enjoy creating. It’s the one thing in my life that I started for myself without any external factors.

I was at breakfast with my husband earlier and I told him that I was thinking of working on my shop again. He got upset saying that he thought I was going to get a job. And I don’t know if it was a Freudian slip but he said that he was really looking forward to the extra income. This kind of caught me off guard because 1) we’re not really struggling financially, I handle the finances so I know the numbers, 2) he said that he wanted me to get a job for my mental health and 3) he said he didn’t care if I worked or not.

So here I am now at 11 pm wondering if it’s really about my mental health or the money. He tells me that he thinks it’s good for me to get out and be around people. He wants me to become my own person and have something for myself. This confuses me because I’m naturally a hermit and I’m fine being alone and I was trying to build something for myself and yet the idea of returning to that upsets him. He on the other hand is more outgoing and extroverted. I can’t help but think that he thinks that being out there is what I want when it’s actually the opposite.

He’s also about to turn 30 and he all of a sudden really wants a house, kids, a business and to travel and do more things. I can’t help but experience a bit of mental whiplash because though we talked about all of the above to a certain extent, it was more “wishy washy” back then and now it’s more “I want this tomorrow” (or that was at least the vibe I was getting).

I have talked to my husband about my thoughts on it but I feel like I still have much to talk about. I’m really just making this post to get some outside perspective and to help organize my thoughts before I bring it up again. If I missed anything out please lmk. Thank you

Club Pilates Rant

So at our Club Pilates AC has been out which has now lasted for 10 days. While I appreciate that fans and water have been provided, the hot and humid conditions make it impossible for me to work out comfortably. As a loyal member for over 5 years, I pay a significant amount for these facilities, yet I have only been able to attend once since the AC broke.

I understand that the existing system cannot be fixed and a new HVAC system is required. However, following the recent acquisition of the studio, this situation raises concerns about how the club will be managed moving forward.

Given that I am unable to use the facilities I am paying for, is it unreasonable for me to request either a penalty-free cancellation of my contract or a prorated refund for the current month.

Am the one that is being unreasonable?

For context we go to a rural school with 100 kids max.
Mostly white farming families.
I have 2 daughters they are half Chinese.

There is 1 particular mother I feel strange about.
Firstly she was making comments to my 5 year old at the start of the year which have now stopped “carry your own bag” when her older sister was helping her.
My 5 year old told her to mind her business and then the woman approached me and told on my child.

Now we haven’t had any issues for a long time but her comments still make me feel uneasy.
Once she started a conversation with me to tell me she knows another family with Asian children and asked me my children’s backgrounds.

Now every time I see her at a school event she is commenting on my 8 year olds beauty? Never my 5 year old who is more white presenting.
She just keeps mentioning I hope she knows how beautiful she is, she’s so beautiful, her hair is so beautiful.
She has said this to me on 5/6 different occasions.

I just feel uneasy about it?
I have never once commented on her children’s appearance or even felt commenting on them.

I would understand if my daughter were a baby and she was saying “omg she’s a cutie” but not this

Am I overreacting for feeling this way?

I recently started a teacher assistant job at a small preschool. I was really excited about it, and I genuinely loved working with the kids. I still feel kinda guilty about leaving them, and I miss them.

The problem was my lead teacher.

Every day I went in knowing with 100% certainty I was going to make a mistake and my teacher was going to try and be patient with me until she decided she could no longer work with me anymore.

It felt like she expected all the kids to behave all the time. 

The confusing part is that she could be genuinely wonderful at times. Some days were great. She could be kind, encouraging, funny, and a really good teacher. A good day was when she was mostly nice and only a little condescending once or twice.

A bad day was when the entire classroom environment became scary enough that I wanted to quit, and that fear would linger into the next day even if she was nice again.
I went to HR multiple times, the principal twice. I didn’t know what to do anymore because while they kept repeating they were taking my words seriously, they didn’t do anything that I could see, except have chats with my teacher about her tone. They were giving a lot more grace to her than my teacher was giving to me or the kids she was responsible for.

During my first week, before the students started:

She spent several days telling me I was doing well and then pulled me aside after shutting our classroom door to tell me that nothing was done to her standards.

Some of the things she said included:

“Tell me what you’re good at because clearly none of the work I’ve given you.”

“HR told me you’re a newbie and to train you but I don’t know if I can.”

“I’m trying to be honest with you here. I’m trying not to cry. I feel like I’m doing everything alone here.”

“I’ve only given you easy tasks so far but nothing has gotten done.”

I was unable to respond at the time because I was blindsided and I don't handle sudden emotional confrontations well.

The first day of school:

There were multiple instances where she told me, in front of students and in loud tones, that she didn't want certain children in her classroom or that she would talk to the principal because the kids' behavior was unacceptable, mainly because they were crying.

One child was crying because the teacher had raised her voice at another student. Another child also became upset. My teacher kept being mean to them, saying “stop crying!” which obviously didn’t help.

During a drill, she physically positioned one of the crying children in a way that made the child cry more. The kid then urinated themself, as not all of the children are potty trained, and my teacher was loudly discussing having to call another staff member and repeatedly said she couldn't have this kid in her classroom.

This kid eventually withdrew from our class because her mother said the kid had developed some kind of fear about school she couldn’t understand.

There were also things I witnessed involving other students:

• She called one child (a non-english speaker, who is just now learning english with us) a “very very bad girl” multiple times, loudly, for not putting her feet on the floor while sitting in a chair. She also loudly said in front of the kids multiple times, “Something is wrong with her. She has something, I just know it. She needs to go get tested.” She's often loud and rude to this kid (“Oh look, she’s going to throw another tantrum,” or once asking another kid who sat beside this child, “Are you really sure you want to sit THERE?” In a negative tone). This child does not listen to directions well-- not out of spite, but because the child's mind seems to wander a lot and makes it hard for her to focus on us. 
• My teacher repeatedly told me, “I feel like I’m doing everything around here.” I was trying. I didn't just stand around when I saw there were things to do. I never sat down with nothing to do except during my break.
• She told me multiple times, “I'm trying to be patient with you,” or would take a long breath and exhale with her eyes closed when I made a mistake, like she was trying to find it in herself to handle the situation.
• She repeatedly talked about not wanting one of the students back in her classroom, saying things like, “She's the one who kept on crying, remember?” and “I hope she doesn't come back, imagine how she'll mess up the classroom.”
• One day, a child kept crying and she was VERY loud with him. Like, yelling at him in his face while wearing a mike. My teacher told me she couldn't deal with him anymore and couldn't have him in her classroom. I took him out and calmed him down. When I brought him back, she said, “No—take him anywhere but don't bring him back here. I don't want to see him.” She was very loud with him, asking him, “Are you going to cry?” repeatedly until he started crying again. She said loudly enough for the children to hear, “I can't wait until he's done with this class,” after he had an accident in the bathroom.
• She repeatedly told students “I don't care!” loudly enough that they started repeating it to each other.
• She asked students multiple times, “What is wrong with you?” when they didn't immediately listen.

I had already asked HR whether I could be moved to another classroom, but they said that if it didn't work out with her, they weren't sure where they could put me.

So I quit.

Sometimes the kids would look at me like they wanted me to do something, and I couldn't. I could only step in where I could, or be extra nice to students after they got yelled at by her. I could handle everything else about the job, but I didn't want to feel like a bad person or pretend I was alright with how my teacher talked to the kids. After school everyday, I felt dis-regulated and off, because I was around someone who was just so high-strung all day. My teacher always felt like she was teetering on some edge, like one bad moment from snapping.
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AIO for quitting?

I have 3 close friends. 1 (male) has been in an on and off relationship for the last 6 1/2 years. she has hit him, called the police on him, made lies about him to the police stalks him, stalks me and my husband. Will find his other friend’s addresses and will show up to their homes unannounced when he is over. The cherry on top is that my husband and I have never met her in these 6 1/2 years. She accuses me of wanting to fuck him, will make inappropriate comments about me and him. Will dm me hateful things on Instagram and then block me. It has made me distance myself from my friend as it is just very uncomfortable.

My second friend. Her and I have been good friends for over 15 years. She has been with her boyfriend for a little over a year but I have known her boyfriend for over 10 years prior to them getting together. (Acquaintances, not really friends with him) in the span of less than a year he has planned and gone on multiple trips without her, will hang out with other women alone and won’t tell her where he is, will fly women out to his city and not allow his gf to meet them. He has given her STD’s. He is disrespectful towards her, her religion and her family. Whenever my husband and I hang out with them he won’t even talk to us. He’s either on FaceTime with his boys or is planning video games in the other room. If we are out in public he will fall asleep at the table and not engage in conversation.

My last friend, her and I have been good friends for over 20 years. They have been together for 2 years. Every time I see him all he talks about is his ex fiancé and how he was engaged. He brags about the ring he got his ex which I just find odd. He also just doesn’t engage in conversation with us, we will try to invite them places and she says that he doesn’t like to leave the house. Because of this I don’t really see my friend that much anymore anyways.

I thought that my husband and I were the problem and that we were just being judgmental. Until over the last couple months we have made it a priority to hang out with our other friends that are also in relationships, some long-term relationships and some newer relationships. It has been amazing! We have so much fun with them, the conversations are engaging and when we go out we all have a great time. They are genuine people and we want to go out of our way to spend time with them.

The difference is that the 3 other friends are ones that I have considered my “best friends” over the years, but it’s been really hard to want to be around people that allow their partners to treat them poorly and just want to constantly complain about it but do nothing to fix it. I have tried to have conversations with my friends and they don’t see an issue - fine it’s not my relationship, not my life. But it is hard to want to be around them. Am I overreacting for wanting to distance myself?

**To clarify as well - this is not a oh they are in a weird spot so I’m gonna stop talking to them thing. This is a I have tried to have conversations with them, I have been there for them, I always drop everything to be there for them when shit goes wrong (specifically speaking about their relationships) I give them advice but they always go back. I know all too well that they will not leave until if/when they are ready and it’s gotten to the point of I want to surround myself with like minded people.

Me (27f) and him (33m) have been together for just over a year, we are very different people, im far more sensitive than him because he’s seen a lot of things working with saving people’s lifes and stuff. But i think im noticing the longer we’re together the more understanding we have for each other’s way of coping with things.

Nevertheless there are moments where i dont understand why i react a certain way.
Because first of all, he is suuuch a gentleman, he cares for me and loves me and i feel the same about him, he is very romantic, our values align, it’s the best relationship i’ve ever had. Im usually very happy and he is as well.

But then sometimes something happens that in retrospect is not a big deal but it hurts me so deeply.

For example- we were abroad, there were musicians on the street, its was a late evening and i wanted to be spontaneous and dance in the middle of the cathedral but he felt sort of uncomfortable and said he doesnt remember any steps and why do we have to dance in the middle and so i said we dont have too its fine, and i got very sad about it, then he tried to dance me up but the mood was not there anymore so i said lets just go somewhere else and then we got to talking and he raised a question of if he even makes me happy because he cannot be as spontaneous as i would like him to be. I said that he does make me happy, only sometimes not but isnt that normal?
We kind of talked it out, the evening ended up being very nice, but the question of compatibility was still lingering and we both just said we dont know.

I know it sounds kind of dramatic but keep in mind this is just one story, its always something like this when we’re doing something nice. I dont want to be too specific (even tho that was very specific) but sometimes its something he says thats saddens me because i expected a deeper answer, sometimes its the way im usually the one coming onto him when we’re being intimate, even tho he takes control later on- sometimes i wish he would be dominant in the beginning.

And its all these sort of silly expectations from me. Silly in the sense that it would be silly to drop this relationship for these reasons.

So i question myself: is he almost perfect and because i feel the ‘almost’ i wish he would be 100% perfect?

Do i subconsciously search for reasons to get upset?

Am i just older now and evaluate relationships differently than before? Because when i think of my past ones- in ways they sucked reaaally bad but i dont remember getting sad so often about them. But maybe now that i consider spending the rest of my life with this person i look into things too deeply?
Some might even think that i can and should ask for more but i don’t think thats right. This person goes over the mountains to be a good partner to me and be a good person in general and relationships are about compromise.

I can see how tiring this is for him, because whenever a situation arises i usually cry a little, get very sad, it takes a while to shake it off.
I really value him and wish for this relationship to work out, any advice or observations are welcomed
And dear God I hope he’s not reading this:D

I (21F) work at a summer camp over summer break and I have a new coworker this year, Daniel (22M). Daniel and I got along since we met, and we are very similar people so we were fast friends. However, a few weeks into the summer, he became more touchy with me. He would hug me occasionally, sit close to me, touch my arm. I didn’t think very much of it, and thought that he might just be a touchy person. I thought he might feel something more for me then, but pushed it down.

After a bit, I felt that he started becoming more forward. He was always around me. He would always talk to me, laugh the loudest at my jokes, and find many excuses to touch me. Now that the summer has ended, he texts me almost every day and we frequently have long conversations and talk to each other, and he has said multiple times that he would like to meet up.

I’ve talked to some of my friends and asked their opinions, and about half of them are saying he has an obvious crush and the other half are saying that I’m overthinking and he probably just wants to be friends. It’s kinda driving me crazy so I wanted to see what people with an outside perspective would think. AIO by thinking that my male coworker has a crush on me?

TLDR: My male coworker has been touching me and talking to me frequently, AIO for thinking that he has a crush on me?