I'm going to start by saying I didn't know how to title this but to give context I (21F) and my fiance (27M) have an apartment with 2 cats, a ball python and a guinea pig. He works as a produce production at a grocery store full time, hes in a freezer cutting, juicing, and all the fun stuff that ends up out front. Hes usually a 12pm-9pm shift with occasional 4am-12:30pm shifts.

I am a part timer at the same place but as a cashier, I go to school ft in college, and have an internship which I need to dedicate 20 hours weekly on top of a minimum 30 hours at work to help pay bills with him. My degree is veterinary so I'm always having some where to go.

Before I had my internship and an apartment with him, we were long distance and when we got an apartment he couldn't move just yet so I took it upon me to clean everything around the house, because it was me at the time. I didn't have cats either so it was just my snake before my parents gave me my guinea pig I had to leave behind for college. When he moved in, we split chores up equally-ish as he was working full time and I was part time still with part time school as it was winter/spring and was figuring out community college stuff. I would cook, care for mochi(snake) and then my guinea pig because they were my responsibility. I would also clean our living room, dining room, laundry, and main bedroom floor, and occasionally tidy up main bathroom (we have a 2bd 2bth apartment)

His chores consist of, keeping his desk clean in his game room, dishes after dinner, and trash. Even then, he has me put dishes up because he says he doesn't know where things go, even though we have been living here for a year. And has me refil the trash because he takes it out. I started trying to tell him to refil the trash can because it's his job to do the trash fully that includes putting a new bag in but because it was simple I rather not argue over something small so I just suck it up and do it. Same with the dishes I suck it up and put them away.

Hes always wanted kids and still does and I don't mind it if we get a proper home and I'm not busy with school. We got 2 cats because he's always wanted pet cats and I love cats and can use them as my testers when I want to learn or visually see something for my studies. I just had a rule because to get him used to it because if I'm pregnant I cannot do a liter box clean as it is a risk to pregnancy. The cats are his responsibility, which include feed them 2x a day, liter (we have a auto liter box so basically needs emptying every 2 or so weeks) and water when our fountain says its out with a bright red light. Before the automatic liter box we had a normal one and I would have to keep reminding him every week to empty it out and he would complain saying he needs help because it's heavy. So I asked dif this would help a auto liter and he said yes he will be better with it.

To this day I would have to remind him to refil it, and every time I would tell him "hey liter box is flipped(meaning it's closed and cats can't go in) and needs to be empty" and he always says "didn't know or see I'll do it rq" and does it. He barley feeds them himself, theoretically in a week time that's 14 times to fill their food bowls, 10 of them would be me and the other 4 are if I'm closing a shift at work and have him feed them at night. They get fed at 11am-12pm and 8-9pm as they eat slower at night.

When I started to get frustrated with the lack of household help was when we did a house reset because school was about to start and I want a clean home while I'm very busy. We split up all the places and things to do evenly. In the end he spent a whole day either eating on the couch, or walking around, and when he did something he goes to saying "we should work together and tag team this" even though I spent the day cleaning 3 rooms, without food or a break, and even knocked out part of his chores. When his chore was to clean the liter box and vacuum the liter that was tossed he said "ok liter box done can you vacuum since I don't know how to use a vacuum" I almost flipped and when I said its his job he got upset saying we should be working together.

Now that school started, nothing has changed chore wise, I have to beg him to clean dishes and even then they still overpile even when I haven't cooked in a bit, I feed cats almost daily, and even after 3 reminders of fill liter box, when he does it he never changes it out so he goes to work and I'm doing liter. He shrugs it off everytime and I feel like now that I'm roughly doing the same amount of work outside the house, or just straight busy, we should be equaling out chores more but he doesn't agree with it because he works 40 hours and just says "welcome to my world but I got to get up at 3am sometimes"

Am I overreacting to getting mad at that or does something need to change?

A music artist my gf is a fan of a has announced a tour for this year. They’re not playing new us so she would have to travel to a different city for the night, 

It’s not an artist I’m a fan of but her best friend really likes them and said to my gf she would go with her. My girlfriend said she thinks I should be going with her. I pointed out I’ve been to a lot of concerts with her for people I don’t like because she doesn’t have anyone to go with but now she does. 

It’s the weekend after gta 6 comes out so  I pointed out to her it’s a win win since she gets to se the artist and have a night say with her friend who she doesn’t get to see that often and I get the weekend to myself to enjoy gta without feeling bad. 

My gf just sis I should be considering going with her. I pointed out she doesn’t need me there and it’s weird she’s wanting me to waste money to see an artist I don’t want to see when her friend is wanting to go with her, 

AITA for not going to the concert?

i work from home the majority of the time and I use the small spare room in the apartment as a home office. My partner works from home on average around twice a week but it’s by choice. She chooses her work from home days and can choose to go into the office more if she wanted.

She has the other spare room to use but chooses to work in the living room. This is fine most of the time as we work the same hours.

I’ve put a week days leave in this month as annual leave as a there are a few video games I’m looking forward to comes out and I want to play them for a few days. My girlfriend has known about these plans since I made them at the beginning of August.

This morning she mentioned that she'll be working from home for a couple of thise days and will have meetings etc. I just said if she wants privacy for the meetings she can use either my home office or the other spare room that has her desk. She said no and that she likes using the living room.

I told her if she wants to stay in the living room she'll have to be fine with me being in there. She said no and that I should let her work and find something else to do for my leave but I just said she can't kick me out of a shared space on my days off just because she refuses to work in another room.

She said I wasn't being fair and that I can play my game another time but I just reiterated that I'd be playing during the day as I’ve specifically took the days off to do it and she can either work in another room or accept I'll be in the living room as she can’t completely take over shared soaces. She just said again I wasn't being fair to her as she has work.

AITAH for gaming in the living room?

I’ve (18F) been seeing this guy (20M) for a little over 2 months now, and we’re both quite serious about each other. We’re exclusive, we’ve been on dates, we’re emotionally close, we’ve been physically intimate with each other, and generally we’re doing pretty much everything people in a relationship would do, except we’re not officially dating.

I know this might sound like he’s keeping me a secret, but I don’t think that’s really the case. All of his close friends know about me, and his other friends basically know that he’s seeing/dating someone. So it’s not like he’s hiding me from everyone.

The reason he hasn’t asked me to officially be his girlfriend is because he says he wants to take his time and work through/fix some personal issues before getting into an actual relationship. I understand that, and I’m not necessarily angry at him for not being ready. If he genuinely isn’t ready for a relationship, I’d rather he be honest about it than force himself into one.

What bothers me is that at the same time, we’re already acting like a couple. We have the emotional intimacy, exclusivity, physical affection, dates, etc. All of my friends basically know him as my boyfriend because that’s what our relationship looks like from the outside.

And as much as I hate admitting it, the lack of an actual relationship does bother me.
Part of me feels like if he’s genuinely not ready for a relationship, then we should also put some limits on the things we’re doing that are essentially relationship things. Otherwise, I’m kind of getting all the responsibilities and emotional investment of a relationship without actually being in one.

At the same time, I don’t want to pressure him into officially dating me before he’s ready. If he told me that he doesn’t want a relationship with me at all, I’d accept that and move on. What confuses me is that he clearly does take us seriously and acts like he wants this to eventually become a relationship, but there’s no real timeline or clear point where that changes.

So AIO for feeling bothered by this and thinking that if he’s not ready for a relationship, we shouldn’t continue acting like we’re already in one?

I genuinely want opinions from both sides because I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable or if this is a valid boundary to have.

I really need an outside reality check because I feel like I don’t know what is real anymore.

Every time my ex and I get back together, things are amazing for about a month. He acts loving, supportive, and tells me he’s changed. But then the mask slips, and it always ends up back here with me being blamed completely for everything.

Some background: Our relationship originally involved going to sex clubs and swinging. We have a great sex life, and I enjoy sex a lot. He has a kink where he likes me being with other men, but I have explicitly decided I don't want to do that anymore. He flips back and forth on it constantly saying he doesn't want it either, then changing his mind and saying he wishes I were "sluttier." I even told him he could see other women to fulfill that need, but I want out of it.

I work hard to show up for him sexually. Even when I have literally begged him to wait for a painful UTI to clear up, I still haven't turned him down for sex. But last week he started playing mind games. He told me he "wasn't feeling sexual anymore" to see if I'd be supportive. When I said I would be, he admitted a day later he was just "messing with me" to test my reaction, complaining that he has "done everything I wanted like dates and cuddling" as if affection is a transaction.

I know I am going through a lot right now and it’s a lot for anyone to put up with. I am a mother of three, I work a physically demanding day job and I'm facing over $10000 in rental arrears, and my mother’s health is declining fast.

He has helped me out a lot financially and I admit I have emotionally dumped on him in the past, but since we’ve been back together, I have kept my problems entirely to myself and focused purely on listening to his.

Yesterday, I hit a breaking point. I was completely exhausted, experiencing severe physical pain in my stomach and ovaries, and had a terrible headache. I texted him setting a clear boundary: I didn't want to talk about my problems, I didn't want to talk about sex, and I just needed to lie down and be alone for the night.

Instead of respecting that, he completely ignored my boundaries. He started making explicit sexual demands over text, telling me to "open my legs for daddy" and demanding I tell him how much I love him right now. When I told him I wasn't ok and needed space, he literally texted back: "I'm not giving you any space." He then started making ominous threats, telling me things were going to get "much worse" if I pushed him further.

When I brought up my stress, his response was completely cold: "I asked you what happened yesterday though, not about all your stress." To top it off, he sent me a news article link about a mother who killed her three children due to postpartum depression, comparing my emotional breakdowns to a horrific tragedy just to make me feel insane and dangerous.

When I finally got angry and yelled at him for refusing to respect a single boundary, he flipped the script. He told me he has "given me grace," called me self-destructive, and claims that I am the abusive, controlling one.
I feel so stupid. I genuinely thought he changed this time around.

This has been really hard for me and because I keep going back my friends and family don’t want to hear about it anymore and call him a narcissist. I don’t know if that’s completely true as I know in some capacity he does feel genuine love for me but I don’t know anymore.

Am I in the wrong here? Is it reactive abuse, or am I actually the problem?

I will attach some screenshots I’m the green text box

My husband (28M) and I (22F) have been married for a little over a year. About 7 months ago, he started sharing his location with 20+ of his friends. They can essentially see where he is 24/7.

I’ve told him that this makes me uncomfortable. It’s not that I necessarily think he’s doing anything wrong by sharing his location, but I don’t understand why so many people need to have constant access to his whereabouts.

His reasoning is that it’s for “safety.” My issue is that many of these friends live in completely different states or have jobs/families of their own, so realistically, most of them wouldn’t be able to immediately come help him in an emergency anyway. There have also been a few occasions where his friends have asked him why he was at a certain place because they saw his location.

What bothers me more is what feels like a double standard around privacy.

He has told me that he believes our marriage should be private and has said to me, “The sanctity of a marriage lies in the beauty of its privacy.”

We were previously on the verge of divorce, and during that time I spoke to two close friends about some of our marital problems. I also brought them with me as witnesses when I met with an Imam about our issues. He was very upset that I had discussed details of our marriage with them because he felt our marriage should remain private.

At the same time, he shares his physical location constantly with 20+ people.

He also refuses to post us on social media because of “privacy” and the evil eye. He isn’t comfortable with me posting him/us on TikTok either, even if I’m wearing hijab and the post is otherwise modest.

I understand wanting privacy in a marriage, and I don’t think couples need to broadcast their relationship online. What I’m struggling with is why our relationship is considered too private to share publicly, while his literal whereabouts are shared with dozens of people 24/7.

I just don’t understand why he seems to have such a strong standard about keeping our marriage private while being completely comfortable with so many friends knowing where he is at all times.

AIO for feeling like this is a double standard? Or am I making the location-sharing thing into something bigger than it actually is?

We’ve got builders at our house this week and I’ve been bringing them tea/water and checking in every few hours.

I work completely from home for a US company, so obviously I’m around the house all day. Today my brother went into his office and my dad was at work, meaning it was just me and my mum at home.

I took one of the builders some tea and out of nowhere he asked me in Hindi, “Kaam nahi karta?” basically, “You don’t work?”
I was about to say, “Yeah, I work from home on my laptop,” but my neighbour walked past at that exact moment, they started saying hello and my response got completely lost. I just went back upstairs.

It’s a tiny thing, but it mildly irritated me afterwards. Being at home during working hours doesn’t exactly mean someone is unemployed. They could work remotely, be off that day, work nights, etc. And even if someone doesn’t work, it seems like a slightly personal question to randomly ask.

Am I over reacting in thinking that he tried to disrespect me and I should call him out when he comes tomorrow?

I sent a message asking this person to pick up a Wii game I put on hold at the library. I put this Wii game on hold for them as this is a specific game they asked for from the library so they know I did this. Today was the last day the library would put the game on hold for me and I didn’t have time to pick it up before work so I asked them to do it. Then you see what they said.

This isn’t the only person that just sends “?” To me. I don’t get it. Am I stupid? Everyone I message whether it’s friends or coworkers or anyone will always just send “?”. I don’t understand what this means. Are they confused about something? If so, what are they confused about? Does it mean they don’t want to pick the game up? Every time I just get a question mark after explaining myself I tend to just ignore it now because they won’t tell me anything else even after asking to elaborate, everyone just sends the same thing again. A question mark. What am I missing here?

I have asked everyone I know not to send me this and just say why they are confused or if they have a question about something I said.

AIO for just ignoring people after “?” Now since they won’t tell me what it means?

Does anyone else have this problem?

Clarification for the last text seen: They asked me how therapy was because they knew I was coming from that. I didn’t say anything though because I was just upset I don’t know what “?” Means.

Hi! I never post on reddits but I've been seeing a lot of posts so I'm sorry if there any wrongs here. Also, English isn't my first language sorry for lacking of vocab/grammar. It will be long since I provide context first sorry!!!

So I have a boyfriend and we are in long distance relationship. Recently both of us got a job (he got it first before me) but our schedule isn't match. His work starts usually around 6 pm to 12 am meanwhile mine is 8.30 am to 5 pm. Sometimes he can switched schedule with his coworkers who works at 12 pm to 6 pm. Both of us work from Monday to Saturday. He got same schedule from Monday to Saturday unless he switched with his coworker. Meanwhile mine are the same for Monday to Friday, on Saturday it's 8.30 am to 2 pm. I just started my work last Thursday (27th August) and since then he switched schedule with his friends twice on Thursday and Friday. We could spend our time together on call while watching series on those 2 days.Then on Saturday he was on his normal work hour, so his time is empty until 6 pm. But he got to go out with his family, so when the time I'm done with my job, he is out and can't call. We just have a short call before he got to work (30 mins approx).

On Sunday he already got plan with his friends and my dad happened to visit me suddenly (I live alone and different city from my family). So we don't really have time to call, only at the night when we got home after all those things. We had a little argument that night and we talked about it already before heading to sleep. But I usually still feel heavy heart eventho the argument has solved, and I feel better when talking to him the next day. (Maybe bcs usually arguments came when we about to sleep and finish it right before we sleep and the feelings still linger in me, but I'll slowly feel better when tomorrow talk to him normally not in argument moments). But on the next day (monday) he is in his normal shift, so we didn't call at all (I usually wait until his shift ends which is midnight so we talk after his shift, but since I have to wake up early for my job I couldn't do it anymore).

Today he switched shift again with his coworker and it made me happy bcs I finally can talk with him again. Then he let me know he wanna have a dinner with his friends and he doesn't know until what time. (That's mean after my job is done I had to wait for him until he finish going out with his friends). I don't know why I feel upset by that?

I know he can have his own time too, I mean not evwn for me, he can't really spend time with friends/fam bcs his work hours that are night (if his friends and fam are working normally, they only have time at night which when he work). I get it and it's nice he could go out with his friends. But idk why I feel upset over it? Like, somehow sad but not to the point I'm being sulky and not allowing him to go. Is my feelings valid or I'm just being too selfish? What should I do in this situation? I don't really understand myself sometimes.

Edit: Also we only talk via text if we don't call. But we don't text much as well since he tend to be slow respond. I found that since I got to work, he didn't update me as much. (Like when he was going out with family, he didn't tell me until after he wanna eat we always send pictures of food whenever we eat and that's mostly when he answer my text, not always but most of the time he was slow respond and only show up when sending pictures and go back slowrespond and for meeting his friends today too, he didn't update me despite having time before working aka 12 pm, only update me just now). I've talk about this (specifically bcs he slowrespond and update me rarely, I always say I don't mind him being slowrespond I just need update like "I'm gaming rn, will finish around x hours, i'll text you by then" and he said it isn't easy for him bcs his mind tends to focus on 1 thing and forget others (he got ADHD and I'm not so I kinda hard to relate to his mind))

Thank you for reading and giving respond! (Feel free to ask if it's confusing or I missed some details...)

Images included for context (Identifying info has also been scratched out.) I’ve been selling items on facebook marketplace which my number IS registered with, but my settings are set to keep my number private. Am I overreacting about these texts reaching my number about multiple listings? I’ve reverse searched the number to see if it’s listed on any apps, but no dice.

The part that makes me uneasy is that they state that they were led to message me by the platform, but no link from the listing is included or anything suggesting it’s from the app— it’s just a screenshot of my listing!! It feels very weird since I’ve sold a few things and never had someone contact me this way.

My girlfriend thinks I don’t care that she wants to move in.

So let me paint the picture here. I recently got myself a place after living in an uncomfortable place with a parent. My girlfriend is on the fence of moving in with me. She’s expressed that she wants to move in, which I’m hella down for.

Last night after helping me move some stuff into the house she starts getting stressed out and crying saying she’s spending too much money on her car insurance and says she’s doesn’t have money for herself. This is after asking her to send me some money for this fast food that I got us.

I’ve been getting the food and dinner recently. We also just had an anniversary and I spent a good amount. I also just spent couple thousand on this new place for the deposit and first months rent, + helping my dad pay the rent for his place(not gonna get into that rn).

Anyways she says she might not see me for a while cuz she has to save money for gas and insurance. Sure, I get it. It kinda hurt but I understand. Then she texts me while I’m at work saying “I’m gonna move in!”. I respond “ayyyeeee”, “I love youu”, “Don’t feel pressured though my love”.

Later that day she tells me she’s been feeling sick. She left work early to go home and rest. I try to call no answer, no answer. My first thought is she’s sick sleeping.

I get off work and head to Home Depot to get packing materials. I get call from her. She sounds sick tells me shes doing better. I say great love. I then proceed to tell her that I’m packing. She asks can she help. Me trying to be understanding I’m like “it’s alright my love, you should rest I know you’re sick and you need to save gas money. I then tell her I’m driving and if I could call her later.

She calls me sad saying I shut her down. She says that I’m not excited for her to move in. She tells me that I didn’t express my excitement for her to move in. I tell her I forgot in that moment. My said “I’m sorry I was just in go mode trying to move”. I reassure her that I want her to live with me. We then just get more into it and start spiraling. I said this you said that. She ends up hurt saying I don’t care about her. I’m frustrated trying to prove that I do.

Am I over reacting. Yes I did forget in that moment to express my happiness. Am I in the wrong. I’m just confused tbh.

Edit:

I’m a 24m she’s a 24f. She does help with food occasionally and helps with household items. She said she would pay half the rent (800$). Currently she’s living at her parent’s house rent free. She does have job. I do make more.

At some point we had 3 cats who lived together.

Our first cat to go was a miniature cat, who came up to us scared when she was a kitten. After about 3 years, she started throwing up due to anxiety, she was the definition of a scaredy cat. My mom would hit her with a belt every time she threw up and eventually drove her somewhere left her and didn’t tell me or my sister where.

Our second cat we rescued from the rain when she was a kitten. We raised her for 6 years, I had to live elsewhere, but where I lived I couldn’t have pets so my mom had to care for her. After a year when I saw the cat again she was very matted and when I said I couldn’t take her, she made me pay to have her put down or she would take my car so I had to pay.. she was second to go.

The 3rd cat is current, he is also about 6 years old and he started throwing up recently, I think due to only eating hard food for most of his life which I stated. She is tired of it so she made him an outside cat and she does not allow him in. He has never experienced being outside. She is hoping nature will take care of him so she won’t have to deal with him any longer. It is my little sister’s favorite cat who she has to watch him stay at our door outside and not be able to have him in her bed like she used to. She has to listen otherwise our mom would hit her. I live in a different town now so not much I can do.

I believe all the cats have experienced getting hit with a belt at some point as well.

But I am not sure if i’m overreacting for not having any feelings at all for her or caring about her wellbeing anymore due to her just being a careless person in general and in several ways throughout my whole life. But the animals is the final straw..

I recently started a teacher assistant job at a small preschool. I was really excited about it, and I genuinely loved working with the kids. I still feel kinda guilty about leaving them, and I miss them.

The problem was my lead teacher.

Every day I went in knowing with 100% certainty I was going to make a mistake and my teacher was going to try and be patient with me until she decided she could no longer work with me anymore.

It felt like she expected all the kids to behave all the time. 

The confusing part is that she could be genuinely wonderful at times. Some days were great. She could be kind, encouraging, funny, and a really good teacher. A good day was when she was mostly nice and only a little condescending once or twice.

A bad day was when the entire classroom environment became scary enough that I wanted to quit, and that fear would linger into the next day even if she was nice again.
I went to HR multiple times, the principal twice. I didn’t know what to do anymore because while they kept repeating they were taking my words seriously, they didn’t do anything that I could see, except have chats with my teacher about her tone. They were giving a lot more grace to her than my teacher was giving to me or the kids she was responsible for.

During my first week, before the students started:

She spent several days telling me I was doing well and then pulled me aside after shutting our classroom door to tell me that nothing was done to her standards.

Some of the things she said included:

“Tell me what you’re good at because clearly none of the work I’ve given you.”

“HR told me you’re a newbie and to train you but I don’t know if I can.”

“I’m trying to be honest with you here. I’m trying not to cry. I feel like I’m doing everything alone here.”

“I’ve only given you easy tasks so far but nothing has gotten done.”

I was unable to respond at the time because I was blindsided and I don't handle sudden emotional confrontations well.

The first day of school:

There were multiple instances where she told me, in front of students and in loud tones, that she didn't want certain children in her classroom or that she would talk to the principal because the kids' behavior was unacceptable, mainly because they were crying.

One child was crying because the teacher had raised her voice at another student. Another child also became upset. My teacher kept being mean to them, saying “stop crying!” which obviously didn’t help.

During a drill, she physically positioned one of the crying children in a way that made the child cry more. The kid then urinated themself, as not all of the children are potty trained, and my teacher was loudly discussing having to call another staff member and repeatedly said she couldn't have this kid in her classroom.

This kid eventually withdrew from our class because her mother said the kid had developed some kind of fear about school she couldn’t understand.

There were also things I witnessed involving other students:

• She called one child (a non-english speaker, who is just now learning english with us) a “very very bad girl” multiple times, loudly, for not putting her feet on the floor while sitting in a chair. She also loudly said in front of the kids multiple times, “Something is wrong with her. She has something, I just know it. She needs to go get tested.” She's often loud and rude to this kid (“Oh look, she’s going to throw another tantrum,” or once asking another kid who sat beside this child, “Are you really sure you want to sit THERE?” In a negative tone). This child does not listen to directions well-- not out of spite, but because the child's mind seems to wander a lot and makes it hard for her to focus on us. 
• My teacher repeatedly told me, “I feel like I’m doing everything around here.” I was trying. I didn't just stand around when I saw there were things to do. I never sat down with nothing to do except during my break.
• She told me multiple times, “I'm trying to be patient with you,” or would take a long breath and exhale with her eyes closed when I made a mistake, like she was trying to find it in herself to handle the situation.
• She repeatedly talked about not wanting one of the students back in her classroom, saying things like, “She's the one who kept on crying, remember?” and “I hope she doesn't come back, imagine how she'll mess up the classroom.”
• One day, a child kept crying and she was VERY loud with him. Like, yelling at him in his face while wearing a mike. My teacher told me she couldn't deal with him anymore and couldn't have him in her classroom. I took him out and calmed him down. When I brought him back, she said, “No—take him anywhere but don't bring him back here. I don't want to see him.” She was very loud with him, asking him, “Are you going to cry?” repeatedly until he started crying again. She said loudly enough for the children to hear, “I can't wait until he's done with this class,” after he had an accident in the bathroom.
• She repeatedly told students “I don't care!” loudly enough that they started repeating it to each other.
• She asked students multiple times, “What is wrong with you?” when they didn't immediately listen.

I had already asked HR whether I could be moved to another classroom, but they said that if it didn't work out with her, they weren't sure where they could put me.

So I quit.

Sometimes the kids would look at me like they wanted me to do something, and I couldn't. I could only step in where I could, or be extra nice to students after they got yelled at by her. I could handle everything else about the job, but I didn't want to feel like a bad person or pretend I was alright with how my teacher talked to the kids. After school everyday, I felt dis-regulated and off, because I was around someone who was just so high-strung all day. My teacher always felt like she was teetering on some edge, like one bad moment from snapping.
------------

AIO for quitting?

Me (27f) and him (33m) have been together for just over a year, we are very different people, im far more sensitive than him because he’s seen a lot of things working with saving people’s lifes and stuff. But i think im noticing the longer we’re together the more understanding we have for each other’s way of coping with things.

Nevertheless there are moments where i dont understand why i react a certain way.
Because first of all, he is suuuch a gentleman, he cares for me and loves me and i feel the same about him, he is very romantic, our values align, it’s the best relationship i’ve ever had. Im usually very happy and he is as well.

But then sometimes something happens that in retrospect is not a big deal but it hurts me so deeply.

For example- we were abroad, there were musicians on the street, its was a late evening and i wanted to be spontaneous and dance in the middle of the cathedral but he felt sort of uncomfortable and said he doesnt remember any steps and why do we have to dance in the middle and so i said we dont have too its fine, and i got very sad about it, then he tried to dance me up but the mood was not there anymore so i said lets just go somewhere else and then we got to talking and he raised a question of if he even makes me happy because he cannot be as spontaneous as i would like him to be. I said that he does make me happy, only sometimes not but isnt that normal?
We kind of talked it out, the evening ended up being very nice, but the question of compatibility was still lingering and we both just said we dont know.

I know it sounds kind of dramatic but keep in mind this is just one story, its always something like this when we’re doing something nice. I dont want to be too specific (even tho that was very specific) but sometimes its something he says thats saddens me because i expected a deeper answer, sometimes its the way im usually the one coming onto him when we’re being intimate, even tho he takes control later on- sometimes i wish he would be dominant in the beginning.

And its all these sort of silly expectations from me. Silly in the sense that it would be silly to drop this relationship for these reasons.

So i question myself: is he almost perfect and because i feel the ‘almost’ i wish he would be 100% perfect?

Do i subconsciously search for reasons to get upset?

Am i just older now and evaluate relationships differently than before? Because when i think of my past ones- in ways they sucked reaaally bad but i dont remember getting sad so often about them. But maybe now that i consider spending the rest of my life with this person i look into things too deeply?
Some might even think that i can and should ask for more but i don’t think thats right. This person goes over the mountains to be a good partner to me and be a good person in general and relationships are about compromise.

I can see how tiring this is for him, because whenever a situation arises i usually cry a little, get very sad, it takes a while to shake it off.
I really value him and wish for this relationship to work out, any advice or observations are welcomed
And dear God I hope he’s not reading this:D

My birthday will be coming in less than a month, and this specific birthday is a big milestone, so I expected my parents would put at least a little bit of effort this time, but it doesn't seem to be the case.

For context, last year, around the time of my birthday my dad was away because he was abroad for a couple of months to find a place to rent since my parents wanted to move, which means that he wasn't there for my birthday last year, but that's not exactly the problem, since he didn't really have a choice back then.

The issue is that last year when I woke up on the day of birthday I went on with my normal morning routine (during which my mother was already) since it was a school day, and through the whole process she never acknowledged me or wished me a happy birthday, she just sent me a text later on while I was at school saying how she forgot because in the morning her head isn't clear or whatnot. Same thing for my dad, he didn't text me until late afternoon.

This year, apparently my dad had some business to deal with abroad (AGAIN), only that this time he could've decided to go a couple of days later to get present In my birthday for this year at least. But when I suggested that he said "why would I post-pone it and stay abroad one more weekend to catch the flight back when I can just do it earlier?", Which means that this year he won't be there again, only that this time he had a choice.

Then there's my mother. Apparently her and my dad decided that for my birthday they'll pay for my drivers licence. Now, I don't want to sound ungrateful, but I would've prefered if for a birthday this important they bought me something I WANT and not something I NEED, especially since I overhead my mother talking to my sister saying that the only thing that she'll do is buy me one of those 15€ corner store cakes and nothing else for the actual day.

Am I just being ungrateful like they keep saying? I feel like I'm going insane

I can’t tell if I’m just being oversensitive or if this is an actual issue, but whenever I suggest any change to my appearance (hair colour, piercings) my boyfriend really shits on it. One time I pranked him that I went blonde (which I’m planning to do anyway - now brunette) and he genuinely got MAD. I’ve brought this issue up to him before but he says he’s just being honest and doesn’t want to lie to me and just be the yes man, but I wouldn’t have thought that you would have to lie to be supportive of your girlfriend. Anything he suggests about himself of the same nature I am super supportive and it’s genuine too.

Is it good that he’s being honest and I’m just overreacting, or is this an issue?

Me and my wife send a gratulation for birthday to my best friend wife through her whatapp and get a respond from best friend wife was:

Bestfriend wife: Thank you. Oh, it’s so lovely of you to have remembered. I know it was *you*—I’m using the plural out of politeness.

We: What? I don’t understand.

Bestfriend wife: I mean that *you* remembered, not John—even though you’re both sending congratulations. I’m just writing in the plural, but I know how it is.

We were completely amazed that someone could reply to a birthday greeting like that.

My best friend has completely changed since he married his wife, and you can see she’s having a totally negative influence on him. And here’s just one example... what do you think?

Texted my fam and she seemed to be extremely dry normally she’s a lot more animated with texts like emojis exclamation marks etc
I don’t know if I’m being overly sensitive ! But it definitely seems out of character for her send a dry response

Context: I am 19 (genderqueer) and he is 25M. We are currently roommates at trade school and we are going to college together, but due to extenuating circumstances we are being forced to find a place to live of our own, so we plan to get an apartment together.

The past few weeks, I've been under a whole lot of stress, since I've been booted from the college program since I'm being charged out-of-state tuition unfairly and having to pay tuition and books myself without an income, being told I have a matter of days to find somewhere to live, and trying to get a high-enough paying job to qualify for an apartment. I have the credentials, but employment even under rush takes time, and I just don't have that.

As it is, I am taking out a student loan to pay for first/last month's rent, application fees, security deposits, furnishing my own room (since I have nothing myself), and my income will be listed alone in order to qualify for the 2bed 2bath apartment.

I have multiple disabilities, which lead to my discharge from the military with no benefits, to include hyper mobility and narcolepsy/chronic fatigue, so I can only do so much at a time before pretty much passing out and waking up in severe pain.

I have been *furiously* applying for jobs, emailing staffing agencies, calling potential employers, and working with my college to get student loans situated, to little prevail. This has taken a severe toll on my physical and mental health, as it would for any normal person, but, to put it lightly, I have 2 therapists and am on 3 grams of anti-anxiety and anti-depressant medication, so it's been hitting me pretty hard.

Most conversations where we have even slightly differring opinions end with him holding a minor issue over my head and personally insulting me many times, and when met with backlash, he continues to raise his voice until I am having to get loud, and then when I eventually get quite upset he continues to turn it all on me and shift blame until I leave or end the conversation.

This has been over things as minor as me offering alternatives to starting smoking again, as he has expressed he wants to, and offering to work on assignments together since we share all of our classes.

This past week I've fallen behind on classwork, I have a couple assignments that are a day or two late, and I've contacted my professors and explained my ordeal I am currently going through. He has late assignments in the double digits already, is turning current ones in with minutes to spare from midnight, and has applied for no jobs or loans, nor has he made any attempt to help me do so.

I want to make it very clear: all of these things I am going through with housing and college funding DO NOT AFFECT HIM. His federal aid completely covered his, he can gladly continue living on trade school campus, he is getting a financial aid refund, even. He wants to leave the campus because he doesn't like the rules and regulations of our current living situation, which is understandable, as they have confiscated my wheelchair and continue to hold my meds from me.

After I woke up from a sleep attack at about 10pm, he was watching YouTube on his computer and scrolling IFunny on his phone and not working on anything. I took a shower, which took me roughly an hour. When I came out of the shower, I asked him to start applying for jobs, since he hadn't been. His immediate response, without hesitation, was to flip me off, tell me to go fuck myself, and that I should go work on my homework.

I kept my cool and told him that having another source of income would make my life a lot easier, trying to land our apartment, find a job, and deal with financial aid was weighing on me and I needed him to participate in all of this. He continued to respond with exclusively one-liners about how I was gonna fail if I didn't go do my homework and I should've done my homework instead of sleeping and I needed to go work on this or that and how he doesn't care and I should go work on my homework.

After 15 minutes of this, I got fed up and told him that I wasn't going to continue planning on pretty much paying for him to live. He has parents that love him and are floating him cash, furnishing his half of the apartment, all of that, and I am doing it on my own with nothing. A few late assignments and a 40$/hr, full time job with a place to myself is a hell of a lot better than a bunch of late assignments and being a fat chud relying on others at all times.

He continued to be nothing but argumentative, claiming I had no need to personally insult him (denying that he had already done it to me multiple times), that I needed to "hop off his dick" and stop choking on my own, and continued the shitty one liners about me doing my school work.

I got fed up enough to raise my voice and use the word fuck, which was apparently unacceptable for him, so I walked over to his desk, took all of the hardware of mine he was using that he needed for his computer to work, and told him that if he wants to leech off of someone, he could find someone else to do it with, instead of me, and I would be keeping my things.

I'm really considering getting my own one-bedroom one-bath and living by myself. I can't deal with this much conflict on top of my own personal stressors and issues for the years we are in college together. AIO?

Edit: tl;dr since people seem confused on details:

I alone am paying both of our rent and utilities. His financial aid is only covering college materials. He does not have money to himself except for a bit here and there from his parents. He is essentially leeching off of me. Lots of large arguments over his lack of effort to change this ended with me taking my own belongings he was using back and telling him to take responsibility and help

Hey everyone, so a bit of background context:

I’m a 30yr old woman in a relationship with a 30yr old man. When i was younger (child/teen), a lot of trauma happened, a lot of creepy old men etc etc, I’m not going to go into detail on here but i just feel a certain way about creepy old men, always will. It boils my blood.

My bf has a brother who’s 45. He has been struggling to find the “right one” for ages now and tbh after yesterday, I kinda know why.

There’s a house opposite ours that has a lot of young teenage girls coming in and out constantly. They all look around anywhere between 15-20 ish.
My bf’s brother was out in the front garden yesterday and he was talking to me through the window. Next minute, a young girl who (IMO) didn’t look older than about 18, walked down the road and went into the house opposite. My bf’s brother noticed her and then ran up to the house and popped something through the door. I didn’t think anything of it and just carried on with my day.
When my bf walked in the room, he noticed his brother running back from the house with a smile on his face. My bf’s instantly got up and smiled and asked him what he was doing over at that house and his brother replied back saying “Just popped my number through the door. Saw a really really hot girl who was about 20” and my bf laughed and walked away.

I had a certain look on my face and my bf asked me what was wrong. I tried explaining to him that i found the entire thing creepy, considering his brother is old enough to be this girl’s dad. I was clearly “triggered” a little bit by this and my bf knows about my past. He seemed to think what his brother did was okay and this bothered me.

I know it’s all legal, and nothing “illegal” is happening. But i just can’t help but feel his brother has gone down majorly in my opinion of him. This sucks because i wanted to start a whole art stall with him and i’m just feeling a bit ergh about it.

AIO?

So, we have a long history of “bothering” each other with my downstairs neighbour, and because I am very anxious and non-confrontational, I admit it took me too long to talk to her about it.
It all started last summer, when it was the third week in a row that they started talking very loudly. They always started after midnight, and at 6 a.m. they were still going strong. On that particular night, it was my third night not sleeping properly, and at 4 a.m. they started to sing, so I took the broom and knocked really hard on the floor (it’s kind of a way to signal to your neighbour here). That made them shut up for the night.
But after a few months, she started knocking on her ceiling, but I was so confused because it wasn’t always immediately after something I did. For example, it would happen when I got up from bed, or when I opened a drawer or a door. It got to the point where I was very anxious about moving around in my home after 10 p.m. (the silence curfew), but I was genuinely trying to be very quiet and opened and closed everything carefully.
So I left her a note saying I wasn’t sure if she was the one knocking and if it was meant for me, but I reassured her that I tried to be very quiet and wasn’t doing any loud activities at night.
Then, after a few weeks, a strongly worded response came that she had been patient with me, but if I didn’t stop doing housework after 10 p.m., she would be required to take steps.
I finally gathered the courage to directly reach out to her, as I was genuinely confused about what she was hearing. Turns out the noise that she had confused with me doing housework was my cat (3 kg) jumping off the furniture. My cat sleeps when I sleep, but as I am a night owl, she was often awake with me after the “curfew”.
So we exchanged contacts and told each other that we could message whenever one of us was bothering the other, and she offered me the same.
But she has this habit of talking way too loudly, like she gets too carried away on the phone, and she always has guests over after 10 p.m. They get so carried away, and usually always on weeknights. I messaged her a few times asking her to be quieter. She always asked me if it was alright like this, then when I confirmed it was, there was quiet for a few minutes. Afterwards, they started to get loud again and kept talking until 4–5 a.m.
Once, I was really passive-aggressive and told her I hoped this wouldn’t go on until 4 a.m., and that was the only time they went quiet for the whole night.
She has been gone for the summer, and today she came back. But we are having major layoffs at my company, so I am already really anxious, and it’s more important than ever for me to get a good night’s sleep.
And the thing is, when they talk normally, I don’t hear every word, only distant murmuring. But they get so carried away and get louder, you know, borderline shouting, like when you are in good company, and I can hear every single word.
AITA, or is it reasonable to expect them to moderate themselves and have in mind that it’s a weeknight and it’s night, and they should try to talk normally, not so carelessly?
Would I be overreacting if I reached out to her again more firmly, saying that from now onwards, now that she is back, I won’t be able to tolerate it, and she should moderate her guests and not expect me to text her if it bothers me?
Because I think this is not a simple case of the walls being too thin. They are too loud for the night.

I need an outside opinion, because this is the first time this has happened to me in my life and i don't know how react for this. I am a F(40 yo), my partner a M(40 yo). We met 3 years ago and living together for 2.5 years. We have 7 months old baby, and i also have a child from my first marriage (10 yo), he loves him and raises him as his own son. Our characters are similar - he explodes easily, but quickly calms down, I am also impulsive, but if there is a quarrel, I need more time to cool down. Despite our two hot-tempered characters, we have a fairly peaceful relationship, after quarrels we discuss everything, apologize if necessary, seek a compromise, because we understand our shortcomings. Every day we have a lot of laughter, jokes, dances, games... And over these years we have had only 2 big scandals, and what I will describe below is the third. English is not my native language, I have been living in this country for 4.5 years, and I came as a refugee because there is a war in my country. I will note right away that finding a relationship and staying in this country was not my goal, because I have everything I need for a good life in my country, it is just extremely dangerous there, and here I really fell in love and in fact he and now our child are all that keep me here.

So, he often makes me notice that I look at my phone when we have time together. I don't think so, because if I need to do something on my phone, I do it (reply to a message, look up a product, make notes, add to calendar something, translate a word I don't know) because later I will simply forget to do it. It doesn't look like 1 hour together, I spend 40 minutes on my phone, more like a quick glance, reply to a message, maybe longer if I have to choose what to buy. Because with two children, everything flies out of my head very quickly. In addition, I try to stay in touch with friends who stayed in my home country. And my morning ritual is coffee, news and if there was shelling, then a messages to my friends whether everyone is alive. He is also constantly on his phone, playing mini-gsmes, although not when he is next to me.

Two days ago we were going to visit friends. I was cleaning the kitchen, while chatting on messenger with friends we were going to about plans, food, bbq, etc. When it was time to feed the baby, we had a conversation:

Me - can you feed the baby because I haven't finished cleaning the kitchen yet.

He - you didn't clean the kitchen because you were staring at your phone too much?

Me - don't make such remarks to me, because I will remind you about staring at your phone.

He - what are you talking about?

Me - yesterday when you were putting the baby to bed, she fell out of bed while you were playing games on your phone. So which one of us is staring at the phone? In 7 months she fell out of bed 3 times, and all of those times were with you.

Then he just exploded and started screaming at me like crazy: "Fu..k you, fu..k, you fu..ing cu..t, fu...ing tw..t, fu..k you...Why did you say that, you know I'm blaming myself for the fact that she fell. My little girl fell, I'll never forgive myself for this....When she fell, you took her from me and didn't give her back, as if she needed to be protected from me...You said that specifically to hurt me..." and so on. He broke down and screamed this while sitting in front of the child, he scared her and she started crying. Then he came up to me and screamed this in my face, until saliva was flying, he hit the wall, his eyes were bloodshot, he seemed possessed.

I note I don't blame him her fell. First time was after the birth, we both were exhausted and she was sleeping on his chest and rolled over. The second time was about 10 days ago when he didn't put the blanket around the bed to make a nest and went to talk on the phone and the third time was two days ago. Every time she fell on the carpet and apparently nothing happened to her, her behavior did not change, she ate and slept as usual. I understand that this can happen to anyone, and it happens a lot with children. I wasn't going to judge or blame him, but it looked hypocritical he was making a remark to me, but it was his staring at his phone that made her fall out of bed.

About 10 minutes later he came over and tried to apologize. But an apology in the style of "forgive me, but you..." and then shifting the responsibility for what happened to me. I don't consider that an apology. AIO? I was shocked by his reaction, no one has ever treated me like this in my life. Can a person insult and humiliate their loved one with the most disgusting words? Did I really say such a terrible thing to him and his reaction was appropriate? I'm overreacting that i don't want to accept his apologies?

AIO my (F33) Fiancé (M34) has booked us a honeymoon / babymoon to somewhere he's always wanted to visit, and to some extent, so have I. The trip is in a few months and he has just told me that where we're going is actually where his ex fiancée now lives with her new bf, not only that but she is picking us up from the airport and she is staying in the same resort as us while we're there (not the same hotel) so we can meet up with her and she can show us around etc. AIO for saying that's not right and it should be just us two on our honeymoon, not his ex playing 3rd wheel? I'm seriously re-thinking even marrying him at this point. Are my feelings valid or am I blowing this out of proportion?

For context he has lied about her in the past, I have known about her since we got together 6 years ago but he first said she was just an old friend before I found out about a year ago they were actually engaged.

Also I am not yet pregnant (thankfully) but we had planned to start trying on the honeymoon and it will be our last big vacation before we have a family which is why I called it a babymoon too.

My boyfriend (30M) and I (27F) recently broke up after about a year together, and even though I was the one who ended it, I’m struggling with whether I overreacted.
I love him very much, and there were a lot of genuinely good parts of our relationship. I was at the point where I was seriously thinking about marriage and whether this was the person I wanted to build my life with. Early last week, he even mentioned going ring shopping.
The biggest problem throughout our relationship was his trust issues. He’s been cheated on in previous relationships, and I’ve always tried to understand where his fears come from. But over time, I started feeling like I was paying for things other women had done to him.
Over time, completely normal things started becoming reasons for suspicion.
If we weren’t spending the night together, he would sometimes randomly FaceTime me late at night. It wasn’t a normal “hey, what are you doing?” call. There would often be this suspicious, slightly angry tone that made me feel like I was being checked on or almost scolded. I would usually answer immediately, but eventually those calls started giving me anxiety because I felt like I had to demonstrate: See? I’m home. I’m alone. I’m where I said I was.
If I happened to scroll Instagram before texting him, he could get upset that I was active but hadn’t messaged him yet. If I wasn’t responding much during the workday for a few hours, his mind could go to the possibility that I had someone at my apartment. Meanwhile, I work in corporate. I’m in meetings. Sometimes I don’t text for three hours because I have a job.
Another time, I was out with friends and didn’t answer his text for a few hours. Once I responded, he FaceTimed me from the club. I immediately answered and showed him where I was. I got home about an hour later, and because one friend wasn’t in the Uber with me, he questioned whether I had secretly stopped at another man’s apartment between the time we FaceTimed and the time I got home.
One night he became desperate and frantic to go through my phone and at one point said, “Fine, let’s break up, but show me your phone.”
I initially refused because I didn’t want to establish a relationship where I was guilty until I proved my innocence. I eventually gave him my phone and obviously, he found nothing.
We also shared locations, and I started becoming hyperaware of things I never used to think about: how quickly I answered, whether I’d been active on Instagram, whether my location was displaying correctly, how long it had been since I’d texted him.
Beyond the anxiety, it honestly hurt and offended me. I was telling this person that I loved him, wanted something serious, and wanted a family and marriage. Meanwhile, I felt like I was repeatedly being treated as though I might secretly be living another life behind his back.
I didn’t want that to become my normal.
About two weeks before our breakup, I went to Hawaii with two friends and one of their moms. It was an incredibly wholesome trip. We were waking up around 6 AM and usually in bed by 11. But if I put my phone away for even an hour to enjoy myself, he’d question why I wasn’t responding, what we were doing, or whether we were meeting people at the resort. He’d repeatedly FaceTime and ask who was around me or why I hadn’t answered immediately.
The last night of the trip, he was FaceTiming me again to see what I was doing and I had enough. I was so frustrated that I finally answered almost specifically to show him how ridiculous the suspicion was. There I was, exactly where I’d said I was, sitting with my two friends and one of their moms and made him say hi to him.
He actually seemed embarrassed once he saw everyone and apologized to me saying “I don’t know why I think this way.”
When I got home, I had a conversation with him. I told him what happened while I was in Hawaii couldn’t happen again. I shouldn’t have to spend a spa-like vacation constantly reassuring my boyfriend that I’m not secretly cheating on him.
I told him clearly: if this happened again, I couldn’t continue the relationship.
About a week later, it happened again.
I had been sick for two days. He spent the first night with me but couldn’t spend the second night. The next day he came over, and instead of believing I was actually sick, he became suspicious that I was lying and that someone had come over the night he was gone because I hadn’t been answering for long periods of time.
It escalated to him going through my trash looking for evidence.
Something in me just broke.
It wasn’t only the trash (even thought I thought it was kinda crazy)- I had literally just told him after Hawaii that I couldn’t keep living like this, and within about a week we were right back in the same place, except it had escalated further.
I started thinking beyond the immediate argument.
I’m ready for marriage and a serious life partnership. How am I supposed to make huge, life-altering decisions with someone who, after a year together, can still become convinced I’m cheating because I was sick for two days?
So I broke up with him in person.
He was devastated. He begged me to give him another chance and promised he would change. He was extremely upset that I wouldn’t give him “another chance,” but I’ve communicated multiple times how terrible this made me feel, how much anxiety it caused me, and how much I just wanted trust. Plus, I had explicitly warned him after Hawaii that I couldn’t do this again.
That’s why I’m struggling now.
I don’t think he’s a bad person. I understand where a lot of this comes from. I think he’s terrified of being cheated on and of not being enough. I still love him, and I miss him terribly.
Part of me wonders whether I should have stayed and given him the opportunity to actually work through it, especially because he was begging me not to leave and promising that this time would be different.
But another part of me thinks I would have been hurting myself while waiting and hoping he’d eventually become capable of trusting me. I don’t want to marry someone based on who I hope they’ll eventually become.
After the breakup four days ago, I sent him a long message telling him I love him, that I wished I could stay, but that I couldn’t keep doing this and hoped he would heal.
He didn’t respond for two days. Then his only message was that he wished I’d been there to see him play pool at a bar we used to go to together. He didn’t acknowledge the breakup or anything I’d said. I don’t really know what to make of that.
I’m heartbroken. I miss him enough that I keep questioning a decision I felt very sure about when I made it.
AIO for ending the relationship after the final incident instead of giving him another chance to change, even though I still love him and he was asking me to stay?

So me (20F) and my roommate (21F) have been living together for just about 10 months. When we moved in we had an agreement to buy everything together and split the cost so when we move out whoever takes what will pay the other person their half. For example if the microwave was $20 we both put $10 initially and if i were to take the microwave when i move out i’d give her $10 back.

A few months into living together our washer broke. My boyfriend’s parents gave it to me along with a dryer for free. Her dad agreed to buy us a new one. It was $500, he paid $300 and my roommate and i both agreed to pay $100 each on the condition that she would get to keep the washer when we moved out. Flash forward to about a month ago she gets back from a trip with her boyfriend and mentions that they discussed moving in together when our lease ends. I was okay with it because I just got a new, better paying job and could afford to move out on my own in October when our lease ends. She also wasn’t always the greatest roommate (not doing household chores and leaving trash and other belongings in the common areas). We decided to have a conversation about who is keeping what and the washer comes up. She said since her dad bought it I wouldn’t get my money back and we kind of just moved past it. I told her she could keep the dryer though because my future apartment already comes with a washer and dryer.

When I had the chance to think about it a little more I realized that wasn’t fair. So i brought it up again and she told me “no, that’s not what we agreed to”. I told her she never told me that the washer was the exception to our initial agreement about splitting shared household items. We argued about it a bit more and it got kind of heated. I said it was only fair and the right thing to do since i was going to let her keep the dryer but since she won’t give me my money i’m going to take it and she’s going to have to buy another one for $100+ anyway. I walked away but I was still not happy with the conclusion. The dryer is probably only worth like $30 if that. It’s really old and kind of makes a weird knocking noise when it’s on. The next day I send her a text saying I don’t want to fight any longer and that I never agreed to her thing. I mentioned how $100 would really help with my move out costs and since it was her idea to move out it was only fair.

For context, her dad owns a fairly successful bar. She’s in school and he pays for all of it. I don’t have that support from my parents. My mom died when I was 13 and i’ve been estranged from my dad since i was 17. She knows this about me and has been sympathetic the whole time. I lost my job earlier this year due to some mental health issues but I had money saved up and was interviewing every week. I eventually went back to my high school fast food job until I could find a better one. I always paid the bills on time and never asked her for help. I mention this because we got into a VERY heated argument about the dryer and she insulted and disrespected me on a very personal level. Basically she tried to tell me she remembers me agreeing to these special circumstances regarding the washer. It’s not in our text messages and I don’t recall ever hearing about this. She told me that’s what her and her dad agreed to but didn’t show me proof. I asked to speak with her dad and he said he doesn’t want to talk to me. I felt like this was really unfair and super shady so I was understandably getting frustrated with her. I raised my voice slightly (was not yelling or aggressive) and demanded that they give me my money. She started saying “calm down” and “you’re really freaking me out right now” in a really mousy voice and I proceeded to tell her I am calm i’m just frustrated. I just couldn’t understand how this made any sense at all. She went into her room and started loudly crying and I called her a child for not having a conversation with me like an adult and then went into my room. Not even 2 minutes later she barged into my room and started screaming at me. She said things like “don’t call me a child when you’re literally younger than me” and “you’re the one who didn’t have a job for two months you’re the child” and just straight up insulting me calling me lazy and such. I yelled back and said things like “i’m not the one who sits around all day and doesn’t clean up after herself” “i hate living with you you’re disgusting” and a lot of other stuff like that lol. It baffled me that she would say all of that stuff about me being lazy when even when I was living off my savings I fronted the bills when she hadn’t gotten paid yet (she makes more an hour than I ever had btw).

I sent her a text calling her and her dad entitled and selfish and told her to just keep the money. I told her that she showed me exactly how she sees me and what kind of person she is. I mentioned how she buys toys online and door dashes food three times a week and has the audacity to call me a child. I said she should be embarrassed that someone younger then her is more responsible and independent than her. She replied and was being super nice and apologetic. I told her I’m not going to forgive her for what she said because i’ve worked so hard for what I have just for her to say all that stuff about me. I told her we’re no longer friends we’re just roommates for the next couple of months.

She came up to me last night and told me I can just sell the couch and keep all the money even though we split it initially and I just said “sure”. There was some drama a while ago where one of her old friends called her a narcissist and I just thought it was some petty insult but I’m beginning to think that they were right. So am i overreacting?