Be good - get no love - feel like a schmuck.

Be bad - get no love - Hell yeah ! NOW i am getting what I deserve.

How do I break free from this ass backwards way of thinking and still find love ?

Hi everyone, I"m 18F and have a boyfriend of 2 months 19M and he's upset that I went to my close guy friend 19M crying about some personal issues instead of him. Recently I've been going through a lot of things especially with this new transition into college.

This morning I was dealing with something really bad and had a nervous break down and I was unsure of who to go to. The first person that came to my mind was my close friend so I ended up sending him a voice message of me crying and he was quick to comfort me. I had thought about confiding in my boyfriend too but around this time he was asleep so I didn't want to bother him.

After my boyfriend woke up later I told him what happened and he was upset at me. He just got really quiet and refused to talk to me anymore ignoring my calls and messages.. :(

I have no idea what to do and I feel horrible. I want to confide in my friend again but im afraid that will only make things worse. I didn't know it was such a bad thing to confide in a male friend. But thats my wonder, is it like this for every guy/person? And what should I do to make amends with my boyfriend?

I was asked to resign a month ago from a job I loved. I had one direct report who was brilliant and very loyal to me (as I was him). The problem was that I could not get on with new management.

Anyway, I found a new, better paying job and was moving on with no hard feelings. That’s until my direct report told me some shocking news: my new manager was bad mouthing me to the rest of the team.

She said I was fudging the numbers, hiding my mistakes and presenting myself as more technical than I actually was. All of this was ridiculous and I was fuming so I did something that caused a stir. I told my ex-CFO that I had heard that my ex-manager had said the above and asked him whether he could ask her to stop. I told him I still care for the team and would like to work with some of them again someday. He replied asking who told me and that he will talk to them and take it from there. I said I’d rather not drag this person into it and would like for him to just deal with it as tactfully as he can.

Today my ex-manager pulled my ex-direct report into a meeting and told him that if anymore internal information becomes external she will make a formal complaint about him.

Nobody knows it was him and he didn’t actually know what they were talking about. I told him what I had done so he now has all the info. He’s going to keep his head down until I can settle into my new job and hopefully bring him over.

What was the rationale of my CFO to do this? Why would he take action against my ex-direct report instead of my ex-manager? They were apparently in a long meeting together beforehand so maybe he did reprimand her as well.

I don’t know. I really trusted my ex-CFO, I thought he was a good man. I’m so disappointed in him. And I’m disappointed at my bad lack of judgment and selfishness in the moment.

Please tell me there is a good chance she was also told off?

Basically I’m just sick and tired of my life as it is right now and I’m not putting up with it anymore I’ve been putting up with this for about 9 years now and I’m just sick of it.

I’m 20M never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, never even asked a girl out or been on a date. I have never had a big social life in school or college, and I’m about to start my 2nd year of uni and I’m not letting this carry on.

I see guys like hs tikkytokky and ed mathews and they literally have the dream lives, they manage to get girls so easily and just have so much natural confidence and I want to be like that. Not saying I wanna be exactly like them in every way, but I just wanna have their natural confidence and their confidence with girls.

Like would I rather be some sad, lonely, virgin loser or have more confidence, be able to get girls and in general have a better life. For most of my life I’ve just always been treated badly by girls when it comes to this so I’m gonna stop it and finally try something that works.

I’ve already followed the advice women and men give such as, going to the gym, having good hygiene, and being interesting as a person and having good humour and it didn’t work, so best bet I guess is to follow the way it actually works which is what these guys do.

People always say you have to be nice and respectful, but then you see these guys who show arrogance, confidence, and are basically rude and basically bellends who have the best lives and I’m just sick and tired of being nice and it getting me nowhere so I wanna change.

For context I have a friends with benefits relationship with a woman who’s 30 so that’s like 10 years older than me. When I spotted her initially I felt pretty attracted or at least I thought I was.

She had a nice light skin skin color and she didn’t look too bad, but then I found out too late that she was limping on one leg due to an accident she had several years ago. I mean that really wasn’t a dealbreaker but obviously it didn’t match the version of her I’d already romanticized in my head

Plus, other unappealing traits just started outing themselves as we saw and fucked each other more. Like how her voice had this hint of baritone in it, like how her shoulder and arms were a bit muscular due to the kind of work she does

Like how she can be mostly aggressive rather than soft with me, like how she preferred calling over texting almost everyday, like basically just even how she walks in general. Idk, it got to a point I just couldn’t stand her anymore. I’ll admit in the beginning i was curious because I wanted to experience an older woman and that’s why I approached her

But somehow for whatever reason that initial attraction has died down, and i feel almost nothing but sheer disgust for her, but I still keep fucking her and idk why. Probably because she’s the only woman I’ve ever been with that actually pays for the table and helps me out with cash sometimes too

Recently she’s noticed that anytime we fuck I can’t go past the initial round. Like as soon as I cum, that shit is laying down soft till we leave. I can’t get it up when I’m with her for some reason no matter how hard i try, compared to when we fucked for the first couple times and i’d go several rounds, so ofc she’d notice a difference

At first I thought it was the aftermath of all the late night wanking, but i said nahh, everyone wanks right? So obviously I tried different people, from girls from school to hookers, my libido always functioned normally. Hell, i’d keep going even after i’d cum, agile as ever

That’s when I realized I wasn’t the problem, it was just her. She didn’t exactly possess that “sex appeal” that would give me a good reason to stay hard. Not to say I’m repulsed by her, but her body really isn’t all that exciting to fuck. It’s just there really, hardly a replay value, if you know what i mean. Nothing to keep you coming back

So it’s clear I know my stance on this, I’m just putting this here to know if there’s any men (or women) who relate to this type of scenario

So, I’m 22 and I’ve been single pretty much my entire life, so I honestly have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to dating. I recently matched with this girl on Bumble, and she seems genuinely really fun and sweet. She’s from Japan and is new to Florida, and we somehow like a lot of the same nerdy stuff. Talking to her has felt surprisingly natural, and I actually look forward to our conversations. But there’s also a pretty big part of me that’s worried this could be a scam.

I know dating apps are full of fake profiles and people who specifically prey on lonely guys, and I’m painfully aware that I probably fit the profile of someone who could fall for something like that. I’ve never had a relationship before, I don’t have much experience recognizing red flags, and suddenly there’s this girl who’s attractive, sweet, shares my interests, and seems genuinely interested in talking to me. Part of my brain keeps going, “There’s no way I got this lucky. What’s the catch?”

So far, I genuinely enjoy talking to her, and I haven’t necessarily seen anything that proves she’s trying to scam me. I’m just scared of letting my excitement override my common sense. I don’t want to become emotionally invested only to eventually find out that she isn’t who she says she is, or that the whole thing was building toward asking me for money, getting personal information from me, or taking advantage of the fact that I’m lonely and inexperienced.

At the same time, I don’t want that fear to ruin something that could actually be genuine. I know I’m only 22, and realistically this probably won’t be my only chance at a romantic relationship. I’m trying not to convince myself that she’s “the one” or anything crazy like that. I just really like talking to her so far. She seems awesome, and I guess I’m caught between being excited that someone I actually connect with might be interested in me and being terrified that it’s too good to be true.

Hi all,

I’ve been talking to a guy for about a month now and he seems very sweet/responsive. We get along great and he finally asked me out.

The day of the date he had to reschedule saying family emergency. I said all good. This was on Friday.

The whole weekend passes with no message from him but he viewed my stories.

I messaged him last night (Monday) just giving him the indication of let’s reschedule etc still signalling my interest.

Anyways he saw my new story in the afternoon and hasn’t texted me.

He is not an avid texter like only checks the app where we message once or twice a day but always is very responsive and involved.

I am not sure what to think? How does it go from I’ll pick you up at 6 to can we reschedule to ghost? I feel like I’ve done everything in my power to show interest and have made the first move.

Thoughts? Will he text? Reschedule? Cut my losses?

​I'm turning 20 in a few months and I'm still a virgin. To be honest, during my high school years I had a lot of opportunities, I'm not an unattractive guy, but I turned all of them down because I was scared of catching STDs. You might wonder why I didn't just use protection. I actually got some (my friends would give them to me), but my friends kept saying they never feel anything whenever they'd use it. So to save myself from the embarrassment of not performing well, I just avoided sex altogether.

​I'm in my second year of college now, but because my classes are online, I don't get many opportunities to meet girls on campus. Back then it didn't bother me much, but looking at people around me who lost their virginity years ago makes me feel lame as hell honestly speaking.

​How old were you when you lost your virginity, and is it normal to still be a virgin at my age?

I’m lost. I don’t know what to do, how to start, or even where to go from here.

I’m 18, and I spend most of my days doing nothing consumed by social media and constantly fantasising about the life I actually want, while struggling to find the motivation to take even the smallest steps towards it. The strange thing is, I feel completely certain that I’ll achieve everything I want one day, yet at the same time, I’ve never felt more uncertain about how I’m actually going to get there.

I feel like I’ve lost my spark for almost everything. I can’t remember the last time I genuinely felt deeply excited, passionate, or emotionally connected to something. Even saying that feels incredibly cliche, but it’s honestly how I feel. It’s almost as if I hate everything, I hated school, I hate society, I hate the way we’re forced to live and slave our lives away.

Outside of my family, I have very little human interaction or genuine connection with people, despite connection being one of the things I crave most. I don’t know whether I struggle to find people I genuinely connect with, whether my expectations are too high, or whether I simply don’t put myself out there enough. I find it difficult to let people in, and I think that probably plays a bigger role than I want to admit.

The life I imagine for myself feels so far removed from the life I’m living right now, and I don’t know how to bridge that gap. Is it really as simple as going to the gym, talking to more people, becoming more charismatic, putting myself into uncomfortable situations, and just slowly building a better life?

I know people will tell me that I’m only 18, that I have plenty of time, and that I’ll eventually figure things out. Rationally, I understand that. But emotionally, it’s difficult to actually believe it when I feel so stagnant.

I could go on but my point seems to be getting across. I don’t necessarily expect someone to give me a perfect answer. I think I just want to understand how you actually start moving forward when you know you want more from life, but you can’t seem to make yourself take that first step.

I spent way too many years being closed off from the world because a man I liked picked another woman over me (I will be lying if I said it still doesn’t impact my confidence). Since then, dressing up, finding someone cute or being curious about someone feels extremely shameful and slutty.

How do I go back out there? I want to be able to post thirst traps, be confident in my own skin, meet new people and just have fun. I started working out, a full time job while being a full time student, but that lack of confidence is still there. I’m hyper vigilant as hell and always scanning for rejection ( which gets exhausting and draining as hell).

Im 24 and I know life will pass me by if I don’t make changes. But putting yourself out there literally guarantees rejection. Any advice on how not to be too sensitive about rejection?

For context, he's a doctor (male) and I'm a nurse (female).

He's a new doctor that just got hired into our OR theatre. We're both the around the same age and we have banter and chemistry. He's openly admitted he's single. The thing is because of the nature of our work environment privacy, fast pace team oriented, is very hard to get alone time as someone is always watching or listening. We're a small group of ~13 nursing staff and I want to keep this private but I also don't want to send an email asking for his number either. Any recommendations would be appreciated 🙏🏻

My boyfriend wants quickies that end only in his orgasm.. When I've said I don't feel happy with this unless he makes me orgasm first or helps me after he says 'why should I suffer and have to make you finish before or after just because you can't finish during sex'. The quickie is 2 minutes long and there's no warm up. Why does he feel like he's entitled to that and why is he framing my equal pleasure as a burden?

I’ve been pining recently over a girl and the relationship that could have been. I always liked her and it all started at a party when she came up to me and started talking. We have always been friendly but this was different. Her friends told me later she liked me and that’s when I thought something would happen. But every night out after that nothing did happen. It was close and it was like we were both waiting but nothing came. Maybe I was too scared or maybe she didn’t push but when we were together nothing came. I asked her to the end of school balland we went and had a blast, but now that schools over it’s like I’m empty and waiting for what could have been. I spent so much time thinking about something that could have happened. So many mixed signals and messages and I just keep wondering what could have happened and what I could have done differently. I put her on a pedestal I can’t take her down from. By the time the ball came we both just knew that it was as friends even tho it was never said. And I accepted that even though really I wish I just did something more.

¿Lo has dicho alguna vez? It does matter to me when after a couple of months he keeps coming back

would any man date a woman who has one boob maybe a b/c and the other a d/dd? I feel like my boobs are definitely 1-2 cup size difference, they hang at different levels, one Areola is much bigger than the other and sags more. I’m only 20 so I don’t know what to do, it’s not like I have money for surgery and if I did it could also still be uneven again since I have scoliosis and it seems to just unequally deposit fat when I gain weight in general in that area in general also and is probably genetic

am I supposed to tell any guy I meet this immediately when we first start talking, before we were naked together, or just not say anything at all? I heard like 10-20% of women have different cup sizes and asymmetry that much but I’ve also heard so many men online say it’s abnormal and they’ve never seen that before so it gives me an idea maybe most men don’t realize that can happen and I’m worried it would be considered ugly or weird . They’ve been unequal my entire life

Or should I just never date?

I know he’s attracted to me. We exchange nudes. We other things, but he will not allow himself to have sex with me. He removes himself from any situation or position that would even make it possible, and I don’t understand.

It seems he gets overwhelmed when it turns into something sexual. I’m confused by it.

I was thinking early retirement not too long ago. I'm curious what other guys would do in this theoretical scenario. Let's say you're dating a woman for several years with no intention of marrying (at midlife it's just too economically risky and pointless). Would you want that woman to retire with you and subsidize her income/lifestyle? This would be more or less in a scenario where the age disparity is pretty decent 10-15yrs causing you to be at very different retirement points.

I didn't provide any specific #'s because it truly is a fictitious scenario..

My (29f) bf - 28yrs old and I have been together a few years. As of lately, I’ve been getting a little annoyed with him over things and I don’t know why he acts the way he does.

I’m an artist and recently just finished a commission that took me a month to paint (had to teach myself how to paint water and grass with acrylics) and he knew I was working on this piece. Everytime he’d ask what I was up to, I’d tell him I was painting. Then he’d respond with “oh my god” and it was annoyed tone everytime. I asked him the last time he did that why and he said “you never pay attention to me when you work on art.” Mind you, we’re medium distance (3hrs apart) and our jobs are flexible enough where we can be in call 24/7 which we normally are. I was so confused by him saying that cause I’m like…I’m on call with you non stop, we’re always watching a YouTube vid/movie/podcast that you like & im always talking to you. The last couple days I was finishing the painting he was like “can you not work on it today?” Mind you I only painted during the day due to light, and as soon as golden hour would hit (about 5pm ish) I’d stop painting.

Anytime I have plans to go somewhere, I usually know what time I need to be ready by and like to take my time getting around so I usually start a few hours prior. I know how I feel when rushed and I don’t like it. Last Wednesday I had a concert with my bffs and we were supposed to leave at 4pm, I started my shower/hair/makeup/eating around 12-1pm. While I was doing my makeup he was like “you better not be doing that weird stuff of getting ready hours beforehand” and I’m just quiet as he said that. He was at work at the time, we don’t live together, therefore my getting ready doesn’t effect him in any way. He does this all the time when I have events, like my little cousins graduation, friends birthdays, etc.

Bouncing off the last point, he always brings up me taking pics & vids for him or letting him make me climax before leaving. And it’s always during the times when I’m getting ready. And he’ll wait 5-10 mins before I leave and say “babe let me make you O” and I’m annoyed cause I’m ready to leave and don’t wanna bother with that.

He knows my dream career is designing merch & album covers for musicians/bands and therefore I’d have to promote my art online, which means taking pics and vids of me making said art. With him shareplaying and screen sharing nonstop all day I can’t film without the video pausing and him being like “babe! Quit pausing the video!” And it’s starting to feel intentional since he knows I’d have to do that for my career choice. Mind you a lot of days we’d watch YouTube for 8-9hrs straight.

Today I planned on starting some Halloween makeup looks to get ahead so I can actually enjoy the Halloween season and I told him that and he was like “why?” And I told him the reason - it being what I just typed - and he was like “why do you do the makeup?” And I told him that I’ve always done sfx makeup for Halloween and it’s something I enjoy doing. He responded with “oh” as if not believing that being an actual reason

His ways have me so confused as to why he’s been acting like this. I know he doesn’t have any hobbies (only saying that cause he goes to work, comes home to smoke and then plays on his phone for the rest of the night) and has fallen out of the habit of going to the gym for a handful of months now but still…

Okay so I 18 female am bisexual, my gf 24 is a lesbian. I have quite a few male friends because why wouldn’t I. Anyway, there’s this one I’ll call frank, me and him have gotten super close this year and my gf thinks somethings up.

So she says it’s not normal how much he touches me. I’m very physically affectionate with my friends and I kinda act the same around Frank. By touching my gf is referring to the fact Frank often puts his arm around my shoulders or waist and hugs me goodbye. To me this is just normal friendship stuff, but she said that that’s a clear sign he’s into me. Anyway I obviously mentioned to Frank that the touching made my gf uncomfortable and he understood, my gf still wasn’t happy I was hanging out with him so I started to see him in group settings only.

Then here’s the fallout we were at a bar as a group me, Frank, a bunch of other people and my gf. We were all pretty drunk and Frank came over to me and kinda hugged me from behind while asking me when we could next hang out. My gf got pissed off and grabbed my arm and we went home, she’s telling me that I can’t see Frank again and she says clearly he’s interested in me. All of my gfs hug me and like out their arms around me I dont understand why Frank doing it is any different. I don’t know what to do should I stop seeing Frank?

Well damn.

My wife (30F) and I (32M) have been together twelve years, married ten. We've got three healthy little kids (ranging from 2 to 7).

Like any relationship there have been some ups and downs and no one who looked at everything objectively would say that either of us are perfect.

But, we've been through a lot. When we met we were broke and in our early twenties, just out of school. We've built a life, a career, and have three kids, own a rental property... life's good by that metric.

Ever since she had our first kid, my wife has been a SAHM. This was her dream growing up and I'm glad that I have been in a position where that's been possible.

We've hit these bumps in our relationship every year around the holidays. I don't need to get into the particulars because I can only provide my side and it'll be slanted in my favor, but it usually goes like: (1) I do something annoying to her, (2) she reacts by devaluing our whole relationship, (3) I dig in, (4) she does something nuclear, (5) I respond in kind, (6) she latches onto my response and holds onto it for the rest of the relationship.

Again, that's my take, so it's probably biased, but for three years, three major blowups, it's followed that pattern.

Anyway, we've finally gotten through it, gotten through the postpartum hormones, the kids are getting more independent... you'd think we're heading in the right direction.

Last month we go on a trip to Florida (for a work conference for me, but still), and get to spend some time together as grown ups. We lament that we never get time together away from the kids, so I resolve to fix that. The only people who she trusts to watch the kids are her family, so I get with her brother and his wife, we pick a date, I tell my wife...

Then yesterday, the day before the date, she's just in a mood when I get home. Doesn't want to talk to me, doesn't want me to even hug her... just weird. She leaves after dinner without talking to me and comes back when the baby's going down then leaves again.

Okay, no big deal.

Then this morning, she tells me: "I don't want to go eat with you."

Then all day it's been texting back and forth, with her telling me: "I don't need you. I just need your money," and "I'd rather eat alone than with you," and "I don't want to see you, I don't want to be near you, I don't want to talk to you," and "I'm tired of living like this and having to wake up every day and do the same thing and clean the same messes and getting no help from you."

And look, I get it-- a lot of guys are bad husbands and bad fathers and they come home after work and plop down on the couch and just assume their stay-at-home-wife will tend to them on bended knees.

But I don't do that. I got home yesterday, and when it became clear she didn't want to talk, I folded clothes, I cleaned up the playroom, I got the baby up, we all ate together (though she didn't want to talk to me during the meal), then I took all three kids to play outside to give her a break.

And this isn't uncommon. I do it every day. She's always stressed, she's always on edge. So I take care of the kids and the house and I tell her, "Hey babe, go out, go eat, go shopping, go hang out with your friends, go to the gym, I got this."

And I have nothing. I don't get to hang out with friends, I don't even have any because I seldom leave the house. I don't get to go to the gym except in the mornings before work while she's still asleep. I don't get to go shopping because it feels selfish when she's at home stressing.

So I've gutted myself, I'm a hollow little automaton going to work and then going to work at home and then going to sleep and doing nothing else, but still it's not enough.

And for her to be so bold and brazen that she's just using me for my money just sends me into this awful hole where I feel so worthless.

I've told her, you're not angry at me, you're mad at your lot in life, because you don't like where your life is headed or your feel directionless or something. So go back to school or get a job or do something different. Don't just sit and fester and get angry at your husband and your kids.

But it doesn't matter.

She's contacted her brother and sister-in-law and told them not to bother coming.

She's told me she's got plans for tonight and she's going to be gone this weekend.

I don't know how my life got to this point.

Is there any coming back from a situation like this? Any healthy relationship on the other side that you could get to? Or am I just doomed to this Sisyphean struggle?