I see all the time stories of those with CPTSD emerging from places of continuous abuse/subsequent emotional turmoil. I want to know if it’s possible to have it without these conditions as I’m interested in visiting a psychiatrist but want some advice first.

For context, I grew up objectively unattractive and still am to this day. Because of this I was constantly treated as invisible all throughout my life for as long as I can remember and the only time I wasn’t was to be mocked by guys in school and them pulling the “my friend likes you” “ewww no way” jokes. I was constantly invalidated and received microrejections from both genders every single day, skipped prom because I had no date to go with, was only talked to in order to get with my one friend (who was much more attractive than me) and that hasn’t changed in the present. I have never gotten compliments that I am pretty or anything describing my physical appearance, not even from other women. Not even negative attention such as catcalling. To sum it all up I have never experienced even ONE instance where someone found me attractive/desirable in one way or another.

Because of these experiences (or lack thereof, I guess) I have grown to have a very distorted perception of my body and general self that definitely exceeds the normal threshold of body image insecurity to the point it is actively causing issues in my relationship and definitely mirrors some kind of sexual trauma.
I can’t easily describe it either as I know I’m being illogical but it’s my problems are coming from a place of mental distortion.

I want to know if it’s worth consulting with a doctor for a diagnosis on the basis I may have CPTSD. Thanks for any advice :)

Edit: i understand now it is not CPTSD and I apologize for suggesting this was traumatic in any way, I’m now more educated on the topic and realize it’s body dysmorphia combined with insecurities and childhood neglect, and it’s absolutely still worth consulting with a professional on that basis, thanks for all the help everyone 🫶

I'm still piecing things together, my CPTSD diagnosis still feels fairly recent.

I once saw a post here that suggested that a lack of direction sense is a symptom. Both me and my brother have no sense of direction, we get lost really easily. If I have to go somewhere unfamiliar, I spend like an hour memorizing a map before going anywhere because overcompensation is the only thing that prevents me from getting lost.

I know that other symptoms emerged very early in my life, like by the time I was four or five.

The one thing about me is that I tend to get hit with the giggles very easily. My earliest memory of this was from first grade when I was sent to the principal's office because another kid did something funny and I couldn't stop laughing.

This used to happen quite a lot when I was younger. I would sometimes get so giggly that a lot of people assumed I was a pothead even before I'd ever even tried the stuff. (Weed also makes me think a lot of things are very funny, it seems to accentuate the giddiness.) It still happens, just not as often anymore.

It's not really a problem, like of all the symptoms of CPTSD I have, being able to easily laugh is actually kind of nice at times. I'm more just curious if my giddiness is yet another symptom. I'm a little inclined to think it might be, since my brother is kind of the same way and both of our parents are utterly humorless, so I feel certain I didn't inherit it.

My Mom (70s) and I (30s) were chatting about her past and she told me more details about the person she dated before my Dad. She received a letter from him while he was dying from illness (and they both married other ppl). It sounds like they occasionally talked to each other.

She first told me about this guy when I was in high school. Back then, she told me that she still loves him. Then as now, she told me not to share any of this with Dad because it would hurt him. Also when I was a teen, she said that if I had not been born, she probably would have divorced my Dad. They have been together for almost 50 years.

But does she realize how awkward and somewhat uncomfortable it is to hear one’s mom talk about some other guy that’s not my Dad??? My Dad has a bunch of problems but he’s still my Dad.

No one is going to save you. You save yourself. You make space for your emotions. You process it. You heal it. You move on. You accept the realities of life. You accept the hard truth.

In my particular case these actually are also *very* independent people who *don't need* to be taken care of and who would resist it if they *did* need it.

Just saying that too.

Anyone else in a similar position? 🤔

TW CSA

Hi, my dad raped me when I was younger and when I told my older sister she messaged my mum and said I was a crazy feminist and Im lying. She is really close with our dad. But that was several years ago and now Im being invited to meet my niece who is a toddler and I'm not sure if I should go simply to be a good aunt or if it will make me have a nervous breakdown. She says she wants to make ammends with me but that she still doesn't believe me about being raped. She says she wants to be my 'safe space.'

What would you do?

I get that therapy works for millions of people.

I get nobody wants to believe therapy itself truly just doesn't work for some.

I've heard all the excuses.

"bad therapist fit"

"bad therapist"

"wrong modality"

"wrong level of care"

"stopped treatment too early"

"patient wasn't ready"

"patient didn't put in enough actual work"

"patient went in with a bad, resistant attitude"

and many more.

I've never heard anyone who believes therapy itself just doesn't work for a smaller percentage of people. Whenever you try to propose this idea, everyone jumps to tell you why therapy in general works and why you need to keep trying

well, in my case

I've done 17 modalities over the past 16 years across four different states in all levels of care (hospital inpatient, residental, php, iop, and op) and have done fully in person therapy, fully virtual therapy, and hybrid therapy, and I can't even count how many therapists I've had. The shortest time I did one treatment for was 5 months and the longest time I did one treatment for was six years. But even during that six year period it wasn't the only thing I did. To this day, all the therapy ive ever had was either completely ineffective or made me feel worse permanently for the rest of my life. I still have debilitating symptoms from failed therapies years ago.

"have you tried" "have you tried" "well have you ever tried"

yes, i have tried.

I think it's time to stop blaming me or the therapists and just come to the true, most logical conclusion at this point

A week ago, I opened up in a peer-support space on the app TalkLife during an incredibly vulnerable moment. My dad has completely ignored my real-life trauma, so I was just looking for a safe community where someone might understand.
Instead, because of a minor misunderstanding, a group of users completely ganged up on me. They attacked me and unleashed words that hit my exact trauma nerve. When I gently asked for respect, they twisted it, gaslit me, and told me it was "unfair" of me to think I’m the only one who got struggles. To make it worse, the community leader openly defended the bully.
I stood up for myself, but the betrayal of a "safe space" siding with cruelty has left me reeling. The shock still hasn't left my body. Has anyone else experienced this kind of toxic clique dynamic on TalkLife when you were just looking for help? I just need to know I'm not the only one who has been burned like this.

this is my first time posting here sorry if any of the formatting is wrong.

i(22f) got diagnosed with cPTSD a little over a year ago, not going to go into much detail but when i was between the ages of 6-12 (unsure exactly) i experienced many instances cocsa with a family member. throughout middle-high school, i also dealt with emotional abuse from a step parent, who thankfully is no longer in my life.

recently ive realized how much of my alone time i spend in a kind of dissociative state. it feels like when im not with people that im kinda not real. part of it is definitely an external validation thing, i feel so throughly convinced that something about me is bad or wrong and i don’t have any way to reassure that when im alone.

i just feel so lost. im not engaging with my hobbies. i’m not doing the work i need to do to graduate. i need to break out of this but i just don’t know how. i spent so much of my life trying to get away from the things that were happening that dissociating just feels so safe.

ugh.

A vent post but I need validation. I feel like im going thru the wringer rn.

MULTIPLE TRIGGERS SUCH AS PHYSICAL ABUSE, SEXUAL ASSAULT, SUCIDIAL THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS, ECT!!!!!

Growing up, I was severely bullied. By men specifically, because I was ugly. Still am, not the point. I used to get beat up by a few specific kids, this time ranging from 2nd to 8th grade mainly, although I was verbally bullied in high school still (2 years spent at 3 dofferent schools between 9th and 10th grade, returning to my original school in 11th grade.) 9th grade had a little bit of physical bullying, but not as much as the prior years.

When my concerns were brought up to my oarents and principal, they were largely ignored and got me into trouble more often or not. My oarents said to fught back, which always lead to me getting suspended AND iss over the perpetrator(s) getting it less harsh than me, (ex just ISS, or nothing but a firm talk.)

One time in 4th grade. I was told it was because the kid had a crush on me. Not true.

I was asked out as a joke maybe 10 plus times by random people, even once at six flags by some people i had never met while i was standing alone waiting for my brother on my birthday. I was 16. I paid for the whole thing.

Almost every birthday Ive had has been bad. Day I was born, my dad was in prison. Any recent birthdays after 10 that I remember have been busts. I woke up on my 11th I think with nothing but a clifford plush from a give away bin. 12th, a big walmart bouncy ball. 13th, i dont remember, i dont think anything besides like pads. 14th, CPS was involved so there wasnt any room for me to be focused on. 15th, got out of cps a couple days before and i got nothing. I got a cake that was made in a pan and tasted like river water, and got a job. 16th, nothing, paid for my own party w me my friend her parents and my brother at sixflags. 17th, I got molested by my first boyfriend. 18th, I spent it with my bf and his sister at an arcade and saw the TADC movie no gifts besides a tiny little keychain from his sister and a plush, a tiny statue, and bottle of my favorite cheap perfume, and some stuff from my mentor such as clothes and stuff. My bf did pay for my shit at the arcade and the tickets.

Ive never got Christmas gifts I like besides my guitars from my grandpa and our trampoline from my grandpa, and my bike from my grandpa. My guitars got pawned, bike was broke and never fixed, and trampoline broke after a year ish. Everything else i got for christmas wasnt even made for me in mind. I got an art kit one year just because im ok at art, a makeup kit so i could "look prettier," and in years after my grandpas death, nothing at all. Ive been paying for everything.

I never had friends as a kid, besides until like 3rd grade before I was abandoned because I was too childish. I never wanted a bf, and wanted to rp being pokemon at recess instead of gossiping or being up to date.

I joined basketball in 8th grade, hoping ti get good and impress people, but I always overcomplicated things and misunderstood social cues. I got too frustrated and always ended up crying and making a fool out of myself. I was too childish. Only scored one point on a free throw in my first game. It was the one hame my grandpa went to, and my dad went to few after if any after. I wouldnt remember. Only my dad and grandpa came.

I got taken by CPS before high school started, a couple days before. My mom was a hoarder, still is, and we had to crawl in my home and still touch th ceiling. There was always only rotting food in our fridge and we always ate take out because our grandpa cared.

My grandpa died while I was in CPS. A couple months before we got out actually. It makes me sad that he never knew if we got out or not. In cps, i was put in a foster shelter with my younger brother, while my younger sister and baby brother were put in two foster homes nowhere near us. Worst time of my life. Couldnt have a phone or do anything. Eventually we all went to one foster home with 2 other girls, excluding my youngest brother. The 2 other foster girls were black along with the foster mother. This matters because every time we had a critique, we were labeled racist. I thought she was grooming my sister, (one of the girls, the younger one.) I was labeled racist and jealous because she was constantly hanging out w her and coming into mine and my sisters room late at night.

About a year ago, my sister told me that I was right, and she was being molested by the girl. I think that I shouldve dug harder back then and found the truth. Instead, I laid back and listened to the false shit i was told about being racist and stopped worrying about it.

I did theater for those years. Was in a play, and I asked my grandpa and mom to come. I was told they would. That day, I called my mom who said they couldnt make it. That night, I went back to the fister home and found out they moved my little brother to be with us. That weekend, I found out that my grandpa died on the same day as my play, and my mom found out a little before I called and asked.

I still am beyond upset 4 years later. About his death and any mention of it, or even seeing anyone wearing his work uniform from the same company he worked at can make my cry. Writing this is making me cry.

17th birthday, I was molested by my first and now ex bf. Ive wrote about it alot and dont wanna write it again. I have nightmares about what he couldve done while I was asleep, and if he had choked me longer, or if I had fawned and just did what he wanted. I regret not waking my dad up or screaming louder. If i had screamed louder he wouldve been caught strangling me.

Now I have no evidence and look like a schizo to anyone who doesnt know me or the proof I do have. I get sad about it still, and have thought more than once about killing myself over it and all previously mentioned things. Recently I held a knife on my neck and was about to before my mom walked in on me and started telling me to chill tf out.

Ive had a severe phobia of bugs since I was a kid due to having crickets cryshed in my hair by bullies, roaches tossed at me by my drunk dad, and other things.

I almost died at age 9 ish from a tonsil issue causing them to be extremely large and just choking me all nigh every night and day for over 3 months. My parents thought i was faking being sent home by the nurse every day and having a temp of over 100 every day. Finally got surgery when they were forced to give it to me for me to go back to school.

Every day since I was 15 they have taken my money from my jobs.

They still take my momey because I am told family helps family, but theyre hiding from cps again while I sit at this house with no food or running water.

They refuse to teach me how to drive and ive failed my first time because of it, second time test is later today. Probably gonna fail again.

I am being forced to watch these dogs and figure myself out with no car or money.

Had to get my own documents becaus they had lost everything. I have to pay a 115 dollar cashapp loan back i took out for them a month ago in about 3 days.

They lie to me and always give me the short end of the stick because I dont really do anything to fight back because I know its pointless. Theyll never care and im just looking for a way out. Without a car i dotn see it happening, as my bfs parents hate me because of my parents and they think im a homeless bum or smth. They think im more troubled than im worth and how he shld break up with me and find a less troubled girl.

Also, who would take care of the chihuahuas if I was gone. Ive had them for so long, i cant just leave. They need to come back.

Thry dont have a car and are using the person theyre staying withs car, conflict of imterest though bexause both of them, my dad and her work for doordash and spark and stuff. I have and older half brother and sister ive never really met besidesin person maybe a handful of times, both being 10 years older than me about and wanting nothing to do with us. Older twin brother changed his last name and older twin sister only talks to us to shit talk our dad and stuff.

I dont feel loved by my mom at all besides for my money and same for my dad. My siblings all get more attention than me.

I have gotten to the point where i pace nonstop for hours daydreaming and at multiple points forgetting who I am. One time, when way younger, after doing ut for 5 hours or more, i walking infront of a mirror after and cried when I saw my face.

I feel really out of my body alot of the time, and forget things like having a boyfriend, being a girl, or stuff like that. I aleays get a bit sad. At work, i just stop thinking and do what im told and thats why im so efficient.

I dont have dreams talk about, and when im told of a dream to have, i often cant do it because of conflict of interest. Such as getting an 80 on my asvab and my parents telling me to go to the air force, and my bf telling me he wldnt stay with me if i did.

My bf originally didnt wanna get with me because i was bullied and people were questioning why he would, making fun of me onfront of him. Hes gotten way better than that now and we're 11 months in.

There's other things but this is all i have right now. Story of my life.

Some stuff that goes on in my head... i hate sexual stuff, i cant get in the mood unless im by myself and fingering myself, never want to try having sex but my bf wants that alot. Im about to cry and shot thinking about it.

Whenever my ex gets mentioned unexpectedly or i think about it or i see him, i start shaking and crying or getting paranoid. Shaking right now.

I often have nightmares about it and being raped or killed by him.

On occasion at school i cane face to face with him and almost fainted and always got nauseous.

I cry thinking about not being able to stop his new gf from him but after warning her shes still around. Not much more i can do.

Whenever something sexual happens i think about that night. I cant stand hugging or making out or kissing but i tolerate quick kisses and hugging from my bf. I hate making out still.

I get so hurt and upset so easy and i hate feeling like that. I hate talking to my friends and i purposely push away and stop talking to them because id rather be alone, but being alone and not comforted kinda hurts. Leaves more time to daydream though so its like a give and take.

I have periods of being null or just completely blocked off. I cant feel sad at some times even when wronged and often just stop caring about what troubles me altogether until i have my moments where i explode in anger or extreme sadness. I dont feel happy or join in anything i do anymore besides daydreaming or petting my puppies.

I often go to bed hungry just because im sure im fat or eating too much. I have no running water so i always smell like shit. Im white trash and living in a hoarded up home behind everything else.

I get joy out of doing dumb shit like screaming and making a fool out of myself. I cant talk serious for too long, i always end up just making things not serious and have been called out multiple times.

I never let people be mad at eachother and aways try to redirect their anger at me by fucking up. Tension makes me uncomfortable.

When i have a grudge I have a GRUDGE. I dont let things go easy unless youre my bf or brothers or sister.

I act extremely dumb to make up for being mentally slow. Im slow but smart if that makes sense.

I feel uncomfortable with affection. I hate PDA because i know im not pretty enough for it to slide. I hate everything to do with compliments because ghey dont feel genuine.

I do dumb things and regret them later. Ive broken a toe from kicking a can while trying to my stupid ass dog off of my cat, i often do dumb shit and not realize the seriousness of what i did, and more.

I get extremely upset if something doesnt look the way i want it to. If the ketchup on my burger isnt perfectly in the middle or if it was even touched by an onion or pickle, or if the cheese isnt straight on the burger i get upset and start redoing it.

If my notes dont look right or if i dont do a task myself i get upset, and a bunch more things.

I cant wear shorts because of their feeling, leggings for the same reason or anything i deem to sexual.

I feel uncomfortable being a girl but I know I am one. I just wish i was born a boy. I feel so ugly.

I've always had a problem with sexual stuff, even before being Saed and people watching me eat. I cant do it.

Anyways yeah that's it. There's more but like this is all imma say.

I cant remember anything. All I have is this strong feeling something happened. I have no explanation, I dont think I hang around anyone creepy. I just have this overwhelming feeling that this did happen. In my mind I feel as if im not a virgin. If I listen to/see any sex related content that is harsh I feel as if I could vomit and my body starts shaking. I have no sexual attraction to others, no lobeto. Its always in the back of my mind but it makes me feel crazy since I have no apparent reason to feel and think this way. Can this happen with rape/sa victims? Am I just sensitive? Im afraid to bring it up because what if it IS just a feeling and Im not used to sexual media. Or what if it did happen but ive convinced myself it didnt. Ive felt this way for a few years now, its just recently gotten to the point of so much back and forth in my mind that I need to know if this can happen to people

It sounds selfish as they want an excuse to move on. While they hurt me.

Called me names, made me their babysitter and the black sheep in the family. I have so much anger and their excuse: It's all in the past, you have to push for a better future.

Gee when your bloodline have bullied you "playfully" or enabled other family members to hurt you, you often wonder I isolate and don't want to be around you.

I have to invite you because it's "wrong" to leave the family member, I have to see you because "it's deemed respectful"

I'm embarrassed that I'm living with my dad. I know other live in my parents but gosh they weren't joking that they drain your mental health. And he's stubborn and refuses to say no. Yelling at him won't work because he'll deem it as "you're an adult but I'll treat you as a kid" mentality.

I'm gotten more bitter and cold. And just feel empty sometimes.

It dawned on me that there is no statute of limitations for child abuse crimes in Canada.

That despite being nearly 30 years since the beating that changed me, that I can walk into a police station and file a child abuse complaint against my mother.

What’s even funnier is in 2003, there was a complaint filed against my mother for child abuse, I was 14 when the police interviewed me and I told the truth but that case went no where (I believe the police didn’t properly investigate us)

So now I am curious if there is any sort of record that could back my case if I do decide to file a report.

I’m curious of anyone gotten justice decades later?

Suffered severe abuse from mother, witness her attacking other since 4. Fawned mode kept me safe. Y'all know the drill: gravitated to abusive partners. Last one of 16 years has been emotionally abusive and neglected. Thought finally found "the one" who would rescue me. Sadly, it's reverse and has added to all the grief and damage inside.

DX three years ago at 71. If I didn't have my current husband to take care of, think my healing would be farther along. Instead my life is the 'fawner - caregiver to a man who was handicapped when we met 16 years ago and has Parkinson's last ten years. He's self-centered and always wants his way. But we fawners, we jump right in to help. Because love has to be earned!

So many incidents. Hundreds. Of course I turn the anger inward, living w/ low level depression. I can't heal while taking care of a man who years ago put his FEMALE best friend, his mother, his brother, all their needs before my needs over and over. THEY came first.

Just one example of many: he gave me a USED piece of jewelry two years into our relationship. He promised me a new watch and behind my back, his female best friend said, 'give her my old one as I'm getting a new one'. He listened to HER. He admitted what they decided together. presented it to me on Christmas Eve in beautiful tissue paper and fancy gift bag but the old box. I actually said ty. Finally told him couple years ago after a dozen more incidents, if he ever gets in touch with her, he's off to a nursing home.

I know painted myself into a corner. Will calm down in a couple of days and go back to picking up a new interest. Lately revisiting how much I loved the Beatles, especially Paul. Found a tribute band. Told husband NOT taking him. It's for me. My mother ridiculed my love for the Beatles when around 11-12 years old. I always made sure to stay on top of my kids interests and encouraged them. That's how you love.

Thanks for listening to my venting. My list of what have tried is extensive including ACA, EFT, cbt, IFS on and on. Too many incidents for emdr. Dozens and dozens. Have sibo and IBS. What a surprise, gut issues since a kid.

Whoever says Cptsd goes away if full of shit. It's like herpes always waiting to outbreak. Don't recommend writing letters whether living or dead. Doesn't work for me. Please, only if you have an innovative recommendation or medication (maybe) All the other psych stuff has not helped. I used to pray so much but where was God when I was being beaten with a belt as a 6 year old or first husband splitting my lip? No preachy stuff, clergy encouraged women to stay with abusers. I was better off in oblivion la-la land, compartmentalizing all the years of abuse. Pretending it really wasn't that bad. It was fucking horrific. Thanks y'all.

I have this problem where I sit and fight with an inner voice that tells me I deserved all of the horrific things that have happened to me and that I deserve much more. It's like this presence of hatred, whether it's some kind of entity or something I'm projecting -- It wants me to suffer slowly, to be in agony, to always wonder when the guillotine will drop. Like a lingering charge from a mock execution.. or maybe it will really drop this time? It sees my suffering as poetic justice.

I scan through my past. I sort through my own sins. I sit and try to honestly weigh if my suffering is deserved. And do I deserve justice, or is lack of all justice and solace part of the "poetic justice" I supposed earlier? I think of the foolish and unhinged things I've done. The way I've treated people at times. Did I step on something holy somewhere along the line?

Then I think about my own thought process and start chewing myself out.. "You're being ridiculous, obviously anyone who understands trauma, or has an ounce of emotional intelligence knows that wondering if you deserved it is a part of the trauma itself. And it's false." I know it's false on paper. But all the validation in the world will never penetrate me deep enough to find some innate sense of worth somewhere within myself. I have a flimsy sense of self-worth and I plan on trying to rebuild it once I get some of this other stuff off of my plate. One day. Hopefully.

As I question if I've committed some kind of unforgivable cosmic sin, I spiral into one of the darkest place I've ever known. I start wondering if the universe itself has turned against me. I start to wonder if love and truth aren't for me. Did I have my chance and blow it? I'm sure religious trauma has seeped into this as well.

How can I observe myself like a subject but still not find my way out of this deep dark forest I've gotten lost in? I'm trying to intellectualize my pain again I think. I think that's how.

“If you can describe it, you can control it, and if you can control it, you can outwit it. You can get beyond it, if you can describe it.”

This is how intellectualization can lead to healing. I think the majority of coping mechanisms thrive in denial. Facing truth takes courage. That rebuilds self trust. You can do it. Keep going. Keep writing. Keep talking about your pain. Get fucking specific. Burn it after if you must. But get it out of you.

I don’t want to be happy, I don’t want to heal. If that were to happen then it would also mean that Ive accepted my shitty fate, and I cannot do that, I must continue feeling despair, resentment and all these other feelings cause thats what reality wants from me. Trying to fight, trying to change my fate will lead to even more despair. And I just cannot accept that I can’t have what other (privileged) people were born with and that no matter how much I try to improve I will never get it, so why should I try to heal?

This is honestly such a stupid question but my mental health has basically stripped me bear and it's pretty damn obvious to everyone around me now how terrible I look. I've been told I look incredibly fragile, sickly even. Or that I walk like I'm drunk because of how easily I stumble. Or because of how my eyes look generally tired, unable to stand even simple eye contact. Or how my body looks so heavy to hold but too light for touch.

Just recently, we had a lesson on how to cope with adolescent problems and such, and there came the mention on how stress forms inside all of us. Then there came the mention of psychosomatic stuff and how it could even form into chronic illness. My friend immediately nudged at me, concerned, and was worried about how this might be where the direction I was going. I couldn't even deny it because it was true, my body is actively failing me as of right now, refusing meals, too many trips to the bathroom, constant lower body cramps and upper body aches, as well as rapid loss of weight. No matter how early I sleep, like 7 or 8pm, I always end up waking up at about 1-2am and spend up until 4/5am completely awake. In a way, I kinda feel offended when I'm told about how deep my bones are, it's basically the first thing you feel once you touch me.

I don't know what to do, I don't really have any plans of getting better, not that I have the options to do so anyway. I just...wanna ask for tips on how maybe I can appear to LOOK good? I've tried making myself more lively with a bit of makeup but I honestly look more like I went through some embalming. I'm aware of the reasons as to why I'm in this state but it's not really something I can get rid of on the spot.

I have this feeling arround my (left) chest. I've been diagnosed with CPTSD recently and reading things it seems like is a symptom of CPTSD but i just would not describe it as most? So;

- I've had it since as long as i can remember

- It is not "tight" ( as in if i would flex a muscle or so)

- I wouldn't describe it as pain, just really, really Fíng unpleasant

- I think anxiety or fear would describe it the most although sometimes i feel like there is sadness underneath it. I can recognise that when i try to figure out what it is and i imagine sadness and then that feeling correlates

- It is Chronic (24/7)

- In the morning it is at its worst

- I'm 34 now and when i was arround 20 it was debilitating and i thought i had general anxiety. I had this pending doom feeling from waking up to going to sleep (at night it was a lil better)

Can anyone relate to this? Is it hyper vigilance? "Stuck" emotion?

Thanks!