r/FirstTimeTTC • u/Smart_Car5623 • 7h ago
TWW trying to avoid eye contact with my unopened box of pregnancy tests...
literally only 4 DPO and losing my mind with anticipation/impatience.
i'm a rational person. i know that in no realty would i get a positive right now. but the parasites in me.... the demons in me want me to pee on a stick.
i'm a stay at home wife and my husband (who's my only friend) has no access to his phone while he's at work. so here i am, home alone, pacing back and forth past the box of tests on the dining table, while dramatic stings play in the background every time i get close to the box.
no one knows we're trying, so i have no one to vent to. no one to grab me by the shoulders and shake the irrational "but maybe!" out of my noggin.
i've been incessantly cleaning the house. i've been trying to numb my brain with social media, which, of course, is flooded with pregnancy/TTC content. i've been rearranging rooms. all while the little pink box in the corner of my eye whispers sweet nothings to me.
this is AGONYYYYYY.