r/PeterExplainsTheJoke 9d ago

Meme needing explanation Petah

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76.0k Upvotes

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4.7k

u/Personal-Try7163 9d ago

Am i the only person who gets compeltely naked?

2.4k

u/sovetsky-soiuz 9d ago

yooo i’m completely naked rn shitting

924

u/Lorvintherealone 9d ago

I also shit compeltly naked, i'd hate it if my top got in the way.

530

u/crokycrok 9d ago

Same. And I do not want any hindrance on my legs...

1.2k

u/jaxonya 9d ago

Nurse checking in.. Some of yall seriously need to switch up your diets. You should not be struggling like this

445

u/chefianf 9d ago

Chef here with experience in healthcare, I can help with this

519

u/space-hemax-c2c 9d ago

Plumber here

189

u/AnybodyWannaPeanus 9d ago

Yo what’s a surefire toilet? Last time I bought one, they sold me on being able to flush 12 golf balls. Apparently I need one that can flush 12 golf balls covered in a jar of peanut butter.

Maybe I just need less colon.

245

u/space-hemax-c2c 9d ago

I just play a plumber on Reddit but I’d say try more semicolon.

43

u/These-Nectarine9214 9d ago

I hate how hard I laughed at this

3

u/Necrotic69 8d ago

I started laughing hard and it triggered some sort of coughing response (currently recovering from flu), I seriously had issues taking in a breath to the point I was seeing stars and thought i was about to pass out....ya, I freaked out

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u/AmosBurtin 9d ago

Or…fiber

10

u/stoopidclod 9d ago

Beans, those should help

2

u/iPhonefondler 8d ago

What’s does high-speed internet have to do with this

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u/Fun-Heron-7609 9d ago

Better than no colon.

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u/MotorBoatinOdin1 9d ago

Your going to want to get yourself an American standard Vormax toilet thats gonna be your top tier power for residential - above that were talking commercial flushing

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u/Veteran_Hawk 9d ago

Had a gf with megacolon - she had most of it removed and ended up with chronic diarrhea. Believe me, you want one that's just the right size.

And if you have to dig it out...you need to see a doctor.

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u/ML5815 9d ago

My husband is obsessed with our new toilet, the Kohler Cimmaron. He said you could flush 5lbs of old spaghetti in one go and nothing would be left in the bowl. Pretty concerned about his insides now, but relieved to know where to go in a spaghetti emergency.

2

u/meatyylegend 9d ago

Put in a power flush toilet, and throw your plunger away.

2

u/AnybodyWannaPeanus 8d ago

The encouragement I needed.

2

u/rworne 9d ago

12 golf balls are not reasonable. A simple brick would suffice as a toilet test.

2

u/Doomdoomkittydoom 9d ago

Did someone steal your poop knife or something?

2

u/LemonOhs 9d ago

My family invested in one of those power flushing toilets they use in the hospitals. It's so loud when it flushes it scares people. I recommend it.

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u/Winter_Aspect_8675 9d ago

You ever looked a man in the eye's, a constipated man, desperate for relief, while you snaked him?

62

u/edebt 9d ago

There's a few ways to interpret this sentence, all of them hilarious and gross.

21

u/squirleydan 9d ago

Sometimes you just need a good plunging.

3

u/Rito_Moga 8d ago

Yes, but I had to pay extra for it.

2

u/NeeMaToad47 9d ago

I bet you became besties after that though

2

u/Maleficent_Memory831 9d ago

Eye contact is always vital.

2

u/rbartlejr 8d ago

No. But I have needed that on occasion.

2

u/the_rbaucom 8d ago

Umm can you explain the snaked him action? Or do I need to do a screenshot and a "ask peter"?

10

u/baabaablacksheep1111 9d ago

A ball valve and some pvc cement would fix it in a jiffy.

15

u/Background_Note6281 9d ago

Receptionist here.

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u/Musesoutloud 9d ago

Do tell.

20

u/QuietMolasses2522 9d ago

Fiber & hydration

2

u/Musesoutloud 9d ago

Yes, so true. I read chef and thought, recipe.

Have a good day.

2

u/chefianf 9d ago

Lol. I mean you wanna up your fiber game, beans and legumes my dude. Dense bean salad with some bulgar wheat and cucumbers.. you won't need to wipe.

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u/Scrug 9d ago

It has nothing to do with the poo itself, it's like an uncomfortable feeling wearing clothes while doing it. It doesn't bother me as much as it used to when I was younger, but if it's not winter then socks have to come off before hand.

I think it has something to do with senses being heightened while in a vulnerable position, and the sensation of clothes touching everywhere is just too much.

39

u/HallucinatedLottoNos 9d ago

This, plus being fat, I overheat very easily.

7

u/Acausticacoustic 8d ago

"..... I overheat very easily."

Overheating while taking a dump is a whole another level of human exertion I never knew existed. The more I know....

11

u/Merrick_Skygrave 9d ago

Picturing someone doing it in a public bathroom is really funny though- just seeing someone's entire outfit draped over the top of the stall lmao

2

u/One_Minimum_7969 8d ago

Imagine if someone stole dudes clothes...

2

u/akawendals 8d ago

Maybe that's the real reason why they have the hook on the inside of the door... 🤔🙃

29

u/Snaffle27 9d ago

Exactly. This is one if many reasons that shitting in public restrooms is only for desperate situations. I'm sure there are some crazy bastards that still fully strip down in public restrooms though.

3

u/Key-Tiger-4457 8d ago

Too true.

2

u/pixeldots 8d ago

Crazy bastard here. I try to do it only at work or at home, but when nature calls, you find the cleanest one you know (or in our country, we have paid bathrooms which usually do the work)

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u/severinks 9d ago

The t shirt can also creep down your naked ass towards your hand on the way up from wiping.

2

u/burgerdistraction 8d ago

Maybe it’s our animal instincts, nothing better taking a shit naked

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u/SNES-lover1 9d ago

It’s not about the diet. It’s about having larger or longer clothes and not wanting the constriction of pulled down pants, well that’s what I guess. For me it’s just an irrational thing to do.

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u/Laxativus 9d ago

It's not about that. Even if it's fast and easy it just feels right not to have any clothes on with the possible exception of socks.

9

u/crokycrok 9d ago

User's name checks out. (And yes, I confirm)

12

u/Spiff2Faded 9d ago

Mines bc of the suboxone i take. Still take softeners that dont do much

17

u/CarmichaelD 9d ago

The phrase we use is “all squish, no push”. Narcotics (buprenorphine is an opioid agonist) slow movement in the digestive track. You need a stimulant laxative like dulcolax or miralax.

15

u/Sethlans 9d ago

The way Americans talk about drugs by their brand name blows my mind.

7

u/JHMfield 9d ago

That's marketing for you. Americans often use a brand same so much it becomes the default way to call it. Like Tylenol. Many Americans don't even know they could get the exact same medication way cheaper if they just bought the generic version.

Using the Tylenol example, it's just common paracetamol, and generic versions are like half or even one third of the price as the brand version.

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u/Zealotus77 9d ago

Except paracetamol is acetaminophen over here. Even generic drug names are sometimes different.

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u/AnybodyWannaPeanus 9d ago

Ya man, miralax turns your insides into a slip-n-slide.
Source: recent colonoscopy prep.

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u/tikaani95 9d ago

Get you a bottle of magnesium citrate at Walmart it’s 1 dollar and it’ll fix your problem

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u/No-Fall-6319 8d ago

Use prune juice, but do not use that while outside. It can get very messy and you might need a shower afterwards. Half a cup of really hot prune juice, split into 2 doses within 1 hour. Drinking additional hot water between prune juice can help bulk out the mixture. It is effective within 2 hours of drinking, so make sure you are not doing anything important within that 2 hours. Once it starts, you will need to drop everything and run to the toilet.

9

u/pdxblazer 9d ago

is just comfy

11

u/stratdog25 9d ago

What’s medically wrong with pooping naked??

3

u/-Saltfish- 9d ago

Nothing. It's actually better, medically

3

u/-Petilil- 9d ago

I just want my clothes to stay clean i dont like my pants or shirt touching the toilet or the floor

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u/_Carl15 9d ago

i think they meant for the inconvenience of clothing, not the shitting itself.

i shit naked, i perspire a lot due to the humidity of the bathroom. id rather also not want my clothes be stained by invisible shit particulates.

2

u/Funny-Dare-3823 9d ago

For me, it's not a struggle issue. I follow the food pyramid. I just prefer to be naked when I'm doing something primal.

2

u/HallucinatedLottoNos 9d ago

The curse of being American and stressed out, I guess lol...

2

u/rconversani 9d ago

It's not about struggling, it's about freedom

2

u/Sbstnbd 9d ago

I shit naked because I enjoy it, not because I need to

2

u/jeremebearime 5d ago

Don't worry about me, nurse! My hemorrhoids are from chronic toilet phone use! Eat enough beans and you get an unfettered mudslide.

1

u/numyanbiz 9d ago

Don’t leave us sitting here, spill the T

1

u/OnIceJuice 9d ago

It’s not about diets sometimes they eat something spicy and it doesn’t hit till it’s time to come out lol.

1

u/bju83 9d ago

No offense, but… unless you are a male nurse, you wouldn’t get it.

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u/Kidkrid 9d ago

Some grog bogs, you just have to be naked for.

1

u/Nohly 9d ago

It’s not my diet. I just get overstimulated.

1

u/NudityMiles 9d ago

For real and I just want to get out of there as soon as possible.

Meanwhile it is like a whole thing and has been for years about sitting on the toilet for UP TO AND OVER AN HOUR?

Like WHAT?

1

u/TerrorFromThePeeps 9d ago

Its not always the constipation... sometimes if you get the other extreme, it's often preceded by a ridiculously strong hot flash that makes you sweat like a farm animal.

1

u/DoctorRandom87 9d ago

I've never struggled. I just like being comfortable

1

u/PsikickTheRealOne 9d ago

Person with stomach issues checking in. Diets don't help me nurse. Next suggestion.

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u/gmrayoman 9d ago

Just eat lettuce from Taylor Farms.

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u/kr44ng 9d ago

It's not always about the struggle from the act, sometimes it's also the additional freedom of movement you get without clothes and the guarantee of nothing getting on your clothing (I know that means stuff might get on your skin)

1

u/bmwwallace 9d ago

Radom dude checking in.... let em cook

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u/FaithlessnessAny2074 9d ago

You haven’t lived in life without taking a shit like this lmao

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u/2The_Kaiserin2 9d ago

Nicee, we summoned a nurse! If you don't mind, could give a few other tips as to what to do? I tried changing diet, it didn't work. I drank tea that was supposedly helping my bile, it didn't work out either. I went to doctors and they told me and my mom (since i was a month old, then 2-3yo) that my bile has some defect from birth? Something with my bile. What else can I try? (Hope you don't mind asking, since all the doctors tell me the diet and some medicine which don't help at all or make it worse)

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u/jaxonya 9d ago

Fruit, vitamins, exercise. Where do you live? Brother give me ur medical chart and maybe I could help.

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u/Imaginary_Toe8982 9d ago

or they can use dilators and stretch those sphincters with time...

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u/midnghtsnac 9d ago

Might be unreasonable fear, but I don't like the idea of getting shit on my shirt

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u/dice725 9d ago

How can we do so?

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u/PumpikAnt58763 9d ago

Adding a little green and beans at a time would do wonders.
On an episode of Rizzoli and Isles someone Korsak was afraid he was having a heart attack because he had drastically changed his diet one day. He had even started eating wheat heavy crackers! Maura looked at the box of crackers and you could see her trying hard to not laugh as she told him he was experiencing gas.

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u/LoFi_music_ 9d ago

Nurse.. not a dietician or poop specialist?

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u/DragonBadgerBearMole 9d ago

It’s the one place you can manspread unabashedly anymore, can’t have pants ruining that.

2

u/Spider-Mike23 8d ago

Same. I hate the pants around ankles while sitting. Feels like my thighs to close, like ankles are cuffed. and makes it harder if got a cheek spreader.

1

u/DumbScotus 9d ago

That’s a lot of time & effort to free your legs, I just take one leg out and the pants swing around on my other ankle.

36

u/United_Pain 9d ago

I also also shit compeltletlty naked

25

u/Amtrox 9d ago

I find it so unhygienic if people leave their clothes on while shitting. It’s gross.

15

u/Subpars0up 9d ago

Do you pull your pants down to fart as well?

3

u/Bobbyg2287 9d ago

This made me LOL, lol

3

u/itsonlyrockinroll 9d ago

Valid Point!

2

u/BobbyBoopersnoot 9d ago

Do I do it or do others do it?

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u/acryliq 9d ago

How does that work in public bathrooms?

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u/Otherwise_Demand4620 9d ago

The trick is to just leave the house naked, that way the world is your public bathroom.

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u/DismalSoil9554 9d ago

feral noises intensify

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u/sadsackspinach 9d ago

fecal noises intensify

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u/Tyrone3105 9d ago

Just never use a public bathroom to shit… unless it’s extremely extremely dire.

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u/Windrider904 9d ago

Man, life without IBS must be amazing. I wouldn’t know.

4

u/Self-Comprehensive 9d ago

I make sure I'm empty before I leave the house and take immodium if I'm feeling even a little bit "shitty". Helps a lot with avoiding the public restrooms. I also carry a pill or two in my pocket just in case. Might not keep me out of the public restrooms but I won't be going twice

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u/houseWithoutSpoons 9d ago

Yeah been a looong time since i shit in public. I got it down to a morning routine pretty good these days

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u/Pengunguy21 9d ago

Don't lose them

4

u/Spectos 9d ago

Outside of the home only the shirt comes off. It acts as a fart funnel.

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u/CodeSalamander 9d ago

You know how we always see those stories about people getting shit on the ceiling somehow in public restrooms? Yep, its the buck ass naked shitters.

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u/Spirited_Comb_869 9d ago

I don't wanna hang up my clothes up in a public bathroom stall 😂

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u/acryliq 9d ago

Or throw them all on the floor.

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u/LessInThought 9d ago

If I'm at home, sure. If I'm outside? The chance of my pants wiping the floor while I'm taking them off is too high. I also don't want to hang my clothes on the hanger, you never know if skid marks mcgee hung his undies there before you.

6

u/thinkfloyd79 9d ago

Exactly why I shit without a shirt on too. It's like the aura of shit sticks to the shirt.

10

u/Flaky-Page8721 9d ago

Yes, but now isn't your body covered with poop particles? Do you then take a shower everytime you shit?

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u/United_Pain 9d ago

Absolutely not are you crazy?? I walk through the car wash, shit is gross!

2

u/Flaky-Page8721 9d ago

Oh lord. I am suddenly imagining an obese person walking naked through a car wash after freshly taking a dump. I curse my graphic imagination.

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u/Blackrain1299 9d ago

I actually do shower after every time. I have a schedule.

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u/Vaelthune 9d ago

Lmao wtf

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u/TekThunder 9d ago

Got a little mental thing going on there dude lol

1

u/JediMasterZao 9d ago

That's fucking weird.

1

u/SpookySnep 9d ago

I shit outside my pants though

1

u/OnTheSlope 9d ago

I also think about how gross my phone is, it's been there at every shit

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u/Deakul 9d ago

compeltletlty

What the hell happened here

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u/thepresidentsturtle 9d ago

Same. But that's cause I shit in the shower. I run at peak efficiency

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u/Commitedtousername 8d ago

Wait like every single time?

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u/Soulfly-prot 9d ago

Competitively you mean

4

u/Aristarchus1981 9d ago

BattleShits

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u/AdelaideLooking4Sex 9d ago

I shit competitively naked as well, I usually leave the stall door open and stared down any fucker that looks at me

2

u/sudowooduck 9d ago

Fucker vs. shitter round 1

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u/AdelaideLooking4Sex 9d ago

I'm sitting as I write this and some damn motherfucker jjust walked into the restroom

2

u/quadmoo 9d ago

Wait are you guys being serious

1

u/Janexx_09 9d ago

Your top gets in the way??

1

u/Insane_Inkster 9d ago

Same here. I havent shit with my shirt on in like 15 years.

1

u/Plus-Statement-5164 9d ago

Have any of you seeked professional help?

1

u/FartFaceAnn 9d ago

When I was a little kid I remember dipping my nightgown in the toilet water so many times, it became a lifelong habit to tuck anything I’m wearing on top under my armpits for safe keeping. I remember being 13 and having my shirt pulled all the way up to go pee and going “why the fuck am I doing this?” And it unlocked a core memory

1

u/trbochrg 9d ago

OMG there are others? I'm not alone!

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u/Kooky-Measurement-43 9d ago

I do the same but somehow it gets uncomfortable in my office space.

1

u/919governor 9d ago

I competitively shit naked

1

u/FretlessMayhem 8d ago

“I always take my shirt off when I…go to the office.”

1

u/Xattle 8d ago

Started because I heard a horror story from a family member as a kid where their shirt caught it. If I'm at home there's no reason not to be comfy.

1

u/Slow_Replacement_745 8d ago

Jc. Eat an apple, y’all.

1

u/sheyndl 5d ago

I actually worked with a guy who was gone for an extraordinarily long time. When he came back to our station, he explained that the extraordinarily long shirttail on our uniform shirts, meant to keep them well tucked and not bunched up, had gotten in the way and “I shit my shirt.”

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u/Psychological_Pea14 9d ago

Right there with ya brother!

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u/AlternativeLog5494 9d ago

In naked shitting and posting on reddit as I type

1

u/AralphNity 9d ago

Where do you keep your phone?

2

u/Pwnage_ 9d ago

The human pouch; gods pocket; he boofed it.

1

u/LessInThought 9d ago

That's why he's shitting, making space in the prison pocket.

2

u/DesignerMaximum1342 9d ago

I also check reddit on the toilet

2

u/InterestingBagelTime 9d ago

I take my skin off

2

u/RainbowCape1364 9d ago

I'm doin it too rn dyde

2

u/tackleboxjohnson 9d ago

Believe it or not I’m completely naked except for the shirt

Shitting of course

2

u/HelloImVelo 9d ago

Later in time, but same here.

2

u/Choice_Inspector8499 9d ago

I don't believe you send a pic

(I am just kidding)

2

u/xPeachesV 9d ago

Same, though I’m about to hop in the shower afterwards.

If I’m home, I wanna feel free

2

u/Roquestea 9d ago

That makes two of us

2

u/hesperusii 9d ago

Socks only, baby!

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u/iintrospector 9d ago

Me too wtf 🤣

1

u/mcmv1905gs 9d ago

Yup. I entered with only my shirt off but everything came off eventually

1

u/HerraKeisari 9d ago

Me too. Glad I live in the west and own a toilet. Otherwise I'd have to go to the designated shitting street.

1

u/iAm_Not_Banksy 9d ago

On a toilet I hope ...

1

u/fuck-ya-mudda 9d ago

I’m actually completely naked and shitting right now 😂😂😂

1

u/sovetsky-soiuz 9d ago

yeah i was too

1

u/Ashamed_Bug_6207 9d ago

Send pic for proof

1

u/PhinneousPhingerz 9d ago

I'm completely clothed and doing the same, ten meters from the nearest thing that could be even remotely called a toilet.

1

u/Tomato_Gh0st 9d ago

Same fam

1

u/Sea_Can6572 9d ago

Me too, funny to think about the amount of people shitting on reddit right now

1

u/JaydedXoX 9d ago

I get naked and shave first, you have to be aerodynamic

1

u/envisionJayyy 9d ago

Damn, jealous. Sounds like a good time.

1

u/Angryfunnydog 9d ago

Don't sit there too long, it's unhealthy!

1

u/Effective-Meat-3289 8d ago

I'm naked but not shitting

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u/Bollopelao 8d ago

Yoooooo me three!

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u/Accomplished-Mix-745 8d ago

I could feel your nakedness from here.

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u/MRgarfo 8d ago

Yoooo me to

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u/preshe8it 8d ago

As I type this. I really only want to poop at home so I can be naked. It’s just so inconvenient to do it at work hahahaha

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u/Wild_Diver1601 8d ago

We don't believe without objective evidence

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u/BogBerg 8d ago

Yoooo I’m also completely naked rn shitting

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u/KingAlaric1 8d ago

No way! I’m shitting with all my clothes on! Didn’t even pull my pants down

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u/BlameTag 8d ago

Me too!

1

u/heavyspells 8d ago

looks down holy crap I’m completely naked and shitting rn too!

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u/Too_Many_Alts 6d ago

got my comfy support socks on and that's it

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u/EmAych87 5d ago

Even the socks are coming off..