I’m going to be a dad… and I honestly didn’t expect this
I’m 33, and I never really saw myself becoming a dad yet. It wasn’t supposed to happen now, but I guess it’s happening.
I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed.

My girlfriend took three tests, so yeah… it seems very real.
I always thought I’d have more time to chase some of my dreams first, but now that this is happening, there are a million things going through my head.

I feel like I suddenly need to learn about everything.
How to raise a child, how much we should save for their future and education, how I can support my girlfriend as much as possible during the pregnancy, what she should or shouldn’t eat, how I’m going to arrange things with work… We also just bought a house, so there’s already a lot going on.

But the thing I keep thinking about most is: how do I actually do this well?
How do I give my child the best start I possibly can? Not just financially, but when it comes to parenting, education, knowledge, health, emotional support, and just preparing them for life in general.
Sometimes i think im still learning myself things, and im kinda childish behaviour myself.

I’ve already ordered a few books, and I guess I have about nine months to learn as much as I can before the real learning begins.

For the parents here: what do you wish someone had told you when you first found out you were going to have a child?
Are there things you wish you had done during the pregnancy to prepare? Books, habits, financial decisions, things you did for your partner, or just small things that ended up making a big difference?

I haven’t told anyone yet, so I guess Reddit is the first place.
And I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing yet. It doesnt feel real but also it feels real.

(Sorry for the broken english sentences english isnt my first language)

My wife is due soon but showing major signs of preterm symptoms she lost her mucus plug around 33 weeks. I’m excited for our baby but i can’t help but freaking out when we have labor scares, just kinda seeing if any parents have some word of advice for me or things to calm me down or methods? This is my first post so please go all out thank you in advance

So, my gf got diagnosed with pcos and we got told that getting pregnant might be hard and should be supported by medicines. Without medicines, this happened after 4 weeks of trying. We are extremely happy, but what now? When is the reality and gravity of the situation supposed to kick in??? I’m at a complete loss for words

Due date is this week, and I have somehow run out of things to do. I actually started paternity leave this week and have a couple months of not working ahead of me. Already took care of all the major stuff like getting the nursery set up and installing the carseat and stocking up on food and babycare items. Even have the hospital bags packed and in the car already.

Not really getting a ton of enjoyment from music, movies, tv, or games - I think because I have so much nervous energy right now? Just keeping myself entertained feels kind of hollow at the moment. I've hung out with friends and wife plenty, and took the dog on so many long walks that now he's completely exhausted (hard to do because normally he has so much energy). The house is immaculate and all the yardwork is taken care of too. Any other day if I had this amount of free time I'd be thrilled but I just don't know what to do with myself right now.

So gents, what the hell did you do to keep yourself busy in a meaningful way while waiting for the baby to come in the final days?

First off I want to apologize if anything comes out wrong or disrespectful or even just dumb. But this feels more like a rant that anything, I’m hoping this reaches the right audience and maybe some Catholics (as I am)

For context my gf is 18 weeks pregnant, during the first trimester I wasn’t the best help mostly bc I had no idea what was going on but now I’m better at least I think, I know I’m not perfect and sometimes can be super stubborn and hard headed but even my gf has admitted she is too.
Now for the main event, i understand hormones are all over the place but sometimes she just says she doesn’t care about me or my opinion when i try to comment anything. For example she wanted to go to ACL festival during October and I mentioned that might not be a good idea because it’s a crowded event and something could happen to the baby or her (to prove my point while at dinner this past week we had to run to the ER nothing major but yall get my point) well she suggested to let her know to sell my ticket because she’s going either way. Part of me wants to talk to her parents but then again (she’s kind of daddy’s girl ) and feel like he’ll say well if you can’t put up with her she’ll find someone else.

Like I said I honestly just need some advice and hope to navigate this as best as I can. I want to be the best dad and husband God willing !

I recently moved in with my new bf 38m around may 19th. Dr says I’m 22 weeks which doesn’t add up to the date I arrived. I had an ex who was abusive spiritually, verbally, sexually, physically and mentally, so I ghosted him because of how dangerous the situation got.
This baby might be that ex’s. I want nothing to do with him.
I’m happy in the relationship I’m in, like I’ve finally found my person. Now I feel I’m being ripped apart. We thought it was his.
I’m thinking I was either raped in my sleep, or our roommate 38F says u can get prego 4 weeks before conception.
Anyways I’m in a new town, new place. I don’t know anybody. Our roommate somehow is convinced I’m a manipulative scumbag. As a result, she convinced him I’m someone I’m not. I’m the type who’s willing to fix myself and mend toxic behaviors.
They don’t believe me when I explain what happened to me I feel.
I love this man. He says if it isn’t his, he’s had enough and we can’t be together.
I guess my question is. Is there a way out of this? I keep praying. I feel so alone and anxious to be open enough to be myself.
I haven’t been able to eat or sleep much once I learned it could be my exs kid.
I’ll respect his decision, I’ll move on if I have to. I just want to be sure I’m not missing anything</3

After what has been a roller coaster of a pregnancy, we welcomed our twin girls(sister not pictured here, too small to hold) to the world. Our girls were given around a 50% chance of both surviving due to twin to twin transfusion syndrome. They were delivered by C-section weighing 1 pound 12 ounces and 2 pounds 4 ounces.

For anyone scared of how you’ll feel about becoming a dad, seeing them face to face for the first time is an indescribable feeling. It is a level of instant love you do not know you’re capable of feeling or maybe even knowing it exists.

As far as my wife… strongest woman I know. Went through hell and back the whole pregnancy and still came out smiling ear to ear. The female body does things that I am not sure I will ever understand.

We’ve got a long NICU road ahead, but we’re taking our wins!

My partner is a few months along now, and something shifted for me recently. Early on, I was just excited — telling family, picking a due date, all of that felt fun and easy. But lately, as things start feeling more real, I've noticed some quiet anxiety creeping in. Am I going to be a good dad? Will I know what to do? It's not constant, but it's there more than I expected.

I know this is probably a really common experience, but I don't talk about it much with people outside my partner, since I don't want to worry her more than she already has to think about.

For the dads and partners further along or already through this — did you go through a similar shift? What helped you settle into it, or is it just something that eases with time as you get closer to the due date?

Hello everyone! Wife is 4.5 months pregnant, and we are excited to be first time parents. We are currently single income household due to visa restrictions, and would be in the same situation for at least a year post baby, and then the wifey will make decision on getting back into workforce or not.

With that, I am interviewing for a job that will almost double our total comp> $200k+, but will require long hours and extensive travel (25-50%). I really like where I work currently, the people that I work with, and the work-life balance. Would you suggest making the shift or wait it out for the next 1.5 years?

The baby monitor I’m using now says it’s 1080p, but the night vision is honestly pretty disappointing. I can barely make out my baby’s face, so I’m realizing that resolution isn’t necessarily the whole story.

If clear night vision is basically my top priority, what specs or features should I actually be paying attention to besides 1080p? Is it the type of night vision, sensor quality, infrared setup, or something else?

Help out a sleep-deprived dad here. I really don’t want to buy another monitor and end up disappointed again.

Posting here because I don’t have other dad friends and I need to get my feelings out. Tomorrow morning my fiancée and I are going to have her first ultrasound. She got a call from the doctor earlier in the week to inform her that they’ve booked her in for an early scan (currently in the 7th week of pregnancy). This is our first baby, and it is a high risk pregnancy due to health factors. I’m trying to remain calm and be the voice of reason/reassurance as she is very anxious that they could say there’s something wrong (there aren’t any specific reasons for this fear per say, aside from the obvious; mainly first-time baby anxiety). I want to be able to keep her calm and not too stressed as I know worrying about every single thing that could go wrong isn’t going to do any of us any good.

But inside, I am a ball of nerves. I’m terrified about the idea of the doctor saying that there’s something wrong with our little peanut. I’m scared that they will find something concerning, or that they won’t find a heartbeat, which I know can be difficult to detect in early first trimester scans even with healthy pregnancies, but it’s still a fear. We know that this is the time in the pregnancy where the risk of miscarriage can be at its highest which is just terrifying. I’m trying to focus on the positives, like the fact that we’ll be able to get a more definitive due date, and hopefully be able to see our little one for the first time, but the anxiety is still overwhelming.

Has anyone here gone through the stress of an early scan like this? Was everything okay in the end?

UPDATE:

The scan went perfectly! We were both terrified there would be issues or they’d struggle to find the baby etc, but the woman doing the scan was able to find our little peanut straight away and confirm that everything is looking normal and healthy. We even got to see the little one’s heart beating which was honestly the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Wow. Thanks for the solidarity in the replies; I won’t say it’s reassuring to know that this anxiety never goes away lol but I’m glad I’m not the only one going through it.

If night vision is basically the only thing I care about, what should I actually be looking for besides resolution?

Hi! We're expecting our first in November! My husband is gonna be such a good dad and I am so excited to be doing life with him. He has four sisters and is the oldest, so it's safe to say he's got a lot of experiences w babies. I'd like to get him a few books about becoming a dad. Less instruction manual style but like emotional, encouraging, experience and science based.

I feel like there's a word I'm looking for here but I can't find it lol. Book recs that remind him he'll be awesome but also serve as references. And do not downplay the emotions that come w being a dad for the first time.

Thank you and congratulations to you all :)

Kinda loosing my mind with anxiety of if I just wanna be better then my parents I want to give more then I ever received and so on and so on. But the my question is what to expect what can I do to be a supportive husband and father. What are going to be my roles. I have zero experience with new borns. Any good books? I’m super excited and I already feel proud and ready to help but scared to DEATH.

day 1:
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Hi dads. I need your advice and wisdom.

In less than one month I'll become a father. It's week 37, so it can actually happen any moment.

For most of the time of pregnancy I knew that I'll be a parent someday and didn't think much of it. But this "someday" is finally happening and it hit me like a train.

My parents and my wife's parents were really bad at it. My father was more like my boss since primary school than like a guiding father. So, we can't really count on them. We're on our own.

I'm 33 yo. One more thing about me. Thanks to my "loving" family I struggled with mental problems - anxiety disorder and OCD. But thanks to years of therapy and my psychiatrist, I'm dealing with it pretty well. But every big change (like buying own apartment or now the pregnancy) is really hard for me.

So here I am. Scared as hell. I just realised that this is really happening and we'll have a baby. A boy. I was happy about it, but now I feel sadness over losing my current comfy life. I think I will miss it very much. I'm scared of losing my free time, of being responsible for a real human being, of my health. I don't know if I'm strong enough to be a father. To be a good, present father. I don't want to "break" this kiddo.

I have a lot of thoughts. Do I even watned to have a baby? It was my wife's dream. She says I'll be a great father and a family man, and she knew it all the time and that's why she married me. I'm not sure I wanted be a father. I think I'm just afraid of the change. I never wanted a dog in my apartment and now, when I Have the dog, I can't imagine life without him.

I'm really scared and confused. I had to say it to someone. I tried to find some encouraging words in the internet, but found mostly negative opinions like the one in regretfulparents subReddit.

If you came this far. Thank you.

Why do all my friends and family turn into monsters when my wife is pregnant? I’ve lost 4 very close friends and 2 family members that we’ve now blocked each other permanently on social media and comms because of my wife pregnant.

It’s as if the jealousy and envy is amped up to a thousand since we’re expecting.

Wtf is going? Is this normal? Does everyone just turn against you because you’re in a different stage of life?

Please add some sanity because I’m losing mine.

Wife gets 16 weeks + 2 weeks nesting prior to birth.

I get 8 weeks from my company paid and technically I could sign up for WA FMLA and get 4 more weeks on top of that.

Since daycare costs $3800/mo in our neighborhood in Seattle, and family is 2000 miles away, here's what I'm thinking.

I'll wait until the 4 month mark when she goes back to work to take my Pat leave to extend our time before daycare. But I know I'll need to take a week or two of PTO minimum when baby is born.

I work from home, and get a decent amount of free time throughout the work day. I'm hoping one week PTO would suffice and after that I just go back to working in my home office approximately 5 hours per day for the remainder of wife's Mat leave.

Thoughts on this or would you do it differently?

I am 23, and we just hit 3 months of marriage, and we found out that we are expecting. i am super pumped, but i also feel like i just need to cry.

*update*
My daughter was born on the 28th in the morning with only two pushes. I didn’t even have time to get dressed to go into the delivery room. The doctors were trying to prep her for a c-section, but our baby girl came the normal way

So my wife is stuck in the hospital right now as we’re trying to prevent birth since her water broke too early. She can’t seem to get comfortable. Any suggestions fellas?