In photos my skin looks horrible, my face shape looks horrible, my body shape looks horrible, my hair texture, hairline and color is horrible, my sideprofile is horrible, my nose and eyes are horrible, my double chin is horrible, i look horrible because im fat but when im slim I look still horrible. Even my very good lookin clothing turn horrible looking when i wear them.

I would really enjoy takin selfies and outfit pictures but i just look way too strange and ugly on photos especislly outdoors.. bright lights are my big enemy

Just wish had money to fix this all.

I dont care what others think as much as what i myself think about my appearance. Only money can fix it unfortunately

I have nothing in life anymore. Everything I love is gone. I’ve never had any real friends, my father is awful and my mother doesn’t understand, I’m not even talented at the one thing I enjoy that I’ve been doing for years, I hate my room, I have no motivation, I don’t like anyone else, no one is supporting me, my teachers hate me, I am disgusting, I never accomplish anything, I’ve always been bullied, I have no special traits, I have nothing in common with anyone, I don’t have a lot of basic things others my age do, I hate my lifestyle, I’ve always been an outcast, school gives me anxiety attacks, and no one likes my personality.

No one would care about my death except some of my relatives who would only care out of obligation. No one I know likes me enough to worry about my mental health. I also don’t like anyone because I’m not like any of them. I hate the way they speak, their choice of words, their trends, their fashion, their mannerisms, their personalities, and their ignorance and incompetence. I want to like others, but I simply can’t. I try to fit in, but I always feel like a fraud. And when I show my real personality, people think I’m crazy, and it only solidifies what I know about people already: they’re all shallow and basic. I don’t want to live anymore.

I don’t think I belong in this world. Life isn’t worth living if it’s only going to be good for everyone around me and bad for me. I want to live, however, I simply can’t keep going. Things will only get worse as well due to upcoming events: my dad being more involved in my life, more work in school, having to talk to more people, etc. Please give advice or validation. Thank you.

No more having to watch straight people get everything. No more not being able to ever be myself without hate & violence. No more wishing for a man that isnt wired to like me but loves every girlfriend I know. Im so happy. Its the only way. Theres no version of a future I see myself being happy in.

I already told my mom and siblings Im not gonna see them again. They thought it was me cutting them off. In a way it is though. Its wrong but I dont wanna be there to watch my nieces get everything growing up when me with my sexuality and less than 1% ethnicity in the country were in have been abused all my life. Im in my late 20s and I havent seen a friend or talked to one in over 7 years now. The political landscape got so bad. Its considered a bad look to be seen around with someone middle-eastern here. Its okay if youre a woman though. These guys will include you in everything and make kids with you they wouldve spat on when they were high-schoolers. Life is a vain game. Im so excited to let go of it. If anyone relates to this - I love you. Goodbye!

I don't have anyone to talk to. Family only contacts when they need money. Everyone around me is fake. Nobody ever contacts me for anything unless I do it first. I want to kill myself and I've been thinking about it for a while. I don't know why. My job is tiring and I don't think it'll effect the work flow if I just didn't come in one day.

I've been trying for so long, but everything seems to be against me, 20 years on this earth and i cant even make a single friend, and every time i meet someone they eventually get bored of me because they already have better people, this loneliness is killing me, just make it stop, even therapy for 2 years didnt help in the slightest, there's nithing else i can do.

I tried to commit suicide 1 and a half year ago and I have suicidal thoughts again. I don't really like my friend, my love for my girlfriend is getting distant. I just feel like I lost interest in people but I can't stand solitude. I am still able to have a good time but I always feel like I am not really there.

I have hopes and dreams but I don't want to fight for them I have difficulty to do anything at all even like showering or brushing my teeth.

I got sexually harassed by my teacher for 2 years before I committed suicide and I still can't recover from the trauma. I over sexualize myself. I even do porn. Wish is really making things harder since I hate my body (mostly because I'm trans)

In general I feel a bit worse everyday school is killing me too. I don't know if I really want help I just needed to express myself.

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Its so tempting to literally just do it, it feels really nice to have the rope but I can’t seem to do the final push, maybe soon . I’m really excited

literally nobody would miss me if I was dead. I'm pretty sure by now that I'm fundamentally dislikeable. literally the only type of person who say nice things about me is the one at the other end of a suicide hotline. I hate existing

I've (30M) been struggling for a couple of years. On the outside, everything says I should have a perfect life. But PTSD fucked my life. I've made an attempt before. I've been through every level of psych care. I've even tried probably over 20 medications. Sure they work for like a month but then I just need more and more.

I'm so tired of the constant cycle. There's something incredibly demoralizing thinking that this time will be different. It's always the same, I get better and then get worse.

I can't even really think of what my life could look like because I'm always suicidal. I try to keep my circle small so that the damage I do to my friends and family some day are minimized.

Why does my fucking brain want me to die. Isn't evolution supposed to have programed the opposite desire?!

I desperately want hope. But fuck, every time I have hope it gets completely squashed. Ending it seems like the only viable long term option.

46 years and I want to go. New job is barely training me, wife doesn’t want intimacy, in tax trouble.

I just want kill me self like in 2 day i return to school and I don’t want I hate school I hate everything I don’t want be on a school and study stupid thing my mentale health it’s winning bcs nobody want me and I am so depressed since 1y

I hate my life

there's no mix of meds or talking that would fix me my soul is broken everything I lay my hand on gets broken everything I try fails wherever I am there's problems I can't take it anymore I genuinely think that my end is just near

i'm a senior in hs and i'm moderately busy as a result of all that i do. i'm a squad leader in my marching band and it has been really difficult as of recently. i'm the only person who actually tries to go above and beyond for our section, and it's really frustrating that no matter what it's all put on me. i am the person who collected shirt-sizes for more than just my section, does attendance every morning without fail, made a dietary form so i could accommodate everyone even though i didn't need to, helping design the shirts because the person who was supposed to isn't doing it, filling in for our instructor who barely shows up, ran out in the pouring rain from fittings to help save sound equipment, took care of MANY people who were going to be sick, provide bandaids and support when i dont have to... and what do i get in return? NOTHING. NOT EVEN A THANK YOU FROM MY FELLOW SQUAD LEADERS WHO SHOULD BE HELPING?

and you wanna know how i'm gonna cope? by throwing MORE stuff on my plate! of course, because i also need to be a treasurer and apply to be an executive for my county council committee, SURE. WHY NOT? if i didn't have to do all this, i would've od'd LONG AGO. but no, of course, i have to paint myself as a hero that despite being bullied all of my life i'm shielding others from such a fate! as if. i should've just given up, nobody actually cares if i go missing one day. they'll move on eventually.

i don't have friends, i'm going to fail all my classes, my mom calls me a failure, i'm worth NOTHING. why do i even try and do all of this? is it even going to make a difference when i'm gone? i just want to fall asleep forever...

i've wanted to die for so long but i am just really scared of my attempt failing, i don't want to survive and be riddled with all of the complications that come with failed attempts, i secretly keep hoping that i'll get into an accident or become terminally ill because i don't want to survive. it makes me feel selfish but i just cannot be bothered with anyone or anything. nobody loves and cares for me the way i do and it breaks my heart. all i am asking for is for someone to care and not brush my feelings and thoughts off or pin it to some irrelevant reason. i just want someone to care about me, but even that feels too much to ask for.

Me and my family have been homeless two months, I want to go inpatient I want help but I can't because I don't have insurance and my mom doesn't want me to go, I want to sleep in a bed. My mom has control of my meds and has been forgetting to get them for me, I dont say a word, the less of them I take the worse I feel, hoping I can get enough courage to kill myself tonight.

14f sitting on my bed with the knife. should I just slit my wrist already and get it over with. im scared I’ll make a noise and my family will wake and find me before im dead. but i also cannot do this anymore

I'll keep this brief, or at least i will try. I'm a 20 year old male who simply is not strong enough to keep living. I frequent university, I'm trying to get a job soon, trying to sort out my driving license and everything, but the truth is that, even if i keep roleplaying a normal life, I'm simply not made for this.

I've lived through immense childhood trauma that has left me deeply dissociated. I don't remember my life. I just don't. I remember the traumatic parts-- or rather, that they happened, and that's it. I had an emotionally incestuous relationship with my mother. When I was 12 or 13, she woke me up one morning to tell me that she was going to kill herself and I had to stop her. I think she sa'd me. When she eventually overdosed on her meds, a few months later, I was the one to call 911 because no one was home. I was raped by my first partner. I developed OCD which went untreated for years and ate away at my sanity. I had psychotic features at some point. These days, all I do is cut, smoke a pack of cigs a day, and drink. I'm not an alcoholic in the full sense of the word but I can't go more than one day without drinking 3-4 beers or else I feel physically sick. And again, I'm dissociated. Even if good things happen to me, I'm not really experiencing them. I haven't felt inside my body for years. More than a decade. My psychiatrist said I have a dissociative disorder but hasn't diagnosed me formally yet.

The point is that I just am not strong enough. I am not fit to live. I am traumatized to the bone and the things I wrote aren't even the beginning of it. Seriously, it's that fucking bad. I'm just not made for this life and I have no chance at a normal life anymore. I can't fucking take it anymore. I don't know how to be a normal person. I can't tell my friends. I can't tell my parents. I can only tell my psychologist who will tell me that if I'm seriously planning my suicide, i need to be hospitalized.

I can't take it anymore. I'm just not made for this life. A person like me has no chances to live.

I get moments where all I want to do is just die, but when I snap out of it I get terrified of dying. I surround myself with toys just to feel any kind of happiness, but I’m constantly stressed inside my own head. I don’t WANT to die, but I feel like I have no choice if I don’t want to be alive miserable with this fake happiness. I feell like I was meant to do nothing except just live on a stupid disability check, all because i cant hold a stupid regular job. My only job is scalping which is hated by everyone but I literally cant afford my fake happiness if I don’t do it, Ive already given up on every single hobby. I can’t enjoy anything unless I’m good at it. Imagine losing 99 times in a video game and the only win yoi get is by a stupid kid who doesn’t know e controls, thats no fun right? The experience is just dreadful. I don’t have and stupid natural talent that could help me. I’m just a miserable person whos only job is scalping and that obviously only buys my fake happiness not paying bills or anything. Why can’t I just find one way to die painlessly?

It's for years (or at least months) away from now and I am confident that it is logical and the right decision for me. I have tried all the options I am willing to try and they haven't helped, and I think this is a logical decision, not one that's a result of depression or mental illness. Maybe this decision will allow me to feel at peace.

i feel the emptiest i’ve ever felt. it’s such a new feeling in the worst way. i wrote on this sub years ago when i was 15 and here i am expressing the same sentiments about sadness and loneliness. i’m growing up and nothing is changing. i’ve tried new things, moved and lived in different places, met new people, tried to make peace with old people, tried therapy, tried medication and after 7 years i can confidently say i’ve felt the worst i have ever. i think if anything goodie has happened it’s that ive become more confident in the shell of a person i am. nothing makes me happy anymore. the things i swore just a year ago that made me happy even if for a bit do nothing to me now. i don’t want to try and i don’t have the energy anymore. there are things i have now that i once prayed for and they make me feel nothing. my few accomplishments i so badly begged for have not sparked anything in me and i don’t think anything ever will again. i pray to God everyday i die quickly in my sleep because im too scared to take myself out just yet. i also self harmed today for the first time again in years. there’s no coming up from this, the hope that comes with youth is gone

I've been going back and forth on whether or not I want to kill myself. I've had several attempts, even one where I had my leg on the railing of a bridge. I'm considering doing it again because when I first tried, an officer told my mom I wouldn't have lived if I had gone through it. The thoughts will get really strong then I'll think it over and over and then calm down. The reason is recently, I've just felt stuck. I was sexually assaulted 4 years ago and I can't stop thinking about it and being angry at him. I keep reminiscing on the past and it drives my friends crazy and I feel like shit about it. No matter what, I'm always talking and thinking about the past, I hate it. I hate talking about it and thinking about it but I can't stop. I'm in a relationship with my first girlfriend and she treats me like she can't stand me, I allow her to treat me like this. She told me she wants me but doesn't need me, there's been a whole bunch of other things. I love her but ever since she started estrogen shes been so mean towards me for no reason sometimes. I've also felt disconnected from people recently. I only really feel safe with venting to like 3 friends and I feel like no one likes me no matter how much they tell me they do, and its not a them thing its a me thing, and the whole thinking about the past thing; I constantly reminisce on the past even when I don't want to and its driving me fucking crazy and so are constantly having mood swings and I don't think I will ever stop cutting myself, because I still see myself doing it years from now.

So my mother passed away 3 months ago she was just 60 years old and now she's gone she meant everything to me we get along so well and she was the only person i left in my life i am so much in pain i want to die everyday and i will do it soon i have nobody left in my life i only have my aunt which she's 70 years old and shes on drugs (antidepressants) all the time I'm waiting for her to pass away to not upset her when she's gone i will do it there is no future for me only darkness and pain..