Hello, I would like to start out by saying I’ve been apart of this Sub for about a low end of 4 months now and have enjoyed my time reading your stories or threads.

I’m 24M and my life has gone from going downhill to just going aimlessly in the middle of nowhere. I still feel a lack of identity and the lack my own presence around others who demand me to preserve their livelihoods (my boss’s and family members). As of right now, I have 3 jobs. DoorDash being my main money maker, FedEx being the job I’m using to fulfill my scholarship requirements/benefits, and dominos pizza, my lower end paying job.

My DoorDash keeps sending me low paying offers, so I only make at most $250 for the whole week with 30 hours of driving.

At dominos, my manager keeps pushing back my manager training and has shown that he’s only willing to work for the people that he likes. My senior shift lead has stepped down and transferred into a driver position WHILE able to keep the same pay (13.75). While another coworker of mine BECAME a shift leader, in 2 weeks increased her pay to $14/hr. I have been for about 5 months as of now and my manager had personally told me that I September, classes for management would be available. Turns out, that was a false positive and he retracted his statements and said he could only do classes in early to mid October. I work the hardest to get more than 11 hours a week at this job. I’m always cleaning, stocking, helping customer, and I’m not rewarded. It all feels pointless.

As of right now, I’m only making about $600-$800 a month. I have nothing means of being able to start other projects such as getting my CNA license active or getting my fitness coach training started because the course I’m looking forward to starting costs $4000. You can see the math isn’t adding up.

Let me explain my situation a bit more thoroughly so you can understand. I’m living with my parents and have never moved out and made a space to call my own. I feel like I failed even though I can fully understand my situation is parallel to a lot of others and I face no judgement towards those who are financially dependent on their family members to prevent themselves from homelessness. I’m barely making ends meet and I want so badly to get my job in the healthcare field while starting & maintaining school (specifically an online BsN program so I can work full-time w/ benefits). Firstly, being a male entering a woman dominated space, I hold no contempt snd hold these women to a high standard for their ability to maintain their dignity, high leadership skills, and self—worth as most are making themselves known for getting lesser pay than their male counterparts. The disrespect I see nurses go through is astounding and to be able to walk into a career field know fully that you’re going to be disregarded, no matter your level of patience, mediation, self degrading behavior they have to face just to face their peers on an equal footing IS MORE THAN ENOUGH for me to respect these people regardless of their background.
Besides the pleasantries, I have the hardest time seeing myself fitting into this space regardless of how much I KNOW I care about helping our community rehabilitate and/or pass on with respect. My ADHD and anxiety have made this journey incredibly difficult but I’m finally getting past the fears of being perceived like a burden and putting that behind me.

Now onto my personal life: my friends and family have been there for me and I love them more than words can speak but I can’t help but notice that when I bring things up that CAN be fixed such as relationship problems, issues with their spiritual connection (my mother is Baptist Christian), finances, or just simple maintenance around the house, I’m put off as someone who just endlessly complains and doesn’t seek to improve upon my own problems first. A vast majority of my days, I go back and forth between my minute interactions and see how I could’ve handled a situation and try to do better for the next day.

My friends: as of now, I have 2 friends who are both women who I regard as the most loving women I know in my life personally, besides my mother. They don’t seem to listen to me and disregard my advice about either their health, (which I never go on, speak without regrading their options FIRST, and rescind their opinions over mine) their relationship issues, or how their careers are moving. I go out of my way to research their fields and see what is the best options from there that they can offer themselves. I’ll call my 1st friend Maya, she has had a multitude of relationship problems as she keeps giving immature, callous, and sexually deviant men chances to converse with her and waste her time. She will ask me of my opinion on what the issue is, I tell her my unadulterated view on how to perceive these men, what to do, and how to deal with them on their own terms (I give her a distinct choice to choose whether or not she should continue the relationship/ conversation) and then she’ll go on to do what she wants to do. THEN, She comes back to me on the 5th or 6th time with the same person I told her to block outright and then sends me quotes from an app where she gets her emotional advice from. I try not to take it personally but more and more often than not she continues to give these mediocre men a chance. I’m getting tired of it and at some point in the future, I’m feeling like I need to give her an ultimatum of some kind because she continues to distinctly ignore my advice and consolation of how much she SHOULD be valuing herself.

My 2nd friend: we’ll call her Kennedy. She disappeared for a while and refused to respond to my messages and calls to hang out or speak. I would continue to worry for her because for the last few months, her health was debilitating and she was dealing with some sexual trauma and I would ask her if I did anything wrong, she would let me know that I didn’t do anything wrong, then she would continue to deliberately ignore me even after I was having some of the most tough stretch of months of now having money or anyone I could converse with. My birthday came around and she notifies me that she has the day off for me to hang out. I send her a list of ideas that she continues to decline, one after another. After a full day of not knowing what to do, trying to accommodate her and not leave her in a situation that would make her uncomfortable, we both finally land on going out to eat at a restaurant that we both could afford to go to. I told her I would take about an hour to get ready, so right around 8:00 or 8:30 PM but I would be there BY 8:30 and have our seats ready by then. She then tells me that she has to get up at 4:00 AM for work. So not only did I ALSO have to get up at the same time for work, I spent the whole day at my house, broke, alone, on the verge of having a mental breakdown. She then goes on to tell me that we’ll hang out soon. 3 and half weeks no text. A month after all of this happens, she tells me she misses me and that we should hang out. I’m angry. I’ve moved on already. I was fine being alone in my own space. She invited herself back into my life and I’m mad that I accepted it because she tells me that she’s sad because a relationship that she was in became extremely one-sided. A RELATIONSHIP BY THE WAY, THAT I TOLD HER ABOUT A MONTH AGO, would not be in her favor because the guy was being deliberately shitty and was using her for sex.

Im tired of being sensitive for the sake of others when the respect of my personhood isn’t returned or acknowledged. I try and try and there’s no benefit between any of these relationships. I keep failing in my personal life and my friends have refused to help me but expect me to be there for them whenever they need me. I’m not expecting a bronze star or a Purple Heart for being a good friend or anything but I’m feeling stretched thin. I have nothing going for myself. I have no girlfriend, no money, no one I ca. trust. I have a feeling things are only going to get harder for me.

I’m very curious what yall listen to. I listen to Nirvana, Aespa, NewJeans, Illit, Jungkook, Alien Stage, and The Neighbourhood :)

I just turned 26 today, and i was hoping if i could get advice from more experienced INFPs.

if you could give advice to yourself at 26, especially as an INFP, what would it be?

It can be about anything > career, relationships, friendships, money, creativity, finding your place in life, dealing with uncertainty and learning to accept yourself.

Another question:

What did you worry about in early or mid twenties that turned out not to matter as much as you thought? And what do you wish you'd taken more seriously?

I'd genuinely appreciate hearing your experiences.

And thanks in advance!💙

p.s: other types are welcome to share advice too ofc! I think we can learn alot from other types as INFPs.

Just wondering as a 38 year old still figuring out his way through life 😶‍🌫️

Can you guys tell me more about this personality?

Have you ever had to deal with them? 🫶

Sometimes everything just feels so boring and predictable. Everyone agrees, everyone gets along, everyone says what they’re supposed to say… and I get bored 😭

So I’ll purposely stir the pot, push people’s buttons, play devil’s advocate, or say something I know will get a reaction just because I wanna see what happens.

It’s not even that I actually care about the argument. I’m just curious and entertained by seeing people drop the polite version of themselves and show their real reactions.

But then when people actually get mad, I’m sitting there like:

“Okay damn... I was just bored.”

Anyone else have this weird ENTP alter ego? 💀

I’ve always dreamed about falling in love with someone and being with them for the rest of my life but unfortunately I have to let that dream go. There are things I can’t give that are considered “essential” in a romantic relationship.

Hello everyone! I wanted to talk about how I can be a leader in group projects sometimes!

So, when I'm feeling comfortable with a group, my Te appears naturally, and I can lead and organise the group.

But it's only sometimes, it depends a lot of things:

Who am I working with: If there is a Te dom or Auxiliary in the group, probably I won't be leading

If I'm comfortable with the group, and can be myself

And it's not a rigid Te, it's my Te cooperating with my Fi, for example: Instead of doing the things my way, I ask everyone opinions in one thing, keeping everyone calm, and mediating the discussions, using democracy and trying to put everyone ideas into the work and trying to include everyone.

It's pretty cool when that happens, but it's very rare. What do you think about this?

Their owner passed away. They are good kitties but a bit traumatized.

Perhaps it’s that as an introvert you meet less people, and so you’re less desensitized to the emotions that come with meeting/losing people. Or perhaps it’s this ability to imagine a whole lifetime that will never occur, within the blink of an eye, so you’re able to feel like you’ve lost something that you never even had.

But I feel that most people don’t really comprehend just how existentially serious every meeting is. Even when it’s the most minute of exchanges, two people glancing at each other for a brief second as they pass one another.

That alone is enough for that person to live on in your mind forever. Thoughts of what might have been, what you should’ve said or done. You might not even realize it in the moment, but it’s sort of like when you accidentally hit a pimple that you didn’t know was there, once the person does come to mind, then you find yourself realizing through the sting of it, what they really meant to you.

You can look in a persons eyes and feel the weight the presence of their soul places upon yours.

Picture a bowling ball being placed on a pillow. It slowly returns back to its former shape once the weight is removed, and although the indentation is no longer perceivable, the imprint remains in the heart forever.

It’s ironic. When you realize how complex every soul is, and assign it its real value. On the one hand you might desire to give every soul its due. And yet the pain of losing something so great is even more crippling.

I am not 😄

Idk just want to have conversations

I feel like people around me demonize me just because I’m quiet and not extroverted. A lot of people that I meet say that I think I’m “better” than everyone else, why ? Just because I’m shy and I don’t really try to make friends. And I can swear on my life that I’ve never done anything bad to anyone intentionally and if I do something that hurts other people I apologize a thousand times. I don’t get into gossip, fights or anything of that sort but I’m the problem just because I don’t talk much…

Hello, everyone.

When I woke up today, a song was playing in my mind, a song I’ve heard and listened to since childhood. It’s a song my mother used to hum when I was little. Its title is "Seviyorum Seni" (Loving You) by Onur Akın.

The song is in Turkish, and unfortunately, I couldn't find a version with English subtitles. The opening part of the song features a poem by Nâzım Hikmet. That is why I read the poem over and over today and wanted to share it, a poem that has grown up alongside me, with all of you wonderful people. I have never been in love, yet this short poem conveys so much.

I entrust this poem to your hearts. I hope you love it as much as I do.

I’m 28F, and my boyfriend is 28M. We’re both INFPs and in a long-distance relationship. I live in Asia, while he lives in Europe. For the most part, we were a very happy and loving couple. Things were okay until I discovered that he still had a connection with his ex. When I asked him about it, he explained that the only reason they were still in contact was because his ex had borrowed a game from him and hadn’t returned it yet. I told him honestly that I was uncomfortable with them still being connected, and I asked if he could unfriend her.

I even offered to buy him the same game because it was available where I live, so he wouldn’t have to maintain contact with his ex just to get it back.
He became very upset and told me that one of his principles is that when you borrow something from someone, you should return it. I understood his point, and I didn’t want to disrespect his principles, but at the same time, my discomfort was genuine. Eventually, after several arguments, he agreed to unfriend her.
Things went back to normal afterward, but honestly, I feel like something changed between us.
Little by little, he started opening up to me about his mental struggles. He told me that opening up to people is extremely difficult for him and that he sometimes feels like he’s in a very dark place. There was one point when he stopped talking to me for three days. Eventually, he apologized and told me that he would try to be better for me. I tried to understand because I knew he was struggling.

But now it has happened again.
He told me that he is in a very dark place, and he hasn’t talked to me for more than a week. I’ve tried reaching out. I’ve been patient. I’ve tried to give him space because I know he is struggling. But at this point, I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. I feel like I’ve been ghosted. And I’m struggling because I really love him. I’ve tried so hard to be patient and understanding with him. I’ve tried to make space for his struggles and never wanted him to feel like he had to be okay all the time just to be loved by me.

I don’t know if I’m looking for advice, reassurance, or maybe I just need somewhere to let this out. I genuinely don’t know what I need to hear right now.
I just feel incredibly hurt.

If you also share a birthday with me, I wanna wish you a happy one !!!

Im curious if theres a link between mbti and iq.
Basically are F dominant more likely to be (sub)avg IQ, while Ts reign in 120+.

Just an idea, where do you stand?