I feel like a pathetic failure that doesn’t want to work. There’s like no options for me, especially with how severe my social anxiety is. Even the supposed “easy” jobs for social anxiety sound too hard. I wouldn’t be able to do them. I’d rather die than be so intensely uncomfortable and anxious.

I can’t even do most basic fucking things. I don’t know how to talk to people. I freeze every time I have to talk to someone, looking like a deer in headlights, and unable to respond. My brain goes blank. I’d be too slow to understand what to do at work. And I’d be uncomfortable every fucking day. It doesn’t get easier. Telling me to “just do it while uncomfortable“ doesn‘t help.

I’ve been like this for too long and feel like I’m just fucked no matter what. I‘m too mentally ill and broken for this world. I can’t handle it. I can‘t handle being around people. I’m scared suicide will be my only option, if I’m ever able to actually do it.

I hate myself more than anything. I’m not meant for this world.

got a job recently. i know i have social anxiety, but i can atleast pretend (or so i thought) to act as a normal person would; it’s a somewhat social job. i’m a month in and my manager pulled me aside to basically tell me that im good at the job, but im not enthusiastic enough. i smile everytime i see someone and fake laugh more times than i can count in a day and listen intently. i make eye contact constantly, and then she says i’m not doing either one of those things (despite the fact that shes not even in my general vicinity for more than a total of 5 minutes in a full day shift??) .apparently i “seem like i just dont want to be here”. it’s frustrating because i really am trying my best to be social, but its just not enough apparently. i dont need the job at all, but it just internally pisses me off knowing that i might get fired or looked down upon for something that im trying so hard on, and i’ve honestly been busting
my ass for the last 3 years to catch up socially. is it crazy if i just quit?

i just wanted to know if anyone has experience a similar thing or has any advice on what i can do?🫩🫩

+ im getting paid boarder line minimum fucking wage to do all of this by the way😭😭

Sometimes I get people talking to me on here trying to be friends and I usually accept it but I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I never feel a need to talk to them unless they start it. I’m just it really sure what to say anyway. I don’t how people become friends online but I see it on discord and stuff but it doesn’t make sense to me.

Has anyone been through such situation

Does anyone else's default expression look like an 1000 yard stare / spaced out?

Its a combination of stress, exhaustion, being overworked / doing too much, and not getting too much sleep, as well as too much staring at a screen all day. It gives me an intense expression, which makes me look like I'm about to be smacked in the face with a football or spaced out / on something.

I told my friend the other day I didn't want to finish up his food, but I kept spacing out and staring at it, which made me look very intent on it, so he asked if I wanted it again.

Not the most important interaction, but you can see why this is bad if someone asks if you're okay, you say you are, but you look like you just have witnessed a car accident or something.

I feel like my expression is more natural and warm with some good sleep, eyedrops, massaging my eyes, being healthy / hydrated, and also taking some time to do breathing exercisesbefore I go somewhere, whether it be to the bathroom, on a walk, or whatever alot, do alot of side hustles

Idk I feel like us with trauma and ptsd tend to do this because its already exhausting to balance work with everything else, so the emotional regulation of facial expressions and body language is hard

I stood there for a solid minute until one of the employees pointed it out to me. I'm like a boomer.

Kill me.

​

My therapist suggested for me to make friends I should practice looking at peoples hair or around their head to make it look like I'm giving eye contact. I also need to smile more.

I want friends this year, school is starting in like a few days. Does anyone have any more advice or tips in how I can be good before school starts. I'm really scared

I just wanted to make this post to let anyone here struggling with social anxiety that it can get better. Ive struggled with it for as long as i remember, and used to have panic attacks at the idea of talking to even my immediate family, but now, even if its still a bit scary, i can talk to so many people and feel good about it. If you are trying to get better, trying to help yourself, keep trying. Put yourself out there, experience the good social situations, and the bad. It can get better.

Its already past 5, he's probably gone home. I'm freaking out, i dont know if i should call back or text or do nothing? What do i do?

Hi, I am 15F. This morning I was getting ready for school. I have body dismorphia, and immediatly saw something wasnt right on my face and felt horrible about going to school. School causes a ton of anxiety for me, as I have been bullied often as a kid and pre teen, so I is a very stressful environment. My school has around 2000 people so it is extremely anxiety inducing for me. My parents know about my diagnosed high depression and social anxiety, but I feel they just don't care.

I started having a bit of a meltdown and quite a bit of panic attacks after realizing I don't look okay and I really, really don't want to go to school at this point, feeling shameful about myself. Then my dad started yelling, telling me he wished I was just normal, and my mum was telling me how silly my anxiety around people and my appearance is. I feel really terrible, because I didnt want to ruin their day (I hate dissappointing people and being the centre of attention). My dad went on a walk, my mum is not really speaking to me, and I am freaking out. Its not like I want to miss school, I just dont have any courage.

I came to reddit to ask if they are in the wrong, or just rightfully worrying about me. This was the first place I decided to come for help.

Hey, everyone. I just started a new job, and I’m a bit worried I won't be able to keep it because I don't talk to anyone and am extremely isolated within the team. My question is: how do you handle yourselves at work? How do you manage to socialize when you have to?
I work in the legal field and need to connect with my colleagues, but I feel terrible when I’m called out or corrected—and that happens a lot. I’ve never really fit in at any of the places I’ve worked. I’m struggling with this, and I’m afraid of losing my job—and my boyfriend, too—because who would date someone who can’t work... I’m so afraid of losing everything

I have social anxiety for plenty of reasons but the main one is probably due to my autism. But I'm curious if there are people who seem to just have it for no reason? Like no childhood trauma, no neurological conditions, you just have it.

Im currently in probably the worst mental health situation ive ever been. Social interactions completely annihilate me these days.

I went to a support group thing tonight. I have been very isolated recently and finally went to this thing its on every month.

So at the start it split into groups of 4. I can just sense people talking to each other and not making an effort to speak to me the way they did for each other (well thats how it felt anyway).

Then it came back to the main group and everyone had a turn to contribute something to the conversation. I just felt so overwhelmed and probably looked anxious. I felt the facilitator looked a bit uncomfortable after I was done speaking. It just felt like everyone else seemed more relaxed and were able to speak a good while.

Then I made an effort to just be polite and speak briefly to a woman sitting beside me at the end. She quickly said it was nice to meet u and wrapped it up (not that I wanted a long conversation but just a feeling of struggling more then most and feeling such a disconnect - and a feeling of consistent dismissal and a lack of confidence has destroyed my self esteem and my self image.

Its not just big one off things , its often just a compounding of small things and even the small interactions feel more destructive these days...at least i tried and went to that things anyway.

so somehow caffeine has an opposite effect on me. It gets me relaxed and chill and not alert at all or sometimes no effects at all. Interesting right? but that’s not what I precisely want to share here.
cause most of the time caffeine is like water for me.

However, when I am sleepy I get my confidence level literally among the stars, I wonder why my confidence level increases, I am naturally an agreeable person people pleaser and my self esteem is in the abyss. But somehow being sleepy makes me super confident and ready to confront.

Any body else can relate to that or I wonder if there is any scientific floor for what I feel.

I was clinically diagnosed with SAD at 15 years old in 2007. In my teens, my SA was so bad I would run and hide in my own home when someone would knock at the door. After years of therapy, it has gotten better but I’ll likely deal with this for the rest of my life.

I’m 34 now and met my now husband on Reddit back in 2017. We dated long distance for about 6 months, then I flew to meet him in person. A year later, we moved in together and we’ve been married for 6 years now. From time to time, I have my moments and my husband has to step up for me socially. For example, I may struggle to order food when out at dinner so my husband will take the lead. On the other hand, I try to actively place myself in uncomfortable social situations as a form of self cognitive behavioral therapy since I no longer see my therapist.

How has it been for you being married with SA?

Has anyone gotten accommodations for their anxiety when flying? What was the process like for you, and did it actually help or make it more stressful?
Anything you do personally to make it more manageable?

I have a flight in 12 days (over 14 hours of travel - 2 connections) and suffer from severe SA and Selective mutism (anxiety disorder with a paralytic response). I usually water fast for the 14 hours so I don’t have to use the bathroom for the longer flight. But this, and many other challenges has made longer flights traumatic for me as being anxious for 14 hours straight is miserable. Been thinking about getting accommodation like early boarding as this would lessen one huge anxiety but I have no clue what this process would be like. Also if anyone else who struggles with flying has personal tips it would be greatly appreciated! : )

So graduated 4 years ago from my degree and the reason why I haven’t been working was because I took a break because my mental health was very bad at that time, and then I also had some health problems and couldn’t work. A couple days ago i started looking and applying for jobs, i sent my resume to a insurance company and the girl told me today the boss was going to call me and HE DID and I’m so nervous and i still haven’t answered the call. They left a message on my voicemail saying they called me for a job interview and told me to call them back if I was still interested WHAT DO I DO this is my first time applying for a job and i have no experience

So after nearly 3 decades of crippling SA I finally got on anti-anxiety medication ( 20mg lexapro, 40mg propranolol, and 20mg hydroxyzine as needed, plus 600mg gabapentin daily) and I literally don’t have any physical effects of anxiety anymore. My mind is calm and my nerves even calmer.

But I’m still just as socially awkward because after a lifetime of not honing social skills and confident speaking, I simply don’t have them. I still stare at people like a deer in headlights when they say something that doesn’t allow me to choose one of my preselected dialogue options.

I flail and flop like a fish out of water trying to tell stories or contribute in conversation with any type of charisma or humor. I still get awkward silences and pauses after I speak in group conversations, and the feeling of “one of these is not like the other” shared by everyone in the group.

But you know what? I don’t find myself shaking and filled with murderous rage at myself and guilt whenever I fall short of social norms. I don’t shy from conversation or confrontation the way I used to. Yesterday I got yelled at by a fast food worker for asking for a receipt and I just stood there, holding firm until someone eventually printed my receipt. Usually I would be embarrassed or feel the need to defend myself to prove I wasn’t an awkward weak person, but I just didn’t care to do that.

All this to say, I wish I came across a little better in social situations but after a lifetime of having nauseating anxiety about them, I’ll settle for just participating and accepting my awkwardness. There is strength in that too.

I want to be careful with this because I know these posts can feel like bragging when you're in the thick of it. Not my intent at all. I'm posting because a few years ago I really needed to read something like this.

I've dealt with stage fright and anxiety about being perceived for most of my life. Racing heart, blanking out, sweating, all of it. I built a lot of my life around avoiding being looked at and I didn't even realize I was doing it.

This month I had to give a speech at an event. Few hundred people in the room plus a big livestream. I dreaded it for weeks. The day of I was a mess, out of breath, rehearsing one single sentence over and over because I was convinced I'd blank.

Here's what I want you to know. The anxiety did not go away. I did it anyway. And it went fine. Better than fine actually. Nobody saw a fool, nobody laughed, the disaster my brain had been playing on repeat for weeks just never happened.

I'm not cured. I'll be nervous the next time too. But now I have proof my anxiety is a bad predictor, and every piece of proof I collect makes its voice a little quieter.

Small steps count. Mine started years ago with just forcing myself to answer one question in class. Be kind to yourself.

I'm turning 20 in November and I'll be in my second year of college this year. My parents are funding me but I feel bad and want to get a job.

I am absolutely terrified of interacting with the staff or costumers. I'm afraid of messing up. I'm afraid of getting yelled at.

This all stems from high school. I went to medical high school (it's a thing here) and when I was doing my internship in a hospital during junior and senior year I was crying every day. I would hide in the bathroom sometimes and cry myself to sleep the night before. The doctors and nurses were so mean and dehumanising to me.

I really need some advice because this is something I'll have to do for the next 40 years. I just want to get over this trauma and the fear that everyone is out to yell at me and ruin my day.

Can anyone else relate. The trauma from mistreatment overrode my original trauma. Iatrogenic harm

For context - im in high school and id say i have pretty good reputation by being on good terms with pretty much most ppl with kindness and all. I did make friends and have few people that Im comfortable with sharing personal stuffs as they have helped me and comforted me when im feeling down. But I started realising how its very difficult for me to talk to them like how they talk to their other friends. Im like the kind of person who only speaks around 3/4 sentences in the whole of conversation. Whenever i share my personal stuffs they usually seem to feel out of any responses. Im also extremely bad at responses. Its a very odd and weird situation im facing because i dont know how to become close to someone and how to talk. I have seen people talk even during boring times and somehow always find something to talk about which seems very inhumane to me as im not sure how one can do that. I think i do speak in a weird way as I know that my friends will help me when i need them and i know they care for me but theyd rather not hangout with me due to me being boring and lacking social skills and could also be my lack of accent as i havent mastered the language that people speak in here. Im extremely exhausted by this situation that has been going for many time as i really want to hangout with my friends and make them feel happy and have fun while Im around them by talking and joking about things. The problem could also be that I haven’t found a person that is very similar to me of interests and all but I have seen my friends talking to strangers so easily which I really want to learn. The problems i face sometimes is feeling of oversharing and sometimes i lack reaction and responses which might be one of the reasons my friends don’t share their things to me by themselves and I have to ask them about it by myself. I want to have them tell their things and share their stuffs by themselves like how they usually do to their friends. I feel very stuck being likeable but not fun to be around person.

When i was 16 years old, I had two girls who lived in an apartment next to ours. They were sisters and they were friends with my family. They used to visit our apartment all the time but I was never able to talk to this?

I was never able to have a conversation with them. They were our neighbors for two years and i don't remember talking to them at all in those two years. I found a way to reach out to them online and we used to talk online sometimes but I was never able to talk to them in person.

Not only that, i would barely speak to anyone else in their presence.

So I love talking to people, I have no problem making my voice loud, joking, stuff like that.

My social anxiety appears very suddenly, I will at one point become completely paralysed by fear and stop talking or moving; most of the times it happens when I'm about to go talk to some people, or when I'm about to go outside.

But most of the time I'm okay, look completely okay, and the main problem is massive overthinking when I'm alone.

Are there people like me and how do you deal with it ?

I've done CBT but it felt too much like self-gaslighting