Good morning, everybody, Hope you are all well.

I thought I would make a wee video to explain to you guys my journey that brought me to Christianity, and opening my heart to our Lord Jesus Christ.

Now I am taking my journey to the next stage, which is me getting Baptised, and letting God know that I have now given him my heart 100%.

I apologise in advance for the camera confidence, I’ve never spoken into a camera before, but I’m sharing this with Christians, and I know we don’t judge haha.

@hideeby_art on TikTok

Song: Would you fall in love with me again?
Epic the musical the Ithaca saga.

I saw this video and a tug something deep in my soul. It made me think of Jesus, tending to the lost sheep, returning the stray lambs to his flock and his unconditional love.

No artificial light, the sun makes the church look like this!

I’m struggling to type this as I just got off the phone after having a very difficult phone call with my pastor.

For context, I am a regular visitor at an SDA church and I am not yet baptised. I’ve been attending for several years now. I don’t really talk with my pastor much; the most interaction I’ve had is a handshake and a “how are you?”
The last time my pastor called me was regarding complaints he was receiving from church members about me singing in the choir without being baptised. It was this whole issue that people were bringing up, and the pastor was expressing the pressure he was getting from it.

Fast forward now six months later, and he calls me out of the blue.

The conversation starts with me expressing my findings from researching Bible history, the issues I was having, as well as my exploration into the Orthodox Church and, overall, just trying to find the right spiritual path. That went on for a bit until the topic which I feel he really called for came up.

He suddenly got a bit more serious and said,

“Off topic, I wanted to ask… you dress very feminine, I mean, and just present a lot like a woman. I wanted to ask what that’s about because I sense identity issues in you.”

Very respectful, very mindful, so I told him candidly about my experiences growing up feminine and gay, how I struggled to accept that I can be a man and feminine, and that I don’t necessarily have to be a woman to be socially accepted.

He responded by asking if it was a choice, the way I present. Idk, it was weird the way he delivered it, but basically he was asking if I felt it was a choice between being feminine and masculine.

And I replied by saying, when I am feminine, I am choosing not to “pretend” to be something else like I was raised to. I’m just existing, and how that presents is feminine. When I feel safe, my guard comes down and those characteristics come out.

Anyway, he went on to ask if I’ve ever acted on it, being gay that is. And I said I was in a committed relationship only once, which I left to follow God.

I expressed how this was truly the most difficult part of my journey, where I had to leave someone I truly loved and cared for because I had a feeling that it was what God wanted. So my entry into the church, when they first met me, was during a very dark period in my life. I was grieving, essentially, but couldn’t tell anybody.

He moved on with no comment and then asked if I was the woman or the man in the relationship. I said I was a man with a man. I was feminine; he was masculine. But again, that was my only relationship.

He then nervously inserted that he wasn’t certain of these things because he thought it was always a woman and a man role-playing in these types of relationships.
I told him that in some relationships that’s true; in others, both may be masculine or both might be feminine.

He then asked if a man approached me now, would I date that man?
I said no, because what led me out of my original relationship was that I felt like it wasn’t where God wanted me. I felt a deep ick, like it was wrong.

Then he asked if I would ever marry a woman.
I said no, because I will always be upfront and honest about who I am, so part of the journey I’ve struggled with is entertaining the possibility of being alone for life.
I think back at how casually I said that, but sitting with it now… wow. That’s actually a really heavy statement…
But I’m so used to it being a topic of debate in the Christian sphere that I didn’t allow myself to process that for too long. Like before, he paused, and then he moved on to the next question.

What followed was more poking and prodding around my identity, how I feel about how I dress, and it basically making people uncomfortable. God, I can’t even type without crying. This is so dumb.

Okay, anyway, so he asked me how I feel about that because he’s apparently been getting a seaaaa of complaints from people concerned about me being in the choir, me showing up looking feminine, and people mistaking me for a woman.

Mind you, what I wear isn’t a dress or anything. At most, it’s black, slightly heeled boots and baggy, high-waisted trousers with random button-ups. I’ll also occasionally wear really baggy shirts with baggy pants, so I look more, I guess, neutral?

But anyway, he was saying people were complaining from both the branch churches I visit during the day.

He was saying that he was only able to put people’s minds at ease when he told them that there was a process of me growing closer to Christ, which is why he allows me to sing in the choir.

But people are observing me looking more feminine than before, and so it looks as though I’m slipping backwards. He starting pointing out the heels, the trousers when the “feminine bangle” I wear on my wrist which is a basic silver wrist band gifted by my dad who isn’t even in the same country as me, so it all felt like knit picks but I understood his point and I felt convicted to revaluate how I’m presenting, perhaps I did get too comfortable.
Mind you, as I’m listening to this, I’m wondering why no one just came directly to me?
I guess that’s a lot of pressure, fear of saying the wrong thing, idk.

He then asks me,

“When people call you miss instead of sir, how does that make you feel?”

I then outlined that I don’t feel offended because I’m not attached to being perceived as masculine. I’m not walking around macho macho and getting offended if someone calls me a girl. Like, I already present feminine, so it’s not an attack on me at all.

I simply correct them and move on.

He paused, looking slightly off-camera in contemplation, then moved on…

He then asked me what I identify as, a man or a woman?
And I just said there have been times I felt it would be more natural to be a woman, as it wouldn’t feel like a constant resistance to fit a mould of what a man should be, which always just felt performative to me when I tried to align with it all my life.

I said I am only just learning to accept myself as a feminine man and to feel comfortable in my skin. I don’t want to pretend or be the opposite of genuine.

There was more back and forth regarding this, where I just asserted that when I first came to church, I was guarded and didn’t relax and just exist, so I performed a bit.
But the longer I was there, the safer I felt. I grew a family-type bond with people in this church, so I let go a bit.
He nodded to that and then said:

“But you do understand that your inward spiritual growth should manifest on the outside, and there are certain presentations that men are guided to present as in the SDA church, so you have to understand it’s a lot of pressure from me when you are performing on stage or in roles where many people can see you and you are dressed feminine. Like I said, there are many people from both churches bombarding me asking me so many questions including…”

(He names people I associate with through the choir and other roles in the church.)

I told him I suspected people were talking about me, as I’ve gotten some hostile treatment. One man blatantly asked me if I was gay in front of church members to get a reaction out of me, and I responded with “yes,” hesitantly, but I did not want to lie anymore.
And I told this pastor this, as well as other times where people would subtly question why my hair was so long, or look at me funny…
It’s insidious, the way this has all built up I was beginning to realise as the pastor even let it slipped that people suspected me when I fist attended a few years back but now it’s less subtle the way I act and present.

He then told me:

“What would you say if I said you couldn’t be in certain spaces like choir etc. until there was evidence of a change from you? What would you say?”

And I just said plainly:

“From day one, when you let me into the choir I was grateful to be there. I had some understanding that positions like that were typically something members partake in, so through every performance, every event we attended and sang together as a choir, every choir practice in the evenings when I’d come back exhausted from work but somehow feel energised after singing, singing was my first love and now I got to direct it to God and with other believers, through all of that I treated it like my last moment, as I knew it was a gift from the start.
So if you did say that, I would completely understand, and I’ve already prepared my heart for that circumstance.”

He concluded and said he would need to speak with elders and so forth, and then prayed with me, praying that I’m guided to the right path and guided to fulfil the identity of who God created me to be.

The last question he asked was if I was okay with him discussing this with his elders to reach an informed decision.

I told him straight up that I’m not hiding who I am, and I’m perfectly okay with him saying whatever he wants from our conversation. I’ve worked hard on acknowledging that this is a part of my story, and I wear it on me with pride.
Throughout this whole call, I put on my usual self: calm, very warm and smiley, right up until he hung up.

Now I’m writing this down so I can reflect on it with clarity later, but at the moment there are just deeply sickening feelings swirling in my chest. Like emotion wants to bubble up, but I don’t understand it. I can’t begin to understand how I’m feeling right now.

How am I supposed to show up to church now knowing what I know?
Knowing everyone’s observing me like a hawk…

I’m exhausted mentally and still haven’t processed what this means moving forwards.
I was already in a bad mental state before the call, but now I have to come to terms with my entire world possibly crumbling apart, as my church is a large part of my social life as well as the job I work at.

Thanks to those who read through this.
I don’t expect many to. This is mainly for my own documentation, per usual on this account, to look back on.

But any insight is welcome, of course.
Take care and blessings to you all.

TL;DR: My pastor unexpectedly called me and asked about my femininity, sexuality, gender presentation and relationships. I was completely honest with him about being gay and my past relationship with a man, which I left because I believed God wanted me to. He then told me he’s been receiving a lot of complaints from members about me looking feminine and being involved in visible church roles like the choir. I explained that I actually became more feminine because I felt safe enough at church to stop performing masculinity. He’s now taking the matter to the elders to decide what happens next, and I’m sitting here wondering how the hell I’m supposed to walk back into church knowing everyone is apparently watching me.

Edit: I am reading through all your comments so don’t take my silence as me ignoring you. I’m just still in a weird emotional state right now and genuinely feel sick. It took a lot out me the conversation alone but also typing this out as accurately as possible as I knew it would be integral to look back on least I ever try to forget it.
Thank you all for your insight and support, I truly appreciate it. Hopefully I can respond to you all when I’m in a better headspace.

I am a 64yr old man who for his whole life has believed in science rather than religion.

I have developed a feeling of wanting to go to church services, would I be welcomed and what could I gain?

I write this as a woman who struggled with porn, who was in an abusive "Christian" relationship and told to stay and be holy and help him. My relationship with God has not been the same since. I have PTSD due to several different Christians who have harmed me. Groomed to endure abuse. I

I was a loving forgiving person and this was used against me. I forgive, now but my heart is partially shut down after 5 years of religious abuse/ relational abuse/mistreatment.

The things men in the church get away with (repeated sexual sin) women are shunned for. When women have issues in the church I see us doing all sorts of inner healing, therapy etc whatever is needed. A man I'm dating said he struggled with masturbation addiction before we met, has he gone to therapy or a group? No. A woman with a sex addiction she's not working on would be kicked out of church immediately and seen as not marriage material by most.

Reddit is full of women crying over their men who will touch themselves but not their wives... I'm so angry now if this every happened to me I would divorce or also find pleasure elsewhere. This isn't healthy but neither is spending years in self hatred due to your spouse's sin (an enabling it).

I now fear the presence of God as I used his presence to keep me sane and pray for my abuser.

I have constantly asked for the gift of singleness and reduced sex drive, and it hasn't happened.

TLDR; please pray for me as repeated abuse has cause me to fear the presence of God, and not trust men

During the Nakba, 2/3 of Jerusalem's Christians were expelled from their homes by Israeli forces and forced to flee to Bethlehem and surrounding Christian communities. Families from neighborhoods such as Katamon, Talbiya and the German Colony lost their homes and property, contributing to the displacement and long-term decline of Jerusalem’s historic Christian population

She's on a ventilator. She had liver failure or something and she needs prayers.

I made a new sub for Catholic women to discuss hot-button topics, news/popular culture, women’s health, and all things Catholicism. This is a safe place to discuss particularly divisive issues, and my goal is to keep the sub politically neutral. We of course expect users to speak to each other with respect and charity, and above all else, remember that they are followers of Jesus Christ. You can join at r/magnificat

Christians of all denominations are of course welcome! But do remember that it is a dominantly Catholic sub, so uncharitable comments towards the Catholic faith will be removed. But we encourage discussion and questions about the faith!

I am a mom to three littles, so I don’t have a lot of time to be on here moderating. If you’re interested in helping me manage the new sub, shoot me a message!

Thanks and God Bless!

Hello, just saw this church while church Hunting, not rlly an Christian yet, although I did started reading parts of the bible, I am pretty aware of how churches are culturally divided nowadays and I’m not sure if there is any red flags since I’m too lazy to do so, and that I’m basically a teen who just heads off to high school, any thoughts or some advice? Thanks.

I was raised Baptist but I’m considering becoming Catholic. That being said, I’m starting to feel like there’s too much emphasis on “being saved”. Saved from what exactly? Hell? I feel like that’s not the point. Why is that the focus? I mean yeah that’d be nice but I feel like that’s just an entrance ticket to heaven. Why do you want to be in heaven? Just because it’s not hell? Isn’t the whole thing supposed to be about a relationship with Jesus/God? People can’t go to church for an hour yet want to be with Jesus forever? I’ve just been raised with this “are you saved” over and over again. I feel like that’s missing something. I guess that’s why I’m drawn to Catholicism? I’m falling away from this idea of OSAS too. We can’t just say the sinners prayer and go do whatever we want. John 3:16, to believe has to mean more than just saying “yes he’s real and he died for my sins” belief has to equal actions. Am I way off here? We are absolutely saved by grace but our lives have to reflect that, no?

So I used to be a Mormon, and what made me leave was doing a deep dive into my own church’s history. For most of my time in the Church, I only knew the whitewashed, sanitized, faith-promoting version taught in Sunday School. So now imagine how shocked I am.

I genuinely had no idea how troubled and disturbing so much of the Mormon Church’s history was. The more I learn, the more I’m sitting here thinking, what the actual F?

Polygamy, polyandry, abuse, sexual abuse, child abuse, cover-ups, dishonesty, racism, deception, violence, murder of innocent people, and LGBTQ people being harmed, all while the Church preaches integrity, virtue, honesty, and moral righteousness from the pulpit.

It honestly makes me unable to stomach believing anymore.

is Christianity’s history like this too? 

I was sexually assaulted multiple times from the ages of 8-12. The offender was removed from my life and then reintroduced where I was assaulted again.

Now the offender was only a few years older than me and related. I’m struggling because family members are saying he’s changed a lot. His relationship with the Lord and his new wife has changed. He’s not the same person that he was years ago.

Now I know people can change. And I thought I had worked through everything and was ready to be around him again. But I just blew up at his wife and after a talk with my parents, I realized that I’m holding onto a lot of anger, resentment, and hurt.

I’ve done plenty of therapy. But I keep getting told I need to give it to God because this guy is still controlling a big part of my life without even being present.

I’m just not sure where to start.

My husband grew up in a very religious family.

I am a scientist and have a stubborn "evidence based" nerd argument for everything.

I am consistently researching about the bible and god, and my husband tells me that there is evidence for certain things, but I find it so hard to believe.

I believe it is a way for humans to cope with life and the inevitable and unexplainable death that we all face, because the thought of nothing existing is a really hard concept for us humans to grasp, so therefore believing that we will go to a "better place" is a far nicer thought than just nothingness.

What would you, a believer, say to someone like me who has this view. I am super happy for believers to prove me wrong or show me something I might be misunderstanding in regards to Christianity.

On a side note, sometimes I feel drawn to going to church, and I can't explain this feeling. I don't know why. Nor do I understand why I like to research about "Is god real". Maybe this means something more.

Yeah. I've been uncloseted for a few years now and am trying to get closer with God kind of recently. I am well aware that the Bible says that having sex with another man is a sin. To add on, I also have a heavy preference towards other guys.

My two closest friends are both Christian as well, one much more than the other. One of them says it's just like any other sin and that it is likely it will happen at some point and we should ask for forgiveness if and when it happens. The other has kind of refrained from commenting, which is part of the reason I write this.

I don't want to ignore the word of God, but I don't know what other choice I have other than abstinence. Help? Sorry if I sound stupid, I'm kind of new to Christianity

I’m currently a practicing catechumen in the Roman Catholic Church. I’m also an undergraduate studying philosophy, and I study law as well in preparation for several exams. (I don’t live in the United States, for context.)

I’ve spent quite a lot of time studying Catholic theology—or Christian theology more generally—as well as philosophy of religion. Despite that, I still can’t accept the Catholic approach to same-sex marriage when it is defended through natural-law reasoning.
I’ve read a number of arguments against same-sex marriage based on broadly Aristotelian-Thomistic ideas, especially arguments concerning telos, human nature, and the proper ends of marriage. But almost every argument I’ve encountered seems vulnerable to fairly straightforward objections. I’m not saying that the Church should change its teaching on sacramental marriage. I fully understand why, within Catholic theology, marriage is understood as a union between a man and a woman.

What I struggle with is the further claim that this understanding should determine the civil law of a secular state.

The theological argument makes sense to me on its own terms because it ultimately begins from divine revelation and the authority of the Church. But when the same conclusion is presented as something that can supposedly be established by natural reason alone, I find the reasoning much less convincing. Many of the arguments seem to rely on specifically Catholic or Aristotelian-Thomistic assumptions about nature, teleology, sexuality, and the purpose of marriage. If someone does not already accept those premises, I’m not sure the conclusion follows.

In other words, I can accept the Church’s sacramental definition of marriage while still being unconvinced that there is a sufficiently strong philosophical argument for imposing that definition through secular civil law.

I’m genuinely interested in hearing the strongest natural-law argument for the Catholic position, especially one that does not simply presuppose the very teleological framework that is under dispute.

tldr

I fully accept the Catholic teaching that sacramental marriage is between a man and a woman.

I am much less convinced that secular civil law must adopt the same definition.

The natural-law arguments I have encountered often seem arbitrary or question-begging because they rely on philosophical premises that the opposing side does not already accept.

maybe some book recommendations would be helpful.

btw, I wrote this post in English (not my first language) and used AI to fix grammar error and making it sound more natural.

Hey everyone I am searching for bible verses to read in sexual assault . What bible says about sexual violence.how to deal with such situations as a victim?

I posted a couple of days ago wondering if I’d ever find a place where I could grow spiritually in a group associated with a holy order. After a bunch of emails waiting and prayer, I received an email from the Sisters at St Scholastica Monastery in Kansas though I live in North Carolina. They said they could help me out with the distance between us. I’m so excited to begin my inquiry journey with them their courses start next year during Lent but knowing this is a delicate process of discerning I am by no means discouraged and I’m hoping we will remain in contact.

So in other words I’m on the way to becoming a Benedictine Oblate. 😊✝️🇻🇦🙏

Please keep my intentions in your prayers my dear brothers and sisters in Christ. May the peace of Christ be with you all.