For this post whataboutism is defined as deflecting an issue by raising a different issue or accusing the other person of hypocrisy, and straw manning is defined as mishandling an opponent's argument by distorting, exaggerating, or oversimplifying it to make it easier to attack.

Not all "what about" questions are bad. It depends on whether you are actually trying to help solve the problem.

A good example of this is if I post, "We should ban cats from going outside so they stop killing birds," it is totally fair to ask, "What about stray cats with no homes? What do we do with them?" This is a good question because it points out a real problem with the plan. Also notice how I said cats as a whole and did not specify that I was referring to pet cats, therefore it’s not unreasonable for people to question the logistics*.*

I recently posted that it should be mandatory for girls over 16 to be tested for uterine health conditions (like PCOS or endometriosis). As someone who has endometriosis and friends with same and other uterine conditions, these illnesses mess with hormones and make it hard to focus during exams. Putting it on their medical record would help them get extra help during tests. It would also be beneficial for girls with parents who don’t take their health seriously.

Whether you agree with my plan or not is not the point of this post you’re reading. The problem is that people instantly commented “Well, what about boys? Boys have hormone problems too!"

Bringing up boys on a post about uterine health fails basic logic for two reasons.

It creates a fake fight (Straw Man), I argued, "We should help girls with uterine conditions." Commenters twisted that to mean, "Only girls matter, and I hate boys." That is completely fake.
It assumes care is limited (Whataboutism), Helping one group does not mean you are taking away help from another group.

Also, if you’re born a boy, right, you don’t have a uterus, so boys have no relevance in the discussion.

Also, often times the OP will clarify or make exceptions in their post (for example, Everyone should get vaccinated against cancer …. except for people with autism or those allergic to the vaccine) and people will still go what about autistic people and those allergic?

I hate it when people twist the conversation just to feel included. If you want to talk about boys' health, go make your own post about it. Stop derailing ours.

At the end of the day, saying "I want to help one group" does not mean "I hate everyone else." Healthy debates only work when people actually listen to the specific topic being discussed. If you cannot look at a post about uterine health without shouting, "Well, what about boys?" you are not helping. You are just derailing the conversation. If you want to talk about a different issue, go make your own thread. Stop ruining everyone else's posts with textbook internet brain rot.

The only reason I still use reddit myself is because I'm big on nostalgia and a have a soft spot for my NEET neckbeard phase when I'd be on reddit all day.

But when I say I slept with around 40 women in the past three years since being a virgin or that I made a 500k net worth that I grew during that time while working multiple jobs, people call bullshit because "someone who could do that wouldn't be on reddit".

And when I share how I grew or how the average person can do just as well as me if not better, there's always something dismissive reason as to why that's not the case.

I don't get it.

And this isnt just me. There's a bunch of successful people I know who occasionally post on reddit and will get mass downvoted when the advice they gave is actually the reason for their success. It's almost as if a lot of people are too inexperienced to clock it

See it all the time with single women of women who don't have a good relationship with their dude, then turn around and look for that lack of love and attention in their son and out their son in a weird emotional husband role.

It's so common and should be called out. And no, it's not normal. One thing is to love your son. Another is to put them in an emotional love role because your dude doesn't give you love.

I hate the fact that some parents wait until their kids grow up to divorce. The arguing, passive aggressive comments, the insulting each other just hurts the children more than if their parents split.
Now I don’t have split parents, but they need a divorce, so I could be very wrong, but I’m personally so sick of living in a household where my parents despise each other and refuse to separate.

As a man/woman, usually. If you’re hot enough you can say and do shit ugly / average people would be jailed for.

Genuine question: why do you think that is

And don’t be stupid and say oh it’s not like this all the time. OF COURSE ITS NOT NOTHING IS 100% THE CASE ALL TIME so please save that stupid comment to yourself

I am a 4/10 face obese dude. I speed-ran through college, masters and PhD in my 20s and taking care of myself was kinda a secondary priority because money was tight. Now that I have enough money to do something for myself for better appearance, I am feeling more confident. I had good self esteem, but not a confidence...if that makes sense. Like, I didn't mop around what a piece of worthless turd I was, but I was a lot less outgoing.

I see the men of all ages, even kids, engaging in this lookmaxxing trend I am just wondering where things went wrong for them so much that they are all jumping into peptides, face-hammering (!), steroids, etc. I noticed a big increase in wanna-be gymflueners in last few years but now lookmaxxing trend is ....troubling to say the least. I want to say that I feel for them because the self-imposed pressure of "no one will go out with me" is real....but there is a strong undercurrent of resentment and anger directed at people general. It's just like "girls gotta have this XYZ body type" agenda from Hollywood and enterteinament but full of puss and venom.

There are some idiots like that guy who hit his face with a hammer - and he still looks like an average dude lol - and they are pretty funny to ridicule, but calling them incels and losers altogether will only encourage them to grow in size.

I’ve noticed that if you’re extremely negative or extremely positive; you don’t have a hot take.

The best hot takes have between a 40-60% upvote:downvote ratio as people in this subreddit don’t know whether to upvote or downvote great hot takes.

They also tend to have several comments attacking everything but the actual argument you have in place

Smut serves the same psychosexual role it does in porn. The only difference is one is visual.

Also you'll notice that erotic novel consumption went up around the same time OF did in covid. And women are the main consumers.

I rest my case ✋🤚

its entirely valid to critique someone whos entire catalogue and play experience consists in what is essentially the same 2 games reskinned, specifically when that person then tries to turn and critique the quality of a game in a style they downright refuse to play because they can't sit through a 5 hour story, because it ISNT a "shoot the ball in the hoop" or "fire a gun" game.

TLDR: my opinion about Clair Obscur or The Last of Us isnt going to be swayed by a guy who only plays COD and FIFA and is mad because the games made him think.

No, I’m not talking about the old school, abusive asylums where anybody and anyone who didn’t do what they were told got banged up for life and locked up in cages.

I’m talking about long term residential, secure facilities for those experiencing chronic psychosis. Schizophrenia and Bipolar (who experience psychosis) lend themselves to this particularly.

I’m not sure where the disconnect is, but we have to stop expecting people experiencing severe, chronic, psychotic mental illness to function as a regular and functioning member of society. It doesn’t help anyone. We don’t expect people with Alzheimer’s/ dementia to remember medications, appointments, how to dress, what to say, work. We understand they’re implicitly not capable.

A person suffering from a mental illness that causes life long, chronic psychosis is the same. It’s no good telling them to just ‘try harder’, go to appointments, take medication. They haven’t got capacity - without guidance or care, they’re not going to be able to do this consistently, if at all. ‘Care in the community’ is not fit for these patients. The impact of unchecked psychotic illness is severe. It doesn’t just pose major risk to the person, but inadvertently others around them. The care required in terms of monitoring/ psychological support/ safeguarding is too extensive for many family and friends.

I’m saying this as a person with long standing psychotic bipolar, before anyone gets up my ass. The demands/ expectations placed on us to work, function, maintain, perform, manage are unreasonable and not feasible. Were taken into hospital for short term stays, kicked back out and expected to go back to work next Monday. Drive. Pay bills. Take medication. Make multiple appointments whilst working. Shamed for not working.

Long term facilities need to be brought back.

idc if we’re married or have kids, i’m not sticking around for it, and imo it’s actually 10x more selfish to pick up that hobby knowing you have kids at home waiting for you.

the most i can do is express my anxiety and heavily discourage them from doing it, but at the end of the day i cannot control a grown person’s actions. i’m the very last person to ever give an ultimatum in a relationship but at that point you would have to choose between me or the bike. way too much can go wrong and the risks HEAVILY outweigh the rewards.

and i don’t care about life insurance either. i would rather you be alive and healthy with me than be compensated for a 100% preventable tragic accident. no amount of money is worth losing the love of my life

no matter how focused YOU are on the road, there are hella people out there who aren’t paying attention and all it takes is one person on their phone cutting you off to either permanently disable you or end your life completely. while you’re out having fun riding at 100mph, i’d be sitting at home going crazy with constant anxiety and stress and that’s not something im willing to deal with ever.

I wasn’t sure how to title this but it’s an observation I’ve made over the past three or so years. I know many people in my life who are on ozempic now and I’m genuinely worried about them, mentally and physically. They aren’t putting in the work to be healthy, but instead have simply withered away, losing fat, sure, but more concerningly muscle. None of them have changed their diets all that much, still drink soda or crap willed with excessive sugar. Most of them all regularly eat super processed foods. The frequency or portion sizes have just changed. But here’s my biggest critique and concern, especially for the younger people I know: all of them report the drug “turning off the food noise.” Food noise might be common but it’s not necessarily “normal,” or certainly shouldn’t be some accepted given for life. Have ANY of them tried proper therapy, DBT or CBT for their food noise? Not that I know of. Have any of them tried OA (overeaters anonymous, a FREE 12-step program accessible daily through zoom meetings on your handy dandy smart phone)? No.

I think sooooo many more people have various eating disorders or disordered eating and just can’t admit it to themselves and are scared of putting in the emotional/psychological work. Because recovery is fucking hard. I’m in recovery and have been sober for 4 years next month. I get it. But kind of like going on suboxone, ozempic and losing weight doesn’t actually take away food noise, it puts it on mute. It’s still there. And I think drug companies take advantage of desperate people, especially women. I’m worried about people, especially women, who have no plan to come off of it, lose a ton of muscle, and who will be more prone to osteoporosis or other issues later on.

What I’m seeing among so many loved ones TERRIFIES me. But at the end of the day, it’s Not my problem. I’m not on it. Anyway, that‘s my hot take.

edited for a typo.

Because your name is your identity, if someone makes fun of it they basically strip your identity away and make you very shy and insecure. I had an issue where I was getting depressed because everyone was making fun of my name and rhyming it with other words. And sadly it absolutely is not taken seriously by anyone.

Servers that complain about people not tipping are usually the shittiest servers. You don’t automatically get 20% for showing up, if you don’t like your pay go learn a marketable skill and change jobs.

You can't blame a company for a consumer's conscious choice to buy things they don't need. The excuse is always the same: I want to have fun, so what everyone does it, and the worst, well then I guess I should'nt buy anything.

People need to be honest to themselves and state that they are okay with human trafficking and slavery and so much worse, if it means they get their chocolate, toys, and waste.

People complain about IPad kids as if the children procured the IPads themselves and also act as if there isn’t an adult in the house who could… take it away from them.

They act like kids simply just don’t read because they don’t want to, but I think it’s that a lot of parents just aren’t caring to teach them or read to them.

Unless you have a legitimate medical reason to NOT receive a vaccine (i.e: allergies, conflicting medications, etc) you are extremely selfish, ESPECIALLY if you don’t get your own kids vaccinated because of what you were brainwashed to believe. There’s always a chance for side effects to literally anything (even your precious essential oils or other home “remedies”). IMO not getting your child vaccinated unless there is a legitimate medical reason is and should be considered child abuse. There shouldn’t be children dying from diseases and illnesses that are easily prevented by getting vaccinated. You’re not just putting yourself and your kids at risk, you’re putting EVERYONE at risk. That includes elderly people, pregnant women, children, people with compromised immune systems, etc. At-risk groups shouldn’t have to suffer or go into hiding because you don’t want to do what is medically appropriate and necessary.

people act like every normal bit of social friction is a major psychological threat. like if a coworker is just being a standard annoying micromanager, people don't just call them annoying anymore, they call it a toxic abusive environment and talk about needing a trauma recovery plan. we stopped letting people just be difficult or selfish and started treating every regular bad interaction as proof that someone is violating our core safety, which just makes everyone terrified of normal human interaction.

Not saying that the person isn't bding a bum, but can we STOP labelling every small interaction as a psychological heartbreak.

Passport bros/weirdo incels love to tout around this idea that no-fault divorce was a horrible thing that ruined modern marriage, that women taking half of the assets and leaving is the worst thing that could possibly happen in a marriage.

Women just used to kill their husbands when they were tired of them lmao. your great grandma didnt divorce great grandpa because she didnt have to, he met the back of a cast iron skillet when he fucked up. All that no-fault divorce did was give women a way out when their husbands started cheating or throwing plates or punching walls.

Especially if while they're going through their low, you dismiss their feelings. Setting them up for failure and to think that's normal btw.

I'm not doing much effort to reel you guys into my side and that's cause I respect your opinion and willing to hear y'all out of you think otherwise.

Provided Lindsay Clancy did kill her children (there's some that believed she didnt this is not for them despite the evidence. And admission to guilt.) There is no extenuating circumstance where she should not spend the rest of her life in prison. Under no circumstance is she fit for a civil society after having killed her three kids. That's it. Prison. Mental disorder and that is very clearly what this is is no excuse for killing your children And to add it was premeditated. She planned it.

Okay, I think only older Gen Zs (2000s) and Millennials might understand this.

Remember when we used to actually play outside? And I don't mean playing with friends, playing with a ball or whatever, I mean, when we went out to actually explore and do random kid sh*te.

Well, I personally believe all kids need this experience in their lives because for a lot of kids, this phenomenon happens. When you try to help a bug but accidentally kill it and feel horrible about it, or when you get so curious, 'What would happen if I cut this worm in half?' And then you do it. Over and over before an adult scolds you and explains why it's bad, or you then understand, 'Oh, I actually hurt it..'

Because remember, kids are born into this world with nothing but curiosity. That's why it's so, so important for kids to explore on their own, make mistakes, try things even if it's stupid. Because that's the only way they'll learn until they're in their 20s and their common sense start to actually common sense.

How many of us had morbid curiosity? Maybe poured salt on a snail, burned a spider, cut up a worm, whatever else, and either learned from an adult why that's bad through scolding and started feeling sadness, guilt, remorse, or they just started understanding after the fact how they just hurt a creature, and started feeling bad? In my opinion, THAT is how empathy forms.

Like, you develop emotions. They're not developed as soon as you get out of the womb. You have them. But that doesn't mean they're developed. That's why you hear, 'emotionally stunted'. That's when someone didn't develop their emotions as they should have in their youth.

Like, how are you supposed to feel remorse when you've never felt remorse before? How are you supposed to feel guilty when you've never felt guilty before?

Obviously, I'm not saying hours outside will make a child grow up into the most amazing person ever. That's not what I'm saying. Other factors are...well, factors.

Like, you know those kids who are so entitled they can't feel a single drop of anything like guilt, remorse, empathy, or sympathy and are coddled by their parents? That's the problem. The parents aren't letting those kids make mistakes and learn from them. They're keeping those kids from literally feeling certain emotions.

Like, what would happen if you, as a kid, ripped someone's doll up? If you were scolded and taught it's wrong, you'd grow up taking care of other people's stuff when left in your care, correct?

But as soon as your parents, whom as a child you believe and trust more than literally anyone in the world because your brain and instincts are literally wired that way, tell you, 'You did nothing wrong, that child deserved it, blah blah blah', the chance for any regret to bloom vanishes, and in it's place you'd start feeling smug, entitled, etc.

So yea. Those are my reasons for believing kids should go outside, make mistakes, accidentally kill insects and reptiles, maybe yank a cat's tail, and feel bad afterward.

P.S: I didn't know what tag to apply 😅

I'm excluding abuse, power imbalance, and surprise changes later in the relationship that wasn't expected or notable from the jump.

Im talking about the women who knew the guy was a bum, loser, and had no signs of providing or living for himself only.

I will never understand or empathize with women who actively allow guys who they know are losers, impregnate them, then decide to stay and have MORE kids then to then decide the guy is a loser!

You literally hold the key to life, and you decide years later to pop up and say hey this guy sucks. But at that point, it's 100% your fault for allowing this loser access to your body. So yes, your body is your choice but bear the consequence by not screaming dead beat like he wasn't a loser from the start.

It's worse when the girl has confidence to know she has options and still settles for a loser and expects the world to empathize with her.

Istg I'm not rage baiting, it's very catchy

Companies and content creators have to stop editing closed captioning to not display curse words. It is incredibly annoying to watch a video and see the bad words edited or taken out. It would be one thing to take them out of an edited video where all audio has also been redacted, but to see the video say fuck and the the captioning say fluke or flip is annoying. Honestly I find it infantalizeing and disrespectful.

Deaf and hard of hearing people are adults and they should be able to read the content of a video without y'all taking away their autonomy. If they aren't old enough to read it as is then they probably shouldn't be watching the video anyway.

I want to be clear I am not deaf I'm just a person who has trouble processing audio without captions. There are people who can't hear at all and to take away their ability to see curse words is controlling and honestly a bit weird. Deaf and hard of hearing people deserve the right to view content as it was intended and not have it be edited as though they are children who should not be in control of what they view.