Not just the typical MBTI stereotypes what weaknesses have you actually noticed in yourself that affect your relationships, work, motivation, or everyday life?

Hi

Today is my birthday, and honestly in pretty happy, there's a hint of birthday blue but it's ignorable. Every year my best friend posts a story on my birthday and I never repost it nor do I like it. Honestly I hate posting on social media that much especially on my birthday. But this year she didn't post a story and I'm feeling down. Idk why though cause I never liked it and found it cringe.

I just wanted to know is it just me or not

Thanks

So once again, who are your favourite intjs

Excluding yourself.

Mine are

Fictional

Hannibal

Caspian keys

Beth harmon

Dr Wendy carr

Dr bedelia du maurier.

Real life

Provably, tilda swinton

Rooney mara

Christopher waltz

And it helped greatly 😁. Even though most of you trolled me 😑. I was able to rizz up a female intj, and it's going pretty well. Slow, but well. She finds me interesting, and slowly she's getting more comfortable and teases me a lot, and actively chooses to spend time with me at work when there's literally hundreds of others she could choose.

What I find interesting is usually when I rizz up a women, there's instant feedback and it's kinda easy to tell if you are hitting the right buttons. Everything is much, much more subtle with her, and it's been extremely satisfying to slowly see her get more comfortable, even with me getting closer to her and breaking touch barrier, I really thought I was going nowhere with the ni babble I was doing, and teasing, I avoided flirting like you guys said, and I didn't say anything dirty, although now I'm slowly getting her used to it lol. But honestly I like how this feels, it feels natural, and not chaotic.

So yeah just wanted to give my feedback from the advice I got, which ultimately was, just have real conversation, and try to engage ni which isn't hard because it's my main too, although due to so much engagement with sensors I don't engage in it often, because it's confusing to most people. Anyway thanks from your infj brethren, and anyone else trying to rizz up an intj, here's my tips; be patient, be real, DO NOT LIE, avoid flirting early, mild teasing helps but don't overdo it, and if they like you they will spend time with you and if they don't they won't, and if you ask how they feel they will likely tell you.

I was reading about other peoples experiences with INTPs and additionally, someone pointed out that INTPs are often mistaken for INTJs. I dug deeper into it and got even more confused.

Eventually, what cleared up everything for me was looking into r/INTP and immediately realising they were not my type of people. (their flairs and etc.)

Has this happened to any other INTJs?

Is there any song from Radiohead you relate to? Like deeply, meant for you and only you?
For me, it’s no surprises and let down.
I wanna hear your thoughts!

I’m a new member. As a 72 year old male lost in the world of extroverts I had to ask AI where I might find my people. Pls, share any insight or questions

The thing is, I tend to take my job seriously, unlike most of my coworkers. And after thinking about it, I realized that in almost every job I’ve had, one of my biggest problems was that I took the work too seriously.

Even management doesn’t seem to prefer people like me anyway. They usually prefer someone more flexible who doesn’t take everything too seriously, as long as they still do the minimum required.

So what do you think?

Am I wrong?

ENTJ - This Icecream SCREAMS Intense (pun intended) The whole flavour of the icecream with the first bite of the outer chocolate layer and the inner icecream is a very subtly intense flavour. By subtly intense here, I mean not the kind of flavour that you feel from the first bite as it explodes into a specific overwhelming flavour. No, not that kind. The subtly intense flavour this icecream has is that the chocolate layer lingers on your tongue long after you have eaten it. Then it gets mixed with the inner layer of the icecream which again has two flavours. All this balances each other out. So even if everything does linger and feel intense in a subtle way. The balance is what makes ENTJ's the way they are. (According to only me of course. This is just a random vibe thing which my Ti refined) In the start ENTJ's seem intense but thats just on the exterior, sure this intensity lingers but when it gets mixed into the inner layer of what they are, it seems balanced because another second wave of intensity is something you feel but its not really the kind of intensity you expect. It's usually all the flavours of the chocolate and two different flavours of the icecream coming together giving you an experience of a balanced and satisfactory ENTJ. So in short, you expect them to be intense from first impression but when you actually experience them, even if the intensity is still there it doesn't feel as bad as you expected, it's balanced.

INTP - So actually... Trying not to project here because I am one myself but I picked this one because its got an interesting structure. Before the taste or anything, this deceptively simple looking icecream actually has a lot more inside. Sure all humans are like that but this specific icecream fits INTP's because the outer structure of this icecream is still complex but it's not hard to figure out(or you'd think). There is that top layer of chocolate and ice cream inside the cone,that's it right?NOPE... There is one more thing inside which is a filling of chocolate right in the middle of the icecream. Like a backbone in the middle of the cone all the way between it. You eat the top coat of chocolate and the backbones connection with the top layer breaks and you see the inside of it. You expect the usual way ice cream cones are but then you eat the icecream and you keep tasting the backbone little by little. Not all of their personality making sense after you take a bite and process it like with ENTJ's. You are forced to interact with them in moderation,understanding who they are with each bite but in moderation because of their structure being that way. Then when you get to the bottom? The backbone of chocolate once firm is now a puddle of melted chocolate mixing with the icecream because you took your time with them. The cookies and cream icecream itself has soft and comfortable parts but what they are at their core is only complete if you experience the backbone (their core) with the comforting parts. Then eventually with time even that core mixes in with the comfort and unlocks a whole new flavour of melted chocolate and cookies and cream.

INTJ - They might be the most interesting type to me. So when you look at the icecream it gives one message. Spiky hard outside and soft inside...the standard stuff...but that would be a MAJOR oversimplification. So this icecream actually doesnt even have a concrete fixed spiky outside...its actually bits and pieces of crunchy chocolate all around it but they are not joined together. So when you take a bite you experience the crunch but also the softness of the vanilla layer. Thats INTJ's for you. They have this certain harshness...here harshness could be anything...anger,coldness,harsh words,etc but not necessarily. Just something that makes you feel disconnected from them. Its actually there in every bite,not like other types that once the crunch or exterior is gone then you get the experience the real thing. Since the crunch is broken in pieces it sticks to every bite but there is again...softness of the vanilla aswell. Though...even this vanilla doesnt necessarily have to be good soft. Its kind of a neutral flavour at times, comfortable but still neutral. This vanilla also shows that with their crunchy parts,there is good intention behind it but even if intention is good,the flavour of it appears neutral. So what you mistake as "breaking exterior to find soft interior" is actually still a whole ass intricate exterior. Not a fake exterior this...just their natural state. Then the real thing lies under the vanilla. Many a times the chocolate inside gets mixed into the vanilla and leaks but when all the other vanilla and crunch is gone (some crunch couldve sneaked into the chocolate layer too) there is this intense flavour of chocolate. It is something overwhelming and something that is sudden that you never expected from the experience with them so far. You get surprised because you had started to beleive they were incapable of something like that but the twist is that even they thought they were incapable of it and it suprises even them because they are so used to their exterior and so comfortable with it that they thought that was all there is to them,and they didnt particularly mind being that way.

ENTP - I have a love hate relationship with this icecream (as everyone does) This Icecream is exciting as hell. When you take the first bite there is the smooth chocolate and the bite of the nut but it's together so it balances each other out on the first bite. That's how they are socially. The nuts are their true intentions, they want more data regarding concepts or whatever they find interesting but they balance it with smoothness. Just when you think that's all there is to them, there is a chocolate ice-cream layer inside. More chocolate, the nutty flavour...of course, still lingers. You have fun with that as well, it's exciting,why not? They are fun and they balance it out nicely. But oh wait.. another layer?! And more chocolate?! This is the hard chocolate core inside and it's overwhelming. It makes you think how much more energy do they have?! The inner chocolate has an even more intense flavour than the outer chocolate layers. You get exhausted but they keep coming with more. I can never truly finish this ice cream in one sitting. I always leave the last part out for later when my taste buds aren't overstimulated. They don't mind... They are satisfied with their excessive chocolate. I guess some people abandon the last part ... I used to as well but I always feel like I dont want to waste food and I take a break and get back in on the excitement of frostik again.

That's all for Part 1,enjoy your ice cream!!

Talking to an Intp and its interesting. It made me wonder what has your experience been with INTP men and women? what have you noticed about them and is there any considerable differences? thank you

What if I’m actually the biggest idiot in the room?

My experience with life so far has taught me that I’m just an ordinary person. Average intelligence, missing a lot of skills, nothing special really.

But at the same time, I feel very different from most people.

I notice things other people don’t seem to notice. Sometimes I act in ways that probably look weird to others just because I believe it’s the morally right thing to do.

I grew up in a religious and conservative society, yet at some point I was able to leave religion and become an atheist. And at the same time, you can find people my age who are far more talented and successful than me, yet they’re still extremely religious.

So I don’t understand.

How can someone as ordinary as me think this differently?

How can I see things that other people don’t seem to notice?

How can I feel strongly about things that other people don’t seem to feel anything about?

And that brings me to the real question:

What if I’m the one who’s wrong?

My life so far has been one failure after another. I haven’t really succeeded at anything, and even in the things I did manage to do, I was never more than average.

I’m an ordinary person, maybe even below average in some ways.

So what if the way I see the world is wrong?

What if my philosophical and moral views are wrong?

What if my atheism is wrong?

How this chess match usually plays out, really depends on whether the "mental fight" is happening in a social snake pit or an intellectual chess match.

Where the Machiavellian wins (The Social Arena)

In office politics, social hierarchies, or any environment driven by human emotion and hidden agendas, the Machiavellian takes it. They live for manipulation, gaslighting, and playing people against each other. INTJs can be notoriously blind to subtle social subtext or just outright dismissive of social drama, which makes them vulnerable to someone quietly undermining them behind the scenes while wearing a friendly mask.

Where the INTJ wins (The Systemic Arena)

Put them in a long-term contest of logic, resource management, or structural design, and the INTJ dominates. Machiavellians are usually tactical opportunists—they're great at short-term grifts and climbing the ladder by stepping on people. But their tricks fall apart when they’re forced into a multi-year chess match where charm doesn't work and everything depends on sheer foresight, logic, and building an airtight system.

Basically, a Machiavellian is built to win the immediate battle by exploiting human weakness. An INTJ is built to win the long war by outlasting everyone through sheer systemic vision. But I'm curious ,What is your ,opinion on this issue?

Why do you believe your significant other is the one person u want to spend your life with?

¿Les gusta la filosofía?

Do you think kindness to others is worth doing? Is it better to focus on oneself?

as an exercise: assume that one choice cannot cover all of the bases. Leave 2 behind, pick one.

When I load the dishwasher, I don't just throw things in, I group the cutlery together, and I put cups on the side of the rack that matches which side of the cupboard they go back into (left cups on the left, right cups on the right). Plates get grouped too so I can take them out together. It just feels obviously more efficient to me, like why would you make putting things away harder than it needs to be?

My family doesn't understand this. While it's so clear to me why this is obviously the better way. Curious if this is a common INTJ thing, or if I'm just overthinking loading a dishwasher.

almost every person I meet is giving me the "ick" nowadays. Has this happened to you ? You've gone from mostly patient to intolerant of others flaws ?

I can't compromise in relationships... I've only ever got on for a few weeks with someone before I give up, and I've usually pissed the other person off. The rest of my life feels like a compromise anyway as we don't fit in..

my wedding just got called off because I will not move 12 hours away from my family just for my partner's job... I won't live with his family... I've been abandoned by people in my world because I'm 'difficult' and useless in their eyes. They think that I give up on life just because one thing didn't go my way.

I don't understand myself either

if you've been in a similar place what did you do about it? counselling has not helped and it's only been a money extracting activity

Every time I try to socialize it backfires. Recently this guy who weedeats for me asked if I kayaked and I said no but I paddleboarded. Next think I know he is sending me videos of his new board. I also mentioned I was am ultra runner and now he ALWAYS compares his bodybuilding to my ultrarunning which BTW I can't even do bc of long covid. But he says shit like, I think about you running and push myself even harder. Essentially putting me into a competition I didn't sign up for that makes me sad because I can't even run now. And most recently I shared that I collect beach glass what happened next? I start getting a bunch of texts of his hauls. Going out to my local area and finding my glass. I never would have thought he'd be a glasser and he didn't even know it was a thing UNTIL I mentioned it. this is exactly why I don't let people in my life.

How would yall handle this?

I'm just curious 😌

From what I've read, INTJs have a strong tendency to tell the truth regardless of others' feelings. And I don't. I accommodate people a lot.

I avoid conflicts with all my might because the emotional intensity people show afterwards, if it's something they don't align with, is SOUL DRAINING for me. Especially if they're sensitive/emotional and/or egoistical.

I'd rather support the delusions of people I think are incapable of objective judgement than start debating with them about it. It reminds me of a politician arguing. All sound, no meaning. And God, how I hate having my time and energy get absolutely burned out for someone like that (which I always assume is everyone I talk to unless I observe otherwise.)

I almost always analyze and adjust (including sugar-coating) what I'm about to say or do at least a couple of times beforehand to weigh how the other person may react. Which is also very tiring (and the reason why I avoid people wholly) but definitely much more manageable for me than people spitting in my face because they don't like what I bluntly say. Also because I simply do not feel good about making others feel bad, even if it's not my fault that they feel bad.

Hey everyone!

I am an Female ENTP, and some of my absolute favorite conversations have always been with INTJs.

I genuinely admire how you look at the world, structure your thoughts, and approach big ideas.

​I’m hoping to connect with a few more INTJs to chat, bounce ideas around, and dive into interesting topics together.

No pressure or forced small talk just open, thoughtful discussions about whatever hyper fixation or theory you are currently into.

Drop a comment or reach out if you are open to chatting!

Single, no success on dating apps, don't much care for the bar scene or organized clubs, so meeting new people is near impossible. Being single is easy for me as it means I create my own schedule/can do what I want when I want, but it's lonely and not a position I endeavor to stay in forever.

I was in a book store the other day just browsing and saw someone pick up a novel I had recently read. My first instinct wasn't "oh I should go over and talk to her about that book", it was "if I go over to where a table of those books are and pick up a copy, maybe SHE'LL come ask me about that book."

I did and she didn't.

In my mind, approaching other people is rude. They're not out in the world to strike up conversation. They're there to complete a task. Women especially have a hard enough time as it is getting hit on and catcalled, so from how I see it, the last thing they need is someone else disrupting their day.

I think people need wristbands saying "friendly please talk to me" or "stay away im trying to get shit done" haha.

Se grip is when someone becomes overly reliant on Extraverted Sensing (Se), usually during prolonged stress. Instead of processing things through their usual cognitive patterns, they become heavily focused on what’s happening right now.

Se itself isn’t bad. The problem is when it becomes excessive and uncontrolled.

What can it look like?

Someone in Se grip might:

• Act more impulsively than usual
• Constantly seek stimulation or entertainment
• Become unusually reactive to their surroundings
• Focus heavily on immediate experiences
• Make decisions without considering long-term consequences
• Feel like they constantly need something to happen

It can feel very different from their normal personality, which is why people sometimes describe it as feeling “out of character.”

How do you deal with it?

1. Reduce the stimulation.
   Take a break from constantly scrolling, gaming, going out, or chasing new experiences. Give yourself some quiet.

2. Pause before acting.
   When you feel an impulse, don’t immediately follow it. Ask yourself: “Will I still want this tomorrow?”

3. Reconnect with your usual perspective.
   Think about your priorities, long-term goals, and what you’ve been neglecting while focusing on the present.

4. Deal with the actual stress.
   Se grip is often a response to something underneath. Figure out what’s overwhelming you instead of only trying to control the behavior.

The goal isn’t to eliminate Se. Healthy Se is useful. The goal is getting back to a point where you’re engaging with the present intentionally rather than being controlled by it.

Have you experienced Se grip before? What does it actually look like for you?