NO AI

Ontario – Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney announced at a press conference that his government has renamed the USA "South Canada." Residents of the former USA are reportedly "very pleased" with this move.

The USA is now officially referred to as "South Canada" in Canada. Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney made this announcement. At the press conference, Carney displayed a map of the North American continent showing the new name. He stated that he had instructed all Canadian authorities, as well as the official Canadian land surveying and mapping agency, to implement the name change immediately.

Carney explained to the assembled journalists that residents of the former USA were "very pleased" that their country could now bear such a distinguished name. "No one wants anything to do with the old name 'USA' anymore," Carney said. "That name stands for incompetent politicians, corruption, and kleptocracy. With this name change, our neighbors in South Canada are showing that they are ready for a fresh start."

When asked whether South Canada might soon become Canada's eleventh province, the Prime Minister replied: "The people of South Canada really want that. They are begging and pleading. They want to be part of a great, successful nation again. I suppose we’ll have to see if they can behave themselves. If they do behave, I would agree to it."

Sorry.