My husband (39M) and I (35F) have been TTC for 6 months, including two back-to-back chemical pregnancies. I'm feeling a lot of frustration and resentment about what feels like his lack of engagement and initiative.

Right now I'm the one managing everything: peeing on a different stick every day (OPK, pDG, BBT), scheduling and attending my OB-GYN appointments (initial screen and bloodwork all came back normal), and researching what additional tests I should ask for next. He says he wants a baby, but beyond that seems passive. He's participating in the "bare minimum" biological sense, but I'm the one directing the whole process.

It would mean a lot to me if he took some initiative himself, for example, independently deciding to get his own fertility testing instead of waiting for me to suggest it. When I brought this up yesterday, he said he didn't realize that was something he should do.

I know carrying the pregnancy naturally puts a lot of this on me. But I'm not sure if my expectations for his engagement are reasonable, or if this passive, wait-to-be-told dynamic is just normal for a lot of couples going through TTC.

What has TTC looked like for your husband/partner?

Okay, husband and I have been TTC for over 3 years all of my tests have been normal however my husband makes no sperm. We have been trying to fix this situation through medications and procedures however no luck. So we moved onto IUI with donor sperm. We have had 3 IUI’s so far, first one I got pregnant however we miscarried at 6 weeks and 3 days. We have spent over $12,000 on IUIs so far with donor sperm. I am currently 12 DPO and had a negative test this morning (I know I’m not out until my period starts just wanting to prepare for the worst). My husband would like to continue IUI however I am worried we are wasting our money however he doesn’t think we can afford IVF currently. So how are you guys affording to continue to TTC (both of our insurances cover nothing for infertility) ?…. If this isn’t the right thread for this sort of questions please let me know thank you

I feel like the worst person in the world…

We’ve been off contraception since January 2025 and have actually been trying for a baby for 14 months now, though initially without tracking my cycles because we didn’t want our sex life to depend on it. In February 2026, I had an ectopic pregnancy and was given methotrexate after we’d seen the foetus. (Another thing in my head - that we actively terminated that pregnancy) Since then, I’ve been tracking my cycles very closely.
Next month we’re due to start our fertility treatment, but so far all the tests have come back negative and everything (cycle, scan, egg reserve, sperm, hormones) looks normal.

Since Thursday alone, four people close to us have announced that they’re pregnant… and I’ve been absolutely shocked by my own reactions and feel like the worst person in the world. Just now, I ended up screaming and shouting at everything after the latest announcement (which, by the way, she made coldly via text message even though I’d seen her on Sunday because, and I quote, ‘she didn’t have the guts’ to tell it in person). . Because why them and not us? I want so badly to be happy for them and when someone tells me it in person I’m always very happy for them in their face… but every time when I’m alone after that, my heart breaks a little more. It’s already got to the point where I’m cancelling plans for fear that the next friend or family member will announce they’re pregnant…

I feel like the worst person in the world, I hate myself and I don’t know what to do…
I’d rather just disappear.

In our 3rd year or TTC. I've had 2 chemical pregnancies...I'm currently on my period, which was 3 days late, which started with brown and pink spotting, which we thought was implantation bleeding because I almost never spot. As far as the doctors know there's no reason we can't get pregnant.... I'm angry, I'm sad, I spent my commute to work crying and literally screaming at God for favoring others while I have to suffer...All my friends are on their 3rd-4th baby and I don't hang out with them anymore because I just can't deal with the pain anymore. I know that makes me a bad friend but I just can't anymore ... I dread every mother's Day and Father's Day, It kills me every cycle no matter how much I tell myself to not care, my tests are always negative? I'm sick and tired of the false hope I get when my progesterone gives me any weird pms, like this time I had hot flashes,never had that before, I had the nausea and the fatigue and bam BFN and period, like I'm so genuinely tired of this merry-go-round of misery. I know the feeling will pass and the wheel will just keep spinning....I Just want to get off this ride of hope and heartbreak. It's getting to the point he's considering adoption which feels like the final nail in the coffin of my heart. I love My husband so so soo much and I want to make him a dad and I feel like I'm letting him down 😭...

Is there any point in continuing to try? Should I just fold and look at adoption? I feel like I've been left behind by fate/God/the universe. I just want someone to tell me things will be okay even if they might now be. I feel so alone.

Let's see those lovely charts, folks!

If you want to personalize your Fertility Friend URL to make it easier for fellow TFABbers to stalk keep up with you, check out this post!

My partner and I both 34y/o have just been told we have unexplained infertility after about 18mo of trying. We are healthy, active individuals and have had a lot of testing and investigation with no cause being identified. Everything seems normal but there has to be something, right? We may go down the IVF route but so much to process at the moment.

I'm just annoyed at people saying "it'll happen"

I made the mistake of telling people we were trying and then I get all the stories of how they had a drunk night out and conceived or how they just stopped stressing and it happened for them or how it happened for them when they "stopped thinking about it".

How do you not get bitter during the process? Or how do you kindly tell someone to fuck off because they don't know shit!?

Today I'm 6DPO after a messy postpartum (loss) and today I've just felt like when I reach the end of this two week wait, I'm not expecting to see a negative or a positive.

Maybe I'm compartmentalizing all the trauma and grief I've been through in the past 11 months but I truly don't have any expectations. I would love to have a positive AHT but I also know that ttc doesn't = pregnancy or baby.

I wish I could feel the joy of getting a positive for the first time or the excitement of seeing the future but I feel like I can't see past each day.

I ordered cheap AHT and LH strips and I'm fully stocked knowing that this could be a long journey to the next positive.

I don't want to sound negative by any means but I just feel indifferent this time around. And I wish that wanting a living children didn't come with so many complex emotions.

Long time lurker here, first time poster. My partner (31M) and I (38F) are finally ready to start trying to conceive. I have been on birth control of one kind or another most of my life, so I’ve never really tracked my cycles. I’ve been off birth control since June 1 and I’m noticing my cycles are abnormally long.

My first cycle off BC was 52 days and I think I ovulated on CD40. Right now I’m on CD41 of my second cycle off BC and I don’t think I’ve ovulated yet.

Do I just need to wait longer after stopping birth control to get more regular? Should I start trying to see an RE now? Am I possibly perimenopausal, and does that mean I can’t get pregnant? Thanks for any advice or support, feeling very disheartened.

I had a successful pregnancy five years ago. At that time my cycles were typical, 28 days with a 14ish day LP. I stopped tracking ovulation after that but always noted my period in my app. I knew we were going to start trying again this summer and noticed last year that my cycles were short, sometimes 22 days. I started tracking ovulation with the strips and confirming with temping in January and that's when I realized my LP was always between 8-10 days but mostly closer to 8-9 days.

I was hoping I could figure it out before TTC so I mentioned it to my OB in February and he didn't think it would be an issue (I'm aware that low progesterone and short LPs is a controversial topic for TTC). Low and behold our first cycle trying I get a positive test at 9 DPO but had already started spotting which turned to heavy bleeding same day and eventually a CP. (I had light positives on different brands for 5 days so I know it wasn't a false positive or indent). I know that CPs are common and it could have been an egg quality issue but I can't help but feel like with the timing of the spotting starting before the positive test that it was probably due to my lining starting to shed and the egg couldn't fully implant.

I messaged my OB and got an appointment for next month. I guess I am just wondering how to advocate for myself? I feel like I have plenty of data to back up my concerns but worry I'll have to fight for progesterone supplements which I truly think would help me a lot. Anyone else have luck convincing a skeptical doctor and did it lengthen your LP?