r/comics • u/megettingkilled • 7h ago

What if it doesn’t happen

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We have to consider the possibility…

38.9k Upvotes

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357

u/No-Jacket-2927 7h ago

I will literally shit on his grave.

268

u/FGFlips 7h ago

His grave will look like that one scene from Jurassic Park within 24 hours.

Processing gif dlhi12nvtwmh1...

59

u/i_dont_shine 6h ago

Jurassic Park is one of my top favorite movies, but this scene always makes me laugh. There's no way that pile of shit came out of that triceratops.

36

u/FGFlips 6h ago

That and the raptor opening the door are ridiculous moments in a movie that is a classic over the top 90s adventure.

14

u/twirlerina024 4h ago

Spielberg is great at that, how it cuts from Laura Dern saying, "...unless they've learned how to open doors hahaha!" to the raptor opening the door. And then when she has a jumpscare in the power shed, is relieved to find it's only Mr Arnold, and then is horrified to find it's only Mr Arnold's arm.

My very favorite is in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, how it cuts from Indy waxing poetic about Marcus Brody, how he speaks 6 languages and can seamlessly blend anywhere, to Marcus Brody stumbling around a marketplace asking if anyone speaks English.

3

u/cantuse 2h ago

"With any luck, he has the grail already!"

10

u/ironballs16 5h ago

You can't hold a raptor in a closet! They're too smart!

2

u/TheodoreSnapdragon 5h ago

To be fair, my dog once managed a doorknob. Critters can manage some astounding things. But it is a bit overdone rewatching

2

u/No_Gas4560 1h ago

we had to put child-protectors on relevant knobs because my german shepherd is literally smart as a child

5

u/Nihiliste 5h ago

I always took it as the accumulated shit from the herd.

1

u/United_Leopard_2771 5h ago

It's clearly not fresh though since it clearly doesn't stink ( i imagine triceratops would smell not unlike cow dung so probably not terrible but still if you're not accustom to the smell of manure lol) and it's More like mud than what i imagine a 'sick'' triceratops would dump if it was having a case of the runs lol.

•

u/CapnBeardbeard 23m ago

They did establish that the triceratops was sick...

18

u/Acrobatic_Poem_7290 6h ago

Unfortunately his grave will probably be on private property behind fences and guarded by private guards

28

u/NB-NEURODIVERGENT 6h ago

Then we Zerg rush it like the Area 51 Naruto runners

16

u/BurritoBandito39 5h ago

We will build a trebuchet and fill it with shit and hurl that over the wall in that case.

17

u/CataChronix 6h ago

You think that will stop people from trying?

6

u/Acrobatic_Poem_7290 6h ago

Not at all, it just might take a bit longer, and a bit more work

3

u/twirlerina024 4h ago

I'm lactose intolerant. Give me a gallon of skim milk and I can nail that grave from the upper atmosphere.

3

u/No_Gas4560 1h ago

helicopter shitting it is, then

2

u/Uranium-Sandwich657 1h ago

A gyrocopter would probably be easier to build.

2

u/USSGoat 4h ago

We shall call it the Great Pilgrimage.

1

u/strangerbuttrue 5h ago

maybe that’s why his older boys are getting into the drone business.

1

u/DisposableJosie 4h ago

This is why aerial drones will be used for fecal bombing runs.

1

u/RpcZ_gr7711 6h ago

We will hurl rotten eggs over the fences

1

u/Shakemyears 6h ago

Now that’s a bit pile of patriotism

1

u/Okidoky123 2h ago

That's after the honey-i-shrunk-the-kids beamer shrunk it.

36

u/Shoadowolf 7h ago

His grave is going to be treated like a public restroom

25

u/Flylikeapear 6h ago

Just like thatcher, I'm sure he'll seethe in hell knowing his grave is operating as a gender neutral bathroom.

3

u/StevenSaguaro 6h ago

Put him in a mausoleum in the center of the reflecting pool, to contain the urine.

15

u/JarrickDe 7h ago

According to the comic, you will have to wait until after the heat death of the universe.

6

u/chi_minhs_hoe 5h ago

I'm patient

2

u/Jessica_Iowa 2h ago

For this, I’ve got time.

1

u/Fakin-It 5h ago

It should be a lot easier to hold it in when it's frozen. The last few billion years will be a cakewalk.

9

u/Expensive-Bag313 7h ago

They might as well install a toilet right above it that flushes directly into his coffin. Otherwise, those poor cemetery workers are going to be picking up fecal matter every single day.

7

u/WoodsLovelyDarkNDeep 6h ago

That’s why he had his ex wife dug up and reburied on his golf course.  So he could designate a cemetery and have himself buried there.  That way people can’t piss on his grave (or at least a lot fewer people will risk sneaking past security)

5

u/Fakin-It 5h ago

Organize and storm it, January 6 style.

1

u/Chastain86 6h ago

I wonder if Melania will notice when he's gone

1

u/WoodsLovelyDarkNDeep 6h ago

She ain’t leaving NY

1

u/masterjon_3 6h ago

They say there's bodies behind the 19th hole, too. Of course, they're small since they're children bones, so good luck finding them.

5

u/Humble-Artificer 5h ago

RemindMe! 10100 years

2

u/alles-moet-kapot 5h ago

Hey just get in line like all of us.

2

u/FuriousSock 5h ago

Same here. It's now a personal goal of mine to live long enough to make it 20 years past his death, so I can go and take a shit on his grave hopefully unbothered.

2

u/Clickclacktheblueguy 5h ago

I’d bet money his gravesite will be unmarked for exactly that reason.

2

u/strangerbuttrue 5h ago

new bucket list item unlocked…hadn’t thought of that

2

u/Swimming_Menu6126 3h ago edited 3h ago

!RemindMe 5 years

1

u/NnolyaNicekan 2h ago

!RemindMe 5 years

1

u/omgitsjagen 5h ago

I've told people that they need to go ahead and get the largest French drain system ever imagined in the budget. They are going to need it.

1

u/BigBlaisanGirl 5h ago

If what people do to his Hollywood star daily is any evidence, they're going to have to cremate and keep him on a mantle at his kids house or hide his grave and keep it a secret. We know how good this administration is at keeping secrets.

1

u/Brother_Kreon 4h ago

It’s actually key to my idea to balance the federal budget.

Charge people $1 to pee, $5 to take a dump.

Set up a good little snack, drink, and merch stand. Set reasonable prices.

We’d be running a surplus within the year.

1

u/Awkward_Pangolin3254 2h ago

And then get right back in line after grabbing some Chipotle.

1

u/lOOPh0leD 1h ago

The further fertilize the grass and make it greener? I get your intent but the execution will backfire.

1

u/No_Gas4560 1h ago

I will be your shit-brother, together we make a double-dooky-drop

1

u/GenericSpider 1h ago

Please wait tll after I'm done dancing on it.

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u/fewerifyouplease 43m ago

100% agree with the sentiment but I do like the approach to Jimmy Savile's grave. Smashed up the gravestone and took it to landfill. No marker.

He does not deserve to take up more of our brain space once he's gone. Plus, you just know that to be ignored and forgotten is his worst nightmare.

•

u/BoJackMoleman 11m ago

And for this reason alone... getting to his grave is going to be incredibly hard. It will be at Mar A Lago