I’ve been going on dates with someone 11 years older for 1 month. We went on 6 dates and this last one I stayed in his place and we were intimate for 4
hours (grinding and kissing because I never did PIV sex). I did my best to make him cum without penetration and he even fell asleep in my arms which I thought it was a sign of emotional connection. It would be our last date until he comes back from his home country because he’s going to stay there the next 3 weeks.

When I came back home, he just texted me asking if I reached home and react with a kiss emoji to my reply. No good night message. No good morning message. No see you soon message. He just texts me the next day saying he landed because I asked him to and again, he reacts with a heart emoji. Today no messages too.

I thought it’s cold from his side to do this and I was expecting more communication after being intimate and flying to another continent, especially because he knows I’m a virgin and we aren’t even official. I feel used and ignored. I’m 26 and he’s 37. We belong to the same friend group and I feel so ashamed and embarrassed of this situation. He literally came on my ass and is acting like nothing happened. I feel like to stop seeing him. Besides of this situation, things are going so slow and he just texts me every other day and his dating history is only short-term relationships that lead nowhere because it “had no future.”

So, I'm inching closer to 40, and I've really never had any success with dating. The thing is, I feel like I never find anyone interesting or appealing to me, personally, to want to pursue romantically. Honestly, I can count the number of women I've been interested in on one hand, and none of them have reciprocated that interest.

I don't feel I'm "picky", in the sense of, it's not like I'm looking for someone with supermodel good looks, wealth, and/ or anything else unreasonable. I'm generally more drawn to women I feel I'm on the same wavelength with, in terms of personality, sense of humor, etc., and for whatever reason, that seems strikingly rare.

Now, admittedly, over the last few years, I've also been struggling to find ways to meet new people, but through my 20s and early 30s, I've had abundant opportunities to meet people, and like I said, I can count on one hand the women I've been interested in romantically.

Funny enough, there's a woman I'm kinda talking to now, and I think she's really cool, but I get the impression this will be another instance of her not reciprocating my romantic interest. She's still talking to me, but her situation is kinda complicated. I wish something could blossom between me and her, but realistically, I'm guessing that probably won't end up happening, given my track record.

But, overall, I just don't really understand why it's so hard for me to develop romantic interest in people. I don't love the idea of having to just be alone in life, but I can't even imagine a partner for myself, at this point. I don't feel like I'm looking for something unrealistic, so I don't really understand what the problem is?

Just because the question is reasonable, not super personal early on, so you would think the person you are dating would have no problem answering. While trauma and stuff can happen and you want to protect yourself and you don't have to be forced to share anything, you feel that you should have the right to ask and know these things about someone you call your partner. So if they were to say, I don't know, stuff happens, or delay answering the question, you would find that odd in that specific context.

Hi everyone. I have been seeing someone for a month and a half now, we’ve been on 5 or 6 dates. He has communicated with me previously that he’s not the best texter, and I appreciated that communication with me. We text every day, but it’s just a couple times a day, which honestly I’m okay with! I think it’s a good amount for in between dates without it feeling overbearing, even if I am more of a texter myself. I think we both compromise in that I text less than I would, and he texts a little more than he would.

He’s communicated with me stuff going on in his life (nothing serious or bad, just stuff he’s been busy with). He has been taking a longer time to text me now for the past week. Sometimes he doesn’t text me til halfway through the day or later.

I am very aware that this could be a sign of him losing interest/gaining interest in someone else. We are not exclusive as we’re still getting to know each other. My question is: when he doesn’t text me until like 5pm or something, how do i know the difference between my response time being natural and genuine to me or me "matching his energy" or it turning into feeling like i have to play games. Texting is very low effort to me, so I have no problem texting back as soon as i feel like it/am not busy. And for the most part i do that. But I'm starting to feel like I shouldn't be so quick to respond now. What do you think?

Quick note that he has planned almost every date and they've been very fun. he has gotten me little gifts, remembers things about me, sends me pictures of his day. I'm at the point where things are starting to feel a bit scary, like we're at the make or break it point. but I am trying to keep my composure lol. any tips appreciated

Going to start by saying that I (42f) and my recently broken up with ex (55m) have differing opinions on the matter.

We had been dating a year and a half. I live in Vegas and he lives in PA but has a condo in Vegas. He is here very frequently. We would see each other in Vegas and then do our own thing when he was gone, but when we started dating we went exclusive. So I wasn’t seeing anyone when he was in PA.

He had season tickets to the Steelers for like 25 years and they played in Ireland last September. So, we went to the opener vs jets in nj. Had a whole trip around it where we golfed with his golf buddies and I met his mom in Allentown and we went around Philly, then went to the Steelers game at meadowlands, then I flew home to Vegas and he was in pa for a few weeks.

I knew he was going to Ireland for the game. He owned a business and usually would take clients to the regular game with his season tickets. So he said he had a solo trip planned and was going to meet at the game in Dublin with some clients. Fine have fun. He sent me pics and updates of his solo Dublin trip. I didn’t ask, he just sent them. Great hope it’s a fun trip!!

Well long story short it’s last month (July 2026 now) and I stumble on his ex’s Facebook page where the most recent photos are pics of them together in Ireland. Every place he told me he was alone, his ex was there. Walking through districts by day. Pubs by night. The pics he sent me of him at Irish pubs, she took and they were posted on her page. I. Was. LIVID.

I found the pics and was like wtf is this?? You said you were alone but you spent a whole week with your ex in another country going on romantic dinners and exploring the towns together???? Fuck you cheater and liar.

So I let it rip and broke up with him. Weeks later he says they didn’t sleep together so it wasn’t cheating. He says he never cheated.

I say, you went on a trip to another continent with your ex, and you lied about the whole thing. That’s fucking cheating you’re just mad you got caught later down the road.

Had I known, I’d have dumped him when I found out. If it was a “we are in the same circles in Pittsburgh, this was arranged before I met you, I’m going to see my ex there” I could have worked with that. But he didn’t just see her at the game, they explored Ireland together as a couple. There was nobody else in any of the other photos I found.

So I told him, if there was nothing to hide why did you hide it from me and lie to my face for months???

Anyway apparently he thinks it’s only cheating if you get your dick wet. But I said if he saw me out on a date with another man, he would have flipped his shit calling me a cheater. And he not only went to every dinner with his ex, it was a whole ass week together. I don’t care if they fucked or not that’s cheating. He didn’t tell me anything about that and didn’t even tell me she was there. Lied from the moment we met apparently, and yet accuses me of cheating when he isn’t around (projecting obviously).

Please tell me I’m right.

Do you guys get annoyed when it takes you 3-5 days to reply and then the person replies right away?

I like doing that sometimes just to mess with them 😂😂 but its also cuz I frankly dont care, if you text me, I literally might respond to you the very same second you send your message or it might take me a few hours. Speaking of which I have a voice message from a friend I havent responded to 🤔 so let me get back to that

M20 I had my first kiss in December of last year and I've only kissed two girls. Kissing is awesome though. I love the tension leading up to a first kiss and resolving it without words. It's like a way of communicating with someone using just your body. I love little random smooches, I love a mini-makeout session when we get in my car, I love long makeout sessions where the whole world goes silent except for the two of us. I love feeling someone else's lips against mine, I love when they run their hands through my hair, I love when their whole vibe shifts and becomes more serious but also still playful.

I'm single now and still getting over the heartbreak from the first girl, but kissing is just so nice. I don't know how long I'll be single for or when my next kiss will be, but I know it'll be awesome.

I had a crush on an attractive coworker for a while. I had also seen him smiling at me and thought from some messages that it might be mutual. Finally when I left the organization, I shot my shot and emailed him with my number and asked if he wanted to get drinks. We started texting and went out on a date. It went pretty well. We both did drink a good amount and he made other comments about drinking on weekends that did make me wonder if he had a drinking problem. We ended hooking up and it was enjoyable. I did tell him I didn't see anything serious happening.

Fast forward 3 months later and he reached out after my parent's passing. He was very empathetic and seemed to care how I was doing. A few weeks later I decided to message him and we started chatting. He said he wanted to see me when I got back to town and I said I did too.

I'll admit we started sexting and he brought up something he said we did sexually. I told him I don't remember that, but I was tired that night 4 months ago. He got annoyed and said I must have a rotation and confused him with another man and that he deserved more. He said he wasn't sure he wanted to meet any more. I had to defend myself and also apologize. He seemed like he moved on.. then at 3 am I got these weird texts that didn't fully make sense.. "you treated me transactionally... etc. In the morning he was calmer, accepted my apology, and did start trying to sext me. So I was thinking he has some emotional issues, but didn't have the full story.

I finally got approved for a local forum and I searched his name and omg... he's on there a lot. I contacted 6 women and 5 have gotten back to me. The worse things I've read are he cheated in an exclusive relationship with 16 women. 3 of these 16 said he was abusive. One said they consider something to be sexual assault and multiple said he doesn't like to use protection.

A number said has a drinking problem and will start arguments in the middle of the night. One heard his ex wife in another state has a restraining order. At work he was very charming and well liked, but being charming fits with what his job is... sooo I almost want to tell women I know at work, but probably not a good idea. And sadly his career may be one of the best things going for him. But I feel lucky that I dodged a bullet- maybe Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

I’ve had a few relationships now, all failed or I wouldn’t be here. I’ve learned from every one of them and always try to do better for myself. I of course have plenty to still work on, 36f and my whole world has been shattered. The man 36m I thought was my forever person, gave up so fast. 15 years knowing each other, 4 years in a meaningful relationship and throwing it all away because he refuses to communicate. Genuine silence when I tried to talk to him about anything. He literally just said nothing and then never bring it up again. It’s jolting and weird. Admittedly I ended up blowing up because his refusal to talk about anything real. He then broke up with me by saying let’s have a conversation. I was relieved to finally talk all for him to say, I can’t do this, and leave. It wasn’t even a convo.

Fast forward, we’ve been in contact and now he’s blocked me completely. Of course with no warning or conversation, not shocking I know. It’s jarring and hurtful. I’m so angry and mostly devastatingly sad. I had to text his parents to get my stuff back. And his parents said they’ll drop my things off to me…… a grown man almost 37 can’t bring me my things? He’s now chosen to live with his parents and pretend I didn’t exist at all. I’m so confused. I’ve dabbled in dating apps just to get myself back out there now. It’s been a year since the break up, a month since being blocked. So it’s obvious I’m definitely not ready to date. But i feel so old now and what’s even the point. I don’t want to start a family into my 40s, I’m already exhausted and all the things I want has disappeared. Maybe I’m being dramatic, but this really sucks. How unlovable I must be that he could so easily block me and act as if I don’t exist. I don’t know. I’m sorry for my rant. I haven’t slept in what feels like years.