r/sex Jun 30 '23

Mod post The /r/sex Rules and Guidelines - please read BEFORE you post! Updated 2023

190 Upvotes

The mods of /r/sex make it our policy to review the rules of the sub on an ongoing basis, tweaking items as necessary. In an effort to stay abreast with the growth of the sub and with the evolving moderation that requires, we have decided to re-sticky the updated rules to serve as a reminder for our membership.


r/sex is for civil discussions pertaining to education and advice regarding your sexuality and sexual relationships. It is a sex-positive community and a safe space for people of all genders and orientations which demands respectful conduct in all exchanges. There is ZERO TOLERANCE FOR CREEPY/HARASSING BEHAVIOR here — in posts, comments, messages, or any other contributions. No exceptions.


This is a large community dedicated to an extremely popular topic. If you wish to participate, it is your responsibility to familiarize yourself with our rules of conduct BEFORE you participate here. Failure to do so will result in your removal from the community.

PLEASE READ the FAQ with the most asked and answered questions - BEFORE POSTING!! Posts that do not follow the posting guidelines in the FAQ will be automatically removed.


THE /R/SEX RULES

1) ENGAGE CONSTRUCTIVELY AT ALL TIMES.
This means ensuring that ALL of your contributions here are constructive, on-topic, mature, sex-positive, civil and respectful. Disrespectful conduct will see you banned from the community on the spot. Hitting on other people, asking for pictures (joking or not), making any sort of sexist comment or insult, body shaming, or trolling of any sort will result in your immediate ban.

2) DON’T SKIP THE FAQ OR THE FORUM RULES.
We’re serious about this. Dozens of posts get removed every day because they’re covered in the FAQ or violate the forum rules.

3) DON'T OVERLOOK PAST POSTS.
We’re serious about this, too. Many questions may be new to you, but are very common in our community. Before you submit a post on a common topic, search the forum.

4) ALL CONTRIBUTIONS MUST BE SEX POSITIVE.
We demand that consenting adults be free to express their sexuality as they see fit. Kink shaming, slut shaming, and similar conduct will not be tolerated. Links or references to sex negative communities or websites (No Fap, Porn Free, etc) will not be tolerated. Attacks on the lifestyle of other consenting adults will not be tolerated.

5) POSTS SEEK ADVICE, COMMENTS PROVIDE IT.
The main forum is focused primarily on posts seeking specific actionable advice for distinctive personal situations. Giving advice should primarily be done in the comments. General discussions are often allowed, so long as they adhere to the group rules and restricted content guidelines. If you want to make an exception, please request approval from moderators.

6) DO NOT TROLL OR ENGAGE WITH TROLLS HERE.
Don’t try to challenge, question, tease, fight, or outwit trolls here. Instead, use the Report button to alert moderators, who will review every single reported item. Trolling of any sort merits an immediate permaban.

7) ALL DISCUSSION MUST BE DIRECTED INTO THE PUBLIC FORUM. Do not seek private conversations here, via Private Message or any other method. And do not seek to draw attention or clicks to an outside site of any type (unless you have received prior moderator approval, such as for academic research projects). Every comment here must be a clear attempt to engage with an ongoing public discussion in the forum. Violations of this rule will result in permanent bans without notice.

8) RESTRICTED CONTENT This sub is generally only for seeking advice, education, or discussion about sex and sexuality. We restrict or forbid many types of content here.

9) NO USE OF AI FOR POSTING/COMMENTS, NO REPOSTS
Reddit uses AI detection software to spot potential bot-posts and spam but people are encouraged to report posts that look fake, AI-generated, or are reposts of content created by other users.


EXAMPLES OF CONTENT RESTRICTED IN /R/SEX:

1) PROMOTIONAL POSTS.
This means any post containing any kind of promotional element, especially one which seeks to lure traffic to another site or promote a product. Links to specific product descriptions are permitted if they’re PRECISELY on-topic in the context of the post, AND the post itself is clearly seeking advice in good faith. If you're trying to sell something, conduct market research, etc - these posts will get you banned. Linking to sex-positive blogs or podcasts is allowed, provided you make an effort to start a conversation here about the topic and use the link as supporting material.

2) LINK POSTS.
Linked material must be sex positive and precisely on-topic to stay up here, and needs to be introduced with a workable framework for discussion. Please see the posted Link Policy BEFORE you post links! Bare links to youtube, images, blogs, podcasts, etc are prohibited.

3) ACHIEVEMENT POSTS.
These include appreciation, humblebrags, “I just had to share,” “I just want to say,” etc. These belong in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread, not in the main forum. Posts which are JUST sex stories belong somewhere else entirely — like r/sexstories or a similar forum.

4) LOW EFFORT MATERIAL.
“Does anyone else...?”, “Is [X] normal/weird?”, “Is [y] wrong/bad/okay?”, and so forth. Human sexuality is incredibly varied; yes, someone else likes what you like, and labels like "normal" or "weird" are meaningless - and in a sex positive community, we do not allow any moral judgments against sex acts or behaviors that are consensual. Title-only posts, posts with no effort at an actual conversation will be removed and may get you banned. Comments that consist of nothing but memes, "this", "lol" and such are highly disfavored. If comments do not further the discussion, they may be removed; a pattern of these may result in your ban.

5) SEEKING FAP MATERIAL.
Do not ask for sex stories, do not ask for the hottest/strangest/most unusual/etc encounter someone ever had. Do not ask for lists of other people's kinks.

6) PORNOGRAPHY, EROTICA, OR PERSONALS.
You may not post or link pornography or erotica here. You may not share pictures of your genitals here - even if you are seeking medical advice (if you need to post a picture, you need to be going to a doctor). You may not recruit sex partners here, look for dirty chat, ask for someone to private message you, etc.

7) DISRESPECTFUL CONTENT.
Personal attacks, insults, name calling, or disrespect of any sort are not allowed here. Sexism, racism, or any type of hate speech will result in your immediate ban. This is a community for ALL GENDERS - refusing to acknowledge a trans individual's gender flies in the face of this, and will result in your ban.

8) OPINION SEEKING, POLLS, VALUE JUDGEMENTS, OR VALIDATION POSTS.
This forum is not for simply collecting opinions - "do you think [X] is hot?", "Women, do you like [Y]?", "What is your favorite sex position?" and so forth. This is not a forum to discuss your penis size, breast size, labia size, ask about other body image issues, or ask for feedback on your photos. See the /r/sex FAQ for help regarding body image issues. Do not post your pictures and ask people to rate or critique you. Do not ask if given consensual sexual interests are good/bad/okay/wrong, etc.

9) ACADEMIC SURVEYS.
These require prior moderator approval. Moderators will review the question formats and will review the documentation of institutional ethical oversight (please provide). Non-academic surveys are seldom allowed. Please contact the moderators BEFORE you post a survey or study.

10) GENERAL RANTS, ESSAYS, EDITORIALS, VENTS, CONFESSIONS, PSAS, AND AMAS.
These don’t belong in the main forum unless you have obtained prior moderator approval. Save them for story-based forums. Or Tumblr.

11) FREQUENT/FAMILIAR TOPICS.
These are addressed in either the FAQ, past posts, or both. In case you are confused, this means that we do not do penis size posts here.

12) VAGUE TITLE/TOPIC.
If a moderator can’t identify your issue or the type of advice you’re seeking, your post will be subject to removal. Titles should be at least several words long and adequately express what your post is about.

13) NONCONSENSUAL OR ILLEGAL CONTENT.
/r/sex is for the discussion of consensual sex among adults. We do not permit posts that advocate pedophilia, bestiality, rape, or incest here under any circumstances, nor do we allow these topics at all in most instances. Note that BDSM and CNC (consensual nonconsent) are perfectly valid topics in /r/sex.

14) OTHER OFF TOPIC ISSUES.
This is not the place to discuss politics or religion, to seek dating advice, to ask for how to pick up women, to rant about how you have never had sex. Posts that appear to be dedicated to stirring up arguments - particularly about hot button topics like circumcision, the evils of pornography and/or masturbation, and other toxic subjects - will be removed and will result in swift bans.

15) IMPORTANT NOTE ON DISCUSSIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT.
Sexual assault is an important and emotional topic which can be discussed (constructively) in r/sex. But posts which simply seek opinions about whether a given scenario counts as sexual assault do not do well here. This is true for several reasons, including the fact that assault laws vary by jurisdiction, and we don't encourage debates about jurisdiction issues here. Therefore, we ask that you refrain from describing a scenario and then simply asking “Is this rape/assault?” Instead, ask for specific advice: About how to respond to the scenario, how to avoid it, or how to proceed with next steps. Posts which simply ask “Is this rape/assault?” are subject to removal without notice.

16) POST LENGTH.
For ease of reading and reviewing, please get to the point of your post quickly — in the post title, first paragraph, etc. Consider adding a tl;dr to long posts. Posts which are inconveniently long — over 600 words, approximately — are subject to automatic removal. Also, line and paragraph breaks are VERY HELPFUL for readers and reviewers — walls of text that lack these are subject to removal for readability.

Further information about the /r/sex rules and policies can be reviewed on the rules page.


Other Relevant Sub-Reddits:

BDSM Community

DeadBedrooms

Dirty Pen Pals

Gone Wild

Ladyboners Gone Wild

LGBT Sex

LGBT

Normal Nudes

One Y Chromosome

Polyamory

Redditor for Redditor (Personals)

Relationships

Sex Stories

Sex Toys

Swingers

Transgender

Two X Chromosomes


r/sex 5d ago

WEEKLY SEXUAL ACHIEVEMENT THREAD Weekly Sexual Achievement Thread

7 Upvotes

Post your own achievement story

Everyone who feels like sharing a story about sexual experiences can do so in this weekly post. Be it a new or an old story, be it extraordinary or rather common; anything - from happiness over losing your virginity or having your first orgasm, to sharing about the amazing, kink-filled weekend of debauchery you experienced - is appropriate to this thread.

Post an update to a post you have made in the past

If you have posted for advice about a situation in the past and wish to share an update - this is the place for it.

Please follow the rules of this community

Any sexual experience that you wish to share is fair game, as long as you follow the rules of the community.

If you use Reddit in a web browser, you'll find the rules just to the right.

If you use Reddit in one of the official apps, you'll find the rules on the About tab.

Let's hear about it!


r/sex 8h ago

Beginner My first penetrative experience was… underwhelming. Does it actually get better with the right partner?

310 Upvotes

So I (24F) recently had my first penetrative sexual experience and… y’all, is that it? 💀

I went on a date with a guy, things were going really well, and by the end I genuinely wanted to have sex with him. I went into it excited and with an open mind. Things started off well. We made out for a few minutes, he fingered me, I gave him a handy and oral, and he ate me out (he started off well, but towards the end it was just a whole mess).

Then we got to penetration and, I swear, I could barely feel anything. His length looked average, but maybe I need more girth? but I also believe in “it’s how you use it.” Unfortunately, I feel like he did not know how to use it. The only time I really felt anything was when he was thrusting harder and faster. The problem was he could only keep that up for maybe 10–20 seconds before he had to slow down because he was getting close to finishing.

We tried different positions, but I still wasn’t feeling much unless he was going hard and fast. It honestly felt like an out-of-body experience because it was 10 seconds of sensation, then 1 minute of nothingness, then 10 seconds of sensation again. Like “Oh! I can actually feel that! and then nothing (& repeat). Meanwhile, I’ve used realistic dildos that have performed better (despite the arm cramps during to keep the angle right)

I wasn’t expecting penetration alone to make me orgasm cause I usually use a clit vibrator with my dildo, so I already knew I might need more stimulation. I just expected penetration itself to feel better than it did.

My best friend is very vocal about her sexual experiences, so maybe I hyped it up too much in my head. But people clearly enjoy sex enough to keep wanting more, so there HAS to be a version of this that makes sense to me. And everyone always told me your first time is supposed to be this sacred, meaningful experience that you’ll remember forever. Honestly, my reaction was more like, “Okay, that’s over. Let’s find something better that works.”

So for those who had an underwhelming first experience, did sex eventually get better once you found someone you were actually sexually compatible with? And for those who found their “match,” what made the difference? Was it technique, communication, anatomy, positions, or just finding someone who understood what worked for you? Because right now I’m wondering if I just had a bad first experience or if I’m missing something about why people love penetration so much.

TLDR: First time having penetrative sex and I barely felt anything. Is this just a bad first experience, or does finding the right sexual partner really make that much of a difference?


r/sex 3h ago

Intimacy and Connection Wife wanted to try different things to revive the sex life, even bringing a third wheel in the room

57 Upvotes

Hello everyone, over a year ago our first kid was born, obviously sex life is stalled for almost 2 years. Also, I was away for over 9 months after that baby was born, due to work. We're together now, but sex life is not like before. We both understand this. Wife (32f) asked me (35m) to try different things in the bedroom to revive the sex life like bringing a projector in the room, being recorded and uploading them online (faceless obviously), and also added if I'm interested to bring another woman in the room, initially I thought it's a trap but after asking her couple of times in a different way, straight forward, she said that she's serious about it but only one condition that she must be the part of the threesome, and I also asked that by doing this whether she wants to invite a guy for her in the future or what, she refused and said that she's not interested in MMF and only FMF, she's not bisexual though, so even the idea of being played with another woman in the threesome was rejected by her. I'm a bit confused about this. Idk what to do?


r/sex 2h ago

Communication Frustrated that my husband doesn’t understand that him hiding stuff about his sexuality upsets me

20 Upvotes

My husband and I are in a bit dead bedroom situation. His sex drive has decreased dramatically, and I don’t know why. Nothing that I know has changed. No new stress, health conditions, or other events that may affect his libido. I’ve asked countless times if he has any kinks or fetishes he wants to explore or anything! He always says “nothing”. Well that was bs. I was using his computer (he has a windows and I have a Mac so sometimes I need to use it for programs), and well I just decided to look in his browser history. What do you know, there’s fetish porn. I’am not going to disclose what it is, but it’s no way in the extreme of what someone could be in. I was, and I’am, livid. First, all the time this material was looked for suspiciously lines up with when we had discussions on the bedroom. 2nd he really decided that porn was better than a loving, real women who would do anything for him. He tried to justify saying it was a one time thing yatayah. I know I know. It’s not my right to make him confront it or for me to know it. But it’s beyond frustrating that he has this thing that could bring us much closer if he was just honest. So I guess what’s the next step in dealing with this? I know we need to communicate and right now he’s sleeping on the couch. Pls give advice


r/sex 1h ago

Kinks I get pleasure from making my partners cum/giving them pleasure, and i'm rather dominant. I'm straight. Would i be called a "service top" or is that more used exclusively for gay relationships?

Upvotes

Basically what the post says, i'm in some "sex positive" circles. I want to communicate how i am sexually. So i found "service top" fit pretty well. But its very gay coded apparently, as i'm a straight man, i dont want to send out the wrong signals. Will this get the message across? Is there another term? Or is "service top" just a gay thing?


r/sex 1h ago

Beginner Queefing in doggy

Upvotes

Hi guys! I (23F) have a little problem lol. Me and my Boyfriend recently started having sex and everytime we do doggy I immediately start queefing. He doesn’t mind but i do get very uncomfortable unfortunately. And I don’t know if this is important but me and my partner also have a big hight difference (I am 5’4 and he is 6’3). Does anybody know how i could stop this it’s really annoying


r/sex 3h ago

Erection Issue My bf goes soft when it’s time for actual sex, what do I do?

8 Upvotes

My bf easily cums through handjobs but not blowjobs due to personal preference and is constantly rock hard around me but when it gets to actual PIV sex he goes soft inside of me or gets soft before I can even put it in.

He’s likely not used to wearing condoms as he is a virgin, however I am not. Watching him cum through handjobs and being very attracted to him doesn’t help. My libido is very high and this is causing me to become very sexually frustrated as I cannot even have sex with him and he doesn’t eat me out or finger me either. Selfishly I find myself upset because I feel like my needs aren’t being looked after especially because we do not see one another often.

He listed a few reasons as to why he goes soft and it included the condom, anxiety and nerves about pleasing me. He said he gets in his head even though I reassured him. This is the third time this has happened. There are so many fears running in my head whether it’s my attractiveness, his habits or even what he truly likes. I just don’t know what to do or how to help him because I’d love to have sex with him if I could.


r/sex 19h ago

Anal sex Anal and Hemorrhoids

137 Upvotes

Help 😭
I (f31) have finally started to be comfortable exploring anal play with my husband (m31). I’ve gotten to where I’m okay with, and enjoy, tongue play and plugs but the last few times we’ve used plugs I’ve woken up the next morning with hemorrhoids 😭.
I don’t know what to do or how to prevent them. We use lube, go slow and there’s no friction other than inserting and removing when finished.
Does anyone know what I can do? I don’t want to hate this when it was finally starting to be enjoyable.


r/sex 18h ago

Inspiration and Ideas How to be less of a pillow princess

79 Upvotes

Listen I know I'm a bit of a pillow princess its my favorite. But sometimes when someone says it i just like kind of cringe and don't want that label. My head game is fantastic so I do that often and I enjoy that but when it comes to i guess me taking more control in sec like on top i feel like I'm so distracted by my insecurities that I'm just not doing good. I feel like I'm not making the motions right not going fast enough without legs cramping or getting tired and just feel like I'm looking gross i always want to hop off. 🙃 any advice or tips on things to do or different things to try


r/sex 13h ago

Hygiene terrified of giving head

26 Upvotes

this will probably sound silly but im looking for genuine advice.
im bisexual and im terrified of giving head to men due to bad past experiences with hygiene. of course i know not everyone is filthy like that but for some reason, the organ itself scares me now. i dont wanna be like this because i know it can make sex with me dreadful, but the last time i gave a guy a head (because he asked for it), he was straight out of the shower and i could still kinda smell the natural odor of the organ. im hoping that if i meet a guy i really really like i will get over this fear as the desire to pleasure him will be stronger.
i even spent a good amount of time pondering about the possibility of me being a lesbian since i’m very attracted to the female organs, but male organs scare the shit out of me. i like having sex with men IF i dont have to see the penis lol. what do i do?


r/sex 42m ago

I can't find a flair that fits All of a sudden I have infinite stamina

Upvotes

Is it normal to all of a sudden have a higher stamina than usual for years I use to be minute man I could also have multiple rounds of finishing with my gf. Now I last about an hour to 30 minutes and I almost can never finish in the second round.


r/sex 1d ago

Communication How can I nicely tell my boyfriend that I want him to be a little more... hygenic?

132 Upvotes

My boyfriend and I have a decent sex life, but I feel like his hygiene turns me off a bit.

He's not like, gross. There isn't smegma or anything like that. But his dick always smells... a lil weird? Either kinda like pee or bitter. It's enough to make me think "I really would prefer to cut this blowjob real short" but not enough to make me absolutely repulsed. It kinda irks me too since I generally try to be quite clean and nice for him. He always says there is no/little smell or taste for me, so I have no idea how to bring this up without hurting his feelings... especially since I love him + he used to be one of those teen boys MORTIFIED at the thought of smelling like anything other Axe


r/sex 45m ago

Orgasm Issues Married for 23 years and I honestly don't know if I've experienced the big O

Upvotes

I had a bad experience with my first sexual relationship and I think it keeps me from letting go when I'm with my husband. How do I work past this mental block? To put it out there...I empty my bladder before sex just to make sure but I'm still going to be MORTIFIED if something happens. I just don't know what to do. Also, I feel like it's a control thing. I don't know what I'm trying to say. I just know that I don't think I've ever finished and if I've been close....I stop. Even when he's trying to keep it going.


r/sex 18h ago

Inspiration and Ideas Recomendations for couples sex quiz

28 Upvotes

A while ago I took a quiz with a past partner where we filled out things we were and were not interesated in trying. It ended up being a lot of fun, and I'd like to try it again

Does anyone have a quiz they would reccomend?


r/sex 4h ago

Protection Help! Non latex condoms ? Over 65mm?

2 Upvotes

Long story short, I'm allergic to latex, my partner doesn't fit anything we've been able to find in stores. Is there any non latex condoms that go up to like 70mm? I'm lost and feeling really bummed. I don't wanna use female condoms as it's uncomfortable for me. But my partner does not fit anything we can find that's non latex


r/sex 11h ago

Satisfaction i cant get wet enough

5 Upvotes

im actually very upset cuz i can never get aroused or wet enough to actually have sex and it's making me very frustrated with myself. i have gotten so aroused to the point of getting vaginal cramps at random ass times and places with my partner but when we're actually trying to get intimate i feel absolutely nothing and feel horribly guilty about it. im tired of my body not being comfortable enough or whatever tf like i do not care i don't know what to do. this has been the same with every guy I've been with but I'm specifically very attracted to my current boyfriend and want to have sex with him but feel guilty asf cus it doesn't happen because of me like what do i do genuinely


r/sex 1d ago

Communication How can I tell my wife that I miss finishing in her mouth?

388 Upvotes

as the title says, my wife used to give me spontaneous BJs and let me finish in her mouth. I’ve told her how much I enjoy it and it is a different sensation than finishing PIV. it’s been almost a year since she let me finish in her mouth. I know she wasn’t a huge fan of the taste but she used to do it consistently and told me she prefers to just swallow than let it sit in her mouth.

how can I let her know that I want to start doing this again without making her feel bad? I always return the favor and have no problems going down on her whenever until she finishes. appreciate any advice


r/sex 1d ago

Skill improvement Is "she comes first" a good book to learn how to please her?

80 Upvotes

I had a conversation with my bf and I told him that it takes me 20ish minutes to cum when I'm aroused and that I can only cum from clit stimulation.

He has been having issues with this because he can't do it in a short time and the only times he made me cum it took him 40ish minutes from when we got naked.

He just goes in too hard to fast and it's overwhelming most of the time. He mistakes me twitching and squirming as me getting closer but I told him that fast and hard doesn't get me there. I need soft and steady and that he shouldn't chase the extreme "closing the legs and twitching" reactions

I told him that now I feel pressured to cum because I know he'll get frustrated and turned off if I don't cum.

That we should just not think about it as a goal and just enjoy sex together.

I told him a lot of my friends (in their 20s) avoid having these uncomfortable conversations by faking orgasms, and that idk about how fast his last partners were at cumming (good for them!😭) but that he shouldn't be putting those expectations on me.

He told me he probably has a warped view and will do research and asked me for some books or anything helpful.

What do I send him to read? Any great big post on here? She comes first? Come as you are? Mind the gap?

Help!!!!


r/sex 9h ago

Inspiration and Ideas How to explore?

2 Upvotes

I’m in a monogamous new relationship and I want us to try different things in our sex life. However I don’t really know what to try. I spent ages 22-30 in a dead bedroom relationship and have only slept with a couple guys since. I don’t want us to watch porn for ideas as I’m pretty anti-porn altogether. How can I raise this topic to him and how can we find out different things to try?


r/sex 18h ago

Intimacy and Connection Sexual arousal requires aesthetics?

12 Upvotes

Has anyone experienced this or knows the term for it? My wife can only get aroused in very aesthetic fancy expensive looking places.

Obviously not everyone is into voyeurism or a BDSM aesthetic, but I can’t find the term for people who require a “pretty” atmosphere.


r/sex 5h ago

Orgasm Issues I cannot cum from sex

1 Upvotes

I (23M) have been sexually active for a year. I’ve only had sex with one person which is my current girlfriend.
My issue is that Sex feels quite good but not the point where I can cum. I do feel excited, I do get hard and have no problem in that area but I cannot cum from the sensation of sex with my gf even though it feels quite good. Important to note that I can only cum when I flex my leg muscles. Which I think flex my pelvic and
Allows for more sensation.

There have been moments where I came more « naturally » : After a month without sex and masturbation, I had sex with my gf and came pretty quickly.

Here are my hypothesis:

1) I have been masturbating for 9 years now, even if I always used lube I know that death grip can still happens

2) There is nothing wrong and that’s just what sex is

If it’s the first, I think that masturbating with a light touch or with a hard shell pocket pussy should be beneficial to train my brain to more realistic sensations.

Did someone experience the same thing ? If so how to increase my sensations ?


r/sex 6h ago

Hygiene Do non-porous silicone toys need extra cleaning for safe anal use?

1 Upvotes

My wife and I are starting to get into light anal play in supplement with other stuff and I want to get a couple vibrating toys for dedicated anal use (vibrating buttplug and prostate massager ​from PlusOne) and I'm just wondering if they need special cleaning with the extra risk from germs? We won't be exchanging toys, the plug will be hers and the massager mine and we're also not at the level of any kind of full insertion, the plug will just be a rear pressure/vibrator for now, but we heard the plug shape is safest for preventing accidents and it'll be available if we decide to go farther.

For the toys we already have for non-anal, we usually just soap and water before and after. We don't have any specific toy cleaner solutions or use bleach or anything.

Can anal toys be cleaned the same way or do they require special stuff?


r/sex 13h ago

Masturbation Direct clit stimulation just feels like pressure. What should I try next?

3 Upvotes

I’m looking for actionable advice, not a diagnosis.

I feel like my vagina is small/tight. Insertion can be uncomfortable. I have had PIV before with a larger partner, so it’s possible for me, but it’s been a long time.

When I masturbate, direct contact on my clitoris usually feels like pressure, not pleasure. I haven’t really tried through-the-hood / indirect stimulation or a low-intensity toy yet.

What would you try first: slower arousal, stimulation through the hood, a different angle/pressure, lube, or a specific kind of toy? Anything that helped after a long dry spell would also help.