So I (24F) recently had my first penetrative sexual experience and… y’all, is that it? 💀

I went on a date with a guy, things were going really well, and by the end I genuinely wanted to have sex with him. I went into it excited and with an open mind. Things started off well. We made out for a few minutes, he fingered me, I gave him a handy and oral, and he ate me out (he started off well, but towards the end it was just a whole mess).

Then we got to penetration and, I swear, I could barely feel anything. His length looked average, but maybe I need more girth? but I also believe in “it’s how you use it.” Unfortunately, I feel like he did not know how to use it. The only time I really felt anything was when he was thrusting harder and faster. The problem was he could only keep that up for maybe 10–20 seconds before he had to slow down because he was getting close to finishing.

We tried different positions, but I still wasn’t feeling much unless he was going hard and fast. It honestly felt like an out-of-body experience because it was 10 seconds of sensation, then 1 minute of nothingness, then 10 seconds of sensation again. Like “Oh! I can actually feel that!” and then nothing (& repeat). Meanwhile, I’ve used realistic dildos that have performed better (despite the arm cramps during to keep the angle right)

I wasn’t expecting penetration alone to make me orgasm cause I usually use a clit vibrator with my dildo, so I already knew I might need more stimulation. I just expected penetration itself to feel better than it did.

My best friend is very vocal about her sexual experiences, so maybe I hyped it up too much in my head. But people clearly enjoy sex enough to keep wanting more, so there HAS to be a version of this that makes sense to me. And everyone always told me your first time is supposed to be this sacred, meaningful experience that you’ll remember forever. Honestly, my reaction was more like, “Okay, that’s over. Let’s find something better that works.”

So for those who had an underwhelming first experience, did sex eventually get better once you found someone you were actually sexually compatible with? And for those who found their “match,” what made the difference? Was it technique, communication, anatomy, positions, or just finding someone who understood what worked for you? Because right now I’m wondering if I just had a bad first experience or if I’m missing something about why people love penetration so much.

TLDR: First time having penetrative sex and I barely felt anything. Is this just a bad first experience, or does finding the right sexual partner really make that much of a difference?

Help 😭
I (f31) have finally started to be comfortable exploring anal play with my husband (m31). I’ve gotten to where I’m okay with, and enjoy, tongue play and plugs but the last few times we’ve used plugs I’ve woken up the next morning with hemorrhoids 😭.
I don’t know what to do or how to prevent them. We use lube, go slow and there’s no friction other than inserting and removing when finished.
Does anyone know what I can do? I don’t want to hate this when it was finally starting to be enjoyable.

Listen I know I'm a bit of a pillow princess its my favorite. But sometimes when someone says it i just like kind of cringe and don't want that label. My head game is fantastic so I do that often and I enjoy that but when it comes to i guess me taking more control in sec like on top i feel like I'm so distracted by my insecurities that I'm just not doing good. I feel like I'm not making the motions right not going fast enough without legs cramping or getting tired and just feel like I'm looking gross i always want to hop off. 🙃 any advice or tips on things to do or different things to try

Hello everyone, over a year ago our first kid was born, obviously sex life is stalled for almost 2 years. Also, I was away for over 9 months after that baby was born, due to work. We're together now, but sex life is not like before. We both understand this. Wife (32f) asked me (35m) to try different things in the bedroom to revive the sex life like bringing a projector in the room, being recorded and uploading them online (faceless obviously), and also added if I'm interested to bring another woman in the room, initially I thought it's a trap but after asking her couple of times in a different way, straight forward, she said that she's serious about it but only one condition that she must be the part of the threesome, and I also asked that by doing this whether she wants to invite a guy for her in the future or what, she refused and said that she's not interested in MMF and only FMF, she's not bisexual though, so even the idea of being played with another woman in the threesome was rejected by her. I'm a bit confused about this. Idk what to do?

My husband and I are in a bit dead bedroom situation. His sex drive has decreased dramatically, and I don’t know why. Nothing that I know has changed. No new stress, health conditions, or other events that may affect his libido. I’ve asked countless times if he has any kinks or fetishes he wants to explore or anything! He always says “nothing”. Well that was bs. I was using his computer (he has a windows and I have a Mac so sometimes I need to use it for programs), and well I just decided to look in his browser history. What do you know, there’s fetish porn. I’am not going to disclose what it is, but it’s no way in the extreme of what someone could be in. I was, and I’am, livid. First, all the time this material was looked for suspiciously lines up with when we had discussions on the bedroom. 2nd he really decided that porn was better than a loving, real women who would do anything for him. He tried to justify saying it was a one time thing yatayah. I know I know. It’s not my right to make him confront it or for me to know it. But it’s beyond frustrating that he has this thing that could bring us much closer if he was just honest. So I guess what’s the next step in dealing with this? I know we need to communicate and right now he’s sleeping on the couch. Pls give advice

this will probably sound silly but im looking for genuine advice.
im bisexual and im terrified of giving head to men due to bad past experiences with hygiene. of course i know not everyone is filthy like that but for some reason, the organ itself scares me now. i dont wanna be like this because i know it can make sex with me dreadful, but the last time i gave a guy a head (because he asked for it), he was straight out of the shower and i could still kinda smell the natural odor of the organ. im hoping that if i meet a guy i really really like i will get over this fear as the desire to pleasure him will be stronger.
i even spent a good amount of time pondering about the possibility of me being a lesbian since i’m very attracted to the female organs, but male organs scare the shit out of me. i like having sex with men IF i dont have to see the penis lol. what do i do?

A while ago I took a quiz with a past partner where we filled out things we were and were not interesated in trying. It ended up being a lot of fun, and I'd like to try it again

Does anyone have a quiz they would reccomend?

Basically what the post says, i'm in some "sex positive" circles. I want to communicate how i am sexually. So i found "service top" fit pretty well. But its very gay coded apparently, as i'm a straight man, i dont want to send out the wrong signals. Will this get the message across? Is there another term? Or is "service top" just a gay thing?

Has anyone experienced this or knows the term for it? My wife can only get aroused in very aesthetic fancy expensive looking places.

Obviously not everyone is into voyeurism or a BDSM aesthetic, but I can’t find the term for people who require a “pretty” atmosphere.

My bf easily cums through handjobs but not blowjobs due to personal preference and is constantly rock hard around me but when it gets to actual PIV sex he goes soft inside of me or gets soft before I can even put it in.

He’s likely not used to wearing condoms as he is a virgin, however I am not. Watching him cum through handjobs and being very attracted to him doesn’t help. My libido is very high and this is causing me to become very sexually frustrated as I cannot even have sex with him and he doesn’t eat me out or finger me either. Selfishly I find myself upset because I feel like my needs aren’t being looked after especially because we do not see one another often.

He listed a few reasons as to why he goes soft and it included the condom, anxiety and nerves about pleasing me. He said he gets in his head even though I reassured him. This is the third time this has happened. There are so many fears running in my head whether it’s my attractiveness, his habits or even what he truly likes. I just don’t know what to do or how to help him because I’d love to have sex with him if I could.

im actually very upset cuz i can never get aroused or wet enough to actually have sex and it's making me very frustrated with myself. i have gotten so aroused to the point of getting vaginal cramps at random ass times and places with my partner but when we're actually trying to get intimate i feel absolutely nothing and feel horribly guilty about it. im tired of my body not being comfortable enough or whatever tf like i do not care i don't know what to do. this has been the same with every guy I've been with but I'm specifically very attracted to my current boyfriend and want to have sex with him but feel guilty asf cus it doesn't happen because of me like what do i do genuinely

I’m looking for actionable advice, not a diagnosis.

I feel like my vagina is small/tight. Insertion can be uncomfortable. I have had PIV before with a larger partner, so it’s possible for me, but it’s been a long time.

When I masturbate, direct contact on my clitoris usually feels like pressure, not pleasure. I haven’t really tried through-the-hood / indirect stimulation or a low-intensity toy yet.

What would you try first: slower arousal, stimulation through the hood, a different angle/pressure, lube, or a specific kind of toy? Anything that helped after a long dry spell would also help.

So my Boyfriend and I (19&18) tried getting intimate with each other for the first time. We’re both newbies, but we do want to improve.

So we started with lots of kissing and he had his hands on my chest. We tried grinding, and it seemed pretty good for him, but for me it kinda just felt like my vulva was getting crushed. It got pretty tiring pretty quickly and my brain was kinda trying to slip away to other things.

Then we undressed even more and I tried guiding his fingers onto my clit, but it was honestly difficult to guide someone else’s hand, and it just didn’t really do it for me.

We then tried focusing on him and I fumbled a bit (mostly surprised at the feel of a penis, I guess) and he also couldn’t „keep it up“. Obviously, it could be nerves, or exhaustion, but is there a way to make it all less nerve wracking?

So ouches on both our egos, but we laughed it off and promised to try again next time. I just don’t quite know how to stay in the right mind space, and also summon the courage to really explore(?) him.

Have a wonderful day/night :)

TLDR: First time and I didn’t feel any pleasure and he couldn’t keep it up, any tips?

I had a bad experience with my first sexual relationship and I think it keeps me from letting go when I'm with my husband. How do I work past this mental block? To put it out there...I empty my bladder before sex just to make sure but I'm still going to be MORTIFIED if something happens. I just don't know what to do. Also, I feel like it's a control thing. I don't know what I'm trying to say. I just know that I don't think I've ever finished and if I've been close....I stop. Even when he's trying to keep it going.

so recently, when i orgasm clitorally it starts off normal, then at the tail end and immediately after there’s a strange pain in my pelvic area. it’s like a perfectly horizontal straight line through the middle of my mons pubis and it spreads like a cramp through my vagina and sometimes to my perianal area. the cramping feels like when you get bad menstrual cramps that go straight through to your asshole. the line of pain is dull but that lingers for a while after we’re done.

i have no pain during sex, oral or piv at all. in fact it’s been better than usual with my partner. we just hit the year mark and we’ve been fucking even more than usual 🎉 there’s no blood, no swelling, no odd discharge or dryness or anything else i’ve found when looking up pelvic pain.

i’m on a combo birth control that i take continuously so i’m not sure if it could be hormonal? and i do kegels pretty regularly so i don’t think it’s weak pelvic muscles?

i’m at a loss, it’s very annoying being met with essentially horrible period cramps every time i come. any advice or experiences would really help, thank you

Long story short, I'm allergic to latex, my partner doesn't fit anything we've been able to find in stores. Is there any non latex condoms that go up to like 70mm? I'm lost and feeling really bummed. I don't wanna use female condoms as it's uncomfortable for me. But my partner does not fit anything we can find that's non latex

I (23M) have been sexually active for a year. I’ve only had sex with one person which is my current girlfriend.
My issue is that Sex feels quite good but not the point where I can cum. I do feel excited, I do get hard and have no problem in that area but I cannot cum from the sensation of sex with my gf even though it feels quite good. Important to note that I can only cum when I flex my leg muscles. Which I think flex my pelvic and
Allows for more sensation.

There have been moments where I came more « naturally » : After a month without sex and masturbation, I had sex with my gf and came pretty quickly.

Here are my hypothesis:

1) I have been masturbating for 9 years now, even if I always used lube I know that death grip can still happens

2) There is nothing wrong and that’s just what sex is

If it’s the first, I think that masturbating with a light touch or with a hard shell pocket pussy should be beneficial to train my brain to more realistic sensations.

Did someone experience the same thing ? If so how to increase my sensations ?

My wife and I are starting to get into light anal play in supplement with other stuff and I want to get a couple vibrating toys for dedicated anal use (vibrating buttplug and prostate massager ​from PlusOne) and I'm just wondering if they need special cleaning with the extra risk from germs? We won't be exchanging toys, the plug will be hers and the massager mine and we're also not at the level of any kind of full insertion, the plug will just be a rear pressure/vibrator for now, but we heard the plug shape is safest for preventing accidents and it'll be available if we decide to go farther.

For the toys we already have for non-anal, we usually just soap and water before and after. We don't have any specific toy cleaner solutions or use bleach or anything.

Can anal toys be cleaned the same way or do they require special stuff?

I’m in a monogamous new relationship and I want us to try different things in our sex life. However I don’t really know what to try. I spent ages 22-30 in a dead bedroom relationship and have only slept with a couple guys since. I don’t want us to watch porn for ideas as I’m pretty anti-porn altogether. How can I raise this topic to him and how can we find out different things to try?

The worst part is that I know I am handsome, VERY tall (6'5/195cm), attractive face. Women have told me several times. Now this is all nice and works in my favor... until I actually get in the bed. I am literally what the average girl dreams of yet it works against me in certain situations.

I don't think anyone here is interested about my life novel or backstory, but let's just say that in the past I haven't really been focusing on girls and sex. And now it's starting to show, both in my flirting skills and in the bedroom.

I was also a heavy porn consumer until about 2 weeks ago where I really decided to cut back on it and only use my hands, lube, and nothing else. No screens, nothing. And this ONLY when I really need to release as a man, not from the smallest impulse like a monkey.

I had a girl I was seeing recently ask me "where else are you ticklish?" while tickling my abs and laying in bed next to me, and I said "my legs"... I think you can guess her reaction.

The only time I had a full sexual experience was with my ex, and I was 24 then. So yes, for 24 whole years I have not been in bed with a woman. Luckily, according to her reactions, my oral and finger game is on point, but when it comes to penetration... no experience, nada, zero. This is because I was going softer each time I was about to slide it inside. This was definitely in part of performance anxiety, but I believe also that my brain (not me) expected stuff you see in porn or something, and it just wasn't like that.

But now I really, genuinely want to make a step to change this and have no idea how aside from the obvious quitting porn, which I am actively fighting.

Do I just find a nice, maybe older escort and tell her the situation and ask for patience and advice? Spam dating apps and keep going out until eventually I get enough experience, and use the first girls I find as unfortunate "practice", both socially and the bedroom? I'm just spitballing here, let me know what you think.

My girlfriend and I have been together for around 13 months, and our sex has usually been great. We would see each other almost every weekend and have sex countless times over the weekend. Morning, afternoon, night, you name it. We couldn’t get enough of each other. A few months ago we decided I would move in with her in the place she was already renting. This is where things changed.

We both work full time so understandably most people aren’t going to be having sex every day, but it’s completely shifted. At the start it dropped down to 4 times per week, then 3, and now we only do it once or twice a week. Everything else is great in our relationship, at least so I think.

When I try talking to her about it she tries to justify it with work pressure and not being in the mood. I try to understand her, but at the same time it’s very hard for me. My sex drive has always been high, and the fact that I have to sleep next to a woman who I love and who is extremely attractive, who doesn’t want to have sex most nights like I do, drives me insane. It’s not something I want to break up with her for because I love her a lot and our relationship is great. It’s just this.

TLDR Am I being dramatic? Any advice?

When a girl is lying on me (M), and we are both face up & clothed, and I hip thrust to bounce her, she gets turned on

1. ⁠why is this? I'm not stimulating her vagina externally (+ it's covered by her pants). Is it internal stimulation, or maybe psychological from the motion, or arousal from her hips/butt?)
   
2. ⁠is it dangerous to do this for my penis (hard or soft)? I can tolerate it but it doesn't necessarily feel good and it sometimes gets squished. Any recommended changes ( eg move her sideways more onto a knee/thigh and use that instead to bounce)?