I don't even know how to phrase this lol. 18F here, btw. Turned 18 a few months ago ✌🏼💔 I've always had a really hard time differentiating between platonic relationships, and romantic ones, because, for a lack of a better way to put it, I was a major nerd as a kid, and didn't have many friends. That meant, as I got older, the few friends I did end up making led to me often confusing friendly affection for something more. Now I know I'm queer, have known since I was fourteen. Messed around with both boys and girls, and most experiences were good. BUT. There's this girl. She's my best friend. Kinda? We only really became friends because we both moved to this country around the same time, and most of our year mates didn't really speak English all too well. Even still, I just can't comprehend the fact that she actually likes spending time with me. Actively seeks me out. It's been a little over two years now, and we're crazy close. She spent last Christmas with my family, and I spent the New Year with hers. Whenever my parents friends invite us out, she usually comes along. The problem is, I'd normally never take a friend along. Before we moved, the only people I'd bring along to dinners/parties, and the like, would be whoever I was dating at the time. Never just a friend, except for maybe once, when I was much younger. So that's one line already crossed. The second problem is that she's always cuddling up to me. We'll be sitting on the train, in a bus, hell, even on my couch, and she'll naturally put her head on my shoulder. I HATE her music taste, but I always take the earbud she offers me, and listen to whatever she wants(usually on the bus, or on one of our occasional walks). Hell, when I turned eighteen, she showed up at my door, with her Mother, an ice cream cake she knew I'd love, balloons, and a silly little party hat and sash. (Fun fact, I had just gotten home from dinner with another friend, and I was wearing ratty tatty torn pyjamas. Not fun. I've never gotten dressed as fast as I did that day lol.) We cut the cake, and then her Mother, my Dad, Grandmum and Aunt were talking, so we snuck off to my Grandmum's room(they were sat in my room). We laid on the floor, staring up at the ceiling, and I damn near fell asleep. Barely weeks before that we had gone stargazing in the forest near where we live. A makeshift picnic, with these egg and cheese muffin sandwiches, and cider(which she surprisingly liked!!) Then we lay down on the blanket, a little ways from the picnic tables, and stayed there till it was nearing midnight. There's multiple instances like this, little things where I can't tell if I'm love with her, or just happy to have a good friend after so long. There was Christmas. Where we had seperate beds to sleep in, but she insisted we cuddle while we watch a movie. I took a selfie to send to my cousin, who I'm really close with. My Aunt ended up seeing the selfie. Which led to the whole family getting into it. I got a whole “it's okay and we love you regardless” speech from a different Aunt. Then there was the time we went to go visit my parents friends. They're fairly well off, and live a little way from the main city, so we had to take the train halfway, and then a cab. We were sitting on the lower deck, but my Mum insisted we go check the upper deck out(not a train with assigned seats, it's public transport lol). So we did. Sat opposite this nice lady who made small talk with us. Then she left. And, as per usual, we were sharing her earbuds. And her head was on my shoulder. And this old, grumpy looking white lady sat down where that nice angolan lady was sat. Aaaaaand then the looks started. Sure, it didn't help that I had mad short hair at the time, genuinely near a buzzcut, and the eyebrow and lip piercings I have scream lezzie, but still. There were plenty of other seats. She kept giving us the stink eye, until our stop came, and we made our way downstairs. I could genuínely go on and on AND ON about how many times I've felt this weird right sensation in my chest, and I just don't know what to do. She's way out of my league, and I don't want to ruin our friendship. Plus, she says she's bi, but I don't think she'd ever go for somebody like me. She was mad popular, before we graduated, despite having joined almost at the end of our eleventh year. Literally everybody in her class(and my old class, I switched out halfway) adores her. I have like... Four friends, periodt. And she's one of them. Anyways, rant over. I just had to get this out because my sister is absolutely no fucking help whatsoever, and I'm going a little crazy not talking about this. I know I should like try to go meet other queer people my age, but the queer scene here is mostly people in their thirties, or older. Or they're fifteen. And I'm not a freak, so no fifteen year olds for me. And I've sworn off older women for now(mostly because, well, my family's barely come to terms with me being into women, I think they'd go up in flames if it was somebody that old.) Realistically, I need to just... Hangout with my other friends, and try to keep my mind off her.

I used to identify as gay but recently I thought I might be bi and got into a relationship with this girl and she's the sweetest, kindest person I've ever met. I don't think I was ever attracted to her though i thought the feeling would increase as we got to know each other but they just didn't and idk what to do. She says I 'saved' her from suicide and I'm glad she's still alive but I'm scared if I break up with her she'll do something bad. She's already talking about our future together and having kids and being married but I don't wanna do that. I'm scared bc I kinda have a crush on someone else who's fem presenting and im scares shell think that I just wanted an excuse to break up with her that doesn't make me look like a dick and idk what to do. I wanna still be friends with her as we have so much in common but I'm scared she won't wanna see me anymore. Please give me advice

These days, it may seem like there's a 'right' and 'wrong' age to discover your true self. Scrolling through Reddit, there are many teens and adults who seem to have everything perfectly figured out, while others are lost, having no idea what they feel. Unlike school, your identity doesn't have a due date.

There is no 'perfect' age to figure out who you are. There's not a time limit on feeling like yourself. True happiness has no expiration date. There's no such thing as 'too early' or 'too late' to discover your identity. The time will come - or maybe it won't; but that doesn't make you any less valid than if it had.

For those who haven't discovered their identities, it can be hard to try to untangle yourself from the world of heteronormativity we live in. That's okay. As I said before, there's no deadline. You can take as much or as little time as you need.

Also, you don't 'owe' anything to anyone. Don't feel compelled to come out as soon as you feel like you've found yourself. No one is waiting on you. Feel free to take your time, see how the labels feel before you share them with someone else.

As someone who has found their perfect label, I can guarantee the relief that comes with knowing who the real you is. That heavy weight is finally lifted from your shoulders, and you can feel free. It feels amazing to finally express yourself as you, not hiding behind a mask or shutting your real feelings away - excuse my cliché - in a closet.

You have an entire lifetime to discover yourself. There's no need for you to rush it. You're perfect, no matter your labels, and you can find validation in those you trust. You are beautiful, strong and worth every breath you take.

-Kae, Teenaged Poet (Omnisexual)

Im 17M and Bi. I haven't told anyone besides a close friend.

Idk how to tell my parents and even if I want to. I don't think anyone in my family and friends suspects I'm Bi ( atleast I think) so it would be kinda out of the blue.

My mother is in her 50s, she has told me multiple times to respect LGBT People and that she would have no problem if me or my siblings weren't straight. My dad's in his 60s, he's a bit more close minded, had a couple of rants about how he doesn't like "the woke pronoun stuff", but some of his friends are gay, he's very respectful to all the LGBT people ive seen him interact with and he also told me (just once tho)

That he wouldn't really have a problem with me or my siblings being not straight. I don't think they know. I hid it very well, and the fact that i don't have to pretend to like women made it easier. My grandparents however are i think more difficult. Both are catholic from traditionalist families, and even though they are politically left leaning and also have said they don't have anything against LGBT people i don't think they would really understand me or see me in the same light. I don't really know what to do or even how to start such a conversation.

Will people even see me in the same way anymore? Can I ever be recognised as more than just my sexuality? Any advice is appreciated

m a 17M and since about 1 year ago I’ve been questioning my sexuality. But around 6 months ago I just woke up one day and I kinda just realized I was just flat out gay and just stopped having feelings for women. And that has stayed true since, but recently I’ve felt pressured to find a girl to date. For example at my school in one of my classes a few in the kids there call me stuff like “Fag” and “gay” because I went to an all boys school(I’m not out to anyone in my life). And in the past I haven’t cared since I’ve been called stuff like this all my life by friends and such, but recently I’ve felt terrible about myself because of it for some reason. But because of stuff like this I’ve felt like I HAVE to find girls sexually attractive. When I’m walking in the halls and see a girl who I think is pretty I feel like I should find them sexually attractive but the thought just kinda grosses me out. And when I talk to women I feel a sense of nervousness because I feel like I SHOULD be hitting on her, or she thinks I am trying to hit on her. I don’t know if I may be attracted to women deep down but when I truly think about who I want to love I just can’t picture a woman at this point in my life and I really never could, but I thought it was the only option. It is worth noting before I realized i liked guys I watched straight porn and was addicted in the past, but always felt gross after watching it. I feel an compulsion 1 or 2 times a month to watch it at this point but feel disgusted and depressed as to me it feels like by watching it I’ll eventually be forced to having sex with a woman. I don’t know if I have some internalized issue with being straight?? But is there any question I can ask myself to figure this out?

I came here because I'm sure I'm not the only one who's notice this. Men, who are friends with men. We act rather close, sometimes that comes off as intimate. But for the love of all, why can't we clarify that??

Listen, I'd say when I make jokes in that vain I use certain wording and tone that suggests I'm not serious (as do some of my friends). But my crush, my GUY crush, he makes things so complicated.

Like I've heard how he jokes, I know his humor, and the way he talks with me in a "romantic light" is not that. But at the same time, I'm sure he's straight. There was this time, he was telling me (ME, MYSELF, and I) that he had a crush, but it was so personal that I thought he was confessing to me (given all we've "joked" about) but it turned out to just be a crush on his ex(?).

Tbh, I was kinda heartbroken. And what makes this worse is that he's even more bold in this flirting now! He's kissed my hand multiple times! And yes, I've done the same with others but in those cases they weren't real kisses (lips on skin) they were implied and joking.

But this didn't feel like that. I feel like I'm losing my mind and thinking too deep into this. He's said it himself (though not in direct context), he's straight.

I just want to know if anyone else gets my struggle, maybe share experiences of your own I just needed to rant and REALLY need to know what to do.

hello! i'm sorry if this has been asked before, but i really need a second opinion

my best friend knows i'm a lesbian but she's unsure about her own sexuality, she's also never been in a committed relationship.

we always smiled at each other and occasionally gave compliments before we ended up in a class together last semester and instantly clicked. she's been only hanging out with me ever since, and distanced herself from all of her other friends. i have no close friends at our college besides her so i'm not worried about her expecting me to do the same, but i don't understand why she disliked her old friends all of a sudden

she tries to hide it, but she gets visibly upset when i compliment other girls. she always jokes about how jealous she gets over me, but i don't think it's a joke anymore? i'm confused because she always told me she hated having friends who felt that way about her.

she sounds toxic when i phrase it that way but i promise she's an absolute angel, the sweetest person i have ever met. i just know her well enough to notice all these things.

if you've had a friend who liked you, what made you realize they had feelings for you? were there any obvious signs?

Hey, I'm 19y (F). I never doubted I was straight before, Always liked men and had attraction only with them. But, recently, i keep getting myself in those situations, i got attracted to a friend of mine and a Teacher. The friend wasn't that much, but the teacher, I'm sure I'm attracted to her, and I would totally be with her. The problem is, except for those 2 women I don't really feel attraction for most women, so I might be confusing it with admiration you know? To be honest, I don't feel attraction for most of lesbian women, except my teacher who is lesbian. I do not necessarily feel attracted when I see a woman with a great body, it's more about how she talks, her style, her smile, her political side, and a cute face and way to act. My teacher gets my attention because her style is masculine but her voice is sweet, her smile is sweet and she is sooo intelligent. But... I think if I'm bi I probably prefer men. I don't know, I just don't want to say I'm bi unless I'm really sure of it, because I know how many people invalidate the community. What do you guys think? Admiration or attraction?

Ps: I'm Brazilian and learning English, sorry for mistakes

ok sooo my bff's cousin, let's call him Logan, seemed super nice and chill and funny, and we have all the same classes, so I'm like hey he seems nice, I wanna be friends with him!

and we're talking a little more, boring stuff but fun, and fast forward to yesterday,

I forget how, but were talking about my bff. so I say, shes amazing, I'd marry her if we weren't bffs. and he gives me this SUPER weird look, and I say is the look bc were both girls or bc were (age), and he says bc you're girls I think.

but I figure, oh, hes super nice, I prolly heard him wrong, so I decide to clarify.

this morning I was like hey Logan, remember yesterday in PE blah blah blah, are you homophobic? and he goes, I don't know what that is. and I say, do you like gay ppl. he whispers, its against the bible.

BUDDY.

may I also mention that since ive told him I'm atheist he has tried to convert me MULTIPLE times and literally interrogated me abt how do I think the world happened? why is there christmas? and so now I'm just SO FRICKING UPSET

thanks for reading have a great day 😊

my friends want me to be more gay

(for context, I'm afab n my friends are amab and cis het) it used to be really obvious that i was gay two or three years ago by my physical appearance, like I cut my hair really short myself and I would wear the male uniforms because it wasn't against school rules technically, and I was only really active in class when our humanities lesson suddenly crashed into lgbtq politics etc.

Recently, I really got in touch with accepting my femininity (15f and I used to hate that I was a girl) so I took care of myself, really little things like washing my face everyday, taking care of my skin and hair, growing out my nails, decorating how I like and not being scared of pink and purple, 'girly things' like ribbons and coquette etc. (for myself)

Two of my friends sat me down a few days ago, told me that the group wanted me to be 'more gay' and said I was being too much of a woman. It happened before, where I would say something and they'd tell me stuff like 'that's a woman thing' or 'you're being a woman' where there was an expectation for me to throw away my femininity because I was gay, or because I was one of the boys. They want me to stop being feminine and present as more masc, because of what I assume to be fear that other people will think it's weird or because their parents are concerned (just a theory) I genuinely believe they are good people, and they've supported me regardless of my sexuality, helping me find a girlfriend etc, but I'm not sure what to do. They also made a list of everything they didn't like about me a few weeks ago and sent it to me. I don't want to cut them off or stop being friends with them but I also don't think they're the same people I used to be friends with.

I talked to a few other people and they agree they're not good people, but no real advice, just a place to vent. What should I do?

So we are both in the same friendgroup, talk pretty regularly at school, lately started texting a fair bit and stuff etc etc, and yeah, I'm really into him. He talks to me a bit differently than his other friends, like slightly more passive agressive but in a sarcastic way? But yeah anyhow I want to ask him out but I dont want to lose him as a friend nor make the friend group akward if he says no. He is most definately my type and i think i might be his (bit older than him, 6 pack, biceps etc etc) but yeah, just rlly dont wanna fuck ts up. Any advice???

So we are both in the same friendgroup, talk pretty regularly at school, lately started texting a fair bit and stuff etc etc, and yeah, I'm really into him. He talks to me a bit differently than his other friends, like slightly more passive agressive but in a sarcastic way? But yeah anyhow I want to ask him out but I dont want to lose him as a friend nor make the friend group akward if he says no. He is most definately my type and i think i might be his (bit older than him, 6 pack, biceps etc etc) but yeah, just rlly dont wanna fuck ts up. Any advice???

Siento que tal vez me lo tomé muy personal porque pertenezco a la comunidad pero ya lo habia escuchado hacer varias "bromas" de ese tipo muchas veces y pues un dia simplemente decidí pues ya no hablarle (quiero aclarar que el no sabe de mi orientación), que era un poco difícil porque vamos en el mismo salón y está en mi grupo de amigos, pero le deje de hablar de poco en poco y ya ahora solo le hablo si es como un tema de la escuela o así.

Ahora que le deje de hablar como que me pregunto por qué le hablaba si es como tudo lo que no quiero en un amigo, pero bueno hice mal?

Ive always been jealous of women my whole life and almost everything that came with being a girl felt better to me, because of this ive thought maybe im meant to be a girl. But so far all the people who have transitioned that ive talked to were uncomfortable and felt out of place before transitioning. I dont think i feel uncomfortable as a guy, i dont feel like a woman trapped in a guys body i just feel like a regular guy. All of this has kind of convinced me that i dont want to transition, but even still, i really wish i was just born a girl it feels almost unfair that i can never be born as a girl. I do experience some dysphoria with my broader shoulders and thick body hair but i feel like that could just be body dysphoria and it doesnt feel as bad as some people describe dysphoria as. Has anybody gone through anything similar? Sorry if i dont make sense its really late here :<

I’ve always thought I liked girls, ever since I was around elementary. I was bi-curious and would ask people what bisexual meant, and eventually labeled myself bisexual around that time. Now, I don’t think I’m attracted to men at all. I’ve talked to guys before, but I felt guilty because I wasn’t attracted to them. I’ve also identified as pansexual, unlabeled, and even nonbinary, and I’ve tried to come out as a lesbian but can’t even type the word comfortably.

I’ve also wondered if I might be asexual because I’m confused about attraction and what I actually feel. At the same time, I know that I want to love someone, be loved, and have a romantic relationship someday. I can imagine myself being in a relationship with a girl, but the thought of being with a guy makes me uncomfortable, even though I sometimes wonder if I’m physically attracted to guys.

I come from a Roman Catholic family, which makes me feel conflicted about liking girls. I find comfort in queer movies, shows, books, and communities, although my parents sometimes call me “weird” for it.

I feel physically attracted to guys, but I can’t imagine dating or marrying one. With girls, I can clearly picture a future together. However, I’m scared of coming out because I don’t know if my parents, family, friends, or even myself would accept it.

Overall, I’m very confused and lost about my sexuality. I know I may still be young, but I feel left out when I see people my age dating and being comfortable with their sexuality.

Anyhow, advice and help would be very much appreciated :)

PLEASE help me

So I go by Raven, and I'm Nonbinary. I was outed by a teacher last year and my parents were....not happy. They want me to go by my deadname in school this year, and refuse to call me by my preferred name. But I don't want to. I'm just scared of them finding out. What do I do. Please.

Hello, I'm a 17 year old guy who has no experience with having a crush.

I'm gay, haven't come out yet, and very new to being in love. For some reason, I never developed a "first crush" until a little over half a year ago. Unfortunately that crush is on my best friend who has never openly said his sexuality but I have a feeling that he is probably straight.

I'm not at all sure what to do. I love to be logical and play every scenario out in my head and then devise a plan to counter that. But I also know that love isn't always completely logical. Maybe it's my self doubt but every outcome I can imagine ends with him wanting to never see or talk to me again.

It might be over before it even started. A couple weeks ago, me and some of our mutual friends went to see The Odyssey. When I set my outer shirt down in the chair next to him, I think I saw a frown appear on his face, I might have just been seeing things but I'm not sure anymore, I also kinda feel like he's been ignoring my messages and stuff recently.

I honestly don't know what I would do without him, he's my motivation to get out of bed in the morning, to workout, to do anything. I don't want to do anything that would hurt the people I care about but every day I feel like I'm sinking more and more.

He's my favorite person. I really don't want to lose him.

I, am trans (MtF), lets get that out of the way first

lets go with... Luke as my deadname, and Hazel as my chosen name for this...

of course, in all of the school systems, Luke's written in it...

when we went bowling for the first day of school, they needed my name to put it in, it was just me and a few others there that I had in some of my classes

I was thinking: just bite the dust and say luke, it'll be easier

I ACCIDENTALLY SAY: "oh just put Hazel there, it's fine"

now everyone in my year and some teachers could see that and the question is: how long till I get people asking why :3

also somehow nobody noticed me having heart earrings in... but its fine

About a year ago, I thought that I was probably straight. Then, I started having occasional dreams where I had a boyfriend… (I’m a guy btw) and I actually enjoyed those dreams, but I wasn’t attracted to men in real life (at that point), so I just thought that I enjoyed the idea of having a bf / gf, and that I wasn’t actually attracted to guys.

But then, I actually felt attraction to someone I knew. He’s a guy around my age and he’s a somewhat distant friend. Now it wasn’t like a crush or anything, just a moment where I looked at him and thought “woah”. And since then similar sorts of things have happened increasingly more regularly, but with more guys. Like more recently my family dragged me on holiday, and I’ve seen some guys, and I thought that they were kinda hot. And sometimes when I’m awake at night I’ll imagine myself having a boyfriend and it just feels right in some way. I think it’s important to mention that whenever I think of having the same relationship but with a girl, I just don’t feel the same way.

Anyway, any advice is appreciated, especially if anyone has had similar experiences of their own, thanks.

ok so im gonna explain my identity

im trans ftm, gender queer and gender flux, and im a femboy. im pansexual and panromantic and demiromantic . i use xe xim xis ximself pronouns

AGHHHH

ALSO im in need of masc and gender neutral name and pronouns suggestions bc idrk if mine fit???

utterly confused about my sexuality

I've been overthinking a whole lot this past summer break (too much free time lol). For the past month and a half, every day I wake up and ponder on my sexuality. I'm comfortable in my gender identity as a cis woman, so I don't think that's obstructing my perspective on this. I like women both sexualy and romantically, which I have always felt. I've had 3 crushes, all of which were my best friends, who were also girls. For a while, I tried to suppress my feelings towards girls because of religious guilt and homophobia in my family. I tried to like guys as well, but I couldn't see anything past physical aspects. The only men I'm attracted to physically are very feminine, to the point where my friends asked me if they were a boy or girl. I've never really liked a guy in person, though. Mostly celebrities or tiktokers or something of the likes. Anyway, I like women and non-binary people who are feminine too. Masculinity in itself is unattractive t o me. I'm extremely conflicted, and none of my friends can figure it out either. All I want is some sort of label so that I can settle. Any ideas?

So I remember in 5th grade we had a "sex ed" (taught us about body hair, periods and safe relationships) somehow the topic shifted to how baby's are made. The teacher said basically "Baby's are made when the egg is fertilized by the sperm. You kids need to remember that you exist only to have children. Girls body's are made strictly to carry the child and a boys body is made to fertilize the egg." I don't know if that was supposed to be homophobic but it made me really uncomfortable because I took that as her saying that if we don't have kids we have no purpose in life and because the fact it's being taught by a licensed educator. It's been on my mind for years and bothers me as someone who transmasc, gay and not willing to carry child at any age​​, idk if I'm over reacting though

:P (mods deleted it then brought it back somehow few days after deleting it....so ig this update - I did it, she just confused af and says i should think abt it more....nahhh...nah mom)

I’m a 17M and around 1 year ago I started having an attraction to men, and 6 months ago I realized that I was just straight up gay. Before I realized I was gay I was heavily addicted to porn(mainly straight) but I was never really into girls in real life. I tried talking to and dating women, but I just could never get myself to be interested in women. But for some reason I still sometimes watch straight porn. But when I do I really only think about guys. And afterwards I feel like almost throwing up. After I watch it I genuinely just kinda feel grossed out. I personally identify with the term “gay” more as I don’t really want to date, marry, or sleep with a woman at all. I kinda get depressed at the thought of ending up with a woman as I feel like I could never be truly happy like I could be with a guy. I daydream and constantly think about myself getting old with the guy of my dreams. I watch gay porn aswell and more often, I watch that most of the time but around once every 2 weeks I watch straight stuff . I think it may be porn addiction and just wanting to see something different than normal. But I also think it may be my feeling of wanting my life to be “normal” like before