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Hello,

I've identified as a lesbian from 11 to 22 years old. I never fell in love with a man before, I thought men looked good but I wasn't that much interested and I mostly dated women. When I was 22 I hooked up with a friend of mine, and God forgive me, that was the hottest and most romantic thing I ever experienced with a man and I haven't forgotten him since. He was a gym kind of guy and I can't forget his arms and his hairy chest.

Damn, after that I was hooking up with another guy and he had a little vein coming out of his arm and for some reason it would drive me crazy.

No need to comment on my attraction to women when I think they are just splendid and their softness is exquisite.

Fuck, I am bi...

When do you all realized you were bi? I want details! 🧐

How many of you all agree that bisexuality is a blessing. If yes, then upvote

So basically i go to a very catholic, traditional and frankly homophobic school. I know a few people who are also bi but they havent really came out yet. Im terrified of coming out because most of my friends are homophobic. My family is also religious and i know my brother and sister would make fun of me for it (Brother,19 Sister,18) My extended family is also incredibly religious and unbelievably homophobic. Also ive kind of noticed a stigma around where im from (im not sure if this also occurs at other places) but if a man is bisexual he is considered gay but if a girl is she is considered straight. I dont care if people consider me gay but i know id face torment from it.

I know ive went on a bit of a rant, but if anyone has any advice, id love to hear it

I’m a bi woman and I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 years. He’s straight and lately I keep thinking I’d probably be happier with a bisexual guy, but I can’t work out if that’s actually about bisexuality or if I’m just becoming unhappy in my relationship.

Before I met him I was 100% planning to date women. I’ve had to remind him a few times that I’m bisexual and that if I hadn’t met him I probably would have had a girlfriend. He can also be a bit low key homophobic sometimes which obviously doesn’t help.

I think one of the things I’m struggling with is that some of his really stereotypically straight man behaviour gives me the ick. He can be very masculine in a way that feels performative sometimes, gets insanely emotional over football, etc, and I just find myself wishing I was with a guy who was more comfortable with femininity and queerness.

We also haven’t had sex in a really long time, mostly because I just don’t feel very sexually attracted to him at the moment. I think when he says things that upset me they stay with me way longer than he realises. He seems to think if we argue and then make up, everything just goes back to normal, whereas for me I’ll still be thinking about something he said months later.
Like he’s made comments about my weight before and I still think about them every time I look at myself now. To him I think that conversation is just over and done with, but for me it changed how I feel around him and how attractive I feel.

Then last night we had this stupid argument about the bathroom which I know sounds minor but it really wound me up.
He gets piss around the toilet all the time and then keeps asking why the bathroom smells. Last night he asked again and I snapped and basically said “because it smells like piss, because you keep pissing on the toilet.”
Then he asked me how he was supposed to clean it and I got even more annoyed because we’ve lived together for like 3/4 years and I’ve told him multiple times how to clean the bathroom. He’s also literally said before that I clean the bathroom better than him, like i was born with better bathroom cleaning skills that him, what?!.
I basically said if I didn’t exist he would somehow work out how to clean a toilet, so why is it suddenly my responsibility to know more about cleaning than he does, he cleans the kitchen fine so he’s got common sense?

He then said I was being a bitch because he’d “only asked two questions”, why it smelled and how to clean it, but from my point of view they weren’t just two random questions because we’ve had the exact same conversations multiple times already.

And I KNOW this isn’t because he’s straight. A bisexual guy can obviously also be messy, misogynistic, lazy, masculine, annoying etc. I’m not imagining bisexual men as some magical perfect species lol.
But I keep thinking about being with a guy who is bi and more feminine/androgynous and just more comfortable with that side of himself. Someone I could talk about men and women being hot with, someone who actually understands bisexuality without me having to explain it, someone who doesn’t seem so invested in being A Man all the time.

Basically I think I want a slightly twinky bisexual boyfriend lol.

Except there’s ANOTHER layer because sometimes I genuinely can’t tell if I want to be with that kind of guy or if I want to be that kind of guy.
From about 14-17 I had a really wobbly period where I desperately wanted to be a boy. That mostly went away, but I still sometimes look at feminine/androgynous men and get that “do I want him or do I want to look like him?” thing.

So now I’m just confused about all of it.

Do I specifically prefer feminine/queer men?

Would I genuinely feel more understood dating another bisexual person?

Am I projecting everything I dislike about my boyfriend onto “straight men” and imagining a bi boyfriend would fix it?

Is some of this actually about my own gender expression?

Or am I just falling out of love with my boyfriend and trying to explain it through sexuality?

The annoying thing is I don’t actually particularly want to leave him. He is a good person in a lot of ways. He’s kind, stable, dependable, we’ve been together a long time and built a life together.

But then I also keep thinking… is kind and stable enough if I’m not sexually attracted to him anymore and I’m increasingly getting annoyed/resentful about parts of who he is?

And I’m also terrified that I’m just being really picky. Like what if I leave a fundamentally decent boyfriend because I’m imagining this perfect queer guy and then end up with someone way worse?

Would really love to hear from bi women who’ve dated both straight and bisexual men, or anyone who’s had the whole “do I want them or do I want to be them?” confusion.

Did dating another bisexual person actually feel different for you? And does this sound like a sexuality/compatibility thing or does it sound like I’m just unhappy in my relationship?

Here is also a reminder that Homoromantic/Heteromantic Bisexuals too! 😀

I am also Homoromatic Bisexual myself! 😀

Pre-zoloft I was fully lesbian, felt fully attracted to FEMME women and my entire life I had NEVER been attracted to men, after starting zoloft I started forming attraction for more masculine women, then men, I identified as bisexual for a long time(about a year) before realizing I hadn't been attracted to women for a long time/after starting zoloft. It worked, it practically cured my depression and anxiety but it literally turned me straight. Has ANYONE else experienced this?

The problem is i cant switch my meds because this was literally the ONLY side effect I delt with and there were absolutely 0 outside changes or severe influences that couldve caused this. i Need advice.

Hey guys! So I recently came out as a bi man and to be honest, it’s a little nerve racking. I am attracted to both men and women but I’m having trouble finding women who are open to bi men! I live in Austin, TX so women are a little more conservative here when it comes to dating. I don’t have any trouble with men at all. In fact, the men that I’ve come across love it and respect it. Any suggestions?

Honestly just why so hard? Idk maybe getting older is an issue of course. I am 50 and skinny not too horribly ugly I don’t think.
Honestly been bi for quite a long time. My problem was and still is just so picky with guys. Either in looks or they saying the most creepy weird stuff in the first sentence. And obviously not meeting someone 5 minutes after first chatting.
I’m attracted to younger skinny dudes. Not many around the Pittsburgh area tho. When I actually do find a guy. I share pic and then they have no interest. Brutal cycle.
Sooooo then a miracle happened. I actually dated a guy short term during the summer but he moved. I liked him a lot lot. Think about him so much now. And must say now that’s all I want and think about is actually wanting to be with a guy. Basically have like zero interest in women. And will admit I do feel attracted to more guys than I was before.

Just feel even more confused on being bi and wanting an actual BF.

Just ranting. And need to maybe figure out places around here to meet in person.

I am 20 years old and recently I have noticed that i maybe attracted to guys.I don't feel attracted to someone in person or anything but I do feel aroused and like the sexual images of the guys and they make me feel horny .But i am still confused about all of it .

reposting here with the hopes of getting more advice!

i (f17), am about to start a new school this september and would love some tips.

i want to preface this by saying i understand that especially at this age, a lot of people don’t have themselves entirely figured out yet, may want to experiment or be closeted etc etc. i also know that there is no 100% reliable way to know if a girl is gay other than straight up asking (but that’s too scary i’m sorry).

i want to understand some mannerisms or traits that may point towards a girl being into girls and GENUINELY. at this age, i feel as though there are a lot of people who pretend to be bi for clout or for male attention (i know it is 100% an individuals business to identify how THEY want to but it can get quite frustrating at times).

i would also like help in how to gently introduce that i like girls to people (mostly so that i can talk about my crushes with my friends the same way they can talk to each other about boys). i feel as though i am kinda fortunate in the sense that i think it’s quite obvious i’m wlw IF you’re looking for it. i generally wear clothes with a more masculine silhouette, but i would argue i still look pretty feminine. idk i think theres something about me that would read pretty obviously as gay to somebody who was really trying to guess (i hope).

im pretty shy and too nervous to flirt with girls without being sure i at least have a shot. (sidenote: i usually go for feminine girls, and hence am the slightly more masculine one in the dynamic, sometimes i feel like i am expected to ‘be in charge’ when in reality i want someone else to guide me. are there any girls who actually like this/find this endearing?)

any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you!

TL;DR: i am too shy flirt with girls without knowing they are into girls or asking directly, any hints or giveaways?

Some things I've noticed: Folks on this sub tend to assume that when I say "my husband" I must be a woman. Or when I note that I am a man and I am married/in a LTR my partner is a woman. I 100% of the time need to specify that I am a bi man in a relationship with another man.

When people talk about bi men being assumed to be gay - it REALLY borders on (or crosses into) homophobia. Like it's simply bad to be seen as gay. I'm with a guy, we are assumed to be gay and I welcome that assumption. I think it's important to show that two men can be together for 3 decades. I fought for years to have this relationship recognized and respected.

There are experiences are perspectives that are different when one has experienced first hand homophobic violence, stigma, and discrimination. These perspectives are often down voted, dismissed, ignored, or (my favorite) accused of being biphobic. I'm not saying that folks who aren't/haven't been in same-sex/gender relationships don't experience homophobia or biphobia, but I am saying that the experience will be different when one is in a relationship that is visibly queer.

It also feels like any criticism of cishet people meets similar reactions as above. This is especially true when the topic is how mean gay men and lesbians can be or pointing out that cishet people aren't always welcome in every queer space, and that needs to be OK.

So, I wonder are bi people in same sex relationships actually welcome in this sub? Are the experiences and perspectives of bi people who don't exist in "het-appearing" relationships actually valued?

Hello all! I'm a mom of 4. My 13 year old son just came home today in tears to tell me hes bi and a femboy (had to look that up). As his mom, I heard him, hugged him and told him I love him and nothing is wrong with him.
Now for the advice:
He asked me to not tell his father, which I won't. It's his story to tell not mine.
But when the time comes I know dad won't be so accepting. He is a very my son will be a strong man, man up, play football, go to the marines, lift, be powerful mindset.
How can I support my son more?
Also, what is a femboy?
How can I remind my son he's worthy?
He's battles with mental health so the last thing I want is for him to sink and feel worthless.
He's my son and I'll do anything for him but what dos and don't
What can I do to make him feel safe and loved?
What can I do to ensure when the time comes dads words don't cut deep?
Thank you

I don't know why, but to be honest, there are times that I hate being bisexual. Feeling like I like men—there are times that I wish I were fully gay 🥹. I know that being bisexual is good and cool; I don't know why I feel that way? Can you please tell me how to embrace my sexuality? 😭

La belleza del hombre. Yo soy feo y no ago esto para estár más guapo ni por un motivo similar. Es raro hablar de este tema, sobre todo si eres hombre y note gustan los chicos. Y yo les pregunto cómo hacen para estár guapos sin pretender directamente, es una pregunta trampa porque la supuesta belleza masculina sí existe pero es la misma que la femenina y eso ami no me vale, porque he visto la belleza masculina sin tener que ver directo con la de la mujer y me estoy metiendo en la boca del lobo porque siempre se comparte la belleza tanto para el hombre como para la mujer. Yo ago esto para visibilizar que también existe la belleza masculina aunque no se vea tan usado como en el cuerpo de la mujer sin perder el estereotipo hetero.

Tenía rabia de sacar este tema pero respeto cualquiera opinión cómo la mía.

Not looking for cheating advice. I’ve always been aware of my sexuality, but have only been in “Daytime” relationships with women. Just want to ask married people on here. Are you monogamous? Do you have permission to explore? Do you sneak? I just want to know how others are handling it.

Happy bi month! I’m new here and would like to make some friends!

I'm a woman liking a tomboy at 28, who is 5 years younger, for the first time. Is it ok? I'm straight, but now idk. Am I considered bisexual? Or is this just a phase? I should move on to this? Because, tbh, every time we interact, there is a strong physical attraction and strong eye contact that would really be tantalizing. it also does not help the fact that I was her superior and i feel it is unethical.

Its official, im bi !!!! :)))

So I thought about a lot of things for while and I realized a few things from a previous post with a similar title. As an androgynous guy, I would say I’m pretty niche, not many people are interested in me lol. I know I shouldn’t let that bother me and I should just hope for someone I’m attracted to and is attracted to me.

As for the things I realized:
It’s less about how I view myself and more how I deal with other people’s opinions I guess?? Because of how unpopular I am with most ppl and especially how my own(mlm) community, it starts feeling wrong and delusional for me to feel attractive?

There are a very few guys that I am attracted to and likewise but they only want hookups , which I’m not really looking for. Then I remember I don’t really know how to go about dating. Like do I just talk with guys I find attractive despite not knowing their orientation? Join clubs at my uni? Apps??? I really don’t know how ppl do it

I also haven’t rlly seen any guys I am attracted to explicitly say they are into guys like me unlike other groups of people, which might just be what I surround myself with but still my reality regardless.
I also just have this weird aspiration to be hot to everyone despite not being attracted to anyone.

I’m also posting here again cause of how hostile gay men can be with topics surrounding gnc men and how weirdly there are guys who look for these posts to make gnc men feel bad. I really do feel a lot safer and understood with the bi’s than the gays, wish I was also into women lol. As with the advice I’m really looking for, I kinda wanna know how dating or meeting ppl works after uni or what I can do during uni to meet ppl and hopefully a verse nerdy jock himbo oxymoron of a partner(one can dream). Or how to be okay accepting that I’m not desirable by many ppl and the guys I’m attracted to, cause sometimes I feel like I’m confirming it’s doomed it if I accept it. Also what do you find attractive in androgynous, feminine, or just men in general. Kinda wanna experiment with my style a bit and I need some ideas!

I know therapy and stuff would be helpful for me but rn I feel like I need some advice from people who lived life or just whoever rlly. I was kinda ostracized a bit my whole life for the same reasons lol so I never got the chance to learn stuff like this.

Again I know dating isn’t my whole life, its just something that’s on my mind more cause I have everything else locked in fs except dating, and I would love to be able to figure that out and have a verse nerdy jock himbo oxymoron of a partner to show things to.

So I'll get straight to the point. I'm 28 years old female who for my whole life identified as straight until I realized that maybe I'm not. I never had a meaningful relationships with men I've dated and any form of physical closeness felt off and flat to me. I thought maybe it was because of incompatibility until I realized this has been happening with every guys I've met. I thought something was wrong with me until I met a girl here and we became friends. After talking to her I realized I might be gayy. I mean we started hanging out and the more I met her and the more I connected with her I realized I'm into women. And I started thinking about why I never got hints about that but then I realized my type is not just a usual women but a masculine presenting woman. And since I have never met someone like that it might have been the reason why I never realized what I actually was. And the girl I was talking to was a masculine presenting lesbian. Now I'm having identity crisis regarding what my sexuality is. The girl I was talking to, things didnt work out with her so now I'm overthinking about my sexuality because I've been with guys only and have no queer friends. On top of that my parents want me to get married and are looking for a guy for me to get married which I didn't mind because I believed I was straight. Being straight was easy in the sense that there were plenty of people to date and marriage felt like a straightforward possibility. But now I don’t know how I’m supposed to meet women how dating works in the queer community or even how I’m supposed to come out. Honestly I’m kind of freaked out.