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u/cheeks52 16h ago
I wouldn't want that giant spikey thing swinging between my legs at terminal velocity
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u/cosmernautfourtwenty 16h ago
That's a lot of effort for fruit that smells like an open sweaty asshole.
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u/BradolfPittler1 15h ago
Haha I was typing 'all that effort..' and then saw the exact words I was looking for
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u/yobishthatsmonica 15h ago
It’s one of the best tasting open sweaty asshole and you’re missing out!
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u/Arquit3d 15h ago
Too specific 🤨
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u/Finno_ 13h ago
Unable to fact check.
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u/AdultishRaktajino 15h ago
Long story short, I Googled BBL to wonder WTF someone was referring to and “BBL smell” was a suggested search that came up.
Now I’m wondering if those who get a Brazilian butt lift smell like Durian.
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u/Mankie-Desu 15h ago
I have actually heard that there is a smell associated with it, but it isn’t a guarantee. It’s only sometimes…
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u/Generally_Tso_Tso 15h ago edited 14h ago
What is the average life expectancy for someone on earth when they become an open sweaty asshole harvester?
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u/Snoo_79157 13h ago
True. But it restores vitality beyond the consumers normal capacity, so it is definitely worth the trade off.
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u/lenyek_penyek 15h ago
Never smelled an open sweaty asshole before. So I cant compare the way you did. Im more curious about how you know its smell btw.
I reckon that ass also full of dingleberries yea?
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u/SuperSaiyanBlue 14h ago
It’s worst than an asshole full of dingleberries from a person who hasn’t bathed in weeks… some people even say the more smelly the more tasty the durian is… 😫… Guarantee you throw that into a crowd of people they will disperse quickly unless they crave durian they will starting drooling while hunting for the durian
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u/OwlComplex48 3h ago
As someone who has had durian a few times in SEA, it smells much stronger than it tastes, sort of like coffee and vanilla
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u/awstream 13h ago
It only smells like sweaty assholes to people who didn't grew up eating durian. It smells heavenly to most asians in the tropics.
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u/the_unschooled_play 13h ago
Not "most" Asians. With us it's still a mix. Durians are like the Asian equivalent of cilantro - you either have the gene or you don't. My husband's non-Asian and likes the durian. Conversely, I've had Asian family and friends who can't stand them.
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u/Squeekazu 11h ago
Yeah, I'm half Indonesian and my boyfriend is half Lao. I love durian, and he hates it - I have to sit outside to eat durian lol
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u/Mankie-Desu 15h ago
Yoooo, so I was dating this Thai girl, yeah? Her mother insisted I have some durian. She cooked for me a few times and, loving Thai food in general, was always pretty enthusiastic about it until… that.
I had to tell her no. I had to. It was such a Curb Your Enthusiasm moment.
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u/Streakflash 15h ago
how do you know what does a sweaty asshole smell like ?
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u/cosmernautfourtwenty 15h ago
I'm sorry, we can't all be perfect human specimens who don't sweat or have assholes.
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u/BreakAndRun79 15h ago
Why do they sound like they are traveling at mach Jesus? Is the burlap snapping like the end of a whip?
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u/TheDarkWave 15h ago
Yes.
To both.
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u/BreakAndRun79 15h ago
Do they harvest them from the upper atmosphere?
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u/TheDarkWave 15h ago
I don't have that information, but I do know that at that speed, at that weight, that's about 10k-20k psi of impact on a human skull so it might as well be.
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u/Insaneclown271 15h ago
It’s edited and slight sped up at the moment of impact.
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u/Prestigious_Shift245 15h ago
This is really cool but...let me get this straight:
This fruit smells horrible, looks weird, is as hard as a pineapple, has giant genuinely dangerous spikes all over it AND only grows as high as possible on a tree and humans STILL looked at that and went "Yeah, I think I'll eat that."
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u/koos_die_doos 15h ago
Starving people will try anything once.
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u/Prestigious_Shift245 15h ago
I know but still! The only way the Durian could have told humans to piss off more is if the fruit gave you violent explosive diarrhea 🤣
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u/Kris_Indicud 15h ago
…BOY YOU WON’t BELIEVE THIS….
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u/Prestigious_Shift245 14h ago
No fucking way, does it actually!?
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u/git0ffmylawnm8 14h ago
A fruit high in fibers and possibly fermentable sugars is most likely going to result in at least a gassy day. Probably gonna give you a cleansing too
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u/eifiontherelic 12h ago edited 8h ago
As someone who loves durian, the real foul stench isn't the fruit. The fruit genuinely doesn't stink for me. It's a strong, potent smell that sticks, for sure, but "stink" isn't the word I'd use for it.
That being said, the foul, unholy stench that this fruit inflicts on you is a whole other story. For a few days after consuming this majestic unit of a fruit, every pore and orifice your body has will release aromas so wretched you'd think it's the fruit's revenge for cutting it open. Your piss becomes the concentrated essence of fermented gym socks. Farts and burps are the burnt incense of neglected septic tanks. And every time you sit on the toilet, you can only wish so hard that your ass cheeks were fat enough to seal the 7th layer of hell you're about to unleash as you hold your breath in vain.
Final thoughts: 10/10 will eat whenever I can.
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u/DifferentSpecific 15h ago
You forgot to mention it smells so bad the Bangkok subway banned it permanently.
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u/j-steve- 6h ago
I stayed at a hotel that had a posted sign listing these fines:
- Smoking: $250
- Durian: $500
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u/Cullyism 12h ago
It's not “Bad smell, good taste” as a lot of people believe.
It's a polarising flavour. Many people think it's smells AND tastes terrible, while many others think it smells AND tastes delicious. It's rarer for someone to hate the smell but love the taste.
The only thing that everyone agrees is that the smell is incredibly strong and can last for hours or days.
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u/thinlySlicedPotatos 5h ago
And the burps! Don't forget that. It's the gift that just keeps giving!
I love the smell and taste. The first time I tried it it thought it looked like one of those giant African termite queens. And the texture was different from anything I'd ever tried before (like a termite queen I'd imagine). But the taste is so potent and unique, and I was hooked. With my kids, it took my oldest a few times but he loves it. My daughter, definitely not.
Note that Thai and Malaysian durians taste quite different. Thai durians are very sweet. Malaysian durians have a more complex flavor, with a hint of kerosene in my opinion. I much prefer Malaysian durians.
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u/WanderingSoxl 14h ago
The spectrum of liking durian is you either love it or you despise it. And a bit of Erm acksually, durian is way harder than pineapple, almost comparable to coconut without the husk, smells so bad it is banned for most public transport, and so dangerous people had actually died/badly injured because they got hit by it. Best way i can describe it as a person who hate it, it taste like milk ice cream with garlic and dried shrimp paste crushed into it.
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u/sjw_7 11h ago
We are the same species that still produces and eats Surströmming even though the smell makes people throw up. Or Balut )or Marmite which is just a hard no.
Some of the stuff we voluntarily put in our mouths makes me wonder not only how the first person thought it up but also managed to get others to eat it too.
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u/Aggressive_Sky8492 9h ago
As a Kiwi I can’t believe marmite is in the same conversation as those other foods 😆
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u/Cosmic_MicrowaveOven 15h ago
The stress this causes on the wrists and elbows of the catchers over time must be massive
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u/W3stlypipes 16h ago
Hideous spikes mask as fruit
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u/PedroNorthCA 15h ago
Who was the first person in history to find this sharp ass spiky ass fruit, figure out how to cut it open, smells the nasty insides, then EATS IT?!?! Brave soul lol
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u/Visual_Addendum_577 11h ago
Up there with the first person to try cheese "oh smelly lumpy things in my milk, think I'll eat that"
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u/inprocess13 15h ago
As an intended seed dispersal method, a lot of that type of fruit is hard core. At that speed and weight I'd imagine its insides go everywhere while alerting anything with olfactory receptors in a 50km2 radius.
I remember almost being KO'd/demolished by coconuts a tenth of the size of that thing.
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u/LittleStarClove 15h ago
The reason people catch them is that they crack open on impact (spoils faster). It's not enough to spread the fruit out, but animals smell it and seek it out. Tigers love durian, btw
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u/sleepyguy- 15h ago
I wonder how many people are deleted by durians every year.
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u/Abject-Pay4577 3h ago
Supposedly its very low around 6 per year by falling durians but looking at this video, I feel like that number is should be higher..
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u/ThereIsAJifForThat 16h ago
Stinky Death Balls...that's gonna end up as some bands name one day
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u/32FlavorsofCrazy 15h ago
They never show it so I’m not sure y’all understand just how fucking massive a durian tree dropping fruit that size would be. They’re enormous, and tall. These dudes are crazy for catching those MFers.
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u/seymonster1973 15h ago
What's crazy is that after generations of trying to figure out how to harvest these things, this was the best method people could come up with. I'd hate to see the failed methods.
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u/lenyek_penyek 15h ago
Nothing crazy. And it was never over generations.
The old method is just wait for it to fall, which IMO is the best. It will fall when its ripe enough to eat, or maybe another 1 to 2 days depending on the variety.
The fruit will not splatter as it fallz because the shell is hard. Sometimes a small crevice opens from the impact, making it easier to open the fruit later.
They do this because they are harvesting it early before ripe, and to make sure the fruit never touch the ground. Likely because they want to export the fruit and China being the biggest durian importer usually put those requirements to its exporters.
Stop circulating wrong facts.
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u/needmoarbass 15h ago
I’m just gonna go ahead and pop my shoulders out of their sockets real quick
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u/blobbleblab 15h ago
Not always like this! I have been to some plantations where they string up nets very high and angling down to a central collection point. Takes a lot of nets though and is quite a lot to maintain.
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u/Brokbakan 14h ago
Im sure some asian dude discovered gravity first but that durian fell onto his head.
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u/Douglasqqq 15h ago
"Damn, that was close. This one almost didn't taste like absolute fucking shit."
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u/SpiralizedCabbage 16h ago
The accuracy of the person throwing these to the ground is impressive.
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u/prunk 15h ago
They just cut them off the stem. It's the person catching it that has good aim.
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u/Ijustlovevideogames 15h ago
Is there a reason they don't just let them drop to the ground?
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u/quarantineolympics 15h ago
ITT: people who have never had a good durian. Not encouraging anyone though, it’s expensive enough as is
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u/forgettfulthinker 11h ago
I dont think catching giant sharp artillery that could easily break your skull is worth it for a fruit that smells like shit
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u/xav13r76 16h ago
Your freaking labrums
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u/redkinoko 15h ago
Nevermind that. I can't imagine that sort of action will do great for your wrists. 2-3 kg hurtling down and the way to catch it is a cloth supported by your wrists
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u/Namisaur 15h ago
I love durian but I cannot imagine signing up to catch these things...how the hell did durians evolve like this
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u/Responsible-Cow-2687 14h ago
I wonder who used to do it the old way... how long did it take until they learnt this life hack!!!
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u/Strict-Fig-5956 13h ago
Just getting absolutely crushed in the nuts for a fruit that makes you want to frow up….
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u/Death_X_2077 12h ago
Ok ik that durians kinda suck as a fruit but here in India we call it "kathal", and we actually prepare it as a dish and it FUCKING SLAPS FR
jus google "kathal ki sabzi" and see the result
IT A BANGER DISH ON GOD
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u/Fr0stweasel 11h ago
I had a durian cheesecake at a Japanese restaurant the other day. Once I got over the sensation that I was eating on an onion quiche that someone had farted bare arsed on, the flavour was really nice.
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u/TropicalIslandAlpaca 11h ago
The majority of durian farmers in Thailand and Indonesia cut them from the trees, but in Malaysia the standard practice is to wait for them to drop when fully ripe.
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u/PeterHolmes74 11h ago
What cracks me more is that durians can withstand temperatures higher than the melting point of steel.
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u/thelazyhandsome 10h ago
Not related to the clip but reading theae comments makes me feel like ahh the American thinks they ar better everyone else again.
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u/Gumuk_pindek 10h ago
It is not always harvested this whay. The proper way is to let is fall on their own. Only then will the durian fully ripe and taste good
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u/Gorlamei 10h ago
I used to think durian was an awful fruit, but after watching this it's actually dangerous and awful fruit.
Death by durian. Terrible way to go.
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u/CalmAlarm 10h ago
It's great that they showed the catchers but come on, not even a few seconds footage of the giant durian birds?
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u/Imaginary-Matter8602 10h ago
The last dude is a beast. Caught 3 in a row without dropping any of them
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u/Historical-Win-9014 9h ago
Probably a reason why these things should be left on the tree or hell or wherever they come from.
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u/FarAmphibian4236 9h ago
Can't they lower them with pulleys? God, imagine getting wrecked by that thing in the face, looks deadly
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u/Falconflyer75 7h ago
Anyone else have Super Mario Sunshine flashbacks
Man did I hate dealing with the Durain levels
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u/Small-Answer4946 7h ago
Random question, is the green stripe on the blanket random? Or does it have a purpose?
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u/KnownMagician3084 6h ago
Whole new perspective on catching cantaloupe and pumpkins. Someone cuts and tosses to someone else to load. If timing off it hurts but at least they don’t have spikes.
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u/intronert 5h ago
This looks like it should be a problem set in a first year physics class, mechanics section.
1. What is the initial potential energy of the durian?
2. What is the kinetic energy and momentum as it enters the burlap?
2a. What is the speed at the catch?
3. What is the angular momentum?
4. Where is the energy, momentum, and angular momentum going?
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