Freshly 18. I have my shift in 6 hours and I woke up sick as shit today. Headache, sinuses are killing me, kept waking up every 3 hours the previous night because my throat was so raw and painful. Struggle to talk. Keep coughing from dryness.

And idk. I haven't managed to go back to bed. I'm in so much mild and constant pain lmao. But I have a shift at my work-study in a couple hours so I gotta deal with that.

Amd no, I can't call in sick. I just got back from my birthday vacation with my family and it's a bad look. I'm in the USA. I don't think I'll be fired or anything, but still. I don't want to push it.

My current plan is to just bring an entire bag of cough drops with me and hope my ADHD medication makes me locked-in enough to not notice the pain as much lmao.

I feel like every time i try to get scrambled eggs at a restaurant for breakfast, they give me some type of folded over egg..thing. Very disappointing for me because the nearest waffle house is in Far-As-Fuck-Away-Ville. Until we meet again my sweet waffle house💔

I don't even know what to fucking say man, im just at a complete utter loss right now

I was looking for volunteering work at this youth centre in my area because I'm fucking bored and need some kinda sense of purpose, it was mainly just hanging back to make sure everything is okay and serving food and drinks and shit, the interview went okay at first so I thought I was in but then the guy interviewing me said "the only issue is that your appearance might make some people uncomfortable, would you be okay with just working in the kitchen?" and then the fucking woman who was with him like nodded her head in agreement, I was going to ask what about my appearance would make people uncomfortable but I just got so pissed and upset that I just kinda gave up and asked if I could outside and have a smoke and then just took off on my bike without saying a word, no goodbye or anything I just fucked off because I felt too dejected

The whole thing is just crazy for me, like I know I'm not going to make it on the cover of any magazines, and most people tell me that I look completely normal and average, and I really genuinely didn't think that I looked THAT bad, but when someone basically me away from a volunteering position because the way I look might make people uncomfortable, I don't even know what the fuck to think anymore, were people just lying to me the whole time saying I look fine? Were they just pricks? Did I just smell bad or project the wrong vibes? Like wtf man

(***To add a note to show the AI flag I'm receiving for this post is absurd: I am not dating women filming strangers at the gym so this is not related to "dating"- a note for the ai that assumes any critique of non-males is a "dating" complaint; an absolutely sexist assumption.)

If you are pointing a camera at someone you are also staring, its impossible to film without doing so, and even one did, they couldn't possibly know they filmed someone else staring without reviewing that footage... or you know, staring at it....

So how is this never discussed? The conversation is always just calling men creeps, but they aren't the ones filming strangers....

And, If you are posting it to the internet for thousands of others to stare with you how do you justify this?

I've heard frequently the defense from women on reddit that there is "no expectation of privacy in public", as a lawyer I understand intimately that this is the law in most places. What I don't understand is how do any of you guys fail to understand that lack of expectation of privacy works both ways? i.e. If you can film them, they can stare....

For a substantial amount of years now, I've had this spot on my skin that I noticed getting slightly larger and multicolor as time went by. Coupled with the fact that I've always felt like shit through all my life without a reason, I thought these could be the signs of skin cancer.

I never consulted any medical professionals about it, instead, I did some reaserch myself on whether my suspicions were right or not. But now, after what feels like 1-2 years of this spot not progressing, and feeling practically the same, I can't help but feel betrayed by my body. I thought I had a sure way to cut my lifespan in a nice spot, but apparently cancer doesn't advance when you want it to.

To be honest, idek if no fap has benefits. I hear from some many others experiences different encounters so idk for sure. Some people say it improves test and others disagree. I’m curious about what no fap does to improve bc it’s all over the self improvement community. I’m very skeptical bc it can also be a placebo effect. Does no fap actually work ? I would like to hear what people believe on this so called self improvement technique.

I've never liked the term. I'll say my supervisor, manager, or director but I've never liked the term "boss". Boss, to me, feels like I'm calling you King or Queen like you rule over me.

I'm probably blowing this out of proportion but it's how I feel...

This happened awhile ago but I wrote several letters and mailed them off to different people. One of the leaders called me back with interest in my proposal.

if a mod can be petty enough to ban/perm mute me from my favorite thing for no fucking reason, I guarantee I can be petty back x100.

How do I make friends out in public? I can make friends easily in school but outside of it I don't find anyone my age....

As the title says, I am a 19-year-old who loves taking drugs. To be clear I always test and do my research when it comes to every substance | put in my body.

For me, I just find them to be very fun and honestly just love exploring different forms of consciousness.
But I also like learning about how the drugs work and the exact chemistry behind them. It's generally an interesting topic for me

No I didn't have a bad childhood nor am I in a bad situation. While I was diagnosed with depression months ago I feel pretty much normal now.

I've only done a few such as lsd, shrooms, weed, alcohol, and DMT; I also have a bucket list of drugs I want to try like ketamine, MDMA, MDA, 2CB, Adderall (not meth), pcp, and a bunch of psychedelics.

I spend a decent amount of my free time watching videos about drugs and how they work, or thinking about when the next time I will get high

Aside from that, I use it responsibly and it has not negatively impacted me in any way.

Does anybody know why I think this way or do you know any reasons?

i’m still not over technoblades sudden passing. when he first passed 4 years ago, i got over it after a few hours of crying then i never really thought about it (it was probably a defence mechanism) until the start of 2025 where i was coming back to his stuff with the dsmp cuz i felt nostalgic, and im not kidding i spent a week straight crying about it until i forced myself not to watch or consume anything related to him at all. and now im getting clips of his stuff and animations done about him in my feed and i realise im still hit. im not over it. i cant watch the full clips without immediately scrolling. but the more i think about it, the weirder it feels. why am i crying over a youtuber? a celebrity that don’t know nothing about me and i don’t know anything about him? why am i genuinely hit over someones passing when we didn’t know eachother at all? it makes me feel so icky being so hit. this whole thing feels so parasocial i needdd second opinions

So it’s 6 am, I was playing Call of Duty MW4 Beta in total chill and I was even having a pretty cool game.

I had my headset on so I didn’t hear anything around me, I had my shutters almost completely closed and my fan on, lights on the room all off.

Then, all in a sudden, a fucking gigantic gargantuan Wasp started hitting my second monitor, I got an heart attack just by seeing it.

Pushed outside the room and closed the door to get something to hit the enemy jet, the bastard went in total stealth mode, not a sign, not a noise, nothing. I’m now sitting outside the room, waiting for the AA to catch the enemy, or at least, for it to end my life quick as possibile.

I’m a freshman in my 20s, and I already feel so behind everyone else. I took a one-year gap year because I wasn’t doing well mentally, and when I finally decided to come back to college, I really thought I was okay this time. I thought maybe I had finally gotten my life together. But now that I’m actually here, I’m realizing that maybe I’m still not okay. I don’t even know if I’m just overthinking everything or if I’m just having a hard time adjusting, but whenever there’s a performance task and I have to speak in front of the class, I completely shut down. My mind goes blank, my heart starts beating so fast, and I can barely get the words out. Everyone else seems like they know what they’re doing, while I’m just sitting there wondering why I can’t even do something as simple as speak. And then I go home and overthink everything that happened until I end up crying again. I already told my parents that I’m having doubts about college, and I can tell they’re disappointed. I can’t even blame them because I’m disappointed in myself too. The worst part is knowing that they’re getting older, and I’m getting older too. I feel like I don’t have the luxury of wasting another year. I already lost one year, and I’m terrified of losing another.

I want to graduate so badly. I really do. I want to finish this degree, make my parents proud, and finally feel like I’m doing something with my life. But at the same time, I’m so tired. Classes haven’t even been going on for a month, and I’m already thinking about quitting. That makes me feel even worse because what does that say about me? I don’t know if I’m giving up too easily or if I’m genuinely struggling again. I don’t want to disappoint my parents. I don’t want to fall behind my friends. I don’t want to look back years from now and regret all the time I wasted. But I also don’t want to keep waking up every day feeling this heavy. I don’t even know when I lost my spark or how I’m supposed to get it back. I just know that I miss the version of myself who actually looked forward to things. Right now, I feel stuck between wanting to keep going and wanting to step away from everything for a while.

For those who have been in a similar situation, what would you do if you were in my position? Should I continue college for now and give myself more time to adjust, or seriously consider taking another gap year to focus on myself before going back? How do I know if I’m just going through a difficult adjustment period or if I’m genuinely not ready to be in school again?

Hello :)

So, if it isn't too much of a hassle, I made some ideas of stories in my head as well as some short stories for ones I'm really invested in and decide to share it here. Please excuse if any of the work I made is WIP (also cringe for me since I'm 18 now as I'm making this post) and some are outdated. I'll be definitely making some changes in the documents as I go as well as possibly uploading more documents (This is my first time making a Reddit post, so fact check me if you please).

Some of these short stories I imagine them as animated films (Several of them 2D and one of them 3D). So I really hope I reach out to actual animators or people with filmmaking experience for the job of making this a reality for me since I'm not a great or good animator and artist.

So yeah, Please don't judge me on my writing skills, I'm just starting out and I've been wanting to get these dreams out of my head.

Story Summaries

The Legend of Mightia

The Legend of Mightia's Parnimals and Other Creatures

The Legend of Mightia Lore

The Legend of Mightia Videogame Spinoff

Animator Story Elaboration

Animator Short Stories

A Superhero Movie 2 Short Stories

So i just watched Whiplash 2014 and it reminded me about a past experience I've had. It was during a period where i was in a swimming training program for pre-competition, i wouldn't say the coach was exactly shitty like fletcher cause i would be attaining therapy sessions by now. But yeah, the whole training ( which lasted for 2 hours) was tense and i was beginning to lose my interest in swimming. Anyways, i got a flashback when i was watching the movie. I remembered an almost similar situation happened to me, i think it was because i was slow that day during the swimming session, so the coach just started spitting out shits. Recalling from this moment, i realized i didn't stood up from myself and i just walked away and quit after a week. Which brings me back to another event where my classmates/friends did some prank when i was sleeping (they hid my glasses and refuse to give back not mentioning they trying to gaslight me). What was really upsetting about this was that i didn't stand up for myself, i mean i could've at least done something. The idea was always on my mind, but i never executed it. Even when i was watching the movie i was thinking all about standing up and fighting back but in reality i did none. What would you do during the friend situation, i mean i certainly didn't feel happy in that prank but causing a scene would just make things stiff considering i still have like 4 months with them.

I am doing fine, but I'm in a rut and it's hard being kind to myself. I called out of work yesterday and today because I feel like I just can't right now, and that's okay. I'm aware it's okay and won't last forever, but being in the moment sure does suck. I can't even say I'm lonely because I have people in my life that care, but I choose to be alone. I choose to isolate. I expect others to know that it's my birthday instead of telling people who might actually care, like coworkers. And now I notice that part of the reason I don't want to go to work is because there won't be a card for me. Everyone passes around a card for everybody else, but when I'm struggling, I get a single text asking where I am from one coworker and nothing else.

But I'm just comparing right now and I know it's confirmation bias. I see negative all around cuz I look for the negative to prove myself correct, even tho it's a cognitive distortion.

I want to drown my sorrows away in food, my addiction, pizza in particular but I can't do that because I don't get paid till later today when I'll be asleep. Since I haven't gone to work, I haven't been able to have an energy drink and with ADHD it feels like a lot.

I know I'm just speaking out into the void, but I think I needed it. Happy 38th, me.

Hear me out. My brain was switched with the brain of a me from a different dimension some years ago and I wonder maybe if this happened to others after or during 2012. I have seen this idea referenced previously and also hear it in music regularly, which is a communication in its own right. When I look into my own eyes in the mirror I am sure something has gone deeply wrong and it makes me feel as though the floor is tilted beneath my feet. Did everything end in 2012 in our original timeline? Maybe. I do not understand entirely why this occurred to me at this particular moment but it had been revealed via synchronicities and I feel increasingly certain this was the case. I can’t see images inside my head but metaphorically I can “see” (or sense) time spreading backward in my mind and 2012 is like a moment where the matter of the universe/fabric of space time was peeled away like a sticky note.

Our policy with R rated movies is that you have to be 17+ to buy a ticket, but A LOT of parents are totally cool with buying the tickets for their kids, no matter the age or the movie. No questions asked.

Like, why did we have a mom buy her 11yo a ticket to obsession? (Kid ran out of the theater and threw up on the carpet)

Another time a couple came in with their daughter who was probably 9-10, and she saw we were still playing Zootopia 2 and got all excited and was begging to watch it and the parents were like, “no. We need three tickets for Scream 7.” Like that little girl is gonna have nightmares on top of nightmares.

Also why are people bringing their elementary school age kids to movie showings that get out at like 1am? That baby should be in bed.

You see it all the time on the internet. Talking about fatphobia and how men can be endearing even if they are overweight. But if this is someone who they deem to be morally incorrect the next day. They have no issue saying the most heinous shit imaginable. Which is how they really feel. It’s called the lizard brain and women like to pretend they are somehow above it all. It’s sickening the hypocrisy

I've got shows that I'm working on. Tuxico, Dog Boss, Overkiller, The Country with an X, Middle School Drags, The Four Bs, and more. Tuxico is a show about talking cats, Dog Boss is a show about talking dogs, The Country with an X is a show about a fictional country called Xyil, The Four Bs is about these four girls who can sing in harmony, yet they get affected by voice cracks but power through the voice cracks and their voice powers echo into these patterns of power, Middle School Drags is about this cat who's going into 7th grade yet she's stressed about it because she's worried that others wouldn't like her, and Overkiller is about this girl named Maysí Mandenburg who likes killing people for fun, and her town needs to figure out that she's the one doing the killing. In your opinion, which first episode do I start first?

I mean, I look in the mirror and think I know what I look like. However, when people point out that I share a resemblance with someone, I can’t for the life of me see it.

Okay. Can't put it out for long enough. Have to write it down. Have to gather the energy to type. I am not sure what are the things i am going to talk abt tonight. It will be anything and everything. There is nothing specific in my mind but a bunch of ordinary moments i am struggling with.

So, terrace no longer helps. Yuppp. You heard it right. What used to make me calm has run out of its dose. Restlessness doesn't go away with walking anymore. I had slept too little last night and was tired yet my body refuses to calm down. I should go on terrace anyway for fresh air and open sky. But i am tired and want to sleep rather than do any physical activity.

Last night i talked too much with AI and tried to find a solution but today i still feel the same. Ai is the temporary relief and therefore what we need is human connection. So, i booked a therapy.

It's been a year since i have been taking counselling and it has definitely helped. Earlier i booked there times a month, then gradually turned to 2 times a months then one and now i have booked it after 2 months. I don't have anything soecific to talk to her just a bunch of ordinary daily life struggle.

Talking to her helps and i have started to make her my rescue plan. That she will be just one appointment away. I will have her cor my future problems. I do not have any big responsibilities yet i feel burdened. Taking care of yourself is not easy. I would rather do it for others because it shifts the onus on them to take care of me in return. I am the best at this thing where i have to do things for someone i like. But the catch is i want the return with the same language. Therefore, its better to turn inward. The hardest thing you do is to live for yourself.

There is always an urge to have a specific person to dump my burdens to. Sharing the burden, being a witness to other's life is what makes other feel lighter.

My issue is that I do not ask for help. I do not think that they will be able to help actually. Sometimes, yes but most of ths times i hv done things by myself. I need a special bond to share my life with. The person should be present and attentive. Sometimes i question my choice to live alone but other times i remember that i used to live with roomates. And there are still people if i want to share but the problem is i don't feel connected to them. There is no trust and safe space to open my heart.

It's my issue because others do not operate the same way. They do not have these criteria or requirements. They are social bees. I don't know. I am probably making a mistake by being rigid but thats who i am. I also shouldn't compare myself with my genz siblings. They all are naturally confident and self assured. I am saying this coz my sister doesn't hide her tears if she is frustrated while talking to my mother. I also doubt my abilities to not be a big sister everyone wants. Anyway, they know what they wants. On the other hand i keep making myself small.

I am not fit to live on this planet. I am odd one out. What i want rn is to be at peace. If only i could access my therapist rn so we could talk. But, it's alright. I am also practising to sit with my emotions. To not be an extreme. To be able to wait for tomorrow. I don't know what will i say to her but i hope i feel better after talking to her.

There are so many people on the earth but i use AI and pay to speak my thoughts out loud. There are parents, friends and colleague but noone to share the mundane evenings with. Noone to tell what happened at the office. Noone to advice me that how should i navigate my life purposely and effortlessly. Therefore, i am constantly planning, preparing and trying so that i can be a better version of myself.

P.s. My neighbor uncle died today. He was a good person. They are crying now at 1:30 am. I am scared. I won't be able to sleep anyway. I do not fear sleeping alone. Tonight is different. Bartan dho leti hu. Chatt pe chali jati hu. Darwaja khol leti hu. Ajeeb sa lag raha hai.

Maybe if I no longer desire anything I can be at peace. I don’t even wish for happiness anymore, so long as I no longer live with this crushing sense of despair I’ll take peace. I just don’t want to feel anything really. What a contradiction even that is as the very want to not feel is a desire itself. Ha.

I think that these are fairly sound rules. Perhaps, you have a different opinion? I am kindly and humbly open to criticism.