My husband currently makes $120k working fully remote with full benefits. His job is comfortable, has good work-life balance, and being remote means he can help with school drop-offs, see the kids throughout the day, and generally be much more present with our family.
He was recently approached by the owner of a company about becoming a Director. The position would be in NYC, about a 1 hour 15 minute commute each way from NJ by bus, and would come with significantly more responsibility. Salary is $200,000 plus a 5% equity after 3 years. At office 5 days a week.
He wasn’t actively looking to leave his current job, so we’re trying to figure out if the salary would actually make giving up the remote lifestyle worthwhile.
A five-day commute would mean roughly 12+ hours a week just commuting, plus transportation costs, NYC work expenses, less flexibility with the kids, and obviously more stress/responsibility at a director level.
Is leaving a comfortable job worth it for a high paying job?

I got pulled into a meeting with our director and HR this week and was basically told they're planning to replace my manager.

He has no idea.

They asked if I'd be interested in his position and said they would rather promote internally than bring someone new in. It would take me from $78k to around $112k and would probably be the biggest career jump I've had.

The problem is my boss is the whole reason I'm even in this position. He hired me when I didn't have much experience, pushed for my last raise and has backed me up multiple times when things went wrong.

HR specifically told me not to discuss the conversation with him because nothing has been formally announced yet.

Now I'm sitting across from this guy in meetings every day while he's talking about plans for the next quarter and I already know there's a decent chance he won't even be here for them.

Would taking the job be normal career self preservation or am I basically helping them push out the person who helped build my career?

For all you nay sayers out there: they weren't upset at all! They Approved my $32 and hour up from $30 and hour no problem. I just signed the agreement today!

That might just be the difference between nonprofit/service work and all other industries. I don't know for sure, but my start day is October 1st!

I have a team mate. We are devs. The project we are on is high profile and extremely stressful. A couple of months ago, my teammate and I got on a 1:1 call to debug something. I’m asking him basic debugging questions so I can understand the problem and he gets angry about it. To the point where I felt the situation needed to be diffused so I said I was asking so I could get caught up to where he was on the problem because I’m trying to help you. This calmed him down slightly but later on the call something came up about the project that sent him into a raging tirade. I was floored someone would act this way at work. It was like 10-15 minutes of him ranting non stop. After that I told my team lead what happened and that it was unprofessional and he needed to treat me respectfully going forward.

There have been multiple other small instances of issues that have come up since then where he’s been rude and belittling and unhelpful. I mostly let it roll off and pushed back when he was rude. These were annoying but not anything as a woman dev I’ve never experienced before and not directly impacting the work.

Last week we were on a call to merge some work and he absolutely lost his shit again but much worse this time. He was full on raging about everything and I kept saying I need to go and he’d say “ok ya we should go” then launch into another rage. I tried diffusing it or redirecting him but it was not possible and tbh, he was so angry I felt like if I hung up that would make his rage even worse.

This week I’ve been obviously reluctant to get on any 1:1 call with him and this is not good for team collaboration or efficiency as you can imagine. I’m now the team lead so I need to be able to interact with him. Furthermore, as I’ve started to take on more of a leadership role I’m noticing more instances of dismissal of me and ignoring my requests.

He never loses his temper when anyone else is present. He also never loses his temper on anyone else. It’s also worth noting that I’m a woman and while there are other women on the team they are the team leadership.

I told my team lead and sent her some screenshots of his slack messages. She reached out to the project EM who spoke with me this morning. She said since no one has had a direct conversation with him we have to do that first. Also she said I should record or transcribe any 1:1 call I have with him. That’s pretty much it.

I told her I did not want to ever be in a 1:1 call with him ever again during the call and that his treatment of me wasn’t only a problem of unprofessional behavior that affected me personally it was also affecting team collaboration and efficiency. I described his behavior as hostile and aggressive.

She sent me a message after she met with him that he was “unaware he was making me uncomfortable.” He definitely knew I wasn’t comfortable because he would intermittently apologize during his rants then keep on going. And he definitely knows this is not acceptable behavior and he can control it. If he didn’t and he couldn’t he wouldn’t wait until we were on a 1:1 call to unleash it. Or send it as back channel slack messages.

Despite this it seems that they still expect me to get on 1:1 calls with him and they won’t remove him from the team, no plans for EAP referral or anything else.

What do I do next?

I interviewed for a BI Analyst role at a global technology distributor and supply chain services company and received an offer letter from them today. To my surprise the job title on the letter is 'Professional – Sales Excellence' which is slightly misleading for me as the JD never mentioned this title and it was advertised as a BI Analyst role. Since this role is for a Sales team, they have given it a sales based title. I asked the HR to correct it or give me another letter which states that my job responsibility is analytics based. I am concerned that if in future I apply to a different role, this sales job title would come across completely different from my job trajectory which has been analyst and reporting based roles.

Is it a fair thing to ask the HR to update my offer letter or mention officially on a letter that my job responsibilities remain as per the JD ?

HR has refused to share a different letter or include job responsibilities in the offer letter which is a cause of concern for me.

PS- This role is based in India and since I am moving back to India from the UK and hold no other offers at the moment, I am concerned to let go off this offer.

I recently just accepted an offer at a firm.

I asked for a week to decide but got some additional pressure (slight hostile tone) to accept so I signed that very night.

The very next morning I got an offer from a bigger company with a better pay…

Any suggestions on how I should go about this? Wait a couple days then tell them “Thank you for your time but…. blah blah blah”

I have been at the same company for 5 years and the same role for 3.5 years. I love my company the culture is excellent it's wfh and they put their people first. I took an 18 month maternity leave (i'm in Canada so this is common) and have been back to work for over a year. Since i came back i have been wanting to change roles and an opportunity came up for an internal role that pays 30k more than what I am making now. It is also a more senior role with a better title that could open up a lot more opportunities for me in the future. I did the interview and the hiring manager booked a half an hour call with me today to give me an update (this is a good sign).

I found out i was pregnant a few weeks before the interview. I haven't disclosed this information to my current manager or the hiring manager and I have been on a sick leave the last 3 weeks due to severe nausea and vomiting. I'm almost in my second trimester and feeling a lot better so i was planning to go back to work in two weeks. Now i'm feeling guilty on whether i should disclose my pregnancy. Like i said I love my workplace and i would feel guilty leaving the role in 6 months time. I wouldn't want them to feel negativity towards me. My workplace doesnt have a requirement to disclose your pregnant until 4 weeks before you plan to take maternity leave so I know i don't have to tell them. I worry if I tell them i would be putting my own career at risk. i worked really hard this last year since i've been back from maternity leave to create an impact so i do think i deserve the role (if they feel the same way). I really wanted to make a role change before going on another maternity leave to set myself up for success when i return. otherwise it looks like I have been in the same entry level role for 5+ years. i'm really conflicted here on what I should do. I know I haven't gotten the role yet but the reason i'm asking is because i'm not sure if I should tell them before accepting the offer.

and if i don't get the role that's completely fine too please don't tell me im getting ahead of myself because i like to be prepared for all scenarios. im just really looking for advice from a manager maybe whose seen this happen in the past or someone who has been through this as well.

thank you!

I work at company A for 1 and a half years. It is my first job and it is in tech.
We have the biggest competitor, company B, in our market, and the HR messaged me on Linkedin to ask me to meet because they are searching for someone like my position.
It is a large company regionally, much larger than the one I work for, but my company is larger internationally. Here i work with a small team of 8 people and there it would be a much larger team.
I dont know if i should go to the interview, mostly because it is a smaller market and im afraid someone from my company will find out, and they will consider me as a risk and wont invest that much more in me.
However, if company B were to offer me a much larger salary, I would maybe take the risk because I am not that pleased with my salary (even though it is fine for my market and I only work here less than 2 years).

I am in a huge dilemma. I am pretty happy where I am, but i dont know if I would regret not going, or not liking the offer and someone from my company finds out.

What to do?

I’m a 23 year old Canadian woman with absolutely no skills (or so I feel like, anyways). I grew up in a bad situation and didn’t do well in school, especially with math. Now I’m 23 and I have no idea what to do. I’ve unfortunately had chronic pain for years and still trying to get a real diagnosis and I’m usually an artsy person but in this economy, anything art feels like a dead end. (Sorry if that’s considered a ‘sob story’, first time posting here and just trying to explain the situation 😅)

I’m interested in trades to be honest but I don’t think I’m smart enough for any of them. I worked at a movie theatre for 3 years but that’s about it and felt like I gained nothing out of it.

Any suggestions are welcome, even if they’re a bit abnormal.

I recently finished several interview processes and am now at the final stage of salary negotiation with one company. I also have a few other opportunities/offers still pending, but I was leaning toward this company because I liked the domain enough to accept a somewhat lower salary. (lower than my initial ask) (For context, I'm a software engineer with about three years of experience and currently between jobs.)

As part of the final compensation process, the CTO sent me an offer letter with salary details.

Later, another employee emailed and texted me saying:

«“I’m contacting you regarding the offer letter we previously sent. Please review it and reply with your decision to join.”»

Because this person was actively following up about the offer and asking for my acceptance, I assumed they were handling HR/recruiting and replied to both them and the CTO with my signed offer letter.

The CTO then called me and said I had made a “big mistake” by sharing salary information with that employee, saying things like, “You shouldn’t handle work this way.”

He also mentioned the existing 3-month probation period and said that this kind of mistake could negatively affect me during it.

Apparently, that employee was not HR and wasn’t supposed to see salary information. Their email signature did say “Marketing specialist” but nobody told me they were only helping with communication or that salary-related replies should go exclusively to the CTO.

What makes me hesitate now is that I actually liked this company’s domain enough to accept a lower salary, despite having other opportunities still pending.

After this phone call, though, I’m starting to worry that the CTO may be somewhat emotional or quick to judge, and that similar communication issues could happen again after I join. I’m now seriously considering withdrawing my acceptance and pursuing one of the other opportunities instead.

Do you think I’m overreacting because this was mainly my mistake? Or does the CTO’s response seem like a reasonable red flag to reconsider the offer?

(For context, I’m not based in the US. Where I live, companies may have policies restricting employees from discussing compensation with one another.)

I (25F) have always been a high achiever since my school days. I'm not particularly super smart. My effort was what got me the top spot.

I don't know if its burnout or a lack of motivation, but I don't feel fulfilled at work. I left my first job after graduating in 2 years because the management was toxic and I couldn't find another job that paid as well. A masters degree seemed like a dignified way out of this mess and so I went for one. Throughly enjoyed my time at school again. Now its been a few months since I started my new job post my masters and I feel unfulfilled and unmotivated.

There are a few things I can think of which could be contributing to this lack of motivation:

1. I don't have any friends around all the time anymore like it was in my college days. I do meet my friends on weekends but again that's like 2-3 times a month.

2. I love doing all things creative but my parents strongly discouraged me from taking it up as a career option. I used to play an instrument (trained rigorously for years with a 2 hour practice routine everyday apart from weekly classes) and also love drawing and painting since I was very little (since 2-3 years of age).

3. I never went back to the level of discipline I had before my masters. Before my masters I used to wake up early, practice playing my musical instrument for 2 hours before I head to work and had a fixed routine. I stopped playing my instrument when i started prepping for my masters side by side with my job because my job was demanding too and there was only so much time in every day.

I just feel super hopeless.

I really don't understand if this is burnout, lack of community, lack of routine or if I am genuinely in a career that I don't belong in.

I hate my job. Its dispatching at a call center. We're severely short staffed and have a few new trainees. It wouldn't particularly matter if I gave them a courteous 2 week notice because they wouldnt be ready.

This company is never proactive. Always reactive. Not to mention I pick up some of the slack which I know I should not. My boss is a snake who says pretty things but never follows through. We have micro managing supervisors and overall its a mess. I don't care about burning a bridge but do care about leaving people in the wind, for a lack of better words.

I'm starting to dread work and be resentful asf which is leading to irritability. I do have another job lined up in 3 weeks. I just want to leave like right now, on my lunch break 🤣

I have half a mind to leave my keys with HR and sending them an email at the end of my work day.

Id be an asshole and unprofessional huh?

basically, i live in nyc where it’s supremely difficult to find a job. i have a sociology degree and have no idea how to incorporate that into my job search, and i feel pretty lost right now and like i’m going to be in food service forever. i’ve been a barista for six years and the job is horrible now. i can’t bring myself to enjoy talking to customers and i really hate making coffee. i’m exhausted and it goes so far beyond burnout. every day i pray i get fired so i can try to get unemployment. i’m just so depressed, i would love to go to grad school or cosmetology school but i can’t afford it and don’t know if it would actually lead to any jobs in the future. i’m wondering what i should do. i should mention i very much live paycheck to paycheck and if i quit right now i wouldn’t be able to make rent. maybe that’s my answer, but i genuinely cannot do this anymore. every time i step foot into my cafe i have crazy stomach problems and feel absolutely awful. literally any advice at all is welcome !!

I’m 42, divorced, and raising two kids under 10. I divorced five years ago and have about 95% custody, so most of the parenting and day-to-day responsibility is on me.
I live in Silicon Valley.
My background is a little all over the place, which is part of why I’m having trouble figuring out what to do next.
I have two university degrees from my home country in Europe: a law degree and a degree in international studies/languages. Before moving to the U.S., I worked in law.
After coming to the U.S., I moved into tech and worked in software quality assurance. That was about 10 years ago. Eventually I left tech and switched to real estate in 2019.
For a while, I thought I had found my new career. But for almost a year now, real estate has brought me very little income despite continuing to try. At this point, I’m exhausted.
Going back to QA doesn’t feel very realistic either. The industry has changed enormously, and the job market here is brutal.
So I’m sitting here at 42 wondering: What do I do next?
I need to make money, obviously. But I also want to build a life that I actually enjoy. I don’t want to spend the next 20 years desperately jumping from one thing to another just trying to survive.
The stress and uncertainty have also taken a toll on me. I’ve had recurring episodes of depression. I’m still high-functioning—I take care of my kids, handle my responsibilities, and keep going—but underneath it, I know I’m struggling.
And right now, I don’t have a clear vision of who I want to become next.
I wonder if there is some way to put all these seemingly disconnected pieces together: law, tech, real estate, languages/international studies, and years of dealing with people and complicated situations.
Maybe I need another career change. Maybe I need to go back to school. Maybe there is a completely different direction that I haven’t considered.
I would especially love to hear from women, immigrants, single parents, or anyone who rebuilt their career in their 40s.
If you were in my position—with two young kids, almost full custody, living in an extremely expensive area, and this somewhat unusual professional background—what paths would you seriously consider?
I’m not looking for “just believe in yourself.” I’d really appreciate practical ideas, specific careers I might not be thinking about, and stories from people who have actually rebuilt.
I feel like there has to be a brighter chapter after this one. I just can’t quite see what it looks like yet.
Kids father will allow to move states since he doesn’t care much.

I’m so tired. 33 with ADHD and the corporate hustle isn’t meant for my nervous system. I’d like to hear from others. What companies have you worked at or working at or know about are super chill and pay decent?

I’m 25M with a ton of hospitality, media, and customer service experience. I already work for a luxury fitness brand as a front desk associate for a lil over a year (not sharing brand for privacy reasons). I’m actually pretty great at this hospitality thing and was wondering if it was possible that certain businesses offer living spaces or heavily reduced rent for their employees. I’m in the NY metro area, CPR/aed/first aid certified, and can absolutely get great recommendations.

Title says it all, I went into college, had three different degrees and failed at all of those careers.

Career one was trying to be an occupational therapist, so I had a BA in psychology (a horrible decision). Got rejected for OT school so I gave up.

I did well with business courses in undergrad and in high school so I pivoted into business management. Couldn't get a job. The most I got was an office manager role that paid poverty wages.

So then I decided to go for a further specialization in accounting, because at the time, accounting was stable, had a middle class wage, and was good for analytical individuals (I am an INTJ, if that even matters). Biggest regret of my life. I constantly got fired or laid off. All of the accounting jobs I had also paid poverty wages. It was impossible to get a decent accounting job because everyone is better than me (I was blind at the time to how subhuman I was). And now, this field is dead.

So what is even left now? Even worse, I have become disabled due to a physical injury I got ten years ago. And I am crushed by student loan debt. What can I even do now or am I just ... destined to fail?

Okay, I need some outside opinions because I’m overthinking this.
There’s a person on linkedin whose career path is *really* relevant to the direction I’m interested in professionally.
We connected around 2–3 months ago but we’ve never actually interacted. I don’t post on linkedin, so there hasn’t really been an opportunity for them to interact with my content either.
A few days ago, I finally decided to message them. I sent it on saturday and it’s now wednesday. My message was roughly:
“Hey XX, hope you’re doing well :) We connected a while ago and I realized I never actually said hi haha. I was curious, what made you want to move from YY into ZZ?”
It wasn’t a long message or anything.
About an hour after I sent it, they viewed my profile. And that was it. No reply so far. Now I’m wondering:
Did I do something wrong with the message?
Should I send a follow-up eventually or just leave it alone? If I *should* follow up, what would you actually say without making it awkward or seeming pushy?

I recently accepted a new full-time position that is a significant step up in pay and responsibility from my current job. I was excited about the opportunity and decided to accept it after going through the interview and offer process.

My new employer gave me a firm start date, and I've already completed the major pre-employment steps they asked me to complete. I've also received onboarding information, benefits information, and information about HR orientation. So there has been a lot of evidence that everything is moving forward normally.

The problem is that my start date is now very close, and I still don't know some extremely basic information about my first day.

I don't know:

What time I'm actually expected to start on my first day

Whether I'm supposed to report to my worksite in person or work remotely for the morning

What I'm supposed to do before the scheduled HR orientation later that morning

Some of the basic logistics for getting started

I've emailed my future supervisor asking these questions. She is aware that my start date is approaching, but I haven't received a response yet. HR has been responsive to some things, including clarifying another onboarding requirement, but I still don't have answers to the questions above.

The part that is making me especially anxious is that I've already given notice at my current employer based on the new job's confirmed start date. My current employer knows when I'm leaving, and at this point I'm scheduled to finish there before the new position begins.

Now I'm sitting here wondering whether I made a mistake.

I understand that onboarding isn't always perfectly organized, and I don't expect a new employer to have every little thing figured out weeks in advance. But I'm struggling with the fact that I'm about to leave a job where I know exactly what I'm doing every day and start somewhere completely new, yet I don't even know where I'm supposed to be or what time I'm supposed to arrive on my first day.

Would this concern you?

Would you consider this normal new-hire disorganization and continue with the new job, or would you be concerned enough to ask your current employer whether you could rescind your resignation?

I'm not looking for people to tell me to "just relax." I'm genuinely trying to figure out whether I'm reacting to normal onboarding chaos or whether this is a legitimate red flag that I should take seriously.

Hi guys, so I'm trying to create a professional email but my professional emails are taken ( firstname.lastname@gmail.com, lastname.firstname@gmail.com, lastinitial.firstinitial, firstinitial.lastinitial, etc, etc. ) right now I can do firstname.lastname.work@gmail.com and also firstname.lastname.first and last initials@gmail.com, which one of these two do you guys think is more professional ? or do you guys have a better suggestion ?

Thanks!

Hi everyone

I have two Bachelor's degrees, one in Nursing and the other in International Relations. When I was in high school, I had aspirations to become a diplomat. However, my father at the time was really wanting me to go into healthcare and so I did. I became a nurse and I was really unhappy during nursing school. My father saw how unhappy I was and encouraged me to get a second degree afterwards. So, after I graduated, I immediately got a second degree in International Relations. However, due to internship experience and experiences in diplomacy I quickly realized that it wasn't for me. After I had graduated, especially since I didn't know what to do, I had gone back to nursing and picked up my first nursing job. I worked on a Medical Surgical floor at a hospital I really disliked. The job was really draining and I felt like a zombie. I was so unhappy, filled with anxiety at all times. I got so burnt out that I quit and I traveled for a bit. I got into hiking. While I was working as a nurse, however, I did apply to this opportunity that allowed me to live in a Balkan country for a year as an English teacher, and I got it. Therefore, after a few months of unemployment I became an English teaching assistant. Was the job really rewarding? Not necessarily, but it was pretty interesting. It didn't feel like much of a job. I fell in love with the country and the people and I was really happy even though my career didn't have any movement and I didn't have any decisions made. However, the program came to an end and now I'm back in my home country (America). I've been back for a couple of weeks and my initial plan was just to return to nursing, but change specialties in hopes that I'd like it. But now I'm really unsure what to do. I'm unsure of my next step. I feel like I've just been bouncing back and forth between this vague field of international affairs and nursing. And I'm so overwhelmed right now. I don't know what I see myself as. I don't know what would even bring me happiness or life satisfaction. At the moment I just miss the Balkan country I was in but I know that is very fleeting. I feel like I've spiraled so much within myself that I cannot see straight.

So, I'm asking if you've read this far to give me some objective feedback. I know ultimately decisions like this come from myself, but I don't know how to pick. I don't know how people know what they want. I just want to be happy, but I don't even know what that entails.

What I liked about Nursing:

Skills are really helpful and it can feel rewarding at times.

What I didnt like:

It can be very anxiety inducing not knowing what you're walking into at times and it really feels like you're just a body for a hospital system that will replace you with someone else when you're done.

What I find interesting about international affairs:

I'm really interested in the contemporary history of the balkans and modern day migration patterns, developmental efforts, and conflict reconciliation.

Cons:

I have become quite disillusioned and cynical towards the institutions that spearhead conflict reconciliation and developmental work. I don't know if it's really serving the population like they claim to and it's extremely difficult to get into the field.

I don't know why I feel like I just can't be happy and content. I also have previously felt that I wanted to immigrate from America, but I don't know how to even begin with that. If it's not clear, I'm an individual that seems to know nothing. ) :

I work in data in the tech industry and have always done the data analyst/scientist/engineer type roles. Prior to that I worked in mental health and social services, and my degree is in Sociology. I've never been a manager, but I have some applicable experience being a team lead on several occasions for various projects while in tech.

A senior manager position opened up on my old team (a company wide re-org involuntarily stuck me on my current team) and I meet all of the qualifications, minus the 8-10 years of management experince. I applied anyway because YOLO and I want more money. The hiring manager knows me and also partners with my current team on a regular basis. Obviously know his team too and the work they do. He reached out today and wants to chat about my application tomorrow. It seems like an informal sort of chat to see why I am interested and whatnot, but again I have never been a manager and I have never applied or interviewed for any sort of management role. So, any tips or ideas of what he may ask me? I know this isn't a formal interview, but I'm assuming if this goes well then I will get one.

Hello!
I am a new college student and moved to a new area. My first job back home was at a fast food restaurant for 9 moths. I was worried about coming to school and everyone competing for a job. Over the summer I applied and drove 3 hours for an interview at a different fast food place. They were quite unprofessional but I needed a job and the pay was good for the state I’m moving to (less than back home). However during orientation the unprofessionalism became more concerning. They told me to skip the handbook. I came in my first shift and saw everyone bagging food without gloves. The person training me was only there a month. The managers were all very rude. I was shown where they do dishes and there was one sink (3 compartments). They put the raw chicken, grill, and front dishes all in the same sink. They also said at the end of the night they dump the dirty rags in there. The person training me said they never told her to use bleach to clean the sink so it wasn’t cleaned properly in a month.
Additionally when I would work a shift they wouldn’t tell me where to go to train. I would just put myself somewhere. If I hadn’t worked fast food before I would have been so lost.
WORST OF ALL…on my third day someone mentioned there being a rat in the dining room. The manager went and checked and saw mice poop and covered it back up and the staff was just talking about it and how they’ve had them before and come in the food trucks.

I want to quit. It is far a walk and I already found a different job. I was just going to send a message but don’t know what to say. I am not going to tell them I am quitting cause it’s unprofessional and unhygienic . I feel bad cause I only worked 3 shifts, but it is terrible there. I want advice on the best way to quit and also…should I report them for an inspection?

I have worked in social care for 12 years, and really want to leave it fully.. but I have no idea what I want to do in life.

Is there anything out there, a system or questions for example.. which can help us really think about what we want to do in life for a job? (Sorry unsure how to word it)

I am really miffed if I am honest..

Thanks.

After a layoff I have been interviewing and just had my final in-person rounds of interviews at 3 companies. One last Wednesday, another last Thursday, and one today.

Wednesday one was 3 interviews with lunch. Thursday one was recruiter and 4 interviews. Today’s one was recruiter, one 2 person and one with 9 people.

This is for an in house lawyer, all large global companies.

I hate the silence. How long does one usually have to wait for a verbal offer? Any advice on what some good signs are the offer is coming vs signs it is not? Thanks!