I just want to dig a hole and bury myself… Oh my God, I’m so embarrassed. 😭

Aging itself doesn’t scare me completely. But not living or enjoying my 20s does. Not sure who to tell this but it just feels well I feel nothing. I’m grateful to see another year but just imagined my life to be different at this point. I feel like I want to end my life but I don’t want to actually do it. I just feel numb and not motivated.

I wish I could be the person I used to be. I just feel like I’ve became a shell of myself. I know other people are going through far worse than me. But I’m allowed to feel how I feel regardless.

Im a 17 year old male from prepping h for neet and recently been diagnosed wirth severe functioning clinical depression,ADHD,emotional instability can anyone help me?

Cant focus cant concentrate there’s a constant urge to cry and sadness

Im writing this on reddit cause ive lost hope in therapy or any self care or being positive this is my last effort…

Need someone to talk to about some mental stuff please dm me I need it right now

if i say it plainly, it sounds so stupid. so, i have a friend group that i play games with online. a specific friend if very close to me. she's the type of person you'd write songs about. someone very magnetic to love. she told me about a very nice guy who makes her feel like how every girl should feel when they're with a guy. he goes out of his way to make her feel comfortable. you get the picture.

there's this other guy that was introduced to me since she invited him and other people to play with us. a while after, i browsed instagram and decided to reply to a photo of a movie he shared. and so we talked for hours about movies and songs. recommended a ton to each other. pero during the conversation, he asked about the same girl. he admitted he liked her and wanted to know things about her. he told me he'd been looking at my profile since i'm a very close friend of hers. i felt off about it and uncomfortable because i thought we were getting along. my insecurity came out and lowkey ranted about how i'm always the bridge when it comes to my friends' love lives. i felt shitty, and now he felt shitty for asking about her. of course i saw how things became because of my insecurity, so i apologized. we were like idiots, trying to apologize to each other when my mind was the reason why things went sour.. he explained that he asked about her because he wanted to know if he should stop liking her. he's been liking her since 2022, but nothing really happened between them. in the end, things went fine between me and him. heck, we played a game online after it.

the next day, she told me stuff about the nice guy again. i was already feeling worn out because i slept at 4 am due to talking to the other guy who liked her. the point is.. i can't stop feeling this dread that no one will choose me in the way that guys get attracted to her so naturally. they're good guys too. it makes me feel so heavy. i want the best for her, of course. i just keep wondering what the difference is between me and her. it's so tiring. this has been going on since 2022. heck, she even admitted she felt the same about me in the past. still, i really don't think it's the same. it sucks. no one has ever chosen me the same way.

i know that i'm not as socially warm as her, but is that really all it is? maybe i'm just not someone you'd choose? i had everything back then, the class topper, pretty, fit.. but even the guy i liked, chose her. why does this keep happening? why me? am i just always meant to be a bridge?