I'm a first generation American of South Asian (Indian) descent. I've always been fat my whole life and struggle with PCOS. As a kid I was bullied relentlessly either for my weight or because of my ethnicity. I don't feel like I belong in the Indian community either because people in my experience are very judgemental and fatphobic.

I don't have any friends or sense of community but I haven't sought out people. I just always assume people are not going to like me at all so it's like why even bother. I don't even like meeting new people unless I have to for work. I also avoid even hanging out with my family because they are so critical and my weight always gets brought up. I do want to socialize and not be so isolated but I don't know how I can when most people will never like or appreciate me?

Hi All,

Going on a date tomorrow with a guy whose been heavily flirting /borderline sexting me on app. I have a full body photo as my primary photo, but still so paranoid, I'm going to get there and he will instantly no longer be interested, because im bigger than he was anticipating. Im a UK size 22/24. Just wondering how others find dating as plus size. Part of me kinda wants to remind him like "hey you know im plus sized" before the date, but worried it'll come off very insecure.

I 20f have never dated or had my first kiss or anything like that. And I want to start dating. You know, before I got the confidence I do now, I was deathly afraid of guys. A lot of guys at my school suck but honestly a lot can also be pretty cool. But that's the thing. I don't know many because I still don't interact with guys a lot. In my major it's like mostly girls even though everywhere else it's "guy" "guy" "guy". At least for the majority of my classes.

Then if they are it's a guy I know wayyy too well and I don't wanna mess up our relationships. Plus they're the ONLY guy and I feel weird. Or they're freshmen or older guys. Nothing wrong with that but that's just my preference.

I honestly still am a little scared of being around guys. I know why, because there's a certain hurt that can come from the gender you find attractive to dismiss you. But right now? I don't give a fuck because there are PLENTY of girls who don't like me either. And I'm not scared of them.

So I'm getting rid of this asap.

I think I might just be more confident with the guys I do interact with. Treat them like I do with girls. Maybe join a club idk. I mean I really am just around other girls so I feel like a creep but at the same time what else am I going to do?! 😭

I need to find some school events or something!

Need advice please if you can offer anything!

Anyways this was fun, luv ya!

Hey all. My wife and I want to get an intimacy pillow. We are both about 200lbs. I heard about the Liberator many years ago. But it appears now there are lots of ergonomic type shapes that look like they could be comfortable and fun. Allot of them pop of on my Facebook feed but I have no idea what to trust.

Can anyone assist? Thanks!

I'm a lifelong Floridan and I've only ever seen snow once. Next January, I will be taking a trip to visit friends in Toronto, which does the cold. I would like to be not cold as I am not prepared for it as a person. Where can I get a good coat? I wear a 24/26 and I'm not looking to break the bank because this will just sit in the back of my closet for several years probably. I'd be open to thrifting too!

I’m tanning for a boudoir shoot. Not sure I’m comfortable being naked though. Any suggestions, tips, criticism appreciated!

I'm heading to Vancouver later this month and wondering if there are any particularly good shops for a plus size (2x-3x) girlie who doesn't want to dress like a depressed 60-year-old elementary school teacher or a Disney Adult? I've got Penningtons, Ricki's, Blue Sky, and Reitmans at home so I'm hoping there are more options in the bigger city.

Let me preface this by saying I hate swimming, I get so bored in a pool and wonder why I’m there. To top it off being in a wet swimsuit is such a sensory nightmare for me, it just isn’t my thing.

I was talking to a friend today about an upcoming pool party another friend of ours is hosting. I mentioned despite skipping all the other pool days that I’d be going to this party and I’d even ordered a swimsuit so I wouldn’t feel out of place.

I said I probably wouldn’t swim and would just hang by the pool, but I was looking forward to it anyway, and she started off by giving me some “advice” that everyone, “not just fat people” has insecurities about being in a swimsuit. I have zero qualms with being in anything skimpy or revealing, or with anyone seeing my body by the pool. I wear things that expose my midriff and legs regularly, Im never trying to hide my body, so this advice felt out of left field.

It was so annoying and out of nowhere and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. Even people who are close friends with us, who are around us often still have these misconceptions. This comes not long after another thin friend asked me how offended I was by Norbit’s use of fat suits (why are we bringing up a 20 year old movie?) as a fat person. Like be for real.

Anyway, love you all.

Bras bras bras

HELP!

My back feels like I am 100 years old

I have tried so many options I am exhausted of trying and returning a million times. I’m tired of spending so much money to be in pain. Please help me. I will take any and all recommendations. I would do ANYTHING to be able to try on in store. The current Lane Bryant bras I have are KILLING me and putting permanent indents in my shoulders. I went to two locations and returned three different sizes before being assured these were the right size. I really need advice I’m overstimulated and overwhelmed.

I’m currently wearing a 42D at Lane which seems insanely small to me but the other sizes were too big.

I don’t want an underwire due to sensitivity issues/comfort.

Thank you in advance I’m mid meltdown

I’m currently in the process of applying for graduate programs to become an advanced practice provider, but I’m starting to get nervous that I won’t be taken seriously as a plus size woman.

I’m confident in my ability to do well in the program and I’m so passionate about equitable healthcare, but I worry about how my preceptors, peers, and even patients will view me. I have patient care experience as an EMT but those were always very quick interactions, nothing longitudinal.

I try to remind myself that I’m capable and deserve to go after my career goals, and I know that I would personally feel much more comfortable with a plus size PCP.

Would you be comfortable with a provider with a similar body type to you? Do you have experience as a plus size provider/person in healthcare? Just looking for people’s thoughts (both reassurance and reservations are welcome!)

Happy Monday everybody. So tonight I am going to a huge concert in my city and I’m feeling extremely nervous about it. I’m not even totally sure why and I wish that I could just feel excited and relaxed but I can’t get my mind into that mode. I guess I’m just looking for words of wisdom or any encouragement, have any of you experienced this?

My two major concerns are the walking (which honestly should be fine) and more importantly the seating. Earlier this year when I bought the ticket I must’ve been totally delusional and I bought a floor ticket thinking it would be fine. But now we’re here and I saw how small and flimsy the chairs are. I already called the stadium earlier to inquire about ADA seating and I’m going to try to snag that when I arrive.

It makes me feel ashamed, like I don’t deserve to go and it’s just another thing I can’t do right. Thanks for listening. 🩷

Looking for recent personal experience.

Should a heavy person (400 lbs, 5’2”) even attempt to fly these days? Specifically, the seat size issue. Didn’t fit in a Texas Rangers stadium seat (MORTIFYING) in April and now terrified to try to do almost anything, until the weight comes off.. But thought it was worth asking. It would be a relatively short (3 hours) flight.
Any suggestions? Warnings?
Worth it? Don’t do it?
Thanks.

I'm 20 and in college and honestly feel like I have to wear tight clothes a lot of the time. I'm size 28-30, so I'm not the more acceptable 18-20.

I've been big all of my life and growing up I used to wear very loose clothes. But then, over the summer things changed and I found myself really liking short and tight clothes. Not like revealing, just a fitting shirt and a mini skirt that's mid thigh. I don't do revealing tops because they never even fit my chest to begin with. 🫣

Anyways, I've been noticing how a lot of people perceive me. When I was dressing in bigger clothes or just ones that didn't hug my body people would be nonchalant or mean (but those were 98% guys so f them). Now, I'm getting compliments and the girls are nice like always, but more! Except certain white girls, I go to a pwi and the ones that look like they do Pilates and wear those grey sweatshirts with the bold font sometimes look at me funny. One time they laughed out loud at me in the library which was so insane because I never would have imagined that in University. I wish I had done something but I just walked away. I was walking home the other day and a group of them in a car stopped right beside me and said something, but I didn't hear what they said because it was too quiet. Idk what that was about. I was wearing this jean mini skirt that day to try something new and fun.

And guys have been less weird. But I don't really be around guys anyway. I've always loved my girls. 🌸 And I've been called cute more by older people around me. That's not new per say but I haven't really been called that since I was like 14. And there are these weird stares I get from this one guy I took a class with last semester. I catch him looking at me sometimes but it's not mean compared to what I'm used to...

I'm not investing in that tho I'm not playing Guess Who. It was just different.

I won't say I don't have a shape. That would be lying. But I'm also not Jessica Rabbit with more plump. I'm like a very subtle pear. That's how I would describe it. My butt doesn't stick out much but it is really big, and my chest is around an h or g cup so they're huge I guess...

I just don't want to rely on other people to be happy. Don't get me wrong, I love my style and would wear it anyway. But sometimes I find myself thinking about how appealing it looks to others and I don't want that. I always dismiss it as this is a very new feeling for me...

Anyways, if anyone relates please let me know, I'd really like to hear it! Or just any words of advice or encouragement! Ty!

Glasses are from Zenni.

Something always happens to me when I try to buy plus size clothes:

my hip and bust tend to match the size of the garment I'm looking at online but my waist is always way larger than the listed waist size for the garment. so like, for example, if a 2xl in a given store is 46/39/48 but my measurements are 45/44/48. not my actual measurements but just using this as an example. sometimes, the waist discrepancy is so huge that I'm like..... has this store never met a chubby girl?????? we tend to have bellies...... do they not realize this???

when it comes to pieces that tend to rely on just one or two of these measurements (like pants or shirts for example) this is not that big of a deal, I can sort of work around it as annoying as it is. But when it comes to larger pieces like a coat or a dress that's when I'm like..... how am I expected to fit into this exactly? I imagine I'm not saying anything you don't already know but like... these sizes don't seem feasible for anyone over a 2XL that doesn't have an hour glass shape. I have a bit of a belly (which I don't mind), that's why my waist size is so much bigger than the garment. I suppose if I sucked in my belly I could MAYBE fit into the belly but I would rather not have to do that 24/7.

I'm probably preaching to the choir here but like I say all of this to ask for advice: Have you been in this situation? how do you navigate it? I'm genuinely at a loss for what I'm supposed to do other than, not wear coats or dresses. And if you have any brands (bonus points if goth, but not required) that are more conscious of this I would love to know, cause so far it feels like every brand does this.

I don't really shop for clothes that often because it kind of sucks for me (hence why it probably sounds like I don't know that much about clothing sizes) but I'm trying to change that and genuinely find stuff that I'd like and that would fit.

I’m going to go to the Philippines at the end of this month with my family to do thrill seeking activities like canyoneering and ziplining. But the thing is i’m 125kg (275lbs I think) and this is my first time doing activities like this and i’m a bit worried about my weight. I’m also scared of heights but I want to face my fears and unleash my adventurous side.

Has any one of you tried doing thrill seeking activities like ziplining, bungee jumping etc. as a plus size person? What’s your experience? Did your weight affect it?

I had this dress custom made while in Vietnam and I cannot believe I can go bralass! So jealous of people who never need a bra 😅

Dress is from shein, stockings are from a local store along with the necklace/earrings

Came off Amazon, and the shoes are Clark’s

Second pic! Recently I've been working on my self confidence so I've been wanting to share more of myself and be less shy on social media! So here's another pic! I felt pretty today!

My dad is getting married in October and its a smaller affair. Still dressy but not full out. I'm not in the wedding per se but I am doing a reading. This is the dress the bride and I have landed on for me. I don't feel my best in it but most people say it looks nice.

Me streaming Kingdom Hearts on TikTok this morning! I only had one stupid troll come in and comment about my weight! The rest were lovely nerds who wanted to watch me game. :)