I feel like people on this sub really prioritize celebrations of sobriety. Helping people seek sobriety is an afterthought. It would be amazing if the sub did a sponsor system with different categories.

People need help. Reading about how you resisted a marg at a work event after being sober for three years is awesome! Take that energy and help someone who isn’t there yet!

im not sure where else to post this, because mine includes alcohol and other drugs, but i cant seem to find one that solely focuses on recreational drugs. now that summer is over in a few weeks, it feels like ive wasted it all. i know how silly that sounds, and im ashamed to even write this out. i have been down for so long and no friends really, and i miss having the community of ppl

i used to be a heavy binge drinker from 2018-2020. then from 2018-2024 i was a drug user (ketamine, coke, mdma, etc) and i was a heavy weed smoker from 2013-2021 (i smoke weed again now lol). im only 26 and i feel so alone and have FOMO. i know it isn't all that its cracked up to be, and i had some really bad times while being high and drunk, but i at least felt alive

i go outside everyday and i read SO many books (last year i read around 300 books!!!) and i listen to my music and go for walks and other things, but im so bored and alone most days. i had a falling out with my bff in 2024 and then the whole friend group split away from me, and my ex had broken up with me too, and it sounds so stupid but i haven't really recovered from that. i do try to reach out to others, but most of the time it falls through. last year i went on tinder to meet people and there were some men who just used me and my body (i am a woman) and a man who i saw for 5 months and then it came out that he wasn't over his ex-situationship. i stopped talking to him back in April and haven't dated anyone since

this whole summer ive been wanting to do drugs just to connect with others again. thats where it has felt the easiest for me, and i know that its not always real, but at least it is something. i feel like im wasting my life away by not being with other people. i like doing things alone, but i hate being lonely

i was given opiates at the hospital like a month ago and i miss the feeling. i just miss everything i had so much. i try to busy myself but i feel depressed most days. ive been smoking weed again to distract myself and i just feel so bad

I have this need for violence. I used to show it to other people, and be mean and horrible. But now its inverted towards myself because its easier to deal with and I have less emotional consequences. I can do horrible things to myself, and pretend as if it never happened.

But I yearn for it.

I want to be violent. I want to scream, break shit, and have others be scared of me. I want to show them I am not this weak submissive bitch I act to be. I am so *tired* of being weak. Of being agreeable. Of being easy to manage. Im so tired of it. I am so tired.

I want to get blackout drunk in the middle of the day and just scream at my family. I want to do horrible vile things to people. I want to hurt people. I want them to realize I AM NOT ME. I AM NOT THIS.

I hate people. I genuinely hate people. I am nice to them, and I want them to like me. I pretend to care for them because it brings us closer, and in return theyll care for me. I know its a transactional relationship, friendship is. You both have to put effort into it.

The only people who I think I truly love and care for is my sister and my best friend. Maybe my other family members like my brother. Idk. I love them. I do. I really do.

I feel this twisted urge and need for violence. Im so tired. I just want to get drunk ad forget about my existence. I dont really want to hurt people, especially my family. I dont want to. But I feel this bubbling pit in my soul of just pure *rage* that wont go away. I feel so much indirected hatred and anger. And I dont know how to deal with it except for taking it out on myself or having violent fantasies.

My husband is aware that I’m trying to be fully sober but keep drinking “secretly”. Not so secret when you act intoxicated. He’s really supportive and understands it’s kind of my journey and he can’t really stop me.
I’ve been thinking about buying a breathalyzer that sends a notification to him to show I’m sober. I think it would help me from the temptation to sneak if I know I have to blow into it.
Curious if anyone has tried one/had success using one with someone that gets the results holding them accountable.

Not sure how to fix this, but I am unable to request one of those very nifty day counters and I'm not quite sure why.

I only have access to the badge instructions but no way to send the request date.

Badges

Here in /r/stopdrinking you can get a badge to share with everyone how long you've been free from alcohol.

• Self Serve badge instructions

would anyone be able to help? Thank you.

Day 558 coming up btw ;)

Sorry, I meant, Im having a relapse.

I'm bipolar, have Cerebral Palsy. Been self medication with alcohol for many years. I don't know how long probably around 15 years. Been relapsing on average once a year. The last three years more frequently. Been in detox 5-6 times over three years. Also four month treatment.Tried Antabuse last year that made me extremely depressed. Started taking it again in detox, but it gave me fatigue. I'm out of options to keep me from drinking

One of my biggest problems is that because of my health issues I can't work so I'm trying to fill a void. Yes I have been volunteering, met friends, but still isolate myself and turn to alcohol anyways. Iits weird because I'm very outgoing and love being around ppl. Im my own worst enemy. I dont want to bother my friends with my problems. Another cause of me turning to alcohol. I feel so alone

Imagine 2 people fall in love, at an AA picnic.

Almost 40 years later they’re both dry drunks who have a sober date but certainly don’t act sober.

Imagine procreating and giving your double alcoholic genes to THREE kids. Three. THREE.

Now imagine there’s one of those kids, just one, who graduated college and had a corproate job and opened you into your kid’s home. Now imagine not working for the last 5 years you’ve been relying on your kid. Now imagine her being laid off and now all of a sudden it’s her fault no one can pay rent despite no one trying to prior to this. Now imagine spending everyday of her life now telling her she’s a degenerate alcoholic. Forgetting the genes. Forgetting everything she’s done. Forgetting her birthday, forgetting literally everything other than what she’s done wrong. Imagine going behind her back and stealing state benefits and lying to the rest of the family about it.

I don’t even care. I will drink every single day at this point because FUCK YOU GUYS. Fuck my shit ass parents who doubled these genes and dumped me with zero support to figure out THEIR lives. My brothers? Allowed to have partners and jobs. Me? Have to share a one bathroom fuckin house with my “sober” mother who spends every day taking more from me and then blaming ME for being an alcoholic? Bitch don’t have fucking kids with another alcoholic and then shame shame shame shame shame shame shame the fucking kids you gave this disease to.

I hate life. I hate you.

How am I supposed to take responsibility when I was sober and successful until my dry drunk mother moved into my home and now blamed and shames me for everything thing in her life to the point I can’t even leave my bed room cause there’s a gate on it. I’m 37 and have no legal issues, I had a job, I had friends, and now I can’t leave the house because of her. And I reach out to my “family”? My brother who “has a spare bedroom” but my dad says “why would your brother want your mother there?”. I DONT KNOW WHY WOULD I WANT HER HERE. WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME SACRIFICING AND SUFFERING FOR THE FAMILY WHILE THE FAMILY SLOWLY AND STEADILY KILLS ME?

I, 36 male, used to be a heavy drinker and I came from a family of heavy drinkers so I always thought I would be drinking forever. I started going to hot yoga and managed to quit my drinking. It’s been over 5 years since I’ve had any alcohol. I have grown a lot and developed new coping mechanisms.

Has anyone taken this long off and then started drinking again and was responsible? I hear horror stories all the time how if someone has one drink and they become uncontrollable.

I’m not sure if this is the right place to post it, but I don’t have anyone in my life on a similar journey, I think I’m the only person I know who has quit drinking. I never went to AA or anything, I just stopped one day and never drank again. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.

Edit: thank you everyone who posted. Your words helped me more than you can imagine. I feel a lot better. I’m going to continue to not drink, and do some soul searching to find what I’m trying to avoid.

35F here. I've been a daily drinker for like 15 years with occasional bad binging. It's been a lot better since I started Zoloft and got diagnosed with ADHD and medicated. This past month I started day drinking because we were moving and I liked packing/unpacking with a light buzz. This last week I had a terrible binge, day drinking liquor during the day maybe 8-12 drinks throughout the day but honestly I'm not keeping great track. Being hungover is my biggest trigger. I've just started slowly trying to taper and sticking to light beers instead of liquor.

ETA: my husband was home the whole time when I had my binge, I wasn't alone and drunk with the kids. I never drink and drive.

A few months ago I did a sober week with no withdrawals but right now I'm terribly anxious about possible withdrawals. I am at home alone with two littles so it feels especially scary. I can't tell if I'm shaking from being hungover or if my body is now physically dependant on alcohol.

Today I will start keeping careful track of when I drink.

Thursday I have a virtual dr appt where I'm going to bring it up. I'm not sure if she'll be able to help much since I don't currently have a PCP. But I'm hoping to get benzos and naltrexone, maybe outpatient rehab if we can afford it and if not then find a therapist asap.

I'm terrified of having CPS called (just based on me day drinking, the kids are safe and doing great) or having my vyvanse taken away. Or being labeled as drug seeking because I want benzos.

Just looking for support! I'm gearing up to kick this disease, but it's scary.

Edit: any info about how much inperson or out person rehab cost you is helpful too!

Just curious what others’ experience is. I have ADHD and executive function has been a problem for me. 100 days off booze and I feel like those issues are fading somewhat. At the same time, I’m racked with guilt because I can now look back at the last few years and see all the ways I could have been doing more for myself, for others, career-wise, parenting-wise, etc.

The past few years have been a blur. I barely remember anything in particular. But for the last 3 months, it’s like I have a continuous, uninterrupted recording of everything. It’s like I can now remember the things I need/want to change and improve my life and can take action and stick to it. Before, I might have some realization that I need to do a certain thing better, but within a day or two that thought was long gone. There’s continuity now.

I’m really curious about how others might have experienced something similar. To be clear, I was a multiple-nights-per-week binge drinker. I also came off Zoloft around the same time I stopped drinking. Not that it matters, but I wonder what the bigger factor here is - alcohol or Zoloft?

Hey all, I am an 18 year old alcoholic that drinks every day. But my body can’t handle it anymore I wake up with shakes and sweats my body feels weak all the time and I just want to quit but it’s so hard what do I do socially now what do I do when I’m bored in my room alone. I just want some guidance into how to make this easier for me. Thank you all

Has anyone had experience using a sober coach or being a sober coach for people going to concerts, musicians, executives going to trade shows, etc?

I met my guitar hero (Joey Santiago) a number of years ago. As we sat and talked, his sober coach was rough there with us just having a N.A. beer and I thought that would be something I could get behind.

Would love to hear any experiences?

​

Pressure Doesnt Always Come TO Crush Sometimes IT Builds THE Diamonds Hidden IN THE Dust I Remember Asking Heaven IF IT Still Knew MY Name While Fighting Invisible Battles Nobody Could Explain Every Closed Door Felt Like THE END until I started walking with Faith Countless years of Addiction and Alcoholism I asked God to take the desire and taste out of me I prayed every day and night for it to end. It didn't seem to me that God was listening. But however he was he was putting Pressure on me for me to understand there's a better way and he continued to put pressure to make me feel as uncomfortable as possible.

I continued to fight this demon not knowing why God kept the Pressure on me.I finally figured why and that he was using pressure to make me stronger for when I am Alcohol and Drug free to fight the Cravings Desire and Urge out of me when it presents itself, And It Worked.

Today I am 5yrs free of Drugs and 1yr this October alcohol free and with Grace of God he continues to keep the Pressure on me to keep

me sober. So to those who believe in God lean on him to get you through even when we question if he's not answering he really is he's just building u up...also if I offended anyone with talking about God I Apologize!

So with said when someone says to you you only have one life to live tell them you have 2 the One Im Leaving Behind and The New One I'm Beginning and Thats The Blessing. You Got This Push your way through 🦾🦾🦾💯🙏❤️

Bottle contains about 5 shots. Honestly the only thing that keeps me from not doing it is I am trying to lose weight. If it wasn’t for that I would drink rn. I am super vain and gained over 20lbs that I think is from depression drinking over the past few years. This year I have been the most well behaved and have abstained the most out of my whole life but still went on a few week benders.

I am supposed to be helping them clean over here. I really want that drink. Posting for accountability.

Update: will just copy what I posted below

Thanks everyone. I poured it out…

I am safe for right now but can’t say the same for tomorrow when I come back to do more cleaning 😂 for those of you saying don’t do it cause you’ll have to drive- I already thought that out and walked to my parents with my dog (about 20 minute walk) cause that’s how committed I am to having a plan to drink- prepared a water bottle and a route…

Thanks for your support. I think I will post here any time I’m about to drink- truly saved me from experiencing more regret. And thank you to everyone who commented on the weight things as well. Glad to not feel alone

Does this happen to anyone else? Every time I take a break from drinking I bloat and gain weight. In my longer stints, eventually my body feels better, but is this normal? Maybe I’m just hydrated, but it’s always discouraging. On the other hand a clear mind, great sleep, and good energy is so worth it.

Feeling horrible about what I put my ex boyfriend through with my drinking. I wish I could reach out and apologize for it, but he was a bit of an enabler and wasn’t the best in the end anyway. I don’t know. Sad today.

Yesterday was my day one and I wanted to be as distracted as possible and use up as much energy as I could so I could sleep the rest of the day.

So I did some yard work, I pulled up some poison ivy that was on the fence and ground. I was trying to be helpful for my husband. He is extremely sensitive to that stuff and I’m convinced I’m immune.
Showered well after I was done.

Anyways spend the day between cleaning, crying, sleeping, crying etc.

In the middle of the night I woke up itchy all over my legs and arms. I was also short of breath like asthmatic a bit.

So I panicked, washed the dog, washed myself, washed the blankets. Of course I’m googling all my symptoms and it’s like you probably need to go to ER if you’re having an extreme allergic reaction. My husband’s away and I called my sister and she said probably go if your breathing doesn’t get better after a Benadryl and inhaler. Which it didn’t because I’m straight up having a panic attack.

So I’m like fuck it let’s go because I don’t want to go into anaphylactic on my own. The second I get to the ER and they ask me question and check my vitals -which were fine. I realized I was fine I was just having a panic attack, going through with drawl symptoms and what I’m now realizing is the “ants”.

The doctors were pretty confused as to why I was in such a state over being itchy. I have a mark from an IV drip I got two days ago after getting alcohol poisoning. And they were looking at me and wondering if I was on heroin. I cried and told them about the situation. They pretty much asked me if I wanted them to take me to rehab now.

They went to get some resources for AA and stuff and I waited for a half hour and then decided to leave. I didn’t want to just check myself in without talking to my man. Maybe I should have stayed and detoxed?

Anyways I’m going through the first two days alone unfortunately. Still thinking about going to rehab. My husband isn’t sure it’s the right move- logically and financially. And promised me he is going to take care of me and help me set up a therapist today and we are both going to an AA meeting tonight.

I wish I wasn’t in this alone - it’s not his fault he has a strict job and has to be gone over nights sometime.

I wish I went to detox or something. Then I wouldn’t be wondering wtf is wrong with me and trying to take care of myself while panicking at the same time while and googling every feeling I’m having.

He’ll be back tonight and we are going to have a serious talk about rehab. He’s concerned about who’s going to take care of the dog when he has to leave. I’m not worried about my jobs. I think it’s better to just go and take care of myself. Rather than come to work this week in such a bad state.

Maybe I’m through the thick of it though and tomorrow I can manage better. Regardless of rehab or not we need to make a plan asap.
AA, therapy, sponsor.

Im 30 male, drank from 21 to 30 the last 5 years getting heavy almost every day with 8%tall tins or liquor. Had a few nasty withdrawals with seizure-ish feels but never had one. Last few times it was 2 months sober sints I fell off with multiple days of drinking.

This last time it took me about 1.5 -2 months to stop getting spirts of fear and my brain to... normalize i guess u could say. Like feel totally normal.

PS. I can't smoke weed anymore at all or it gives me that weird like seizure aura feeling like a feeling of impending doom and a strong brusting/restless feeling in my brain like something is about to snap.

Same if I drank caffeine but now I can handle caffeine alot better if I drink my coffee slow

But in general im wondering if I had a few drinks again would it trigger withdrawal again. People around me keep saying its fine and it won't trigger anything but idk.

I don't have any cravings and I don't care for alcohol anymore especially after my last experience. My view on it has turned completely sour. Sober living has changed my life in so many ways for the better and im loving it.

Im curious about this because why can't I even enjoy weed anymore or caffeine. I wasn't big on them before but time to time its nice, dose that mean my brain is primed for withdrawals again even if I drink cough syrup because it had small amounts of alcohol in it?.

Well, I am on pretrial release for a misdemeanor charge and have a portable breathalyzer to check if I’ve been drinking. I am also on a GPS monitor deterring me from the alleged victim of this crime

I have already spent 7 days in jail for several violations and I still can’t stop messing up. I am likely going back to jail in less than 2 weeks if I do not get into a rehab, but I have one scheduled for thursday.

They put me on the ankle monitor testing for alcohol and I have little to no trouble not drinking, but it tears up my ankle so severely it takes a month to heal.

The best part about this is that I will not be convicted of this crime, but I am actively delaying its dismissal by my drinking problem. I am so behind embarrassed that I have a lawyer who has been doing cases for 30 years calling me and saying something along the lines of ‘I would do anything to be 21 again, and you’re just screwing yourself up. You need to get help now before you end up in prison or dead in the street’

I guess that’s all. I am sorry.

And I’m SO excited. This is truly all I’ve ever wanted.

Still, we’re in that weird limbo of things. ~8 weeks. We can’t tell anyone. Or, at least aren’t ready to.

The wave of emotions has me all over the place. I’m so excited, ready to be a dad. I can’t wait to be a sober, present, steady presence in their life.

Still, the anxiety of not being able to tell friends, my ma, etc., has me wanting to drink all of a sudden? I’m not sure if it’s the fear of a miscarriage, doubts of my capabilities as a father, my own past trauma, or even just the narcissistic thought of “pay attention to me”!

Fucked up, I know. My brain is weird. Still, it felt worth checking in here first.

Could use some wisdom, I guess. Not gonna drink with you today but needed to put this energy out into the ether.

I’m listening to songs about being a dad, instead, and it’s helping. Connecting with you all will help even more, I suspect. 💚

This might sound mild as I close in on a month sober. I am starting to sleep normal as my bladder allows. My guts are acting normal now. No brain fog. But now I feel like I can never eat enough. I can eat a whole meal and be ready for more. I don't remember ever feeling like this in previous attempts.

I know overall, everything feels better once you’ve stopped. But, for someone like me, I drink every evening, starting around the same time. Once the buzz gets to a great level, I love it. Is it true that other things will make me feel better than that once I’ve quit? Like replacing evening drinking with exercise? I know in the beginning it will be hard, but will I get to a place I’ll be able to say, this natural and or healthy high feels so much better than the best buzz I ever felt?

Today I'm only 22 days sober. But it's the longest I've ever been since I've started drinking in my late teen years (I'm 35)! Ive managed to stop before sometimes for week or two, but never 3!

Last weekend I went with my friends to festival in Paris, I've never been there before. I was really scared that I'll be too tempted. I've had one moment that I was really craving alcohol, but I told about it to my friend (who was drinking) and she was so supportive, and I didn't do it 😭

I'm so excited. One week from now it's going to be one month. I'm already feeling much better, and I know it will just improve. At the moment I'm struggling with terrible dreams and sugar cravings (was killing mocktails on my trip like crazy hahha) but I know that if I stick to not drinking they'll eventually go away too :)

I still can't convince myself to join any AA or similar group, but I think I'll be alright! This reddit community is amazing enough that I'm not feeling alone. And my friends, even if they're drinking themselves, are the most beautiful, supportive group of people I could dream about.

I'm so hopeful, exited and happy about future like I never was before, even if the future is taking just one day at the time :)

IWNDWYT!!!

Im writing this post as a bit of a rant i guess or as a way to get this off my chest. For starters, I come from a family of addicts. I consider myself also to be an addict of many different kinds. Food, weed, other drugs, etc and also alcohol. I am not someone who ever drank super often or consistently, but when I do, even a sip, it's like a demon inside of me wakes up. I have no concept or control for moderation. Every single time is too much. Every single time I wake up with regret and anxiety. Every single time I hate myself for even taking that initial sip. In my past i have hurt myself and those around me severely while black out. Now that I have a daughter, I care a lot more about potentially hurting her. After a situation where I blacked out at a wedding in early June, I have been trying to accept the fact that I just cannot drink ever again. Heres the thing though, my husband drinks often and around me. Theres always beers in the fridge. Any time we go out, he orders a drink. All of our friends drink and they come over to drink. Ive been dropping hints and making comments to my husband about my struggle, but i dont think theyre registering to him how serious it is for me. Last weekend we went to Trader Joes for our usual grocery shopping and they were handing out wine samples that I didnt notice. My husband handed one to me and didnt mention what it was. Without thinking, i just took a sip. The second i realized, i stopped myself from drinking anymore. He finished his sample and bought the bottle. Ive been a mess this past week. Ive been thinking about that sip every day, multiple times a day. The bottle is sitting in the fridge staring at me every time i open it. I feel weak. I want to be one of those people who can enjoy a drink here or there. I want to be normal. I dont understand why my brain is the way it is, and why something as small as a taste has the power to ruin weeks and weeks of my life. I dont know exactly why im writing this post tbh, i guess its because im sitting here, still thinking about that sip. Sometimes im unsure of whether the problem is actually alcohol or if im just weak.

I got a Lyft ride after work and the driver smelled like vodka and was clearly intoxicated. I didn’t say anything I probably should have. I was pretty nervous the whole time. It was also hella triggering to be stuck in a small space with that smell. I’ve been sober about 30 days.
Just all bad. I should probably report him he wouldn’t stop trying to talk to me about golf and I dont even golf.