I live in the DC area which has always been known for being stuffy and traditional when it comes to work attire. Men have always been expected to wear suit and ties, business casual was slacks + tucked in button down shirt + dress shoes. Lately I've been noticing things have loosened up a bit. Capital One Corporate HQ is in the DC area and I was hanging out around there with some friends who work there. I was surprised that so many employees are fairly dressed down. Khaki's with sneakers and an untucked shirt, many were wearing jeans. People were still put together and weren't sloppy but it's far from the traditional suits and business casual. The pandemic definitely accelerated the comfy trend but I also believe that boomers aging out of the workforce and retiring has changed things as well.

What have you noticed has changed since boomers are retiring in the corporate world?

Of course this would work if you don't have a family and work allows it.

Just sit the F back for a week doing nothing too much. Relaxing whatever makes you happy?

I've just been doing it the last 4 days now.

Mostly been playing guitar (learning it right now and piano). Went and saw The Odyssey. Couple runs on the beach. Reading. Just chilling. Eating damn good food. Bit of work online. Got a small bit of ganja for a dry herb vape and a 6 pack of beers today (I rarely have either of these but I had my time when younger) which I'm just gonna chill with a bit listening to music on the roof in the sun overlooking all the humans around me (I live in center of a town). It's only 12PM.

I can almost feel my body relaxing after years of grind mode/survival mode almost.

It's almost like a need this time and then I'll be rejuvenated and lock back in in a few days lol. Eat clean. Train. Focus on goals and build.

I’ve lived a nomadic style all my life. As in, average 5 years per city/town. It’s tons of fun, meet great people and perspectives, enjoy nature’s wonders, and become self aware. As we all know, most best memories come from the people we’re close to. That’s usually friends over family. I’ve made great friendships over time, and really appreciate them. Most of them are long distance now. So I make efforts to call some, plan annual trips with some, send holiday cards to all, etc.

I’m at the point in life where I need reciprocated effort. There’s been like 2-3 people I stopped talking to (defriend them) because they make zero effort to reach out. When I visit them, it’s all fun and games. But it ends until next time I reach out. I’ve let the no contact go for like a year as a test for one friend, and I just had to call because I didn’t want to normalize that dynamic and loose a friend.

We live in a male loneliness epidemic, and it clearly shows guys don’t put enough effort to stay connected with other guys. I don’t get it. How is a bro not that important to do a call every 3 months. Yes, some are consumed by career and parenting, but I get afraid they’ll become that - with a wife as only friend, a grumpy dad with superficial coworker friends, a bored man who lost his non-career purpose, a sad dad that doesn’t seek adventure anymore.

Help me out. What say ye?

I’ve had a couple really bad, hostile conflicts and it has put me constantly on edge with everyone. I’m constantly ready for a fight and I’m just always on edge. I have agoraphobia and I just try to avoid people now. I don’t know what to do. Has anyone experienced this?

Things are never-ending, in my opinion, so I'm constantly learning something new about things I'm attempting, pursuing, or experiencing compared to what I had once imagined them to be.

I often get confused and I'm sure if it's due to my mental and emotional struggles, but at the same time, I'm thankful to be having these "imbalances" that cause me to think inward.

What are you learning about yourself and what you believe is important in life?

How important do you think it is to be a good person and having a strong sense of community? Or, do you prefer to have more solitude and be at peace away from the normalcy of the world?

Hey folks. 28M here needing some advice/hope. I’m sort of restarting my life already. I went to college for behavioral health, then worked as an addiction counselor for a few years. It basically destroyed me. The last 3 years has just been me trying to get back on my feet so to speak. Sorting out Mental health, addiction, trauma, and just trying to find my way. I left behavioral health to look towards blue collar work and I’m just so exhausted from trying to find a better life for myself. I made okay money when I was working in behavioral health health but my mental health health was at its worst and I’m still recovering. I feel lost, hopeless, and think about death quite often. I know a lot of people find success later in life but I’m running out of motivation, hope, energy, and everything in between. I want to give up every day.

Hello guys, I'm looking for guidance I guess but I don't even know what help for me would look like. I'm 32 and just feeling empty lately, like I don't know why I get out of bed in the morning (but I do anyway.)

I live a pretty normal life. I have an apartment with my partner of 10 years. I go to the gym 4x a week. And I work full time nights at a restaurant. I make enough money to maintain where I'm at, but I'll probably not go any further in my current work situation. I'd like to find a new job path but nothing really interests me right now.

Everyday just feels dull, like nothing is interesting to me anymore. I've tried to get excited about things, new music or video games, books and learning instruments, and exercise plans. Anytime I'm getting started with these things, I feel unfulfilled by it and stop within a week. We moved to a new city in a new state last year and I love being here, but I also feel disconnected. No friends here yet like I had back home.

My partner and I are talking about maybe having kids in the next few years, and while I'm not against it, I just feel so dead inside I can't get excited about the prospect. Feels like everything in the world is getting worse including me and my mind.

Anyone who made it this far in my post have any guidance on where I can go from here? I'm not dangerously depressed, just feeling like I can't muster enough excitement to look forward to anything.

hi all, my partner and I keep our finances partly separate, BC but we have a lot of shared expenses.

well the annoying part isn’t really deciding whether something is 50/50. It’s keeping track when:

one person pays the rent
the other pays groceries
some things come from a joint account
some things are paid directly from personal accounts
some expenses are 50/50 while others aren’t
and sometimes you don’t want to settle immediately

I’m curious how other couples actually handle this in real life.

Do you use:
a joint account?
Splitwise / another app?
Excel / Google Sheets?
a running balance?
just roughly keep track mentally?
something else?
And what is the most annoying part of your current system?

I’m especially interested in what happens when you have several months of expenses rather than just a single trip.

Hi guys, I’m facing a dilemma, I work in real estate sales. I’m working for a company and recently I got another offer from the owner of another company.

I’m really good at what I do, owner at my current job loves me and we’re almost like good friends, to an extent we have added each other on all socials and share memes, I have good relationships with all of the co workers, I’m basically a top performer here maybe that’s why. I’m also handling things like sales training regularly.

Buttttt owner is not the nicest to the rest of the team, sometimes people are getting dropped randomly which I find unprofessional

The other company owner, we sat for a 15 minute google meet and he’s offered me a more lucrative base salary + better leads etc and wants me to work with him, I don’t want to leave my current job because I don’t want to ruin my relationship with the current team, managers and the owner.

I’m thinking of making up an excuse to leave but idk.
What would you do?

As I've gotten older and more established I'm a lot more respected but I don't treat younger men the way a lot of older men treated me. I have a lot of older male friends who I don't talk to anymore who used to punk on me a lot and got really grimey when I started growing up and got further in life. How do you carry yourself with younger men now? How do you deal with the resentment you might have towards those men who may have also treated you that way? Do you think it's necessary to "toughen" boys up?

I'm 50M, and I noticed recently that might libido has slipped a bit recently. Everything still works and my wife and I have a satisfying sex life, but I feel... a little less randy, I guess, and I don't like it.

So I'm at that place where I'd go to a urologist / doctor and see if TRT is an option, but before I do that, I wanted to check here and see if anyone around my age has gotten their grove back just by exercising and losing weight. I've read post after post about guys saying TRT is the best thing in the world, and I believe them 100%--but I'd like to get things going naturally first if I can.

I guess what I'm wanting to hear is that there are guys out there who have gone the "lifting weights and slimming down" route and had their libidos come to back to full speed, without using TRT.

If you're out there and turned things around with weights + weight loss, I'd love to hear it! What happened and how did you do it?