I live in the DC area which has always been known for being stuffy and traditional when it comes to work attire. Men have always been expected to wear suit and ties, business casual was slacks + tucked in button down shirt + dress shoes. Lately I've been noticing things have loosened up a bit. Capital One Corporate HQ is in the DC area and I was hanging out around there with some friends who work there. I was surprised that so many employees are fairly dressed down. Khaki's with sneakers and an untucked shirt, many were wearing jeans. People were still put together and weren't sloppy but it's far from the traditional suits and business casual. The pandemic definitely accelerated the comfy trend but I also believe that boomers aging out of the workforce and retiring has changed things as well.

What have you noticed has changed since boomers are retiring in the corporate world?

I started doing Yoga (specifically Reverse kegels) as I realized my premature ejacualtion may be caused by tightening in pelvic floor.

I also started doing squats and RDL at the gym, after stopping leg workouts for a couple months.

Plus, I started doing Anterior Pelvic Tilt stretches for the hips, and strengthening abs and core.

Then all the sudden started seeing frequent urine dripping a couple minutes after using washroom.

Anyone knows the reasoning?

Of course this would work if you don't have a family and work allows it.

Just sit the F back for a week doing nothing too much. Relaxing whatever makes you happy?

I've just been doing it the last 4 days now.

Mostly been playing guitar (learning it right now and piano). Went and saw The Odyssey. Couple runs on the beach. Reading. Just chilling. Eating damn good food. Bit of work online. Got a small bit of ganja for a dry herb vape and a 6 pack of beers today (I rarely have either of these but I had my time when younger) which I'm just gonna chill with a bit listening to music on the roof in the sun overlooking all the humans around me (I live in center of a town). It's only 12PM.

I can almost feel my body relaxing after years of grind mode/survival mode almost.

It's almost like a need this time and then I'll be rejuvenated and lock back in in a few days lol. Eat clean. Train. Focus on goals and build.

I’ve lived a nomadic style all my life. As in, average 5 years per city/town. It’s tons of fun, meet great people and perspectives, enjoy nature’s wonders, and become self aware. As we all know, most best memories come from the people we’re close to. That’s usually friends over family. I’ve made great friendships over time, and really appreciate them. Most of them are long distance now. So I make efforts to call some, plan annual trips with some, send holiday cards to all, etc.

I’m at the point in life where I need reciprocated effort. There’s been like 2-3 people I stopped talking to (defriend them) because they make zero effort to reach out. When I visit them, it’s all fun and games. But it ends until next time I reach out. I’ve let the no contact go for like a year as a test for one friend, and I just had to call because I didn’t want to normalize that dynamic and loose a friend.

We live in a male loneliness epidemic, and it clearly shows guys don’t put enough effort to stay connected with other guys. I don’t get it. How is a bro not that important to do a call every 3 months. Yes, some are consumed by career and parenting, but I get afraid they’ll become that - with a wife as only friend, a grumpy dad with superficial coworker friends, a bored man who lost his non-career purpose, a sad dad that doesn’t seek adventure anymore.

Help me out. What say ye?

Hey folks. 28M here needing some advice/hope. I’m sort of restarting my life already. I went to college for behavioral health, then worked as an addiction counselor for a few years. It basically destroyed me. The last 3 years has just been me trying to get back on my feet so to speak. Sorting out Mental health, addiction, trauma, and just trying to find my way. I left behavioral health to look towards blue collar work and I’m just so exhausted from trying to find a better life for myself. I made okay money when I was working in behavioral health health but my mental health health was at its worst and I’m still recovering. I feel lost, hopeless, and think about death quite often. I know a lot of people find success later in life but I’m running out of motivation, hope, energy, and everything in between. I want to give up every day.

I turned 30 years old. What advises would help yourselves on that age?

Hello guys, I'm looking for guidance I guess but I don't even know what help for me would look like. I'm 32 and just feeling empty lately, like I don't know why I get out of bed in the morning (but I do anyway.)

I live a pretty normal life. I have an apartment with my partner of 10 years. I go to the gym 4x a week. And I work full time nights at a restaurant. I make enough money to maintain where I'm at, but I'll probably not go any further in my current work situation. I'd like to find a new job path but nothing really interests me right now.

Everyday just feels dull, like nothing is interesting to me anymore. I've tried to get excited about things, new music or video games, books and learning instruments, and exercise plans. Anytime I'm getting started with these things, I feel unfulfilled by it and stop within a week. We moved to a new city in a new state last year and I love being here, but I also feel disconnected. No friends here yet like I had back home.

My partner and I are talking about maybe having kids in the next few years, and while I'm not against it, I just feel so dead inside I can't get excited about the prospect. Feels like everything in the world is getting worse including me and my mind.

Anyone who made it this far in my post have any guidance on where I can go from here? I'm not dangerously depressed, just feeling like I can't muster enough excitement to look forward to anything.

Men who were very ambitious while your children were young: what did you sacrifice for success that, looking back, absolutely wasn’t worth it?

Things are never-ending, in my opinion, so I'm constantly learning something new about things I'm attempting, pursuing, or experiencing compared to what I had once imagined them to be.

I often get confused and I'm sure if it's due to my mental and emotional struggles, but at the same time, I'm thankful to be having these "imbalances" that cause me to think inward.

What are you learning about yourself and what you believe is important in life?

How important do you think it is to be a good person and having a strong sense of community? Or, do you prefer to have more solitude and be at peace away from the normalcy of the world?

hi all, my partner and I keep our finances partly separate, BC but we have a lot of shared expenses.

well the annoying part isn’t really deciding whether something is 50/50. It’s keeping track when:

one person pays the rent
the other pays groceries
some things come from a joint account
some things are paid directly from personal accounts
some expenses are 50/50 while others aren’t
and sometimes you don’t want to settle immediately

I’m curious how other couples actually handle this in real life.

Do you use:
a joint account?
Splitwise / another app?
Excel / Google Sheets?
a running balance?
just roughly keep track mentally?
something else?
And what is the most annoying part of your current system?

I’m especially interested in what happens when you have several months of expenses rather than just a single trip.

Hi guys, I’m facing a dilemma, I work in real estate sales. I’m working for a company and recently I got another offer from the owner of another company.

I’m really good at what I do, owner at my current job loves me and we’re almost like good friends, to an extent we have added each other on all socials and share memes, I have good relationships with all of the co workers, I’m basically a top performer here maybe that’s why. I’m also handling things like sales training regularly.

Buttttt owner is not the nicest to the rest of the team, sometimes people are getting dropped randomly which I find unprofessional

The other company owner, we sat for a 15 minute google meet and he’s offered me a more lucrative base salary + better leads etc and wants me to work with him, I don’t want to leave my current job because I don’t want to ruin my relationship with the current team, managers and the owner.

I’m thinking of making up an excuse to leave but idk.
What would you do?

I’ve had a couple really bad, hostile conflicts and it has put me constantly on edge with everyone. I’m constantly ready for a fight and I’m just always on edge. I have agoraphobia and I just try to avoid people now. I don’t know what to do. Has anyone experienced this?

I’ve got neighborhood cats treating my yard like one giant litter box and it’s starting to drive me insane.

I don’t even know how many times I’ve stepped in cat shit while mowing the lawn. I don’t have cats myself, so cleaning up after everyone else’s pets is getting pretty old.

I’m hoping someone here has actually tackled this problem and found something that works.

I'm 20, in my final year of uni, and I've realised I tell people too much about myself. Not deliberately, it just comes out. I'm quite extroverted and I think I use openness to build rapport, so by the time I notice, I've said more than I meant to. And it also means I can't really keep secrets at times or I spill too much "tea"

The thing that made me notice it: I find myself envying people who are hard to read. Nobody knows much about them and they seem more composed for it. I don't want to become quiet or guarded, because being outgoing is genuinely one of my strengths, I'm good with new people and it's opened doors for me. I just want to be able to choose what I share instead of defaulting to everything.

I've started trying to pause before sharing something personal and asking whether the person actually needs to know. It helps a bit, but it feels unnatural and I don't always catch it in the moment.

Two things I'd like advice on:

1. When someone asks a question you'd rather not fully answer, what do you actually say? I can either answer properly or go awkward, and I don't have a middle option that keeps the conversation going.
2. For anyone who's made this change, did it cost you anything socially? I'm worried about coming across as distant to people who are used to me being open.

My fiancee is really into wine. Like actually into it. She knows regions, notes, brands, all that stuff. I’ve just been drinking whatever she pours me. I want to surprise her with a bottle sometime but I realized I have basically zero idea what I’m doing. With whiskey I understand the whole vanilla, caramel, oak, smoke thing because Ive tasted enough of it over the years. Wine is different. Ill read a description that says cherry, tobacco, leather, cedar and to me it just tastes likeany other wine. And in general i like drinking it but is there a good way to train your palate without turning this into a second job, bc i did some research like some books and stuff but they seem pretty complicated for me.

I'm at the start of my 20's (I'm 21) and I've already made a few mistakes. I keep seeing online that as a man, as long as you keep going, keep pushing for your dreams and never give up on yourself that when you reach 30 you'll look back and be happy that you tried.

I have what one would call unrealistic dreams especially for someone from my country. I'm from Botswana and I want to be a published fantasy writer and comic book writer. Not like the top 1%, just have a smaller secondary writing career to a day job. Have a small niche audience that enjoys my work, my own mini community. Only one from my country has gotten to that point so I know it's possible, I just carry heavy self doubt because all I've done in my life is fail but I've wanted this since I was 15.

I'm going through a rough time and I'm trying to hold onto hope that for as long as I keep pushing, keep grinding that someday it'll all make sense. People keep telling me your 30's are when as a man it makes sense or at least makes more sense.

Even if my dreams never come true, I might end up in a place I'm happy with because I at least tried.

Right now I just want to genuinely ask, does it truly get better for as long as you put in the work?

I'm 50M, and I noticed recently that might libido has slipped a bit recently. Everything still works and my wife and I have a satisfying sex life, but I feel... a little less randy, I guess, and I don't like it.

So I'm at that place where I'd go to a urologist / doctor and see if TRT is an option, but before I do that, I wanted to check here and see if anyone around my age has gotten their grove back just by exercising and losing weight. I've read post after post about guys saying TRT is the best thing in the world, and I believe them 100%--but I'd like to get things going naturally first if I can.

I guess what I'm wanting to hear is that there are guys out there who have gone the "lifting weights and slimming down" route and had their libidos come to back to full speed, without using TRT.

If you're out there and turned things around with weights + weight loss, I'd love to hear it! What happened and how did you do it?

As I've gotten older and more established I'm a lot more respected but I don't treat younger men the way a lot of older men treated me. I have a lot of older male friends who I don't talk to anymore who used to punk on me a lot and got really grimey when I started growing up and got further in life. How do you carry yourself with younger men now? How do you deal with the resentment you might have towards those men who may have also treated you that way? Do you think it's necessary to "toughen" boys up?

Hey everyone,

I’m turning 28 soon and hitting a stage where I’m reflecting a lot on where I’m at compared to where I thought I’d be. I wanted to ask those of you in your late 20s and 30s what life actually looks like right now across a few areas:

Dating & Attraction: Honestly, I feel like I’ve only really stepped into my most confident, attractive self in the last two years after starting a solid skincare routine and staying consistent with exercise. For those dating at 28–35+, what is the scene actually like? Is it reasonable to feel like you're just starting to hit your stride now, and is it fairly straightforward to meet quality partners at this age?

Social Life: How has your social circle shifted? Do you find it harder to maintain friendships, or have your connections just gotten smaller and more intentional?

Career Timeline: I’m currently in graduate school transitioning into my long-term career field, so I sometimes feel a bit behind people who jumped straight into full-time corporate jobs at 22. For those who switched paths late or finished grad school in their late 20s/early 30s, how did your career trajectory play out once you finished?

I appreciate your responses.

Hi, I recently turned 40, and over the past year in particular, a few of my close friends have really hit their stride and achieved major financial and career milestones.

On the other hand, I’ve struggled a lot over the last few years with various challenges. I got a late start in my career, and while I’ve secured a stable job with a livable income, I’m nowhere near the level my friends are at.

Lately, I’ve been feeling drained after hanging out with them. Hearing about their latest promotions or new vacation homes leaves me feeling dejected, disappointed, and filled with dread. I know "comparison is the thief of joy," and I try hard not to compare my situation to theirs, but that’s easier said than done.

I know this isn't a healthy emotional response, and I don't want to lose good friends over envy. I find myself longing for the "good old days" when we were all just getting by and didn't talk as much about achievements.

I’m not particularly materialistic, but I do dream of homeownership and being able to travel more. Seeing my friends live the life I wish I were living triggers an envy I’m struggling to control.

Has anyone else dealt with this shift in their 30s or 40s? Any advice on how to better cope with these feelings or manage these dynamics without pulling away entirely would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

At first: We're blue-collar workers. That's important because of the social dynamics. My relationship was okay with this guy when we first started together. He seemed like a typical cool guy, confident, a bit reserved, but everyone seems to trust him and maybe look up to him.

What changed: While we're all at relatively the same level, I overview a lot of the daily tasks. This looks like I'm at a higher level, but it's not technically. For those who know how factories/plants work, I'm a panel operator. My coworker (we'll call G) got temporary delegation because my supervisor and his assistant will be absent for a while. I thought it was confusing at first because I'm more locally qualified for the job (he has more work experience from another company), but I didn't much of it since my task is critical and he doesn't have the credentials to do it.

The events: I wanted to send an email to administration about something that's been ignored, but I had to confirm, and confirming it required that somebody do some hard work. G was against confirming, saying that he was sure the issue wasn't attended and I can trust him. I can't, of course, because sometimes stuff is attended in another shift and somebody forgets to report it, if I make a mistake I (and maybe the shift) look dumb. When I first said we should confirm, it was a group convo and he said it wasn't necessary. I just agreed. A few minutes later I called G alone (since this has to go through him) and said we should confirm. He was like "OK, if you insist". And we did and we confirmed the issue. His stance was "I told you so". But seemed to dislike the whole interaction.

This seems silly, but this kind of situation happened more than once, and I feel what's going on here is that different workstyles have become more than that. I have the personality or archetype of a by-the-books person. I'm not particularly overworking, I just worry. What I've seen from people who are like G is that they like to keep things simple, and when they see someone who's introverted and by-the-books, they think of him as selfish and doesn't think twice about overworking his coworkers. That's what I feel his perception has become since he's been delegated as a foreman (supervisor's assistant), and he seems like the kind of person to make quick judgements and not give second chances.

The problem is this; he's popular with most of our shift (mostly new guys), and I don't want to clash about simple jobs if it's going to make my environment unbearable by him poisoning the others against me. Today I left work in a really bad mood because he criticized my work today a bit, and I'm relatively positive he only did that because he dislikes my personality. My question is, what do I do? Since it's a blue collar job the social aspect can make your job easy or hell, otherwise I don't really give a fuck about his friendship if it's going to be this way.

One option I thought was to simply talk to him; I know his type hates honest talk, I'll just say "it's normal to disagree about work, but I felt you take it personally when we disagree. Is there something on your mind?" I know this will go either way. There's a big, big chance he'll brush it off, but it's also possible he'll soften up and change his mind even after that.

My other option is to simply gulp take it up with my supervisor,a lthough I've never "snitched" like this in my 15 years of work, which can be death sentence for this group. I could simply deliver it as "we disagree a lot about work, and it's making my job difficult", and I feel it's getting to the point where I feel he'll be a detriment to my work because I can't do what I feel needs to be done. I suppose I could also simply say "this group doesn't like me, maybe I should transfer to another group."

Of course, it could be that I'm exaggerating things and that I'm in my head, maybe he criticized my work unjustly because he's stressed. And that I should just deal with disagreements next time in a better manner, put my foot down and do something more practical.

I really need guidance here, thank you.

I’ve been reflecting lately and I realized I don’t have any goals I’m working towards. I have a good career, no debts, am consistent with the gym/diet/physique, have great friends. Before this year I’d always have something to work towards but for the first time in my life I can say I achieved my goals. I do have financial goals but that’s a longterm thing, I want something else I can work on in the meantime and I literally don’t know what else to do. Is there something you realized in your 30’s or 40’s you wish you started earlier? Or something fun to work toward?

Edit: Thank you for the advice, I am reading through all comments, and they just made me think what I wanna do moving forward. Thank you so much kind strangers ❤️

Anyone here have low hemoglobin/hematocrit, RBC’s in their 40’s that turned out to be something other than cancer? I have an appt to go over labs more and will be pushing for a GI work-up. But this is new for me and looking for other things to look into.

My H/H, RBC’s and testosterone are all low. Everything else was within the test ranges. Waiting for ferritin and iron panel labs.

I feel like I hit 40 and feel so old now.