r/LongDistance Nov 06 '24

Temporary changes and announcements.

40 Upvotes

As a precaution, we have upped the requirements to participate in the subreddit. The moderation team will adjust them to the least restrictive necessary for a safe community.

As always, bigotry, xenophobia, misinformation, transphobia, anti-lgbtq+ sentiments, homophobia, harrassment, trolling, and sexism are not tolerated on this subreddit.

If anyone is in need of long distance relationship help, and is unable to post, our discord is, as always, available.

https://discord.com/servers/r-longdistance-support-community-for-ldrs-627447544041046016


r/LongDistance May 01 '20

Meta Looking for resources for watching movies, playing games, communicating, flights, hotels and more? Check out the r/LongDistance wiki!

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525 Upvotes

r/LongDistance 8h ago

Reunited — againnn

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331 Upvotes

This time we decided to meet in Canada (apparently the officials found that weird at the border 😶‍🌫️). Been loving it here.

I can still work and by 1PM I’m done for the day. So excited for the next weeks.


r/LongDistance 5h ago

Story I need to tell someone about this!

121 Upvotes

So I(28M) met this girl(23F) online through reddit. Originally meeting as friends to chat and game and whatnot. We texted everyday for around 2 months straight, not missing a day. I didnt want to get my hopes up but I started to fall HARD for her. Shes perfect in so many simple ways, I cant get enough of her. The only issue is we live across the world from each other. I stamped those feelings and stayed close friends with her, watching movies on call and just yapping endlessly. Then one night, it all changes. She comes forward and confesses to me, ME! It was like i was in highschool all over again, I got so giddy and happy and emotional. After talking about it we realized we were both such idiots and liked each other for awhile and just didnt see it. We are either very dense or very stupid, either way i couldnt be happier at the outcome. We are determined to make this work, I want nothing more than to spend every moment with this girl. We are planning a trip together to finally spend time together and I cant wait any longer. I just needed to shout this to the ether as im so thrilled and excited to have found this amazing girl!


r/LongDistance 18h ago

Success Closed the gap! FL🇺🇸 to BC🇨🇦. Got married! Moved to Canada, eh!

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522 Upvotes

Im the bride from Florida! After 2 years almost 3,000 miles apart, I officially moved to canada! Super super easy country to migrate too! I hope all my ldr couples have this ending...stick with it, the rewards are so sweet!!


r/LongDistance 7h ago

Success CLOSED THE GAP FINALLYYYYYYY! 🥲🥹 From NY🍎 to MI 🌳

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59 Upvotes

After a year of dating long distance, the love of my life is moving to Michigan to be with me


r/LongDistance 6h ago

Breakup finally made it official

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29 Upvotes

I finally made it official and broke up with her. She didn't notice I left her on read and didn't say anything the entire day. I'm tired of this so I just decided to officially break up with her.
~
Also sorry shout my other post and the comment I made. I was just getting really tired and tbh didn't expect people to actually DM me and all that. I'm sorry :<

But thank you for all of the support and concerns, all of you. Today I really needed to because it was actually draining me so it was either stay and continue this or end things and heal myself.

I'm doing a bit better now though, went to the mall with my dad for a little walk and got some Starbucks for a snack. I even got some new shoes! I know it's gonna take a bit for me to heal, mentally and emotionally, but I'm gonna get through it.

I'm also gonna focus on in-person relationships instead of LDR once I heal myself :3


r/LongDistance 22h ago

Meeting I met my person

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314 Upvotes

We (34/35) met on Facebook Dating at the end of July, and they came for their birthday weekend this past weekend. It felt so natural being with them, and my queer little heart is happy knowing I met my person. I have so much fun with them, and it was devestating dropping them off at the bus station yesterday. They’re planning on coming back on the 11th for the weekend. I’m lucky because we’re the same time zone and they live only 5ish hours away. They’re planning on moving to be near me as soon as they graduate school in the spring. These next 10 months will be challenging, but they’re well worth every “see you later.”


r/LongDistance 8h ago

Question LDR gf suddenly distant, blames "fatigue" but is active on Character AI for hours, am I overreacting?

17 Upvotes

Me (M21) and my gf (F23) have been dating for 2 and a half years now. We used to call every day for hours. Playing games, watching videos together, etc.. It was CONSTANT. Although in the first year I wanted to have my own time as well and we got into a lot of arguments about that, I changed for her and started spending WAY more time with her.

Lately she's barely texting, when she does it takes 5-6 hours and it's short. Her excuse is she's "physically exhausted" and can't text like she used to. Me, not wanting to overreact, I acknowledged it and got busy myself. The emotion and the way she talks remained, the frequency is what changed.

When she visited in person 2 weeks ago I noticed she kept hiding her phone and closing it whenever I got close. Found out later it was Character AI. I told her early in our relationship I used to use it too (not anymore though) so I don't get why she'd hide it from me specifically. It weirded me out A LOT but I didn't confront her or anything.

Now she's basically swapped our calls for being on Character AI and listening to music most of the day. I'm very concerned because this started happening a month ago when she started skipping out every day of work because of her headaches, later I come to find out she's been texting with Character AI this whole time instead.

Not sure if I'm overreacting or if this is a real red flag. Anyone been through something similar?


r/LongDistance 1d ago

Image/Video This sub in nutshell lol

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2.9k Upvotes

It’s funny how every time I open the subreddit there’s posts of total joy love and happy milestones right alongside posts about horrific breakups doubts and fights.

Really great contrast haha

Anyway I love this sub because nobody else understands our situation like we do so thank you 💖💗💖
Just now lady in another sub just straight up told me to break up and find a partner closer to me because „long distance never works out”.
Hah like I said im grateful for understanding 😅


r/LongDistance 1h ago

Need Advice How to develop at a distance? 34F, 34M

Upvotes

I met a friend of a friend while visiting his country at the beginning of this year. We shared social media after hanging out with our mutual friend and texted continuously with occasional calls until I went back to his country this summer. This was a period of about 8 months.

During my time there this summer, we got to spend a fair amount of one-on-one time together, but it never turned romantic. However, after I got home again, we admitted we both like each other, and now we have no idea how to progress our relationship while being so physically far away. What advice do you have on this stage, and what kinds of things do you look for to evaluate compatibility at a distance? We agreed to continue talking to figure things out but are not officially dating.

TIA


r/LongDistance 17h ago

Image/Video Ldr more positive this time

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61 Upvotes

This is my second ldr and he lives 9 hours away in another state we met on fetlife(iykyk) and ive now been up to visit him twice. Plans for him to move closer to me our kids are already besties and it feels so perfect this was the weekend when i went to visit(me 38 him 37)


r/LongDistance 17h ago

Need Advice We (F29) (M32) finally met—and now neither of us knows if we’re in love anymore

58 Upvotes

Me (F29) and my boyfriend (M32) finally met in person after eight months of long distance (🇵🇭–🇪🇸).

On our fourth night together, he told me he was confused because he didn’t feel the same love for me in person as he did through the screen. He said, “But I’m willing to try.”

Hearing that made me incredibly sad and disappointed. I understand that this can happen in an LDR, because sometimes the connection you build online feels different when you finally meet in real life. I didn’t want to pressure him, so I started giving him some space during the following days.

I think he noticed the distance because he started trying to get closer to me, even pulling me toward him just to hug me. But strangely, those moments also made me question my own feelings.

Do I actually love him? Do I just like him? Was it love, or was it infatuation built from eight months of longing and imagining what being together would feel like?

I’ve experienced an LDR before, and it was very different. When I met my previous partner, I felt incredibly happy and at peace. My mind became quiet. I felt calm just being beside him.

With my current boyfriend, however, I noticed that I was actually excited to go home.

We have many similarities, but also differences that sometimes cause us to clash. During the two weeks we spent together, we fought around 2–3 times. Maybe that’s normal, but it still made me question our compatibility in real life.

The last day hurt the most. I imagined our final hours would be emotional, that we would talk, hold each other, and make plans to see each other again. Instead, two hours before I went to the airport, he was mostly on his phone.

Before leaving, I asked him, “Will we meet again soon?”

He simply said, “Maybe.” 🤷

That answer has stayed in my mind ever since.

Now, one or two weeks after meeting, I still don’t know what to do. I’m even thinking about canceling my visa application to Spain, because I was planning to visit him there, and now I don’t know if there will even be a relationship to visit for.

Part of me thinks we should give it more time. Maybe two weeks isn’t enough to understand each other after eight months apart. Maybe feelings can grow once the initial awkwardness disappears.

But another part of me wonders if I’m just holding onto something because we spent eight months waiting for this moment. Maybe he’s also confused and waiting for me to be the one to end things.

I don’t want to give up too quickly, but I also don’t want to stay just because of the time we’ve already invested.

If you were in my position, would you stay and give it more time, or would you take this as a sign to let go?


r/LongDistance 2h ago

Question I 21F My 22M boyfriend follows alot of people on instagram

3 Upvotes

My bf follows thousand of people, thousands of people follow him back, many of them are girls. He says he doesn’t know them personally but they are from his school. Should i be worried about them?
He doesn’t like reels and posts on instagram, and he doesn’t repost also.
Few of these girls don’t follow him back also. He made his account in 2015.
Should i tolerate this?


r/LongDistance 19m ago

Need Advice My [30M] partner [25F] wants to go on one on one hangouts with her male friend. Need advice on this please

Upvotes

What do you guys think about your partner going on one on one dinner and then to the movies with her guy friend. And also her going on a one on one trip with her guy friend? What do you guys feel about this? And what are your boundaries. Whats considered normal and what's not?


r/LongDistance 54m ago

Question Title: I’m struggling with physical attraction and intimacy in my LDR — is this normal?

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Upvotes

r/LongDistance 3h ago

Boyfriend called me fat

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3 Upvotes

r/LongDistance 5h ago

graduated to medium distance!!

3 Upvotes

I recently moved a 2-3 hour drive from my boyfriend. Life is amazing, I’ve been able to see him every other week three times in a row instead of going for month to months without knowing when i would see him next. I’m so insanely happy


r/LongDistance 6h ago

Need Support Meeting my LDR boyfriend soon and I’m suddenly so insecure

5 Upvotes

Meeting my LDR boyfriend for the first time in a few months, and I’ve been doing pretty much everything I can to prepare especially physically.

We’ve been together for a year and 4 months, and although we’ve seen all of each other on camera countless times, I’m realizing that actually being physically together feels completely different.

I used to have acne, thankfully I’ve gotten past that, but I was left with some slightly deep acne scars. I also have a lot of freckle-looking spots across my body. I’ve been doing treatments, like lasers, skincare and basically all the things I can think of to feel better about my appearance before we meet.

I’m pretty sure we’ll eventually be intimate too, especially since I’ll be staying with him for almost two months, and honestly…that thought makes me really insecure.

He knows about my insecurities and tells me he doesn’t care about any of it. I believe him, but I still can’t get rid of the thought that he’ll actually see everything in person and notice things that he hasn’t noticed on camera. I know he loves me, but I keep thinking, what if he sees me differently once we're actually together?

I’m also a huge overthinker, so I can turn a tiny insecurity into a hundred different scenarios in my head. :(((((

I know these things probably sound insignificant, but when they’re things you’re already self-conscious about, the idea of someone you love seeing them up close, especially someone you’ve waited so long to meet is.just.terrifying.

Has anyone here experienced something similar before meeting their LDR partner for the first time?
How did you get past those insecurities once you were actually together?

And if you’re on the other side of this and there were things about their appearance that you didn’t find particularly attractive or wished were different/better, did it actually affect how you felt about them?

I’d really love to hear both sides. I think I need some perspective from people who have actually been through it. Thanks!!!


r/LongDistance 3h ago

Long distance after marriage

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2 Upvotes

r/LongDistance 8h ago

Question Do travel romances ever work out? (Male 28 and female 22)

6 Upvotes

So I met this guy my first day of solo traveling in a hostel. I was talking to another girl and he invited us to breakfast. We had a great time together and ended up spending the whole day together.

The next day the other girl had to leave and the guy asked me to go to a restaurant. We did and ended up kissing that night. I told him pretty early on that I will not have sex with him until I k ow in which direction it’ll move. He completely understood and we went back to my hostel room and cuddled the whole night.

The next few days we hung out everyday and he really was the sweetest and most genuine guy I had ever met and we had an amazing connection.

He ended up leaving to go to Laos and I stayed back in Thailand but we continued talking to each other and even called each other once. He told me he was going to Vietnam and I suggested I‘d join him.
When k arrived in Vietnam I got into a very sketchy situation with a taxi driver and he stayed up the whole 2 hours it took me to get to the hostel at 3 a.m in the morning to make sure I was safe.

We then traveled through the mountains of Vietnam together for about 2 weeks with a group and had a great time though some moments occasionally were a bit awkward.
But we had a lot of good conversations and he told me he would only date to marry which is exactly my standpoint of dating as well and he talked about how much he wants a family one day.

We came back to Hanoi and spent 2 more days together until he had to leave. The last day I asked him how things were headed and he suggested we’d stay in touch and go back to our native countries and see how things would feel if we weren’t in the travel bubble anymore. He also told me I should come visit him in Toronto. (He is from Canada and I am from Europe).
It‘s been about a week since we parted and we kept in touch though communication has been a bit slow. I am considering visiting him in late October.

Do you think k it could work out?


r/LongDistance 3h ago

Question Me 19M in a Ldr with 19F. Is it time to break up?

2 Upvotes

I've been in a long distance relationship with a girl for 5 months and half now. We met in July at her and everything was so perfect. Since we left each other at the airport I've been crying and missing her a lot. In the last days however she seems to be more distant. When we call she care less about me, sometimes even seems disconnected, send me less messages, and im getting pretty tired that sometimes when she's already nervous for something else she answers to me bad. We told about that and she says she got anxiety attacks for which she's no more able to control herself. She got many of those attacks even when we met, but I tried to be comprehensive and help her, not getting it bad. However now im tired of that. Today she did it again over a small thing I've done while calling that she even misunderstood. After this i told her I need some time alone to think and she keeps texting me saying she misses me but i feel like i dont want to answer or call her. I've always been a kind and patience person and I love her a lot, so im feeling really bad in even thinking of breaking up with her after all this. Any advice?


r/LongDistance 15h ago

Question What qualifies as Long Distance? (16f and 17m)

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20 Upvotes

My understanding was that it was a relationship where you can’t see each other due to distance and though to an adult my meagre hour drive isnt a lot but to a teenager living on a farm (so no buses) that is a huge distance.

I have no way to see him and will copy paste my other post in the comments if necessary. i was sure that people here would at least be somewhat understanding but i appear to be mistaken.

is there another term youd prefer I use for my relationship? If not please dont just comment “it’s not long distance” as that does not bene you nor I. I’m not an evil being or a moron, I’m a teenager looking for advice so please stop some of the rudeness


r/LongDistance 4h ago

It's the first time in my LDR that I'm having a dilemma...

2 Upvotes

I (f33) have been dating my LDR partner (m41) for over a year. We were online gaming buddies for yrs and kept in contact even after we got busy with life.

We both met and we met each other's family too. We confessed we loved each other when we first met (4 months in). Since then everything went amazingly. He is about to finish German lessons so that when he moves in with me, it will be easier to get a job.

Honestly, we went to vacation for two weeks and he is just an amazing person and treats me with respect. We are both work oriented and independent but we are very "cuddly" when we are together. He is the first person I want to be with and live with... Meanwhile we booked the one way ticket last Saturday. The flight is beginning of November.

I work full time and I'm doing something like a bachelor and it will finish this October. So timing is perfect!

Now... I want to keep studying and he knew it from the beginning. Problem is.. I need to do two more courses before the next exams (master is another 2yrs) so now I might need to do Monday 1st course, Tuesday second course and Wednesday + Saturday the bachelor class and I work...

He told me today that he is worried that I will be overwhelmed as things will change in my life. Currently my mom helps with things like laundry and cooking when she can and helps with my dog etc. (she lives next to me)... Next year she will move to her other "home" which is in another country.

And he will move to me in October. He said he's worried that I will not have time for myself nor for us and that it would be better to do the two courses next year and the master degree beginning of 2028... It makes sense! But somehow I felt hurt... Even tho I know that he is right... I wanted to do it next year and just be done with it 😅

I dunno how to feel...


r/LongDistance 5h ago

Need Advice My (25M) girlfriend (23F) of a month can't put my IRL and online self together

2 Upvotes

We've initially met online when she joined my friend group and we'd known each other for 3 months total when we started dating, having met in person once before that in a 2-day small gathering.

We've been talking a lot, including very personal things, for basically 3 months and we've grown pretty close, but she's very shy so she's most comfortable through text but we do call daily ever since we started dating, we haven't done video calls yet (I've offered being the only one turning my camera on but she doesn't want it to be unbalanced and wants to wait until she feels ready as well), and we've only seen in person once since we started dating (she came to my home for 2 days) and she was fairly uncomfortable the whole time, which I felt but thought was just shyness because she had warned me she might not even talk, though we did talk quite a bit, but she only told me why she was awkward after leaving, she couldn't really piece together everything we did online with the person in front of her, which she felt like she didn't really know.

According to her it's not that I act significantly different in person (I've asked friends I met online if they agreed and they all thought I wasn't particularly different IRL) but rather that she's never before met people other than in real life so she felt the same way meeting our common friends but more so when it comes to me because she's the one I'm closest to, so the disconnect is even larger. For me, it's not my first time meeting online friends and I've never really felt this to this extent so I'm not sure how to help her. She feels like something's wrong with her and it makes her very anxious, and because of this she doesn't know when she'll feel ready for us to see each other again but nothing's changed between us. We've discussed the possibility that she might never feel comfortable in person and that it would probably mean a breakup but have agreed to give it time for now. Most of my friends think we just need to see each other more even if it's uncomfortable, which I would tend to agree with but don't wanna force her. The uncertainty feels very stressful for the both of us.

Other things we've considered are discussing again some things we said online in person for her to better connect them to who I am, not meeting with just the two of us so she can get used to who I am in person by seeing me interact with friends (that's how we initially met online) and putting less pressure on just her to talk to me, and maybe if nothing works, pretending to start from scratch in person ?

I can edit to add any relevant details should any questions arise, all advice is very welcome especially if you or your SO have experienced something like this, thanks in advance !