This time we decided to meet in Canada (apparently the officials found that weird at the border 😶‍🌫️). Been loving it here.

I can still work and by 1PM I’m done for the day. So excited for the next weeks.

So I(28M) met this girl(23F) online through reddit. Originally meeting as friends to chat and game and whatnot. We texted everyday for around 2 months straight, not missing a day. I didnt want to get my hopes up but I started to fall HARD for her. Shes perfect in so many simple ways, I cant get enough of her. The only issue is we live across the world from each other. I stamped those feelings and stayed close friends with her, watching movies on call and just yapping endlessly. Then one night, it all changes. She comes forward and confesses to me, ME! It was like i was in highschool all over again, I got so giddy and happy and emotional. After talking about it we realized we were both such idiots and liked each other for awhile and just didnt see it. We are either very dense or very stupid, either way i couldnt be happier at the outcome. We are determined to make this work, I want nothing more than to spend every moment with this girl. We are planning a trip together to finally spend time together and I cant wait any longer. I just needed to shout this to the ether as im so thrilled and excited to have found this amazing girl!

Im the bride from Florida! After 2 years almost 3,000 miles apart, I officially moved to canada! Super super easy country to migrate too! I hope all my ldr couples have this ending...stick with it, the rewards are so sweet!!

After a year of dating long distance, the love of my life is moving to Michigan to be with me

I finally made it official and broke up with her. She didn't notice I left her on read and didn't say anything the entire day. I'm tired of this so I just decided to officially break up with her.
~
Also sorry shout my other post and the comment I made. I was just getting really tired and tbh didn't expect people to actually DM me and all that. I'm sorry :<

But thank you for all of the support and concerns, all of you. Today I really needed to because it was actually draining me so it was either stay and continue this or end things and heal myself.

I'm doing a bit better now though, went to the mall with my dad for a little walk and got some Starbucks for a snack. I even got some new shoes! I know it's gonna take a bit for me to heal, mentally and emotionally, but I'm gonna get through it.

I'm also gonna focus on in-person relationships instead of LDR once I heal myself :3

We (34/35) met on Facebook Dating at the end of July, and they came for their birthday weekend this past weekend. It felt so natural being with them, and my queer little heart is happy knowing I met my person. I have so much fun with them, and it was devestating dropping them off at the bus station yesterday. They’re planning on coming back on the 11th for the weekend. I’m lucky because we’re the same time zone and they live only 5ish hours away. They’re planning on moving to be near me as soon as they graduate school in the spring. These next 10 months will be challenging, but they’re well worth every “see you later.”

What do you guys think about your partner going on one on one dinner and then to the movies with her guy friend. And also her going on a one on one trip with her guy friend? What do you guys feel about this? And what are your boundaries. Whats considered normal and what's not?

Me (M21) and my gf (F23) have been dating for 2 and a half years now. We used to call every day for hours. Playing games, watching videos together, etc.. It was CONSTANT. Although in the first year I wanted to have my own time as well and we got into a lot of arguments about that, I changed for her and started spending WAY more time with her.

Lately she's barely texting, when she does it takes 5-6 hours and it's short. Her excuse is she's "physically exhausted" and can't text like she used to. Me, not wanting to overreact, I acknowledged it and got busy myself. The emotion and the way she talks remained, the frequency is what changed.

When she visited in person 2 weeks ago I noticed she kept hiding her phone and closing it whenever I got close. Found out later it was Character AI. I told her early in our relationship I used to use it too (not anymore though) so I don't get why she'd hide it from me specifically. It weirded me out A LOT but I didn't confront her or anything.

Now she's basically swapped our calls for being on Character AI and listening to music most of the day. I'm very concerned because this started happening a month ago when she started skipping out every day of work because of her headaches, later I come to find out she's been texting with Character AI this whole time instead.

Not sure if I'm overreacting or if this is a real red flag. Anyone been through something similar?

It’s funny how every time I open the subreddit there’s posts of total joy love and happy milestones right alongside posts about horrific breakups doubts and fights.

Really great contrast haha

Anyway I love this sub because nobody else understands our situation like we do so thank you 💖💗💖
Just now lady in another sub just straight up told me to break up and find a partner closer to me because „long distance never works out”.
Hah like I said im grateful for understanding 😅

I met a friend of a friend while visiting his country at the beginning of this year. We shared social media after hanging out with our mutual friend and texted continuously with occasional calls until I went back to his country this summer. This was a period of about 8 months.

During my time there this summer, we got to spend a fair amount of one-on-one time together, but it never turned romantic. However, after I got home again, we admitted we both like each other, and now we have no idea how to progress our relationship while being so physically far away. What advice do you have on this stage, and what kinds of things do you look for to evaluate compatibility at a distance? We agreed to continue talking to figure things out but are not officially dating.

TIA

hi y'all, just wanted to post here for some support. we just ended things after 2 years after a turbulent trip together this past weekend where i finally confessed i was struggling. we have a 5 year age gap, (20F, 25M) , and i felt as though we were at very different stages in life. the distance and lack of a clear plan was starting to make everything feel more painful and i was struggling often and crying frequently.

i'm so devastated that my last memory of us together is him stroking my hair while staring tearfully into my eyes, knowing that our time is ending. i hope this was the right thing to do :(

This is my second ldr and he lives 9 hours away in another state we met on fetlife(iykyk) and ive now been up to visit him twice. Plans for him to move closer to me our kids are already besties and it feels so perfect this was the weekend when i went to visit(me 38 him 37)

Me (F29) and my boyfriend (M32) finally met in person after eight months of long distance (🇵🇭–🇪🇸).

On our fourth night together, he told me he was confused because he didn’t feel the same love for me in person as he did through the screen. He said, “But I’m willing to try.”

Hearing that made me incredibly sad and disappointed. I understand that this can happen in an LDR, because sometimes the connection you build online feels different when you finally meet in real life. I didn’t want to pressure him, so I started giving him some space during the following days.

I think he noticed the distance because he started trying to get closer to me, even pulling me toward him just to hug me. But strangely, those moments also made me question my own feelings.

Do I actually love him? Do I just like him? Was it love, or was it infatuation built from eight months of longing and imagining what being together would feel like?

I’ve experienced an LDR before, and it was very different. When I met my previous partner, I felt incredibly happy and at peace. My mind became quiet. I felt calm just being beside him.

With my current boyfriend, however, I noticed that I was actually excited to go home.

We have many similarities, but also differences that sometimes cause us to clash. During the two weeks we spent together, we fought around 2–3 times. Maybe that’s normal, but it still made me question our compatibility in real life.

The last day hurt the most. I imagined our final hours would be emotional, that we would talk, hold each other, and make plans to see each other again. Instead, two hours before I went to the airport, he was mostly on his phone.

Before leaving, I asked him, “Will we meet again soon?”

He simply said, “Maybe.” 🤷

That answer has stayed in my mind ever since.

Now, one or two weeks after meeting, I still don’t know what to do. I’m even thinking about canceling my visa application to Spain, because I was planning to visit him there, and now I don’t know if there will even be a relationship to visit for.

Part of me thinks we should give it more time. Maybe two weeks isn’t enough to understand each other after eight months apart. Maybe feelings can grow once the initial awkwardness disappears.

But another part of me wonders if I’m just holding onto something because we spent eight months waiting for this moment. Maybe he’s also confused and waiting for me to be the one to end things.

I don’t want to give up too quickly, but I also don’t want to stay just because of the time we’ve already invested.

If you were in my position, would you stay and give it more time, or would you take this as a sign to let go?

I'm F(22) and my bf is M(30). We've been dating for almost a year and we've been friends for 2 years, so all these 3 years we've only been texting. Ofc we see each other through pics, but we've never called or FaceTimed.

I'm an introvert myself and I don't really talk on the phone much in real life or FaceTime, and I never asked him to do that. But what makes me think about it now is that he never asked me either.

He only asked me once when we were friends if he could call me to tell me about something, and I told him I prefer texting for now. But since we've been dating, he never brought it up again.

Plus, he never showed me his full face. He always hides the part that shows his nose and mouth. I kinda feel guilty that I didn't bring it up before because he has seen my full face.

Our connection is rlly good tho. We talk every day about everything and we don't fight all the time.

Now that you know how my relationship is going, what do you think about it? And how could I improve it?

Meeting my LDR boyfriend for the first time in a few months, and I’ve been doing pretty much everything I can to prepare especially physically.

We’ve been together for a year and 4 months, and although we’ve seen all of each other on camera countless times, I’m realizing that actually being physically together feels completely different.

I used to have acne, thankfully I’ve gotten past that, but I was left with some slightly deep acne scars. I also have a lot of freckle-looking spots across my body. I’ve been doing treatments, like lasers, skincare and basically all the things I can think of to feel better about my appearance before we meet.

I’m pretty sure we’ll eventually be intimate too, especially since I’ll be staying with him for almost two months, and honestly…that thought makes me really insecure.

He knows about my insecurities and tells me he doesn’t care about any of it. I believe him, but I still can’t get rid of the thought that he’ll actually see everything in person and notice things that he hasn’t noticed on camera. I know he loves me, but I keep thinking, what if he sees me differently once we're actually together?

I’m also a huge overthinker, so I can turn a tiny insecurity into a hundred different scenarios in my head. :(((((

I know these things probably sound insignificant, but when they’re things you’re already self-conscious about, the idea of someone you love seeing them up close, especially someone you’ve waited so long to meet is.just.terrifying.

Has anyone here experienced something similar before meeting their LDR partner for the first time?
How did you get past those insecurities once you were actually together?

And if you’re on the other side of this and there were things about their appearance that you didn’t find particularly attractive or wished were different/better, did it actually affect how you felt about them?

I’d really love to hear both sides. I think I need some perspective from people who have actually been through it. Thanks!!!

Bf.. (ex now I guess) broke up with me mid argument. Tbh I feel like he broke up with me to escape the argument and discomfort. He was also angry at the moment. He told me to “get a life” “we are done” & to “leave”

I have international tickets booked to see him and his family. Meeting his family is a big milestone for both of us. I was really looking forward to it. Anyways mid argument he told me that he never wants to hear from me and not to come over there.

I begged him and I tried to get him to take back his words but he told me not to contact him again..

He has a history of breaking up with me during arguments in the heat of the moment & we always reconcile. I’m just not sure anymore. Kind of tired of being discarded like this during arguments.

It’s been 2 days now. Obv I am giving him space. I still can’t process this nor accept him. It just sucks.

We submitted our Outland application earlier this year.
And the waiting has been worse than we anticipated. It’s the not knowing that has been so hard.

Will he be home for Christmas? I think there is a reasonable chance of that, but I don’t know.

Will he be home by spring? We have a large acreage and have so many plans for it, but I don’t know if he will be here to help me get our gardens ready.

Every future appointment or date, I always think, “will he be home for this?”

He can’t come here until sponsorship is approved (we know he won’t be approved for a visitor visa because his ties to Canada are much stronger than his ties to his home country), so it’s just a whole lot of waiting and hoping.

Anyone else waiting and hoping for their spousal sponsorship?

hi everyone im f19 and my bf is m19 hes from india and im from america. weve had issues for the past 2 years with trying to meet because of my father. hes the type of guy/father where its his way or no way and hes very controlling. he doesnt want me to go meet my bf and i mean yes its understandable hes worried but its been two years and i will be 20 soon. we plan to meet in bail next year, we bought the tickets and everything and im planning on going without informing my dad. i've already told him and asked him months ago and in result he gave me an ultimatum of either i go and lose him as a father or i stay and he continues with the responsibilities of being my father. so ever since then i no longer let him take any financial responsibility for me and am choosing a path of independence to prove im capable because i know i am. he thinks im going to get kidnapped or trafficked and i understand his worries as my parent but also you have to let your now adult children go do their own thing and make decisions on their own without their parent forcing them not to. but i feel like its my life and i can make whatever decision i want to make but obviously the fact im going without saying a word to anyone is a bit petrifying because i dont know what my life will be like when i get back from the trip. i love my boyfriend so much weve known each other since we were 15 and i trust him with my whole heart we always are spending time together on the phone, hes my best friend and i know if i dont go to see him i will regret it for the rest of my life. my dads kind of prejudice and treats me like a little girl who cant make decisions. i know what i want it just obviously is very anxiety inducing and causes confusion for me because i know when i come back from the trip i wont know what my life will be like or how crazy it will be like because i went to an entirely different continent without telling a soul, but if i dont i will regret never meeting the man i love so so so dearly and truly feel like i want to spend my life with.

Hi as the title suggests I need some support for my ldr from Aus to the Uk. My boyfriend and I have been doing this for about 2ish years now, we initially met in Aus where we did medium distance (about 6H drive) and then international LDR from August 24-Jan 25 (as friends kinda, not official)

He moved back to Aus last year and we began dating. When his visa ended in March of this year he moved back to the uk and we begun long distance again. Luckily I went and visited for 4 weeks in June/july, and now I’m back and the next time I’ll see him will be January.

I am just struggling with how far apart we are, we call usually twice a day (my mornings and his evenings and then my evenings his morning) but I miss the physical aspect of him so much. I get so jealous seeing couples do normal things like going grocery shopping as I wish I could do that with him.

We don’t have an end date as we are both quite young (21 and 22) and still have hurdles before being able to live together in the same place. Has anyone done distance this far and had success stories? It’s hard when you work so so well and he’s my person but I feel like the distance creates issues because we miss eachother.

Any support would be appreciated ❤️

Being long distance this makes it a million times worse! Would appreciate any advice 🙏

I guess I'll start my story by tell you a bit about myself. I (35m) am talking to someone(32f) that I met on a game. I've been in an ldr before. Crazy enough it happened in the same game. It's not that I'm seeking for a relationship in the game or anything. I just randomly meet them and we click. In my previous relationship I did make an attempt to visit. That relationship ended so badly that I basically lost interest in relationships. Prior to that ldr though i was in a 9 year long relationship. I also think some of the best and deepest relationships are builts on frienship.

Now for the current person I am taking to. I don't like to label people but she's what you would call a dismissive avoidant. I'll touch up on that as I continue my story. So I initially met her through a friend that invited her to the clan. I viewed her as another clanmate and just talked to her casually. After about a month or so, we started doing group content together, usually in a trio. I did talk to her in dm after a while but I kept it pretty casual. Just making conversation, I would ask things like if she was into superheroes because she asked me about m y pfp, which is a superhero icon. After another month of talking to her, conversations became more daily. I started to realized that I actually really enjoy her company. We were really flirty at times and started sharing personal things. I think about this point was when we were dropping subtle hints that there was interest. We were sharing a lot of music and she kind of communicates through music in a sense. So I thought it'd be cute to make a subtle confession through lyrics. We basically got confirmation from both sides. Things were just nice and enjoyable during this time.

But as time went on and I guess feelings got stronger. She started to have the hot and cold cycles. Because of my past ldr where my partner gave me the cold shoulder every argument, I cared a lot about communication. But in this case, every time I tried, I felt like i was pressuring her and causing her to pull away harder. At first this was happeneing very other week, and she felt that she was bad for me. She also said that because of what she went through with her ex. She no longer believes in love or relationships and it's something you experience once in life. I tried to tell her that I'm also not seeking a relationship but I do enjoy what we have. I just enjoyed the conversations we have and the time we spend with each other. We agreed on taking things slow and just see what comes of it. I think this as always been my approach with her and probably still is.

A lot of time when feelings are brought up, she would try to change the subject or ignore it all together. I think this frustrates me a lot because I don't ever know how she feels. There was a time I didn't know where I stood in all of this. And this caused a lot of doubt and I was close to ending things. Ending things as in becoming platonic and the dynamic between us changes. We agreed to always be friends.

After another month or so, we had another one of these "deep talks". I think for someone like her these are the worst things to do. We ended talking about how things were between us. She had this fear that things would get too personal. She started talking about maybe taking a step back or maybe be platonic. I told her that platonic isnt really want i wanted between us because they way i prioritized my time would be different. I felt like that was a reasonable response. She asked for something inbetween. I tried to explain that it didn't seem like a logical possibility because a relationship was either platonic or intimate. She felt like it was a ultimatum and as days/weeks went on she started to become distant again. At this point I became tired of chasing, it is something I told myself due to my past. I had to respect myself and not chase. I gave her some space and things were still hot and cold. Though I would say less frequent than it was before.

This was the state of how things were for several months up until the past month. She got busy with work and had to travel for a week. The weekend prior , I suggested a few things so that we could stay connected. She didn't really like using her phone so we ended up with no agreed plans or ways to connect. I was texting her for the first day or 2, but i felt really disconnected so I just gave up. We didn't talk for several days and she eventually texted me about 4-5 days later. I basically had something typed out stating the boundarieis and what was seeking from us. She said that she didn't want to end things between us and wanted to continue but didn't know what to do. I basically said if she could be me 75% then I'd still be willing to continue. I just missed the warmth and intimacy she gave me so consistently at the start :/ the following week I thought things were ok. Though I did feel like we weren't actively making time for each other. An example of that is how much time we actually spend watching things together. a total of 1h 30 min for the week. We used to cover double that nearly every night. Towards the end of the week work had ask her to travel again.

Over the weekend it felt a bit weird to me. Saturday, we spoke a bit during the day but she was just doing things with her clan. She went out for a movie that night and went she got home she messaged me while I was playing another game. She started making statements about my slow response because I tend to be pretty quick with my response. "wow must be really into the game" I took about 30 mins to respond. after an hr or so I got off the game. This was around midnight. I decided to just chill and do random things before bed. Around 2am rolls by, I messaged her that I was tired and going to bed. She responded with a sad face and said she wish we could raid together. I ended up asking why she didn't ask me earlier? she said that i was doing something else. i told her that i've been off that game for 2 hrs. She responded with a sad face, which i left it at that and went to sleep. She texted me an hr later with "night" which woke me and I replied with "night". Usually we're a lot more warm when it comes to good morning and good nights. at times even talking for another 30 mins before sleeping. hearts emoji and all. But lately its been morning. night. no warmth no hearts. I did address all of this earlier in the week. She said she felt there was a shift in things when i brought up the "ultimatum". sorry if im bouncing around a bit lol. Sunday came around and she sent me a "morning" in which i responded with "mornin". We didn't talk for the rest of the day. around 10pm texted her saying
"good night. Have a lovely week. Hopefully it won't be too busy"
Her: going to bed?
me: yea just feeling a bit tired. wasn't really enjoying much today
she ended up talking about the game again so I didn't respond and went to sleep.

So monday comes around and she went on her work trip. I don't know if it's because how the weekend conversation went, she didn't text me at all. I decided it's best that I take a step back too and not put too much thought into it. The last work week she was on I didn't hear much from her either. So I just thought that's how she operates when away. Thursday I received a text from her saying she was thinking of me. She saw something that made her think of me but didnt know why. I said i've been thinking of her that day too and hoped her work week been going smoothly. She hearted my comment and we left the conversation there until sunday was when she went back home. She texted me that morning, and i ended up talking to her that night. She was going through some things on the game and I was trying my best to comfort her but I was also getting frustrated with how she was vaguely communicating with me. Eventually I hopped in a call and we had a small argument. She said something along the line of closing the book before finishing the chapter. I took that as wanting to end things with me. I asked for some clarification which took a while. "the chapter of our life that we are currently experiencing" "you're too kind and sweet and amazing and you deserve better than me" i still felt like she was trying to end things. I ended up asking for more details in which she said "i know your feelings are valid about us. what keeps us in contact and similarities and everything after it, unless we just deep doing other things but idk. I dont want to just be online for everything, other things being games or whatever." So i asked her what you mean online only? "idk how to explain it, like we'll never actually meet and see or feel each other irl" i ended up saying that my approach has always been the same that i was open to it and it was up to her. "up to me, always ugh, you always do this" with that response i felt like i was pressuring her. I tried to reassured her by saying that I'm still patient with the approach and i wasnt trying to pressure her. we ended up moving on from this and she was getting ready for bed.

after she got in bed she started apologizing for the day and i was telling her it wasnt her fault. we continued talking about the game and She random drops an I <3 u. This is the first time she has said it and i was taken aback. She rarely shows this kind of emotions. Even before I would tell her things like "i adore you" and she wouldn't even respond to that. sometimes just calling me silly or cute. So at this point I was a bit conflicted and still am. I accept here feelings ofcourse. I just don't know where this is coming from. I tried asking her and she just says "i dont know" i didnt try to push it any further than that. I'm afraid doing so would just cause her to withdraw again. I having a hard time because leading up to this point the hot and cold has made me nearly ditch the relationship. I'm also afraid that this is just part of the cycle but its burning hot right now. I've learned to deal with the cold moments. I guess only time will tell where this goes. I care for her a lot. And yes during emotional times I have contemplated ending things but I never went through with it. Do I love her? idk, I feel love is a very strong word/emotion. To hear it from her was even more surprising because of her being adamant about "i don't believe in love/relationships anymore" A couple of days have passed at this point and things seem to have gotten a bit quiet again. She still shows signs of affection and care such as asking about my hydration because I'm really bad at it. But this morning we exchanged about 5 message and it went quiet until 6pm or so. I tend to try to find things to do to fill in the space. I honestly feel a bit less commited than I used maybe because I just feel like effort from her side. But at the same time maybe I understand why the distance is there. Especially with her now telling me she loves me and it means a lot to me. Maybe it's just giving me hope again? IDK its weird because I was never looking for a relationship in the first place. So what am I really working towards? And why am I trying so hard for?

If you've gotten to this point I appreciate you listening through my entire rant. i know type a lot of non sense for forgive me <3 I wish you all the best in life and have a lovely day.

feel free to ask me anything ill try to respond the best i can. If you got any advice that would be appreciated too. I just needed to get it off my chest.