My husband & I came into the relationship with baggage - me a 3yo son, him a 4 year old husky & 2 cats. We moved together when my son was 4, married a year later. My husband doesn’t have any small children in his family so his exposure is limited. Naturally, so is his dog’s… which was clear to me when sudden movement by my son made her visibly anxious.

A month after we got married, I was working in my office while my freshly 5 year old was playing on the floor. The dog was sleeping nearby & was making strange noises in her sleep. My curious, animal loving son went to check on her & next thing I knew I hear a blood curdling scream and blood is everywhere. She bit him on the mouth out of sleep startle. He had to get stitches & we had him evaluated with a plastic surgeon to be safe. He has a permanent scar on his lip.

It was an emotional time for us & we explored options but ultimately decided to keep her with the understanding she’d undergo rigorous behavioral training & we’d keep them separated. Husband was a wreck & I had no idea what to do, I just knew I’d never see this dog the same. My son begged to keep her around too. Well.. months later I had to remind him to sign her up. Muzzles were ordered but never used. We kept them separated but the more I learned about dogs, the more I realized she has some serious behavior problems for her age. She can’t be left alone even in a room or she’ll either destroy something or pee/poop. We’ve had to get an expensive kennel because she breaks out of the traditional ones. Even with the maximum security kennels she is covered in her own drool from trying to get out, & barks the entire time. She jumps on people that come over & once calm she’s at it again. She essentially knows no boundaries.

Fast forward to today & we have a 2 month old. Pregnancy & postpartum made my tolerance for her 0. The mental load of managing the hair, drool, chasing the cats (she got hurt pretty bad from one of them defending themselves), watching what she’s getting into, and constantly being aware of where she is is so much right now. It’s only going to be worse when he starts crawling and walking. Husband isn’t aware of this because he’s never been around babies/toddlers. He got to skip all that when he came into our lives!

I know rehoming is a controversial topic, but I do regret prioritizing his feelings at a time it made the most sense to rehome. Now I feel like someone else is going to get hurt & it’s going to be my fault because I wasn’t honest. I feel like my baby won’t get to pull himself up on furniture, toddle around, drop Cheerios, squeal, fall over, and generally behave like a baby without us constantly calculating where this dog is and I don’t think husband grasps the severity of that.

My son is six and he’s been a YouTube obsessed kid for probably a year or so. Mostly gamers (Minecraft and Mario type stuff), but he’s gotten into some weird stuff and his behavior has been bratty and impatient and too much like his most watched YouTubers.

Anyway, mostly just looking for reassurance from those of you who have cold turkeyed YouTube also.

Ladies. I just need to vent somewhere and get this off my chest. And maybe have someone tell me they’ve been through it too and everything turned out fine.

My 3 year old was running around the house today, as kids do, and then slipped and smashed her face into the hard base board of the couch, followed by the most gut wrenching cry I’ve heard and lots of blood. One front tooth immediately fell out and the other one was hanging very loose.

Long story short, dentist says loose tooth is definitely coming out too and they recommend putting her under general anaesthesia and doing a cast for dentures since it’s still another 3-4 years before the adult teeth come out.

This is going to affect her eating, her speech…hubby is concerned about her getting ridiculed and teased in school about the dentures (she’s still home with me). Nevermind the trauma of probably holding her down to get the IV needle in for anaesthesia. And we’re both just so heartbroken over this. She doesn’t deserve this. No kid does.

Tell me it’s all going to be okay?!

My daughter, an 8 year old girl, was using the bathroom going number 2 at her grandma's house. Her 10 year old male cousin walked in on her (apparently the lock doesn't work) and he laughed and called their other male cousin (8) over. She got up to close the door and they fought her trying to keep it open. Grandma's was outside with the other 2 kids.

I arrived not long after it happened. She was still in the bathroom. I heard her crying but thought she was upset I brought her baby sister over (different issue).

Finally she came out and asked to go straight home so we did (we live a couple houses down the road).

She then told me what happened. I had noticed at her grandma's she smelled like poop. And sure enough there was poop over the waistband of her jeans and all over her legs and butt.

When her dad got home I told him what happened and he said it's not as a big of deal as I'm making it. His brother's friends did that to him as a kid. I pointed out that they were all boys, this was a girl against two boys, and he said I was weird for bringing gender into this because 10 year olds don't view gender like we do.

ETA this is my husbands family. His mother, and his 2 brothers' sons.

That’s the post.

Like seriously though, kiddo is 4. She’s barely done half a year of classes and I’ve already paid the dance school more than a thousand dollars for class fees, uniforms, class materials, etc etc etc. PLUS the recital she’ll perform in happening in a few weeks. That cost money too of course.

The teachers are wonderful and I’ve seen snippets of the classes with the older girls so it does seem like a very welcoming environment (a lot more than the ballet classes I attended when I was her age and eventually left because the older girls kept making fun of my size). But MAN. Dance is expensiveeeeeeee!!

Anyway, kiddo really loves it and she just flourishes so much when she’s in class doing her thing. So I’ll keep smiling through the glass at her and sobbing behind her back as I open my wallet. Again. Lolll

Remember that haze after giving birth? How scatterbrained you might have felt for weeks or months after?

I thought that had gone away now that my toddler is 18 months old and I decided to go back to work a few weeks back. I thought enough time had passed.

Every day since going back, I feel like a bumbling idiot instead. I feel like I’m less intelligent, less socially capable, my executive functioning skills are worse, my short term memory is garbage and I can’t seem to get myself organized. And all that stuff is really important since I am a teacher and I’m just failing at it all, at least compared to how I used to be.

Did any of you experience this when going back to work? Did it get any better?

How many kids do you want/ have and where do you live? (Like city or rural, what state if the U.S)

I’m just curious if it’s true that people in cities tend to have 1-2 kids versus in rural areas people tend to have 3+

For those of you who have experienced gender disappointment, how were you realistically able to get over it? I feel so, so guilty for feeling the way I do, but I physically feel heartbroken. I feel like I’m mourning something I never had and that’s really troublesome to me.

I was obviously wanting a girl this time around. I wasn’t letting myself even fall to the idea that it could be because I just knew it would be a boy and I didn’t want to be in the position I’m currently in.
My husband got exactly what he wanted, again, and I’m trying to just be happy with a healthy baby. And I’m very happy that we’re blessed with another baby, but we agreed this was our last one. We had one more shot. I feel like such an a-hole for feeling this way. But I can’t stop my tears when I think of the experiences I’ve been so excited about since I was young, knowing I’ll never have them.

3 boys will be fun. Exhausting, but fun. I know I need to look at the positives. But I just feel lost right now. Sorry for the dramatics - I know I’m not the only one to go through this by any means.
My oldest son wanted a baby sister so bad. I’m really not looking forward to telling him he’s going to have another baby brother 😅😂 he might take it harder than me!

Edit: I also had a miscarriage (too early to tell gender) when my second son was 6 months old. I will always wonder if that was “my girl” or not. So I’m just in my head a little extra about it.

I work 4 days a week in the office. I am about a year post partum, have been back in the office for 5 months, and I'm running into the problem where I have a lot of downtime in the office, and the old things that used to get me through the day before baby (reading, scrolling, watching tv, reselling) aren't doing it. I think of all the things I could be doing at home, but I'm stuck here.

I usually do my grocery shopping online while at work and make to-do lists for when I get home, but is there anything else I could be doing that would help with home life?

Yes, I realize how privileged this sounds. I am getting paid to just be a body in a space, but I am starting to spiral a bit. I have been using PTO for days I really know will be slow, but I would rather find things to do at work that will help me feel productive.

To sum up what has happened today…

We had a slow morning with both my 2yo and my 4mo. The baby actually slept in today, I got my toddler breakfast. We all got ready to go to the library for story time, everything was great.

Not even 5 minutes at the library and we have a medical emergency, my toddler split her eyebrow on a table corner. Call 911 and my husband because I cannot juggle both the toddler who is TERRIFIED of doctors and the 4mo. It’s 9:30am.

Go to the hospital. 1cm gash. Deep. Needs stitches. 4mo is being an absolute trooper, but there’s one problem. I only packed 1 bottle for her and I don’t have a breast pump. She doesn’t nurse. The hospital has ready to feed formula but she REFUSED to eat it. Oh well you won’t starve.

So note to self, always pack 2 bottles of milk and have a hand pump. Kids are fine, I’m fine, husband is fine. We got McDonald’s after 🥲

So today after I picked my twins up from their dad not even 5 mins later he sends this self righteous text about the messiness of my car. It’s not that bad for starters. I’ve had worse. But I literally cart around twin toddlers who sometimes throw their food on the ground and there’s been a heat advisory so cleaning it out isn’t my top priority.

Anyways he’s all like “don’t you care about their long term health?” After mentioning all the things wrong with my car on the inside. We went back and forth for a while and he just straight up said “clean your car” like dude who are you to think you can tell me what to do anymore anyways? I’ll get to it when I get to it. They can’t get anything on the floor for they are in car seats. Idk what the issue is. It’s not a health hazard. He just nitpicks everything I do now. He recently called DCS on me claiming I’m “too impaired” to take care of the boys. Everything he does is perfect apparently and everything I do is wrong. 🤷‍♀️

Im staying at my brothers place with my baby for 2 weeks and they have a 4year old and a 10month old. I have a 6month old. Ive been enjoying maternity leave as my baby is very chilled, peaceful and just a joy to be around. Now im not saying that it is or always will always be 'easy' with her but she is the cutest baby and laughs a lot and barely cries

Ofcourse i love my brothers kids but they are so loud.. the younger one screams sooo loud and high pitched multiple times an hour (my eardrums are ruined for life), the older one whines and complains all the time and you have to constantly tell her 'no'

Im honestly scared of ever having another baby as my brother and his wife seem so tired and exhausted all the time, im not sure they are actually enjoying life right now.

How do you mummas with more than 1 kid do it? Are you happy and enjoy your kids? Do you have fun or are you just dying inside? Ive always wanted 2 kids but oh my lord im so done after less than a week

Mainly just a rant, but every time I manage to get a really solid workout routine going and stay consistent in the gym for a few weeks, I end up getting sick and have to take a week off! I have a toddler ( 1.5 year old) who consistently goes to Sunday school, and I swear we're fighting a cold at least every 2 months, if not more often. 😅 Anyone else experience this? Is it normal to get sick this often with a toddler? I assume it is, but maybe I need to get better about taking vitamins.

My daughter is approaching her 4th birthday in a couple of weeks, and she still favours her father. Since she was somewhere between 18 months and 2 years old, she has had a parental preference for him. I did the googling, the research here on Reddit, and most of the time “it’s a phase, it’ll pass.” Well, here we are years later, and it’s still going strong. It’s not only annoying (today she went crazy because the man went for a gd shower), but it really hurts me. I KNOW I’m not supposed to take it personal, and I know it isn’t personal (supposedly). But damn I’d be lying if i said it doesn’t hurt. She wants him for EVERYTHING - right down to going to the bathroom (for help wiping #2) and brushing her teeth. She wants to sit by him, not me. She excludes me from things, like “me, Baba, and [baby sister].” It honestly makes me feel like shit and like I should just disappear because I’m not wanted here anyway.

I had a pretty crappy medical thing happen last week. Sinus infection + a neglected tooth = a massive facial abscess that resulted in an emergency tooth extraction and the feeling of someone draining a mass of infection out of my face through a hole in my jaw (0/10 Do Not Recommend).

My daughter is 2 and some change. We're best friends. The surgery happened while she was at daycare on Thursday and an emergency at her Dad's work meant I had to limp out of the house with a swollen face to pick her up.

She didn't notice anything wrong at first, but on the way home in the car she kept staring at me in the mirror. Eventually, she touched her own cheek and said "Mama Bobo?"

I explained to her in toddler terms that Mama had a bobo in her mouth and it was going to get better now, that I had gone to the doctor and was fixed. She thought about that, nodded sweetly, and said "Otay Mama".

We get home, get into our comfy clothes and get ready to play for a bit before we make dinner and she turns to me with her hand on her right cheek (same as my swollen one) "Ouch!", she cried.

I asked her what was wrong and she confidently tells me "Baby fall down outside!" while rubbing her cheek. I opened my arms for her and she fell dramatically into them while I kissed her cheek and asked if she was okay.

"Yeah mama. Otay. Baby see doctor. Otay."

And I cannot get over it. She told me a story. She remembered what I told her and she made her own little story out of it. She's never done anything like that before and I am already so obsessed with her that it feels like my heart is going to explode.

We had matching bandaids on our cheeks by the time Dad got home.

We just started my 4yo daughter in a new preschool. We were happy at her old school but my employer sponsors a center and so we switched.

I’m concerned how they handle naps and not sure if I’m overreacting. They have a 2 hr nap period and the children are expected to lie on their mats the entire time whether they sleep or not. My daughter hasn’t napped in months. I asked if she could do some quiet activity and the teacher told me they couldn’t. I raised it with the director and she told me they could do puzzles or draw as long as they stayed on the mat. But when I followed up with the teacher about those specific activities, she reiterated that no activities were allowed and she could have a second stuffie but that’s it. Her old school didn’t do it this way. They had a short quiet time but kids could do quiet activities if they didn’t nap.

This seems excessive to me. I’d be bored if I was lying around for 2 hrs. I would be fine if the rest time was shorter, or if she was allowed to do some quiet activities while other kids napped. But it’s 2 hrs of lying around with nothing to do.

I also don’t like how the director and teacher are communicating different things. The director actually told me the teacher must have been confused when I asked about nap time and doing quiet activities and she said that wasn’t allowed, because their policy is to allow quiet activities. It felt like she was blowing me off and makes me lack trust in the facility. I tried really hard to approach the question from a place of curiosity and not seem critical.

What do you all think? Am I overly concerned about this or would it bother you?

I hear all the time that motherhood damaged their body, saggy boobs, back aches, head aches, pelvic floor dysfunction.

After all of this, what helped you get better? Hydration? Physical therapy? Anything?

Our son is 1.5. His doctor never performed any type of blood panel except a prick on his finger to check lead and something else (I don’t remember what it was). All I know is that it was standard practice at that visit. But my friend who has a 1 year old said her pediatrician performed a CBC blood panel as part of a routine check up. I want to switch pediatricians because I’m not a huge fan of ours but just wondering if we’re missing stuff?

I never thought I’d consider this, but hear me out. I have a 2.5 year old, and the last few vacations with her were anything but relaxing. She would often wake up at 5am because she’s not sleeping at home, plus a lot more whining. It’s true when they say it’s parenting in a different place; I feel more relaxed when I work and she’s at daycare than traveling with the her, tbh. Plus, there’s many things we can’t do with her - like dinner and drinks at a later time, going on a hike, etc. I’m also pregnant again (and exhausted!) so I’m considering this even more.

So, has anyone here ever hired a nanny or babysittter abroad? How did this work out for you, and how did you find them? I’m thinking something like 4h a day, that the nanny/babysitter either spends fully with all of us, so she’s basically just another set of hands, and/or 4h of her keeping our toddler busy while my husband and I do something for ourselves (hike, sightseeing, massage, sleep etc).

I don’t know what this would look like in real life because can I even trust someone that I just met? Will I just constantly worry? Or will my toddler be absolutely unhappy with another person there? Please share your experiences. Thanks!

I write this as I lay defeated on the couch while my toddler climbs on me like a jungle gym. I have an almost 2 year old and I’m currently 8 months pregnant. We’re going on 6+ weeks of my toddler being sick. No one in the house has slept in what feels like forever. Her cough has gotten worse and now she has diarrhea, so I took her back to the pediatrician today. She’s terrified of shots and taking her to the doctor is a nightmare now. I put her in a “restraint hug” just so the doctor can quickly examine her. She’s flailing, screaming, kicking, and crying while the pediatrician is trying to listen to her lungs and look in her ears. Her doctor said she has a new virus and her ears are still infected from the last virus. The antibiotics didn’t work, despite the torture it was to get her to take them. We are prescribed stronger antibiotics to treat the ears, which will give her more diarrhea. Which will likely worsen the diaper rash she already has. Lovely.

She finally calms down and I waddle her to the car. It’s raining and, of course, our umbrella is MIA. She starts crying again. We start to drive home and its now l down-pouring. The car is yelling at me to get gas. I’m not going to make it home, so I need to stop somewhere. My toddler is screaming because she wants to take off her shoes, I’m trying to calm her down, my unborn child is kicking me the sh*t out of me internally, it’s pouring out, and I can barely see the road. To say I’m overstimulated is an understatement. I pull into the gas station and scraped the hell out of the side of my car on one of those concrete pole barriers. Great! I have an audience of people at the pumps watching this happen. I waddle out to see the damage. Not terrible, but definitely not pretty. I’m pumping gas and simultaneously trying to feed my overtired screaming toddler cheddar bunnies so she will relax. The screaming kid probably didn’t help the onlooker situation. I don’t even care, I just power through so we can get home for nap.

We make it home in one piece, I look in the back, and she’s asleep. Not good. I waddle up to the house with her. It’s still raining and I’m trying to cover her with my sweater. I change her, get her settled, give her some milk and put her down for a nap. She’s exhausted and she only slept for maybe 5 minutes in the car. Surely she’ll take an actual nap. NOPE! She’s wide awake and bouncing around her crib. I give it some time before giving up. Nap time is definitely not happening.

So here I am- waving the white flag and fighting to stay awake until my husband gets home. She’s climbing on me like a jungle gym, watching Ms. Rachel, and littering my living room rug with crushed cheddar bunnies. We’re definitely ordering pizza tonight.

Send thoughts and prayers 🫠

I have 4 kids, 5, 4, 3, 18 months. I work from home full time (because everyone always lectures me about working and parenting….yes-my boss knows my kids are home, no- they don’t care lol) I work 8-10 hour days and it feels like working 2 full time jobs simultaneously. I also do school drop off and pick up for both my son and 3 of my nieces because they live in our neighborhood and go to the same school. My husband has to be at work at 5am so I wake up at 5, get myself ready, pack lunches, snack, make breakfast, wake up all 4 of my kids, dress them/ help them get dressed, shoes on, breakfast fed, teeth brushed and out the door by 7 to pick up the girls and head to school by 7:20. By the time I get home, I have 20 minutes to finish situating my kids that aren’t in school and ensuring that they are content before I clock in at 8. My lunch hour is spent picking the kids up from school so I usually just eat at my desk and by the time I’m off work at 5 I have to cook dinner, referee while they eat, do baths and spend maybe 30 (if I’m lucky) of quality time with my kids before it’s the bedtime routine. I’m exhausted by the end of the day and usually only have an hour to relax and watch tv before I’m falling asleep myself (kids still wake up and try to sneak in our room through the night too because of nightmares and just because so I’m waking up several times a night too)

Here’s my question. Do any other moms wait until their kids go to bed and just order food and relax and watch tv? The past few months my husband and I have either been eating our food later or just ordering instead so we can relax for that hour and eat in peace watching tv. I was talking to a couple friends and my cousin yesterday and casually mentioned what we were going to watch while we ate and they asked “wait, you don’t eat with your kids, you just sit with them while they eat?” Full judgment. Granted, 2 of them don’t have kids and one only has 1 and the other 2 but they are older. Am I a bad mom for waiting until my kids go to bed to eat dinner and just sitting with them feeding/ refereeing while they eat? We used to eat as a family but with 4 kids so little, our food would end up cold and the kids would always be done before us and it was chaos, this way we can focus on making sure they eat, talk to them, ask them about their day while my husband is helping them and I’m feeding our youngest/ preventing them from making a mess. Anyone else?

I think I hate my husband. And I fucking hate that I feel this way.

I want to be a good team. I want to appreciate his efforts. I want to see him as a wonderful father. But I don't. I see glimpses that give me hope. But overall, we fight about stupid useless things *constantly*.

I'm constantly having to double check that he put the diaper on correctly, or that he's giving our one year old age appropriate foods (why do I have to keep saying no raw apple or cucumber or a whole ass pickle??!), or that he put the harness on correctly in the car seat, or that he packed what's required for a daily outing. Then 9/10 times I have to fix the diaper, fish a chunk of raw apple out of baby's mouth, tighten &/or untwist the carseat harness, repack the bag with weather appropriate clothing and enough diapers and etc etc. And his phone OH MY GOD THE PHONE for fucks sake. It seems like every day I have to tell him to put his phone down and watch the baby, then I hear the baby crying and turn around to see husband on his goddamn phone. Like hello???? Your baby is crying and reaching for you and you're too busy to notice. What the actual fuck. He also can't seem to spend time with our little one without headphones in - listening to a podcast or audiobook. The lack of ability to be present is pissing me off.

The thing is, we've been together for almost half our lives. We had an almost 15 year relationship before having a kid, and it was an amazing relationship. I genuinely thought we'd be great together as parents. We've been talking about it for years - the kind of parents we wanted to be, the parenting styles we like/don't like, what our family would be like. And like I said before, I see glimpses of this version of him, but I need more of this. I feel like I have 2 toddlers sometimes.

Anyways I just needed to rant. Please tell me if I'm in the wrong, I'd like to do what I can to make this work and to be a better parent & partner. And please share if you've been in a similar situation and what you did to make things better.

I’m 35F married with elementary aged kids. My husband and I get in an argument monthly around this time when our mortgage and other bills are due.

He looks at our account, goes through every single charge and says I’m “nickel and diming it”. He gets very emotional and upset at the numbers. I have tried to explain to him that I really don’t overspend. I feel like he is living in a different reality and I truly don’t understand how he is coming to this conclusion. We both work very entry level jobs and are low income, but also have no debts except our 2.9% mortgage and a $500 cc.

He blew up my phone with calls and texts today while I was at the dentists office with two of our kids. He wants to “review the last two weeks of spending on the account tonight, then you’ll see!” I really don’t want to fight about it, to me I am only spending for necessities. Other than this issue, we have a very understanding close relationship. I hate that we disagree on finances. How can I get him to trust me with our finances or how can I better understand where he is coming from? I feel like I’m in the twilight zone.

I do not go get coffee. I cut and color my own hair. I do not get aesthetic services. I shop at Aldi and goodwill. We do not go out to eat but maybe once a month. The frivolous spending he is referring to is:

$12 used baseball cleats for my son
$16 Walmart for tampons and hair conditioner
$10 iCloud bill
$15 Amazon purchase for batteries and paper plates
$19 chick fil a after my sons dentist appt before dropping him back off at school
$20 lunch at an offsite staff meeting
$23 supplies for my sons science project
$14 amazon purchase floss/mouthwash
$70 in retirement contributions in Acorn
$500 or so as an initial deposit into a brokerage investment acct (neither of us had any investments or retirement until I set it up this month. He says now is not the time to invest. This alone gets him very worked up because he doesn’t think we have the extra money to do this. He would rather the money sit in our checking so he can see it. While I feel like I have to do this for our future).

Pretty much ANYTHING that is not directly a bill or mortgage payment is “frivolous spending”. I’m just so tired trying to explain myself.