I caught my son making himself vomit in the bathroom in an attempt to make weight. I know that wrestlers sometimes do extreme things to make weight, but I really don’t think this is appropriate or necessary for a 14 year old who is still growing.

I’ve suggested that he move up a weight class because he’s constantly doing some sort of “cut” to stay at his current weight. He’s adamant that he can’t or won’t move up, although I’m not entirely sure why.

I also feel partly responsible because I make him eat the same family dinner as everyone else. He has expressed that he doesn’t want to eat it, or sometimes wants to make something else for himself, but I refuse because my wife works really hard to cook meals for the family.

I suggested that he try another sport, but he isn’t cooperating and really doesn’t want to quit wrestling. My wife thinks we should let him continue because he genuinely enjoys it and has a lot of friends there.

Would I be out of line for pulling him from wrestling and not allowing him to compete? Or is there a better way to handle this while allowing him to stay involved in the sport?

I (25M) have been dating my GF (25F) for about 3 months now and the entire relationship has been online (despite only living 30 mins apart from each other) after we met in a mutual friend's discord server. We talked on the phone and discord and have exchanged pictures but have never video called or met in person as this was her preference. That didn't matter to me as we got along pretty well and I had fun conversations with her.

We decided to meet last weekend finally and as I was surprised to say the least. In our conversations, she had described herself as 5'10 and curvy, mind you I was not expecting a model or anything but was going based off the pictures she had sent. Needless to say, there was a massive difference between what I had believed and reality.

She looked closer to 5'6 and to me looked around 230ish pounds, this was just from appearance. I probably wasn't good at hiding my shocked reaction as she had immediately said "sorry, I lied about my height and may have used some filters in some photos".

I think that "some" is an understatement.

Despite being caught off guard, I had taken her out as I promised and we ate, talked and walked as much as she could around the park. We also has plans to go bowling but she was already exhausted from the walk and didn't want to do something "as physically demanding as bowling" now. So, I took her home as she didn't have a car and after I dropped her off, I was thinking of breaking things off with her.

She was nice as a person but I am struggling with the fact that she had lied to me and I feel like our lifestyles are way too different. I go to the gym and do some physical activities from time to time and she had told me in our early days that she is and has been an avid gym goer for years and often described herself as a real life "wonder woman".

Physical attraction and lifestyle are very important to me and I don't think we'd be compatible in that department. I am now seriously considering ending the relationship but I am at a loss as to what to say so I don't wreck her self esteem. I also don't think it is fair to stay with someone for a few more months to see if I'll eventually get attracted to them.

What would be the kindest way to end things?

Hey everyone, hope you’re having a good day so far. Really sorry for the long read but i could really use some outside opinions cause i really don’t know how to feel, my situation is as follows.

I’ve been with this girl for about a year, give or take. To be honest I don’t remember exactly how we started. It was kind of a friends to lovers thing so to my memory it just kind of happened out of nowhere to an extent.

Apparently, the moment she realized we were “in a relationship” was during an early argument we had right after we first started talking a lot. I mentioned the phrase “breaking up,” which confused her and made her think to herself, “how can he break up with me if we were never even together?” But she never said that out loud,l because according to her she was scared to lose me and that we were in too deep. That’s the backstory.

Fast forward to today. We had a little argument about something pretty trivial nothing serious and we talked it out, then we started talking about how we love each other and how silly arguments like this shouldn’t come between us. Apparently that conversation made her feel extreme guilt, and that’s when she confessed.

She told me that for the past year, since we started “dating,” she never really considered us a relationship, because it happened out of nowhere and she felt like she never actually has a say to to it and in a sense forced.

I don’t really buy that, honestly. All she had to do was correct me. I get how it could’ve started as a misunderstanding on my part, but it never got corrected. She just let it go on. And it wasn’t until today that she confessed she always felt single this whole time. That was heartbreaking, because we were a couple by every measure. I called her my girlfriend, she called me her boyfriend, we talked every day, called every day, we’re completely exclusive to eachother, told each other we loved each other, got jealous over each other, and even talked about our future together. She told me her friends know we’re dating.

That last part changed today. When I started asking questions after her confession to properly understand what was going on, I asked about her two best friends. I asked what they think. She came clean and said they know she loves me and I love her but they think I’m in a relationship and she’s not. That really hurt, the idea that even her best friends see it as me dating her and not us dating each other.

While I was trying to understand all of this, at one point she kind of flipped it back on me. She asked why I thought we were together in the first place, why I took it that way. That stung because it felt like she was putting it on me for believing what she herself let happen for a year.

During her initial confession she told me this apparently isn’t the first time and that this same thing happened with three other guys before me, guys who thought they were in a relationship with her when according to her she wasn’t. So now I’m sitting here wondering if this is just something that happens to her, or something she does.

Another thing that hurt was when I asked her what she’d say if a random person asked if she was single. She said she wouldn’t know what to tell them. I can appreciate the honestly but fuck how does one even begin to process that.

We talked for a while. I was distraught, but I think I kept my composure decently considering everything. I was just trying to understand what was going on. She kept apologizing, saying she shouldn’t have done it, but I don’t know what an apology does at this point when I’ve spent almost a year of my life on something that feels for the most part fake now.

She says the love wasn’t fake, that she really does love me more than anybody, but she just didn’t feel like she was in a relationship because of how things started. She said if instead of bringing up “breaking up” back then, I had directly asked her if she wanted to be in a relationship, she would’ve said no, which to her means this whole time we weren’t actually together, she said it wasn’t just me but if anybody no matter how much she loved directly asked her for a relationship she would’ve said no.

Now i feel like she’s trying to say anything to make it right. Things along the line of “We can be in a relationship if that’s what it takes, that’s what I want.” I can’t help but think if you want to be in a relationship now, why couldn’t you just consider that we already were? Why did you have to tell me all of this? Why now, all of a sudden, I really don’t know what to make of any of this.

I would really appreciate any advice🙏

I’ve always been a lonely person. I’m a 33-year-old virgin, and the last time I talked to someone was in 2020, and that was only because I paid her to see me, but she stopped seeing me after she met her boyfriend. I work from home, and I go months at a time without leaving my house. I’ve had zero friends since I left high school.

And I’m at my limit. I don’t think a normal human mind could withstand the level of isolation I’ve been living through. I’ve only endured it for this long because I believed in God and thought that eventually He would hear me, but I’m tired. There are criminals and the worst kind of people, yet they have the kind of life I’ve always been envious of.

God never listened to me, and I don’t want to keep living like this for many more years. I don't know what to do anymore.

He joined the military about six months ago now, he hasn't given her a single cent since he enlisted. He gives her the runaround "they can't get your account number right" as to why she isn't receiving funds. They also have a kid. The car was recently repossessed as well because she has no money and he wouldn't pay it.

My aunt was in the army for quite a while, I asked her about it and she straight up said that her husband is hiding something and needs to be reported, his wife won't call anybody for help.

Before he enlisted one day while she was at work he was alone with their son who was 2 at the time, a friend came over and he left the baby alone without telling anybody. The neighbor found him naked walking around the neighborhood.

Her parents are taking care of her and she's talking about having another kid with this man. Her parents also praise him for joining the military while he actively won't give their daughter money and has displayed terrible parenting choices. I feel like I'm the only sane person she talks to about her problems.

How do I talk to her about this?

Im 16, i have watched porn since I was 10. It was soft porn at first, you know, people making out and being halv naked. But then I discovered porn and it’s been destroying me. I have been watching porn everyday and I genuinely need to lock tf in. For the people that were ex porn addicts, how did you stop? And what tips do y’all have?

Edit: to clarify I’m not a degenerate who can’t socialize with people. I socialize pretty good and have friends. I want to stop my porn addiction to better myself and I know it will destroy me when I’m an adult. Just to clarify lol

I (26F) was happily married to my husband (32M) until he admitted that he had drained our savings because of gambling and taken out hundreds of thousands of loans to gamble.

I gave him another chance last year because we were newly married, and I genuinely believed he could change. But this year, it happened again.

I helped him seek professional help and supported him through his treatment and medication. I’ve been trying so hard to help him rebuild his mental health and overcome his gambling addiction. But somewhere along the way, I realized that I was the one slowly falling apart.

I’ve been suffering mentally and financially. The trust I was already trying to rebuild after what happened last year was broken again.

What hurts even more is that he sees all of this as just another “challenge” in marriage. I understand that marriage isn’t always easy, and I know difficult seasons are part of life. But I don’t know if I’m supposed to keep sacrificing myself financially and emotionally because my husband keeps making choices that put us in debt.

I feel manipulated and financially abused. I work hard, but instead of being able to enjoy the money I earn or save for our future, I feel like I’m working just to help pay for debts that I didn’t create.

I don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling this way.

I love my husband. I really do. That’s what makes this so difficult.

But I love him, and I don’t want this life.

I want to feel like I’m actually benefiting from my own salary. I want to see the results of my sacrifices. I want to be able to save without constantly being afraid that everything we’ve built will disappear again. I want to feel financially safe with my own husband.

I’ve tried talking to him about how exhausted I am mentally. But when I opened up to him before, he said, “I’m afraid that you’ll say that I’m the reason you’re tired.”

That made me stop myself from saying what I really felt because I was afraid he would think I was blaming him for my exhaustion, or that I was being a bad wife for feeling this way.

So I just said, “I’m just tired.”

But the truth is, I am tired because of everything that has happened.

I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to abandon him while he’s struggling. I know addiction is a serious problem, and I know he needs support.

But I’m starting to realize that supporting him doesn’t have to mean destroying myself in the process.

I don’t know how much of myself I’m supposed to sacrifice before there’s nothing left of me.

How do I tell my husband how I really feel without making him feel like I’m abandoning him or that I don’t love him?

I love him. I just don’t want to keep living like this.

TL;DR: My husband’s gambling addiction has left us in serious debt, and despite supporting his recovery, I’m mentally and financially exhausted. I love him, but I can’t keep sacrificing myself for his choices. How do I tell him this without making him feel abandoned?

Hey everyone, I'm in a really bad spot right now and could use some advice.

I'm 16 and in 10th grade. Lately, things have gotten completely out of hand in my class. Everybody has turned against me because a guy who is a bit louder and better at manipulating the social dynamic started spreading rumors that I'm weak, and everyone bought it. They kicked me off the volleyball team and tug-of-war team.

Now, they are constantly stealing my things—my lunch, water bottle, pens, pencils, and even my blazer. It's gotten to the point where they literally threw my bag off the third floor and it landed on the road. When I reported it to the teacher, they just handed it back, but the harassment hasn't stopped.

There are no lockers at my school, and the local school authorities/teachers are completely brushing it off and not responding properly.

I actually train in MMA, so I know how to fight, but I haven't physically confronted them because I know it will just get me suspended or make things worse since the whole class would back up the other guy's narrative. But I feel completely trapped, my belongings keep getting destroyed, and it's ruining my mental health and ability to focus on my studies.

What can I actually do when the school administration doesn't care, everyone in the class hates me, and my property is getting destroyed? How do I handle this safely?

I just want to preface this with the fact that I am pro sex and pro porn, and I think my boyfriend is entitled to his own personal sexual experience separate from me and have fantasies.

I (40f) looked at my boyfriend's (36m) Instagram follows out of curiosity, knowing he looks at women there. I generally knew he was into the e-girl cosplay thing but I was kinda freaked out to see that some of women looked really young like they could pass for 15/16 no problem, and the e-girl/cosplay thing often is rather young in aesthetic.

I'm torn because I'm very sex positive and also look at porn and normally my partners looking at porn doesn't bother me, in fact I will watch it with them. But also I get a huge ick and a bad feeling from how young several of these girls looked.

I did ask him about it, I think I reacted more because our sex life is in a lull and we used to sext almost every day. But are coming up on two years hanging out, so that makes sense we would be having different dynamics at this point. For his part, he was calm and said he's still very attracted to me and he just hasn't been feeling as sexual.

But despite my best efforts to try to see this in a reasonable light, I feel really sad and can't feel but compare this body that has lived all these years and made a baby and survived depression and worse to these gorgeous little things. And the fact that some look like teenagers is unnerving but I don't want to overreact.

He just made a big deal about his he's not like other men early on, and now I'm not really sure what he meant. I guess I hoped it meant he viewed young girls, like the ones he's lusting after look like, as daughter figures who need to be protected and mentored and not as potential sex objects. But I guess it's on me I fell for that line one last time. But maybe I'm overreacting.

Should I consider this a red flag?

I (30 yo female) have been with my wife for almost 7 years, and married coming up to 3 years on the 15th. She went to a bach trip with her friends over the weekend.. got drunk and slept with a man.
She obviously felt guilty enough to tell me the next day about it when she got home. We haven’t really spoke much in 2 days but I think it’s time to talk.. I don’t deserve this and I know it. I’ve never once given her any reason to cheat. My loyalty is my best quality. Even though I’m absolutely heartbroken, I won’t even tell anybody to vent about it because I don’t want to ruin her image. I love my wife and I cannot imagine my life without her.. I dont know what to do or what to say without discrediting what she did. I want her to be held accountable and put in the work to fix this.. but I’m not sure she even will. Any advice on what to do/say?

Hello! I (27F) am currently in a state of shock, anxiety, confusion, and panic because I tested positive for Chlamydia after a recent visit to the OBGYN when I got swabbed for a suspected Bacterial Vaginosis infection. I have been in a committed relationship for the last two years and have not been with anyone else in the entire time him (27M) and I have been together. We just bought a house together and he is the light of my life and I would never imagine even stepping out on him for even a second. He got a urine test done and tested negative.

I am freaking out and so confused because I tested in May of 2024 right before I met him in June 2024 and was negative on that test, but did sleep with two other people between that test and meeting him so I could’ve caught it 2 years ago and had no symptoms this entire time, but I would imagine he would also have caught it from me during the 2 years we’ve been together. I haven’t been tested again in the last two years we’ve been together because I didn’t think I needed too because I’ve been in a committed relationship with the man I love for the last two years. Neither of us have had any symptoms. He’s told me I’ve always tasted a bit off but we originally suspected that was due to chronic BV which I have. I never suspected this in a million years and never have even been with another man or woman in the last two years I’ve been with him.

He is my best friend and my favorite person in the whole world. I would never cheat on anyone and especially would never risk the future him and I are building together by sleeping with someone else. I quite literally spend everyday with him and we’ve practically lived together since around 4-5 months into our relationship and I’ve lived with him fully for the last year and a half. But now he thinks I might’ve cheated on him despite him telling me he knows I would never do that but he says the tests don’t lie and he feels it is proof enough. And trust me I know how it would look to him and anyone else who heard this story, but I swear to god I’ve not been with anyone else and I don’t know how else to prove to him that I haven’t.

I’m asking for sincere advice and help on what to do from here because I might loose the love of my life now over something I didn’t even do and that would destroy me. I’m asking for anything. I’ve been breaking down everyday for the last three days since I found out he was negative because I was so sure he’d be positive too.

To add he’s well aware I could’ve gotten it before we met and so he said he wasn’t really going to suspect me of cheating if he tested positive too, it’s just now that he tested negative he is very concerned and suspicious, which I don’t hold against him, I just don’t know how to prove to someone you didn’t cheat on them since there’s not really evidence of that you can put together. I’ve told him he can go through my phone anytime he likes and he’s always had my location and access to my phone whenever he’s wanted. We only go out together. The only times I’m not with him are when I’m at work or at dinner with friends but we’re with each other 24/7 most of the time so I just don’t know how else to explain to him that it’s not something I’ve ever done.

Back in the day I wrote letters regularly. A cousin and myself living in different states wrote multiple times each month. I used to send greeting cards too.."just because."

Flash ahead to current times. I live alone with cats-- don't judge-- and have *too* much time on my hands. A variety of disabilities prevents me from going out and doing lots of things; I spend many boring hours wanting to do something--*anything!*

I saw a Facebook reel this morn of an incarcerated female: she was lonely, imprisoned and pregnant! She said all prisoners anxiously await the daily mail, & she sometimes cries if she doesn't receive anything.

My point is, I have the time & compassion to reach out to a stranger as others have reached out to me in hard times.

I'm a mature adult and I would definitely keep strong boundaries and not encourage anything too personal.

I like to help people & I need something to do. I'd value others' opinions if this is a good idea --or not.

Thanks so much!

My daughter is 15 and will be getting her license soon and my husband was car shopping with her. He always deals with car shopping in general but he only would consider a few due to safety ratings.

My husband makes significantly more the me (3x, 300+k a year) and when we talked finances he said he would buy her the car. They were shopping on Autotrader and there was a very nice car she really wanted and it was over budget. He told her “get your mom to pay 2 thousand and you can get a job and pay me 2 thousand over a year”.

So of course she’s up my ass all day trying to get money, and is going to hate the car she does get “because mom wouldn’t give me 2k”.

I confronted my husband about it as this was just dropped on me without any discussion and it’s way too nice a car for a 16 year old. Insurance would be insane, it takes premium gas, and it would be our nicest vehicle. He basically said it was a good deal and it’d last her through college. I told him it makes me look like an asshole and we should have discussed it. He acknowledged that and said he should have talked to me first, but “if I’m dropping 35k everyone can have some skin in the game”.

Our other kid got a 20k car. I said how is that even fair and he said “he got the car he wanted, he doesn’t care”.

I’m so annoyed because I look like the bad guy. He already said he should have talked to me first so if I bring it up he’s just going to act like I’m bringing up old stuff but our kid is still going to remember. How do I deal with home making me the no fun parent?

Tldr my husband made me responsible for our kids disappointment.

So I [21M] got a text this morning from my girlfriend [23F] where she told me that when she went downstairs she saw that her elderly cat had peed in the middle of the floor and the cats pee was full of blood. So I told her "hey you need to take him to the vet today" because in my perspective blood in the urine is never a good sign for their health. And the response I got was "my family cant afford to take them to the vet" which made me pretty upset to here because the cat clearly is going through something.

So we go back and forth and im honestly getting really upset by this because even though I havent been in the cats life for as long as hes been in my girlfriends I still love that cat a lot. So eventually I tell my girlfriend that "I dont know what to say because I am struggling to find the words that wont potentially hurt your feelings". Part of the reason I said this is because 2 months ago her dog was laying outside for too long in the sun and he got heatstroke and literally everyone in her family dropped everything and rushed him to the vet to make sure her dog was okay which he was. So apart of me is angry that they will do that for their dog but not for their cat which not to be comparative because I wouldve gone to the vet for both but blood in the pee is way worse then heatstroke where he just had to drink some water after (she told me thats what the vet told her).

Anyways she then tells me in a long paragraph that she feels judged and doesnt feel like its fair that I have a say in her cats health as I dont have a pet myself so I dont have to pay the vet bills and dont understand her familys financial situation. And granted I dont know all the details but that really bugged me because as 5 years ago I had to put down my elderly dog who was going blind and growing up I grew up very poor as my mom was a single mother who had me at 18 yet when it came to our dog we always helped him when we could.

So that part bugged me and I was going to reply but I decided not to and I chose to respond to her saying shes gonna take a shower with me saying "enjoy your shower". That was the last I heard from her today and that was 8 hours ago with nothing which in our relationship is something that never happens really we always try to keep each other updated.

So reddit I come asking advice, in my heart I feel like I am right in my reaction because I wouldnt want my pet to suffer but I do also understand her side with it being a lifelong pet that is clearly doing unwell so its understandable that she would be upset. If I could get any advice on how to mend this that would be greatly appreciated, thank you.

Exactly what the title says. I need advice if I (23F, turning 24 this month) need to move out. Long story short, my family is very traditional and my brother basically aired out the fact that I went on a trip with my boyfriend. My mom basically whore shamed me because I told her exclusively that I had sex with my current bf and all my previous relationships. My dad as soon as he heard that I went on a trip, he got out of his chair and tried to bolt at me all charged up.

I’m just scared of moving out because I don’t have any other place to stay except my boyfriend’s. I’m worried that they will cause a huge scene if I just said that I’m going to be living with him. I’m worried about everything and I don’t know what to do anymore.

Do I need to move out? I don’t know what to do. I don’t feel like I’m being treated like a normal human being at this point.

F/31

I’ve just returned to work as a therapist, after having brain surgery and being gone for a few months. My client list filled up within days which is not surprising given the shortage, especially for people who do trauma informed care. What surprised me was that all of my clients, save for 2 that I had before and asked to go back on my list, are men. A surprising stat but not something I thought much about since I have had plenty of male clients.

My Question: At our weekly clinic meeting, my older coworker made a comment about having a full load. Apparently, I am the only one who does and he insinuated that it’s because I’m a young woman and “not hard to look at.” That comment felt out of line on a number of levels and I said as much, but now I am wondering.

Do you choose a therapist based on gender, age or appearances? How much does it impact who you choose? I assumed it’s easier to talk to someone without a focus on their appearance. It makes me want to remove my profile picture from the site with our bios.

Hello everyone, I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about a year and a half. I graduated school last December and have been working a decent job since February as a RN. My girlfriend graduated May 2025 and she is currently applying to dental school for the second time.

We have been talking about how we would handle dental school because she currently lives with her parents and the closest dental school is over an hour away, so she does not want to stay home. I currently live with my mom and I am covering my half of all the bills around the house. We've come to two conclusions: we move out together where I would cover rent and her living expenses besides school or she lives with my mom and I and I still cover her living expenses. I've told her that I'm not comfortable with getting an apartment and covering her expenses because we would be living paycheck to paycheck. Living with my mom would alleviate some of the costs but it would still be a financial burden to cover her expenses. I barely begun my career that I have chosen to be financially stable and live the life that I want. All my financial goals of saving, investing, hobbies, vacations, etc would be on a 4 year hold just to support her. That doesn't feel fair to me. I am considering ending the relationship because I feel that our vision or the life that we want isn't aligned at the moment. I don't want to spend the next 4 years financially supporting someone else.

This isn't news to her either. I've told her time and time that I don't feel comfortable with that and I feel that she hasn't done anything to address how she plans on affording dental school or living while she's in school. I know that she is busy with her application and she is also working and taking supplemental classes, but we've been talking about this for almost a year. She still has no solid plan. It feels like her plan is to just depend on me and it doesn't sit right with me that she's had more than 4 years to make a plan and she doesn't have much to show for it.

I worked all throughout school to pay tuition, pay for my car, and anything else I needed/wanted. Now that I am done with school, I have more responsibilities around the house now that it's just my mom and I. I am very careful with my money, I budget everything out and no money is spent without intention. Where as her parents cover all of her living expenses throughout school and even now that she works full time, she keeps it for herself. Her parents are at a point where they think she should've done a shorter career but she's dead set on what she wants without seeing the financial burden of it all. She doesn't see that her parents are getting older, there's a federal cap on student loans, and that she's asking a lot of me to support her for 4 years.

I worked hard for my degree and I want to be able to enjoy financial stability. We aren't even engaged or married. She'd feel like a daughter that I didn't ask for. I want a life partner that I can start building my life with.

Any thoughts or advice is appreciated, thank you so much.

EDIT:

Thank you everyone for responding to my post. I was gonna try to respond to everyone but there's more comments than I thought. I realize that it really comes down to incompatibility. It's not fair for her to not have someone that will support her dreams, but unfortunately I am not willing to be that person at this moment. There is uncertainty in my heart about if I want to marry her and I believe that is why I'm hesitant to support her. It would be best for us to separate. Thank you all again for responding to my post. Love you all and have a good day.

i js wanna know how to do it without it being awkward, one of my homies thought I was into him and also I did a bunch of jokes abt kissing dudes as a way to cope so they might think I'm an actual pervert😭

Want a projector for movies instead of a bigger TV. Room is small, budget $400-700. Couch close to the wall. Looking at the Dangbei N3 Max, anyone tried it? Need something okay with a bit of light or just dark room only?

for context i am 21f and my ex is 35m, yes i know red flag number one. anyways i recently broke up with my ex and turns out he got back into dope a few days before we had split. not entirely sure on timeline tbh, that’s just what i noticed. he keeps texting me off different numbers and accounts. he has said many troubling things over these messages even hinting to have been drugging me and my roommate for atleast a few months. as well as accusing us of stealing shit and setting him up when NONE of the sorts had occurred. and the last straw was really him showing up at my LOCKED apartment building banging on my door because someone let him in unfortunately. i would usually rather refrain from taking legal action but it has gotten to the point i fear for my roommate and i’s safety.

okay for context, i’m 15 and i know a lot of people my age think about things like that a lot, but everything like that makes me feel weird and uncomfortable even though i know it’s normal. yesterday me and some of my friends were playing quiz games on my tv and smash or pass came on and they were all participating but i just felt so weird about it. sometimes i see videos that are weird or think weird things but i feel so ashamed and guilty about it. another thing that i feel weird about is the topic of masturbation, i know a lot of people specifically boys my age do it and i know it’s not something that’s weird and it’s probably more normal than anything but everything about it feels so wrong and so weird to me. i don’t know what to do.

hii girls,, i 20F have been talking to this guy 21M for a few months and a month into talking he tells me about his past (2 ex gfs, after the 2nd relationship ended he hooked up twice with one girl and twice again either another) he expressed regret and said he wished he had never done it and said he is serious about us and not going back to things he used to do before

I guess nowadays this is all very normal, but as a virgin myself and as someone whos never been in a serious relationship before, undeniably this got me feeling things :( why it hurts the most is because he has been good to me so far, and when im with him i am happy, but on and off the feeling comes up, the fact that hes my first everything and im his first nothing. And ofc the guilt of wondering if he still thinks about those. These feelings just hit from time to time and ohh God it hurts, and on days like this i think so so much about it and it hurts, then i feel better then it pops up again and the cycle repeats ive never been in such a painful situation like this before :(

To the girls who have been or are in this position, of being his first nothing but hes your first everything ,, does it or did it get better for you? Or does the feeling never go away 😭 cos i dont want to ruin something that could potentially be so beautiful but i also am scared that cant live with this awful feeling forever so idk what to do

I (19F) have always been like a second parent to my little sister. For some context, my mother and stepfather had my little sister when I was 6, my stepfather had been out of our lives until I was around 10. When he came back, my parents fought a lot, screaming, slamming doors, threatening to call the police, luggages pulled out and not being packed - the usual things.

My parents fighting is not something I hold onto anymore, most parents fight, it’s the position their dynamic put me in that is affecting me. Since I was about 13/14, I’ve been taking care of my sister. I taught her chores and we had a whole system I set up. My mother was the sole bread-winner, whilst my stepdad was at home abusing drugs, often being passed out and inadequate to parent my sister and I after school. My mom would be too tired to parent my sister when she’d get home, so I took that responsibility.

Over the years, I’ve basically been seen as another parent. When our own parents couldn’t get my sister to do or understand something they’d come to me and ask me to handle her.

The problem now, is that I’ve become too controlling I think. I want my sister to be innocent and enjoy her childhood without a reliance on social media. So, I’ve put her iPad and phone on assistive mode where she can only message certain people and have certain apps.

I should preface by saying I’ve put her phone in assistive mode after finding out she’s been skipping some classes and have caught her lying multiple times. She’s honestly just growing up to be quite rebellious, one time I found a vape in her bag and when confronted, she said she was hiding it for a friend. I chose to believe her and didn’t tell our mom, as that would have devastated her. Deep down, I have a feeling it was probably hers, so I’ve just been trying to keep an eye out for her.

Idk if my strictness is the reason for her acting out and if I’m being unreasonable. I’ll admit being in this position has given me so much stress and anger. Every time she does something bad, I get so angry and take it so personally. When she doesn’t listen to me, I take it as if I were actually her mother. But at this point it just feels like I am.

I can’t keep getting stressed about her 24/7, I can’t be on top of her 24/7, I would genuinely explode. But it feels like I have to, other wise no one else will. I just want her to turn out to be a decent person.

The latest problem, is that I found out she found a way to message friends I haven’t approved of on her assistive phone. I know to most it wouldnt be that serious, but these are the same friends that gave her a vape, at 13. In my opinion, I just think that a 13 year old doesn’t need full access to a phone, or that it’s relative to the childs maturity.

I wish I could just let her be and stop stressing myself out, but I literally can’t help it. I could just leave her to her own devices and let my mom do her job, but my mom doesn’t step in or intervene at all. Idk.