My fiancée and I are both 19 and currently in a long-distance relationship. Our families are involved, and we’ve been planning to eventually get married once we’re older and financially stable.
The difficult part for me is the timeline.
We haven’t really had the opportunity to spend meaningful time together in person as adults. We’re currently expecting to have our religious marriage in a couple of years, but because of university, finances, immigration/visa issues, and other family/cultural circumstances, we likely wouldn’t actually begin living together until several years after that.
Realistically, that could mean 4+ more years before we can actually live together as husband and wife.
And that’s difficult for me to wrap my head around. Even after we’re technically married, we could potentially still be living in completely different countries and maintaining a long-distance relationship. I’d obviously want to support her emotionally as her husband, but we’d still be relying heavily on phone calls and messaging, which has already started becoming exhausting for me.
I’m someone who really values physical affection and intimacy. It’s a major part of how I experience love. We’ve talked about this before, and there seem to be differences between us in terms of how much importance we place on physical intimacy. I have a relatively high sex drive, while hers seems to be much lower.
I completely respect her boundaries, and I don’t believe she owes me physical affection or intimacy. At the same time, I don’t think I should ignore my own needs either. I’m starting to wonder whether this is simply a compatibility issue rather than something that can be solved by either of us “trying harder.”
I can travel to see her, but we’re both going to be busy with university and our own lives, and there are also family and cultural expectations that may limit how much normal couple time we’d actually have during visits.
At the beginning, talking every day felt exciting because everything was new. But after a while, talking through a screen doesn’t feel like enough for me anymore. I want to experience life with my partner — go places together, spend ordinary days together, be physically affectionate, and build memories in person.
What makes me feel particularly hopeless is that there isn’t a clear endpoint. It’s not necessarily “wait a few months and then we’ll be together.” It could be years.
I still love her, and I genuinely think she’s an amazing person. That’s part of what makes this so confusing.
I’ve also noticed that some of the excitement I had at the beginning has faded. We’ve had quite a few arguments, and I don’t think our conflict-management style is particularly healthy right now. We can resolve things and become close again, but eventually another issue comes up. We’re both trying to improve how we communicate, but sometimes I worry that we’re already developing patterns that could become worse after marriage.
Another thing I’m scared about is university. Over the next few years I’ll meet new people, make friends, and potentially have women around me who I see every day. I don’t want to develop feelings for someone else, and I definitely don’t want to hurt my fiancée. But I’m scared that spending years apart while another person could be physically present in my everyday life might eventually make things more difficult.
And because our families are involved, ending the relationship wouldn’t just affect the two of us. There would be family expectations and relationships involved as well.
I feel like I’m being asked to make a lifelong commitment while I’m still very young, knowing that I may not actually get to experience normal married life with my wife for several more years.
I don’t know if I’m being impatient or unrealistic. I still want to make this work, but sometimes I feel genuinely sad and hopeless about the situation.
Am I focusing too much on the timeline, or are these legitimate compatibility concerns that I should take seriously before getting married?

if there was a guy who u are super close with and during a hang out at his house u guys started cuddling eachother by slowly holding hands, wrapping around eachother and playing with eachothers hair ears and face, which is a completely new first time experience for both of u, but the next day the guy just like kind of pulled back, took hours to reply to a casual message, what does it mean? does it mean he regretted it or what? pls help TT

i need advice on how to proceed because i do genuinely really like him and thought he felt the same way:(

I'm a student and need a job within a month of returning to Cardiff (october). What is the best way to go about this? I've never had a job and I probably sound stupid but I'm from a small town where there was maybe 2 places that hired teens so no one had a job or heard back at all. I have no choice. I need a job hopefully within 2 weeks.

- I’m 20F
-I live in a very religious country and my family is very controlling they won’t let me get a job because I’m a woman.
-I’m a student in university but living at home
-They have my location 24/7 so I can’t secretly work
- I don’t have a car, I have a driver and he even tells them where I am. Some days they tell him to just not take me where I want to go (out of the blue for no reason).

Please please please
I need to make money in literally any way possible (online) to save myself from this and leave the moment I graduate college!!!
I’ve been doing so much research but everything either feels like a scam or just completely unrealistic given I have ZERO experience in anything.

Me (19F) and my boyfriend (20M) live together in an apartment with our two cats. Today, we were both at school when I suddenly got a call from a neighbor saying that they could hear our smoke alarm going off and smell smoke coming from our apartment.

I immediately panicked and told my boyfriend that we needed to get home as quickly as possible. We don’t have a car, so we had to wait about 30 minutes for a bus while the fire and rescue service was already on their way. While we were waiting, I got another call from a different neighbor who was also smelling smoke. That’s when I realized this was actually happening and wasn’t just paranoia.

When we finally got off the bus, my boyfriend ran ahead to the apartment. We found out that, in the stress of getting ready that morning, he had accidentally bumped the stove and turned one of the burners on to the lowest setting without realizing it.
We had a plastic container with about 2 liters of cooking oil sitting on the stove. The heat melted the container, causing the oil to spill all over the stove and create a huge amount of smoke.

Thankfully, we were incredibly lucky and no actual fire had started. The fire and rescue service dealt with the situation, and there were no major damages apart from the stove needing to be replaced.

Once I got home, I was so overwhelmed that I just paced around the living room crying. I was absolutely terrified and shocked by what had happened.
Because we needed to air out the apartment, we had all the windows and the balcony door open. I had to stay near the cats and keep an eye on them so they wouldn’t accidentally escape while my boyfriend cleaned up the oil and dealt with the kitchen.

Our landlord has also been very understanding and kind about everything, which I’m really grateful for.

The problem is that now, even though everything is over and we’re safe, I’m genuinely scared to leave the apartment again. I’m scared that something will happen while we’re gone and that we’ll come home to another emergency. The apartment still smells strongly of smoke.

I’ve struggled with obsessive/anxious thoughts before, so I’m worried that this fear is going to get stuck in my head and make me afraid to leave home. My attendance at school is already not great, so I’m also scared that this will make things even worse.
I know we were extremely lucky and I’m incredibly thankful that nobody was hurt and that the apartment didn’t catch fire. I just don’t know how to process what happened and stop being so afraid of leaving home.

Has anyone experienced something similar? How did you get over the fear afterward?

TLDR: my boyfriend is liking all of my best friends pictures, specifically the revealing ones, and it is bothering me and I don’t know how or if I should bring it up to him.

Ok…. Before judging hear me out lol. So I have a history with men that’s been largely unpleasant. To say that I don’t have some issues from past relationships would be a lie, but I really do my best to not project onto my current boyfriend or cause issues out of nothing. I have dated bottom of the barrel men that have used instagram intentionally to cheat before, so I do have weird feelings that come up around social media. I am a mature adult though and don’t actually care at the end of the day what he likes nor am I looking at that, im more interested in patterns of behavior if something is repeated. Like if I saw a guy blow up some girls IG & comment on her pictures, I would assume he is trying to get her attention for one reason or another. I hate that social media is even a topic in relationships because it’s so cringe but still I think healthy to learn about your partners habits, past, and establish boundaries if something is making you feel really uncomfortable and you aren’t able to get past it on your own.

I (27f) have been with my boyfriend (28m) for a little over a year now. I trust him very much and ultimately think he is a really good person. He has ‘restored my faith in the male population’ if you will. Well, over the past few months something has been coming up that is making me… just have a huge distaste for him and it’s super irrational and I don’t know what to do about it 😭.

So for my birthday last year, he met my best friend. They got along, and that was that. I trust both of them completely and don’t think anything weird of that and encourage friendship (within reason). I don’t live near her unfortunately so he has only been around her that one time. They followed each other on IG, which I also didn’t care about at all. My friend regularly posts very risqué photos and it’s never something I’ve thought much of… of course until my boyfriend has started LIKING. ALL. OF. THEM. Like… what the fuck???

I know it shouldn’t piss me off, but it just does!! This has gone on for months now of me bottling that in, I feel like there’s no way for me to bring it up without sounding INSANE. I trust him. I trust her. I am not jealous of her. So what’s the problem??? I DONT KNOW. All I know is it causes a knot in my stomach and a visceral reaction every time I see it. And if I was doing something to anyone in the world whether that was making someone feel that way, I would want to know!! And it doesn’t feel good to just scroll on ig, see him like another picture again, and then literally feel like I don’t even want to hangout with him anymore!! Like it’s not healthy!

I don’t think he’s intentionally doing it, I think it’s totally mindless… which idk makes it … worse in a way?? I don’t know. If roles were reversed and he had a male friend that I followed and liked all of his shirtless pics… wouldn’t he find that off putting?? I guess I can’t speak to his feelings but I would think so after a long time of doing it?

He also BRINGS up her posts to me sometimes. Like “wow she is so cool” and I go and see HE LIKED IT. It feels like publicly and in my face telling me he finds her attractive. I’m so fucking sick of it. The last thing I want is to talk with him about it and for him to get from that chat that “he’s not allowed to like her pictures.” Because that’s not it at all. I don’t want him to scroll and go to like her pictures and just think “oh I can’t like this anymore because my crazy girlfriend will be mad at me” 🙄. Like I want him to just… not do it? 😭 and the solution isn’t to have my friend remove him either I think that would also be weird. SHE has even brought up to me “ya he likes all my pics it’s kinda weird.” Like every girl friend I know thinks it’s weird!! I don’t get men!

Do I bring this up to him? How do I bring it up? Is it worth having this discussion? I like shudder to even think about bringing it up with him. He’s literally great and doesn’t do 99 horrible other behaviors that men from past experience have done around me, but this ONE is driving me insane and he doesn’t even know it.

For context, we met through our friend group. He was actually pretty close with my best friend before we started dating, while I barely talked to him because I was shy and had a crush on him. Once he realized I liked him, he pursued me pretty intensely, and we became official about a month later. 

At first, everything was great and we all hung out together. Then my friend told me something he had privately confessed to her: apparently, he didn’t think I was a good kisser and had asked her for advice on how to bring it up to me. She specifically asked me not to tell him she told me, but I was embarrassed and upset, especially since I don’t have much experience . I ultimately stayed with him, but I did tell him that things like that needed to be communicated directly to me rather than through her. After that, I gradually noticed that he became increasingly annoyed with my friend. It got worse after she rejected one of his close friends and started dating someone else in our friend group.

There was also an incident where we were all drinking. Her boyfriend mentioned that sometimes he missed certain things about being single, and my boyfriend laughed and agreed that there were things single guys could do. My friend overheard it and told me, and I confronted him about it afterward. We eventually moved past it. But over time, he basically stopped wanting to interact with my friend. She even noticed that when they used to study together or she'd talk to him about relationship problems, he seemed increasingly irritated or uninterested.

What bothers me most is that he also seems annoyed whenever I spend time with her, and sometimes with my other girlfriends. He has even accused me of having a thing for his friends or for my best friend’s boyfriend. I've told him that his behavior toward my friend makes me wonder if he had feelings for her at some point. If anything, he seems to dislike her even more after I brought it up. He also knows she's been dating around and is sexually open, and he's made comments/jokes about her being a “hoe,” which really bothers me.

I genuinely don't know what to make of all of this. Part of me wonders if his hostility toward her is because he had feelings for her and something happened that I'm unaware of. Another part of me wonders if he simply dislikes her for other reasons.

I am starting to wonder if this mean I needs to end this relationship? 

Today when I was driving this dude got mad at me and called me names which I don’t know what I did to him but overall all I did was keep my windows up and asked him what I did. He just cursed me out and ended up driving away, I have no idea who he is but I wasn’t trying to make him madder. People are crazy and he could have had a weapon so why make the situation worse. I tell my dad and he said I need to stand up for myself and not be a pussy and let people talk to me crazy. I am not a pussy, I’ve fought someone before and I’ve cursed out/ confronted people for disrespecting me but this time I just let him get his big feelings out because why do I give a fuck about what some random man thinks of me. Am I a pussy for not confronting him?

Ik this is probably a really dumb question but, my girlfriend and I (both virgins) tried having sex twice and I wasn’t able to put my penis in. We did around 40 minutes of foreplay each time and she was very wet and said she felt ready for me. I’m certain I wasn’t “missing the hole” and my penis was just pushing up against it and not actually going in. She said she felt a bit of pressure and stretching so maybe a tiny bit of my penis went in? During foreplay, I fingered her and she said it was good and not uncomfortable at all. We added a bit of lube after trying for awhile but it made hardly any difference.

Any advice? All suggestions welcome

Hi guys, please help me about this. I'm a preteen and i have been on pinterest a lot. im still technically on my 3 month break and school is starting in 1 week. So there's a whisper community in Pinterest. write "#whisper" and you'll see what it is. And i have been a member for a long time during this break. I made mutuals, and ever since i met them, for no reason i started to feel stressed. I got hate from people older than me and only one mutual knew my real age (me being a preteen). And i got massive hate 2 weeks ago. It hurt my feelings because im just a preteen. Now im on break and i told everyone i was going on break but now i feel fomo and everything is just a huge mess. School stress is eating me because my best friend left the country. Now im left with hate, loneliness and fomo. What should i do to fix everything? I wannaa focus on my studies and not on Pinterest. For no reason, i know im being petty when i say this but sometimes i want my mutuals to feel bad for me and i just get an urge to quit, but then next day comes and i wanna make whispers again. Please help.

We were friends back in middle school and I had a crush on her. I went to a different high school than her so I completely for got about her until a year ago when she popped up on my IG feed. I recognized her instantly, I'd randomly check her page every couple months when she crossed my mind. One day I realized she haven't posted In a while, I thought nothing of it. Then one day I go to Facebook and find out she died in March and I'm just now finding out in May.

I was shocked, I started crying and I don't know why. I shouldn't be crying over a middle school crush that probably didn't remember me, I tried justifying it well she was a friend but this was 12-13 years ago. I shouldn't be crying about someone who I completely forgot about until a year ago.

Now I've been thinking about her a lot lately, when I'm walking outside I think damn she probably would think this is a beautiful day. When someone bring up something from a few years ago, I think damn she was alive then. I saw a post talking about something happened in 2016 and I think damn she didn't know she was going to be dead 10 years later.

I also started having dreams if her, nothing sexual but like last night I had a dream and I saw her there she just looked at me and I looked at her. I kept walking then realized who she was I looked back she was gone I was running everywhere looking for her and couldn't find her. Then in the dream I was upset because at that point I realized was dreaming because in the dream I was thinking she's dead. I had 4-5 dreams about her since I find out she died and maybe one of them I was talking to her but at that point I didn't know in real life she was dead yet. Since then now all my dreams I just see her then she's gone.

I feel so weird about this, I think about her at least twice a day. I shouldn't I'm obsessed about this girl and I don't know why. I try to stay busy and not think about her but I didn't think I went a whole day since I found out she died without thinking about her at least once.

I genuinely want it to stop, I think having a crush on her plays a huge part but that was over a decade ago. I tried force myself to forget about her by saying things like she probably didn't like you like that. She's straight and I'm a gay woman so it wouldn't of never worked anyway. I don't have fantasies about her I see her in my dream and think about how she should be here right now.

I feel horrible and just want it to go away.

What should I do? Will this eventually go away?

I hate living in America honestly, it’s very consumer based and I hate the suburban sprawl, and when I turn 18 I want to move away to a new country, preferably Iceland, and start a new life, I just want a good place, a steady job anywhere, I want to explore the country, I would probably plan ahead by getting a bunch of money saved up from a job, learning the language, and most of all just embracing the feeling of being free, all my life I’ve moved around because my family was in the military, and I’ve never really felt like I had a state or place where I grew up, I was just everywhere, never settled for longer than 4 years, and to be honest I just want somewhere to settle down and live my life, I know it’s selfish, because I have family here in America and it’s wrong to leave them, but I feel like I need a change and my whole life I’ve just been waiting for it to happen.

i have known this girl for 7 years now and we are both 22, so the thing is she loves me so much but she is emotionally sensitive and she cries because of the small things about us and maybe one of the reason is because i am trying to be distant and i am trying to make her go live her life and the reason i am doing that is because i am not where i wanna be in life and i maynot be able to give her what she wants in life and i know the way i said it may sound like i am a bad person but i love her so much but confused at the same time

Ok so I turned 17 last month and in my life I've never had a gf. It's not that I have low self-esteem, I see myself as an attractive person and in fact many girls have hit on me, but I've never had the courage to speak to them mainly for two reasons

the first is that I find some girls so above my league that I can't take them seriously, as I said I don't find myself ugly, but I think they're too out of my league that I feel like I'm misinterpreting their signs. It happened to me last year and then I discovered she actually liked me.

the second is that I always think I could ruin things, maybe saying some bs during a conversation out of anxiety or do something embarassing

All this things lead to the fear of getting rejected, not because that would crush my feelings, but because I would feel too embarassed

I'm not writing this to brag about my looks but I think like I have alot of potential, my friends always tell me to go to the disco with them because they think I would hit many girls but I'm not that type of person. I've met girls with beautiful personalities that I wanted to talk to but I didn't, I don't want to loose other opportunities because I'm too scared to get rejected

If this happened to someone, how did you deal with it? what should I do? This thing is eating me up inside

What would you tell someone going through that?

I (20NB) live with my parents until January. I am a college student who just needs a semester to get back on my feet. At college I go by a chosen name and it is put in my university system. Anything that has to do with classes, I get called that name. Only time I saw my birth name over the past year wss in emails from financial aid and my former job. My parents have no clue I go by a different name. They know I don't identify as cis and haven't for about 5 years, but they tend to ignore it. Since I'm presenting "fem" right now, they figure I was over it. I got a piece of mail from a college program I was accepted into. They used my chosen name. My mom woke me up this morning jokingly asking if I changed my name. I went "uh...no?" Then she said it was addressed to my chosen name. I told her it was a nickname I go by, even though it has nothing to do with my name. She got upset because I was "confusing" my college. I told her it's naturally separated in the system.

My parents function on this really weird line of thinking that any little thing a person does that deviates from the norm will be hyperanalyzed and judged by the public. Dyed hair, longsleeves in Summer, highlighter, pimple patches, and general queerness are just a few things I've been told will make everyone hate me and find me unattractive. When I tell them I often get compliments, they attempt to convince me they were actually mocking me.

I think for this, my mom will pretend that she never heard I go by a new name. If she tells my dad though, he will be a total asshole about it. He's the sort that relentlessly teases and gets upset if you don't respond how he wants. If I go silent when he starts to bully, he repeats it and asks if I heard him. I laugh along with it, he's happy, but I feel like shit. When I defend myself or point out that no one else thinks like this, he starts to argue that everyone secretly thinks I'm weird and are being nice to make fun of me. I predict what he's going to do is compare it to when my sister identified as nonbinary when she was 12 and related her gender and chosen name to Jeff the Killer. Even though I am literally 20 and chose my name off of a random baby boy name list. I am preparing in advance which way to react. Any advice?

I'm 18f. Parents are around or at 50 years of age. Both immigrants, mom still grew up in the states, however.

My whole life is a blur I cannot remember. My parents are strict on me and have so much paranoia and distrust in their hearts. I can understand basic rules like a curfew for a teenager or things like that... but I have never felt emotionally connected to my parents and have always feared them. I always feel like I'm doing something that they will deem as "wrong" or punishable. I worry that they will take something from me (ex. phone, car, boyfriend, money, etc) or that they would yell and berate me. I recently hung out with two of my guy friends and admittedly stayed late with them (something I was actively stressing about, I was one of the boys' rides home), all three of us were 18 + his mom and little sibling were home and engaging with us as we were in the kitchen. My dad yelled at me about them potentially wanting to assault me or gang up on me. Even my older brother, who is above drinking age and home from college, was yelled at for attempting to defend me and reason with my dad.

As young children, my dad would use his belt to punish us, and eventually he graduated to taking our things or yelling. My mom has pulled my hair before, but has often resorted to yelling at me for things. My mom does not intervene or go against my dad in punishing us, even when I get the feeling that she thinks he's going too far. She is easier to reason with, but still is essentially a brick wall.

Whenever I would go to my mom with my emotional troubles she would dismiss me or tell me that crying does nothing. She would say "stop crying, it's not that serious" or she would act like I'm irritating her by asking for emotional support. I once was crying in her car telling her I feel so insecure and different than my cousins because of XYZ. She literally did not give a single fuck.

My dad is even worse. He outright acts like my hurt is physically harming him, so he forces me to keep quiet. Or he just straight up doesn't believe me. When my doctor diagnosed me with anxiety, he used it to angrily ask if I was anxious because I "was always lying" to them.

I live in a good area, I was given a car at 16, and I attend CC that they offered to pay for. They give me money when I'm low (I have a part time job, but things are expensive in a nice city). Despite all the money and things they give me, I can't confidently say I love my parents every day. I feel like I'm going crazy because I can't come up with the reasons or stories why. It was a struggle to write this because I feel like my memory is horrible. I don't think I was ever physically abused. CPS doesn't need to be called (as if it'll do anything now anyway). I feel like I'm crazy. My friends are comfortable with their parents (discussing things like sex, relationships, life milestones, basics about their lives, etc).

Extra info is that my mom has repeatedly told me to never marry a man like my dad. They've had a rocky relationship for years. I've debriefed with my brother before and we are generally on the same page about things. I'm scared to talk to him about this though.

TLDR; I feel like my parents' strictness and emotional detachment has caused me to lose my love for them, despite my life being good and having money and things given to me from them. How can I fix this/is this fixable?

So, I’m starting my job which is 6-3 and my duo is 10 hours ahead. But because I have to wake up at 4 (take my dog out, feed my pets, get ready, eat allat) I was wanting to start to gts at 8pm (when gets home) and I know I could just change the time but also I need the sleep

I stream when I get home and stuff. But if me and him can’t play consistently or often I don’t think we will end up even keeping the friendship . I’m not sure how to make this work.

I’m 23 and have spent the last six years in university. In a way, I got lucky because school gave me an extended social life. Right up until graduation, I was surrounded by people my age with free time, energy and a constant desire to do something.
Now I’m being thrown into the working world.
I work in a mainly male industry, and the job is in a shitty little town in Alberta because that’s where the money is. And I mean ludicrous amounts of money. Making money is great, obviously, but the nostalgia for university—and even high school—is becoming unbearable.

Part of the problem is that I probably overdid it socially. In university, I was basically Mr. Popular. I’m not saying that to brag; it’s just the most honest way to explain the contrast. I had a shit tonne of friends. There were always girls around. I was constantly partying, going out or doing something. I could practically snap my fingers and find somebody to hang out with on a dime.

Now I’m in the adult world, where everyone is working and everyone is busy. I’m busy too, but what am I supposed to do when work ends?
I cannot get myself excited about this version of life:
“Oh yeah bro, I work and then I play video games.”
“I work and then I take care of my kid.”
“I work, have a few drinks, smoke some weed or watch Netflix, go to sleep and do it all over again.”
That reality feels bone-crushingly, soul-crushingly bleak to me. I just can’t do it. I genuinely cannot imagine doing that for the next 40 years.

Maybe adulthood eventually forces you to accept it. Sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me, or if I’m supposed to take some kind of prescribed medication that mellows me out enough to become content with it. I don’t mean going out and taking random drugs. I just mean that maybe most people don’t feel this restless, or maybe they eventually lose it.

What I want honestly doesn’t seem that complicated.

First, I want a real group of friends who still crave socializing after work. I don’t mean that everyone must be available every second, but I want some level of spontaneous, almost on-demand social activity. I want to be able to text, “Yo, let’s grab dinner,” “Let’s go watch a movie at buddy’s house,” or “Let’s go for a drive,” and have people who are genuinely down. Not once every three months—regularly.

Second, women and dating are part of it too, and I’m not going to pretend they aren’t. Right now, I’m not meeting the kind of women I actually connect with or want to pursue. That’s fair. I’m only starting my career, and I have plenty of time to improve myself and build the kind of life that attracts the kind of woman I’m looking for.

But in the meantime, is there really just…nobody?
I went from high school and university, where I had so many people and opportunities around me that I didn’t know what to do with them, to suddenly having basically zero.

The perfect scenario would be a place where I could have an active social life—not literally whenever I snap my fingers, but frequently enough that I’m constantly doing things—and also have some kind of intimacy or female companionship in my life. That could mean a girlfriend, dating multiple people or even just having a close female best friend. It doesn’t necessarily have to involve sex or a serious relationship. I just miss having that closeness and connection.
If I had both of those things—a solid group of friends and some form of intimacy—I honestly think I’d be happy.

So the real question is: where do I go?
Kelowna
Stay in small-town Alberta and take the money
Calgary
Edmonton
Montreal
Toronto

Do I take the ludicrous money and accept that I’ll probably be lonely? Do I move somewhere bigger and sacrifice some of the money for an actual life? Which of these places gives a 23-year-old the best chance of building the kind of social life I’m talking about?
Or is the harder truth that no city can recreate university, and I need to completely change how I think about adult life?

I am a 17 year old male in high school. About 2 months and a half ago right before the last day of school, I asked this girl (16yo) for her number after I talked with her a few times beforehand, just quick conversations that would hopefully make her notice me more. When I asked for her number so we can get to know each other over summer break, she slowly said “uh, I don’t think so”. She is very sweet, a hard worker, is modest, and seems to be someone perfect for me. But that really hurt. I think it’s because she was just not interested in me and didn’t really know me personally. Fast forward until now, it was just the second day of my senior year. I didn’t notice it the first day, but on the second day I was in my Spanish class talking with my only senior friend in that class because the rest of the class were juniors. The teacher made the whole class do an activity, where we had to line up in a single file line in birthday order without talking. We did that, and out of the blue, when I went into my position, she was right next to me out of all places, and that’s when I noticed her in my class. The point is, it is extremely awkward for me and probably for her too, though I don’t know how she feels at all. My teacher has mentioned that he will make us do a lot of group projects, partner activities, presentation, and all of that. I am scared, but I don’t want to be. It’s my senior year, and I already had a huge crush on her the whole year before, and it was just taking a huge mental toll on me. I don’t want that to repeat this year. I think what I just need is to get over her and maybe even ignore her? I don’t know, I just want to do anything I can to continue my school year without it being so miserable having the mental effect of my crush I’ve gotten rejected from in my class. Also my friend discussed he wanted to drop the class, but I beg him to stay because I will feel uncomfortable and have no one to talk to in the class if he does drop.

Thanks for any help, really. It’s just one of those times for me man.

I think narcissist is a strong term but I have no idea what else to call her. Self-centered? A helicopter parent? Someone who thinks her own opinions are more important than anyone else's?

She's the kind of person who says "I think" a lot, as if anyone asked for her own opinion. And she absolutely loves to put words in my mouth when I'm not even talking to her. "Oh, you like this thing, don't you? You do, right? Me too, I love it too," stuff like that when I never even said a thing! And even when I do and disagree with her, she just goes, "No, you like it too." I can never say what I think about something without her completely ignoring me and reshaping my words into something she is more satisfied with. It sometimes feels like she's talking to herself and I'm just listening to it all go down.

I'm 18 and I went out to a nearby store on my own for the first time. It was about 5 minutes away from home, I was home alone, and wanted to get some snacks while I finished my studies. Mom comes home and sees the haul only for her to immediately start complaining without even saying hello. "Oh God, what's wrong with you? You're going to give me a heart attack, why would you go and do that?" I also cooked something for the first time yesterday and she came home with such a horrified expression on her face. She tried it (it was tomato soup lol) and it almost looked like it hurt her to compliment me. "The taste is... fine." She said without saying anything else. And not to hype myself up, but it was honestly pretty damn good, but to have my own mother not even smile at something that she keeps telling me to learn to do... It was really irritating.

One more thing: we got into an argument a month or so ago about the way I dress (tomboy) and that was the first time we both let out everything. She was bawling her eyes out, screaming about how she doesn't want people to hurt me in between her usual insults, "I liked it better when you had long hair. Your hair looks butchered and people are going to shit-talk behind your back. As your mother, you should listen to my opinions. Are you really going to not listen to your mother?", etc. I told her I couldn't care less and no matter how many times she says it, I won't change and the choices I make for my aesthetic aren't some phase (I've dressed this way for literal years). I thought this argument did something to our relationship, for the better or for the worst, but nothing. She's moved on like that argument never happened and she still acts and says the same things. I am still in awe at how that argument did absolutely nothing for her.

Advice? I'm just at a loss here. I never thought me getting older and trying to make my own decisions would mean my mother becoming even more immature than me.

Hi i recently just talked to my best friend about everything and it’s a really long story but me and her are really close but we’re growing up and separating i don’t know how to need or want myself without depending on someone? My best friend is a really ambitious woman and she’s independent she’s great but it’s just she wants me to want myself and i agree and it’s really hard to figure it out idk if im explaining this right. How do I be okay needing myself and like just learning to be alone?

buckle up mother fuckers, this is gonna be a long one. I really need help right now. So my life is a disaster, has been for a few years but i feel like i have finally hit rock bottom. I’m 24, im a CNA at a hospital, and i have a chronic illness that has been slowly turning my life into a dumpster fire. when i was 20, i started getting really nauseous no matter what i ate or didn’t eat, and i was vomiting frequently. i had almost no appetite most days, and nothing the doctors were giving me helped, nor were they able to think of anything that might be wrong. i started getting a lot of pain in my back and legs out of nowhere, and one day the pain was so bad that when i bent over to grab something off the floor, i could not straighten back up, i was half-hunched over and had to have my brother help me stand up straight and help me walk to my bedroom. got an MRI, found a bulging disc and a pinched nerve, gave me a few weeks of meds, and the pain never went away. after about 6 months of constant doctors appointments, being too sick to show up for work most days, my symptoms were getting worse and more were popping up, and absolutely zero answers. Long story short, after an additonal 9 months of agony, i was diagnosed with endometriosis via surgery.

during all this time undiagnosed, due to being so ill, i obviously was in a bit of a money hole. then i lost my job. got another job, struggled just as much with that one. i started working at the #1 hospital in the state and it was absolutely horrible. aside from struggling from an attendance standpoint, the workload and patient acuity at this hospital was HORRIBLE. a general care floor where we were able to go up to TEN LITERS of O2 and run insulin drips….GOD AWFUL ACUITY. the pay was horrible, no bonuses for cnas when we picked up a shift, but nurses got an extra FIFTY dollars/hr for a picked up shift…….at this point i was in a rough rough spot, missing a month or two on certain bills just to be able to cover other things, missed car payments and almost losing my car, and having no money to spend on something i simply just wanted, nor could i spend any money on my boyfriend and brother(my most favorite humans) it was rough. to make it all that much sweeter, my manager was terribly mean. she made it very clear about 2 months after i started that she did not want me there, tried to get me to transfer units, tried to get me to quit, told me that my chronic and unexplained symptoms “might just be from some anxiety you might have over this job.” for the record, i am quite possibly the least anxious person on the unit at all times. im incredibly laid back at work and am an absolute unit if i feel ok, i get things done fast and i do good work, my patients are incredibly comfortable with me, and im constantly helping anybody that needs it. long story short with nightmare manager - she fired me and my best friend on the same day. my best friend lost her mom in august 2024, got 3 bereavement days, used them right away, and in november, she got rid of both of us. my best friend at the time had undiagnosed pcos so she was also having lots of problems and no answers. i got fired after i missed a shift due to having to go to the er. i had texted the manager before going, and she explicitly said that even though ill be going over the allowed absences(2 in 12 weeks), that as long as i get a doctors note, no she would not fire me for this incident. wellllllll…..she did!!!!!!! a whole 5 days later!!!!!!!!

got a new job at a different hospital. wayyyyyy better job, my managers even set up an accommodation for me so that i have a few absences a month that won’t be counted on my record, therefore protecting my job. i’ve made some really good friends at this job, i’ve met some really good people and a few that have gone out of their way to be kind to me. the only downside to this job is that extra shifts and overtime are incredibly limited as it’s far smaller. i pick up shifts, and then i get a call saying im cancelled 1-2 hours before the shift starts. no pay for that either, NOTHING. when i can get overtime, it’s just never enough for me to start digging myself out of this now very deep hole. the last few months have been super hard pain/health wise, and the last month has just left my life completely falling apart

i’ve had to miss 3 car payments so that i could pay my rent, which has also been late every month recently. i also haven’t worked an overtime shift in 2 months, despite me picking up a shift 3 days a week. i’m already scheduled full time, but the paychecks from that are just not enough. 2 weeks ago my car stalled out on me at a stop sign 2 blocks from home. got it home, it’s making horrifying noises, i’m bawling my eyes out because i already knew i needed brakes done, tires done, and soon an oil change and i didn’t even know how i was gonna take care of that, much less take care of whatever the fuck just happened. sadly, as it turns out, my engine threw a rod😭💔 on my 2016 equinox with only 112,000 miles. i’m devastated, i loved my car. i’m now left with 3 options and none of them are good ones

1. fix the car: try to get a loan from the bank to take care of the repairs my car needs done. sadly this would be a good bit more expensive than the car is even worth, and the loan payments would be very high, it’d be like having a 2nd car payment(can’t even afford the first one clearly)

2. get a new car: try and get approved for a loan for a new used car, anything that is halfway decent and worth taking a risk on is at least $15k+, and then i’m locking myself in to another 5-6 years of sky high car payments, when my current loan only has about 7-8 payments left. when i first got my equinox, i hadn’t been plagued with health issues yet, so i was working insane amounts of overtime at my nursing home. paying for it was quite smooth during that time, but between nursing home ditching bonuses, and being so sick all the time, it just slowly snowballed into not being able to comfortably afford to pay for everything

3. get a new car with higher mileage that is under $9-10k: find a reasonably reliable suv with higher mileage on it to keep monthly payments lower. this option is terribly scary but at this point seems like the best one. of course it’s really hard to decide for sure what i want, as selecting a car from this category, i need to be really careful and picky about what vehicle i go with. ideally really need to stick to an SUV or something that can handle driving in wisconsin winters. i have to take very windy roads to work, and drifting around the downtown capitol streets in a fwd car just cannot happen.

I really hope some super smart person finds this and has some top-tier advice for me because i genuinely do not know what to do here. i feel like ive literally ruined my life already and i just turned 24. my family can’t help me out at all because my mom and stepdad are farmers and are already in debt with their farm, and my father and his evil wife(who have the means to help me and have told me so), but refuse to help me because, in the words of my step-monster: “well you really did this to yourself, so why do you think i’d want to spend my money on you?” my dads reply to that? NOTHING. not a word.

i just don’t know what to do. i feel hopeless, feel like nothing will ever get better, and now with my car, i just honestly feel like id be happier if i didn’t have to keep living. somebody please help, the last few weeks have sent me into the darkest place ive ever been and i don’t know if ill ever get my comedic and joyful spark back. i just wish i had never been created at this point. please tell me what the fuck i can even do here? i’m fucking exhausted and feel like just rotting in bed and ignoring every responsibility i have.

I liked this guy, Michael, for a pretty long time, but I genuinely thought I had gotten over him. I haven’t seen or talked to him in about a month, and I slowly stopped caring. I wasn’t waiting for him to text or freaking out when he didn’t, so I thought I had finally moved on.
Then tonight, right before school starts, I got two messages from him on Saturn. I barely reacted and just went back to what I was doing. But then I checked his schedule and realized he switched gym periods. He used to be in the same gym period as me, but now he’s in period 3 while I’m in period 7.
For some reason, I completely freaked out. I started texting my friends to make sure he actually switched, and when I found out he did, I got genuinely upset and eventually started crying. 😭 I haven’t talked to him in a month, so WHY did something this small affect me so much?
I know I was tired, stressed about school, and probably overthinking, but now I’m confused about whether I actually still like him or if I’m just attached to the memories and the closeness we had. I still think about him sometimes and remember all the good moments, but I genuinely don’t care if he doesn’t talk to me for days anymore.
So what does this sound like? Do I still have feelings for him, or am I just attached to the idea of him? And why would losing something as small as having the same gym period affect me this much?