I caught my son making himself vomit in the bathroom in an attempt to make weight. I know that wrestlers sometimes do extreme things to make weight, but I really don’t think this is appropriate or necessary for a 14 year old who is still growing.

I’ve suggested that he move up a weight class because he’s constantly doing some sort of “cut” to stay at his current weight. He’s adamant that he can’t or won’t move up, although I’m not entirely sure why.

I also feel partly responsible because I make him eat the same family dinner as everyone else. He has expressed that he doesn’t want to eat it, or sometimes wants to make something else for himself, but I refuse because my wife works really hard to cook meals for the family.

I suggested that he try another sport, but he isn’t cooperating and really doesn’t want to quit wrestling. My wife thinks we should let him continue because he genuinely enjoys it and has a lot of friends there.

Would I be out of line for pulling him from wrestling and not allowing him to compete? Or is there a better way to handle this while allowing him to stay involved in the sport?

I’ve always been a lonely person. I’m a 33-year-old virgin, and the last time I talked to someone was in 2020, and that was only because I paid her to see me, but she stopped seeing me after she met her boyfriend. I work from home, and I go months at a time without leaving my house. I’ve had zero friends since I left high school.

And I’m at my limit. I don’t think a normal human mind could withstand the level of isolation I’ve been living through. I’ve only endured it for this long because I believed in God and thought that eventually He would hear me, but I’m tired. There are criminals and the worst kind of people, yet they have the kind of life I’ve always been envious of.

God never listened to me, and I don’t want to keep living like this for many more years. I don't know what to do anymore.

Hey everyone, hope you’re having a good day so far. Really sorry for the long read but i could really use some outside opinions cause i really don’t know how to feel, my situation is as follows.

I’ve been with this girl for about a year, give or take. To be honest I don’t remember exactly how we started. It was kind of a friends to lovers thing so to my memory it just kind of happened out of nowhere to an extent.

Apparently, the moment she realized we were “in a relationship” was during an early argument we had right after we first started talking a lot. I mentioned the phrase “breaking up,” which confused her and made her think to herself, “how can he break up with me if we were never even together?” But she never said that out loud,l because according to her she was scared to lose me and that we were in too deep. That’s the backstory.

Fast forward to today. We had a little argument about something pretty trivial nothing serious and we talked it out, then we started talking about how we love each other and how silly arguments like this shouldn’t come between us. Apparently that conversation made her feel extreme guilt, and that’s when she confessed.

She told me that for the past year, since we started “dating,” she never really considered us a relationship, because it happened out of nowhere and she felt like she never actually has a say to to it and in a sense forced.

I don’t really buy that, honestly. All she had to do was correct me. I get how it could’ve started as a misunderstanding on my part, but it never got corrected. She just let it go on. And it wasn’t until today that she confessed she always felt single this whole time. That was heartbreaking, because we were a couple by every measure. I called her my girlfriend, she called me her boyfriend, we talked every day, called every day, we’re completely exclusive to eachother, told each other we loved each other, got jealous over each other, and even talked about our future together. She told me her friends know we’re dating.

That last part changed today. When I started asking questions after her confession to properly understand what was going on, I asked about her two best friends. I asked what they think. She came clean and said they know she loves me and I love her but they think I’m in a relationship and she’s not. That really hurt, the idea that even her best friends see it as me dating her and not us dating each other.

While I was trying to understand all of this, at one point she kind of flipped it back on me. She asked why I thought we were together in the first place, why I took it that way. That stung because it felt like she was putting it on me for believing what she herself let happen for a year.

During her initial confession she told me this apparently isn’t the first time and that this same thing happened with three other guys before me, guys who thought they were in a relationship with her when according to her she wasn’t. So now I’m sitting here wondering if this is just something that happens to her, or something she does.

Another thing that hurt was when I asked her what she’d say if a random person asked if she was single. She said she wouldn’t know what to tell them. I can appreciate the honestly but fuck how does one even begin to process that.

We talked for a while. I was distraught, but I think I kept my composure decently considering everything. I was just trying to understand what was going on. She kept apologizing, saying she shouldn’t have done it, but I don’t know what an apology does at this point when I’ve spent almost a year of my life on something that feels for the most part fake now.

She says the love wasn’t fake, that she really does love me more than anybody, but she just didn’t feel like she was in a relationship because of how things started. She said if instead of bringing up “breaking up” back then, I had directly asked her if she wanted to be in a relationship, she would’ve said no, which to her means this whole time we weren’t actually together, she said it wasn’t just me but if anybody no matter how much she loved directly asked her for a relationship she would’ve said no.

Now i feel like she’s trying to say anything to make it right. Things along the line of “We can be in a relationship if that’s what it takes, that’s what I want.” I can’t help but think if you want to be in a relationship now, why couldn’t you just consider that we already were? Why did you have to tell me all of this? Why now, all of a sudden, I really don’t know what to make of any of this.

I would really appreciate any advice🙏

A friend of mine inherited her grandma's small house and offered to rent it to me. The rent is a little below what similar places cost, so I said yes pretty quickly.

The weird part is her family apparently still sees the house as partly theirs.

Her mom has stopped by twice to grab things from the garage. Her brother asked if he could store some boxes in the spare bedroom. Last weekend my friend texted me asking if her aunt and uncle could stay there for two nights because they were visiting and hotels were expensive.

I said no to that one and she seemed kind of surprised. She basically said they still think of it as grandma's house and that nobody would bother me.

I pay rent every month and all the utilities. I don't really feel like I'm living in someone else's family house, I feel like I'm renting my home.

How do I set a boundary here without making this weird with my friend? Should I just tell her nobody comes over or stores anything here unless I specifically agree to it?

Hello! I (27F) am currently in a state of shock, anxiety, confusion, and panic because I tested positive for Chlamydia after a recent visit to the OBGYN when I got swabbed for a suspected Bacterial Vaginosis infection. I have been in a committed relationship for the last two years and have not been with anyone else in the entire time him (27M) and I have been together. We just bought a house together and he is the light of my life and I would never imagine even stepping out on him for even a second. He got a urine test done and tested negative.

I am freaking out and so confused because I tested in May of 2024 right before I met him in June 2024 and was negative on that test, but did sleep with two other people between that test and meeting him so I could’ve caught it 2 years ago and had no symptoms this entire time, but I would imagine he would also have caught it from me during the 2 years we’ve been together. I haven’t been tested again in the last two years we’ve been together because I didn’t think I needed too because I’ve been in a committed relationship with the man I love for the last two years. Neither of us have had any symptoms. He’s told me I’ve always tasted a bit off but we originally suspected that was due to chronic BV which I have. I never suspected this in a million years and never have even been with another man or woman in the last two years I’ve been with him.

He is my best friend and my favorite person in the whole world. I would never cheat on anyone and especially would never risk the future him and I are building together by sleeping with someone else. I quite literally spend everyday with him and we’ve practically lived together since around 4-5 months into our relationship and I’ve lived with him fully for the last year and a half. But now he thinks I might’ve cheated on him despite him telling me he knows I would never do that but he says the tests don’t lie and he feels it is proof enough. And trust me I know how it would look to him and anyone else who heard this story, but I swear to god I’ve not been with anyone else and I don’t know how else to prove to him that I haven’t.

I’m asking for sincere advice and help on what to do from here because I might loose the love of my life now over something I didn’t even do and that would destroy me. I’m asking for anything. I’ve been breaking down everyday for the last three days since I found out he was negative because I was so sure he’d be positive too.

To add he’s well aware I could’ve gotten it before we met and so he said he wasn’t really going to suspect me of cheating if he tested positive too, it’s just now that he tested negative he is very concerned and suspicious, which I don’t hold against him, I just don’t know how to prove to someone you didn’t cheat on them since there’s not really evidence of that you can put together. I’ve told him he can go through my phone anytime he likes and he’s always had my location and access to my phone whenever he’s wanted. We only go out together. The only times I’m not with him are when I’m at work or at dinner with friends but we’re with each other 24/7 most of the time so I just don’t know how else to explain to him that it’s not something I’ve ever done.

I (26F) was happily married to my husband (32M) until he admitted that he had drained our savings because of gambling and taken out hundreds of thousands of loans to gamble.

I gave him another chance last year because we were newly married, and I genuinely believed he could change. But this year, it happened again.

I helped him seek professional help and supported him through his treatment and medication. I’ve been trying so hard to help him rebuild his mental health and overcome his gambling addiction. But somewhere along the way, I realized that I was the one slowly falling apart.

I’ve been suffering mentally and financially. The trust I was already trying to rebuild after what happened last year was broken again.

What hurts even more is that he sees all of this as just another “challenge” in marriage. I understand that marriage isn’t always easy, and I know difficult seasons are part of life. But I don’t know if I’m supposed to keep sacrificing myself financially and emotionally because my husband keeps making choices that put us in debt.

I feel manipulated and financially abused. I work hard, but instead of being able to enjoy the money I earn or save for our future, I feel like I’m working just to help pay for debts that I didn’t create.

I don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling this way.

I love my husband. I really do. That’s what makes this so difficult.

But I love him, and I don’t want this life.

I want to feel like I’m actually benefiting from my own salary. I want to see the results of my sacrifices. I want to be able to save without constantly being afraid that everything we’ve built will disappear again. I want to feel financially safe with my own husband.

I’ve tried talking to him about how exhausted I am mentally. But when I opened up to him before, he said, “I’m afraid that you’ll say that I’m the reason you’re tired.”

That made me stop myself from saying what I really felt because I was afraid he would think I was blaming him for my exhaustion, or that I was being a bad wife for feeling this way.

So I just said, “I’m just tired.”

But the truth is, I am tired because of everything that has happened.

I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to abandon him while he’s struggling. I know addiction is a serious problem, and I know he needs support.

But I’m starting to realize that supporting him doesn’t have to mean destroying myself in the process.

I don’t know how much of myself I’m supposed to sacrifice before there’s nothing left of me.

How do I tell my husband how I really feel without making him feel like I’m abandoning him or that I don’t love him?

I love him. I just don’t want to keep living like this.

TL;DR: My husband’s gambling addiction has left us in serious debt, and despite supporting his recovery, I’m mentally and financially exhausted. I love him, but I can’t keep sacrificing myself for his choices. How do I tell him this without making him feel abandoned?

My younger sister asked if she can stay with me for a few months because things are getting bad between her and her boyfriend.

At first I assumed they were just breaking up, but apparently he doesn't actually know she's planning to leave yet. She wants to slowly move some of her stuff to my apartment, keep acting normal at home, then leave once he's at work because she thinks he'll talk her into staying if she tells him beforehand.

I told her she could stay with me. I have a spare room and I'm in a good place financially so I'm not worried about her contributing right away.

The part I'm uncomfortable with is our parents.

My sister doesn't want them knowing anything is wrong because they really like her boyfriend and she thinks they'll call him asking questions. She wants me to tell them she's staying with me because I'm going through some stuff and asked her to keep me company.

Normally I wouldn't care about telling a small lie, but our parents worry about me a lot. If I tell them I'm having some kind of personal problem they're going to start calling, visiting and asking what's wrong. My sister basically said I can just keep being vague until everything settles down.

I also found out she's already told her boyfriend she's been coming to my place more because I'm having a rough time, so I'm kind of already part of the story without agreeing to it.

I want to help her leave if that's what she wants, especially because she seems genuinely nervous about having the conversation with him. At the same time I don't like being used as the excuse with both him and our parents.

Would you just go along with this temporarily so she can get out without drama, or tell her she can stay but she needs to come up with an explanation that doesn't involve me?

For context im 21 years old and I’ve never had sex before. I don’t think im bad looking I’d say I’m slightly above average, I’ve had chances of getting a gf but I’ve been picky on getting one since I want a long term partner. I’ve always been fascinated on getting a bj though so I did something I thought I’d never do and looked for an escort. She had a really nice body and I’d say an average face. She was super nice so I lightened up and told her how it’s my first time and just want a bj. I requested a dry hump since I wanted to be hard beforehand. I thought it was gonna be good but I felt nothing. I didn’t get hard at all. So then she started blowing me (I asked if she would do no condom bj for a bit) and I still felt nothing. She performed a handjob and it started to get up with the help of lube but I wasn’t really feeling it. I apologized but she was really nice about it and we then had a talk.

I think I’ve I know my problem. It’s definitely not masturbation since I haven’t jerked off in a week. I believe I needed an emotional connection to really feel something. I’m not the type to just hook up with anybody, she was nice and all but the connection wasn’t there. I’ve also glorified getting a bj I thought it’d be a peak feeling but it’s nothing special at all like in videos.

Any advice overall? Also she did put a condom on me afterwards I know it was pretty stupid not having a condom on bj at first I just needed to know the feeling, she seemed pretty clean though.

My wife was diagnosed with glioblastoma in Jan 2025...a terminal brain cancer. We were originally told a life expectancy of 12 to 18 months... but then later told certain findings (tumor methylation) suggested chances for a better longer survival time..though never quantified officially

She is still with us as we go through month 19...although she can no longer walk without assistance...needs a wheelchair in public.. .and has severe aphasia and can barely speak..though she seems to understand spoken words decently. But I try to make the most of each day and just try to get a couple of laughs and smiles while being her full-time caretaker. While also working from home. After many many months of oral chemotherapy they made a decision that they thought it was a good time to stop it and give her body a break. So she is now 5 weeks off chemo with another MRI coming up in 3 weeks. And after numerous what they call stable MRIS, this one could be very different...with this aggressive type of cancer

Having said all that....She has always loved shows and concerts and I still tried to take her to some local ones. Journey and the Eagles are two favorite bands of all time. We have seen both separately.. I recently saw that there are two opportunities to see them both within a couple days of each other out west. We live on East coast.

So my situation is what would you do in a similar situation if you seriously don't know for sure how much time your spouse has?...

Option A... Is to fly to Phoenix in 2 weeks to see Journey... And then drive up to Vegas to see the Eagles at the sphere..3 days later....passing through Grand canyon overlook on the way. Then when we return two days later we go for our next MRI and figure out if anything bad has happened or if things are stable. The thinking being ...let's get it done now....God forbid things in the next MRI on the 22nd are not good and then we find out time is short and we can't wait till November. But ..it's also very last minute planning, more money, extra travel.

Option B ... Cross our fingers hope nothing changes for the worst and wait till the end of November.. and see journey and the Eagles back to back in Las Vegas on consecutive nights. While e this gives more time to plan and there's less travel between two cities....Obviously this all depends on her condition not changing for the worse over the next 2 and 3/4 months. It's a gamble.

So kinda rush and get it done for sure...or wait and if it's meant to be...go in November?

EDITS****. Her doctors have said they are okay with her traveling if she feels up to it. They actually suggested not rushing and waiting more for the stress of planning last minute. They noted she currently is not in a downward trajectory..so no red lights were flashing ..but also .things can change.

My wife has expressed strong interest in going..despite limited verbal skills. I also fully realize she is not looking at the full picture of the rigors of travel and just thinking..yay concert!

I also realize the right answer may ultimately be no trip at all. I sincerely do have her will being and happiness as most important factor. Thanks all.

I (30 yo female) have been with my wife for almost 7 years, and married coming up to 3 years on the 15th. She went to a bach trip with her friends over the weekend.. got drunk and slept with a man.
She obviously felt guilty enough to tell me the next day about it when she got home. We haven’t really spoke much in 2 days but I think it’s time to talk.. I don’t deserve this and I know it. I’ve never once given her any reason to cheat. My loyalty is my best quality. Even though I’m absolutely heartbroken, I won’t even tell anybody to vent about it because I don’t want to ruin her image. I love my wife and I cannot imagine my life without her.. I dont know what to do or what to say without discrediting what she did. I want her to be held accountable and put in the work to fix this.. but I’m not sure she even will. Any advice on what to do/say?

My family contacted the police a little while back when my brother didn't come home one night about a week ago, but they said that because he's 19 he counts an adult and they believe he probably just ran away even though there is absolutely no proof that he ran away. They are being very dismissive and are refusing to even look into the case.

None of my family believe he went missing. We used find my iPhone to ping his phone and we found it inside his room. His sneakers are still in our house, all of his belongings are also still in his room including his suitcase and there doesn't seem to be anything to indicate he ran away. We've tried explaining all of this to the police, but we're just being told again that he's 19 and could have left voluntarily. We talked to his friends and other family members, no one has seen him lately either.

He said that he was going to his friend's house but his friend claims that he wasn't even at home when my brother was supposedly going to visit him so he didn't see him. My brother's friend's dad has a car that we have not seen since the day he went missing. He told us that he let my brother borrow the car to go get a quick snack while he waited for his friend to get home and that my brother has the car. *edit: no, the dad did not report the car as stolen or missing

We're really at our wits' end with this and trying everything. Should we hire a private investigator or go to the police again or what?

Hey everyone, I'm in a really bad spot right now and could use some advice.

I'm 16 and in 10th grade. Lately, things have gotten completely out of hand in my class. Everybody has turned against me because a guy who is a bit louder and better at manipulating the social dynamic started spreading rumors that I'm weak, and everyone bought it. They kicked me off the volleyball team and tug-of-war team.

Now, they are constantly stealing my things—my lunch, water bottle, pens, pencils, and even my blazer. It's gotten to the point where they literally threw my bag off the third floor and it landed on the road. When I reported it to the teacher, they just handed it back, but the harassment hasn't stopped.

There are no lockers at my school, and the local school authorities/teachers are completely brushing it off and not responding properly.

I actually train in MMA, so I know how to fight, but I haven't physically confronted them because I know it will just get me suspended or make things worse since the whole class would back up the other guy's narrative. But I feel completely trapped, my belongings keep getting destroyed, and it's ruining my mental health and ability to focus on my studies.

What can I actually do when the school administration doesn't care, everyone in the class hates me, and my property is getting destroyed? How do I handle this safely?

My neighbours foster kids and a guy I know is there right now, his grandpa had custody but he had a stroke. Apparently he's been there for like a month but I had no idea cause he's not allowed outside. My brother sent me over to borrow something and I saw him and they let us talk a bit and I'm kind of scared for him but I don't know if it's normal for his situation.

He's not allowed to leave or have anyone over, so he hasn't seen any friends or his cousin the whole time and they check his phone a lot and take it away at bedtime. He's not allowed to close his bedroom door unless he's changing and if he takes too long they threaten to call 911, same if he takes to long to shower or go to the bathroom. He has a past history of suicidal thoughts so I don't know if that's what they're supposed to do. He has to write down everything he eats on a paper in the kitchen and they get upset if they feel he doesn't eat properly. He also has issues with food but I don't know what.

He told me all this real fast before they came back in the room like he didn't want them to know someone else knows. He looked really upset and like he hasn't been sleeping much, but he said he mostly just sleeps.

I don't know if any of this is normal for what his situation is and he just hates the rules or if they're being weirdos.

Edit: I don't know if it's important that I don't know him very well. He's a friends ex but my friend wasn't out yet so we met like twice cause he goes to a different school.

I asked my friend about the food things and he's diabetic and has allergies so he's always been weird about food but it's not really an eating disorder.

Edit 2: my brother got home and I told him everything. He said they're breaking a lot of rules. We called cps, I didn't think they'd take me seriously if it was just me. We had them on speakerphone and I told them all the same stuff and they asked a lot of questions about if I'd seen anything that made me think he was in immediate danger but I don't think he is. They said they would take care of the situation and thanked me for calling and if I see anything else to call back or 911 if needed.

We didn't do anonymous because the neighbours would know it was me anyways. My brother said to come get him if they get mad at me.

He joined the military about six months ago now, he hasn't given her a single cent since he enlisted. He gives her the runaround "they can't get your account number right" as to why she isn't receiving funds. They also have a kid. The car was recently repossessed as well because she has no money and he wouldn't pay it.

My aunt was in the army for quite a while, I asked her about it and she straight up said that her husband is hiding something and needs to be reported, his wife won't call anybody for help.

Before he enlisted one day while she was at work he was alone with their son who was 2 at the time, a friend came over and he left the baby alone without telling anybody. The neighbor found him naked walking around the neighborhood.

Her parents are taking care of her and she's talking about having another kid with this man. Her parents also praise him for joining the military while he actively won't give their daughter money and has displayed terrible parenting choices. I feel like I'm the only sane person she talks to about her problems.

How do I talk to her about this?

Im 16, i have watched porn since I was 10. It was soft porn at first, you know, people making out and being halv naked. But then I discovered porn and it’s been destroying me. I have been watching porn everyday and I genuinely need to lock tf in. For the people that were ex porn addicts, how did you stop? And what tips do y’all have?

Edit: to clarify I’m not a degenerate who can’t socialize with people. I socialize pretty good and have friends. I want to stop my porn addiction to better myself and I know it will destroy me when I’m an adult. Just to clarify lol

I have a family member who got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer late last year. Unfortunately, after months of chemo and radiotherapy the cancer has now advanced - they have completely stopped all treatment and she has maybe a couple of months left.

She has a 14 year old daughter and a husband. Neither my family member or husband have directly told their daughter than mummy isn’t going to get better. In fact they said they don’t want it to “ruin her childhood”. I understand this is an unbelievably difficult situation, but the rest of my family have tried reasoning that telling their daughter is the right thing to do.

It’s their only child. She’s aware her mums got cancer, is it wrong convincing my family member to tell her the extent of her illness?

I’ve (21M) been dating my girlfriend (30F) for about 4 months now. Lately, she’s been doing a few things that leave me feeling disrespected, and I’m trying to figure out if my feelings are justified or if I'm overthinking it.
The main issue is that she seems overly comfortable objectifying other men to my face:

1) The thirst traps: She is obsessed with "bulge" thirst trap videos on IG. She constantly likes them and even goes out of her way to show them to me and our shared friend group. She has liked and shared videos thirsting over ‘halal’ sausage (and I’m not part of that since I’m not Muslim). If the roles were reversed and I was sitting there liking and showing off women’s cleavage thirst traps, it would immediately be a huge issue.

2) The celebrity crotch obsession: Recently, she actively tried searching for a video of her favorite celebrity’s bulge right next to me. While looking for it, she literally said to me that the woman who ends up with him is going to be a "lucky woman."

3) Objectifying random people: Last night, we were watching a video featuring a Thai ex-PM and her partner. Out of nowhere, my girlfriend looks at the partner and says to me, "He’s got a pretty big body, he must be big downstairs." If I openly made a comment about a female politician's genitals based on her body type, especially if that’s done right to my girlfriend's face, it would be completely messed up. She has also made similar comments about a DJ she has met at a pub.

I'm really struggling with the blatant double standard here. If she’s this comfortable openly sexualizing other men right in front of me, it makes me question her boundaries and whether I can fully trust her not to cross lines when I'm not around. Is this a normal thing that women in relationships do?

Back in the day I wrote letters regularly. A cousin and myself living in different states wrote multiple times each month. I used to send greeting cards too.."just because."

Flash ahead to current times. I live alone with cats-- don't judge-- and have *too* much time on my hands. A variety of disabilities prevents me from going out and doing lots of things; I spend many boring hours wanting to do something--*anything!*

I saw a Facebook reel this morn of an incarcerated female: she was lonely, imprisoned and pregnant! She said all prisoners anxiously await the daily mail, & she sometimes cries if she doesn't receive anything.

My point is, I have the time & compassion to reach out to a stranger as others have reached out to me in hard times.

I'm a mature adult and I would definitely keep strong boundaries and not encourage anything too personal.

I like to help people & I need something to do. I'd value others' opinions if this is a good idea --or not.

Thanks so much!

I just want to preface this with the fact that I am pro sex and pro porn, and I think my boyfriend is entitled to his own personal sexual experience separate from me and have fantasies.

I (40f) looked at my boyfriend's (36m) Instagram follows out of curiosity, knowing he looks at women there. I generally knew he was into the e-girl cosplay thing but I was kinda freaked out to see that some of women looked really young like they could pass for 15/16 no problem, and the e-girl/cosplay thing often is rather young in aesthetic.

I'm torn because I'm very sex positive and also look at porn and normally my partners looking at porn doesn't bother me, in fact I will watch it with them. But also I get a huge ick and a bad feeling from how young several of these girls looked.

I did ask him about it, I think I reacted more because our sex life is in a lull and we used to sext almost every day. But are coming up on two years hanging out, so that makes sense we would be having different dynamics at this point. For his part, he was calm and said he's still very attracted to me and he just hasn't been feeling as sexual.

But despite my best efforts to try to see this in a reasonable light, I feel really sad and can't feel but compare this body that has lived all these years and made a baby and survived depression and worse to these gorgeous little things. And the fact that some look like teenagers is unnerving but I don't want to overreact.

He just made a big deal about his he's not like other men early on, and now I'm not really sure what he meant. I guess I hoped it meant he viewed young girls, like the ones he's lusting after look like, as daughter figures who need to be protected and mentored and not as potential sex objects. But I guess it's on me I fell for that line one last time. But maybe I'm overreacting.

Should I consider this a red flag?

I’m a 25M and my partner 28F and I went through a medical abortion just over a week ago. We’re both nurses, and I love her deeply. Throughout all of this, my biggest priority has been making sure she feels loved, cared for and supported while she recovers.

Physically, she’s gradually been feeling better, although her body is still recovering from everything it’s been through. Emotionally, she seems to be doing well overall and has told me she doesn’t feel guilt or regret about her decision. Recently, though, she’s mentioned that she doesn’t really like her body at the moment and that she hasn’t quite felt like herself. Hearing that is difficult because I genuinely think she’s beautiful, but I also understand that how I see her and how she feels within herself are two different things.

We recently had a really emotional but meaningful conversation about the abortion and how we had both experienced it. She had known she was pregnant for about a week before telling me. I was overseas at the time, and during that week she had seen her doctor, had an ultrasound and organised the medication. She later explained that she didn’t want to tell me while I was away because she knew I would overthink everything and she didn’t want it to affect the rest of my holiday. She was also nervous about telling me.

I told her that part of me wished I’d known sooner, not because I wanted any control over her decision, but simply because I love her and wish I could have supported her from the moment she found out. At the same time, I understand why she chose to process things in her own way first. I supported her decision completely then and I still do now. Neither of us is ready for a child, and while I would love to be a father one day, I want that to happen when we’re both ready and in a more settled place in our lives.

Something that meant a lot to me during our conversation was how much she wanted to understand my feelings too. She told me she knew I’d been having a difficult time processing everything and had been waiting until it felt like the right time for us to properly talk about it. She reassured me that I could talk to her about anything and that she would be there for me, and I told her the same. It was an emotional conversation, but I came away from it feeling closer to her and grateful that we could be vulnerable with each other.

I also told her that despite how emotional the experience had been for me, I was grateful that she trusted me enough to let me be there with her during such a vulnerable moment. There were times during the abortion when I felt helpless because I couldn’t take away her pain or what she was physically going through. All I could really do was bring her food and water, rub her back when the pain was bad, stay close and be there when she needed me. Being able to care for someone I love so deeply through something so personal meant a lot to me.

I told her that I saw it as a difficult situation that had unexpectedly come into our lives, but something we had faced and gotten through together. She told me that she didn’t necessarily think of it as a “difficult situation” in the same way I did. I think that helped me appreciate that two people can go through the same experience together while processing and understanding it quite differently. Neither of us needs the other to feel exactly the same way.

We haven’t had sex since the abortion and had already agreed together that we would wait at least two weeks, or however long she needed to recover and feel ready. Recently, when we were being affectionate, I reiterated that we weren’t having sex and that we wouldn’t do anything she wasn’t comfortable with, just so she knew I was completely on the same page. She told me she knew, but while we were kissing she said she hadn’t really been feeling like herself lately and that she didn’t want to disappoint me.

I told her she wasn’t disappointing me in any way. She’s been through a lot physically and emotionally, and there is absolutely no pressure from me. I told her that I simply love being around her and that I love her deeply. Kissing her, cuddling her and having that closeness means a lot to me without it needing to lead anywhere else.

The following morning, before I left for work, we kissed for a while and then she just held onto me with her head against my chest. I noticed her breathing seemed a little faster, almost as though she had a lot going through her mind. Eventually she looked up at me and we kissed again. I don’t know exactly what she was feeling in that moment and I don’t want to assume. Maybe she was emotional, maybe she was sad that I was leaving, or maybe she simply wanted to be close. We don’t live together and knew we wouldn’t see each other again for another couple of days.

Whatever she was feeling, I remember holding her and feeling incredibly connected to her. I didn’t want anything more from that moment. Being able to hold her, feel close to her and simply be there with the woman I love was enough for me.

I think that’s partly why it hurts when she tells me she doesn’t like her body at the moment. I genuinely think she’s beautiful and I’m incredibly attracted to her, but I understand that telling her that won’t necessarily change how she feels about herself. I don’t want to dismiss those feelings by constantly trying to convince her otherwise. I think she just needs time to recover and feel like herself again, and I want to give her that time while continuing to love and support her along the way.

I just want her to feel loved, wanted and safe with me while she takes whatever time she needs to feel comfortable in herself again. I know I can’t fix those feelings for her, so for now I’m trying to be patient, consistent and affectionate, and remind her through both my words and actions that nothing about the way I feel about her has changed.

For women who have been through an abortion, did you experience a period afterwards where you didn’t quite feel like yourself or struggled with how you felt about your body? Was there anything your partner did or said that genuinely helped you feel loved and supported? Is there anything you wish your partner had understood during those first few weeks? I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences because I want to understand what this period can feel like from her side, without assuming that her experience is necessarily the same as anyone else’s.

I recently got an amazing job offer in Chicago. The pay is about $30k more than what I make now and would be a huge step in my career in my company. If I took this job, I’d have to move.

Unfortunately, with moving comes a break up. We have been together for 4 years. He’s a great guy and successful, but I feel like we aren’t as compatible as we used to be. We rarely are intimate and we argue A LOT. I feel like we’re constantly getting under each other’s skin. But when I think about breaking up, I get sad and fear I’m going to regret that decision in the future.

I have no idea what to do and I need to decide. I’m also scared that it’s too late for me to start fresh because I’m already 27.

Any advice is appreciated.

No one showed up to my nephew’s birthday party. We spent the whole day decorating (cause we were going to meet at the house then drive to the place) it was at a Go Kart place I even put RSVP on the invitation and had ten people reserve when I last checked. We still had fun but I know it hurt him. I dropped him off to school this morning and he looked so sad it broke my heart. Does anyone have advice on how I can cheer him up?

I am diagnosed with depression and I've had it for around 7 years now. Something I struggle with is cooking for myself or actually having an appitite. It's especially bad when i'm doing worse than usual, wich is the case at the moment. I end up just not eating and my psychiatrist has warned me that I'm underweight. I want to get better and i'm trying hard to not slip further into my hole and that means eating enough. Does anyone have any tipps on how to motivate myself to cook food, or something in that direction?

I (19F) have always been like a second parent to my little sister. For some context, my mother and stepfather had my little sister when I was 6, my stepfather had been out of our lives until I was around 10. When he came back, my parents fought a lot, screaming, slamming doors, threatening to call the police, luggages pulled out and not being packed - the usual things.

My parents fighting is not something I hold onto anymore, most parents fight, it’s the position their dynamic put me in that is affecting me. Since I was about 13/14, I’ve been taking care of my sister. I taught her chores and we had a whole system I set up. My mother was the sole bread-winner, whilst my stepdad was at home abusing drugs, often being passed out and inadequate to parent my sister and I after school. My mom would be too tired to parent my sister when she’d get home, so I took that responsibility.

Over the years, I’ve basically been seen as another parent. When our own parents couldn’t get my sister to do or understand something they’d come to me and ask me to handle her.

The problem now, is that I’ve become too controlling I think. I want my sister to be innocent and enjoy her childhood without a reliance on social media. So, I’ve put her iPad and phone on assistive mode where she can only message certain people and have certain apps.

I should preface by saying I’ve put her phone in assistive mode after finding out she’s been skipping some classes and have caught her lying multiple times. She’s honestly just growing up to be quite rebellious, one time I found a vape in her bag and when confronted, she said she was hiding it for a friend. I chose to believe her and didn’t tell our mom, as that would have devastated her. Deep down, I have a feeling it was probably hers, so I’ve just been trying to keep an eye out for her.

Idk if my strictness is the reason for her acting out and if I’m being unreasonable. I’ll admit being in this position has given me so much stress and anger. Every time she does something bad, I get so angry and take it so personally. When she doesn’t listen to me, I take it as if I were actually her mother. But at this point it just feels like I am.

I can’t keep getting stressed about her 24/7, I can’t be on top of her 24/7, I would genuinely explode. But it feels like I have to, other wise no one else will. I just want her to turn out to be a decent person.

The latest problem, is that I found out she found a way to message friends I haven’t approved of on her assistive phone. I know to most it wouldnt be that serious, but these are the same friends that gave her a vape, at 13. In my opinion, I just think that a 13 year old doesn’t need full access to a phone, or that it’s relative to the childs maturity.

I wish I could just let her be and stop stressing myself out, but I literally can’t help it. I could just leave her to her own devices and let my mom do her job, but my mom doesn’t step in or intervene at all. Idk.