r/Advice • u/[deleted] • 2h ago
How do I break up with my Girlfriend after meeting her in-person
I (25M) have been dating my GF (25F) for about 3 months now and the entire relationship has been online (despite only living 30 mins apart from each other) after we met in a mutual friend's discord server. We talked on the phone and discord and have exchanged pictures but have never video called or met in person as this was her preference. That didn't matter to me as we got along pretty well and I had fun conversations with her.
We decided to meet last weekend finally and as I was surprised to say the least. In our conversations, she had described herself as 5'10 and curvy, mind you I was not expecting a model or anything but was going based off the pictures she had sent. Needless to say, there was a massive difference between what I had believed and reality.
She looked closer to 5'6 and to me looked around 230ish pounds, this was just from appearance. I probably wasn't good at hiding my shocked reaction as she had immediately said "sorry, I lied about my height and may have used some filters in some photos".
I think that "some" is an understatement.
Despite being caught off guard, I had taken her out as I promised and we ate, talked and walked as much as she could around the park. We also has plans to go bowling but she was already exhausted from the walk and didn't want to do something "as physically demanding as bowling" now. So, I took her home as she didn't have a car and after I dropped her off, I was thinking of breaking things off with her.
She was nice as a person but I am struggling with the fact that she had lied to me and I feel like our lifestyles are way too different. I go to the gym and do some physical activities from time to time and she had told me in our early days that she is and has been an avid gym goer for years and often described herself as a real life "wonder woman".
Physical attraction and lifestyle are very important to me and I don't think we'd be compatible in that department. I am now seriously considering ending the relationship but I am at a loss as to what to say so I don't wreck her self esteem. I also don't think it is fair to stay with someone for a few more months to see if I'll eventually get attracted to them.
What would be the kindest way to end things?