help?

[u/kis1el]

So I've got a boyfriend (we're both ftm) and he told me he would like me more if I had male genitalia. before that I rarely experienced genitalia dysphoria but now I think it's severe. I have no balls to confront him about it and how it made me feel. I feel like trash when I think about what he told me and when I look down there. honestly I don't know what to do 😞

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[u/Nuriel_Not_Uriel]

I'm really sorry that happened that's really shitty. You really need to stand up for yourself and communicate to him. Hiding from confrontation doesn't make it go away. It's hard but you have to tell him you feel upset.

[u/kis1el → u/Nuriel_Not_Uriel]

to be honest it's kinda my fault, I asked him a question "what would you do if you had to pick between cismale me and transmale me?" and curiosity killed the cat ig. he even told me something along the lines of "if you want to be disappointed then I'll tell you". I don't know if I want to confront him yet since we're having a tough time in our relationship, and despite that I don't want it to end

[u/Nuriel_Not_Uriel → u/kis1el]

No. That's not your fault. Dude. That's really fucking shitty. You seem young. Break this shit off now. If you're having rough times and he's saying this shit it's over. He doesn't respect you. Please please please. You deserve someone who loves you for all of you. You're not a placeholder for a cisman. You are a man. If he would prefer to be with a cis guy he can go be with a cis guy.

[u/Artistic_Reference_5]

Did he apologize? That's a deeply shitty thing to say. Consider dumping his ass.

Edit: also the fact that you can't tell him you feel hurt about him saying such an obviously shitty thing is a red flag. Someone you're dating should be someone you feel comfortable sharing your feelings with. Someone you know doesn't want to hurt you and who'd wanna know about it asap if they hurt you by mistake. This dude does not sound like that person.

[u/kis1el → u/Artistic_Reference_5]

besides the situation I mentioned in the post, he also told me today I was a lot more fun when we were just friends because he could insult me and I wouldn't even confront him about it. he can be sweet and loving when he wants to and complete oposite the next moment, sometimes I wonder if I'm doing something wrong or is he just bipolar

[u/silverwing_3 → u/kis1el]

Please break up with him.

[u/Artistic_Reference_5 → u/kis1el]

You deserve better. Please respect yourself and stop hanging out with him.

[u/throwaway_737438]

stand up for yourself, tell him youd like him more if he was cis too

[u/kis1el → u/throwaway_737438]

if I have such a conversation with him ever again I'll do exactly that. I guess it's his problem if he gets hurt, he didn't care about my feelings at all so I won't either

[u/throwaway_737438 → u/kis1el]

exactly, dont let anyone disrespect you. no one who loves you would say things like that. and hes trans too so what was he thinking tbh

[u/Alternative-Cut-6741]

This is horrible op and I'm sorry he said that to you. My only advice is that you NEED to talk to him and if you can't have a conversation with your partner even if it's hard/stressful you will never have a successful relationship.