r/introvert Aug 20 '17

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493 Upvotes
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r/introvert 4h ago

Discussion Have you ever felt that you don't belong anywhere?

121 Upvotes

I've been feeling like that since I was a little girl. Broken home. Abuse.

Have you ever felt like you don't belong anywhere? Lonely

No one like you?

Does it go away?

Always felt like an alien like I don't belong here, anywhere since I was a child. Always lonely. People wanted to be friends and I pushed them away. I was embarrassed of my life. I'm f 39. Growing up I felt ugly. Empty in my head. Not knowing how to talk. I always been a shy girl. always trying not to get in trouble for my mom.

When I was young and on my 20s it was horrible. Socially awkward. I felt cute, pretty mid 25s. I always felt very ugly before. People kept telling me I look younger.

After my 30s I matured, I'm told I look younger like on my early 20s . I'm close to 40 now. As I grew older, I think I'm an Empath. I feel people's feelings and I want to help them too.

I made some connections after I was 35. Made few friends. But aren't like me or share my favorite interests. Not very alone like before.

Nobady should feel like they don't belong anywhere.


r/introvert 5h ago

Question What do you do for fun when you’re always at home and have no friends?

47 Upvotes

What do you guys do for fun when you have no friends and basically nothing going on socially?

I’m always at home and I’m getting tired of just scrolling on my phone whenever I have free time.

What are your hobbies, activities, or little things you do to actually enjoy your time alone? I need some ideas.


r/introvert 8h ago

Discussion Stop being too "aware"

17 Upvotes

I feel like I’m too “aware” sometimes. I pay too much attention to other people’s expressions, read the mood, catch even the slightest reaction, “Oh, they don’t really like me,” or “They feel awkward around me rn and are trying to lighten the mood.” Id notice when someone is fake laughing to lighten the mood, a good social skill, saying things freely. For me, during casual conversations, it’s hard to pretend to laugh or react much when I don’t genuinely feel anything. Sometimes, it’s hard to show another side of myself when other people have already assumed that I’m just a “quiet” and goody-two-shoes kid. Sometimes i wish i can just lock myself in a room and do anything on my own, but i know us humans cant exactly do that, can we? I just hope im less "aware"....


r/introvert 3h ago

Article Study: Managers can be trained to lead neurodiverse teams. Managers can avoid equating charisma, eye contact, verbal fluency or constant sociability with leadership potential, and instead reward clarity, reliability, deep focus, creative problem-solving and direct communication.

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4 Upvotes

r/introvert 6h ago

Discussion Heyy there

6 Upvotes

my heart is heavy anyone wants to talk?

about anything

dm me

thank you


r/introvert 8h ago

Question Have you ever had a “gloomy” girlfriend/boyfriend? Where did you meet them?

8 Upvotes

This might sound kinda random, but I’ve always been attracted to people with a more gloomy, alternative, introverted or just slightly unusual vibe.

Not necessarily goth or anything — more like someone who has their own interests, doesn’t really care about following every TikTok trend, and might spend their free time playing some obscure game, listening to weird music, visiting museums, etc.

If you’ve ever dated someone like that, where did you actually meet them? School, hobbies, concerts, online, completely randomly?

I’m genuinely curious where people like that tend to hang out. :D


r/introvert 13h ago

Discussion I often feel like I’m forgotten or left out

18 Upvotes

I try to stay true to myself and not pretend to be someone that I’m not. I’m polite, respectful, and I make an effort to treat people well, but I still end up feeling excluded, overlooked and unimportant.

I’m calm and quiet person, and I know I may not have a strong presence in a group. Sometimes I feel like I have to force myself to be different or even pretend to have a different personality…..just so people notice me …

Over the years I’ve lost friendships because people stopped inviting me or including me. It makes me wonder:

Am I doing something wrong ?
Will I always have to pretend to be someone else to be included? Or are there others who feel the same way?

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced something similar :)


r/introvert 7h ago

Question Why do I hate unexpected plans?

5 Upvotes

Hello, hope anyone reading this has a good day.

To explain the caption, I went to the hospital today for an appointment with my mom. I am the type of person who HATES going out, and I need to be in the right mood and "energy levels" to even think about going out, even if it's a fun outing with friends. So I was already "drained."

I have my appointment with the doctor, and we leave. We get into a taxi (which I hate due to their unpredictability and bad experiences), and my mom tells the taxi to go to a completely different street from our apartment. I tell her that I don't wanna go there, and that I wanna go home. She ignores me, and we go there anyway.

I would have been fine with the errand if she just told me. I told her I was annoyed because I hate that it was so unexpected, and that, as insane as it sounds, I didn't have the mental capacity to go run an errand even if we were outside already (if that makes sense)

Does anyone know why I feel this way and how to fix it? And how can I make my mom understand how I feel?


r/introvert 4h ago

Discussion looking for some real human friends

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3 Upvotes

r/introvert 3h ago

Discussion Looking for Online Buddies

2 Upvotes

Looking for online buddies

Hi everyone. I’m Alex | 24 | SalvaMex American | Bi male

Introvert here who can socialize well in small groups for hours with people I know but shuts down quickly in big crowds. Still find it tough to initiate though.

Im looking to make a couple of buddies online to talk to. I’m finally feeling comfortable getting out of my shell but it seems a lot of people I know decided to get in theirs now… I get it. Things get rough because I had them rough for years. I don’t think I’ll ever stop being an introvert but I’ve been doing my best to stop being avoidant and lonely, which is the real problem. Been putting myself out of my comfort zone big time recently and want to do more of it.

Unfortunately, I pretty much have two irl friends and they’re busy and run on different schedules lol.

Since everyone here is also an introvert and might resonate with me on some level to begin with, I’d like to see if I can get some online buddies. I’m cool with anyone as long as they’re generally kind. I can have fun and make jokes of all kinds, but I’m not cool with people who put down others actively to hurt them. So if you’re chill, send me a DM. I’m generally an open book and want to get to know people of all kinds.

My downtime: big cook (Hispanic/seafood), going to the gym, anime, true crime podcasts, horror/thriller, public libraries, and occasional gaming (story/co-op/Paradox mostly but sometimes play Fortnite).


r/introvert 1h ago

More like social anxiety than introversion Should I keep pushing or just let it go?

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Upvotes

r/introvert 9h ago

Advice My dad is forcing me to attend networking events for his company and it’s awkward af

3 Upvotes

TL:DR at the end

So about 6 weeks ago I (21 M) joined my dad’s (41 M) company because I was unemployed and he asked me since the lady (49 F) who was working there before me wasn’t really doing a good job and he wanted to fire her.

Now for context my dad’s company is not big, it started last year and the lady was the only employee before I replaced her. Everyone else is contractors.

When he asked me about joining I wasn’t really sure because multiple times I asked him what I would have to do and he like wasn’t really sure? He was like a bit of this a bit of that…but at no point do I ever remember him saying I’d have to attend networking events or any events in general. I’m sure if he did I would remember cuz I really hate shit like that…

Well 1st day I “officially started” he tells me about this networking group that he is in and the other lady is in as well on behalf of his company. For context they are in different networking “groups” which are both part of the same networking organisation. I don’t wanna go into the specifics too much but everyone there is a business owner themselves. No one sends like an employee to attend events for them…(tbf though this does happen but I haven’t specifically seen this personally).

So now I replaced this lady in the other group and I attend these weekly events. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not some anti-social person with insane social anxiety. I don’t have problems talking to people but generally speaking I prefer keeping to my self and I hate small talk, but everyone there is an actual business owner themselves and pretty much everyone is above the age of 40…so u can imagine how I don’t really have anything to say…I also don’t know much about the industry he works in. I pretty much have virtually no experience or knowledge…like what does he expect me to actually say bro?? The way I understood the job before agreeing was that I was gonna answer emails/ phone calls/ book meeting for him/ make social media content and other digital things as I’ve worked in tech.

Now it kinda gets worse…the whole point of the networking event is to get to know each other and also each other’s business and overtime send referrals to each other. I literally have no one I can possibly recommend to anyone because you can imagine how other people in my age group don’t need accountants or lawyers or mortgage brokers…so every week they also ask like if we made any referrals so I just have to say no -.- like bro pls. The awkwardness just makes me wanna kms.

Then I am also expected to attend 1 on 1 meetings with everyone in the group to like get to know each other and each others businesses…I think you can imagine how this is difficult due to the age gap and also I don’t actually know much about my dad’s industry…I also don’t really do anything interesting irl to talk about. Like I had 1 last week and the guy asked me what am I gonna do on the weekend and I’m dead ass not doing anything. Like I just sit at home and go to the gym…I dead ass don’t know what I’m supposed to say. I might just have to start making shit up.

There’s also other social events (about once a month) within this networking organisation that he forces me to attend to like get to know everyone so they are more likely to recommend us or something. Now my dad has gotten multiple jobs from his group since he joined but the lady working before me (she also had never worked int his industry and didn’t know anything), didn’t get 1 in the 5 months she was in the group so obviously it doesn’t work well for us because both of us don’t know shit lmao. But at least she was a lot more social and she was in their age group so she could talk about something but for me it’s just a pain in the ass and awkward as fuck. I just feel like it’s so pointless because how can they trust to recommend us when I can’t even talk about the industry I supposedly working in lmao.

Idk what to do and I don’t see a way out I also kinda need the money and I kind of can’t just quit cuz well it’s my dad obviously. I’m dead ass supposed to reach out to this people to have 1 to 1 meetings when I know we not gonna have shit to talk about fuuuuuck.

Also kinda off topic but in the past he asked me about working for him and I said I wouldn’t mind but I’d rather not because I don’t really wanna do business with family. And obviously he sends me txt messages and calls me in non-working hours and on the weekends to tell me about things he wants me to do like bruh we’re not co-owners I’m just an employee. Shit’s annoying as fuck bro. I doubt he was texting the other lady on the weekend about work.

TL:DR My (21M) dad (41M) makes me attend these networking events for his company but it’s awkward as fuck because I don’t know anything about the industry he works in and I don’t do anything interesting irl and everyone else in there is 40+


r/introvert 2h ago

More like social anxiety than introversion How to make friends in college as an introvert?

1 Upvotes

I have horrible social anxiety and for the past week I have been pushing myself to talk to people. I’ve only been able to hit it off with a few people (1-2 people mind you) but besides that I’m pretty much alone. I walk to class alone, eat lunch alone, study alone, etc. I genuinely don’t know what it’s about me that makes me unapproachable or unlikable. the other day, I joined my colleges swim club as a returning swimmer after a 4 year break, and there was this group of 3 girls in the same lane as me. Yk I’m tryna talk and be sociable or wtv and not once do they acknowledge me, like no eye contact, nothing. Like I genuinely felt so invisible and excluded like wtf. Also I joined my schools orchestra and I talked to like 1 person, my deskie, but there was also another girl that was new and everybody was coming up to her to greet her. Like good for her but like why not me too? and now I’m trying to join more clubs and trying to sit near people in my classes and make small talk but idk if I have the fucking plague or something, but no one reciprocates it. Im thinking about going to like 3 more clubs, but so far it’s not working, someone PLEASE give me advice. What else should I do???


r/introvert 1d ago

Discussion Hey extroverts. Some privacy ettiquette

57 Upvotes

Stop looking over my shoulder to talk about what I have on my cell phone. Stop asking what I'm doing. Stop grabbing phones out of my hand while I'm on it to scroll through apps to show me something. Stop grabbing my phone out of my hand to show me something and google search it. You got your own phone on you too. Oh and maybe stop taking pics of someone without asking and then posting it on Facebook. Same could go with personal computers but.. not that many people are in my room so.​​ either way the same etiquette should apply.


r/introvert 3h ago

More like social anxiety than introversion Anyone here actually overcome severe social anxiety?

0 Upvotes

I’m in my early 20s and my social anxiety is pretty bad, especially on the phone. I know talking to people more would probably be good exposure for me even though it currently feels like I’m going to die every time 😂
If you’ve genuinely gotten better, what helped you? I’d also be down to play BO2 and practice talking over voice chat with someone patient and chill. I’m genuinely just trying to work on my social skills lol


r/introvert 3h ago

Discussion Maybe I just miss having people around .

0 Upvotes

I’m 18M, an introvert, and currently taking a drop year. Lately, I’ve been realizing how strangely quiet life can become when you don’t really have a circle of your own.

I’ve never really had many friends, even growing up. I got used to keeping things to myself, spending a lot of time alone, and convincing myself that I was perfectly fine with it. But somewhere along the way, the silence started feeling less peaceful and more… lonely.

Being an introvert doesn’t mean I don’t want people around. Sometimes I genuinely wish I had someone to randomly talk to, share stupid thoughts with, laugh about something completely pointless, or just have a normal conversation without overthinking every word.

The drop year probably hasn’t helped either. Watching everyone else seem to move forward while your own days start blending together can mess with your head. Recently I’ve been feeling pretty low and noticing some signs that my mental health isn’t exactly at its best.

I’m not writing this expecting anyone to fix that for me. I think I just wanted to put it somewhere instead of keeping it bottled up again.

Maybe there are other people who understand what this kind of loneliness feels like. If nothing else, it’s comforting to know I’m probably not the only one.


r/introvert 8h ago

Question Is it "wrong" to be alone?

2 Upvotes

My bf told me that he was worried about me not having any close friends. (particularly because of the fact that I live in a foreign country and plan to work here in the future.)
I totally get what he means but at the same time I do feel that I'm so introverted that I feel like I would be okay alone?
He's a huge extrovert and is basically out with different friends every other day. Everyone likes talking to him and often asks him for advice. He loves connecting with new people.

I'm the complete opposite of that. It's not that I hate socialising but I don't feel the need to make many connections. The idea of trying to get to know as many people as possible sounds so exhausting to me.

Idk. I'm just curious what other introverts think. He's brought this up multiple times.
Sometimea I do wish I have a very close friend who can be there for me, but thinking about back to past experiences, even when I did ai never felt like people were there for me so I don't feel that it makes that big of a difference.


r/introvert 1h ago

Relationship I’m 15 and I’ve never had a girlfriend

Upvotes

Okay, I know this might sound idiotic but I’m really worried about it. All my friends have had girlfriends at some point and yet I haven’t. I find it really hard to talk to people and start any conversation, i basically only speak unless spoken to. I do have a few good friends in a pinch. It’s just recently my friend who goes to an ALL BOYS school got a girlfriend and yet I still haven’t. It feels like something is wrong with me. I do try to socialise and sometimes go to clubs outside of school, but I rarely enjoy it and when I do it’s just when I’m hanging out with my actual friends. Sorry if I’ve gone on a tangent or something but I was just wondering if never having a girlfriend at 15 is really that bad? Or am I just overreacting? Hell, I don’t even know if I want one or if I’m just feeling pressured to…it’s just a lot. Sorry if you read all this lol (It’s hit me really hard, probably cuz of the hormones or something but still)
(Also didn’t know what flair to put)


r/introvert 5h ago

Advice Can someone genuinely be this busy?

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1 Upvotes

r/introvert 1d ago

Question How are introverts dating?

164 Upvotes

or making friends?

I'm female, in my mid 30's and have given up at this point, I don't have any friends and I've never been on a date been an introvert my whole life with social anxiety. I always hear of introverts in relationships or married but I can't see it happening for myself, going to be single for life at this point which I have accepted.

Friends have come and gone but were never real genuine friends, they were fake users and the few good ones I lost contact with.

I have tried online dating but it never even got to the meeting stage, there were a few men who wanted to meet me but I got too scared and made some excuse not to meet. I deleted the apps and never went back on them, it also wasn't helping that I wasn't really attracted to anyone, there were a few but they never replied or had kids. I'm not interested in that kind of baggage. I have to find the person attractive or it won't work. A lot of people would say it's having high standards but it's not, I'm not interested in dating loads of people, the first person I date should be the one.

I'm not asking for much, just want to share my life with someone, it doesn't have to be anything romantic, just a friendship but even that is impossible.


r/introvert 22h ago

Discussion Love being out

19 Upvotes

But don’t want to converse with people. I like walking around malls, sporting events, parks etc. I know many introverts like to stay home but my ADHD has me crawling up a wall. So I go out and people watch


r/introvert 7h ago

Video Susan Cain TED Talk ‘The Power of Introverts’

1 Upvotes

I just saw this for the first time even though it, apparently, first appeared on youtube 14 years ago. Check it out. I thought it was powerful.


r/introvert 1d ago

Discussion I don't think people realise how hard it is to relate to someone when you have no interest in socialising at all

34 Upvotes

I'm not necessarily an introvert who enjoys socialising sometimes. I'm basically completely off when it comes to the social side of life. I don't want friends, I don't want to hang out and I'd genuinely rather spend my free time in my room. I've realised how different that makes my life from the average person's.

Even having a normal conversation can be strange. You can't exactly tell a coworker you have no friends and spent the entire weekend in your room doing nothing. They'll probably think that's weird. So when I was asked what I did over the weekend, I just said I went to the gym, which I didn't. Not because I like lying, but because I genuinely didn't have another answer that felt normal enough to say.

The average person or an extrovert might have holidays booked, plans every weekend, friends to see and places to go. Meanwhile, I'm just thinking about getting home. It's almost like two cars driving towards each other at 100 km/h. Our lives are going in completely different directions.

You can either tell the truth and risk people seeing you differently, give a vague answer, or make something up. You can cosplay as a social person for a while, but eventually you'll get tired of pretending. Unless the person is genuinely like you, which probably isn't going to be easy to find, I don't think you can naturally relate to them without faking some level of it.

I'm not saying this because I secretly want their life. I genuinely don't. But at the same time, I can see how difficult the whole thing is when your life is so far outside the norm socially. It's crazy how different you can be from the average person and still be completely fine with it, while knowing that you probably won't have much to say to each other without putting on some sort of act.


r/introvert 7h ago

Question How to deal with highschool

1 Upvotes

I'm 16, and school is starting again soon. I still have 3 years of high school left, and honestly, I've disliked almost every part of it so far, the school itself, studying, the people, the commute, pretty much everything. This year the classes are being reshuffled, so most of my classmates will be new people, and these groups will stay the same for the rest of high school. What would you genuinely recommend I do? Do you have any questions that would help you understand my situation better? (Changing schools isn’t an option.)

Also I've used AI to write this because English isn't my first language sorry.