r/whenthe 11h ago

BRB, destroying the few grams of Californium on Earth

4.5k Upvotes

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2.6k

u/Alreadsyuse I want Stay Gold and Dream Journey to give me double naizuri 11h ago

1.1k

u/Alreadsyuse I want Stay Gold and Dream Journey to give me double naizuri 11h ago edited 11h ago

On another note, I was born in 2007, so I'm sure it wouldn't be as bad as having hydrogen as your weakne-

(Fucking Nitrogen)

459

u/SmokJozef 10h ago

we're actually supermen, we just dont know it because all the nitrogen suppresses our powers

192

u/Grndslap 10h ago

They actually didn’t say what type of kryptonite it would act like. It could turn your powers off, kill you, change your sex, or turn you evil for all we know

158

u/Mundane_History_7306 10h ago

…or make you gay

57

u/Sorndir 9h ago

So pink kryptonite then

45

u/Mundane_History_7306 9h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/ZuR6KIdhzwb28
“Yeah this one it made me suck off a gay frog”

19

u/WeirdAssBeings 🍆literally a femboy🏳️‍🌈 9h ago

This guy is fr such a fucking feverdream

5

u/Believer4 8h ago

We don't talk about the pink one

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u/EthanTGX13 8h ago

big if true for trans ppl born in 07

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u/Polenball 8h ago

To an extremely minor degree, this is unironically true! Nitrogen is a very mild intoxicant. You only notice the effects at high pressures, but we're actually always slightly intoxicated by atmospheric nitrogen and we're just used to it.

Some researchers did a study where people did reaction time tests in the normal atmosphere and in a mixture where all the nitrogen was replaced by helium (which has no noted intoxicating effects at any pressure). People had a statistically significant 9.3% decrease in reaction time the helium-oxygen mixture, regardless of which order the tests were carried out in. Effectively, we're always being very slightly sedated.

15

u/autumn_dances 7h ago

so what you're saying is that if one wants to be a top e-sports player, they have to have a pressurized room that's continuously pumped with a helium-oxygen breathing mixture? brb calling the local contractor

8

u/guto8797 3h ago

Man, hearing racial slurs with the helium pitch through voice chat would be a new experience.

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u/Aarolin THIS. IS. WHENTHE. 5h ago

I always knew it was pay to win 😔

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u/G-man1816 6h ago

Wait so if I'm in a helium-oxygen mixture I'll finally have the reaction time to shoot that stupid guy peeking that corner in CS?

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u/Fanatic_Atheist 10h ago

2006 would be carbon skull emoji

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u/Massive-Word-7327 9h ago

I think that's the worst after hydrogen.

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u/Mushroom38294 10h ago

You think you have it bad? Try being a carbon-based lifeform weak to fucking carbon

6

u/autumn_dances 7h ago

auto-immune disease mfs be like: first time?

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u/HolyElephantMG 8h ago

2000s are pretty much all screwed. To add on though. 2008 is oxygen, so RIP to them as well. It’s ironic, the thing that we need to live is also what kills you.

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u/Sleeper-- 8h ago

Well, fuck me, 2008,FUCKING OXYG—

8

u/Same_Tune_8990 8h ago

i was born in 2008 guess ill die

23

u/Thomas_314 Undertale fans whenthe skeleton gives you a bad time: 10h ago

Present in every single plant I'm sure

27

u/FantasmaNaranja You should goon to freedom. 10h ago

present in 70% of the air

5

u/PolimerT 10h ago

Present in your cells. Yeah seems to not work out

5

u/Massive-Word-7327 9h ago

Yeah present in every single protein.

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u/Faust_the_Faustinian 9h ago

If it makes you feel better, 2008 kids have oxygen as their weakness.

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u/DreadDiana 11h ago

So many early 2000s folks dying from shit that is a core part of their biology.

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u/TimSoarer2 you won the game. it is finally over. 10h ago

Carbon 😔

17

u/Namdoog_Luas_ 9h ago

Cabron 👨🏽‍🦲

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u/PolimerT 10h ago

As a humble 2005 person i guess im on the safer side.

39

u/whypeoplehateme 10h ago

We just got a severe fiberglass allergy

14

u/Nyctfall 10h ago

Forbidden cotton candy

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u/Cultural_Season_3048 8h ago

If I was born in 05 I would be super vulnerable, since I work with borosilicate glass.

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u/crispyspicynuggets 10h ago

being born in 2002 and having to get rid of balloons and mri machines:

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u/Ikkota_Rattus Gay indieslop consumer 10h ago

Also going in the sun will kill you, can you imagine?

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u/cheese_bruh 10h ago

There’s helium in the air too

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u/Own_Temporary6929 11h ago

Deslopped version (not mine)

22

u/Any--Name 10h ago

Hanako did it first

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u/Interneteldar 11h ago

Depends on whether it must be in its pure form

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u/Zelda57 10h ago

kids born in 2011 the second they try to eat anything (it had salt in it)

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u/Vincent394 Say it'll make you insane, and I'm bending the truth, you're to— 7h ago

Jokes on you I'm into salt

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u/La_Savitara 5h ago

Salt kills you now (faster than before)

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u/Forward-Exercise-385 38% Blue 7h ago

yeah pretty much

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u/Aestronom Idiotic Femboy 4h ago

2006 kids after trying to exist (they are made of posion apparently)

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u/davidarblack 11h ago

98 - Californium.... It's radioactive so.... Nothing changed???

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u/Kajetus06 11h ago

And insanely difficult to create

167

u/Red580 10h ago

Getting periodic cramps when walking outside the Large Hadron Collider.

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u/UX1Z 7h ago

In general the late 90s are set. Berkelium (97) may as well functionally not exist at all. There's about 10 grams of Californium, there's less than a single gram of 97.

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u/Drakeskulled_Reaper 6h ago edited 4h ago

I'm 89, actinium, it's so rare that the amount extracted in the world, is about the same size as a grain of sand.

It's also very radioactive.

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u/TheQuestionMaster8 9h ago

Even a microscopic amount of the most common isotope Californium-252 would be capable of killing a human

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u/Mother_ma 7h ago

I think I would survive

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u/glebine 10h ago

Wdym nothing changed!? You have Superman powers???

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u/HubrisOfApollo 10h ago

stay the hell away from smoke detectors

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u/davidarblack 10h ago

That's americium, Californium is only made in labs and is highly unstable

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u/TheQuestionMaster8 9h ago

Californium is the heaviest element which currently has practical applications, but it is for niche uses such as nuclear reactor start-up, to detect underground water and other applications which require a portable fast neutron source.

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u/theREALbombedrumbum 7h ago

97 is the synthetic element Berkelium and only a gram has ever been made in history as its only use is for the scientific research of "hey we made an element"

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u/ToastyTheDragon 7h ago

Hell yeah 😎

Hey.. wanna go flying and being invincible and laughing at all the people born post 2000 together? 👉👈

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u/Wboy2006 Why are we shitposting? Are we stupid? 11h ago

Carbon...

Fuck

306

u/Kajetus06 11h ago

Considering its literally inside you

201

u/XoriVinmor 10h ago

Carbon is one of the elements that's so much of you it just is you. You are your own kryptonite.

45

u/Kinosa07 8h ago

Dude that'd make a fire comic concept, following the daily life of a crippled superhero allergic to themselves

21

u/emo_boy_fucker 7h ago

The story ends when it reaches present day and its just a gravestone and the whole story has just been a flashback

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u/Blue_Moon_Lake 5h ago

So... regular auto-immune disease?

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u/syngyne 9h ago

You have a self-hating molecular structure.

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u/Business_Afternoon51 9h ago

My only enemy is me and me alone. Seems accurate

5

u/FantasticWater1997 8h ago

Worse than hydrogen

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u/BiAroBi 9h ago

Me meeting someone who will be born in three years

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u/ingrimsch95 11h ago

I can't visit the US, so I don't really see any downside

121

u/OrbusIsCool 11h ago

Doth the teachings of young Sheldon's smoke detector experiments not weigh on thine conscience?

31

u/wookiee-nutsack I trap ants in my foreskin and start pissing 9h ago

Donald Trump neg diffs you

33

u/Faust_the_Faustinian 9h ago

The idea that he's someone's Lex Luthor is insanely funny.

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u/bulettee 10h ago

Pretty sure most firealarms (both in and outside the US) contain americium

6

u/HarioDinio 6h ago

Just dont lick them then

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u/Jazz6701 life’s least favourite loser 11h ago

oh boy im 08 lets see what I go-

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u/Rob-o-huhh 11h ago

Fucking oxygen

139

u/Deathstroke0305 11h ago

Ingot nitrogen which makes up more fo the atmosphere. So I just die immediately or build.up that sweet sweet kryptonite resistance.

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u/Rob-o-huhh 11h ago

Yeah, but at least you can wear a scuba suit and breathe oxygen+helium mixture, while the oxygen is needed to fucking live

13

u/Massive-Word-7327 9h ago

Nitrogen is also needed as every amino acid has nitrogen.

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u/DreadDiana 11h ago

Their last breath was the one that killed them

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u/Souls_for_sale_now 11h ago

well i got carbon and thats litraly built in

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u/liamhvet 11h ago

This is a psyop to get people to say their ages

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u/Prcrstntr 2h ago

A couple years ago now I think, I gave chatGPT my reddit username and told it to find out my real name. With some mild guiding and cross-platform data doxxing, it did, despite my own poisoned data on here.

It's already easy for AI to identify you. Xth letter of your name, Name and date of birth only makes it trivial.

534

u/steelscaled 11h ago

Never have I seen people baited to give away their birth year so easily.

447

u/Alreadsyuse I want Stay Gold and Dream Journey to give me double naizuri 11h ago

Ikr? Look at all the dumbasses telling people their birth year is 1007 lmao

147

u/DreadDiana 11h ago

The Hellsing Organisation is having a field day

26

u/you_not_a_werid_dude john lobotomy 8h ago

Hey kids wanna see a dead body

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u/ZakriiYT 7h ago

Suddenly I feel like going for a very enthusiastic walk

6

u/Drakeskulled_Reaper 6h ago

Find homicidal vampire priests in your woods tonight!

5

u/KillLaKaiju When will NieR ever achieve a piss drop's worth of happiness? 6h ago

The Catholics are crusading...

...while the Nazis are invading.

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u/BigBoyBill1477 dm me unnerving images 10h ago

I, too, was born one thousand years ago. Perhaps more.

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u/Zero_Zeta_ 10h ago

I am a relic of the last millennium. I have seen things people from this age wouldn't believe.

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u/khaledjal 10h ago

no we will believe you, just tell us

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u/Quaytsar 5h ago

Sure you were, BigBoyBill1477. Little 549 year old acting like he's a millennial 🙄

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u/Pyrotyrano Average dinosaur fan 10h ago

Plot twist: Op is harvesting people’s data. Why? Idk go ask him.

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u/Yorrins 7h ago

They literally are lmao. Every single post like this is data harvesting.

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u/NOGUSEK 9h ago

Its only the birth year And you act like you now every single detail about me

Like wow you know i was born in a selection of 365 days i dont care

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u/flightguy07 6h ago

Sure. Issue is that the same account people comment on this post from may also have commented on those "the first three letters of your first name, the last 3 letters of your last name and the suffix -ere make your fantasy name!" posts, and maybe mentioned their star sign in another, follow some subreddits for their home city, have mentioned their gender, maybe their race, etc. A dedicated individual with a couple hours, or increasingly, an AI, could very easily collate tens of thousands of comments from across a few years and likely figure out a great deal about a person. The best policy is to be very, very careful about any personal information you post, anywhere.

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u/ProfessorZhu 9h ago

Many people include the last two digits of their birth year into their passwords. The chances that OP or anyone would be able to get anything useful out of this thread is almost nill so I wouldn't worry. But social hacking is one of the best ways to get access to stuff you shouldn't have access to

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u/Significant_Ad_1626 7h ago

Also, the data can always be scavenged among several post. With that said, even more info about you could be public and that doesn't mean a problem if you are aware of it.

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u/ThinkingWithPortalzz 9h ago

This is as dumb as those Facebook posts where "your Harry Potter name is your mother's maiden name, the street you grew up on, and your first pet's name"

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u/Shadowmirax 10h ago

Nah the guy who invented birthdays clearly holds the record for best bait.

4

u/AGamingGuy 6h ago

people learning i am a vampire born in year 2 because i said my weakness is Helium

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u/AutisticFaygo Rhombus Company 10h ago

LITERALLY EVERYTHING LIVING OR DEAD IS MY KRYPTONITE

CARBON

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u/AlguienMas2003 9h ago

Even you are your own kryptonite

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u/endergamer2007m purpl 11h ago

I have '07

Nitrogen.... the most abundant element in the atmosphere

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u/Pitiful-Election-438 8h ago

I dont think there's any surviving this one cause if oxygen was more concentrated thatd also be fatal

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u/smallerpuppyboi 11h ago

Boron. Not sure how common that is but I should be decently safe.

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u/2tiickyGlue 11h ago

Boron is already dangerous to interact with anyways so nothing changed

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u/DigitusInRecto 9h ago

True, so it's booorooon'...

I know where the door is.

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u/jmanharris 10h ago

Commonly used in the production of semiconductors, so its present in most electronics. Used in many common detergents. Also used in some industrial insecticides specifically because it isn't toxic to mammals.

Unless you get something that doesn't exist in nature you're pretty much living on borrowed time.

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u/ggtpme 10h ago

Isn't Boron like super common in every day appliances? If your house is insulated with fiberglass insulation it'll contain a bit of it. In it's pure elemental form probably not but boron is essentially in a lot of things

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u/agentpea07 8h ago

But there's only used in small amounts, covered in layers of metal and plastic. Would that still affect you?

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u/ggtpme 8h ago

Probably? I don't know Superman personally, but I think if boron were replaced with kryptonite, he'd probably be just as useful as he is currently... nerfed to human status if you will... most of the time anyway

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u/Ylteicc_ 10h ago

Beryllium. I'm mostly fine.

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u/Dimensionalanxiety 10h ago

Beryllium kills you slowly in an incurable way to begin with. You remain neutral.

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u/TheSoulborgZeus [REDACTED] 5h ago

out of all the post-2000 elements this one is the safest to be allergic to

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u/Robert_Oppenheimer2 Da bomb 11h ago

Lithium

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u/OneRedEyeDevI 10h ago

lmao Imagine getting no-diffed by a phone battery

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u/Robert_Oppenheimer2 Da bomb 10h ago

The battery is usually covered up, does that protect me?

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u/DW_Hydro 10h ago

I think it doesn't, some versions of Superman can be affected by Kryptonite even without touching it.

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u/riceandbeanburrito 8h ago

Yeah, vicinity usually works against super man when it comes to kryptonite. Although is it because it's radioactive and giving off rays?

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u/uvero how it feels to spread OP's ashes 🐬🌈 10h ago

Late 90s kids feeling pretty good about themselves

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u/ABEGIOSTZ 10h ago

Einsteinium gang let’s go

8

u/A-Lewd-Khajiit 9h ago

Basically the same weakness as superman, but in a different way

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u/AdamtheOmniballer 7h ago

“You’re weak to plutonium? No shit, everyone is weak to plutonium, dumbass!”

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u/hornybisexual20 10h ago

2006….every organic life form on earth is based on carbon. Do I just…do I just slowly die?

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u/Extrions_le_Dumbass 10h ago

I mean you already are slowly dying it just takes couple years

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u/BWEzu 9h ago

Oh nooooo... My kryptonite would be uranium... What ever shall I do?

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u/BWEzu 9h ago

I guess I will be avoiding the Ural

4

u/greenwoodgiant 8h ago

hahaha I got Polonium, so same

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u/DIEHARD_noodler 11h ago

Beryllium, let’s go!

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u/Femboy_pfp 11h ago

Born in 02, I'm practically invincible

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u/Rob-o-huhh 10h ago

Unless someone pops a helium balloon in your face

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u/Nyctfall 10h ago

Funniest weakness ever.

Balloon: *floats nearby*

Hero: Nooooooooo! My powers are gone!

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u/Hielodo 11h ago

08.........it's so over.

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u/Dzelov 10h ago

JoJo ass superpower conditions

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u/d_worren 11h ago

... is this shit just phishing out birthday dates?

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u/Nary841 8h ago

yep, but there is any good use for that information ?

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u/UnhappyStrain 10h ago

Anyone got any Einsteinium?

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u/FEMFATAL_451 11h ago

Fluorine… that’s not too bad right?

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u/DreadDiana 11h ago

You're about as weak to it as you were as a human

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u/chickensause123 10h ago

They put that shit in tapwater bro. Your fucked six ways from Sunday.

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u/TheCatSleeeps 8h ago

You ain't brushing your teeth ig. That shit's in toothpaste

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u/NewDealChief My Racist Ass Could Not Be Barack Obama 💀 11h ago

Wtf is Boron?

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u/NewDealChief My Racist Ass Could Not Be Barack Obama 💀 11h ago

Oh so as long as I don't go to Turkey I'm fine.

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u/Leogis 10h ago

Casually putting my birth date on the internet

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u/LordRT27 10h ago

No clue how prevelent lithium is, so can't really say how screwed I am, but at least it is a solid at room temperature.

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u/Appropriate-Gain-561 10h ago

Lithium is in batteries my guy

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u/Stunning-Original802 10h ago

Household batteries. So, your phone and any AAA batteries.

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u/Spookki 10h ago

Untill 00 is the absence lf matter, meaning that your weakness is the spaces between particles.

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u/spectre655321 10h ago

Uranium… nothing has changed

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u/ScreamingmadJoe 10h ago

People born in 03 with bipolar are having the worst time apparently

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u/AmazingFootballMan2 11h ago

What the heck is a Fluorine?

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u/DreadDiana 11h ago edited 10h ago

Highly corrosive noble gas halogen which reacts with almost everything.

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u/M8nGiraffe 10h ago

> noble gas
> reacts with almost anything

something does not add up

3

u/dater_expunged 10h ago

It isn't a noble gass. one off

11

u/hornybisexual20 10h ago

Flourine isn’t a noble gas. Ur prolly thinking of neon or argon

4

u/Rob-o-huhh 10h ago

Noble gas means not reactive. And fluorine is a halogen, so you're wrong two times in one sentence.

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u/DreadDiana 10h ago

I am two cheeks of a whole dumbass.

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u/TheRealEbonyAndIvory 11h ago

Lithium is a rare enough element in daily life (it is fairly common in and of itself). I mean what even uses that? Rockets? If I am functionally a kriptonian I can go to space whenever

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u/DreadDiana 11h ago

Batteries. Lithium ion batteries.

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u/TheRealEbonyAndIvory 11h ago

You know I knew I remembered it was in a household object but didn't remember which

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u/Kihran 10h ago

Mine is lead

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u/Travis-Tee34 8h ago

So you're a Daxamite.

Could be worse, I suppose...

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u/MalaysiaBoi 10h ago

oh boy I'm 07 let's see what I go-

https://giphy.com/gifs/P4M0XaiBdmgDxwvBfa

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u/dracodruid2 9h ago

The periodic table should have been posted as second picture. 

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u/SoulEaterX_ 8h ago

Sucks to be an 07 kid😞✌️

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u/Asumsauce 7h ago

I GOT CARBO—

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u/gregariousity WhoLivesInAPineappleUnderTheSea MalaysiaAirlinesFlight370 11h ago

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u/Numbah_Wan 11h ago

97.

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u/transkeith the kris goons theory is real 10h ago

Berkelium

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u/Pokemario2401 11h ago

Nitrogen is the most abundant element in the air. I'm dead

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u/A_True_Son_of_Terra [REDACTED] 11h ago

Boron sweet I am mostly safe

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u/SeicoBass Escaped E621 Prisoner 10h ago

96, safest mf alive

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u/starryeyedshooter 10h ago

Pour one out for the 2026 babies, their kryptonite is iron. Unfortunate. 🫗

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u/casualwithoutabeard 10h ago

bro got a grudge against 08

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u/SmileyFace799 10h ago

Dam I got Lithium, I can't munch on batteries anymore 😔

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u/Lorcout | - |I - || - |_ 10h ago

2009, my teeth will be the death of me.

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u/PrinceCavendish 10h ago

Francium, so I'm set I guess?

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u/ScoutDarkSmash 10h ago

Ah yes. Lithium. As if that wasnt already dangerous if it catches fire

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u/Sekhmet-CustosAurora 10h ago

'04 babies are chilling. Beryllium is everyone's kryptonite.

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u/ShadyMan_BooRadley 9h ago

Einsteinium was quite the funny coincidence, also a bonus anyone trying to get their hands on it has to find a way to contend with a ton of radiation lol

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u/transkeith the kris goons theory is real 10h ago

tf do you mean people born after 2005 are active on reddit

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u/TrinityCodex 11h ago

fucking Curium

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u/BusterB2005 white 10h ago

05: Boron

Well shit guess I can never eat certain fruits and nuts again. As someone who doesn’t actually have a peanut allergy, I’d almost rather get Hydrogen and just die instantly than live without peanut butter