(All names are fake. I'll lowkey delete this sometime this month and also English isn't my first language. TW: suicide!!)
I was classmates in elementary school with a guy who killed himself at the start of this year. I'll call him Adrian in this. I'm 15 and his last best friend Joseph was my first best friend, but we haven't talked in years except for at Adrian's funeral. I didn't interact with Adrian after middle school started, but attended his funeral after being invited. I wouldn't say he and I were ever friends, but we were absolutely on good terms. I'm not in active contact with anyone from our old class, except for a guy who's now in another class in my school, but we aren't friends. Adrian's parents wanted to make some sort of memorybook for him with letters by people who visited his funeral and I'll bring my letter to Joseph's, because his mom wants to deliver it to Adrian's parents. That's probably going to be the last time I'll visit Joseph's house again and I'd wanna ask for a photo of Adrian just to know what he looked like more recently. Is that an appropriate request or should I not ask for that?

My dog Gimli just passed away. I found him motionless this morning around 7 am. He looked like he got into my older brother’s chip bag that must have fallen off the table and got his head stuck in it. He was only 3 about to turn 4 come October 1st. I have lost many dogs before but all to old age all passing away at 14-17 years of age. This is the first time I have lost a dog so young and so energetic. I don’t want him gone, I want him to come back. I want my Corgi back so badly. I-I don’t know what to do. I cried myself to sleep and it was dreamless I don’t even remember sleeping. My whole family are blaming themselves. My mom blames herself for buying those chips, my brother blames himself for not finishing them and tossing the bag, my dad blames himself for not having heard, and I blame myself for not getting up sooner. I don’t know what to do my heart is broken and I’m sobbing. I want to be with him (no actual intention to do anything I just want to have him again.) This is the first time in 26 years my family hasn’t actively had a dog in the house.

I’m 28 F and I’m am struggling with unaliving thoughts. For anyone that has experienced someone passing like that, have yall moved on? I feel like my wife and mom will of course miss me but they’ll eventually move on right? Life goes on at the end of the day. She’ll find someone else and my mom has my sister.

so my (28f) mom (70) died in december 2025 and my dad (73) died in july 2026, about 7 months apart. mom was expected, dad was sudden. it’s been destabilizing to say the least. i’m doing okay, and have a lot of positives to focus on. i’m therapized, medicated, I have an incredible gf and support system, my job is good, stable, and understanding. waves of grief and magical thinking are still happening and will for a while.

I took a grief-moon for the two weeks after his death (I had coincidentally had a vacation scheduled and my gf and I started it early, highly recommend after losing someone), and then took a week of bereavement for the funeral arrangements. last week was my first week back at work, and i’ve been slowly resuming “normal” life as best I can.

last week we had some friends over to watch a movie. one of these friends had already been awkward about my dad being in the hospital (he had a stroke so she thought it was a good opportunity to pivot the topic to her 14 year old crusty white dog who had just had surgery lmfao), so I had low expectations to say the least. I’m not close with her so I don’t really care.

she unfortunately arrives first. she comes into the apartment. sits down and says nothing about my dad. then proceeds to rant for about 10 minutes about how her gf of 6ish months broke up with her. thankfully our other friend arrived pretty quickly after that and we were able to change the subject.

schadenfreude aside, the fuck? being put in a position of having to pretend that I give a fuck abt someone who can’t put on her big boy pants and say “i’m sorry for your loss” is so wildly inappropriate. my partner was pretty annoyed on my behalf. it took every fiber of my being to not say, “you’ll be okay, you won’t die.”

I don’t want people to have to experience losing a parent while they are in their 20s, let alone both. it sucks. the day my dad died, we got home from the hospital and I cried so hard i was scared. I just wish people could tap into empathy without comparing the death of a parent to a fucking medically fragile dog or a break up.

My gf lost her 35 year old son 2 years ago. She has break downs from time to time and just a few minutes ago she had another spout of random grief that got harder then Iv ever seen.

She cried a hard hard cry for 10 minutes straight. The kinda of cry that comes from the gut and whelps from the chest.

Her adopted 95 year old father lost a son in the 80s and he always said “she would get over it.” He was born in 1930 and grew up in a different time and it seemed kinda harsh but he also is 95 and it’s been 40 years since his son died so he may or may not know a thing or two about grief.

So my question is does grief hit harder for a mother? If so is it because she bore that child and nurtured it for the very first few years of life?

Thanks for your time.

Im 13m she was 13f as well her name was myanna. We were friends since pre k. I have been into spirituality and she was too. She was really nice and always very selfless. We'd never be apart once. A few months ago back in march we were going to a local band concert because we were saving up for it. More of her because i made her. She didn't really want to go but i think she wanted to make me happy so she did. and when my mom was driving us there we got hit head on by a truck. Myanna wasn't wearing a seatbelt. When we got hit myanna flew straight into the windshield. I saw blood literally gushing out. My mom also died. I always blame myself. I lost 4 fingers. To cope i started sh. I decided to get a owigi board. I used it and tried to talk to her but she always answers in short words. I tell her how im sorry. I keep trying. No luck. Will update.

Has anybody ever just hit a point after years where you think "why have I got all this stuff?" and/or "I don't want these reminders any more"

When my parents died I took so much stuff, things like 3 hair brushes, clothes ornaments, that suddenly feels so pointless.

I'll never use them, I wouldn't want them if they were still here, and tbh they'd go wth are you doing?

I don't mean anything keepsakey of family heirloom. I've filled my house with things that arent my style and serve no purpose other than getting in my way and genuinely being a storage fire hazard.

I don't know, guess I just need somebody to say it's ok to get rid of it? I know they would so why am I lingering?

Hi girl did you hear me when I was humming the tune of Taotao series? I just checked that it's actually quite old tv show it was made like 40 years ago so much older than us but not quite as old as mom. Maybe you know everything now, or you have easy access to all knowledge or something idk. I bet you even understand English! Yeah I know you knew a few words! You had VERY good memory. I can't believe that the disease that's supposed to make you a lot less intelligent didn't have that effect on you😂 badass. I'm not doing too good here. It's boring without you, and I still haven't met anyone who has your sense of humor. And confidence. Guess what I actually haven't read stories to anyone else. That was our thing and I think I wanna keep it that way. Now I can say some things so yeah I actually got quite attached to you when you were a baby. Sometimes I wanted you to be MY baby and not our mom's xD. I had no idea how powerful mind you would have. And although you became blind, you saw more than most people see. I'm so grateful to have known you, you literally taught me how powerful a woman, or a human in general, can be. Thank you for being you, showing that you can say no I don't like that or ewww or that's stupid or he's/she's stupid. There are so few women who are as unapologetic as you, and most of them learn that very late in life. Anyway THANK YOU BADASS BITCH ROCKSTAR!!!💝🧚🏻‍♀️

I lost my mum when I was 17 years old, and before then it was me, her and my older brother living together. After she passed away my grandparents immediately wanted her body brought to her birth country (in Africa), and being 17 and my brother being 21 at the time our protests fell on deaf ears. At the time I was emotionally paralyzed and to this day I barely remember flying to the funeral and the days afterwards, but almost four years later I’m coming to terms with how hard it is to not be able to visit her grave here.

I’ve never had a strong relationship with my grandparents, as they never came to visit my mum here in the UK, but to think in a decade and a half no one will be able to constantly maintain the upkeep of my mum’s gravesite drives me insane. I understand that my mum is also their firstborn daughter and they are grieving just as hard as me, but they also went against her wishes to be cremated when she passed.

I’m considering buying a headstone to at least have something that can bring me comfort, but I’m still heartbroken. If anyone has gone through anything similar or could share some kind words I’d greatly appreciate it.

I just turned 19 a few days ago and my mom's death anniversary is also near. I lost her when I was 11. When I can't do anything right I grieve the version of me that I could have been if I didn't lose her. She would've guided me and maybe she would have been my best friend. Grief never really leaves for me it just manifests and integrates itself in our lives forever. Every small thing reminds me of her, when I trip I remember how clumsy she was, when I sing I remember her dancing to my young self singing. I find it so unfair that she was taken from me. She wasn't bad, she was a doctor and yet she died in the place she dedicated her life to. I'll never be okay, I think a part of me died with her that day and it will never fill up.

my birthday lands the day before my mom’s and this year is my second birthday without her so obviously i’m not a fan of my birthday. this year especially since we had planned to go to new orleans but ofc we can’t do that anymore and i decided i just don’t want to celebrate this year and i told my sister this and she got very upset with me making me feel selfish? i don’t understand what im doing wrong here i had 19 birthdays i spent with my mom we made it into a joint celebration so yeah im not gonna want to do anything. i dont know why im the bad guy here for hating my birthday right now but whatever i guess.

Tomorrow will be my mom’s 1 year anniversary. It’s hard to believe all this time has passed. Last year on this day, I was convincing my mom to go to the hospital and that was our last conversation together. I miss everything about her & my mind can’t comprehend that I’ll be spending the rest of my life without her. There’s just so many things she she’ll be missing and I hate that she won’t ever get to experiencing them. Just some thing I wanted to get off my chest

My partner just lost his dad to cancer, he was fighting for a long time and spent his last 4 days in the hospital. Now my partner is not only dealing with this loss but is also losing his housing and is dealing with dozens of estranged relatives that certainly don’t have his or his late father’s best interest in mind (they were in his house riffling through his things before he was dead etc) I am lucky enough to have never experienced tragedy like this and don’t know how to best support him. It feels like there is so much on his plate and I don’t even know where to begin helping. He is also the type that doesn’t ask for help and I don’t know what to offer.

I’m 22 and lost my mom last year, and my sister is wanting to have a wedding and is starting to plan everything. I know I should be happy and excited for her, and I know it’s unfair to her, but I honestly can’t help but feel miserable whenever the wedding gets brought up.

I’m just so fucking angry and upset that my mom isn’t here and won’t be at the wedding. She won’t get to see my sister get married or be there for any of it, and I can’t stop thinking about that. I don’t even want to talk about the wedding because it just makes me think about her not being there.

I’m also really struggling with the fact that I’ll never see my mom again. Like, ever. The only thing that brings me some comfort is thinking that maybe when I die I’ll see her again, but even then I don’t know what happens after death.
I know my sister deserves to be happy and I don’t want to take that away from her. I just genuinely don’t know how to handle all of this.

The titles says it all really.

My dad was diagnosed with cancer back in Covid. He died last night after a month long stint in hospital with heart failure (a complication of his cancer).

I’ve been at the hospital most days for the past month and stayed with him for 10 hours yesterday. I read him a couple of chapters from the book he used to read us as kids and just stroked his head, held his hand, and told him how much I loved him. Eventually though I decided to leave because I knew he wouldn’t let go while I was in the room. He wouldn’t do that to his kids.

I’m just absolutely gutted for him. Nobody wanted to live more than he did. He also wanted to die at home but we couldn’t make it happen for him because he was too poorly to be moved. I just can’t bear the idea of him being sad or frightened in those final moments. He died with his wife at his side so he wasn’t alone, and she’s been the embodiment of a dutiful, loving wife throughout this whole time. I don’t know what I need to hear, I just need to share my sadness and anxieties I guess and know I’m not alone.

My boyfriend just lost his grandfather. He was in the living room when he received the call and watching him react triggered something in me. I lost my sister and my previous boyfriend in traumatic ways 2 and 3 years ago. I still struggle heavily with this grief. It still fully encompasses me at times. I felt terrible because I was crying because i felt this immense amount of pain for him but I felt like I was reliving being told myself. I felt selfish and stupid and I felt like it wasn’t fair. But I couldn’t control myself. I really want to be there for him but I’m really struggling doing so because I feel like I’m reliving my trauma all over again. He’s very understanding of my feelings and how this is impacting me. I just feel a strong amount of guilt and I don’t know how to navigate this.

I've been a live in caretaker for my grandmother/grandfather while also working for the past 10 years, and my grandfather died last week.

I'm sad he's gone, but I'm also okay? I was always super close with both of them growing up, which is why I volunteered to take care of them. But ever since he's been gone, I've just been fine. I haven't cried. Haven't really thought of him too much besides the times we reminisced together as a family at the funeral and whatnot.

But I'm normally a VERY emotional person. I will cry watching movies, cartoons, playing video games, listening to music, etc on a near daily basis. So the fact that I haven't really had much of an emotional reaction to losing my grandfather, who I AM upset is gone, makes me feel like something is kind of wrong with me. Maybe I just handle death well. But why would I be fine with the death of loved ones but break down crying at children's cartoons??

I have autism. Maybe that has something to do with it? I don't know.

A friend of mine who's 21 female lives in sweden and she has an abusive family. She faced intense abuse since childhood and has failed multiple attempt(the last one was 3 weeks ago). She needs shelter and urgent help in any way which can help her with her suicidal thoughts and depression. She's not being able to attend her school because of her weak physical and mental health and she doesn't have anyone to take care of her. After her recent attempt, she wasn't allowed to live with her parents because they abuse her so She's temporarily living with her elder sister but She's really stressed because her sister also isnt going to take care of her for long and she's already only living on her own savings(the money she got as student loan). She needs urgent help please if someone could contact me it would be of great help.

I want to add a few more points.

She has seeked health from healthcare multiple times and pills or medicines dont work and she has also tried asking for help multiple times but they dont help with anything and she has no one to take care of her.

Please help we are very desperate she's suicidal every single day.

You can text me or post a comment here to seek more details if you can help in any way possible it wohld mean everything YOU COULD SAVE HER🙏

I feel like the biggest piece of advice I could give to anyone supporting someone who is grieving is to set reminders to check in after six months. By then, people usually have stopped reaching out because they assume enough time has passed for you to have gone "back to normal." But in reality, six months is often the hardest milestone because of how lonely it starts to feel, and the fact that the anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays are all reeling in for the first time. If someone you care about is grieving, set a reminder in your calendar for important dates, and random ones too. Just check in on your person and offer your shoulder, because grief can be so lonely at this point in time. Have you been in a situation where everyone just stopped reaching out after a couple of months?

My dad died at the beginning of the summer. This whole summer has been about grief. Now its the first of September and I feel like time is moving too quickly. Halloween decorations are popping up already. The air is chilling. Things are changing too quickly. I know I need to keep going. I have no choice, I have work and school and responsibilities. I have a life to get back to. I just feel so sad that time keeps moving. I'm getting so far away from him.

I lost my husband (their dad) 2 years ago after a brutal 6-month battle with cancer. This therapist helped my kids so much, esp my son who struggled (struggles) with suicidal ideation. Last week he didn’t show up to an online appointment, which was totally out of character. I feared the worst. Today I found out my fears were right. I‘m hiding this from my kids- they just can’t handle more right now. Maybe I’ll tell them some day. He was a wonderful person and a literal lifesaver. What the fuck is going on.

Hi 👋, my dad died about 4 months ago now & I’ve been feeling extremely lonely lately.

To give some context, everyone in my family feels differently about my dad passing away. For example, it seems like only my sister, my mom, & I, are actually sad about it, meanwhile everyone else has moved on or didn’t actually care. There’s a reason for that but I don’t want to go into much detail as to why because I don’t wanna speak badly of the dead lol.

Anyway, with that said, I don’t feel comfortable talking to my mom or sister. My mom has never been a good support system for me so I didn’t even bother and with my sister, it just feels awkward.

Therefore, I have been feeling extremely lonely. No one to relate to, no one that understands me deeply, etc.

I’m not sure how to make myself feel better?!

Any advice?!

I am already dreading Thanksgiving. My mother passed almost 4 years ago but every Holiday has changed. Not only did I lose her but a huge chunk of my family and a place to go to during the Holidays. My first Thanksgiving was just me and my dog, next 2 have been with some distant family. And while it isn't terrible it just doesn't feel right. I don't feel like I belong there and I really don't want to go anymore. I want to replace it with something else, something that doesn't feel like something is missing or doesn't feel like a pity invite. It's just my 20 yr old son and I and he also doesn't want to go. Starting our own Thanksgiving is not an option, I feel like that would be even more depressing honestly. What changes have you made to your Thanksgiving, any suggestions welcomed!

My dad died 13 years ago when I was 10 years old and I thought I’d share our story.

Very long story short, he suffered from high blood pressure, felt unwell, went to the doctors in a panic and was sent home. Unfortunately, for us, the nurse did not know how to read the scan properly, the next day he was found slumped over in his car at work, miles away from home. An 18 year old retail employee found him, which must’ve been traumatic god bless him.

Later, the police knocked on our door and told us, our whole world crumbled, financial security? ha! Extended family support? You’re joking!
We were well and truly in the shit.

At this time my already existing separation anxiety/abandonment issues went through the roof. Mum couldn’t leave the house without my sister and I begging her to stay.

Anyway, everyone was too preoccupied with their own grief (valid) that we all became quite isolated.
(Of course we did comfort each other etc… but it was a very low point for us all and I was often sent to friends houses so I could experience some sort of normality).

I cried, expressed my emotions etc… but I can only count on one hand how many times I cried in total that year. Some people said ‘she doesn’t know what happened, she’s too young’ bullshit.

I remember distinctively thinking ‘well, he’s gone now, he wouldn’t want me to be upset’, because I knew, if I had died, I wouldn’t want anyone to be upset.

I’ve heard a lot about people repress grief in their younger years and deal with it as adults, but I don’t think that’s happened to me? I don’t know.

I did well and truly grieve, it was the saddest I’ve ever been, absolutely crushing. - I know we all grieve differently but my grief confuses me.

Anyway, the years went on and things got easier, I think about him without getting upset quite frequently, but sometimes I have a bad day and feel so much pain. If I really, really think about it other than casual happy thoughts, I’ll be a mess, I’m still so angry about everything that happened back then. Often times when this happens, I’ll hold back my tears because I don’t want to cry as it’ll just make me even more emotional.

So my question is, how do you healthily process your grief?

Edit: one more thing - oh boy, anticipatory grief is a real bitch, huh? Something about going through such a difficult loss and KNOWING exactly what it’s like seems to make it worse!! My separation anxiety is still really bad - it doesn’t intrude my daily life physically, I don’t prevent anyone from doing anything but in my heart it crushes me. Does anyone have any tips on how to heal from this?

Edit 2: ONE, one last thing (🥲) - I also felt a lot of resentment for those who experienced ‘dreams’ or ‘visitations’ of their loved one. I feel it’s almost an expectation among some people so when you do not experience it, especially as an influenceable child, it can be crushing.

i lost my wonderful mummy/best friend very suddenly in February (20 days after being declared not terminal! and then some stupid common illness took her and i had it too but her body was still too weak) and now i'm losing one of my cats. the cat went for her routine checkup and they noticed her kidneys were enlarged so they did a scan and it turns out her kidneys have completely had it and she has a problem with her liver and heart too. there's nothing they can do. she seems happy at home so the vets are letting her come home until we notice a change but it could be tomorrow, it could be a few months. i hate this, i love Mummy and Applejam so much and it's not fair that they're both being taken from me with nothing i can do to stop it. my faith tells me i'll see them again when it's my time but it's not the point, i want them now. how am i supposed to get through each day knowing another loss is just around the corner? i wish i knew how long i had left, life is quickly becoming a waiting game and i don't want to play it