Every night it’s the same story:

- Full feed, burping and gas stretches
- Dim lights
- Skin to skin cuddles
- Fresh diaper
- Warm sleep sack
- Rocked to sleep in my arms
- Gently laid into bassinet feet first, then head
- Hand on her chest until I see her deep asleep

5 minutes later she’s screaming and will only calm down on my wife’s chest

She’s not too much into pacifiers. White noise doesn’t seem to help much.

Any tips from other dads?

I know each baby is different, but really looking for new ideas, including even renting a Snoo for a month to see if that helps. Issue is she hates her arms in a swaddle so those are always out.

Genuine question, because my kid is eating the same as me, but utterly outclassing me in the toilet. That kid does high-quality shits, and forgets to flush EVERY time.

This post almost started out as a joke, but then i started to think about it...

...and the more i think about it, the more i realize that my poos arent remotely as good, even compared to my own past experience. Hell, if i compare my own current state to myself 5 years ago, i'd say its gone downhill.

I've been chalking it up to the constant gastro infections from daycare, because ive got 2 kids under the age of 4. I'm not saying my shits are always bad... but i don't remember the last time I described one of my own shits as "high-quality".

I feel like this could be just a phase due to daycare illnesses, but... honestly, what would i even tell a doctor? that my poos dont spak joy for me anymore?!

Does defecation just get worse with age?

Newborn, 8 days in. Wife is having issues breastfeeding, we havent done more than an hour since the hospital because the latch hurts her. Milk production has been low.

We have seen a lactation consultant and pediatrician which all say latch issues are from a tongue tie. We are seeing an ent for a consultation tomorrow.

I'm hesitant to proceed with this surgery. I've read how it can create more problems, causing sensitivity when eating and read horror stories about babies who have seen rapid weight loss from essentially refusing to eat post surgery.

I also dont see the point. I get my wife wants to breast feed, but our baby has gained weight since leaving the hospital, almost back to birth weight, and averaging 16-20oz per day on bottles. I dont think ive seen someone chug like that since college.

Why mess with bottle feeding when it is working so we can try something that you may not like? Her niece had no tongue tie, was breast fed for 2 weeks before her sister was like f this, and went to bottles.

To add, both my wife and I were fed as kids on formula only and both turned out healthy. I get the motherly instinct to breastfeed but neither of us did. If production picks up, let's pour it into a bottle.

Worst case scenario, I could see us proceeding with a surgery, her deciding breast feeding isnt for her and want to do bottles, us back pedaling, and our baby being in pain and not taking back to the bottle, introducing a sleuth of serious problems.

Does anyone have experience with tongue tie, how did the procedure go, what was your motivation for getting it? Would you get one if your only reason was breast feeding comfort but baby was otherwise fine with a bottle and gaining weight?

Our daughter is 2.5 and it feels like the ability to do anything has progressively disappeared. I really enjoy being a dad but I can’t do anything on my own anymore, and my health is paying the price. I can’t exercise, can’t get enough sleep, can’t recharge, hobbies are all dwindling. I’m not sure I’d do this again if I knew it would be like this even with as much as I love my daughter. I didn’t realize being a dad would be the only thing I was within a few years.

thanks.

Edit: thank you for all of the advice. Recently went to the doctor and have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and prediabetic. I’ve never had any problems with any of that stuff and now I drop into bed completely spent every day. I have no idea when I’d work out, unless I started getting up at 3am.

This has been very validating, thank you again.

Fellow dads, I need some guidance from the council. Usually by this time of the morning, I have successfully deflected all household logistical failures onto someone else, but today I am struggling and it feels deeply unnatural.

First of all, let us look at the sheer operational volume here. I have three kids to get ready and launched into the world every morning. That is pure zone defense against chaos. Getting two out of three kids completely equipped and out the door is a solid sixty seven percent success rate. In Major League Baseball, hitting at that rate gets you into the Hall of Fame on the first ballot. In morning parenting, it clearly means the remaining thirty three percent of failure belongs to someone else.

Here is the sequence of events leading to this morning collapse:

Last night, my wife had the absolute nerve to plug my daughter iPad into the charger. You know, making sure it was at full battery for school. Truly unhinged behavior.

Fast forward to this morning. I perform my fatherly inspection, look straight past the glaring iPad shaped void in the backpack, zip it up, and proudly send my daughter off at our bus stop.

I stroll back home victorious, walk into the kitchen, and there it is. The iPad. Sitting on the counter at one hundred percent battery, mocking me and my entire lineage.

Cue an Olympic level sprint down the sidewalk in my morning attire to intercept the school bus at its final neighborhood stop two blocks away. I am breathing heavily, handing the tablet through the bus doors like an undercover operative delivering classified documents. Crisis resolved, but at what cost to my dignity and cardiovascular health?

Now comes the real dilemma. As a longtime internet user, taking personal accountability is completely out of line with forum protocol. I feel weird not blaming someone else.

Do I blame my wife? If she had not responsibly charged the device, it would have stayed safely packed where it belonged. Her proactive parenting directly sabotaged my morning checklist.

Also, was running two blocks even my responsibility? Should I have called my wife at her office, demanded she take emergency unpaid leave, drive all the way back home, retrieve the tablet, and hand deliver it to the school principal? By handling it myself in under five minutes, did I rob her of a valuable growth opportunity?

Or do I blame our daughter for being enrolled in an educational system that requires modern technology?

How do I go about demanding a formal written apology from the rest of the household for the cardio they forced upon me today? Please advise.

Fellow dads, I am drowning in diapers and completely out of the loop.

I’ve got a 1-month-old, a 3-year-old, and a 5-year-old. My brain is basically scrambled eggs right now. I’ve been playing fantasy football for 10 years and usually spend all August obsessing over depth charts, but this year I genuinely haven't tracked a single off-season move. (Pretty sure I thought Mike Evans was on the Bucs until five minutes ago).
Draft is this Friday night and I have zero prep time between bedtime routines and 2 AM feedings.

What’s your go-to low-effort prep strategy? Any single-page cheat sheets, tier lists, or draft kit links you swear by that I can digest in 15 minutes while hiding in the bathroom?

Trying to pick out a back to school creative gift for my 10year old that encourages hands-on building away from YouTube. Most craft sets marketed to kids feel like cheap plastic junk that breaks instantly while adult DIY miniature sets have tiny razor blades and superglue that require 100% parent supervision.

Is there a solid middle-ground building kit that offers a real challenge without being totally impossible for them?

“Do you know how easy this is for me? Do you have any fucking idea how easy this is? This is a fucking joke! And I'm sorry you can't do this, I really am because I wouldn't have to fucking sit here and watch you fumble around and fuck it up.”

The speech from Good Will Hunting comes to mind almost every time we interact.

So, I'm very comfortable as a rational physical materialist.. But I've also learned that the world is both larger and smaller than it seems, and funny shit happens sometimes.

Well, we connected today. Things have been a mess... marriage is bad, dad's dying, I just got randomly laid off, and jr. is starting college... and my extended family, who I've allowed to creep back into our lives over the last 15 years or so, and who live near jr.'s new school, have decided to go back to huffing leaded gasoline exhaust or something. We'd almost gotten back to full on "everyone's on speaking terms" levels of familial bliss... But the ergot poisoning has apparently resumed. Other stuff too... lol.. I can't possibly list it all.. even just plans for the trip wouldn't stick.. the entire agenda and schedule changed literally the day we were supposed to leave... 🤷

You know when you're fucking something up, and everything you try to do is a problem? But before you realize you're fucking up, it just feels like you're having shit luck? I was starting to think this wasn't supposed to be working.

But then we actually got to school... no family, no other bullshit... This place is fucking awesome. This is exactly where she's supposed to be. Everything gets settled in, she meets s ton of people, all of a sudden, everything works. I can exhale for the first time in about a week.

Fast forward to tonight. It's the first day of class... In her evening seminar, she looks up at the teacher and he's wearing a tee shirt from the local bar in this tiny little town in Colorado where she went to high school. Next town over from where we live... Population, maybe 1,100? 🤦😂

I know it only means something to two people on the planet, but the world sure can make a person feel down right welcome sometimes.

Other times, less so... but not today.. yet. 😉

The answer is The Sleepover S01E39 and it’s not even close. But I do have two more seasons to watch

I’ve listened through a bunch of sister-related Spotify playlists. Most of the songs seem like they could possibly apply to sisters, but are in no way specific about it. My 4yo has a baby sister now and I’m looking for something a bit more obvious, perhaps even containing the word “sister”. Something about teamwork, trust, love, even getting into trouble together would be great.

A sibling is someone who is (hopefully) going to be in your life a whole lot longer than your parents, and is likely one of the people you can most relate to, so I’m surprised that I’m not easily finding what I’m looking for. Help me out? I’m open to cartoon kids songs, adult songs of any genre, anything to help suggest that this wiggly vomiting potato might be my little girl’s best friend eventually.

Hey fellow dads. I noticed another post where a dad said he was tired of being treated like a predator or threat. I generally feel the same way and I feel like the only change is how I carry myself anymore. I volunteered to help coach my daughters youth soccer team and I sure was nervous at first, afraid of the predator label, I avoided any contact with the girls. Over time though, they started hanging on me and touching me and I still am very uncomfortable, but it has put me at ease. So much so that the other day one of the girls fell and I actually just grabbed her torso and stood her up real quick. No issues.

The point of my post is that I think that the more time we spend with kids, that aura wears off, I genuinely think its about 50% in our own heads.

Picked up my daughter from My Gym today. It's a little bridge camp we put her in between summer camp ending and school starting.

I walk in the door and before I've taken three steps, a staff member basically cuts me off: "What are you doing here?" Not "Hi, can I help you?" Not "Who are you here for?" And right on cue, I get the death-stare from the gaggle of moms in the lobby.

I tell her that I'm here to pick up my daughter.

She goes, "Well, which one is she then?" Like I'm about to fail a pop quiz and prove I'm the predator she's already decided I am.

I say my daughter's name. And at that exact moment my kid spots me through the interior window of the studio next door, and she SCREAMS "DADDY!" and comes sprinting to the glass.

Case closed. But nobody apologized. No "oh sorry about that." Just an awkward reset like nothing happened.

I'm not naive — I get that these places are trying to keep kids safe, and I'll never be mad at anyone for actually protecting children. But there's a difference between a security protocol and treating every man who walks through the door like a suspect until proven innocent. I'm a big guy — 6'3", 240, facial hair. And I've noticed the bigger and more "dad-shaped" you are, the faster people's brains jump straight to threat.

I've got a bunch of friends who are dads with the same stories. Getting side-eyed at the park. Getting asked "are those YOUR kids?" at the pool. One buddy got followed around a Target by an employee because he was buying kids' clothes. Alone. For his own kids.

I love being a dad. It's the best thing I've ever done. But I'm tired of the baseline assumption that a man in a kid space is dangerous until a screaming toddler personally vouches for him.

Anyone else dealing with this? How do you handle it without either losing your cool or just quietly eating it every time?

I (27) am becoming increasingly broody as I enter my late twenties. I’m a gay man, and for some reason - have always pictured myself entering parenthood alone. Not with a partner, despite having been in relationships. I guess that’s some sort of limiting belief around healthy relationships. But nonetheless, I’ve always felt prepared to become a single Dad.

I’ve always aspired to be a parent.
At 16 I wrote my future child a letter, telling them how important they’ll be to me and how much I want them in my life. I still have that letter somewhere.

I guess the idea of parenthood meets my need to nurture.

I have lots to work through and achieve before I bring a new life into this world.

I’m far from ready, but I can’t deny the intensity to which I yearn for being a father. It feels like a big part of my purpose.

Any advice or words of wisdom?

I know I just need to talk about it with my wife but I’m still processing my feelings so I can talk appropriately and not be accusatory. Anyway…

I feel like my wife is way too cavalier with tv. It’s like, whenever she’s on “primary parent” duty she’s either letting him roam and in her phone, or turning on Elmo or one of her shows on the big tv.

In the grand scheme of things, my 1.5 year old isn’t actually getting much “screen time” and I know it’s fine. But it feels like I’m trying to engage on the floor with him or just watch him while he plays or anything I can to avoid having screens involved.

I’m not perfect. I’m on my phone too much. But I’m also the one doing every morning even weekends while she sleeps in. And every late night when she works.

Today my wife worked late. I left work early to pick kiddo up from daycare. We got home, we played on the floor, I made him dinner, then played some more. Prepped dinner for wife and I.

Had a gut feeling she wouldn’t be home by the time she said to watch him while I cook then do yard work. So I put the kid in the backpack carrier and mowed the lawn. Did some work in the garden. Came back inside and talked to wife while she drove back (kiddo is not happy he can hear but not see mom). She gets home an hour past she originally said. And immediately it’s “let’s watch some tv, mom needs to decompress”

So do I! But guess what. He needs no screens. He needs you to engage with him and then put him to bed while I cook a late dinner. Instead I’ll cook this dinner then put the kid to bed while she eats then she’ll leave for her evening stuff and I’ll do dishes and maybe find time to read some tonight.

I’m just venting. This isn’t every day. I know my brain is blowing it up. But damn I’m frustrated with it tonight.

My 2-year-old daughter has woken up for the second day in a row with her poor pointer finger wrapped around her hair. She soothes by hair twirling and we think she’s doing it when she wakes up in the morning. This morning, when my wife went in to get her at 6:30, she said her finger looked almost purple.

I’m really concerned about bedtime tonight. We could put her hair up, but she usually pulls it out of buns and ponytails so she can twirl it.

Any other daddit dads dealt with this before and have some suggestions for me?

Any advice? Would like start with shorter domestic flights and then to longer international flights. What advice do you guys have to offer? What’s the stroller situation? What if they get fussy on the plane?

Here’s a unique perspective of a 24 year old son looking for advice from his 66 year old father. He is building up the courage to have this conversation next week:

Hey Dad,

I could really use some help with something on my heart.
I would like to start off by saying I love you so much. I know that I don’t say it as much but I truly mean it. You have taught me so much in life, from learning how to walk to throwing a baseball to earning a hard day’s wage. I truly admire you as a hardworking father, as a friend to laugh with, and as a someone who loves me. You care for me so deeply and now that I am mature and old enough I can see life very clearly. Thank you for being tough on me. Thank you for being honest and strong for your youngest child. Thank you for never giving up. Thank you for everything dad. I love you.

One day, I hope to live a life exactly like yours. I truly admire your life. I would love to have a family of my own with a nice sized home living in a beautiful city and working hard for my money. I hope to earn a paycheck and come home to my wife knowing she loves me. When I grow old, I would hope that my life closely resembles yours.

I need to talk about something that has been eating away at my heart recently. I need help. I need advice. I feel a lot right now in my life and I can’t seem to find the best words to express how I feel, so I just need to write them out. My thoughts obscure my thinking and I could use an outsider’s perspective on something that truly matters to me. I don’t care if this is awkward. I don’t care if this makes me cry or uncomfortable. This is my truth.

The truth is, I am stuck. I feel very stuck in life. I’m stuck in between two very hard choices. One of these choices concerns you.

Now, I don’t want it to feel dramatic or anything, like I said this is my truth. I am coming to you for guidance. This decision means a lot to me and I cannot continue to bottle it up. Could you please try to think not as my boss, but as my loving father. Please try to forget about work for a second and help me decide if I am seeing life from a clear view.

Okay here goes: the truth is that my heart tells me to move back to Sacramento to go continue to pursue a strong relationship with Emmia. She’s very special to me and I can’t help but think that she actually has potential to become my wife one day. Now, I know what you may be thinking, “That’s awesome papa! But what about the business?” Again, please try to think as my father. Yes you are very right. I am earning a very good paycheck here in San Francisco with both NorCal AND Continental. You have been teaching me patiently how to fix appliances and have even gave me the opportunity to earn a little more money. I am learning a trade that was once passed onto you before and has made you successful in life. I am so grateful for this opportunity Papa and I want you to really know how much it has grown me these last few years. Thank you. I can’t imagine how my life would have turned out if I didn’t pursue a career with you. Now, this is bigger than just a paycheck. This is about my love life.

Do you think it is wise to leave San Francisco, my family, my career with NorCal, my side business with Continental, and my comfort for a girl? Is it crazy to say I am willing to sacrifice what I have established here in San Francisco for something that is unstable in Sacramento?

My mind tells me it is wise to stay. Why give into your heart? Give up on this “dream girl” and stay to help your father retire, to aid in your family’s transition into elderly life, stay focused on the family that has raised you rather than creating a family from scratch. My mind tells me to work hard on building up an empire with the family business and eventually get a partner that will want to stay in the Bay Area instead of far from home.

My heart, on the other end, tells me that I will feel empty in such a big city. My heart tells me to follow it to Sacramento where my lover resides in. My heart tells me to love this woman with all I got and to not look back at San Francisco. My heart tells me that I forgot someone in Sacramento, and the only way I will ever find it fulfilled is when I marry her. My heart tells me to start anew and attempt to create my own reality, my own future filled with curly headed kids and a beautiful loving wife. My heart tells me that it’s okay to not know what the future holds and to trust it will all figure itself out. My heart tells me to risk everything for so little.

Honestly, if I didn’t allow myself to give it some deep consideration, I would have left already. Sometimes though, the heart is deceiving. The heart does not truly wants what’s best for you long term and only chases the short term effects until it is onto its next prey. This is why I am seeking advice from you. This is why I am burdening you by putting you into my perspective. What would you do if you were me? Would you turn your back away from family in pursuit of starting your own? Would you give into your selfish desires and allow your parents to grow older as the days go by? Or would you have one of the worst conversations you could ever have with the one person you had a decent chance at marrying one day? Would you develop yourself and aid in your family’s health by sticking by their sides, staying loyal to the same people who were there at your worst?

Now that I have spilled every tear possible into this discussion, I leave the conversation open to your suggestions. Like the punk rock Singer Mick Jones would ask, “Should I Stay or Should I Go?”

The one thing I(25m) was terrified of while this journey started is that I didn’t want to miss my first child’s birth. But it looks like it’s happening now. I honestly feel like I’m a failure and having a bad start as a dad and a husband.

It kills me everyday from within that I can’t do anything about this situation, and I have nobody to talk to about it. My wife has been supportive and says it’s okay but I just can’t digest the fact that I’ll miss being there for my first new born.

My wife(24f) is in South Asia and I’m in the states working on a non-immigrant visa.

She isn’t getting an appointment thx to the major changes in immigration rules and is running out of time as she cannot travel after September.

I’m unable to take off as my company won’t let me and she’s due in late November.

The earliest I can travel back to South Asia to see my kid is in feb and I just can’t help but wait that long

Did any of the dads go through this? How did you all deal with it? Any tips?

It’s 1:36 am where I am and I can’t sleep due to all of this on my mind, so I need to get this off my chest and hopefully get some advice from the greatest sub on Reddit. I apologize for the wall of text.

I lost my job back in June. I had a severance package, but that paid the bills like normal up until the beginning of this month. I was, what I thought, a surefire candidate for a job I had been interviewing for for 2 months but I was notified a few weeks ago that I did not get that job. It would have been life changing, but now it’s changed my life for the worse. We are running thin on funds and I’ve been doing everything I can to try to find a full time day job, but McDonald’s won’t even take me in to flip burgers for whatever reason. I do have a part time evening job, but I’m using as many hours as I can there and there’s not much more they can do for me outside of what they’re already doing.

Here’s where I need the help. I uprooted my family from our home state roughly 5 years ago, and I have an opportunity to go back to the company I left in our home state. It’s great money, the opportunities for me there are huge, and I would be able to provide for my family in the way they deserve. I honestly never should have left that company, because everything that has come for me after has been an absolute disaster. The problem is, my wife and kids are doing very well in our new state. My wife is thriving at her job, and my kids are finally in a school where they enjoy learning and it’s a school that really fits their learning style. I have two options that I’m weighing here: 1) I uproot them (again) and we move back to our home state. This would mean taking them away from an environment where all three of them are doing well in, and placing them in a situation that may not match what they have now. We would be in the same area as my family, but I don’t think it’s fair that I do that to them again. Which leads me to option 2) I move up there alone, work my ass off in overtime Monday through Friday, they stay here and thrive, and I visit every opportunity I can (likely every weekend but potentially every other weekend due to overtime requirements, holidays, and 2 weeks at Christmas. Cost wouldn’t be a factor because I wouldn’t care about how much it costs me to make that happen).

As it stands right now, I already don’t see them except for the mornings and the weekends. Not much would change, I just wouldn’t drop them off at school and I wouldn’t be sleeping in the house. I just wouldn’t be physically near them during the week. I’ve had coworkers who did this at the job I’m possibly going back to, and it’s worked out for them very well, though I understand not everyone’s situations are the same.

If you were me, what would you do? What advice do you have for me? This is weighing pretty heavily on me right now and I don’t want to fuck up again.

Edit: I should have added that I have had the option 2 conversation already and she is at the point of “what other option do we realistically have?” I have not looped the kids in to get their opinion, and that may open option 1 up if everyone is comfortable with that but I doubt that’s gonna be on the table. They are happy here.

I got an oura ring a few months before my son (kid #2) was due as I was interested to see what tangible changes in my health/ sleep might show up. It’s been fun at 3am to check my stats and be reminded of my total sleep debt and be told how stressed I am! 🤣

Even though we‘re all fine and healthy, I miss my two year old every second, at work, at hobbies - like constant.
Deep inside I want to quit everything else in my life just to spend the max. amount of time with her.
I know, sounds crazy - won’t do that.
But does it get better from time to time?
I am really struggling to for example play tennis once a week because that’s time I could spend with her.
It drives me nuts sometimes to get my ass up and actually go to work when she’s at home.
Can anyone else relate?

Hi! mom here, but looking for advice for dad. our daughter is 10.5 months and I'm the one who's been putting her to sleep her whole life and I would like her dad to be able to do it as well so I can have a break. have any of you done this or transitioned into putting your baby to bed? when he tries she seems to cry and want me because that's what she's used to. any tips, tricks, or mindsets would be greatly appreciated!!

I've read the tales, I've consulted the oracle, and yet I'm still shocked at just how fast she got a cold. Y'all weren't lying when you said it hits hard and fast....but she just started 3 weeks ago 🤯

Hey y’all,

I’m a father to a now 1 year old. I am struggling as both mother and I work (I’m in an office job and she’s a kindergarten teacher now team lead) but he keeps constantly getting sick in daycare. Our pediatrician warned us this would happen often but when it does happen one of us has to take work off. The daycare he attends has strict sickness protocols so theoretically when a child has a fever or something, they shouldn’t go in and yet every 2-3 weeks it’s vomiting and fever. We both have sick days (I’m down to a few left or so and she has 10 I think). I guess my main issue is that with him getting sick as often as and one of us taking off work, I’m again that one of us will lose our jobs. I have heard many stories of people getting laid off for less so I am very anxious about that.