Picked up my daughter from My Gym today. It's a little bridge camp we put her in between summer camp ending and school starting.

I walk in the door and before I've taken three steps, a staff member basically cuts me off: "What are you doing here?" Not "Hi, can I help you?" Not "Who are you here for?" And right on cue, I get the death-stare from the gaggle of moms in the lobby.

I tell her that I'm here to pick up my daughter.

She goes, "Well, which one is she then?" Like I'm about to fail a pop quiz and prove I'm the predator she's already decided I am.

I say my daughter's name. And at that exact moment my kid spots me through the interior window of the studio next door, and she SCREAMS "DADDY!" and comes sprinting to the glass.

Case closed. But nobody apologized. No "oh sorry about that." Just an awkward reset like nothing happened.

I'm not naive — I get that these places are trying to keep kids safe, and I'll never be mad at anyone for actually protecting children. But there's a difference between a security protocol and treating every man who walks through the door like a suspect until proven innocent. I'm a big guy — 6'3", 240, facial hair. And I've noticed the bigger and more "dad-shaped" you are, the faster people's brains jump straight to threat.

I've got a bunch of friends who are dads with the same stories. Getting side-eyed at the park. Getting asked "are those YOUR kids?" at the pool. One buddy got followed around a Target by an employee because he was buying kids' clothes. Alone. For his own kids.

I love being a dad. It's the best thing I've ever done. But I'm tired of the baseline assumption that a man in a kid space is dangerous until a screaming toddler personally vouches for him.

Anyone else dealing with this? How do you handle it without either losing your cool or just quietly eating it every time?

“Do you know how easy this is for me? Do you have any fucking idea how easy this is? This is a fucking joke! And I'm sorry you can't do this, I really am because I wouldn't have to fucking sit here and watch you fumble around and fuck it up.”

The speech from Good Will Hunting comes to mind almost every time we interact.

I did not expect this to make me emotional. We picked out this bed as a family, and while she is at school her mom and I put it together to surprise her. When we were done I realized this is a little girls room not a toddlers room. My baby girl is growing up too fast.

This thing pulls outward into a double wide, so not terrible. But I am 6' and this couch thing is like 5' 9". You're the only group I get to complain about this to, everything else is rightfully about mama.

We packed things for action, but unfortunately we're just bored waiting around and didn't bring any games. Even if I had my Switch 1 we could play Mario Cart. Being bored was not something I was prepared for. The first kid was pure anxiety from start to finish. Luckily the gift shop had a deck of cards.

TLDR: My oldest daughter fabricated wild lies about me to her school counselor, and got CPS and law enforcement called on me. Then admitted she lied, and didn't care one bit about it.

This is long, so forgive me... and it is mainly just me getting stuff off my chest since this is something my wife and I aren't wanting to broadcast openly IRL... but fuck, fellow dads.

I have 3 kids - my 16yo stepson, 11yr old daughter, and 5yr old daughter.

My 5yr old daughter has multiple brain tumors (benign, thank God), and she is going through chemotherapy for it because one of the tumors is on her optic nerve and when it started growing, she began to lose eye sight. It was also pushing on her pituitary gland and causing her to grow as much in 3 months as she is supposed to in an entire year. She's been in treatment for several months now, and the tumors are already shrinking.

But, as you all could imagine, she gets a LOT of attention. She constantly gets care packages in the mail; people are always checking in on her; companies and organizations send her stuff, etc etc.

This has caused issues with my 11yr old, understandably. She feels left out. We put in honest effort to do extra things with her, but it does get a bit time restrictive because one full day a week is for chemo treatment, then the next day is a recovery day where our youngest daughter is dealing with nausea and fatigue... I'm in school taking 20 credit hours a semester on top of working, and my wife works full time. But we still do our best to take her out on one-on-one sushi lunch dates, or taking her to Comic-Cons (she's in to anime and Kpop)... we're splurging to take her to a Katseye concert and staying in a nice hotel over night, we signed her up for Hip Hop dance classes and take her weekly... I mean, we try to do as much as we can to make up for her feeling left out.

She's told us she would like to start seeing a therapist for her mental health, and we have been looking... but just about everywhere is either not taking new patients, won't answer the phone or call back, or won't take my insurance. It's been a struggle, but we've been trying.

Friday I had to drive out of town, and my phone went in to Do Not Disturb mode, so I didn't know I got a phone call until I got to my destination. It was my daughter's counselor, and she left a voicemail saying she wanted to talk to me about some "concerning information" my daughter told her. At this point it was well after school and business hours. We tried to call her on Monday, but she didn't answer. We had also already set up an appointment with our PCP so that maybe he could send us in the right direction... and he had us take her to a 24/7 mental health clinic yesterday. They set us up with an appointment with a therapist in a few weeks.

Then... we get a phone call from CPS a few hours later telling us they need to come by.

The CPS lady comes over, and you can tell she is intentionally refraining from looking at me, and is putting 98% of her focus while speaking to my wife, only briefly shifting her gaze to me for like half a second here and there. She finally looks at me after quite some time and says, "I'm going to be honest, there are allegations in this report about you that are incredibly serious. Hardcore stuff. I will let you know the Sheriff's Department has also been informed, and they will be conducting their own investigation."

My daughter told her school counselor that she is terrified to come home because of me... that I make her feel suicidal. She claims I get in her face and scream and have spit flying all over her face. She told them that I body slam my stepson and stomp on him while he's on the ground. She claims she's had broken bones and I've refused to take her to the doctors and make her suffer instead.

It blew my fucking mind. Like, I seriously had no idea how to even react. I raise my tone when the kids are misbehaving and not listening, but I sure as hell don't scream, much less get in anyone's face. I've "popped" her butt one time, and that was like 5 years ago and was the only time in her life... and it was a weak pop at that. My stepson is the same damn size as me and is a high school wrestler, where as I'm partially disabled and old... I'm sure as hell not capable of body slamming him and stomping on him even *if* I was a psycho like that. The worst punishments any of them get is having their electronics taken away, and even then I feel bad and give in after like 1 full day when we told them it would be for a week. Anytime my daughter has complained of being hurt, we have her at the doctor's the very next day. She has had heart-to-heart talks with me well past bedtime many, many times... and I'm always an open ear, and listen to her, and talk with her. I'm not an overly affectionate dad, but I do show love openly, and I definitely don't come anywhere close to even being mean. I walk her to the bus every morning and hug her and tell her I love her and to have a good day. Anytime she asks for something, I do it if I can. Anytime she says, "Daddy, can we talk?" I say absolutely.

I just do not get it. It breaks my heart that my daughter would feel the need to make up such insane, hurtful lies about me being this absolute monster. Not even just lies, but shit that could get me arrested and/or her taken from us.

The CPS lady did talk to my stepson, my 5 year old, and me and my wife. She admitted, "I'm going to talk to your daughter now, and be honest with her that this just isn't adding up. I see abusive households all the time, and this definitely is not one of them". When she came back downstairs about 10 minutes later, she said my daughter admitted to making it all up... but tried to claim her brother told her to say it all. But then after the CPS lady left, she admitted to my wife that that was a lie, too.

The only silver lining in this is that the CPS lady told us the way she is going to write the report should shut everything down, and the law most likely won't even bother contacting me now... but it's still possible. Regardless, the damage is done.

I told my daughter that I need space from her for "some time" and let her know how much it hurt me that she would just blatantly lie like that. My wife, who never cries, was in tears and told her how hurt she is. My daughter just stared blankly at us, and didn't seem to give one single fuck. She just walked off and went to bed.

Sucks, bros. Send good vibes, please. I have a lot of schoolwork today, so not sure how often I'll be able to reply to anything, but thanks for taking the time to even just read this.

For me, I’m so tired of always being the one who checks up on family and friends while no one checks up on me.

I hate that removing the TV is the ultimate "grounding" for my kid.

And I hate doing countdowns all the time.

So, my 4-soon-to-be-5-year-old son is great; sometimes I think I'm complaining from a place of privilege. But damn, I hate that one of the few things that work with the kid is taking out the TV.

We let him watch 2 hours at most per day. One in the morning and one at night, with selected cartoons. It's clocked; the TV turns off after 1 hour.

Last week, at the beginning of the week, I noticed he was exhibiting a behavior that had already happened before. Stubbornness as hell; you agree with one thing, but when it's time, he starts with excuses. "I didn't have time", "it's too soon, bath takes too long", talking over you, and so on. And guys, everything is talked through; it's not like a 5-minute talk. I do everything by the book too: keep firm, don't scream, lower myself to talk at the same level, when it's right I compliment, positive reinforcement, explain the why. I don't just order him around — the consequence comes after I validate that I know he wanted more time to play or whatever. He just talks over, keeps repeating, and so on. I had to drag him to the shower a couple of times because he kept discussing, and he was going to make his mother late for work. The same behavior happened in his extracurricular activities.

On Wednesday, we received a note from the school. The same thing. He wasn't doing what was agreed upon. I had talked with him the whole week. Sometimes he just stares at me with defiance, listening but not caring.

I talked with his mother and decided to take his TV off until the weekend at least. Then he cared. He improved the next day; we complimented all the good behaviors, and on Monday, by coincidence or not, in the same extracurricular activity where he was disrupting the class the previous week, he received a medal, the best one in that class.

It's a fucking cycle with the TV. I don't like taking it out; he is an only child, we live in an apartment, so not so much space, he has a lot of toys, we don't have all the time to play with him, but we really try our best. And I think it's ok to have TV for 2 hours, spaced out, but I don't know; I feel it affects him too much.

Anyways guys, just wanted to vent about it.

Hey guys, we signed our son up for his first youth soccer team through a local youth sports program. We found out late last week that our team still hadn't been assigned a head coach which meant no practice or games until that role was filled. I reached out yesterday and said if there were no volunteers, that I'd be happy to help out.

The league said in their email that they'd be sending resources to help coaches figure out what to do, but it was pretty much all CYA safety training stuff meant for older/more competitive leagues.

My last experience with soccer was ~25 years ago when I played on a youth league. I have not watched any soccer at all since, so I have essentially no knowledge.

I know it's a casual league so expectations are low, but I have genuinely no idea where to start, and practice is this afternoon lol. If you have any suggestions, I'd appreciate them!

Edit to add: This is for a 6-year old league! Should be very casual, but I'd still like it to be beneficial with teaching skills and somewhat structured

This Sub seems like most of it's traffic is about how to deal with the crisis of parenthood and how to deal with all of the complexities and challenges that come up.

And yeah, we need that. Having a kid completely transforms your life and your marriage, and not in easy ways... but oh my god, for me at least it is worth it a thousand times over.

I have what, by most standards, is a pretty challenging kid (special needs and medical issues both) but it's amazing to see him in his joy.

I just got him riding his bike without training wheels yesterday, and the level of joy and pride I feel is incredible, it's something it's really hard to communicate. He's started learning to play the drums, and he is *terrible* and honestly it's like the most joyful and moving music I have ever heard.

He's reading "Calvin and Hobbes" now, and loving it, and sees that he's just like Calvin as opposed to most of the media portrayed kids. And he loves it.

Honestly, it feels like creating the universe. And you look at it, and it's good.

I really hope everyone on this sub gets the moments where they look at there kid, and see that someone with a whole life is in there behind those eyes, and realize what an amazing thing it is that they have done.

Fellow dads, I need some guidance from the council. Usually by this time of the morning, I have successfully deflected all household logistical failures onto someone else, but today I am struggling and it feels deeply unnatural.

First of all, let us look at the sheer operational volume here. I have three kids to get ready and launched into the world every morning. That is pure zone defense against chaos. Getting two out of three kids completely equipped and out the door is a solid sixty seven percent success rate. In Major League Baseball, hitting at that rate gets you into the Hall of Fame on the first ballot. In morning parenting, it clearly means the remaining thirty three percent of failure belongs to someone else.

Here is the sequence of events leading to this morning collapse:

Last night, my wife had the absolute nerve to plug my daughter iPad into the charger. You know, making sure it was at full battery for school. Truly unhinged behavior.

Fast forward to this morning. I perform my fatherly inspection, look straight past the glaring iPad shaped void in the backpack, zip it up, and proudly send my daughter off at our bus stop.

I stroll back home victorious, walk into the kitchen, and there it is. The iPad. Sitting on the counter at one hundred percent battery, mocking me and my entire lineage.

Cue an Olympic level sprint down the sidewalk in my morning attire to intercept the school bus at its final neighborhood stop two blocks away. I am breathing heavily, handing the tablet through the bus doors like an undercover operative delivering classified documents. Crisis resolved, but at what cost to my dignity and cardiovascular health?

Now comes the real dilemma. As a longtime internet user, taking personal accountability is completely out of line with forum protocol. I feel weird not blaming someone else.

Do I blame my wife? If she had not responsibly charged the device, it would have stayed safely packed where it belonged. Her proactive parenting directly sabotaged my morning checklist.

Also, was running two blocks even my responsibility? Should I have called my wife at her office, demanded she take emergency unpaid leave, drive all the way back home, retrieve the tablet, and hand deliver it to the school principal? By handling it myself in under five minutes, did I rob her of a valuable growth opportunity?

Or do I blame our daughter for being enrolled in an educational system that requires modern technology?

How do I go about demanding a formal written apology from the rest of the household for the cardio they forced upon me today? Please advise.

The one thing I(25m) was terrified of while this journey started is that I didn’t want to miss my first child’s birth. But it looks like it’s happening now. I honestly feel like I’m a failure and having a bad start as a dad and a husband.

It kills me everyday from within that I can’t do anything about this situation, and I have nobody to talk to about it. My wife has been supportive and says it’s okay but I just can’t digest the fact that I’ll miss being there for my first new born.

My wife(24f) is in South Asia and I’m in the states working on a non-immigrant visa.

She isn’t getting an appointment thx to the major changes in immigration rules and is running out of time as she cannot travel after September.

I’m unable to take off as my company won’t let me and she’s due in late November.

The earliest I can travel back to South Asia to see my kid is in feb and I just can’t help but wait that long

Did any of the dads go through this? How did you all deal with it? Any tips?

I've read the tales, I've consulted the oracle, and yet I'm still shocked at just how fast she got a cold. Y'all weren't lying when you said it hits hard and fast....but she just started 3 weeks ago 🤯

Hey fellow dads. I noticed another post where a dad said he was tired of being treated like a predator or threat. I generally feel the same way and I feel like the only change is how I carry myself anymore. I volunteered to help coach my daughters youth soccer team and I sure was nervous at first, afraid of the predator label, I avoided any contact with the girls. Over time though, they started hanging on me and touching me and I still am very uncomfortable, but it has put me at ease. So much so that the other day one of the girls fell and I actually just grabbed her torso and stood her up real quick. No issues.

The point of my post is that I think that the more time we spend with kids, that aura wears off, I genuinely think its about 50% in our own heads.

Fellow fathers…I feel the need to seek your counsel. I know I’ll get flak from some and I’ll respond by saying I already have the books so no additional profit.

I’d like to introduce my kids to fantasy like Narnia, Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings. I’m sure others will come as Ender’s Game sent me into reading in high school. Has anybody introduced these series to their kids and do you have a suggested order? We all know the reward will be watching movies At some point (4/6 y.o. kids).

Please help me introduce in a way that they find wonder and the flame doesn’t get blown out by unnecessary nightmares.

RIP my back though

I miss cooking.

Since meeting my partner I've had this drive to cook for her, make delicious meals that she loves and to remove the mental load from her day. Before we had our 3mo old I cooked nearly every meal (bar takeaways/eating out) for the 4 odd years we have lived together. I did it for her, but also for me.

It became a nightly ritual, she'd decompress with some TV and I'd decompress by making something new for dinner or just by making it from scratch. When tomatoes were cheap I'd roast them in the oven, blend them into a sauce with homemade meatballs. I'd make my own curry paste, I'd fuck around because it was brought me joy and grounded me after a day at work.

My partner keeps reminding me that we can have jar sauce and pasta, or frozen pizza. Because however long I'm cooking is more time she has to look after our son, when she's spent the day with him and is already touched out.

I was prepared to step back from my hobbies and I've been okay with that for a while, it's just I'm suddenly realizing that my cooking is another hobby I have to step back from.

To all my stay at home dad's, or other dads that may have just had the experience, do you ever feel guilty being a stay-at-home dad?

I was raised that money is super important and to keep everything as pristine as possible and I know I have a bit of a complex because of it. So, I decided a long time ago I wanted to be a provider for my family and the rest can fall work wants to.

Lost my job just before finding out the wife was pregnant! My kiddo is now nearing one year old and I'm still unemployed. Lots of positives! Don't get me wrong lot of great times with the little booger, but I feel so guilty being a stay-at-home Dad when my wife would love to be a stay-at-home mom that I feel guilty just stepping away to watch a TV show for myself, or taking a few hours every week to go do a hobby or something I want to do.

I know I'm a bit of an oddball but wondering if anyone else has had these irrational(?) feels?

I mean I love my kid and he's putting me in a great mood as I started stressing by thinking about losing my job etc but I still feel like I'm wasting my time and not doing enough

don’t have family nearby to help w the baby i know it’s a lot but i work and doordash on side and am constantly stopping and coming home just to put the baby to bed and leave again, sleeping maybe 5 hours. which is how it is but just feels like she doesn’t care to lighting the load. feel like anyway i steer this conversation it turns into a argument and i love her but want to figure this out. i’m 23 and she’s 22 and our daughter is 8 months old.

edit: yes i said bruh and prolly not the best thing to call the mother of my child but that’s just how we talk i guess.

Our daughter is 2.5 and it feels like the ability to do anything has progressively disappeared. I really enjoy being a dad but I can’t do anything on my own anymore, and my health is paying the price. I can’t exercise, can’t get enough sleep, can’t recharge, hobbies are all dwindling. I’m not sure I’d do this again if I knew it would be like this even with as much as I love my daughter. I didn’t realize being a dad would be the only thing I was within a few years.

thanks.

Edit: thank you for all of the advice. Recently went to the doctor and have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and prediabetic. I’ve never had any problems with any of that stuff and now I drop into bed completely spent every day. I have no idea when I’d work out, unless I started getting up at 3am.

This has been very validating, thank you again.

I want to start with I LOVE my son (7m) and wife. However, I've noticed an extreme shift in myself since becoming a father. I have found that I have absolutely no patience. I used to pride myself on never getting angry. Sure, I would get upset, or annoyed, but never truly angry. My downs would only ever last 30 minutes, and after taking some space. Now however, the smallest of things set me off. Son doesn't finish the bottle? Angry and feels world ending. All of this seems crazy because I from what I know, he's a very easy baby. Sleeps well, happy most of the time, except the last month. (He has gotten 6 teeth in the last 4 weeks) It also ends up with the frustration of not understanding why I'm mad or angry. It comes out of nowhere for seeminly no reason. The same goes for my wife. Trip on something she left out? I go 0-100.

I also feel like I've lost all motivation do anything. Whether its work related, or even just gaming which was one of my main hobbies. I will go to play games in the free time I do get, and just end up scrolling through titles and libraries for an hour and a half, where I run out of time and need to go to bed. Even things like feeding the dogs or loading the dishwasher, which used to be no brainers feel like monumental tasks.

I've tried to talk to others, even do mental health coaching, but it has only made me feel crazy. Most of my friends are single, so seeing how much time they have for hobbies and themselves definitely makes me jealous. But, I do know and accept that I do not get as much time since I am married and have a kid. I also would not trade either for their lives. The only other Dad I talk to basically told me that I have an easy baby and that he had it worse.

The peak for all these feelings was last week. He usually sleeps 7:30am-7:00am, which I know is GREAT for his age. But he woke up at 6:00am, and I had to jump up, knowing he's hungry. I tried to feed him, in which he only ate 3 ounces and then proceeded to push the bottle away. For whatever reason, this set me off and I tossed the bottle on the floor in anger. This immediately was a red flag in my mind, and meant I was no longer safe for my baby. My heart immediately sank with guilt and heart break. I ended up telling my wife, and gave her the baby. I finally broke out in tears because I was so upset at what I had done and could not believe that I had done that.

I have done some research on post partum in men, but there really isn't much available. Im also looking to talk to my doctor about anti-depressants, as I have definitely been thinking I'm depressed and as much as I hate to admit it, knowing I previously had suicidal thoughts in the past I need to get ahead of it before it gets there.

So any dads out there, do you have advice? Anything similar? Just kind of want to know that I'm not crazy, or just a bad father, cause that's where my mind goes.

I'm also willing to answer any questions anyone may have.

Hey dads. I'm the guy that asked for support a month ago:

https://www.reddit.com/r/daddit/s/kRaIr8KdHM

I want to thank everybody for their prayers, positive thoughts, stories, and words of encouragement. I really tried reading every comment, thank you for saying where you were sending your messages from, I was amazed that they were really coming from all over the world!

Today (after 5 weeks since the illness started) we left the hospital, she's in good shape. Happy, energetic, talkative. From the outside you wouldn't see much that would tell you what she's been through. Maybe her legs and arms are now kinda thin (from staying in bed for 5 weeks and not getting any exercise).

But even if we won the battle, the war is not over yet. We were asked to come back next week for tests. We will come back weekly for the first month, then monthly for the first year, then yearly for the rest of her life.

Right now her kidneys are well enough to support her body and not need dialysis but they are still fragile and need protecting. She is not allowed salt until further orders from the doctor. She must drink 600ml+ of water daily. She must not get sick (sickness and medication put pressure on the kidneys). She's not allowed in malls, in parks with kids, no seeing family and friends indoors, no kindergarten. We must protect her for the next 3 months to give time for the kidneys to recover.

Right now I'm not sure if we're in the 70% that will have a normal life or the 29% that will have something to be careful about for the rest of our lives. Like that farmer in Bluey says: We'll see.

It's now the beginning of the rest of our lives. We now have a different view about what's important and what's just noise in life. We went through hell and managed to come back.

Thanks to all the people involved. From the doctors, nurses and other auxiliary staff at the hospital. To our friends, family, and "village". To everybody doing the medical research and building the medical equipment. To my country/system that helped us without putting us in debt (without insurance we would have payed about 17000 euros, we only paid about 300 euros). To all of you guys (and gals) for sending your energy our way. Thank you for everything.

I know I just need to talk about it with my wife but I’m still processing my feelings so I can talk appropriately and not be accusatory. Anyway…

I feel like my wife is way too cavalier with tv. It’s like, whenever she’s on “primary parent” duty she’s either letting him roam and in her phone, or turning on Elmo or one of her shows on the big tv.

In the grand scheme of things, my 1.5 year old isn’t actually getting much “screen time” and I know it’s fine. But it feels like I’m trying to engage on the floor with him or just watch him while he plays or anything I can to avoid having screens involved.

I’m not perfect. I’m on my phone too much. But I’m also the one doing every morning even weekends while she sleeps in. And every late night when she works.

Today my wife worked late. I left work early to pick kiddo up from daycare. We got home, we played on the floor, I made him dinner, then played some more. Prepped dinner for wife and I.

Had a gut feeling she wouldn’t be home by the time she said to watch him while I cook then do yard work. So I put the kid in the backpack carrier and mowed the lawn. Did some work in the garden. Came back inside and talked to wife while she drove back (kiddo is not happy he can hear but not see mom). She gets home an hour past she originally said. And immediately it’s “let’s watch some tv, mom needs to decompress”

So do I! But guess what. He needs no screens. He needs you to engage with him and then put him to bed while I cook a late dinner. Instead I’ll cook this dinner then put the kid to bed while she eats then she’ll leave for her evening stuff and I’ll do dishes and maybe find time to read some tonight.

I’m just venting. This isn’t every day. I know my brain is blowing it up. But damn I’m frustrated with it tonight.

Even though we‘re all fine and healthy, I miss my two year old every second, at work, at hobbies - like constant.
Deep inside I want to quit everything else in my life just to spend the max. amount of time with her.
I know, sounds crazy - won’t do that.
But does it get better from time to time?
I am really struggling to for example play tennis once a week because that’s time I could spend with her.
It drives me nuts sometimes to get my ass up and actually go to work when she’s at home.
Can anyone else relate?

Newborn, 8 days in. Wife is having issues breastfeeding, we havent done more than an hour since the hospital because the latch hurts her. Milk production has been low.

We have seen a lactation consultant and pediatrician which all say latch issues are from a tongue tie. We are seeing an ent for a consultation tomorrow.

I'm hesitant to proceed with this surgery. I've read how it can create more problems, causing sensitivity when eating and read horror stories about babies who have seen rapid weight loss from essentially refusing to eat post surgery.

I also dont see the point. I get my wife wants to breast feed, but our baby has gained weight since leaving the hospital, almost back to birth weight, and averaging 16-20oz per day on bottles. I dont think ive seen someone chug like that since college.

Why mess with bottle feeding when it is working so we can try something that you may not like? Her niece had no tongue tie, was breast fed for 2 weeks before her sister was like f this, and went to bottles.

To add, both my wife and I were fed as kids on formula only and both turned out healthy. I get the motherly instinct to breastfeed but neither of us did. If production picks up, let's pour it into a bottle.

Worst case scenario, I could see us proceeding with a surgery, her deciding breast feeding isnt for her and want to do bottles, us back pedaling, and our baby being in pain and not taking back to the bottle, introducing a sleuth of serious problems.

Does anyone have experience with tongue tie, how did the procedure go, what was your motivation for getting it? Would you get one if your only reason was breast feeding comfort but baby was otherwise fine with a bottle and gaining weight?